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Table of contents Extravaganza ...................................................... 2 Sanity check ...................................................... 4 2010 gowns: The perfect dress on a budget.............. 8 Perfect match: Get colors under control ................ 12 Trends to marry by.............................................. 13 The right way to do wine .................................... 14 Honeymoon secrets ............................................ 15 Our wedding, our way ........................................ 16 The Southern Illinoisan (USPS 258-980) is published daily for $178 per year at 710 N. Illinois Ave., Carbondale, IL 62901. The Southern Illinoisan is owned by Lee Enterprises, Inc. of Davenport, Iowa.
• Dennis M. DeRossett, publisher dennis.derossett@thesouthern.com
• To subscribe: Call 618-351-5000 from Carbondale, Murphysboro and DeSoto; 618-997-3356, option 2 from Williamson County; or 800-228-0429, option 2, between 6 a.m. and 5 p.m. weekdays, 7 a.m. to 11 a.m. Saturday and Sunday.
A countdown to the big day ................................ 18
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(618) 565-1500 • www.southernillinoisevents.com The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
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CELEBRATE NEW BEGINNINGS
xtravaganza a one-stop-shop
for brides-to-be
BY CHRISTI MATHIS UNIVERSITY COMMUNICATIONS
f you’re planning a wedding or just looking for a fun way to spend the afternoon, be sure to check out the 19th annual Bridal Extravaganza at Southern Illinois University Carbondale’s Student Center on Sunday, Jan. 24. The event features vendors from all over Southern Illinois and surrounding states offering answers to all of your wedding questions and dilemmas. Participating wedding professionals include videographers, photographers, wedding planners, florists, caterers and disc jockeys. You’ll also find specialty booths focusing on flower preservation, fine china, wedding cakes, reception planning and much more. The vendor exhibits open at noon. The highlight of the day is the fashion show set for 3 p.m. Those attending will see all of the latest styles and trends in wedding attire, including bridal gowns, tuxedos and mother-of-the-bride and bridesmaid apparel. Admission to the 2010 Bridal Extravaganza is $3 per person with no pre-registration or advance ticket
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TOM BARKER / THE SOUTHERN
Brittany Bencie, model for A Special Occasion in West Frankfort, shows off a wedding gown in a Student Center ballroom during the Bridal Extravaganza show last year.
purchase required. For more information, call Student Center Special Programs and Center Events at 618-453-1142 or look online at www.siucstudentcenter.org. If you’re a vendor who would like to register or get more information about being part of the show, contact the SIUC Division of Continuing Education at 618-536-7751.
DETAILS What: 19th annual Bridal Extravaganza When: Noon to 4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 24 Where: SIUC Student Center Ballrooms, Carbondale Admission: $3 What else: Bridal fashion show at 3 p.m.
Exquisite Design from Altar to the First Dance • Full Service Catering and Floral Decor • Wedding Consultation • Restaurant available for Bridal Showers • Now scheduling 2010 and 2011 dates The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
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Wedding planning means a lot of tasks and a lot of stress. But it doesn’t mean you’re going to go crazy. Here’s some advice to help you stay grounded during the premarital process.
t is an insane time. You’re planning for one of the biggest days of your life, probably trying to DIY on lots of the wedding-day details to keep expenses down. Plus, you’re putting in demanding hours at work, or, in some cases, conducting a full-blown job search, not to mention dealing with all of your friends’ and family members’ various nuptial demands. Yes, the months leading up to a wedding are always going to be among the most stressful in a woman’s life. That’s why we have pulled together these 10 stress-busters specially made for brides. Read on and relax.
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Set a budget and stick to it It may seem like obvious advice, but experts say it also is one of the pieces that might have the most impact on your stress level. Don’t try on a $4,000 dress if your budget is $1,500, warns Barbara Coolidge Tibbetts, author of “I Want My Mother’s Dress to Match the Napkins: Funny Stories and Serious Advice For Looking Your Best At Your Child’s Wedding” (CreateSpace, 2009). If you fall in love with that $4,000 dress, you’ll either go over budget to get it or feel like what you “settle for” in your price range
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Sanity check! is inferior. There are good, solid options for everything, from invitations to venues, in every budget.
Consider counseling It is not just for problem couples. In fact, many states offer discounts on marriage licenses for couples who have gone through certified premarital counseling. Wedding-planning stress often illuminates what stressors might crop up in later in a marriage, says Alisha C. Walker, one of “The Married Coaches” (www.themarriage coaches.net) who offers couples counseling in Atlanta. For example, working through your expectations for saving and spending on your wedding now will reduce your immediate stress level, as well as help solidify your relationship for other big potential stressors down the road, such as buying your first house.
Cut out the diet talk There’s no surer path to stressinduced misery than buying a dress that is too small, hoping you’ll fit into it by the big day. Author Tibbetts, who also owns the T. Carolyn dress shop for mothers of the bride in Dallas, says it takes a loss of 15 pounds to drop one dress size. This doesn’t mean you should abandon efforts to eat right and exercise. Both of those things can help reduce stress during the planning process. And, if you lose a few pounds in the process, great.
Start slowly Eisner thinks the “wedding distress disorder” many brides-to-be experience is because “people move too quickly into action mode.” You don’t have to buy a newsstands’ worth of bridal magazines the day of your engagement and start
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
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CELEBRATE NEW BEGINNINGS the planning immediately. Enjoy your engagement time and think about the marriage and life you are building, not only the party.
Brainstorm Christine Eisner, author of the “Comfort Living – A Back-to-Basics Guide to a More Balanced Lifestyle” (Lifestyle Design, 2009), suggests newly engaged couples try the following exercise. Sit down, close your eyes and visualize your wedding. Instead of thinking about how you want your wedding to look, think about how want you to feel. (Eisner’s book and coordinating journal include a grid of 30 words – such as “calm,” “cozy” and “sleek” – to help you find the right words, but you also can brainstorm your own.) Once you have that word in mind, make that your mantra. If you want a wedding where people are “comfortable,” you’ll make different decisions about your venue and flowers than if your key word is “opulent.” Having that word in mind makes it easier to make decisions.
Shop alone Tibbetts advises mothers-of-thebride and brides-to-be who are looking for that special dress to go it alone, at least the first time out. “The more people you bring, the more confusion there is,” she says.
Grow up Many brides-to-be try to plan their big day to match a picture that has been in their heads since they were in grammar school. While it is fine to have a fairy tale aspect to your wedding, says Eisner, you need to adjust your fantasy to the person you are now. You may now want something different that you didn’t know about when you were a child. “There needs to be a transition from the little girl fantasy,” Eisner says.
Trust the pros Too many brides torment themselves – and possibly those around them – by looking at magazines and then trying to become a specialist in every aspect of the wedding in an effort to replicate
what they see. If you give the florist, caterer, baker and other pros the creativity they need, you may find that they have ideas that fit your budget and goals – and are different than what you’ve seen before. A corollary to that is that you should listen to the pros when they point out potential pitfalls. They’ve been there; they’ve done that. They know of which they speak.
Allow people to participate Not taking friends and family dress shopping doesn’t mean you are eliminating them from all the pre-party prep. If you have a friend who owns a restaurant and wants to pitch in, perhaps you can ask her to come up with a signature drink for your reception.
Have fun, but don’t buy the fairy tale That’s the last piece of advice from Walker: “Because, the next day, reality hits.” The more you make your wedding fit with your everyday life, the less stress you’ll experience when it is over.
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www.ton.siu.edu The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
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Budget cake,
luxe flavor Here’s how to get the most cake for your money. plurging on five-tier cakes with multiple flavors and sugar flowers in every bite isn’t worth the high cost for everyone. Here are some inexpensive ideas for a cake.
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Price tiers The most important thing to remember is to be honest about the budget you have in mind. If you’re having a bakery prepare the cake, be sure to tell them about your budget concerns up front at the tasting. Some bakeries also have price minimums, so it’s a good idea to get the cost issue squared away first. “When I ask my (clients) about their budget, I’m not asking this to see how much I can get out of them,” says Keli Fayard, the co-owner and chef at Vanille Patisserie in Chicago. “I’m asking this so I can design a cake that they will love and they’ve budgeted for. I like to come up with a design that includes a little wow-factor yet still falls within their preferred price range.”
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When planning the cake of your dreams, the general rule is that the more time-intensive it will be to make, the more it will cost. This means adding flavors, tiers, or even changing the shape from round to square will increase the cost. Heavy use of fondant or sugar flowers also can bump up the price. “To keep costs down, choose simple, round and white,” says Fayard. She recommends adding your own decorations just before the reception, going with fresh flowers, lace or ribbon.
Don’t skimp on flavor One thing that you should not skimp on, however, is the taste. “No one should ever sacrifice on flavor,” says Cheryl Kleinman of Cheryl Kleinman Cakes in New York. “The cake should always taste good. The couple and the guests should be very satisfied.” She suggests getting a small, tastefully decorated two- or three-tiered cake for cutting in the ceremony, then sheet cakes to serve the guests. This way, you won’t have to skimp on ingredients. “The money should go into having a greattasting cake,” Kleinman advises. “Lower-end bakers aren’t using the best ingredients, but the high-end ones are.” Your guests will remember the taste of world-class chocolate more than they will the intricate details of the sugar flowers. Plus, it’s not going to last forever – you’re going to end up eating it anyway.
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
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Offering top quality rentals for your wedding, party, or special event. • Candelabras (brass & silver) • Dry ice machine • Fog machine • Table skirting & covers (various colors) • Mirror boxes & trays • Napkins (various colors) • Band stand • Chairs • Fountains • Trays • Salad bar • Light box • Chafing dishes • China, cutlery & glassware • Punch bowl • Wine bucket • 8 Globe light set • LED colored accent lights • DJ in a Box
• Karaoke systems • Sound systems • Tables (round & banquet) • Archway • Plant stands • Gazebo • Book Stands • Wishing well • Kneeling bench • Chairs (white, padded white, black, gold, mahogany) • Staging • Dance floors • Bars • Lighted cake displays • Chocolate fountain • Roaster • Coffeemakers • Ice sculptures • Tents & liners (10x10 to 40x80) • Tent coolers & heaters
Delivery & Setup Available
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
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CELEBRATE NEW BEGINNINGS DRESS TRENDS
Find the perfect g own
for the perfect
price Fitted strapless satin gown in champagne; $258. FAVIANA
How much do you plan to spend on your gown? $1,000? $500? Something in between? Whatever your price point, there’s never been a better time for chic, affordable bridal fashions. any brides positively know what their wedding gown will look like long before they meet their groom, and they’re not going to let a little thing — OK, actually a huge thing — known as the economy dash their dream dress. They are seeking out gowns with smaller price tags, according to industry experts, but their expectations haven’t shrunk accordingly.
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What’s a gown designer to do? Give these women what they want and bundle it up in a big white bow. There’s really no arguing with a bride who has made up her mind. At the most recent round of wedding fashion previews, observers said there were a lot of sellable gowns catering to a variety of tastes and lifestyles, none of which, however, were obviously pareddown. There might have been a little less beading and fewer exotic trims, such as feathers, to keep costs down, but there wasn’t an industry-wide movement toward gowns on the cheap, the insiders said. “When I try to think of one overriding theme, it’s that brides still want the options for the wedding they want to have,” said Darcy Miller, editorial director of Martha Stewart Weddings. And of course, she added, each bride wants a different kind of wedding; it’s a traditional, formal blowout for one, a more casual beach bash for another. “Because of the economic climate, a lot of brides are willing to get a DJ instead of a band, do it on Sunday instead of a Saturday night, but they still have the wedding and still have the dream of what they wanted their SEE GOWNS / PAGE 11
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
Alfred Angelo’s charmeuseover-satin dress with rhinestones, sequins and chapel train; $799. ALFRED ANGELO
THE WEDDING DRESS EXPERIENCE Should a bride stick to a $1,000 wedding dress budget, most designers say she’ll still get the redcarpet treatment when buying her gown, from making an appointment to working with a wedding consultant through the entire dress-buying process. Unless she visits a bigger bridal chain store where she can buy off the rack, she’ll most likely have to order her dress, which can take up to three months. Some purchases can be trickier, like buying J. Crew gowns, which are sold only online. Under each dress description is a note to contact J. Crew’s wedding specialist for help with the gown purchase. A few stores, such as Tom’s Bridal in Anaheim, Calif., may charge for gown fittings but will deduct it from the purchase price of a gown should a customer buy it. “We don’t look at how much she spends,” says Aubree Cummings, a sales rep for Celebrations Bridal, a Las Vegas-based bridal gown store in business for 22 years. “Whatever she spends, we treat the customer the same. A bride walks in the door, and whoever greets her stays with her through the entire process.”
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If your budget is
$1000
Here are a few highlights of the season grouped by price point. Some of the best gowns available at the $1,000 and under price point (not including tax and alterations) include: Saja Inc.’s empire waist gown made of crinkle chiffon and lightly dotted with handbeaded glass and crystals at the bust line; $925. Ceec Design’s strapless gown in silk georgette with cascading tiers and a silk charmeuse bow on the back; $950. Wtoo Brides’ pleated tulle, trumpet gown; $940. JCrew.com’s limited edition confetti dress, made in Irish linen with a tulle overlay sprinkled with tiers of delicately embroidered disks; $995. Nicole Miller’s stretch metal and silk gown; $880.
WTOO BRIDES
gown; $940. Pleated tulle trumpet
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If your budget is
Not a r penny ove
$800
$500
Drop down a few Benjamins and brides can look great in these gowns priced at $799 or less: Wtoo Brides’ floor-length baby-doll style with pleated flowers and pockets; $725. Alfred Angelo’s charmeuse-over-satin dress adorned with rhinestones, pearls and sequins with a chapel train; $799. Saja’s sheer panel v-neck dress with a v-back; $790. Alix and Kelly’s spaghetti strap tea-length dress in silk taffeta with gathered tulle trim; $650.
ALIX & KELLY Spaghetti strap tea-length silk taffeta dress with gathered tulle trim; $65 0.
So, how low can you go when shopping for a dress with bespoke allure? Some designers and companies are rolling out options that are less than $500, including: Thread’s one-shouldered floor-length gown with a high-waisted skirt in matte silk; $480. Niki Bridal’s lace and chiffon gown with crystal beading and sweep train; $429. Faviana’s chiffon gown with beaded empire waist; $300. JCrew.com’s silk tricotine v-neck gown with cap sleeves; $395.
NIKI BRIDAL
wn with crystal Lace and chiffon go in; $429. tra p ee beading and sw
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CELEBRATE NEW BEGINNINGS GOWNS: Find the perfect dress at the perfect price FROM PAGE 9 dress to be,” Miller said. Designer Monique Lhuillier said she feels almost protective when crafting wedding gowns, which is different than the trendsetter role she might play when working on red-carpet gowns or ready-to-wear clothes. “It’s a wedding, a celebration, a new life, a new love, a new chapter. I’m honored to be a part of it and rework the dress to make sure it’s perfect in my own eye,” said Lhuillier. “I thought about the ultimate bride and how much we could give her,” said another designer, Reem Acra. “The perfect look is that she wants to stay young, stay fresh and be able to travel with the dress.” Acra captured modern and airy silhouettes influenced by a trip to Japan, where she was impressed with gardens, Zen and an aesthetic of purity. There’s no “flash” in the gowns, Acra
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
explained, since she was aiming for a sweeter sort of beauty, when a bride gets caught up in the romance of the occasion. “You want the bride to feel like she’s getting married — that it’s pure and real,” she said. “After all, you’re not getting married to throw a party or even to wear the dress. You are getting married to get married — for you, for him, for the both of you — and these dresses are supposed to reflect that.” Trends are barely a blip on Nicole Miller’s radar as she does her bridal collection, nevermind that she also designs fashion-forward cocktail frocks. A good, flattering gown that can be worn by different ages and body types is another story, though. “If I have a really good-selling evening gown, I’ll do a version for bridal because I already know the silhouette is selling. I might add beading or longer train,” she said. Her favorite from her new collection
is a crushed metal-taffeta dress with a pleated bottom and tucks up the front. What brides want most is to look fantastic, and what they think about is how gowns flatter their figure and appear in photographs, Nicole Miller said. That’s why corsets sell so well in bridal, she added laughing. Michael Shettel, designer of the Alfred Angelo collection, said sleek and slim is one popular direction for brides; the other, at the opposite end of the spectrum, is the modern ballgown. “We approached this season with the inspiration of jazz on a summer’s day,” said Shettel, who watched a 1958 documentary about the Newport Jazz Festival as part of his process. “What was striking was how modern the casual sort of dresses looked in 1958 with the juxtaposition of the jazz-world glamour.” The way to find the perfect dress is to try it on and see how it moves, because movement brings the dress alive.
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Dessy and Pantone join forces to get colors under control. t’s not easy getting your wedding colors to match. Your bridesmaid dresses’ fuchsia may not be your florist’s fuchsia, which probably isn’t your venue’s fuchsia or your cake designer’s fuchsia, either. A new collaboration between Pantone and The Dessy Group hopes to change that. The result, Pantone Wedding, incorporates Pantone’s color tools with Dessy’s collection of fashions and accessories with the goal of establishing a perfectly color-coordinated wedding.
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Inspiration boards help brides create the “look” of their wedding by mashing together photos of fashions and accessories in their wedding colors along with notes and other wedding-related images. Once saved, the style boards can be shared via e-mail and posted on Web sites and blogs. Each Dessy image also directly links to the product-detail page for finding and purchasing items. See them at www.dessy.com/pantone
SWATCH CARDS Swatch cards ($10) are available in approximately 200 Pantone colors. The 8.5-by11 sheets can be divided into 14 individual swatch cards – one side features full-color saturation, the other lists the color name and Pantone reference number. The goal: to be able to hand off perfectmatch colors to your vendors.
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Trends to marry by Couples examine options from photo booths to cupcakes to specialty lighting. he rows and rows of displays by photographers, cake decorators, floral designers and everything else you could possibly want for a wedding nearly overwhelmed Rana Mansour of Sterling Heights, Mich., and her fiance, Rashad Saleh of Dearborn, Mich. Fortunately, they knew exactly what they’d come to check out at the Bridesto-Be Expo in Dearborn — photo booths. The couple, who plan to marry May 30, stepped behind the curtain of ShutterBooth, owned by Nolan and Kimberly Gottschalk of Royal Oak, Mich. Out popped a print of Saleh as he planted a kiss on Mansour’s cheek, a keepsake that looks like a book mark. Photo booths will be big at weddings in 2010, says Cyd LaChiusa, producer of the Brides-To-Be Shows, one of several presenters of bridal expos that get going in January. Other trends sure to be popular, according to wedding planners and couples: Cupcakes, lighting that shines the couples’ names or initials around the reception hall, live entertainment and dancing to or from the altar. Expect brighter, richer colors, too, a reflection of the brighter economic forecast expected in 2010, says Tom Schoenith, owner of the Roostertail, on Detroit’s riverfront. Brides are requesting jewel tones, Tiffany blue and other brighter colors — a marked contrast to the more subdued browns and beiges popular last year, says Schoenith, whose establishment has hosted weddings and reception for 52 years. Julie Raimondi, editor of Brides Michigan magazine and brides.com, says gray will be a popular. “Higher-end grays and neutrals can be incredibly elegant,”
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The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
she says. “I think you’ll also see patterned and printed bridesmaids’ dresses.” Expect to see brightly colored shoes, she says — red and bright blue with the white and ivory gowns. Couples still want beautiful weddings on a budget, but they’re going for special touches that reflect who they are and offer lots of fun and memorable moments. That’s why Mansour, 29, and Saleh, 31, plan to have a photo booth. “It’s a great way for everybody who comes to enjoy themselves ART SERVICES and get a keepsake from the Julie Raimondi, editor of Brides Michigan magazine wedding,” says Mansour, a doctor, and brides.com, says gray will be a popular. ‘Higherwho met Saleh, a chiropractor, at a end grays and neutrals can be incredibly elegant,’ get-together with friends about a she says. ‘I think you’ll also see patterned and year and a half ago. printed bridesmaids’ dresses.’ Expect to see brightly Shayna Goodman, 24, of Livonia, colored shoes, she says — red and bright blue with Mich., is also excited about having the white and ivory gowns. a photo booth at her wedding to Brandon Kummer, 25, though it birthday parties. won’t be until Jan. 15, 2011. Donna Anderson, who operates “The photo booths are really awesome Celebrate with Cupcakes out of her Flat and they make a great party favor as Rock, Mich., home, started baking well,” says Goodman, who won a battle cupcakes for weddings last year and has of the bouquet toss at the Brides-to-Be done four. She does cupcake trees, Show and won a three-hour ride from cupcake bouquets and cupcake Luxury Limousine of Dearborn. keepsakes, all decorated and filled based Generally, guests enter into the booth on each couple’s request. under the direction of a host at the “Couples like them because they’re reception. Two photos pop out — one for fun, different and unique,” she says. the guest and another that the company Cupcakes are under consideration by compiles into a scrapbook for the bride Katie Zack, 23, of Highland, and Mike and groom. Renting a photo booth and the use of a Keeler, 25, of Rochester, Mich., for their Oct. 9 wedding. Web site for posting photos that can be “Since we’re on a budget,” Zack says, “I ordered costs about $800. like that cupcakes can be made in our At lots of weddings this year, look for colors and double as centerpieces.” cupcakes, once seen primarily at
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Make his ex-girlfriends
jealous.
right way
The to do
wine
ine with Wine expert Gary Vaynerchuk dinner – where to dishes on the best wines for begin? There your big day and your budget. seems to be an infinite number of wine choices from the Dao, Douro and and pairings out there, and Alentejo regions of Portugal. almost as many ways to ruin That way, guests can have a either your guests’ meal or meal choice and you don’t your budget with the wrong have to worry about buying a selection. large variety of wines. Enter Gary Vaynerchuk, a “Portuguese wines are video-blogging wine guru without question the single (www.winelibrary.tv). He’s best value in the marketplace here to make sure the wines right now, making them great at your wedding not only for weddings where a lot of satisfy your budget but also wine gets wasted,” says deliciously reflect your Vaynerchuk. “You will find personality, as well. many $6 to $10 wines that knock your socks off, both Get personal red and white.” He adds that wines from Argentina and His first suggestion is to make friends with the person Southwest France also are who sells and stocks the wine deliciously affordable. when you’re shopping. “The Toast faux-pas best strategy is to form a relationship with your wine We know it can be retailer and try new things,” tempting to splurge for this he says. “As they learn your important moment, but palate and what you like, Vaynerchuk advises to keep it they’ll be able to suggest new cheaper. “People buy the $40 and interesting wines that house brand Champagne (for you may never have heard of the toast) when they can just and would never have tried as easily spend $10 to $12 on on your own.” a prosecco or Spanish Cava,” he says. Pairing versatility
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Announce your engagement—or share your wedding photo—by putting your story in The Southern Illinoisan! We make it easy with a form that you can customize. Fill it out online, request one over the phone, or stop by our office. Your story and photo are published in The Southern Illinoisan and also online.
Social Announcements in The Southern Illinoisan
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As for finding the perfect wine pairing with your reception entrées, the general rule is to match flavor intensity – a lighter menu with a lighter wine, a richer menu with a richer wine. For the best for your budget, however, Vaynerchuk recommends going with a versatile wine, like some
Let them drink syrah It’s one thing many couples forget – you don’t have to serve Cabernet or Chardonnay just to please guests, especially if you don’t want to. Taste and explore many options. It’s your day, drink wine you like!
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Honeymoon secrets ometimes you just gotta get away. And as host of the Travel Channel’s “Great Weekends,” Samantha Brown knows how to do just that. Here are her suggestions for leaving the wedding all behind and having a blast on your ’moon. Factor in “door-to-door” travel time. It may be a five-hour flight, but total travel time could be almost double that amount. If you only have a week, choose a closer location so you’re not spending a chunk of your honeymoon in transit. Look beautiful in your pictures. It’s a gorgeous sunset picture of the two of you, but your face is so shiny it’s almost reflective. Always bring powder, waterproof mascara and a little lip gloss. Now post those pics on Facebook! Stay away from organized tours; there’s nothing romantic about being with 30
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The Travel Channel’s Samantha Brown offers her tips for a perfect post-wedding trip. people on a bus. Splurge on a personal guide or driver to take you around and get a local’s perspective of where the best beaches and spots (hint: no tourists) are. Find out the peak times of the places you want to go to – beach, Machu Picchu, museum – and avoid at all costs. General rule is if you go first thing in the morning or after 4 p.m. you’ll have the place to yourself. Give yourself a break and don’t over-plan your honeymoon. Wait to book excursions like snorkeling or a helicopter ride for when you get there.
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Our wedding, our way
Young, broke and ready to tie the knot! How engaged college couples are getting married today. he story of two kids tying the knot fresh out of college is hardly new. But in the midst of a rough economy, the story is becoming more complicated. For two doe-eyed couples, planning a 2010 wedding has meant sacrifice, persistence and a healthy dose of DIY.
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The Couples Alyssa Derose, 21, and Zach Gaidar, 22: Alyssa and Zach began dating in high school and attended Western Illinois University together. The future Mr. and Mrs. Gaidar will exchange vows Oct. 1, 2010, at Prairie Crossing in Grayslake, an outdoor venue with a barn and a gazebo.
Alyssa Derose, 21, and Zach Gaidar, 22 began dating in high school and attended Western Illinois University together.
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CELEBRATE NEW BEGINNINGS Hillary Sowatsky, 21, and Jeff Hentschel, 23: Hillary and Jeff met as students at Northwestern University. Jeff graduated in June 2009 and started working for Ford Motor Company in Detroit; Hillary will graduate a quarter early in March. The future Mr. and Mrs. Hentschel will tie the knot April 10, 2010, at Hillary’s home church in suburban St. Louis.
Setting the date Alyssa and Zach initially planned to get married in April 2011. “It just seemed so far away,” Alyssa said. “We didn’t know what would be going on in our lives so far away from now.” To save money, the couple decided to hold their wedding on a Friday. “It cuts the cost in half,” Alyssa said. “It’s the same with photographers, going to DJs, anything like that.” But that decision poses its own challenges. Some guests have offered to take the day to help the couple set up. Others have said they can’t attend because they can’t take the day off of work. Alyssa’s main concern is that her rehearsal dinner is on a Thursday. Hillary and Jeff decided to get married in April to catch the end of the wedding off-season. Hillary said she’s noticed venues booking up more quickly.
Finalizing the guest list The easiest way to cut money is to cut the guest list, Hillary said. “If you cut one table, that’s 10 meals, linens, the centerpiece, invitations for everyone and various other stationery and favors,” she said. For Alyssa and Zach, cutting down the list quickly turned to cutting down on invited family members. Alyssa’s dad is one of 10 children; Zach’s mom is one of six. “We definitely had to cut people out,” Alyssa said. “We cut out the younger cousins. We just invited our age.” A huge priority for Hillary and Jeff has been to create an environment that can
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
What are you doing to save money? Here’s what the young brides had to say:
Get married in the off-season: • “April is a much more popular month this year,” Hillary said.“The main advice for brides looking to save money is getting married in an off-season month.”
Keep the guest list trim: • “We’re probably going to use the rehearsal dinner, instead of having more family, as just the wedding party,” Alyssa said. • “If you cut one table, that’s 10 meals, linens, the centerpiece, invitations for everyone and various other stationary and favors,” Hillary said.
Hillary Sowatsky, 21, and Jeff Hentschel, 23, met as students at Northwestern University.
include more people even if the theme is less extravagant. “When I got engaged, I knew it was more important to me to have everyone that I want to have there,” Hillary said. But even encouraging people to attend the wedding proved to be a challenge. “I have relatives who are out of a job that might not be able to come to the wedding,” Hillary said. “It’s an added pressure. You think: Will people feel obligated to come? Is there anything we can do to make it more feasible to come?” One idea was to market the wedding as family weekend. Hillary’s family has a reunion every two years, but this year the family was unsure who would be able to make it. “My mom turned (the wedding) into a reunion weekend,” said Hillary, who included pamphlets for St. Louis attractions with the save-the-dates.
Finishing touches Fitting all the wedding essentials has forced the couples to get creative. Alyssa’s wedding favors double as place cards. A friend who is a graphic designer will create all the stationery for their wedding. Alyssa and Zach just have to provide the paper. Hillary and Jeff are going for signature cocktails rather than a full bar. “We’re trying out different drinks that are local to the cities that have been important to us,” Hillary said. They’re working on a drink for St. Louis and for Chicago, and
Hillary said she hopes to have a purple drink for Northwestern.
The life of a college fiancé Both Hillary and Alyssa like to keep their wedding planning and student life separate. Hillary knocked off most of the planning over the summer. Alyssa found her dress before school started and looked for a caterer and photographer at home over the holidays. Alyssa said fitting her wedding into a tight budget has been stressful. “We have to step back and look at the situation we’re in,” she said. “He’ll be 23 when we get married, and I’ll be 22 ... we still have college loans.” But getting married now, even within her budget, just feels right. “Every girl has a dream wedding with an image of having a wedding planner and a beautiful, huge wedding,” Alyssa said. “We could be over the top, and I’m just not that person.” Hillary said it’s both easier and more difficult being engaged and trying to find a job. “Because Jeff graduated first and accepted a job first,” Hillary said, “he’s made the decision of where we’re going to live. “It does make it more difficult because I have to look in such a small area.” But being away from Jeff has made wedding planning more complicated, too. Jeff wants to stay involved, but since he can’t make it to meetings with Hillary, she just takes good notes. “It’s hard being apart,” Hillary said.
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Countdown to the perfect wedding day A step-by-step guide to help keep the stars in your eyes, your feet on the ground and your plans on track. Congratulations! You're in love, you've set a wedding date, and soon you will be married. Between the romance and the ritual, however, there's some work to be done. A wedding celebration can be as simple or as elaborate as you and your groom choose to make it. Newly engaged couples who resist plunging pell-mell into the planning process may be the most successful planners of all. Before rushing out to book a hall, order hors d'oeuvres and ice down the champagne, seek clarity. Who are you and your fiancé? Who, and what, is important to you? Take the time to define your idea of an ideal wedding. This will pay off later, helping with the decisionmaking for your ceremony and reception. When you've decided on the overall tone for your special day, it's time to get down to business. Couples who tackle wedding planning pragmatically, as if it were a work-related project, tend to survive the process with greater ease. Here is our suggested timetable for the steps you should take in the months, weeks and days leading up to your wedding. Start here to envision and plan the wedding of your dreams.
Nine months before your wedding
♥ Choose your wedding date. If you plan to be married in a church or temple, clear the date and time with your clergy. ♥ Announce your engagement. ♥ Set your budget. Take time for a heart-toheart talk with your fiancé about the budget and style of your wedding, reception and wedding-related parties, and who pays for what. Enlist help. Consider hiring a bridal consultant. If your budget won’t stretch that far, don’t despair. Enlist relatives and close friends to assist you in specific tasks. ♥ Compose your guest list. ♥ Reserve your reception site. ♥ Decide on your color scheme. ♥ Choose your wedding attendants. ♥ Select your wedding gown, shoes and accessories.
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♥ Decide on bridesmaids’ dresses. ♥ Determine the theme or mood you’d like to establish with the food, table settings, entertainment and flowers. ♥ Interview caterers, musicians, florists, photographers, videographers and bakers.
Six months before your wedding
♥ Choose your caterer. Remember to get a written contract. ♥ Choose your musician(s). ♥ Book your photographer and/or videographer. ♥ Select your baker. Order the cake. ♥ Choose your florist. ♥ Shop for wedding rings. ♥ Select your wedding invitations.
Four months before your wedding ♥ Register for gifts at one or more bridalgift registries. ♥ Help both mothers to coordinate and shop for their wedding-day attire. ♥ Select music. ♥ Choose readings for your wedding and write your wedding vows. ♥ Plan a rehearsal dinner. Reserve the location. ♥ Arrange hotel accommodations for members of the wedding party who live out of town. ♥ Reserve your wedding-day transportation and other rental needs. ♥ Make appointments for fittings. ♥ Make sure contracts and arrangements are complete with all of your service providers.
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CELEBRATE NEW BEGINNINGS Three months before your wedding
♥ Carefully prepare directions, including simply drawn maps, if necessary, to help guide guests to the wedding and reception, and to hotels. ♥ Begin addressing invitations and announcements. Select a special stamp at the post office. Invitations should go in the mail six to eight weeks prior. ♥ Give the caterer or other food suppliers a close idea of the number. ♥ Shop for gifts for your attendants.
Two months before your wedding ♥ Have wedding portraits taken. ♥ Send bridal portrait and wedding announcement to newspapers. ♥ Finalize the music that will be played during your wedding ceremony. ♥ Meet with musicians who will provide entertainment during your reception. Don’t be shy to voice your preferences, down to the volume, favorite songs you’d like to hear, or even songs you don’t want played. ♥ Purchase special accessories. ♥ Plan a luncheon for bridesmaids.
The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010
♥ Make appointments for a hairdresser and manicurist. ♥ Finalize honeymoon plans.
One month before your wedding ♥ Get your wedding license. ♥ Have a final fitting of your gown and make sure your attendants have theirs. ♥ Check that your menu selections and service plans are locked in place with the caterer. ♥ Check with your florist to confirm dates and times of flower deliveries. ♥ Review your wedding-day transportation plans and make sure drivers are clear about addresses, times and number of passengers. ♥ Make name or address changes official on documents, including driver's license, Social Security forms and financial accounts. Fill out change-of-address forms at the post office. ♥ Meet with your photographer to specify the formal shots you want taken of the bridal party, as well as specific, candid shots you’d like taken during the reception. ♥ Review the video plans with your videographer.
Two weeks before your wedding ♥ Pick up your wedding rings. Make sure any special engraving appears precisely as you wished. ♥ Pack for your honeymoon.
The day before ♥ Take time to relax and enjoy a massage, manicure and pedicure. ♥ This is the day for your rehearsal ceremony and rehearsal dinner. ♥ Turn in early for a good night’s sleep.
The wedding day ♥ Allow plenty of time for dressing, makeup and hair styling. ♥ If you plan on photography before the ceremony, allow ample time so you’re not rushed. ♥ Relax, and remember: This is your special day, the result of all your careful planning. Now it’s time to enjoy. Take a deep breath. Refuse to let any glitch get to you. Savor every moment of this sacred day. Let your joy and happiness shine through. Best wishes!
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The Southern Illinoisan • January 2010