Adam&Lilith-combined by Alan Grant

Adam & Lilith: The Original Odd Couple By Alan Grant 2003 It is based on the Hebrew legend of Lilith, that dates back to around 700A.D. Lilith was the first wife of Adam, and as a feminist would not subordinate to him in any manner (sexually or otherwise). She flew away from the Garden of Eden and came to rest somewhere on the shores of the Red Sea. On behalf of Adam , God sent several angels to bring her back. Despite (their) entreaties, she refused. Over the generations she has been demonized as a threat to destroy newborn male children, and, in medieval Europe some women will wear amulets during pregnancy in order to ward off evil imprecations of Lilith. In recent times Lilith has emerged as a society of emancipated women. In this play, all the characters have prescience–can project themselves forward and backward in time to abstract from, and refer to, future or past happenings as if they were happening now. …We begin with,… ADAM I, am Adam, the “Quintessence of Dust” By my own drust I cannot pass beyond My ego bond To be other Than I must! (Hamlet: Act 2, Scene 2) LILITH I, am Lilith. “What a piece of work is (this) man.” (Hamlet: Same Scene) AIV I, am Adam’s inner voice. …I try to boost Adam up. Does he ever need it! LIV I, am Lilith’s inner voice. …No “Sugarcoating” – I tell it like it is. ANGELA I, am AngelA. …I just run errands. ANGELB I, am AngelB. …Ditto! NARRATOR Angels, be aware! Soon you will meet an uninvited guest,…..”Me!”

NARRATOR: Act 1. THE BEGINNING. Scene 1. After having met with Lilith, AngelA and AngelB are flying back to the Garden of Eden ANGELB Being angels has its perks. Flying around above the fray and eavesdropping (fancy that word) on all those mortal creatures below us, is fun. ANGELA Tell me why, when we are out on an assignment, our “Maker” intentionally chooses to be unaware of our thoughts and verbal exchanges with each other? ANGELB It’s a vote of confidence. “He” does not want to inhibit our efforts to be resourceful, in getting the job done. But “He” does expect results! ANGELA …. sounds like a “carrot and a stick.” The threat of being punished, as fat little “Marbles” on perches in cathedrals, terrifies me! ANGELB Wouldn’t you like “cutesy” names–cherubs and seraphim? ANGELA Give me a break! And who would want idiotic smiles to be put on us in paintings? [Tongue out – Rolls Eyes] ANGELB Look, people would look up to us. A little flattery never hurts anyone – Angels or Humans! ANGELA You’re too easygoing. But enough of this chitchat, my wings are getting tired. ANGELB So are mine, but we have to follow orders. Shuttle diplomacy is repetitive, tedious, and we have failed in persuading Lilith to come home. ANGELA Wasn’t that a curious encounter with her?

ANGELB Yes, and there is almost occult presence about……. ANGELA Why she mysteriously describes her abode as “The Sands of Promise,” is beyond me. ANGELB And from which she can never be separated. Now that is shadowy! ANGELA Intriguing! And the cryptic allusion to her “special gene,” what does all this mean? ANGELB Well, guessing aside, what’s our next move? ANGELA If we were “Bounty Hunters,” we could drag her back in handcuffs. ANGELB Come on now! We are supposed to be gentle “Angelic” creatures. ANGELA Well, we might get a reward. ANGELB Not likely! Don’t you recall the words, “Virtue is its own reward.” ANGELA Hmm, I bet some advertising guru thought that one up! ANGELB Anyway, let’s just enjoy the scenery. I never tire of the beautiful sunrises and sunsets over the Red Sea.

ANGELA How do we explain our failure in a gentle way to the “Boss.” Remember what happens to the messenger when he brings bad news to the Chinese emperor in the days of the Middle Kingdom. ANGELB It’s brutal! Off with his head or hands! Or, more likely with us–a flapping appendage. [Hand slits throat] ANGELB Could you still fly with one wing? ANGELA Maybe on a “wing and a prayer.”…. [Tips torso to one side–one hand hangs down at side–other arm folded at elbow–flapping].

NARRATOR: This is Scene 2. Adam, in the Garden of Eden, is discoursing longdistance with Lilith, somewhere, within her obscure abode. (Here is where we really take apart “Establishment” icons– many of them!). ADAM Well, my notsosuccessful feathered friends, where is Lilith? Why has she not returned to our “Paradise?” ANGELA She refusesand says you are unfair and not an “Egalitarian.” AIV Egalit…..what? …You can’t even pronounce that word. ADAM Is that why she left my bed and board? It is so luscious and bountiful here. ANGELA She is angry and harangued us, that she abhors your superiority complex.

ADAM But it is so wonderful here. AIV And she got to “experience” you! LIV What “Chutzpah!” That “weapon” of his is going to conquer the world? LILITH You must be the “living end!” LIV What he is only good for, he is not very good at! .... [Thumbs nose at Adam] ADAM Well, am I not made in the image of my “Maker?” [Puffs up chest] LILITH And since the “Maker” is truly the “Almightiest,” and you are replicate of ….? LIV …..Ugh! Here comes “Mister Smug!” ADAM …[Marches around–erect posture–chest backarms Swinging]…I can live with

that! AIV What a prize you are! LILITH That does not make you “eternal.” My “Sisters’ will outlast you by at least 5 to 1. LIV And end up with all your money! … [With big smilewets finger to lips–peels off bills with thumb to other hand]

ADAM But while I am here, I’m special. How could I not be. Just think, the “Creator” made me from dust Ex Nihilo (something from nothing). I am like the “Big Bang.” (pronounced ExNeheeelo) LILITH How convenient! You “invent’ your own “Maker,” who returns the favor by declaring you,… “To Be!” And as afterthought, for your pleasure, God “gifts’ you Eve. LIV A lesser mortal, a mere “Possession!” A “Servant” for all seasons! ADAM Eve is here for me, so that my “Line” may continue. I plant trees. I am her “LifeForce!” AIV “Attaboy,” rub it in! She will bear no “Fruit” without your input! LILITH So you’re a “Planter”sowing at your impulse and by your whimsy! LIV Input? Let him have “fun” with a lemon! LILITH Eve is your prized ”HarleyDavidson”–tuned, polished ,clutched, throttled up or downand used!... .[Blows breath on hand–polishes up motorcycle with circular motion]

AIV You are entitled to your “toys,” ….poker, whisky, fast cars. ADAM Well, it works for me! ...[Adjusts goggles–grips handles] ”HarrumHarruuuum” Why do you keep trying to stir things up? LILITH Adam, if you take that “fromthedust” story literally, then you have ignored all the creatures that came before us.

LIV And why should you, or your “Sisters,” have to wait until you all end up as dust in order to become equals? ADAM Nothing came before us! Why do you challenge how we got here? LILITH Because of evolution! We evolved through eons of time–through stages of amoebas, worms, reptiles, monkeys. ADAM Come now. You imply that I have descended from a worm? AIV Adam, you are not a “wimp.” Stand up for yourself! …[To Audience] (Never ask openended questions. The answers will “bite’ you!). LILITH …[To audience] (A worm? This is too good to resist). Every now and then, that has crossed my mind. …[Demonstrates by holding up one hand–Wiggles like a worm]

ADAM Outrageous! The Bishop of Ussher says that it all began precisely on Sunday, October 23 rd , in the year 4004 BCwhen Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel. Case closed! LILITH Not so–you, uncritically “bought” into it. Ussher is a “selfduped” male churchman. A “BegatBack”no better than a “BeanCounter!” …[With fingertip Moves one bean at a time–from other palm–to another spot]

LIV He should be a CPA! ADAM But, it makes sense. He backed up all the generations until“Me!”

LILITH It is senseless! Evolution itself, is the greatest miracle–that we exist at all! Call it a “Guiding Hand” or “Intelligent Design. Adam, think on it! ADAM How can I believe something else? “Genesis” describes my creation! LIV His “Creator” has only half a brain – The left side!

… [Hand placed vertically

against the face–along the midlinemoves slowly to the left] Like– being half blessed! …[To audience] (More likely, half,…you know what!)

LILITH “Genesis” is a fairytale! The idea that all is initially perfect in a miniscule instant of time–and forever afterward degenerates into blame and recrimination, is nonsense. A religious “Law of Entropy”–from pure to impure! LIV If the “Creator” were a “She,” this absurdity would not “be!” AIV What nerve! She insists on going against the very orderofthings. …[To audience] (I think she is rebelling against herself). ADAM I disagree. In the Garden of Eden, being “first among unequals,” confirms my “Primacy”dominion over all fish, birds, animals and…. LILITH Sorry. But not over me! ADAM Remember the words of Augustine, separating heaven and earth, and demanding acceptance of “Divine Edict.” LILITH Such “received authority,” I regard as ancient, medieval serfdom, and yes Modern code for indenture!

LIV You are not, his “pottedplant” property! …[Holds watering canup hightips to water her head]

ADAM Why are you so aggressive? Argue, argue, argue! AIV …[To audience] (There’s no “give” to her. Maybe she is the first lawyer?) LILITH Argue? ...To get a seat at the table. I have found my voice despite all your obstacles to property, suffrage and careers. And as for dowry, that’s nothing but bribery to fob off a “Sister.” LIV Now it is called the “glass ceiling.” It has always been a “crass ceiling.” ADAM But look at all the wonderful things I have wrought–the plow, the industrial age. AIV You are “MasterBuilder!” A man among men! LIV Get a ‘load’ of him On his “High Horse” again. LILITH “Blab” on if you will. If I do not provide you with male heirs, none of these things will happen. And you have been known, to deny credit that belongs to my “Sisters.” . ADAM Really? Give me a “for instance.”

LILITH That’s easy! The discovery of the DoubleHelix , explaining how genes work. Three men become Nobel Laureates – Without acknowledging that they stole the key data from, Rosalind Franklin. It was her research that led to accepting only two equal, mind you – Two Equal Strands! The key that unlocks this great puzzle. ADAM Maybe she is too “pushy.” LILITH You are right. She doesn’t suffer graciously, as a “tagalong” in male dominated science. Besides, if you look at the genes within the Double Helix, there is no ascendancy of one type over another. Genes are simply genes–“Egalitarian.” ADAM What’s with this “Jean” business? Maybe they are just too tight? …[Puts thumbs inside each side of pants–pulls outward]

LILITH Don’t patronize me. That’s not funny! AIV Too intense. …[Makes a “LongFace”] …No sense of humor! ADAM Come on now, we both get a fair “shake.” The Declaration of Independence categorically states, … “All men are created equal!” LILITH And that magnificent document is written by? [Head tiltsWaits for response] ADAM Thomas Jefferson, of course, a giant of an intellect! LILITH Isn’t he a slaveholder? ADAM Yes, but he is a product of his times.

LILITH What a sorry alibi. Doesn’t he sire a child by a slave mistress? AIV Adam, tell her,… Jefferson has “needs!” LILITH And, that allows him to be a sexual predator? …Ridiculous! ADAM But, but….. LILITH No “buts!” Let’s assume that,… “All men are created equal”Includes women as well. Does he live by those eloquent words he speaks? ADAM But, what an enlightened thinker he is LILITH How much elixir of “inalienable rights” falls to Sally Hemmings? AIV Be careful! …[To audience] (She is ”baiting” you!) ADAM Well, he trys. LIV Hmmph! Brilliance is nothing, if it cannot recognize hypocrisy! LILITH Adam, that is not good enough! And you are unable to answer. AIV “Dummy!” Where was your “due diligence,”before consorting with this obstreperous …...

ADAM …Enough! You are a pain! Leave it lie! … [Folds arms across chest– grimaces– taps one foot]

LIV Now, he’s a silent stoic. …[To audience] (What a coward!). ADAM All right, already“Time Out!” … [Makes a “TimeOut” sign] Let’s have some peace! AIV She never lets things lie. What petulance! …Why, do you put up with this? LILITH …[In resignationsoftens temperament] By the way, how did we meet? ADAM I found you in Isaiah 34:14 in the Jerusalem Bible. But, I should have looked at other biblical versions that refer to you as a “Night Hag” or “Screech Owl.” LILITH Those labels are as meaningless as Aesop’s Fables. AIV Fables or not–she is an “Untamable Shrew!” ADAM Oh, How I long for “Bachelorhood!”! AIV …[To audience] (But, without celibacy!) LILITH Look Adam, If our genes are “Egalitarian,” then so are we! That implies equal opportunity. It doesn’t guarantee equal outcomes. But at least life’s journey should begin at the same starting line.

ADAM But we have different ordained purposes, a division of labor that we are intended to abide by? I go out and “breadwin,” and you mind the home and bake bread. AIV And cheerfully, receives your seed. …[Winks eye – Gives “V” sign] LILITH I am just as capable of “breadwinning” as you are. What do you think would be the ultimate expression of egalitarianism? ADAM I’m almost afraid to ask. Please, enlighten me. LILITH If women could impregnate men, wouldn’t that be the neatest? ADAM Are you kidding? There would be families with only one kid. AIV No man in his right mind would let a woman do this to him twice! [Puts a finger to his temple like a cocked gun – Pulls trigger] …(“ProChoice” would become a sacrament!). LILITH Birth control would take on a whole new dynamic. LIV What a pretty picture Him with a backache, a fat belly and swollen feet! …[Stands swayback–thrusts stomach outward–open handsholds the bulge]

LILITH Adam, that creation myth has crippled you. Even if whoever or whatever first so pronounced “Let there be light!,” I doubt that you will ever see the light. ADAM … [Stutters] But, but, I am kind and gentle.

AIV Where’s your backbone? You don’t have to apologize for what you are. LILITH So What! I bet you also love horses, pet dogs and feed birds. Be serious! Why can’t you be more of an iconoclast? ADAM What for? …[To audience] (Why ruin a good thing?) LILITH …to break suffocating bondsto break idols. Abraham and Moses break idols. In your case it would mean breaking your internal mindset. AIV I don’t think Lilith respects your “Creator.” ADAM Why should I question? Why should I doubt? Our “Divinity” is everything! LILITH Adam, “Divinity” comes from “divine.” And if you look at Webster’s Dictionary, to divine is to think! Don’t you divine? ADAM There can only be one “Diviner!” LILITH If you are a mirrorimage of “youknowwho,” are you not equally a “Diviner?” …[Adam Takes out a handmirror–admires his reflection Moves fingertips to smooth out his sideburns–retracts upper lip to reveal perfect upper teeth. LILITH

Well? Stop that preening. …Don’t hide,… Out with it! AIV What temerityto dare suggest this. Where is her “BendedKnee?” ADAM To even answer would be sacrilegious!

LILITH It’s a simple question. Stop refusing to “think!” …[In his face] Give me a yes or no! AIV Adam, don’t lose your “cool!” She is trying to provoke you. ADAM I emulate Descarte! …[Puffs up] “I thinktherefore I am!” LIV More likely, He “Is,” therefore, every now and then, he “Thinks.” LILITH Adam, relax. Try to stay “loose!” ADAM All right, …answer me this. Why did the serpent tempt Eve in the Garden of Eden? …[Pretends to be a serpentboth hands slightly apart–slivering] LILITH The serpent did not tempt! Biting into the “Apple of Knowledge” is simply Eve’s curiousity. It’s the sign of a free mind. How can this be considered sinful and warrant human downfall? ADAM That “bite” was meant to be, and as a consequence we are banished from the Garden of Eden. Eve is to blame and causes only toil and trouble ahead. LIV My, how “pure” he is. What a selfrighteous prig! LILITH That’s a fine “howdoyoudo.” The religious powersthatbe have manufactured “Original Sin,” from which we can never make amends. And you have fallen for this. Each of us has a “Reptilian” brain that says,…”Eat it or ignore it.” And you were so intimidated, that you refused to take the first bite!

LIV Eve took the risk–and look how she pays, over and over ..[Pause] and over. ADAM “Original Sin” “is!”simply because it is “written!” Isaac Newton says we live in a “Clockwork Universe,” wherein everything is divinely set out and predictable. LILITH As theology, that’s “mishmash!” … [Rotates hands about each other–then flares open palms outward] Even geniuses can go wrong. ADAM Lilith, you are so oversensitive and perceive everything as a male “construct.” There is only one way to describe you. You’re a,…you’re a,… that’s it,…a “Feminist!” LILITH I like that description. What a compliment–a “Feminist!” … [Plays trumpet with “Flourishes!” “But a tup it da – da da da!” If I have become thus, it’s only becauseyou are,… a “MaleInsist!” AIV What did she say? … [Cocks head sideways] Be suspicious! ADAM A “MaleInsist?” If that label is praise, then why are you so good to me? LILITH It’s not praise! As a male, you almost always “insist” on a path I am expected to follow. ADAM I refuse that title. A worthy description of me is just “Adam!”and no more! And further, what I cannot abide is when you “Feminists” feel sorry for yourselves. I have no patience with whiners and complainers. LIV Exasperating! …[To audience] (What pomposity!)

LILITH Maybe if you were not so hidebound in your attitudes–bitching and moaning would stop! What about your ”Brothers,” who go on and on about defending their caves, and how hard it is to face the world? AIV ….At least you never try to “cry” your way out of a traffic ticket! …[Pulls out a handkerchief feigns tears–wipes eyesblows nose]

LILITH Adam, go have a nice subjugated wife. Eve is perfect for you. She does not even share the dubious credit of having emerged from the dust. But she is pretty, appealing, slyly blinks her eyes, has enticing bodylanguage. And with sexappeal that could crack an egg at fifty paces. LIV Bingo! he can “begat” to his heart’s content! …[Thust hips forward – Twice] …Maybe, to your heart’s,…discontent! ADAM …[Waves pennant Shows sly smile] Wait a minute. What do you think attracted me to you? AIV Her brains, of course …(Yeah, yeah,… only her brains.) LILITH …Probably the same things as with Eve. Was it my intellect, or were your brains “addled” by my appearance? You may have come to “Know” me, in the biblical sense, but I doubt if you really know me. I am not your “Victoria Secret” fantasy! … [Hands cup breasts–raises upward] LIV And furthermore, after he “jumped on your bones,” he snored! …[Places both hands against ear–gradually tips head to that side–mouth opens crookedly Snores]

ADAM What will happen if we stay together?

LILITH Too many compromises! Agreeing to not disagreeing a tenuous “Modus Vivendi.” I weep for what I have lost. AIV …Tears always seeking sympathy. …[To audience] (What a potent combination!). ADAM What loss? You have deserted me. Now, you’re independent. What are your plans? What will you do? LILITH And what of me? According to legend, every now and then I will pop up to prey upon the superstitions of my “Eve sisterhood.” They even wear amulets during pregnancy to ward off my evil intent against newborn males. ADAM Perhaps, there some legitimacy to this. Maybe you wear this “shoe” because it fits! LIV That’s a ‘BumRap!” LILITH It’s a misfit! I am wrongfully demonized by your entrenched “Brothers!” I have a “Mission!” My role is to make all the “Eves” grow up, shed their hangups, and be equal partners in life. I am Eve’s best advocate! If not for me, who will do battle for all the “Eves” to come? LIV You, are more than just a “GoAlongSidekick.” ADAM Isn’t your “Mission” pointless? If Eve is a part of me–extracted from my very rib, then I am her best friend. Why should I not be her steward? AIV She should appreciate you.

LILITH Adam, If you allow that “Whither goest I, go thou” defines Eve only as your “Chattel,” do you realize – You,… have caused me to exist! LIV Poor, accepting Eve. How blind she is. .. [Bows down– “Salam” position]. ADAM “Chattel?” That’s “madeup” nonsense! I encourage Eve. Why would I spawn such a headache for myself? LIV …[To audience] (It’s his ”bestowedupon baggage.”) LILITH Believe it or not, you will be doing this for generations and generations, ADAM Lilith, you have wounded me. … [ Clutches heart with both hands–staggers] ….If only I had, had a mother,… she would never do this to me! AIV …[To audience] (Being raised up from the dust, has it’s disadvantages.) LILITH So be it! Growing up is not easy.

Narrator: This is Scene 3. (This is where I Get to show my “Stuff”). AngelA and AngelB are “lazing’ around in the sky–pondering life, creation, religion,… anything to delay facing the music back home. ANGELA In all the “Eons” we have been doing the “MessengerBit” – Nothing really Changes–except the “Artifacts.” .

ANGELB You meanmore yellow “Arches,” and less yellow flowers. ANGELA …..And more traffic–and less trees. Why does the “Boss” keep sending us out? Is it just “makework.” Keeping the staff busy? Who knows, someday we may be obsolesced by spy satellites. ANGELB Are you implying that there may appear a new type of “Big Brother”who will take the place of our “Everloving?” ANGELA God forbid! ANGELB “Phew!” That’s a relief. We still have some job security. ANGELA Let’s stop “dawdling.” Be brave and “blurt” out the bad news to the “Boss” and hope we survive! ANGELB Well then, just between us angels, do you think that Adam and Lilith can ever make peace and live harmoniously? ANGELA Absolutely NO! ANGELB Why not? ANGELA Because the “Boss” goofed.. The cardinal mistake was to give Adam “Original Ego.” Then along came religion that further blundered by declaring “Original Sin.” ANGELB Ah! …This unbalanced the scales – Totally in favor of Adam. Yin and Yang are not equivalent. Eve is handicapped!

ANGELA Exactly! It is simpler for Eve to yield and to accept rather than challenge the tradition and force of holywrit perpetuated throughout the ages. And if she really dissents and “mouthsoff,” there is shunning, excommunication, stoning, the rack, boiling oil, witchburning and a few other “charmers” to refocus her attention. ANGELB Good caseinpoint! Joan of Arc burns at the stake, because she commits a crime against God. …An egregious sin! She wears men’s clothing and refuses not to. ANGELA She infringes on the ultimate male province–the “Deity.” She does not bend to church protocol. She is an “Evil Eve!” … [Thumbs downslitting throat motion with finger]

ANGELB So she must always submit? To just pray and obey! How does all this come to pass? ANGELA Trace it to Moses, Peter and Mohammedthe “Big Three”–purporting to believe in, and honor the same deity. ANGELB So then, it’s a theistic conglomerate? And “El Supremo” is the CEO? ANGELA A good analogy. But, the divisions do not cooperate with each other for the common good. Rather, they always compete, often denigrate, and many times Go to war. ANGELB Why? Are the guilty parties the “Big Three,” or is it their followers who don’t want to lose perks and privileges?

NARRATOR Gentlemen, Gentlemen,… May I speak? May I,… ANGELA ……Why are you interrupting our discussion? …[Head thrust forward– challenging mode] You are only supposed to announce each new scene. NARRATOR Because, my “TwoCents” opinionmay be as important– As your “Journeyman” views! ANGELB So you say,… but why? Are you a “TheatreHam?”who can’t bear to stay silent? NARRATOR Let’s say, I am simply an interested observer… ANGELA …. Of our affairs? …[To audience] (Sounds more like meddling!) NARRATOR It’s a forum, to discuss why the “BigThree” are all guilty. The unuttered truth for each, is that,… “my supreme deity” is better than “your supreme deity!” ANGELB Isn’t each entitled toa bit of provincial pride, in this matter? NARRATOR … Not justifiable! How can you be sure that Moses, or Peter, Or Mohammed – Were anointed as special envoys? Moses is convinced he was selected at Sinai (just because he brought back two carved rocks). Peter assumed his “Marching Orders” after the “Last Supper.” And Mohammed, simply, wrote out the Q’uran all by himself. ANGELA So why are these “Worthies,” unworthy to “Pontificate?”

NARRATOR Because, each of them coopted “Divine” thoughts! – And turned them into their words! “Interpreters” – With their own agendas are dangerous zealots! If there is an “I Am, That I Am”–“It” wants to deal directly which each human being. ANGELB Well, someone had to write things down – In order to spread the “The Word.” NARRATOR Listen, …. One of the greatest human urges, is not to love or hate, but rather, for someone to change another person’s copy. In this case the ”Copy” is not written down It is,…only of the mind! …[Touches finger to foreheadtaps twice] The Mind! ANGELA Look,… humans are fallible. They need guidance. Don’t they? NARRATOR I accept that. But, purity of thought, with each rewriting, strays further and further away from ”Its” intent. I shudder at what editors do to Tablets, Gospels, Manifestos (Damnable – All!). ANGELB Enough already. So, what do you want from us? We don’t make the rules. NARRATOR Recognition! Your “Boss” may be “SimonPure” – But organized religion is badly flawed – Selfserving! Missing is “Syncretism” accepting the validity of another faith! ANGELA We can’t change that. It’s too tall an order. Narrator, be a “good scout.” Stop “SoapBoxing,” and …[“Shoos” away – With back of hands] go back to doing what you do bestannounce the scenes!. NARRATOR That I will. But, be assured, we will meet again! (That “MaleMindset” also cripples the both of you. It is a “Bummer”).

ANGELB Now, where were we? Oh, the inspiring “Big Three.” Each of these leaders promises a reward–if their “faithful” are really “True Believers!” ANGELA And all thru this, are they acting as surrogates for Adam? ANGELB Sadly yes! And it “overinflates” him. Adam does not heed the plea of the poet,… “Pull down thy vanity, Pull down thy vanity!” ANGELA It “boilsdown” to Adam’s persona! “My tribe against another tribe – My family against another family – Me against my brother – Me “over” my mate!” NARRATOR: Fellows,… It’s me again. ANGELA What is it this time? … [Hands on hips – Showing annoyance] NARRATOR Can’t you see, that the “Big Three,” give only lipservice to Monotheism (Deep down – Only their version is true). ANGELB We are just “employees.” It’s not our place to,……. NARRATOR …doubt, or question? … Listen! We would all be better off, If every human being had his, or her own “Maker.” This creature would be a,…A “MonoPers!” Each and every person would be totally free to accept (or reject) a personal God! ANGELA ”A Mono,…?” What? Are you serious?

NARRATOR You heard correctly. A “MonoPers!” Why not? All the religious bureaucracies would become irrelevant,… would fade away! ANGELB Frightening! Then, so would we! (Can we get – Unemployment Insurance?). ANGELA Or,… (Food Stamps?). … [Peels off a food stamp – Hands it to,…] ANGELB Well, if what the Narrator proposes,… should actually come to pass,…? ANGELA …Then, our whole structureis in deep, deep – “Do!” … [Holds his nose – Fans himself with other hand]

NARRATOR I’m waiting. What do your think of my idea? Simply–a mindtomind communion–God to Person, Person to God. No “GoBetweens!” A “Collegiality of Equals!” Don’t’ be bashful. ANGELB Da, dada, da,… (We’d better “sidetrack” this – Or we are finished!). ANGELA Narrator, we think this needs some serious thought–and study. NARRATOR I smell a “Committee,” a “Panel,” a “Commission!” ANGELB What you are proposing – Is momentous! ANGELA We need time! To investigate, analyze, conference….

NARRATOR “Charade, Charade!” Don’t worry. You are not likely to be “Riffed.” Because, there is no such thing as a “SunsetBureaucracy” that would voluntarily put itself out of business. ANGELB A reprieve! We can now sleep better. Let’ plod on! Without a “Gaggle” of “Scribes” to keep repeating “The Word,” what else would keep the “Faithful” faithful? ANGELA “Afterlife!” The fear of what happens to a “notsoperfect believer,” or the lure of benefit because of goodbehavior. ANGELB Why should anyone believe? ANGELA It’s cheap insurance, just in case “Afterlife” truly exists. …A matter of “hedging one’s bets.” ANGELB Well, do Moses, Peter, and Mohammed share the same views on “Afterlife?” ANGELA No, how one gets to Heaven or ends up in Hades, or goes nowhere, is different for each. ANGELB It seems that this whole lineage of “do’s and don’t’s,” harks directly back to Adam. Is he the “Casus Belli?” ANGELA You bet! In reading the Decalogue, The Ten Commandments, the tenth commandment says ,… “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his ox, nor his ass….” Is there any stronger evidence, that the “Almighty” is complicit in favoring the ‘Primacy of Adam?”

NARRATOR A, Hah!,….. Is this a “Dagger” (of insight) you see before thee? (How I love to paraphrase MacBeth!) Let thee clutch the idea,…. ANGELB …that if not for “Primacy,” is Adam “bornagain”to love one and all, equally and without prejudice? …And no longer do “mischief?” NARRATOR Well, He hasn’t so far. He cannot subdue his ego to other than “his designated deity.” Hubris is always on his side in any caucus. (Lilith and her “Sisters” would love to be privy to this conversation). ANGELA Confirming Adam,… as a hopeless “Chauvin?” NARRATOR Ponder, you wayward “Cherubs” Ponder! Once that mantle of “Primacy” is draped around Adam’s shoulders, it ensures a never ending “Battle of the Sexes!” ANGELB But, supposing the “Big Three” suddenly agree that Genesis is simply myth and allegory, does the “Primacy of Adam” fade ….? NARRATOR …..away? Unlikely! As “Children” of Adam’s “Original Ego,” all three prophets are “locked” into the same “Opiate Mantra”… “I prescribe, and my flock subscribes”! ANGELA Better, they should keep their “Hangups.” Or else, …[“ByeBye” gesture] …It’s “ByeBye”for us! ANGELB Maybe, we could suggest a new belief system, with no “Adamic Ego” or “Primacy?”

ANGELA That simply won’t work Because Adam is his “Maker’s” favorite son. The alternative would be chaos and disorder. Just like “Frisbee.” There would be no “Generals” to give orders! ANGELB The real culprit is “Creationism!” On the other hand, if evolution is accepted as the sire of Homo Sapiens, Eve becomes the equal of Adam? NARRATOR There you have it! ,… a better beginning than,…. “In the Beginning…” ANGELB Why can’t Adam simply forgo that selfcentered “Shtick?” NARRATOR Because, he loves control! It is “Power!” ... [Raises clenched fist – In defiance]

ANGELA ….For which, the ”Otherness” of Eve and her “Sisters, must pay the price? ,,,Hmmm. NARRATOR Angels, my compliments! …[Bows deeply to Angels] The “Truth” dawns slowly. The unfairness is out in the open. Now, you can “thrash” it out! ANGELB All right! Who says life is always fair? Why doesn’t Lilith, on behalf of Eve, accept this and be content with her lot? ANGELA Impossible! Lilith understood this and that’s why she left! The irony is that Adam will have his hands full with the creature that “morphed” out of his rib. Eve is his deeply sublimated female presence– and often, the thorn in his side where the rib used to be! ANGELB She has the “last laugh.” Unless some better method comes along, Adam, (and “His Kind”) is merely the easiest way to “Her” impregnation. Is he a “Naif”–oblivious to his “truepurpose?”

ANGELA Good question. Along with this delightful “packagetobehold,” he also gets “Coquette,” guile, subterfuge and deviousnesswhatever cunning Eve must use to survive and redress her unfair legacy. ANGELB If they are adversaries, can Adam and Eve ever “play nice and don’t fight?” ANGELA They will enjoy some temporary truces. ...Won’t they? ======INTERMISSION===== NARRATOR: (Well, at least we have provoked the Angels enough, and piqued your curiosity during the first act). ..Here is Act 2. THE NEVEREND. Scene 1. ….. Let’s listen to Adam & Lilith, as they resume their longdistance discourse–still talking past each other!

ADAM YooHoo Lilith. Are you still out there? …[Hand over eyes – Like a visor – Peers far off – To the left and right]

LILITH I’m here. What can I do for you? ADAM I’ve been thinking. LIV …[“Waggles” hand–palm up– “Iffy”] … Sometimes, his brain, is above his belt! LILITH Really! What a refreshing surprise. AIV Adam, ”old sport,” ignore this “putdown.” It’s jealousy! …[To audience] (She suffers that “Envy” thing!).

ADAM I have to admit, all of your shenanigans have raised my consciousness a bit. LIV [SingSongs] Lil…ith! …I think you are being “set up.” [SingSongs] …. …A “Pat…sy!” LILITH How so? ADAM When I look at my female descendents, I would like for them to achieve and truly be whatever they want to be. LIV Lilith, go slow. You’re being “Suckered!” LILITH Wow! …[Hesitantly] I am proud of you. That’s a step in the right direction. ADAM But I still think my descendent sons should take the lead with their mates. LIV I knew it. I knew it! The “catch,”, the “hook,” whatever. …[Simulates “StageHook” around neckbeing pulled sideways–offstage]

LILITH Adam, that’s recidivism. You can’t have it both ways. You are still the same old insecure creature. ADAM Tell me why. LILITH Eve still does not have true equality with you. She is still forced to go along with your “Program.”

ADAM

Maybe, deep down, she likes that role? NARRATOR Likes? …That’s insane! …She hates that role! The whole scenario is backwards! Adam, you, in the biggest “EgoBinge” of all,…invented “God,” in your image –not the other way around. ADAM What a short “Fuse!” ...[Timidly –And with soft voice] ….Soooooh? NARRATOR So, along comes another creature, who does not have the same body parts as you. You are apparently incapable of according equality to anyone that does not mimic your anatomy! . ADAM Lilith, that Narrator is more “Feminist” than you! Smeone, anyone, let me out of this “squeeze!” …[Both hands to the sides of the head – in “Clamping” position Slowly pulling apart]

NARRATOR (Shall I ease up?) His “LightBulb” is still dim. He hears, but does not listen. Can he deal with,…. LILIITH Narrator, leave it to me. …Adam, you need the truth! do you want it “varnished” or “unvarnished?” AIV I am fearful ADAM Don’t spare me the truth. “Lay on!” LILITH Adam, your male descendents should be SOFB’s. ADAM I have often been called an SOB, … [Turns to Lilith – Quizzically] but, have never heard of an SOFB?

LILITH Adam, this world would be a better place, if all your male descendents were,,,,, Sons of Feminist Bitches!” ADAM Not on your life. … You turn me off! … [Throws both hands up in gesture of surrender Shoulders sag – Head droops] …I Give up! AIV Give up? …You big “Ninny” Don’t you dare! …Fight back! ….(Neuter, neuter, neuter) ADAM [Turns directly to AIV] What did you just say? What the hell does that mean? AIV …Neuter? … How about,… “Erectile Dysfunction?” ADAM Oh no! … Not That! …Anything but That!

NARRATOR: This is Scene 2. Lilith and I have beaten up on Adam (A bit much!) But, Eve, with her nurturing nature, “propping” him up, he always manages to bounce back. Now, we can relax and watch as the Angels begin questioning their own existence and sexuality. And speculating about the true meaning of Eden and the “Expulsion.” ANGELA Look at Adam and Lilith–always bickering with each other. How unappealing! Could some of their offspring,…. ANGELB …. Reject male/female intimacy and “Bonding,” in favor of… ANGELA ….Homosexuality? That presumes “Choice,” as well as “Biology,” plays a part! ANGELB

It depends on who’s opining. ANGELA Most “Shrinks,” “debunking” Freud, say it’s innate,… Genetic! ANGELB And “Fundamentalists,” preach it to be sinfulnot “Ordained. …An “Abomination” to “Lie” with a “likecreature!” ANGELA So, sex, itself, is not the only issue? ANGELB ….Just an element in the equation,… “Gratification versus Compatibility!” ANGELA And therefore? …[Gestures to come closer – To hear whisper] ANGELB …Some males and females, opting to seek a “SaferHaven” of one’s own kind! ANGELA But why? ANGELB Supposing a young male, keeps running up against fiercely “GiveNo Quarter” females? ANGELA Might he rationalize, since he cannot enjoy “peace” with these “Lilith Types”“Pairing Off” with a more gentle male, is preferable? ANGELB Or, a female, continually “cowed” by an overbearing “Adamant”–also, might choose a lifestyle with a more sensitive “Sister?” ANGELA Well, either way, it’s not like Measles,… you don’t get over it.

ANGELB Probably not. …[Shrugs shoulders] Then, it must follow that… ANGELA ….Both Adam and Lilith may, themselves, have…. ANGELB ….Fostered some “Heterosexual Dropouts!” NARRATOR Wow! (Here I ago ,again) What a presumption! Aren’t you both Out of your depth, … [Wags finger – In direction of Angels] …to make that judgement? ANGELB NO. We are just “Lofty” creatures. And ”Lofty” is,… as “Lofty” says!” … …[Grand sweeping gesture – Looking skyward] NARRATOR That’s quite an accolade. What made you, …[“Sniffs” with nose] … Such “Mavens?” ANGELB It comes with the “Territory.” We read the “OpEd” pages in the Post and the Times. NARRATOR “Braggarts!” … [Shakes one hand – Purses lips –Emits wooo!] …“Puleease,” spare the ”Puffery.” Smarter, you would get, from “Pogo!” ANGELA Angelb, It’s obvious our “friend” doesn’t think much of us. NARRATOR Admit it! ”Ego” is “Writ,” just as large upon you both–like Adam! ANGELB To hell with Pogo! We concede nothing! As emissaries of the “Boss,” …[Looks at other Angel] we are deserving! … [ Both nod affirmatively]

ANGELA …. [Whispers into ear of other Angel] But, just between us heavenly “Types,” dare we take a good look at ourselves?

Are you ready for this?

And I wonder,…

ANGELB Mirror, mirror, on the wall Holding us In its’ thrall Does it detect And reflect Darkly Our ”Warts and all?”

ANGELA Does it render Our “Gender” To be male Or female? Or a “MixedBlender!”

ANGELB This “SelfHonesty” is too Scary! So, how are we “Imaged?” Either as one, or the other? ... [Both Angels–size each other up–with the images in the mirror] ANGELA Well, if we were, one of each, then would we be constantly at oddslike cats and dogs, … [“Clawing” motion–with each hand] just like Adam and Lilith? ANGELB If you mean that if we were Genesis “products,” …[Faces audience] we would react, imperfectly, the same as they do. ANGELA They seem to have a sexbased need to squabble. Yes or no? ANGELB Maybe, if Lilith projects a softer and nonaggressive manner, does Adam respond with greater understanding?

ANGELA Possibly, but without a harsh “tellitlikeitis” demeanor, Lilith ceases to be Lilith And Eve has no “Ombudswoman!” ANGELB I’m thinking. Would we be better off as “Unisexists?” ANGELA You mean if we are both male and female are locked into one being? …[Two forefingers – Raised upwards – Slowly pushed together]

ANGELB Yes. A Hermaphrodite! ANGELA A what? ANGELB Like Hermes and Aphrodite, the two Greek gods combined into one. ANGELA What would that accomplish? ANGELB Selfreproduction. No one’s on top, no one’s on bottom. An equal “kick” for both, one and the same. No competition or “overlording.” ANGELA Wow, that is awesome. A “hermaphrodite” could “do” himself, herself, itself,… whatever. ANGELB That’s it! …[Winks eye – Emphasises Circle OK hand sign] ANGELA My oh my. What a heavenly “hoot.” Wouldn’t that spice up our existence! ANGELB

Then, neither of us, would ever need to engage an “Unlike” type! (Wouldn’t that – Become boring?). ….. [Yawns–stifles with back of hand] ANGELA Sounds good to me. (For a change of pace). ANGELB …. Back on track. Do you think that Adam and Eve can only survive by “conflicting?” ANGELA Well, each of them has something to prove. He’s compelled to invent new modalities, and she’s always playing “catchup” to be taken seriously. ANGELB If they had remained in the Garden of Eden where everything is provided, there is nothing to strive for. No predators to avoid. No food to find. Just sweet innocence! ANGELA “Sour indolence” is more like it. And without the “Expulsion,” all that is left to them is mindless “BabyMaking!” ANGELB … [Dances around – Doing the “Twist” – Elbows moving back and forward] … What fun! ANGELA Is it? No “Darwinian Selection.” …Just sameness in each new generation. Stifling! ….[AngelB slowly slows down “Twist” gyrations,…] ANGELB But everything in the Garden of Eden is so peaceful, …[“Twist” becomes laconic Slowmotion movement] ….So lazy!] ANGELA How droll! An endless status quo! What a terrible fate! Adam and Eve are lucky to have been expelled! In exile, they must strive! And that is the spark to conceive something better than themselves.

ANGELB So “Bubble, Bubble, toil and trouble” …[Stirs a big pot–with both hands on a paddle] … Is the way it is to be,…forever! ANGELA Outside of that biblical “Funny Farm,” ….Yessss !! ANGELB Does this malefemale disharmony occur by pure chance or does it have purpose? ANGELA God only knows. ANGELB Aaaaaaaaaah! Maybe,… “He” does! ANGELA Amen, “Brother,” or is it “Sister?” ANGELB Take your pick! It’s still,… Amen! NARRATOR: This is Scene 3. Dear Lilith – Her’s is a “GatsbyLike” world!’’ …[Raises hands – Simulates quotation marks – Holds position – Till end of quote] ….(“So, she beats on – against the current – borne back ceaselessly into the past”) Her inner voice expounds to the angels why Adam cannot free himself, from his dogmaand seeks whatever help they can render in her cause. LIV My dear angelic friends. [With a firsttime pleading demeanor] …Wherever on high you are or whatever your gender may be, my ears have been listening to your musings. And I sense you are the only ones that can deliver the message of Lilith. But the grand question is To whom, that can truly change the order of things? Where do I have recourse?

ANGELA You flatter us too much. We are only the loyal “Gofers” for the “Boss,” Who are we to say that he goofed in reposing so much of “Himself” in Adam? LIV Bear with me, please. Everyone needs heroes. And for Adam, the ultimate heroworship is directed toward the “Almighty.” ANGELB As it should be. LIV The problem is,… Adam rarely takes God to task (with some notable exceptions,… Jacob engages in a nightlong wrestling match, and Tevya, the milkman, simply argues for a better economic deal). ANGELA It’s unthinkable that the “Almighty” would be accountable to “His” very own creation. “He,” …[Bangs heel of one hand – Into palm of other hand] …is not disputable! LIV That is the greatest “Catch22” the world has ever known. According to Adam, if his “Maker” does accept challenge, “His” Divinity is lost. The pedestal crumbles and Adam is adrift with a fallen hero. But, without challenge, how can there be true balance for each of us? ANGELB Our “Boss” will never, ever be compromised! LIV It would appear so. Adam is “GodsGiven.” And Eve is to be forever happy as …[Holds hem of gown–bows head slightly–does a Curtsy] his “LadyIn Waiting!” ANGELA Hey! That’s not such a bad life.

LIV You know what? Adam, poor “Schnook,” is shackled And, it is a pity that he cannot emancipate himself. At least, your spirit is free! AIV …[To audience] (Poor “Schnook?” [Thumps his chest] My Adam, is a Saint!)

LIV I heard that! A Saint? Hardly! Our world is still “Tribal.” And your Adam is its’ “PosterBoy!” A “Sinner” who pretends freedom for Eve, yet begrudges equality. NARRATOR: This is Scene 4. (I don’t think Adam likes me – He is convinced that I have singled him out, in this “Farce”… Naturally, I will deny it). In rebuttal to Lilith’s plea, Adam declares,… “Take me as I am. And accept me as I am!” AIV Angels, it’s my turn. On behalf of Adam, I feel I can speak freely with you both, because we are brethren. Listening to your discourse with Lilith, I am troubled by her flippant attitude to him,…and our “Maker.” ANGELA Adam, first of all, we are not so “gendersure” of ourselves as you are. However, what do you glean from our exchange with Lilith? AIV She doesn’t understand. No matter how successful I might appear in the outside world – It “beats” me down! That “Ego” you ascribe to me, is my necessary “Armor!” When I retreat to my “Castle” each evening, the last thing I need, or want – Is another “Battleground!” I have had more than enough competition for that day! ANGELB Isn’t she also entitled to have, and pursue serious career aspirations? AIV Yes, if she so chooses. And then she will pay the “battered” price – The same as I! And she will want no additional “hastles”–at home!

ANGELA So, how can there be harmony between,….? AIV ….. “EqualA” types? Those roses have sharp thorns! As much as Adam tries to accommodate Lilith and her “EveSisterhood” –There is a limit, ….[Holds up hand–in StopSign Position] beyond which, he, simply, cannot go! ANGELB Tell us then dear “LoveChild” of your “Maker,” why not? ADAM (Inner voicebe still.) I will speak for myself! If I lose my “Primacy,” I am undone! …[Holds “Pistol” to temple – Pulls trigger] Castrated! AIV Then, how will she treasure, …[To audience] (a Eunuch?). NARRATOR: This is Scene 5. In Denoument, Lilith proclaims her intention never to give up the struggle for the betterment, of all “Eves!” (Boy – Is she ever tough. Excuse me,….Girl, is she ever tough!). LILITH [Now talking to the heavens]

Angels. And any other “superior” intelligence that may be out there,… I have to admit that, in some way, I envy Eve. It’s warm and comforting to be taken care of. But the price is too high and therefore, I must tread a solitary path. I could not remain in the Garden of Eden as a “secondclass citizen”. Where I fled to, was not some other ShangraLa. It is irrelevant where my abode is. My journey is infinite Seeking the “Sands of Promise”. ANGELA & ANGELB …[In unison] We are “stumped!” What is the “Sands of Promise?” LILITH It is the locus of my innermost soul. A “restingplace” that holds all unexplored possibilities. To Eve and each and every one of her descendent “Sisters” that will ever be, I bequeath a special gift that can surmount (its) companions The “LilithGene.” ANGELA But you, yourself, have argued that genes are “Egalitarian.”

ANGELB Are you not contradicting yourself? LILITH No! Although genes come in pairs–with total parity, one of a pair is always “turned off,” while the other gene …[Flips switch upward) … is “turned on.” The “LilithGene” passively “waits in the wings,” waiting to be called to action whenever “Eves” are sorely discriminated against. Then, dramatically, it erupts and blossoms in the guise of a Joanof–Arc, a Susan Anthony, a Betty Friedan, or someone else, yet unknownto lead anew, the assault on “Primacy!” Narrator: Finally! This is Scene 6. (Our Odyssey Is almost over). Worried by Lilith’s declaration of neverending challenges. Adam sleeps fitfully. In a strange dream, he encounters the Angels and pours out his anxiety about the “Voices” that haunt him. Lilith’s Inner Voice emerges from the recess of her mind and, deceptively, cloaks herself as “Sweet Voice.” Lilith stays in character (What else did you expect?) and becomes “Harsh Voice.” Are they “Good Fairies” or “Bad Witches?” The Angels take Adam to task, forcing a confrontation with his true self. Under siege from all sides, he struggles to protect his persona. ADAM Angels, I have this eerie sense that I am being stalked,… …[Rolls eyes–side to side–up and down – looks over shoulder] by a strange presence. ANGELB Stalked? We don’t see any lions or tigers or bears chasing you. ADAM I am not imagining this! ANGELA Have you tried to “shake” this “whatever”–simply by ignoring it? ADAM

… [Nods his head–side to side–holds out hands Palmside down–both hands shake] No matter how I try, it literally “dogs” my steps–and “speaks” to my ear.

ANGELB So,… why don’t you confront it? ADAM I am, …[Shivers] afraid, and confused. Because, it has both a “Sweet Voice,” and a “Harsh Voice!” SWEET VOICE [Softly through cupped hand] Adam,…Adam,……Sweetheart! ADAM There it is again. …[Hand cupped to earstraining to hear] I know it’s “Female!” What do you want? SWEET VOICE Only – To be with you. …[Fluttering eyelids–head tilts to sidehands clasped by side of chin] HARSH VOICE

“Sweet Voice,” you are too easy. “Toy: with him first. ADAM That’s ominous. Who is your friend? I pray,… that I am not a prey! HARSH VOICE …Sure you are! SWEET VOICE I just want to, …[Caresses his face with hand] love you. ADAM To kill me with kindness? …[Hands to foreheadto ward off threat] SWEET VOICE

Of course not! …[Brushes off Adam’s jacketreassuringly]

HARSH VOICE Oh, yes indeed (With or without kindness),… in due time! ADAM And if we should “cohabit?”share “Bed and Board?” SWEET VOICE I’ll cook for you. HARSH VOICE He can’t even,…”BupBupBupBup” …[Presses 4 keys on control] turn on a microwave! ADAM I like that! … [Silly childish grin] Can I eat anything I desire? SWEET VOICE Certainly, as long as it’s good for you, … [Admonishing] fatfree, saltfree! ADAM …. I know, I know,… healthy,.. …[Sticks tongue out in disdain] Probably tasteless. HARSH VOICE He’s “Domestically Challenged!” ADAM What are you insinuating? HARSH VOICE Don’t trust him in the kitchen – Absolutely not in the Supermarket! ... [Opens shopping bag– takes out bottle–looks at label–throws “Visual” darts at Adam] Adam, you’ve brought home “Ouzo.” I asked you to get “Orzo!” ADAM “Orzo,” “Ouzo” (All sounds the same to me).

HARSH VOICE “Orzo” Is, a ricelike pasta. This is Greek wine! Can’t you read? ADAM So, big deal! Maybe you can make “RiceWine” out of it. HARSH VOICE Undependable, is what you are! (My special “Bumbler”). SWEET VOICE What about the bedroom? He is my,… “Kingofthe Jungle’’–a “Tarzan!” HARSH VOICE Hmmph! …An “Underperformer” trying to “Overachieve!” ADAM Wait a minute. That’s “nnnot” nice! SWEET VOICE There there, Adam,… I make allowances. …[Cradles him in her arms] How do I love thee? ..How do I love thee? …. (Let me subtract the ways). ADAM Look, most of my energy goes into working,… but, when I retire,… SWEET VOICE Then we can be togetherfull time? …Every single day? … [Adam nods–yes, yes]

HARSH VOICE He’s a liar! But, then….. [Sneaks lookall around] aren’t we all! ADAM That would be the greatest–“Sugarplum!” (Remember, “three’s a crowd”) SWEET VOICE How sweet,… Just the two of us. HARSH VOICE

Uh Uh, … [Nods–no, no] Me too!

SWEET VOICE I will, …[Threads needle–sewing motion] …sew buttons on your shirt. HARSH VOICE “Sweet Voice,” Servitude is beneath you! (Send him to Walmart!) ADAM We can watch old movies on TV. SWEET VOICE Can we see a program thru,… from beginning to end? ADAM I like to ‘Surf!” … [Holds up TV remote–keeps “Clicking”’] HARSH VOICE …. Attentionspan of a “Peanut!” … [Flicks thumb away from forefinger – Mouths “popping” sound]

SWEET VOICE I promise not to give you directions in the car. ADAM (I’ll bet!) I don’t believe you! HARSH VOICE He never admits he’s lost! …[Each forefinger–points crossways] SWEET VOICE You know, you could use a new suit. ADAM …[Scans his own profile up and down–content with how he looks] I like my old

clothes! SWEET VOICE But, I’m so creative. Why cannot I remake you?

HARSH VOICE Any change would be improvement! ADAM Stop trying to “rearrange” me! SWEET VOICE I’m only thinking of what’s best for you. HARSH VOICE “ShapeUp” “SonnyBoy!” …[Uses hands to shape this “block of clay”–into a better form. Then stands back to admire her handiwork]

ADAM Goddamit (Clenched teeth) … Godammit!! (Shouting) …I don’t want what’s best for me,… …[Thumps his chest] I’m a Man! HARSH VOICE …[To audience] (”Turkey!”)

ADAM Angels, please! Make these “Voices” go away! ANGELA Sorry, Adam. You are “grownup!” You must solve your own problems. ADAM How can I possibly do that? ANGELB First, you must recognize who these “Voices” really are. Turn around! ADAM … [Looks over his shoulder–hesitantly] …Will I become a pillar of salt? ANGELA No, you are not “Lot’s Wife!”

ADAM …Oh my, “Sweet Voice,” it is youEve! …[Holds both hands over his side] (I should have known from the pain in,…..) SWEET VOICE Yes, Adam. And I would never, knowingly, inflict suffering upon you. HARSH VOICE I could, …[Snaps fingers] easily! And without regret! ADAM Who–or what, is behind that dark voice I hear? … [Strains to lean forward– squints eyes–peers far off]

SWEET VOICE Guess! ADAM I have this “sinking’ feeling that it must be,…… HARSH VOICE You have got it! It’s little old me,… Lilith ADAM My nightmare! Angels, please! …[Hands praying] Get rid of her! ANGELB We wish we could, but ,…. ADAM You mean I can’t have “Sweet Eve,” …without “Shrike Lilith?” ANGELA “Bittersweet,” it is! You are stuck with,…“bothforthe priceofone!” ADAM Ouch!!! I only want to “Have and Hold”that which I choose! HARSH VOICE

No way! Eve’s heart and my brain are “Siamese” ….[Rotates hands–as if tying knot–pulls strings tight] …Inseparable!

SWEET VOICE Lilith, aren’t we being too hard on Adam? HARSH VOICE I don’t think so. Let’s not succumb to,… too much “Eveishness” SWEET VOICE Could it be, that your part of me is,……. HARSH VOICE ……Strident? I’ll admit to that. But, here is our dilemma. How do we wish to be regarded by the opposite sex? …[Hand to heart] Emotional?...Or …[Hand to head] …Intellectual? SWEET VOICE …..Either, or? …I’d like to have it all! HARSH VOICE No! More likely, it’s emotional! Parents, teachers, preachers, colleagues – And seducers, the whole ”Male” lot of them, tend to perceive us–as irrational, “SexuallyManipulative” creatures! SWEET VOICE Lilith, would we want to be otherwise? We enjoy our sexuality. It allows us to “opportune” – To be coy – If need be, cloy! …[Sinuously–moves body as if engaging a pole–hips, shoulders, arms legs slowly rotating–different directions] It keeps them guessing. So, why are we,…….? HARSH VOICE …..Penalized for, having that crafty skill? Because, it promotes and sustains inequality. …A perpetual “Plague” ….. SWEET VOICE …..of prejudice?

HARSH VOICE Yes! ....And striving for “SexLess” parity, is as much a struggle with our innerself, as against the outside world! How can we be “UnBrainwashed?”

SWEET VOICE By knowing who speaks for me. … My “LilithPart,” or my ”EvePart?” HARSH VOICE Both! …. You are the gentle “GoodCop,” who hides our agenda, better than (my) “BadCop.” …. But our goal is,… tenaciously, the same! SWEET VOICE …[As if debating–nodding head slowly–side to side] ,,, My dear, brash “soul mate” Shhhhhh! …[Finger to mouth–in “Shhhh” pose] Do we really want them, ... [One hand over eyesin blindfold position–eye peering out from between split fingers] to unmask me? …To find me out? ANGELB Adam, see what you are up against? Do you have the stamina to keep defending your “Primacy?” It gets tougher and tougher! ADAM Hmmm? Without my “Endowment,” I am inane! Why be here in the first place? ANGELA Because You are more than just a “Pelvic Missionary!” (A kid in a forever open “CandyStore”) There’s a “Social Cost,” that….. ADAM ….I must pay? Like,….? ANGELB …….That not to be “Owning,” …But to be truly “Sharing!” ADAM O.K, I’m listening,… (Do I genuinely want to be that selfless?) ANGELA

It’s an endless struggle to rise above your own “Patrimony!”…Or else,… ADAM …Or else,….What? ANGELB Have a “goodoldtime!” Be a “Tomcat.” Inseminate, without consequence! “She” will do all the rest,.. carry, deliver and nurture!” ANGELA …Or better still, abandon the “Game” altogether. …[Dramatic pointing of one arm and hand to side–with a stamp of one foot] …Get thyself to a Monkery! ADAM This “Sharing” is hard, hard work! Is it possible,… or is it impossible? ….[Pause] NARRATOR …..And so We come to the end of our colloquy, and yet there is no closure. ANGELA Why is that so? We angels have tried our best to enlighten Adam. NARRATOR That may not be good enough. He may have heard, but did he listen? ANGELB We think so. NARRATOR But, you don’t really know! Whatever new awareness you have spawned in Adam, the results remain to be seen. And now you no longer have a mission. ANGELA What does that mean? ANGELB

Don’t look now, but I think we have just been “KissedOff!” We are “History!”

NARRATOR That’s too rough. Let’s call it “Retirement!” Remember that “Monopers?” deals direct. There are no middlemen. Just like religion, you also, have become superfluous! ANGELA That’s our reward? How unfair! Do we have a say in this? NARRATOR I am afraid not. All good things must come to an end. Just go, gracefully. ANGELA AngelB, do you think we may be able to freelance our talents elsewhere? ANGELB Well, there must some other venue out there, needing a messenger service ANGELA Not likely. The internet is wiping out the personal touch. ANGELB Then, how about packages? A product is just a message in a box! ANGELA I’ve got it! If we can’t do “spiritual” let’s do UPS or FedX! ANGELA & ANGELB Capital idea! Then it’s off we gooooooooo! [Both spread arms like wings and lift off]

NARRATOR [Shakes head sidetoside. Pulls out handkerchief and waves goodbye]

Farewell Cherubs. The “Fates” be with you!

And now, how are we to deal with the uncertainty of it all? Will Lilith ever overcome? Will Eve continue to pretend she is not really Lilith? Finally, for every Adam that ever was (or is),… Here he stands, poor soul Playing the exalted role He cannot away wean His “PeacockPreen” So, must pay The “Pipers” toll! Is there never to be an ending to this,…”Odd Coupling?” Stay tuned!

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