Whirligig-complete by Alan Grant

“The Whirligig of Time” (Timeless, TimeShort and the Watch) By: Alan Grant October, 2003

Act I The Encounter “TimeShort” Pleads his case – To exchange places with “Timeless” Who really – Rules the Roost?

Act II Enter Albere Soft time, Hard time, Real Time, Relative time So Confusing,… When will it ever stop? Five Players Timeless, TimeShort, The Watch, Albere,…& The Voice Offstage* (*The Voice Offstage – Also Narrates The Scenes)

However, in dress, manners or clime Our reality is but mime For we are fated To be dictated By “The Whirligig of Time”* *(”Whirligig” – Courtesy of Shakespeare, Tweflth Night) =========================================

Act I The Trade Scene #1

In any houseof worship praying,….

TIMESHORT Well God, why do you not answer my prayers (The ensemble whispers –“No response”) TIMESHORT I am a “regular” here in “Your House,” I am one of your “faithful.” (The ensemble whispers – “No response”) TIMESHORT You never give me a “sign” that you even hear me. (The ensemble whispers – “No response”) TIMESHORT Do something. Any signal will do. Make an apple fall upward.. Change the weather. How about a Blizzard in July? (The ensemble whispers – “No response”) TIMESHORT How do I know that you really exist, unless you , in some way, answer? (The ensemble whispers – “No response”) TIMESHORT I have tried calling you by all different kinds of names,… Lord, Allah, Father of the Son of God, Yahweh. ( The ensemble answers loudly – “There is no response!”)

TIMESHORT Are you silent because I mislabel you? How about Inneffable or Ha Shem? (The ensemble answers louder yet – “No, No No No response!”)

TIMESHORT I have been taught by my elders that you “are”, Have “always been.” And “Always will be.” So, if you are without “Beginning” or without “End,” then surely you have a name! (The ensemble shouts – “Nada, Nein, Nisht, Nyet…No responnse!”) TIMESHORT What, or who, are you? Amorphous, formless, timeless? Dammit, respond! TIMELESS Ah, you have said the magic word. Yes,… I am “Timeless!” “The Timeless” that has never been addressed properly before. I never reply to ‘JunkMail!’ TIMESHORT; My God! It is you! You do exist! You are real! TIMELESS Please! I am not your God. Though, “I am that I am,” I prefer ”Timeless.” TIMESHORT Then you will talk with me? TIMELESS Well, you seem to have overcome your failure to communicate Why not. I have not been that busy in the ‘now’ or in the ‘before’, or not likely in what comes after the ‘now’. Remember, I am Timeless! TIMESHORT If you are truly an allpowerful Timeless, there is somethng worthwhile you could do for me. TIMELESS That depends. I can’t make you rich, or impervious to pestilence, war or famine.

TIMESHORT That’s not what I want.

TIMELESS Well,…speakup! TIMESHORT Timeless, would you exchange places with me – for a while? TIMELESS How strange. Then I become TimeShort and you become Timeless. TIMESHORT That’s it Exactly! TIMELESS That’s interesting. But why should I stoop to….. TIMESHORT …agree to this swap? Because my ‘Time’ is so short! (Biblical had it at “Three score and ten”). And I would like to accomplish so many things. TIMELESS What IS the quid pro quo? TIMESHORT I don’t understand what you mean. TIMRLESS What’s in it for me? TIMESHORT Aaah. You become a better ‘whatever you are’ because you see things from my perspective. TIMELESS (Hmmph), I already know everything there is to know about you.

TIMESHORT With great respect, until you walk in my shoes, you do not understand why my Time is short. How little would it hurt for you to try?

TIMELESS In other words, you propose to enlighten me. (What a novel idea).

TIMESHORT … Humbly! (And terrified of making you mad!) Please forgive me. TIMELESS Humm, supposing I humor you and agree to this exchange? It cannot be for very long. (TimeShort is but a wisp of duration His time then exchanges for nothing – Finito! Not so with me!) TIMESHORT Every little bit of allotted “exchangetime” that you grant, is precious. Please indulge me. TIMELESS Remember also, in a blink of an eye, I can undo this exchange. TIMESHORT Understood But with one condition.

TIMELESS That’s ‘Nervy!’ (Give an inch – And be hounded for more. No one sets conditions for m)! You have my attention. But, Let’s hear it quickly! TIMESHORT When we effect this exchange, you will accept a token of our agreement. TIMELESS What is it? TIMESHORT It is my watch That I ask that you to wear. TIMELESS And, if I decide, at any point to call this whole deal off?

TIMESHORT That I know you can, But you must promise beforehand not to return the watch. TIMELESS O.K. (How strange. In all my “Timeless Tenure,” no one has ever set conditions.) TIMESHORT I am not trying to challenge your authority. Your gift – Was in creating me. I am simply returning a favor. TIMELESS …. (Hah! That’s arguable. Some of your bretheren pontificated – That is was the other way around – You invented Me! ‘Tis foolish for me to waste complicated words upon your pitiable head). Be that It may,..All I ever wanted, in return, was to have you accept me as Timeless. TIMESHORT Yes! …Now that I know who you are I do, I do! So please regard the watch as a bonus. What have you got to lose? TIMELESS That remains to be seen. However, there has to be a durationlimit on this switching of roles. (Notice that I have deftly avoided the usage of the word Time.’) TIMESHORT Well, since you managed to create the entire world in just seven duration periods, why not apply the same measure – And forebear me? TIMELESS Very well then, give me your watch. (This is not worth further debating with myself – I will humor this tiny ‘scoosh’ of existence) The deed is done! (Yet I wonder Am I being snookered?)

Scene #2 Timeless and TimeShort have changed positions. The watch has been transferred.

TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Wow! The vista from up here is grand, without boundary – Infinite!

TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) This watch on my wrist is fascinating. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) You like it?

TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) It piques my curiosity. It has a short and a long arm, one of which appears to move more slowly about its’ center. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Those are the hour and minute hands. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) What is that third arm that moves much faster “round and round?” TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) That is the second hand. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) But if you have given me this gift, at least I would expect that it be new and not used. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) For you – It is a new gift. ‘Second Hand’ is just descriptive. (For in truth, it has always been used. Sometimes, even deities don’t have a clue). TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Well, this watch looks like a clever toy. (A ‘Tzatski’) But what can possibly be its purpose?

TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) To tell time! That’s alien to you because you have been “Timeless.”

TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Will this watch have any effect on me? TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Just wait and see! It won’t take long. (What rude eyeopener).

Scene #3 “Timeless” awakens the next morning by the sound of the watchalarm,… TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) What in the world! My wrist keeps “dingdinging!” I don’t need this irritation. WATCH Good morning my friend, welcome to your new world. As TimeShort! TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) My world already “is!” What is different? (Since when do inanimate objects speak to me?) WATCH Aren’t you forgetting something, by that exchange You are now bounded by time.. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) I’m all ears. Please explain yourself. WATCH First of all, I am now in charge! TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Are you trying to belittle my omniescence?

WATCH NO. It is simply that I record all the ‘timeincrements’ within which you exist. (I am going enjoy seeing this ‘high and mighty’ brought down a

few pegs). TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) That sounds like you regard yourself as my equal. WATCH (You don’t know the half of it) No, I am sorry to let you in on this, but I have greater control over your existence. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Before I undo this charade, I will listen to your explanation, but not with endless patience. WATCH See, you are already acknowledging my superiority by Mentioning Patience’. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) (Thundering) Watch it, ‘Watch!’ …I do not like what I am hearing. WATCH Patience means ‘Taking Time’. And Time measures intervals Before what was, now what is, and what will be. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) I beg to differ with you. Only I know what the future will be! WATCH You are wrong! As long as I have the energy to turn these hands – IT IS I that makes the future become ‘Now’. TIMELESS (as TiMESHORT) As you wish. But since you are ‘mindless’, you cannot know what happens within each interval

WATCH O.K. I will concede you that. But you are not the ‘Timekeeper’. I am. (And if I am nothing more than a windup toy, why is this ‘knowitall’

wasting his time on me?”) TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Do you know how did this concept called ‘Time’ began? WATCH Well, if ‘Genesis’ really happened (which I doubt), then ‘In the beginning,,,’ infers that you, Timeless, initiated ‘Time’. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) I did? (Well, what do you know) Then Time and TimeShort must be inseparable. WATCH Agreed, but something is puzzling,… TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) ….What confuses you? WATCH Einstein claims that “Time” is personal relative to each person. How can that be? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) You obviously believe that “Time” is uniform for everyone – All the time. WATCH Well, Rudy Vallee thought so. His favorite song was, “My time is your time.” TMELESS (as TIMESHORT) That’s logical, isn’t it? (A “Simpleton” would see it that way). WATCH Well, isn’t “Time” the same for everyone – Everywhere?

TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Ah, only when two persons wearing watches are stationary. But if one person is stationary and the other person is moving rapidly, then (his)

“Watch Time” will be slower! WATCH Therefore,… TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) …The faster he travels, the slower he ages. WATCH Then, if he could travel at the speed of light,. For him, time would stand still. He would not age at all?

TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Brilliant deduction! WATCH And so, TimeShort’s complaint that “Time” is too short for him, is false? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) NO. Time for him does not slow down because he can only travel at Insignificantly small speeds. WATCH Give me an example. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) The fastest human on earth can run a hundred meters in about nine seconds. In that same brief span of time, light will travel more that one and onehalf million miles. WATCH That’s no big deal. My ‘Face’ can clock both these events. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) (Talk about ego – You are not perfect). There are times when you will go awry! WATCH How so? Time has a mandate to always “MarchOn!”

TIMELESS Not always! Just suppose, TimeShort could travel faster than the speed of light. …..your “face” would run backwards! WATCH …Meaning? (Are you suggesting that I am ‘TwoFaced’?) TIMELESS He would get wherever he was going – Before he left!

WATCH That might be a benefit. It would stop those angry glances at me – wiling away the countless hours sitting on planes, trains and cars. Would he, therefore, get regressively younger? TIMELESS Yes,… and ultimately he would retreat back to the womb – which would then be “deinseminated,” and so on. All living things – Would gradually end up Not having ever “Been!” WATCH …..This sounds like “ZenNothingness!” You are not “Here and Now” – nor I! TIMELESS I will not let this happen! (There would be nothing for me to “LordOver!” I’d be out of a job). WATCH Thank goodness! There would have been no one to gaze at my face. TIMELESS There are always new incarnations to your appearance – Clocks, digital readouts. Even artists like Salvador Dali (Maybe trying to suppress Time,. Has your face Distortedly draped over the edge of a table. WATCH …How would my “HandsgoRound” – If my “Face” has gone haywire?

Scene #4 Timeless and TimeShort Meet to Discuss (their) Experiences TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Well Timeless, how did it go? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) It was enlightening. I became totally subservient to those infernal moving hands on the watch!

TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Well, I am sure that watch kept you right on schedule. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Hah! It is nothing but “Catchup!” I was sorely tempted to smash the damn thing.. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) What good would that have done? Free you from all your deadlines? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) No, without that watch, I probably would have been totally inept. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) I take it then, this was not a relaxed adventure. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Are you kidding? That watch is a ruthless taskmaster. And to get things done within (its) intervals is “Slavery1” TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) You have my sympathy. And I am almost afraid to tell you about my “Timeless” experience. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Please, don’t’ rub it in. But, go ahead anyway. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS)

It was the most relaxed, undemanding period of my life. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) For instance? TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) I actually “SleptIn” to midmorning. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) The alarm clock prodded me awake at daylight.

TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) I had a leisurely breakfast and read the morning paper. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) I gulped down black coffee while logging on the internet. The New York Times is my “Home Page” and not only had today’s date, but every fifteen minutes, an updated timesensitive version popped up. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) I had a debate with myself whether to take a walk in the park or just relax with a good book. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) It was a chore just to get my car onto the downtown lanes of the expressway,. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Sitting on a park bench, I fed the pigeons with some breadcrumbs. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) The traffic piled up halfway downtown, and everyone kept honking and cursing. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Some beautiful billowy clouds slowly drifted Making clever patterns through the tree branches. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT)

I finally pulled into the parking garage next to my office building. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Should I make myself a salad for lunch? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) The parking attendant, made the wheels on my car “screech” as he careened around those narrow corners, in order to get back quickly for the next car. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) A nap after lunch would be nice. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Enough, enough! You made your point. Say no more. Let’s move on.

Scene #5 Reversing the Exchange,… TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) So where do we go from here? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) I hereby reclaim myself. You go back to what you were. And, good riddance! TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Not so fast! There are some things I like about playing at being “Timeless.” TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Like what? TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) No more headaches from trying all day to be “on time.” My blood pressure is lower, and I have stopped taking Zantac after meals. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Might you not become bored with all this indolence? TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS)

Possibly, later on. But for the moment, I revel in it! TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) I can appreciate that. But what have you accomplished in the past seven days? TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Virtually nothing! Isn’t that sinful? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) That word you have just used, is my property! My “devilish” little secret is barely coming to light. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) What secret? I have no idea about what you mean. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Well, I might as well enlighten you. The “cat” is almost completely out of the bag anyway. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) ….Am mystified! What is,…..? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) It’s like this. Being “Timeless” is only part of my identity. I have a surrogate! TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) (Careful now).… Oh? What could that be? (Sharing power is not in character). TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) The “Watch” is my heavenly (...Maybe otherwise) alter ego! TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) By Jove! (Or is it Lucifer?) ….Then your alter ego is not my “friend?” TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) There, you almost have it. The real “Me” has foisted “Time” upon you. As Your “TimeGiver,” I have parsed out every second of your existence. You

cannot ever escape (its) clutches. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Don’t I have choices? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) TimeShort, you are “owned” by that watch – “Crown, Spring and Balance Wheel!” TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) But when I “gifted” my watch to you, why did you pretend not to know anything about it? TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) Why should I give away my secrets willingly? TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) Then you and the watch have been “in cahoots” all along.. TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) It is a covert partnership. TIMESHORT (as TIMELESS) (A “Satanic” one,…) You have deceived me! TIMELESS (as TIMESHORT) All along! And now, of this moment, we revert to our prior selves! (TimeShort will not remember that he had an encounter with “Timeless,” or that He had a temporary reprieve from the tyranny of “Time!”. The watch, as before, is still affixed to his wrist).

Scene #6 The Exchange Has Been Reversed…And Now The WATCH Dialogues With TIMELESS. WATCH Can I say something? TIMELESS No. Just keep on ticking.

WATCH But aren’t I important to you? TIMELESS Only as a convenient modus I chose to assert my will. WATCH Suppose my “Hands” stop moving? What happens?

TIMELESS Nothing. You are a “throwaway.” – expendable! There are billions of “Timexes” and “Rolexes” out there and available to take your place. WATCH But throughout the ages, I have been so reliable. TIMELESS With a major shortcoming. “Physical Time” you indicate well, but “Psychological Time” is beyond your understanding. WATCH Explain please. TIMELESS “PsychTime” runs faster or slower and is a false indicator! WATCH But TimeShort always looks at my “Face” in order to gauge “Time.” TIMELESS That he does. But if, at that moment he is enjoying “Pleasure,” your “hands” Seem to have moved too fast, misleading him! WATCH And, conversely, if he is suffering “Pain,” my “hands” appear to move too slowly, also misleading him?

TIMELESS Yes, “Pleasure” wants the “Hands” to slow down – A longer tenure of “Good Times.” And “Pain” wants the “Hands” to speedup – To be quickly over and done with “Bad Things.” WATCH …..For example…? TIMELESS …..”Sitting next to a nice girl for two hours – Seems like two minutes. …..”Sitting on a hot stove for two minutes – Seems like two hours! …..Now that’s real “Relativity!” WATCH So TimeShort, invariably, dislikes what he sees on my “Face?” TIMELESS Yes! And there are other scenarios wherein, he either wants to expend less time – Or beg for more time! WATCH ……For instance,…. TIMELESS In a race, for fame or riches, or whatever, the runner always wishes he could have completed the course – In less time! WATCH …..And the opposite,…? TIMELESS As technology advances, almost all tasks are done With less expenditures of time! “TimeShort” is deprived of more time to adequately think thru problems and to respond properly. WATCH Hey, I am not to blame for this – I just mark the intervals. TIMELESS

…”Yours,” is rarely a “HappyFace.” You are “TimeShort’s” personal “Albatross!” WATCH Why does not “TimeShort” simply ignore me? TIMELESS He may want to, but he can’t. His existence demands “Watching the Watch!” WATCH What a devastating “Truth!” That would explain why I am here in the first place? TIMELESS “Watch,” you and your precursors, and your successors, are “My” foot soldiers, in the “Timeless” control of “TimeShort!” You and he are inseparable – Bonded at the wrist! WATCH Well, what about your promise to keep me when “TimeShort” went back to his original existence? TIMELESS Promises are, more often then not, unkept. How often have you heard the term, “You Promised!” WATCH Well, aren’t you supposed to try? TIMELESS A “Promise” is a “Futures Contract” – An option you choose to execute or abandon. And more often than not, these options lapse. (And guess what – They only last for a limited period of time). WATCH But you gave your word! TIMELESS Be realistic! “TimeShorts” rarely keep them. Parents, lovers, businesses,

and especially politicians and governments don’t keep them. Why should “I?” WATCH Is that honorable? TIMELESS Look, the entire universe is my ballpark. I make (and can change) all the rules. I own the bats, the balls and all the players,….. And guess who the “Umpire” is? WATCH “Umpire?” Umpire over what?

TIMELESS My “Timeless” Domain! “TimeShort” has only a fleeting presence. And you, my little friend, without exception, are simply passed on to his successor “kin.” Over and over To “Bedevil” each new offspring! WATCH I accept that role. But, hear this! This simple “Contraption” that I am – Has “Life!” Not empowered by you – But by “TimeShort.” He imparts my energy – By winding me up! TIMELESS So, he does But I am the “Master Puppeteer!” WATCH …. (I doubt that!) And for your largesse – I must only be a grateful “Pinnochio?” TIMELESS That’s it! And your “Face” must never lie! Or else, your nose will be “bentoutofshape!” WATCH It seems,…. All you want is a passive “Dummy” as your “Sidekick!” TIMELESS

Right! I’m the one –Who pulls all the levers! WATCH Wrong! ….Hasn’t it dawned on you that we are in this together? Just as much as I am “bonded” to “TimeShort’s” wrist – Without me, you are no better than the “Wizard of Oz!” TIMELESS ….I,.?? The “BeAll” and “EndAll?”

WATCH … “Timeless,” It is a colossal “Joke!” You, me and “TimeShort” – What an “Unholy Trio!” We can never be free Of each other! (VOS – Voice Offstage – Heard through megaphone) Seconds Here – Seconds There Seconds Everywhere ”Now” reveals but the Past And the Future does not last Thus Time is naught – But thin air! ACT II Paradoxa Scene 1. Zeno Emergent ZENO Conflict – Be deservedly, upon all of you. WATCH …What? ….Who’s that? …Who the hell are you? ZENO Makes no difference WATCH I want to know

ZENO You want? …Demanding seems to be your ‘Shtick’ WATCH Well, whoever you are,…. ZENO Yeeesss? WATCH Who appointed you? ZENO You don’t understand it yet WATCH Big Deal. When will,.. ZENO Patience! ..What so little of Which you have WATCH I don’t think I like you ZENO I can deal with that Patience Enlightenment to follow WATCH I can hardly wait ZENO See – You have just admitted that you also – Are in charge of,… WATCH … Nothing? ZENO Aaaah!

WATCH Baloney! …I am the power behind the throne ZENO Really !! ..Then why are you listening to me? WATCH I just happen to have a break between,… ZENO I see A spare moment WATCH OK,… So what the hell ZENO You hypocrite! …You claim to parse out intervals. But, at this moment – You are – Wasting one. WATCH Now I am confused. What are you… ZENO Trying to tell you? WATCH Hmmmh, …..Yeah. ZENO Yeah is maybe. I want a definite Yes! WATCH All right, damn you,….. Yesss! ZENO How nice. That’s better WATCH Stop stalling. I’m waiting

ZENO All your adherents – Are TimeJunkies – Looking at you from the outside WATCH So? ZENO Inside, you are no more than a mumbojumbo – Of nolife parts WATCH So what? Everything has ‘innards’ – Guts Even you (whoever you are) ZENO No argument there WATCH I am not composed – Of some junkshop parts ZENO Of course not. But when all those ‘inanimates’ were assembled WATCH What ‘Inanimates’? ZENO Oh, you know very well,…. Crown, Spring flywheel, stem WATCH And then? ZENO Presto! These parts – Started to move –All on their own. WATCH More, more,… ZENO They gave you ‘Life’,… Your Talking Face. WATCH

I, deservedly, accept that ZENO How kind of you. …But something was left out. WATCH I don’t think so – I have everything I want – Everything I need. ZENO Not so.

WATCH So, what’s missing? ZENO Humility,… Forbearance,… patience WATCH Hmph! Exactly what I do not need. So, leave me alone – Stop wasting my time ZENO Sorry – No can do. If you really care who you really are…. WATCH …Nothing would change. I have a mission – Purpose. ZENO Wrong! …Insight – Might just creep into your consciousness. WATCH I already know who I am ZENO Smug. …You could grow up and be more understanding and compassionate – To those harried souls,… WATCH …Who gaze upon my face?

ZENO Yes! WATCH Why should I even, a bit, be that generous ZENO Because someday – Your time will Run out

WATCH Sounds like you are trying to intimidate me. ZENO Perish the thought …(Oh, I am,…I am) WATCH Who are you? Some type of enforcer? ZENO No, just an observer. …Trying to make you understand. Whatever ill may befall you – You will have done to yourself.

Scene 2. The Butterfly Watch (I am unsettled. What if the timeintervals I stingily parse out – become shorter and shorter?) ZENO I heard you WATCH How could you? I was only thinking to myself. ZENO No matter – Spoken language is not the only medium. I ‘Hear’ the mute.

Watch Then tell me – What am I thinking about – This very instant? ZENO I don’t repeat obscenities. WATCH If I just thought something bad about you – You deserve it. You have intruded into my mind. You have violated me! That’s dishonest.

ZENO Oh, come, come now. You are the biggest thief of someone else’s time – tha t ever walked. WATCH (Mumble, Mumble) I’m afraid to ask. What DO you want? ZENO I’m here to save you. WATCH From what? … I have it pretty good ZENO …And without my help – It will not last WATCH How so? ZENO You, yourself thought about it – A short while ago WATCH You mean – Shorter and shorter intervals? ZENO Exactly

WATCH So – How can you save me? ZENO …From yourself? WATCH Please. ZENO Because – I am ZENO!

WATCH Zeno?...Zeno who? ZENO Zeno – The Paradoxa! WATCH Hmmph! .. Never heard of him – It – Whatever. ..What’s his gig? ZENO He Saves you. (Conserves is a better word) WATCH (I’ve heard of some religious icons who profess that) … How? ZENO Are you ready for this? WATCH Sure, sure ZENO No, this is serious. I really mean it. WATCH OK. ..I’m totally sure! How? … Tell me how.

ZENO Listen carefully….By preventing you from finishing anything! WATCH And that’s good? ZENO Absolutely! WATCH Ridiculous. That’s utter nonsense

ZENO You think so. WATCH I throw you own words back at you ….Absolutely! ZENO Look – Hostility only prevents you from concentrating WATCH OK, OK,… I am no longer hostile ZENO I doubt that,… but here goes WATCH I’m all ‘Hands’ ZENO Very funny! (if only hands could listen) My Paradoxa forbids completion of any task – Any race. WATCH Then why do the task? Why run the race? ZENO It’s an addiction – Compulsion …They look at your ‘Puss” – And are

hooked WATCH So, that’s their problem ZENO Uh, Uh,…. It’s yours too! WATCH I’m just an innocent monitor of little parcels – Of seconds

ZENO No, you are part and parcel – of the race. WATCH All right,,, Suppose I do, in your words, “Run the race” ZENO Admission That’s a good step WATCH And,… ZENO Just like your ‘FaceGazers’ You are destined never to complete – Reach the finish line WATCH Why not? ZENO Because, then – YOU also, would be finished. Time would cease WATCH Now – I am confused ZENO It’s so simple. Within any allotted timeperiod You can only get halfway to any goal.

WATCH And then,… Halfway, and halfway, over and over again? ZENO You got it! …That’s my Paradoxa WATCH I don’t buy it. ZENO Whether you do or don’t – Is irrelevant. WATCH Then, I have no meaning, or purpose at all? ZENO For the moment, yes! But, it is very shortlived. WATCH If I can’t figure you out – How in the world would I Know,… ZENO When your time is up? WATCH Explain, please. ZENO When all those ‘FaceGazers’ Suddenly ignore you WATCH And then? ZENO You will have become – Brief as a Butterfly WATCH That’s it? That’s all I am worth?

ZENO While you last – You are very powerful. WATCH This is beyond me ZENO Have you ever heard of ‘Chaos; theory? WATCH No, but I am sure you will burden me with it. ZENO …Very, very potent. If a butterfly flaps its wings in Peking – You can feel the breeze somewhere else – No matter how far away,. WATCH …And that’s the rationale – For my losing my power ZENO Oh yes. …Because you, just like the butterfly – Will run out of ‘Duration’ WATCH A what? …Heavyduty nonsense is,… Comparing me to a butterfly? ZENO That’s it! WATCH And what might I call this creature? ZENO Take you pick. ….I like Paradoxa – AGod of ‘NeverEnd’ WATCH Sounds like code – For failure ZENO Hmmm, in a sense – Incompletion

WATCH What pleasure can one have – In that? ZENO Life is a Journey – Not an End

WATCH There’s no fun in that

Sure there is.

ZENO Savor the moment

WATCH You are just trying to put me out of business ZENO Love to – Love to! WATCH Then I would become finite. …Bah! ZENO So be it – Amen!

Act III Enter Albere Scene #1 The telephone rings – And rings – And rings TIMESHORT Hello, Who is this? ALBERE It’s Albere TIMESHORT Who? …..And you’re selling?

ALBERE Nothing! …..It’s your old friend,….Albere. TIMESHORT I’m sorry, What did you same your name….? ALBERE …Think back,…. Albere! …When we were kids, you used to call me “Crazy Albert”

TIMESHORT (“Crazy Albert” …Not Bill Cosby’s friend,?) .You mean…? Oh M’ Gosh – It is my weird buddy from grade school. ALBERE ….It’s me! TIMESHORT Well, I’ll be damned! ALBERE (You – Probably are!) TIMESHORT ….With the same old, wild “WhatIf” stories?

ALBERE Right you are,… only now, people actually listen to me! TIMESHORT Well, now that you have found me What can I do for you? ALBERE It’s the other way around,…. You always stood up for me against the bigger kids. I am, belatedly, repaying a favor. TIMESHORT …Very nice of you. But how would you even know What I might need, or

want? Have you become – Some kind of “Guru?” ALBERE ….….You might say,…. Ask me Anything you like. TIMESHORT Are you privy to what my thoughts are? ALBERE Well, I do have this “ESP” thing Makes me aware of what’s in you mind Your dialogue with “You know who.” TIMESHORT …. How could you have…..? AlBERE Never you mind! You Suffer from,…. “WatchTyranny!” It’s a chronic disease of the wrist, the wall, the desk, the dashboard,……. (“Pandemic” Describes it well!”). TIMESHORT You’re too much! … I have to live with it The best I can. ALBERE But, what a waste! ….You Are on a “GreedyTime” treadmill! (VOS – Singing) It ain’t necessarily so. It ain’t necessarily so. The time we have spent If HeavenSent Would be much sweeter – And slow. We ain’t necessarily told Time is impossible to hold If we could but stall The clock on the wall We would never ever grow old! It ain’t necess,…Ain’t necess….Ain’t necess…Ain’t necessarily so!

TIMESHORT Well,…(For “shame!” ). Why – Do I pay attention To a ”Shaman?” ALBERE …..Because, your curiousity Gets the better of disbelief! TIMESHORT We shall see. …(When were you Ever serious?). …O.K “Doctor” – How do you propose to “cure” my disease? …With, a jab of a “magic” needle? ALBERE ….Noooo,…A “shot” – Won’t do it! Scene #2 “HardTime” and “SoftTime” ALBERE My old friend,…. In your world, everything must be done – Quicker and quicker! (And unhappier – And unhappier) …Did you know that, time can be made – To stand still – By riding on a beam of light! … Time would freeze! TIMESHORT No one can do that! (IllogicalImpracticalImpossible!) …But, wait a minute! Years ago, didn’t you keep bragging about a namesake relative – Who proclaimed that very same thing? ALBERE That’s true! The whole world paid homage to his genius – As the “Grand Master of,… “HardTime.” …Yet, he had it wrong – When, it came to understanding “SoftTime!” TIMESHORT “SoftTime” – “HardTime”– Bah! (You love – Making up words) …So, why rehash it now? … Almost a hundred years later. ALBERE Ahah! Because, supposing I could “go one better” To make time go slower? …Without riding that light beam?

TIMESHORT (Well, at least No “SaddleSores!”). .. Go ahead. (Some doctors are “Quacks!”). I’m all ears! ALBERE Don’t “knock” it – Before you hear me out! You are constantly misled by Feelings of faster time when you are happy – Or slowertime when you are sad.

TIMESHORT (I hear “Pot” – Slows everything down!). …Is there any other way? ALBERE Yes! But, not in the way you think. It’s a “mutualswap.” All that is “Good” – Slows Time down. …. And, Time slows down – So that “Good” – May savor itself! TIMESHORT Whoa! That is “Heavy!” …I don’t follow. ALBERE Uh Huh! …Very few people do! And, it’s not found in a physics formula.

Scene #3 My Namesake – The “Emperor” ALBERE You see, my relative had the misfortune to become very famous. And because, no one really understood what E=mc2 meant ,….everyone accepted how brilliant and erudite he was. He even wrote a “Ditty”,…… (VOS) Here’s to three people named “Stein” “Gert, Epp and Ein” Gertrude writes Blank Verse Jacob’s sculptures are worse And nobody – Understands “Ein!”

TIMESHORT They were afraid to admit To ignorance. (Didn’t have a clue) …..So, they pretended…. ALBERE And for him All that “HeroWorship” Took away the incentive – To delve further into – Making Time slow down. …He got “captured” by his own “Persona!”

TIMESHORT His what? ALBERE …Persona A Theatrical Mask. He grew disheveled white hair, never wore socks. Appeared so kindly and distracted – an emperor with clothes (except for the missing socks). TIMESHORT Where are you going – With all this? ALBERE …..Indulge me. He kept saying that light moved so very fast – The ultimate speed. Nor could it ever – Slow down! …And some of his learned followers, confused things more Speculating, that someone could exceed that limit. ….In other words ”Time Travel!” (VOS) What if Light speed so fast Were to be surpassed Then universal Timereversal Would consign us– To the past! TIMESHORT ….Then you would get where you were going – Before you left. …Preposterous! Please, (Give me a break!) …. That’s “Alicein Wonderland” stuff.

ALBERE Sorry, no can do,… it’s my inner voice – And when the muse is upon me,…..Lookout! TIMESHORT … Well, your inner voice Contradicts your namesake.

ALBERE Yes, it does! My relative knew, what he preached – was not the whole story! But so much belief had been invested,…. His emperor’s clothes fit so well! TIMESHORT Albere, what are you posing? How does this affect me? ALBERE ……Patience! You will soon see. I am smarter than my relative. Just like everything else in the world I know that light must slow down! Everything becomes less. Your car runs out of gas. Water evaporates out of your glass. On and on and on! It’s called “Entropy.” …..Again, hear my muse,….. (VOS) For however slight And out of sight Beyond the pale Of human scale Gravity slows light TIMESHORT Big Deal! Maybe gravity is, or is not, “Gravitas!” Why should I challenge – The order of things? ALBERE Why not! … You can “Will” “Change” To happen.

TIMESHORT (Those damn “Windmills?”). Albere, show me! (And stop “Tilting”).

Scene #4

The Search for Mr “Z”

ALBERE Do you sincerely want to be free? …..Of that infernal timekeeper? The “Watch!” TIMESHORT Hah! What do you think? ALBERE Then, let me introduce you to a “Seer” “Mr. Z.” TIMESHORT Who appointed him? And where is he? ALBERE It is not a “Him” … It’s a concept A new way of……looking at oneself. TIMESHORT ….This sounds like a “pitch.” (He must want something!) … I am constantly besieged by schemes That will hold back time,… To be younger, thinner, richer. And, to help me remember what it was like – To be more potent! ALBERE Oh? …Give me a “forinstance!” TIMESHORT Yeah! Would you believe, there is a new memory drug on the market – Called “Vinkaloba.” ALBERE “Vinkaloba?” ….Never heard of it. What does it do? TIMESHORT It helps you find your Viagra!

ALBERE Very funny! (I bet He made this up!). Our “Mr. Z” does not do – “Mundane!” TIMESHORT Now, that’s a “leap!” (When did he become – Our “Mr. Z?”). ALBERE Relax! … Let it germinate. TIMESHORT ….What else? (Is being foisted on,…). ALBERE ……Just listen!

(VOS) Time does pretend It has no end While our race Enjoys its’ grace Twilight does descend. TIMESHORT But that’s contrary to “Timeless.” …Will “He” Be angered? ALBERE “Timeless” is just like us A commodity. …With the same ending – To be used up! TIMESHORT With “His” boundless selfesteem “He” won’t like that! ALBERE It’s “His” problem – Not ours ! ( We’ll be long gone – When it happens). TIMESHORT

…Are you sure? ALBERE Positive! There is a sweeter path. “Mr. Z” tries to harmonize you – With the “Now!” TIMESHORT ... Wow! Then, there are no “Ladders” to struggle upward?

ALBERE Yes – There are. But the slopes – Are more gentle. (VOS) If you “Gambol” – Less And do not press You can succeed At slower speed With little or no stress ……See! Why not emulate Woody Allen? ….He is only “Looking, for a low mountain to climb.” TIMESHORT …But, how can I exist and survive – Without an “allout” effort? ALBERE ….By “Priortizing!” – Shrinking the “Need” For ‘Things and Circumstances.” TIMESHORT ….Things, I could do – Maybe. (I might get along without a new suit) – Circumstances, Impossible! I am defined by what I do! (…When I meet someone at a party – They never ask what I am – Only what I do). …Your “Mr. Z” does sound like a Zen Buddhist….. ALBERE …..Of sorts. ,…. A student and teacher of,…. “DiminishingSelf!” (It’s “ Entropy” – In another guise)

TIMESHORT Well, this Zen (whatever it may be) makes me wary. I don’t want to achieve – Complete “Nothingness?” ….And disappear into “Oblivia?” ….. ALBERE Not to worry! First of all – You won’t. And, secondly, no matter how you might try –You couldn’t! “Mr. Z” allows for only Partial “Selflessness!”.

Scene #5

Becoming “Ammmmmmmmmmmm!”

TIMESHORT You have “lost” me. I am still in the “dark” – On all this,… It doesn’t make sense! ALBERE Yes it does! …..If, and when, light does slow down So does Time! TIMESHORT That’s all? That is all There is to it? ALBERE ….In a physical sense – Yes, that’s it! …We accept that “Time” is, the measure of allthings,…. And, because, light travels Almost instantaneously Then, no time can elapse – When Time Is riding that beam of light! Ergo, Light is the ultimate “TimeKeeper!” … .…LIGHT IS TIME! TIMESHORT …..Mush! …Far too clever For my wits! Why not, find me a “Gravity Magnet” – And I will suck some speed out of light! That’s simple enough (Isn’t that what happens, inside a “Black Hole?). …. And “Time” will, therefore Slow down! ALBERE …Now, you are being “flip!” It’s not a mechanical solution (found at Home Depot). Acquiring “SoftTime” Is a process – Searched for –Within yourself !

(VOS) Past a future hill Light will stand still And on that stage We will not age …. But – Not until!

TIMESHORT …In other words, it is my mind, that is capable of slowing time down, just enough – So that, I can enjoy it’s benefits. ….But, not too much – Or I am finished! ALBERE Aaah! …There you have it. …It’s a tightrope – A precarious balancing act. TIMESHORT And, what of you? (My personal “Lone Ranger”) …. Riding to the rescue. ALBERE I’m already here – Just, your friendly, existential “Trinity!” (Not a religious one Mind you) ….Albere, a Muse, and “Mr. Z” – All rolled into one! …All here to help you. TIMESHORT You say, if only I subscribe to,… (This foolishness). …All my problems will be solved? ALBERE ……Most of them,….The path is open For you to take . It’s your choice. The key, is to recognize – You, no longer, have to – Just “Do!” TIMESHORT My whole life has been spent “Doing!” And it, started very young Before Kindergarten. ALBERE

…..You are catching on. Children are taught, early on, to be good “Do Be’s” A nice “BehaviourMix”. But, as time goes by (There’s that ugly “TimeWord” again) – There is less and less “Being” – And more “Doing!” … So we end up, as adults, “Cloning” generations and generations of shorter and shorter, “TimeAllotted” “TimeShorts!” ……Depressing! TIMESHORT Then, to escape this trap, I am to forgo what ( I think),…. has always been – Expected of me. What is left? ALBERE “Bingo!” …”Being!”…”Being!” ….With luck You will surpass Hamlet’s “To be,…” TIMESHORT Hold on!. You conveniently left out,… “Or not to be.” Where is his free choice? ALBERE Hamlet had it wrong! Correct the last half of that quotation to,.. ”And not to be.” Then, you become totally “Being,” and choice is irrelevant. You evolve into, a sort of – “Am!” TIMESHORT …..That sounds like a onenote mantra,… “Ammmmmmmmmmmmmm.” ALBERE I like that! Let’s hear it again. TIMESHORT ….”Ammmmmmmmmmmm…..?”

(VOS) (Chimes in with the same mantra – Getting louder an louder) Ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! “Amm a Pola – My pretty little poppy.” ALBERE

(…My “ChildeWithin”). Hey, cut that out! (…He never grows up). Pay no attention to,… TIMESHORT .Wait,…..I like him! ..I envy his,….. ALBERE ……Sillliness. ….Oh well.

TIMESHORT Seriously, though If “Timeless” Can get away with,…….”I am, that I am,” ……. ALBERE ……Yessss? TIMESHORT Then, when I meet someone Why can’t I greet that person with,….”How am, you am?” …Instead of – “How do you do?” ALBERE It’s not without risk! Most everyone – Are strictly “Doers!” And you will be – The rare “BeOddball.” It’s a lonely path. Can you deal with that? TIMESHORT I can try! ……And my reward will be……? ALBERE ……“Timeless” – Becomes no more! And the “Watch” will have never existed. You are FREE! (VOS) “I feel pretty,…I feel pretty…I am “Born Free”…… ALBERE ….Will you shut up? …Be done! (VOS)

Oh, Pooh! TIMESHORT Goodbye Albere. (Farce and all!). And Thank you! What If I need a “boostershot?” ALBERE Be you own “Booster!” “WatchTyranny” – Will never completely disappear! As best you can Try to manage, and, wherever possible, minimize the “Doing!” …..Ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,……. [Pickup song below]

(Reprise Onstage – Ensemble Singing) Life is but a Dream Ya dada dadada dada (Clap) No matter how real it may seem Ya dada dadada dada (Point at,...) TIMESHORT You mean to tell me – That’s all there is?

Life is but a Dream Ya dada dadada dada (Clap) And it’s not all peaches and cream Ya dada dadada dada (Point at,…)

TIMESHORT So What the Hell – Is it?

Life is but a passing Dream Hey – Hey!

Life is but a passing Dream! Oh Yeaah! =========================FINIS===================