Parade 02-17

S U N D AY, F E B R U A RY 1 7 , 2 0 1 3

SECRETS TO A HAPPY The

FAMILY

In his new book, best-selling author (and dad) Bruce Feiler reveals the smartest ways to teach kids values, calm chaos at home, and draw families closer together. Take his quiz (p. 6) to learn how your family can be happier and more resilient. Š PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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What drew you to Q: I love Joel McHale this role? It’s a really on Community. What inventive show, and was college like for I’ve always loved fairy him? —Don Schwartz, Austin, Tex. tales. It’s fun to wave A: The actor, who stars your hand and have as a fast-talking lawyer someone fly across fforced to go back to the room! sschool at Greendale Do you have a favorite Community College fairy tale? I’m addicted on the NBC comedy to the entire Oz book Joel McHale (Thursdays), received series by L. Frank a bachelor’s degree in Baum, who wrote history from the University The Wonderful Wizard of Washington in 1995. “I of Oz. They were always loved the subject, but it’s my favorites as a kid. not like you can open a Are you still in touch history shop!” says McHale, with your Beaches costar, 41. “I wasn’t a very focused Bette Midler? We’ve lost student. It was a fun time contact in the last few and a good experience, but years because she moved I mostly wanted to be an to New York and I’m in actor, so I devoted a lot of L.A., but I love her and consider her a friend. When she my time to that.” was living in L.A., we’d go to restaurants, and it was fun to see people do double takes when they saw us together!

Q: Has Ellie Goulding That 1988 movie has become a classic. Did you know kept in touch with Prince it was special when you were making it? I knew it William and Kate Middlewas a rare thing to have a film about the friendship ton since she sang at their between women. It’s crucial for little girls growing up to wedding reception? know that friendships between women are important.

WALTER SCOTT ASKS…

BARBARA HERSHEY

The actress, 65, plays Cora, the mother of the Evil Queen, on ABC’s Once Upon a Time (Sundays).

Q: If Shaquille O’Neal could go up against any basketball player today, who would it be?

—Randy Foster, Nev.

A: “I would have loved to play LeBron James when I was younger,” the fourtime NBA champion says of his former Cleveland Cavaliers teammate. “His basketball IQ is phenomenal.” The now-retired

—Allison H., New York City

Send questions to personality@parade.com or P.O. Box 5001, Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10163-5001.

b-baller will serve as a studio analyst for tonight’s NBA All-Star Game on TNT. “Every now and then I have to realize I’m not playing anymore and put myself in fan mode,” adds O’Neal, 40.

Which NBA greats (past or present) would you like to see go one-on-one? Share at Parade.com/bball. < Shaquille O’Neal and LeBron James (inset)

A: “No, but I was thinking about sending them my album [Halcyon] because they’re very special fans,” , says the British pop star, 26, who performed a cover of Elton John’s “Your Song” for the couple’s first dance. “They’re very sweet and sent me letters afterwards to thank me,” the “Anything Can Happen” singer says. “I never

F∏EEBIE

Enter for a chance to win a signed copy of Andrea Bocelli’s new album, Passione, at Parade.com/win

thought in a million years I’d step inside Buckingham Palace, let alone perform for the royal family.”

Ellie Goulding

Q: What inspired Jane Fonda’s first workout video? —K. G., Whittier, Calif.

A: “My main form of exercise had been ballet until I broke my foot in my 40s, and I had to start doing what became the Jane Fonda workout,” says the star, 75. “I had no idea that video would launch a whole industry!” Enter for a chance to win a signed copy of the original fitness guru’s latest video, Jane Fonda Prime Time AM/ Fo PM PM Yoga for Beginners, at Parade.com/fonda.

Fonda circa 1985

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: ANNELISE PHILLIPS; JASON LAVERIS/FILMMAGIC; NEILSON BARNARD/GETTY IMAGES; HARRY LANGDON/GETTY IMAGES; ILYA S. SAVENOK/GETTY IMAGES; ROBERT LABERGE/GETTY IMAGES

T WA L

COT ER S

2 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

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FIRST LADIES On Presidents’ Day, C-Span is launching a new series about our leaders’ better halves. Each episode focuses on a different woman, from Martha Washington (left) to Michelle Obama, highlighting their unique influences on American history. (Mondays, 9 p.m. ET)

Parade

MCGRAW

TIM

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF US

Aria Beth Sloss’ss powerful novel flashes back to the he ’60s, when young g women’s choicess seemed limited and female friendships ps were fragile lifelines. You’ll find this story both moving g and engrossing.

LIVING AND DYING G IN BRICK CITY

ER doctor Samp-son Davis, who grew up in publicc housing in the same Newark, N.J., neighborhood od he now serves, offers an insider’ss perspective on the he health care crisis iss unfolding in our inner cities.

The country superstar’s new album, Two Lanes of Freedom—his first after a bitter split with his original label—features vintage storytelling even as it hits some new notes. Highlights include the Gaelic-flavored title track and “Highway Don’t Care,” a catchy collaboration with Taylor Swift and Keith Urban.

If you crave even more McGraw, his tour kicks off May 2.

YOKO A GO-GO YOK

We should s all be so o vital at 80.

Yoko Ono, who hits that landmark on Feb. 18, has mar as been protesting fracking with son prot Sean and both giving ng and receiving awards. She’s rece celebrated in two new cele ew books, Days That I’lll book Remember (feaRem turing interviews turin with her and John Lennon) and Yoko Ono: Collector Lenn of Skies Sk (about her life and art).

Go to t Parade.com/ono ono for more.

GOT A QUESTION FOR

GENERAL HOSPITAL? LIVE FR FROM DARYL’S HOUSE DARYL Fed up w with lipsynching? You’re synching invited to Daryl Hall’s home in upstate u New York, York where the hitmaker (above left, with Jason Jaso Mraz) tapes an extraordiintimate, freenarily int wheeling show on which he sings with ranging from guests ra Robinson Smokey R (John Oates to Train (J has stopped stopp by, too).

Episodes air on the Palladia ccable chanat livefrom nel and a darylshouse.com. darylsho

The iconic soap set in the disasterprone town of Port Charles turns 50 this year, and to celebrate, its stars will spill their secrets to PARADE. Go to Parade.com/gh to submit your questions for Anthony Geary (Luke), Genie Francis (Laura), Maurice Benard (Sonny), Jason Thompson (Patrick), Finola Hughes (Anna), and Ian Buchanan (Duke). And tune in to ABC for anniversary surprises like the return of the Nurses’ Ball.

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RIGHT: STOCK MONTAGE/GETTY IMAGES; SYNAESTHETE/COURTESY OF YOKO ONO; ERIC HEIN/ABC PHOTO ARCHIVES; MARK MAGLIO; ALLI HARVEY/WIREIMAGE

READING CORNER

4 • FEBRUARY 17, 201 2013 13

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Kennections

By Ken Jennings HOW TO PLAY

All five correct answers have something in common.

Can you figure out what it is?

Receive up to oa

1. What was the name of Tony Soprano’s scheming older sister on HBO’s The Sopranos?

✎ 2. By what nickname is Scott Braun, the talent manager who signed Justin Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen, better known?

✎ 3. For what kind of rights do organizations like PETA and the HSUS campaign?

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✎ 4. What brainy, overweight boy owns the spectacles that the castaways use to light fires in the novel Lord of the Flies?

✎ 5. What style of subjective, free-form journalism did Hunter S. Thompson practice?

✎ WHAT’S THE “KENNECTION” BETWEEN ALL FIVE ANSWERS?

✎

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Play trivia puzzles by Ken Jennings and readers at Parade.com/ken ANSWERS: 1. JANICE; 2. SCOOTER; 3. ANIMAL; 4. PIGGY; 5. GONZO ALL ARE NAMES OF MUPPETS

PHOTO: ANDY REYNOLDS

MAKE MORE KENNECTIONS!

*See Store for Rebate Form with complete details and qualified models. Only valid at participating Whirlpool and Maytag Brand retailers. Rebate in the form of a Whirlpool or Maytag Brand MasterCard® Prepaid Card by mail. Cards are issued by Citibank, N.A. pursuant to a license from MasterCard International Incorporated. MasterCard is a registered trademark of MasterCard International Incorporated. Cards will not have cash access and can be used everywhere MasterCard debit cards are accepted. ®/™ ©2012. All rights reserved. To learn more about the entire Whirlpool or Maytag Brand lines, please visit whirlpool.com or maytag.com. NCP-14222

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ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY

AS THE SAYING GOES, ALL HAPPY FAMILIES ARE ALIKE. BUT WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON? TAKE OUR QUIZ TO FIND OUT—AND DISCOVER HOW YOU CAN HAVE ONE, TOO.

There comes a moment in the life of nearly every parent when you look at the chaos around you and think: There must be a better way! For me, that happened a few years ago. Having survived the slog of sippy cups and diaper caddies with our then 5-year-old twin daughters, my wife and I were ready to develop a family culture. But what are the ingredients that make families effective, resilient, and happy? • It’s actually a great time to ask that question: Recently we’ve seen a stunning breakthrough in knowledge about how to make families run more smoothly. I spent the past few years meeting with scholars, peace negotiators, online-game designers, the Green Berets, even BY BRUCE Warren Buffett’s bankers to try FEILER to glean the secrets to happy ILLUSTRATIONS BY families. The questions here are KATRIN meant to help you do the same.

FUNCKE

1

When a team of psychologists measured children’s resilience, they found that the kids who ________ were best able to handle stress. (a) Ate the same breakfast every day (b) Knew the most about their family’s history (c) Played team sports (d) Attended regular religious services Answer: (b). The more children know about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives and the higher their self-esteem.

The reason: These children have a strong sense of “intergenerational self”— they understand that they belong to something bigger than themselves, and that families naturally experience both highs and lows.

2

Children are expected to learn how many new words per year during grades 3 through 12? (a) 500 (b) 1,500 (c) 3,000 Answer: (c). It may sound daunting, but you can help by teaching kids one new word every day. Three simple games are effective at building vocabulary.

First, throw out a word like bird or white and have everyone list as many related words as possible. Second, introduce a prefix or suffix and see how many words can be created from it. Third, open a newspaper or magazine and ask the kids to find a word they don’t know, then look up the definitions and discuss.

3

True or false: When giving children an allowance, parents should force them to divide their money into equal piles for spending, saving, and giving away.

Answer: False. An allowance gives kids a chance to practice something they

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

6

To encourage conversation and draw your family closer, arrange your living room seating in a: (a) U shape (b) Circle (c) L shape Answer: (b). A study of hospital patients in Saskatchewan, Canada, found that subjects were friendlier to one another when they were seated faceto-face. The ideal distance is about five feet away, the same vantage from which Rembrandt and Leonardo da Vinci painted portraits.

At that distance, the eye can comfortably take in the torso, hands, and face.

won’t learn in school: money management.

Dividing allowance money into different pots is a popular tactic, but you shouldn’t force it on a child. Instead, let him or her decide how to spend the cash. As one of Warren Buffett’s bankers said, it’s better to make a mistake “with a $6 allowance than a $60,000 salary or a $6 million inheritance.”

4

What do surveys show that children want most from their parents?

(a) To spend more time with them (b) For the parents to be less tired and stressed (c) A bigger allowance Answer: (b). An effective way to cut down on stress is to hold a weekly meeting to review how your family is functioning. Sit together with everyone and pose three questions: “What worked well in our family last week?” “What didn’t work well?” And “What can we work on now?” The following week, adjust and try again.

5

7

The most common time of day for family fights is: (a) Morning (b) Dinnertime (c) Weekends

Eating dinner together as a family has been shown to benefit children, but at least a third of Americans rarely do so. Which of these alternatives can offer the same benefits?

(a) Eating breakfast together (b) Having a bedtime snack as a family (c) Scheduling a once-a-week Sunday supper (d) All of the above Answer: (d). Children who eat dinner with their families do better in school and are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, or develop eating disorders, yet one study found Americans rank 23rd out of 25 countries when it comes to family meals. Still, research shows that you can reap most of the same benefits by gathering at other times, like at breakfast—even if it’s just once a week.

Answer: (b). Psychologists in Chicago studied interactions between moms, dads, and kids and found that the most highly charged time was from 6 to 8 p.m., when parents are returning from work and everybody is hungry. To reduce fighting, hold off on difficult topics until everyone’s looked through the mail, eaten, and changed clothes.

8

When it comes to discipline, who should pick the punishments? (a) Parents (b) Kids FEBRUARY 17, 2013 • 7

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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Answer: (b). When kids have a role in picking their own punishments, it can give them a “greater sense of ownership” over their behavior and may increase the likelihood they’ll follow through on changing it, said Carol Dweck, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Stanford University.

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The worst word you can say in a fight with a spouse is:

10 If you’re having an argument with your partner or teenager, you can help reduce feelings of resentment if you:

(a) Me (b) We (c) You (d) Your mother

(a) Lie down and stretch out (b) Sit up with good posture (c) Lean forward and nod (d) Any of the above, as long as you’re both doing the same thing

Answer: (c). Pronouns are the canaries in the coal mine of conflict. James Pennebaker, Ph.D., chair of the psychology department at the University of Texas at Austin, citing studies of married couples, says that using a lot of first-person pronouns (“I” or “we”) is a sign of a healthy relationship; using “you” (as in “You always say that” or “You never do this”) indicates poor problem solving.

Answer: (d). People who assume power positions (feet up; leaning over a table) tend to have increased feelings of superiority, while those in less powerful poses (sitting lower; arms crossed) tend to feel defensive and resentful. To reduce feelings of power imbalances, says environmental psychologist Sally Augustin, Ph.D., everyone in a conversation should be at the same level, with the same posture.

8 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

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Answer: (c). The cliché is accurate. Scientists posed this question to about 4,000 men and women, and money was the only answer cited by both sides. Couples can cut down on financial conflicts by dividing money into three accounts—“yours,” “mine,” and “ours”—and holding quarterly meetings to discuss finances.

12

When siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 are together, how many times per hour do they fight? (a) One to two (b) Two to three (c) Three to four Answer: (c). Siblings clash an average of 3.5 times per hour, studies show, with those fights lasting a total of 10 minutes. To reduce squabbles, spend a few minutes every day alone with each child (so they’re not jockeying for attention), and give them chores to do jointly to build trust.

13

Difficult conversations among groups of family members will go better if you have two what? (a) Coffee breaks (b) Moderators (c) Women (d) Bottles of wine

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When men and women were asked the top three reasons they argue with their spouse, they agreed on only one.

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A Life Without â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Belly Fatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; How One Woman Overcomes Tragedy and Creates the Life Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Always Wanted

M

indy DeForestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wake-up call about her weight problem was heartbreaking and profound: her sister died of colon cancer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My sister was overweight, and I knew that being overweight myself put me more at risk for all sorts of health issues,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I knew something had to change.â&#x20AC;?

At 208 pounds, Mindy was the heaviest sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d ever been. Even having children hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t caused her to gain so much weight, but the stress of caring for and eventually losing her sister, as well as being in an unhappy marriage, had caused her weight to balloon. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a total stress eater,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I kept turning to food for emotional reasons, and I was really putting on weight.â&#x20AC;?

Like most people, Mindy had tried dieting in the past. Over the course of ten years she tried Weight Watchers, Body for Life, ephedra... pretty much everything. But unfortunately, nothing was working for her.

Mindy decided to try losing weight one more time, so she began working with a personal trainer. It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take long before her trainer realized that a big part of her weight-gain issues revolved around stress eating, so he recommended she try a product called Relacore . ÂŽ

â&#x20AC;&#x153;He told me it was a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;belly fatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pill that could help me feel less

stressed, give me energy, and improve my mood,â&#x20AC;? Mindy says.

She admits she was pessimistic after having tried so many products that hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worked in the past, but says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;My trainer really believed in it, so I agreed to give it a try.â&#x20AC;?

It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take long before Mindy was convinced of Relacoreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s effectiveness. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I really noticed a difference in my mood. I was in the process of getting divorced and was worried Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d suffer from depression, but Relacore made a huge difference for me.

I never felt down.

I stopped my â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;nervousâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; eating.

And I could really tell from my mood when I missed a day, so I knew it was doing something for me.â&#x20AC;?

Before long, the inches started dropping off, and Mindyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s entire life began to change. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My selfesteem went through the roof.

I started getting job offers, and I felt like for the ďŹ rst time in years, people were paying attention

to me. When I was overweight it was like I just blended into the background, but then I started getting thin and all of a sudden people were noticing me.â&#x20AC;? But

â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I was overweight it was like I just blended into the background, but then I started getting thin and all of a sudden people were noticing me.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Mindy D.

product: Zantrex -3 High Energy Fat Burner. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He told me it could help me get past my plateau and start losing again,â&#x20AC;?

Mindy says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d had so much success with Relacore that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hesitate to try it.â&#x20AC;? ÂŽ

Mindy added Zantrex to her Relacore/diet and exercise regimen, and it gave her the extra boost she needed to blow through her plateau and start dropping even more weight. â&#x20AC;&#x153;With help from Relacore and Zantrex, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lost 55 pounds, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m still going. I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been this thin since my twenties.

I just bought a new skirt, and when I was trying it on it felt so amazing to keep telling the store clerk to bring me a smaller size. I ended up buying a size 2. It was awesome. I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe it.â&#x20AC;?

But for Mindy, the greatest accomplishment isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t being able to ďŹ t into a size 2. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s knowing that I really had the power to change my life. When I was overweight, I was miserable. But now everyone around me can see the difference losing weight has made not just in my physical appearance, BEFORE AFTER 208 LBS 153 LBS but in everything. I have energy, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m positive, then Mindy hit the dreaded Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m outgoing. My whole outlook â&#x20AC;&#x153;weight-loss plateauâ&#x20AC;? and on life has changed. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just almost gave up on ever reaching so happy.â&#x20AC;? her goal... until her trainer Tiffany Strobel is an author, recommended a second columnist, and beauty editor of MyFreeDiet.com

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According to the Internet, the most popular Combo-Pilling duo is Zantrex and Relacore.

You can ďŹ nd them both at 8BMt.BSU 8BMHSFFOT 3JUF "JE $74 and (/$ or order them separately from Zantrex-3 at Zantrex3.com (1-800-341-4377 ) Relacore at Relacore.com (1-800-898-5453) or at TryComboPilling.com.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Use in conjunction with any sensible diet and exercise program. Individual results will vary. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Š2013 All Rights Reserved. BR14294-7

Answer: (c). Researchers from Carnegie Mellon, MIT, and elsewhere analyzed nearly 700 people working in groups and found that those with a higher proportion of females to males were more sensitive to input from everyone, more capable of reaching compromise, and more efďŹ cient.

14

At family meetings, you should vote about a matter: (a) Before you discuss it (b) After you discuss it Answer: (a). Many organizations are better at making decisions if participants express their views at the outset of a meeting. Otherwise, countless studies have shown that the people who speak ďŹ rst and loudest tend to persuade others to go along with their positions, even when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wrong.

15

Research shows that girls delay the onset of sexual activity if they have a close relationship with their: (a) Mothers (b) Fathers (c) Grandparents Answer: (b). In a landmark Add Health study of 90,000 adolescents, researchers found that girls who have close relationships with their fathers were more likely to hold off on having sex. Other studies have shown that involved dads also produce greater sociability and conďŹ dence in both daughters and sons.

10 â&#x20AC;˘ FEBRUARY 17, 2013

Š PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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16

Which of these outof-school activities is more popular for American children ages 7 to 10? (a) Music lessons (b) Religious activities (c) Team sports Answer: (c). Nearly three-quarters of

American children play team sports, but parents often put too much pressure on their kids. To make sports more familyfriendly: Don’t push athletics on your child. Don’t use commands during games (say “good pass,” not “pass the ball”). And

don’t engage in postgame analysis (let the coaches coach; parents should be supportive).

Read an exclusive excerpt from Bruce Feiler’s The Secrets of Happy Families at Parade.com /happyfamilies. Plus, go to Facebook .com/parademag today at 3 p.m. ET for a live chat with Bruce about how to create a meaningful family life.

Legal Notice

If You Were an AOL Member Between March 1, 2006 and May 31, 2006, You May Be Eligible for a Payment from a Class Action Lawsuit What is the lawsuit about?

In 2006, AOL made files containing some users’ search queries available on the Internet. AOL said that the data was anonymous. The lawsuit claims, however, that: 1) some users’ identities could be determined from the data, and 2) that AOL violated certain privacy and consumer protection laws by making it available on the Internet. AOL denies that it did anything wrong, and the Settlement does not prove otherwise.

Both sides have agreed to settle to avoid the costs and risks of trial. A Court has not decided which side is right.

Am I included?

You are a Class Member if: 1) You lived in the U.S. or its territories at any time between March and May of 2006, and 2) Your search query data was available for download from research.aol. com in 2006. There is no way to determine based on your username alone whether your search data was included.

What does the Settlement provide?

The Settlement will provide up to $5 million in payments to Class Members. AOL has taken certain steps to reduce the possibility of a similar data release. They will try to help Class Members who have been, or could be, identified by thirdparty websites that claim to host the search data by asking those sites to remove that data. AOL will also pay certain fees and expenses.

How much money could I get?

You may be eligible for a cash payment of at least $50 from the Settlement. You will need to file

a claim to get a payment. Your actual payment amount may be less than $50 depending on the number of valid claims received.

How do I get benefits?

The deadline for filing a claim has not yet been set, but you should file a claim as soon as possible because the claim deadline could be as early as July 26, 2013. Claim forms and details on how to file are available at www.AOLSearchDataSettlement.com or by calling 1-855-575-0127.

What are my options?

You do not have to do anything to remain in the Class, but you need to submit a Claim Form to receive a payment. Remaining in the Class will mean that you are bound by all orders of the Court and will not be able to sue AOL for the claims being resolved by the Settlement. If you want to sue AOL separately about the claims in this case, you must exclude yourself in writing

by May 3, 2013. If you ask to be excluded, you cannot get a payment from this Settlement. If you stay in the Settlement, you may object to it in writing by May 3, 2013.

The Court will hold a hearing on May 17, 2013 to consider whether to approve the Settlement, a request for attorneys’ fees and expenses of up to $1.5 million (the amount of which AOL reserves the right to contest), and a payment of $9,900 for the Class Representative who helped the lawyers on behalf of the whole Class. If you wish, you or your own lawyer may ask to appear or speak at the hearing at your own expense.

For more information: 1-855-575-0127 www.AOLSearchDataSettlement.com

17

Which behavior is more vital to a happy relationship? (a) Supporting your partner during a difficult period (b) Celebrating your partner after an accomplishment Answer: (b). Researchers at the University of California at Santa Barbara asked men and women to share good news with their partners. Those with the strongest relationships didn’t just toast their partner’s achievement (“Good job, honey”) but attributed it to their unique self (“Only someone with your ingenuity could have won that big account”).

The scientists concluded that it’s more important to congratulate your partner when things go right than to console when things go wrong.

18

How many Americans attend a family reunion every year? (a) 25 million (b) 50 million (c) 100 million Answer: (c). About 40 percent of Americans attend an annual

reunion, with another 25 percent attending one every few years. To increase bonding during reunions, hold a family trivia contest or play intergenerational games like capture the flag.

Having fun together is a key part of building a strong family identity.

19

Most people say their family is:

(a) Happy (b) Unhappy Answer: (a). Threequarters of American adults say their family is the most important element of their lives, and 85 percent say that the family they have today is as close as or closer than the family they grew up with.

So, then, what do happy families do right? Happy families adapt. They talk—a lot. They go out and play. And they make the decision to keep working on their family. In the end, this may be the most enduring lesson of all. What’s the biggest secret to a happy family? Trying.

Adapted from The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More,

by Bruce Feiler (Feb. 19, William Morrow)

12 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Ask Marilyn

By Marilyn vos Savant

When it’s cold outside, sometimes you can see your breath; other times, you can’t. What determines this?

Get relief from your joint and muscle pain now or your money back!

—Joe Heard, Denver

It depends on the humidity.

When the water vapor in your breath exceeds the amount that can be held by the air, the vapor condenses into tiny droplets that form the familiar short-lived little cloud. The sight doesn’t last long because the droplets evaporate quickly in the dry outdoor air, which is always in motion.

Actually, the droplets are so small that you can’t see them, but they’re made visible by the light they reflect. That’s why you can see your breath much better on a sunny day. And you may be surprised to hear that the coldest temperatures are often recorded on bright, sunny days because there’s no blanket of clouds to keep heat on the ground.

You can see your breath only in winter because the colder the air, the less moisture it can hold (warm air can always hold more water vapor than your breath can).

So very cold, dry, clear days mean the conditions are just right for playing dragon with the kids.

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Got a question for Marilyn?

Visit Parade.com/askmarilyn

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

HAIL TO THE SWEETS

Keep on Cooking FIND OUT PRESIDENT OBAMA’S FAVORITE DESSERT AT DASHRECIPES.COM /PRESIDENT

See if you can guess which White House occupant craved which treat

1. Which president had a fondness for doughnuts?

RED, WHITE, AND

O O W

HOO

This Pr es to Geor idents’ Day, ra ge, Abe , and th ise a (parfait) e gang glass

PRESIDENTIAL PARFAIT

In a medium bowl, whisk 3 (7-oz) containers of plain or vanilla 2% Greek yogurt.

Wash ½ pint each blueberries, blackberries, and strawberries. Slice strawberries.

Measure out ½ cup granola or coarsely chopped walnuts. In each of 4 parfait glasses, layer yogurt, granola and berries.

Repeat layers once or twice, ending with berries. Garnish with mint leaves, if desired.

Serves 4.

PER SERVING:

200 cal, 27g carbs, 15g protein, 5g fat, 10mg chol, 80mg sodium, 5g fiber (calculated with plain 2% Greek yogurt and ½ cup granola)

2. Whose weakness for ice cream was well known during his presidency?

3. What jelly bean fan once stated, “You can tell a lot about a fella’s character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful”?

4. Which president was a gingerbread lover?

ANSWERS:

1. Franklin Delano Roosevelt loved this fried indulgence, especially small, sugarcoated ones with no holes. 2. John F. Kennedy topped his ice cream with hot fudge sauce. 3. Ronald Reagan famously kept this candy aboard Air Force One as well as on his desk in the Oval Office.

4. When Abraham Lincoln was a child, his mother would occasionally bake a batch of it.

Breakfast Bites

Test more of your presidential knowledge at Parade.com/quiz

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM CENTER: COLIN COOKE/STOCKFOOD; ISTOCKPHOTO (2); BRIAN HAGIWARA/GETTY IMAGES; ISTOCKPHOTO. NUTRITION ANALYSIS/CONSULTING: JEANINE SHERRY, M.S., R.D.

Table Around the

TAKE OUR QUIZ!

14 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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Additional shipping and delivery fees apply unless otherwise stated. *No returns will be accepted on Sleep Number® Innovation Series Limited Edition beds. If, within 45 days of delivery, you are not satisfied, you are eligible for a one-time exchange to another Sleep Number® bed. You must contact customer service to authorize this exchange. You will be responsible for any price difference as well as shipping costs. †Valid 2/14/13 – 2/24/13 with your Sleep Number® Credit Card. Subject to credit approval.

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

She will never receive surgery unless someone helps her.

Cartoon Parade

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Free cleft surgery which takes as little as 45 minutes and costs as little as $250, can give desperate children not just a new smile – but a new life.

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Receive mobile updates about our programs, success stories and ways to help by texting MOBILE to 877877*.

“Be careful, but if you do get hurt, make it good for a high-liability lawsuit.”

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By Marilyn vos Savant

A Healthy Diet During Pregnancy Can Help Prevent Birth Defects And Clefts. According to the U.S. Government, women should take sufficient levels of folic acid (400 micrograms/day) during pregnancy to help reduce the risk for cleft lip and palate. Foods to avoid may include raw or undercooked seafood, beef, pork or poultry; delicatessen meats; fish that contain high levels of mercury; smoked seafood; fish exposed to industrial pollutants; raw shellfish or eggs; soft cheeses; unpasteurized milk; pâté; and caffeine. For more information, visit www.SmileTrain.org.

Smile Train is a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit recognized by the IRS, and all donations to Smile Train are tax-deductible in accordance with IRS regulations. © 2013 Smile Train.

*Msg&Data Rates May Apply. Reply STOP to optout. Reply HELP or contact 1.800.932.9541 for help.

We’ll txt you up to 3x/mo.

Complete 1 to 81 so the numbers follow a horizontal or vertical path—no diagonals.

WEEKEND BREAK

Relax with hundreds of free games at Parade.com/games

7

9

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Donate online: www.smiletrain.org or call: 1-800-932-9541

16 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

He will never receive surgery unless someone helps him.

Cartoon Parade

®

YOU

CAN BE THAT SOMEONE.

“Remember when I said I had a little one?”

Free cleft surgery which takes as little as 45 minutes and costs as little as $250, can give desperate children not just a new smile – but a new life.

Your support can provide free treatment for poor children with clefts. $250 Surgery.

$125 Half surgery.

$ 50 Medications.

Mr./Mrs./Ms.

Zip

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eMail

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My check is enclosed.

N13022E59NHAQD2

Smile Train, P.O. Box 96210, Washington, DC 20090-6210

“...one of the most productive charities— dollar for deed—in the world.”

—The New York Times

Join our mobile community today!

Receive mobile updates about our programs, success stories and ways to help by texting MOBILE to 877877*.

“Be careful, but if you do get hurt, make it good for a high-liability lawsuit.”

®

Numbrix

By Marilyn vos Savant

A Healthy Diet During Pregnancy Can Help Prevent Birth Defects And Clefts. According to the U.S. Government, women should take sufficient levels of folic acid (400 micrograms/day) during pregnancy to help reduce the risk for cleft lip and palate. Foods to avoid may include raw or undercooked seafood, beef, pork or poultry; delicatessen meats; fish that contain high levels of mercury; smoked seafood; fish exposed to industrial pollutants; raw shellfish or eggs; soft cheeses; unpasteurized milk; pâté; and caffeine. For more information, visit www.SmileTrain.org.

Smile Train is a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit recognized by the IRS, and all donations to Smile Train are tax-deductible in accordance with IRS regulations. © 2013 Smile Train.

*Msg&Data Rates May Apply. Reply STOP to optout. Reply HELP or contact 1.800.932.9541 for help.

We’ll txt you up to 3x/mo.

Complete 1 to 81 so the numbers follow a horizontal or vertical path—no diagonals.

WEEKEND BREAK

Relax with hundreds of free games at Parade.com/games

7

9

15

47

49

5

55

23

61

29

77

31

35

69

71

79

CARTOONS, FROM TOP: BOB ECKSTEIN; GARY MCCOY

Donate online: www.smiletrain.org or call: 1-800-932-9541

16 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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Sunday with ...

MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT FAITH. MY FATHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT HARDWORKING MANHOOD.”

PARADE Congratulations on

your award! Do you feel you represent the guy point of view on daytime?

Absolutely. It’s a male point of view, but from a guy who’s always championed women’s causes.

From Family Feud to his daytime talk show, My book Act Like a Lady, Think he’s the award-winning host with the most Like a Man was written for my daughters, so they can quit being Were you funny as a child?

Are your kids impressed with hoodwinked [by men]. I’ve been their dad? [Harvey and his No, I was pretty serious and through the whole gamut—I’ve third wife, Marjorie, have reserved. I had a bad been married, divorced. seven children between them.] stuttering problem, I have a blended famMy kids want me more as their so there wasn’t a lot ily. I’ve been rich and See video of that was funny to me. dad than anything, so they don’t poor. I’ve worked all Harvey with his most memorable care that I’m on TV. They come But I broke my stuttypes of jobs. I’ve failed guest (hint: and talk to me about regular tering habit right miserably. That’s a lot the Secret Service was involved) stuff, about problems they’re before high school of experience, a lot of at Parade dealing with. Being famous and became extrogood stuff to talk .com/harvey doesn’t change the rules of verted in college. about on TV.

Steve Harvey

parenting. It can have its perks, though. I got my daughter tickets to see [R&B star] Trey Songz in concert and that made me king for a month!

You run a youth-mentoring program. Did you have a mentor?

My father. He was a coal miner in West Virginia, and he wouldn’t allow me to be lazy. I remember him telling me, “One day, son, there’s going to be a woman and kids counting on you, and you have to be the type of man to get up and make it happen. So we’re going to start practicing now.” My daddy would be proud of me today, that’s for sure. If you are a boy without a male role model, it’s like being an explorer without a map, so it’s important to get the right figures in front of boys.

How do you spend Sundays?

I watch a lot of inspirational programming—Joel Osteen, Bishop T. D. Jakes, or Tony Evans. Then it’s on to the football games! My son orders pizza, and I just cool out with my wife and kids. The weekends are family time.

What would people be surprised to know about you?

I only have one pair of blue jeans, and I never wear them.

I love suits and dressing up.

When I’m at home, I like silk pajamas and a cashmere bathrobe. That combination feels pretty good!

PHOTO: JEFFERY ALLAN SALTER/CORBIS OUTLINE

S

teve Harvey has hardly had a moment to sit down since retiring from stand-up last summer. He’s behind the mic every weekday morning with his syndicated radio program, and he juggles hosting duties on both Family Feud and his eponymous daytime talk show, recently renewed for a second season.

“I’ve had a job ever since I was 10 years old with my first paper route,” says Harvey, 56, who won the People’s Choice Award for Favorite New Talk Show Host in January. “I’m hustling it as hard as I can. I’m talking outof-breath–type hustling!” The veteran performer talks to Erin Hill about family, fashion, and being funny.

18 • FEBRUARY 17, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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“Nutrisystem taught me how to stop dieting and start living!”

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BEFORE

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Marie Osmond is a world-famous entertainer, a successful businesswoman and a mom…but she wasn’t healthy.

Determined to better herself for the sake of her family, she tried Nutrisystem. Today, she’s healthy, happy and loving life!

I gradually got heavier over time. My mother had carried extra weight most of her life, and that made her look older. As I approached my 50s, I was 50 pounds overweight, tired all the time, and definitely looked older—and felt older. I started to think, Like mother, like daughter.

I was always doing things for my family first, but I knew it was finally time to focus on me.

Women tend to spend a lot of time caring for everyone else but spend zero time for ourselves; I certainly did. But as the saying goes, If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. I wanted to do something great for me—get healthy—so I could do something great for my family.

POUNDS* Counting, measuring, weighing in—I’ve been there. Weight loss plans, I’ve tried them all.

Thankfully, I found Nutrisystem. It’s the only one that worked for me. It’s simple— they send you food, you just heat it up and enjoy it—and it taught me how to eat right.

Nutrisystem took the struggle out of weight loss. I lost 50 pounds* and now I feel wonderful!

I look and feel better in my clothes, too. In fact, my daughter found an amazing costume that I wore as a teen and dared me to try it on. It fit! Plus, I retired my “mom jeans”—now I can wear skinny jeans!

*Results not typical. On Nutrisystem, you can expect to lose at least 1-2 lbs. per week. Weight lost on a prior Nutrisystem program. Continuing with Success.

†Offer good on new 28-Day Core and Select Auto-Delivery plans only. Not valid on Basic plan. Pricing varies with plan selected. Free shipping Continental US only. With this offer you receive an additional discount off the Full Retail Value with each consecutive 28-Day Auto-Delivery order as long as you are on program. With Auto-Delivery, you are automatically charged and shipped your 28-Day program once every 4 weeks unless you cancel. You can cancel Auto-Delivery at any time by calling 1-800-727-8046. Other restrictions apply. Call or see website for details. The Nutrisystem Select program is available to Continental U.S. residents only and cannot be shipped to PO Boxes, APO Boxes or military addresses.

Cannot be combined with any prior or current discount or offer. Limit one offer per customer. ©2013 Nutrisystem, Inc. All rights reserved.

Nutrisystem is allowing customers to lock in 2012 prices on every consecutive 28-Day order delivered while on program. That’s a 40% savings on each consecutive 28-Day order while you remain on program. †† If you’re not 100% satisfied, call within 14 days of receiving your first 28-Day order and return the remaining non-frozen food to us for a full refund. We’ll even cover return shipping. Limit one guarantee per customer.

On Nutrisystem you add in fresh grocery items.

It’s not being skinny that makes me happy; it’s that I’m healthier.

Most important, now I can enjoy family time more. I have more energy doing things with my four younger children than I had with my four older children. Plus, I’m just happy and loving life so much! So losing weight made me a better mom— because I’m a happier mom. Simply put, I can honestly say that losing weight with Nutrisystem has completely changed my life. It can change yours, too.

OVED NEW & IMPR

OUR BEST PROGRAM EVER!

FRESH START SALES EVENT! LOCK IN LAST YEAR’S PRICES TODAY!

SAVE 40%!

†

(on our most popular 28-Day Auto-Delivery plans only)

TAKE THE NUTRISYSTEM 14-DAY CHALLENGE— YOU’LL LOVE IT OR IT’S FREE!††

CALL 1-888-925-DIET (3438) OR CLICK NUTRISYSTEM.COM/PAR313 © PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

OVED NEW & IMPR OUR BEST PROGRAM EVER!

BEFORE

MARIE OSMOND LOST 50

POUNDS* ORDER NOW & YOU’LL GET: OVER 150 menu choices— including OVER 30 NEW & IMPROVED foods!

LOSE WEIGHT EAT GREAT & SAVE MONEY WITH AMERICA’S #1 HOME DELIVERY WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM!

GET A FRESH START ON A NEW YOU with Nutrisystem Success! You’ll get a HEALTHY MEAL PLAN that’s high-protein, high-fiber and low-GI to help you feel fuller longer. Plus! It’s a GREAT VALUE—enjoy a delicious breakfast, lunch, dinner & dessert every day for † LESS THAN $10 A DAY!

FREE SHIPPING right to your door†

FREE MEMBERSHIP and online support

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE because we’re sure you’re going to love it!††

breakfast

lunch

dinner

dessert

FRESH START SALES EVENT! LOCK IN LAST YEAR’S PRICES TODAY!

SAVE 40%!

†

(on our most popular 28-Day Auto-Delivery plans only)

TAKE THE NUTRISYSTEM 14-DAY CHALLENGE— YOU’LL LOVE IT OR IT’S FREE!††

*Results not typical. On Nutrisystem, you

can expect to lose at least 1-2 lbs. per week.

Weight lost on a prior Nutrisystem program.

Continuing with Success.

CALL 1-888-492-THIN (8446) OR CLICK NUTRISYSTEM.COM/par413

†Offer good on new 28-Day Core and Select Auto-Delivery plans only. Not valid on Basic plan. Pricing varies with plan selected. Free shipping Continental US only. With this offer you receive an additional discount off the Full Retail Value with each consecutive 28-Day Auto-Delivery order as long as you are on program. With Auto-Delivery, you are automatically charged and shipped your 28-Day program once every 4 weeks unless you cancel. You can cancel Auto-Delivery at any time by calling 1-800-727-8046. Other restrictions apply. Call or see website for details. The Nutrisystem Select program is available to Continental U.S. residents only and cannot be shipped to PO Boxes, APO Boxes or military addresses. Cannot be combined with any prior or current discount or offer. Limit one offer per customer. ©2013 Nutrisystem, Inc. All rights reserved. Nutrisystem is allowing customers to lock in 2012 prices on every consecutive 28-Day order delivered while on program. That’s a 40% savings on each consecutive 28-Day order while you remain on program. †† If you’re not 100% satisfied, call within 14 days of receiving your first 28-Day order and return the remaining non-frozen food to us for a full refund. We’ll even cover return shipping. Limit one guarantee per customer.

On Nutrisystem you add in fresh grocery items.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Š PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.