Parade 03-31

S U N D AY, M A R C H 3 1 , 2 0 1 3

A Heartfelt

Thank

You

With her return to Good Morning America, Robin Roberts celebrates the doctors, family, and friends who helped get her there

Roberts, photographed in New York City on Feb. 28, wears both a beaded bracelet given to her by her niece Judith and her own Prayer for Protection wristband (available at bethematch.org)

Š PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

T ’S

PARADE

GO TO PARADE.COM/GH FOR A NEW VIDEO EVERY DAY THIS WEEK, AS ANTHONY GEARY, GENIE FRANCIS, MAURICE BENARD, AND MORE ANSWER YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS.

WALTER SCOTT ASKS…

Find out what book Nathan is reading for the fifth time at parade.com /fillion

NATHAN FILLION

The actor, 42, stars as mystery novelist Rick Castle on ABC’s hit series Castle (Mondays).

Castle’s 100th episode airs on April 1. How does that feel? At my age, I don’t have a lot of “firsts” anymore, so this is very exciting. I’ve been acting a long time, and I finally have this milestone.

Your character is charming, intelligent, attractive.

How much of him is you?

All the good parts—especially the good-looking part. That’s so me. [laughs] He also has flaws, so I think he’s easy to like. In all my characters, I try to find an iota of myself, and in Castle, I found a lot. He gets away with a lot, so that’s fun.

You got your first break on the soap opera One Life to Live. Is there ere camaraderie among former soap stars? Absolutely. It’s like a secret society.

We did a one-hour story every day with no hiatus, and it was incredibly redibly challenging. I don’t think anyone else knows what hard work it is. s.

How do you like to spend your free time? I like doing things where ere I can get dirty, work with my hands, and use power tools. Last weekend, I did some grouting.

Send questions to personality@parade.com or P.O. Box 5001, Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10163-5001.

Q: Is it true that Fred Astaire wasn’t the first choice to star in Easter Parade? —Mike T., Aspen A: Yes; the role of Don Hewes was slated for Gene Kelly, who broke his ankle playing football three days before filming began. So Judy Garland and Fred Astaire in Easter Parade >

with Kelly’s blessing, sing, Astaire re came out off retirement to play ay opposite Judy Garland.

The 1948 musical will air on Turner er Classic Movies es today (6 p.m. m. ET).

GENERAL HOSPITAL STARS TELL ALL!

Dwayne Johnson

Q: Did Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson play with G.I. Joes as a child? —Meg T., Venice, Fla.

A: “Not only did I play with them, I pretended I was G.I. Joe,” says the actor, 40.

“In my world, my G.I. Joes and Star Wars action figures coexisted in relative peace and harmony—until I made one of my Joes slow-dance with Princess Leia. Inevitably, my Han Solo doll would take offense and swing at Joe!” Johnson stars as Roadblock in G.I. G Joe: Retaliation theaters now). (in theat was sad that 666 Q: I wa Park Avenue was Park canceled. What’s can next for Vanessa n Williams?

Hugh Dancy

Q: Did Hugh Dancy watch the Hannibal Lecter films to prepare for his role in Hannibal? —June C., Adel, Ga. A: “I didn’t,” says the actor, 37. “I read Red Dragon, Thomas Harris’s second book [on which the NBC series, premiering April 4, is loosely based]. I wish I had that on every job.” And filming in Toronto hasn’t separated him from his wife, Claire Danes, and 3-month-old son, Cyrus.

“The family is all here,” he says. “That’s been great to come home to.”

—Tony B., Reno

A: Fans can see Williams, 50, in W Tyler Tyl Perry’s Temptation tati (in theaters now), now and she’ll star on Broadway this Br spring sprin with Cuba Gooding Jr. Jr and Cicely Tyson in The The Trip to Bountiful.

“I was lucky to be unemployed for a week or so and to be offered a lot of different things,” she says. <

Vanessa W Williams

SUNDAY

FREEBIE

Enter for a chance to win a copy of The Dick Van Dyke Show: The Complete First Season on Blu-ray, signed by the star himself, at parade.com/win

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: DAN BUSTA/CORBIS OUTLINE; ETHAN MILLER/GETTY IMAGES; STEVE MACK/GETTY IMAGES; PETER KRAMER/BRAVO; EVERETT COLLECTION

T WA L

COT ER S

2 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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GAME OF THRONES “He’s in a very dangerous place,” says Kit Harington, whose Jon Snow (left) “has the White Walkers to deal with” on season three of this epic fantasy series (HBO, March 31). Another reason to tune in: The splendid Ciarán Hinds and sp Diana Rigg join the cast.

Dian

Parade rade

O

6

HISTORY’S BEST HOAXES

In 1996, Taco Bell announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell.

The White House joined in, adding that the Lincoln Memorial had been sold and was now the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

197 0

T Se om 1 a gl 9-s ver ov tr ’s e ike ou t

AFTER LIFE A AFT FTER LIFE In this fascinating novel, Kate Atkinson takes her English En ngl g ish herothrough ine, Ursula, thr hrough both world wars in a series of stop-andstart lives and “what if?” scenarios. It’s a pontour de force that pon onders memory and déjà vu—and puts history on a ve very r human scale.

1909 The British paper the Guardian ran a special report in 1977 on the republic of San Serriffe, an archipelago (Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse) shaped like a semicolon. Thousands of readers were duped.

Go to parade.com /pranks for tricks you can try at home.

BIG LEAGUE

Honus Wagner card, considered the holy grail to many collectors

For true fans, there’s nothing like a pilgrimage to Cooperstown, N.Y. But Inside the Baseball Hall of Fame may be the next best thing: This beautiful new anthology features photos of nearly 200 artifacts from the game, including many that are rarely, if ever, on display. Take a peek at parade.com/baseball.

GOOD EGGS

All your kids need to make these fun, last-minute Easter decorations is an old silk tie, scarf, or handkerchief (left) or some ready-to-melt crayons (right). Learn how at dashrecipes.com/fun.

PHOTOS, FROM TOP: HELEN SLOAN/HBO; COURTESY OF NATIONAL BASEBALL HALL OF FAME AND MUSEUM AND SIMON & SCHUSTER INC, NY (3); PHILIP FICKS

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W h illi ho it hi e M a m s 5 ay wi n N e ru 12t s th L r n h th ec (th is or en ba d) t

YO QUIER

4 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Kennections

By Ken Jennings HOW TO PLAY

All five correct answers have something in common.

Can you figure out what it is?

1. What is the name of “Barbie’s Little Sister,” a doll first released by Mattel in 1964?

✎ 2. On what 1950s TV anthology did the never-seen John Beresford Tipton write a huge check to a new beneficiary every week?

✎ 3. An “uxorious” man is, by definition, extremely devoted to whom?

✎ 4. According to the 1964 hit “My Guy,” Mary Wells and her guy are fine “when it comes to being happy,” even though he may not be what?

✎ 5. By what title were both Woodrow Wilson and J. R. R. Tolkien known, for the job each held before finding fame in politics and fiction?

✎ WHAT’S THE “KENNECTION” BETWEEN ALL FIVE ANSWERS?

✎

Play trivia puzzles by Ken Jennings and readers at parade.com/ken ANSWERS: 1. SKIPPER; 2. THE MILLIONAIRE; 3. HIS WIFE; 4. A MOVIE STAR; 5. PROFESSOR ALL ARE GILLIGAN’S ISLAND CASTAWAYS

PHOTO: ANDY REYNOLDS

MAKE MORE KENNECTIONS!

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

The Doctors “Talk about a dream team,” says Roberts of her handpicked medical experts, Dr. Sergio Giralt (left), a specialist in bone marrow transplants, and Dr. Gail Roboz, a leukemia specialist.

“I’ve admired most Robin’s desire to make the best out of it,” says Dr. Giralt. Adds Dr. Roboz, “She’s doing a tremendous thing, getting the word out about MDS.”

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

“

I’m

Stronger than I Thought I was A

”

s the voice of James Brown singing “I Feel Good” bounces off the walls of a Manhattan photo studio, Robin Roberts begins dancing exuberantly, a broad smile on her face. It’s been a week since the Good Morning America anchor returned to work amid great fanfare after five months of grueling medical treatments, and she is relishing a sense of normalcy. On this morning’s show, she was treated simply like one of the gang; her illness was not mentioned. “I just walked in,” she says, “and even the members of the crew were like, ‘All right. Now we’re back.’ ” Known for her upbeat personality, Roberts, 52, has had a physically and emotionally excruciating year. Diagnosed with a life-threatening blood disease, she endured chemotherapy, a bone marrow transplant, and months in the hospital and at home in virtual isolation to protect her fragile immune system. In the midst of this battle, her beloved mother, Lucimarian, died of complications from a stroke. Roberts says she now feels her mother’s presence with her. “Yesterday was a rainy day, and when the sun came through, I thought, ‘That’s Mom.’ ” Ever resilient, Roberts has come through her ordeal (“really terrible, hard, yucky days I never want to relive or think about again”) with gratitude toward

After facing her fears over a life-threatening illness, the Good Morning America anchor is back and better than ever.

“I don’t want to plan,” she says. “In a year’s time, I want to still be able to say to you, I am in the moment.”

By MERYL GORDON Cover and opening photographs by MILLER MOBLEY

MARCH 31, 2013 • 7

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

colleagues (from left) Josh Elliott, Sam Champion, Lara Spencer, and George Stephanopoulos on Feb. 20.

I know, she’s calling every specialist in the world.” Roberts’s eyes well with tears. “She puts her life on hold when someone close to her is going through something like this.”

Together, Sawyer and Besser researched treatments and doctors while keeping Roberts’s illness a secret at ABC News for nearly six weeks. “We were like a little tiger team, the three of us,” says Besser.

“People wondered, why is Diane in Rich’s office with the door closed?” Roberts and Besser then interviewed doctors together: He vetted the medical aspects while she sought an emotional comfort level. She chose Dr. Sergio Giralt, a specialist in bone marrow transplants at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, and Dr. Gail Roboz, a leukemia specialist at NewYorkPresbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center. The three of them

HowYou Can Help There is a great need for bone marrow donors, according to Be the Match, particularly for people between the ages of 18 and 44 and those from non-Caucasian, multiracial, and multiethnic backgrounds. To join the donor registry, simply fill out a questionnaire at bethematch.org.

If you meet the qualifications, you’ll be mailed a cheek swab kit to send back. By joining the registry, you are making a commitment to donate to any patient in need if called to do so. —Vi-An Nguyen

treated; that night, the sisters got word that their mother was on her deathbed. (Their father, Lawrence Roberts, a retired air force colonel and a pilot with the World War II Tuskegee Airmen, died in 2004.) “I believe Mom held on until she was sure that Robin had what she needed,” Sally-Ann says. They flew home to Pass Christian, Miss., and arrived in time to say goodbye.

R

oberts’s doctors feared that her grief might jeopardize her medical battle. “It was ripping her apart,” says Dr. Roboz. “ We were extremely worried about her psychologically.” Roberts says the two doctors comforted her by saying, “Now you don’t have to worry about your mother, and she doesn’t have to worry about you.” The next stage of her treatment, chemotherapy, left the anchor and lifelong athlete weak and exhausted. During the transplant, she was touched when Dr. Giralt not only cried— “That’s how much he cares about his patients”—but prayed as well. “I love a doctor who can respect that there’s somebody else on your team, and that’s God,” she says.

Sawyer and GMA weatherman Sam Champion were with her when she had the transplant. “I was being given life, and they were there,” she says. “People call them colleagues, and I’m like, ‘Colleagues don’t come to your room when you’re about to be reborn. These are the people that you love, who are close to you.’ They’re family to me.”

Champion and GMA coanchor Josh Elliott got permission to visit Roberts in the hospital “at a point when seeing her required two big

PHOTO, THIS PAGE: HEIDI GOUTMAN/ABC. OPPOSITE: COURTESY OF ABC

BACK AT WORK With her GMA

have now spent so much time together that they share a wisecracking rapport.

One of the diciest parts of Roberts’s treatment was finding a bone marrow match. The best chance for a perfect match is often within the same ethnicity or race, and there are relatively few African-Americans in the donor registry (for more information on the need for a variety of donors, see the box below).

There’s also only a onein-four chance that a sibling— Rober ts has three: Dorothy, a social worker; Sally-Ann, an anchor at WWL-TV in New Orleans; and Butch, a high school teacher and basketball coach—will be a match. It was an edge-of-theseat moment, but a swab test revealed that “Robin had a perfect donor,” says Dr. Giralt. “Sally-Ann was a 10 out of 10 match. There’s no substitute for that.”

Sally-Ann Roberts remembers “screaming” with joy when Robin phoned with the news, but she was startled by her sister’s next remark.

“Robin said, ‘Do you want to do this?’ I said, ‘Why would you ask me that?’ I was really surprised at how difficult it was for her to be the one in need.” Robin, the baby of the family, admits that her sister is right.

“I want to be the giver,” she says.

“It’s been very hard for me but very enlightening to understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end.”

Sally-Ann injected herself for five days with a drug to induce the production of stem cells. She stresses that she had no side effects and adds, “I am terribly afraid of needles, but it wasn’t a problem.” She then gave blood at Sloan-Kettering in New York, where Robin was being

COVER AND INSIDE: WARDROBE, DIANDRE TRISTAN; MAKEUP, ELENA GEORGE; HAIR, PETULA SKEETE; BLOUSE, BURBERRY; PANTS, ST. JOHN; PUMPS, STELLA MCCARTNEY; JEWELRY, JOHN HARDY

her siblings, her friends, her medical team, and the fans who showered her with prayers. “I have been mulling over how much more I have learned about myself through sorrow than through joy,” she says.

“I’m a better, stronger, more complete person because of these trials and tribulations.”

Her challenges began in 2007 when she was treated for an aggressive form of breast cancer. Five years later, she felt bone-wearying exhaustion while covering the Oscars. After undergoing tests, she pressed her doctor on the phone for the results. “He went, ‘You really need to come in,’ ” she recalls, “and I said, ‘Just give me an idea of what it could possibly be.’ That’s when he said myelodysplastic syndrome, MDS. I kept for the longest time the piece of paper where I first spelled it out.” MDS is a rare and potentially fatal group of diseases affecting the blood and bone marrow; in severe instances it can transform into leukemia. Roberts’s case was likely caused by her earlier cancer treatment. Reeling, she called ABC medical correspondent Dr. Richard Besser. “I needed someone to help me understand what the heck was going on,” she says. “He kind of talked me off the ledge.” A few days later, Roberts ran into her good friend Diane Sawyer.

“I just blurted it out. The next thing

8 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

scrub-downs and putting on protective gloves and masks,” recalls Elliott. Their get-well gifts included shaggy green slippers with frog faces. “Little did I know when I put on those froggy slippers that they would take on a life of their own,” says Roberts, whose friends then bought them in solidarity. “Oprah still wears them. Come on, you’re wearing frogs on your feet! How can you be in a bad mood?”

Once back in her apartment, Roberts lived in a sterile cocoon— her Jack Russell terrier, K. J. (Killer Jack), stayed with friends for months—and she had a

SISTER ACT In June 2012 with her

10 out of 10 match, Sally-Ann.

morning ritual of counting the days. “First thing, I’d get out of bed, cross the room, and put the new day on the calendar with a marker,” she says. “If you can get to 100 days, you’re probably going to be okay—though it doesn’t mean you won’t have complications.” The relief is still tangible in her voice as she recalls going in for tests and hearing her doctors say, “You have no abnormalities.”

“I was like, ‘Say that again?’ ” Roberts is doing well, but recurrences are not unusual with MDS, so she is helping her cause by participating in clinical trials.

“We’re all anxious for this to be in the rear-view mirror,” says Dr. Roboz, “but we’re not there yet.”

The anchor’s eyesight remains blurry, making it hard for her to read the teleprompter. “I don’t panic,” she says. “I just have to give [my coanchors] a look and they’ll start talking; they’ve got my back.”

She is susceptible to colds and infections and has been told to avoid handshakes and kisses, but she seems to crave human contact, rushing outside on her first day back at GMA to elbow-bump fans.

Dr. Giralt has sent her emails urging her to be careful, though as he confides philosophically, “You could put her in a bubble and wrap her in Saran wrap, but this is who she is. This is part of her healing.”

Ask how her experience has changed her and Roberts says, “I’m stronger than I thought I was. My favorite phrase has been ‘This too shall pass.’ I now understand it really well.” To fight her fears, she practices yoga and visualization. “When I close my eyes, my happy place is Key West, coffee in hand, sunrise over the pier,” she says. “I can visualize that in the studio, and it has helped calm me.” She no longer feels that productivity means booking every hour of her day months in advance. “I don’t want to plan. In a year’s time I want to still be able to say to you, I am in the moment.”

In being extraordinarily open about her illness, Roberts aims to make people more aware of MDS and the need for bone marrow donors for many diseases. Barry Huff, a senior vice president of the activist organization Be the Match, says that the anchor’s candor has sparked an impressive response: 56,000 people signed up to be

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

SAY “RIBBIT!” Wearing the “froggy

potential donors after Roberts announced her diagnosis.

Nevertheless, being the center of attention has been uncomfortable for a journalist used to the other side of the microphone. The night before returning to GMA, Roberts spent an hour on the phone with Josh Elliott, bracing for the spotlight. He told her, “You have to let that love cascade over you.” Her sisters gave her similar advice. “They said, ‘Take your hands off the wheel.

Allow yourself to be loved,’ ” Roberts says. “It was very difficult, but it brought people joy to bring me joy.”

Roberts has struggled with a few “why me?” moments, but she takes solace in the knowledge that her experience has helped others. “I feel now more than ever that my life has purpose,” she says. “I think that I am being used for light and love and resilience. For whatever reason, I’m able to touch people, and I’m so grateful for that.”

See Robin’s Return to GMA For video of the anchor’s joyous first day back on the show, go to parade.com/roberts

PHOTO: COURTESY OF ROBIN ROBERTS

slippers” that Champion, left, and Elliott gave her in the hospital.

10 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

SAY “RIBBIT!” Wearing the “froggy

potential donors after Roberts announced her diagnosis.

Nevertheless, being the center of attention has been uncomfortable for a journalist used to the other side of the microphone. The night before returning to GMA, Roberts spent an hour on the phone with Josh Elliott, bracing for the spotlight. He told her, “You have to let that love cascade over you.” Her sisters gave her similar advice. “They said, ‘Take your hands off the wheel.

Allow yourself to be loved,’ ” Roberts says. “It was very difficult, but it brought people joy to bring me joy.”

Roberts has struggled with a few “why me?” moments, but she takes solace in the knowledge that her experience has helped others. “I feel now more than ever that my life has purpose,” she says. “I think that I am being used for light and love and resilience. For whatever reason, I’m able to touch people, and I’m so grateful for that.”

See Robin’s Return to GMA For video of the anchor’s joyous first day back on the show, go to parade.com/roberts

PHOTO: COURTESY OF ROBIN ROBERTS

slippers” that Champion, left, and Elliott gave her in the hospital.

10 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

A stunning display of faith to wear close to your heart.

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Table

MORE TIPS LEMONY SAUTÉ

Around the

Trim woody ends from 1½ lb asparagus.

Cut spears into 1-inch bits.

In a large skillet, sauté asparagus in 1 Tbsp olive oil over medium until tender. Stir in 1½ tsp finely grated lemon zest, ½ tsp salt, and ¼ tsp black pepper and cook 1 minute. Makes 4 (50-calorie) servings.

ITALIAN SALAD

Go Healthy!

Trim woody ends from 1½ lb asparagus. Peel each spear. Blanch in boiling water 3 minutes, drain, and run under cold water. Blot dry. Top with 1 Tbsp each olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Season with ½ tsp salt, ¼ tsp black pepper, and 2 Tbsp grated Parmesan. Makes 4 (60-calorie) servings.

light bright Celebrate spring with our low-cal version of a rich and creamy favorite

For complete nutritional info, visit

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Just a Trim

ASPARAGUS SOUP

Trim woody ends from 2 lb asparagus; reserve tips of 8 spears. Cut remaining asparagus into ½-inch pieces. In a large saucepan, warm 3 Tbsp olive oil over low heat. Add 1 chopped onion, 2 chopped stalks celery, and 1 chopped

To remove the woody end from an asparagus spear, hold the spear at the middle and bend the bottom with your other hand until it snaps.

The stalk will naturally break at the perfect spot.

carrot; cook 3 minutes. Add 1½ tsp minced garlic; cook 1 minute. Add asparagus, ¼ tsp salt, and ¼ tsp black pepper; cook 5 minutes.

Add 5 cups reducedsodium chicken broth.

Simmer, covered, 20 minutes. Blanch tips in boiling water 3 minutes. Drain.

Puree soup in batches

in a blender. Return to saucepan over medium; add ½ cup evaporated 2% milk and 1 tsp lemon juice. Warm through (don’t let simmer). Top with tips.

Add a sprinkle of Parmesan (optional). Serves 4.

PER SERVING: 170 cal, 13g

carbs, 7g protein, 11g fat, 5mg chol, 790mg sodium, 3g fiber

EGGSTRA SPECIAL You don’t want to miss our recipe-packed iPad issue. Get it for free at parade.com/eggs

PHOTOS, FROM LEFT: RAY KACHATORIAN/GETTY IMAGES; SHERI GIBLIN. NUTRITION ANALYSIS/CONSULTING: JEANINE SHERRY, M.S., R.D.

CAJUN SPICED

Trim woody ends from 1¼ lb asparagus; arrange on a parchmentlined baking sheet.

Toss with 1 Tbsp olive oil, 1 tsp Cajun seasoning, and ½ tsp salt. Roast in a 400°F oven until tender, about 15 minutes. Makes 4 (45-calorie) servings.

12 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Ask Marilyn

By Marilyn vos Savant

My daughter just had her heart “broken.” She didn’t have a heart attack, but it felt like one. What causes the physical pain? —D. O., Oregon

The medical term is stress cardiomyopathy. Symptoms may include chest pain and shortness of breath. When a susceptible person is suddenly walloped by a massive amount of stress hormones, part of the heart’s main pumping chamber may stretch and weaken.

Triggers can range from an emotional breakup to learning of the death of a loved one.

The event is not a classic heart attack, but it can stun the heart into malfunctioning.

One should seek medical care promptly. Damage to the heart muscle is possible, depending on one’s underlying conditions, which may have contributed to the episode in the first place.

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From Brunch for a bunch to spring sweets & fun crafts, you can’t beat our recipe-packed iPad issue.

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By Connie Schultz

A Million Ways to “Lean In” For working mothers, there’s no such thing as one right path

A

bout a year ago, a reporter asked if I had a photo from the early days of my journalism career.

I found only one picture, taken in 1988 by my son, Andy.

What a sight. I’m 30, sitting on the floor by the coffee table wearing goggle-glasses, a bathrobe, and big-hair bangs that look as if they were chopped with nail clippers. Nine-monthold Caitlin is on my lap, her hands reaching for mine as I peck away on my Smith Corona.

I was a freelance writer on deadline. Looking at that picture, I can still feel the fatigue and the pride of that moment.

This was my version of having it all, or as much as I could handle.

Six years would pass before I took a job at a newspaper. By then, I was also a single mother.

The trajectory of my adult life—from stay-at-home mom to part-time worker to full-time employee—was not uncommon for my generation. We were the direct beneficiaries of the women’s movement, wrestling with options. Like many of my friends, I cobbled together as best I could the modern feminist’s life. A parenting group was my lifeline. We talked about kids and husbands, but we also dared to imagine out loud our future careers. Over

YOU HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE

That’s me, at age 30: a freelance writer and mom, trying to have it all.

the years, one by one, we found our way into new professions.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that time in my life after reading Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In. I gave the book a mixed review for the Washington Post, but I emphasized that I was buying it for my daughters and daughterin-law. I want them to read it and talk about it with one another and their friends. I also hope it gives them a little insight into the choices I made. Increasingly, I’m feeling the need to explain myself.

Sandberg encourages young women not to make incremental decisions for their careers based on future plans, particularly when it comes to having children. “Don’t leave before you leave,” she writes, and it’s

We’d love to hear how other women have managed their families and careers. Join the conversation at parade.com/connie

good advice. I bristle, though, at the notion that women who sideline their careers to have children are putting a permanent brake on their ambition.

It wasn’t true for me, nor for many women I know.

One of my best friends, Gaylee McCracken, was a stayat-home mom, an artist, and a high-octane volunteer. When her kids were in high school, she started medical school. She was 42. “I’m going to be 50 someday anyway,” she said. “I may as well be 50 and a doctor.”

Today, at 60, Gaylee is beloved by her patients, most of whom are women. Looking back on her life so far, she can easily see a narrative unfold.

“I was meant to be a healer,” she told me recently. “I was 7 when I took care of my mother, when she had cancer. I raised two great kids, and I’m stronger today because I was a parent.

Now I’m taking care of women.”

Gaylee and I were workingclass kids who grew up thinking anything was possible if you gave it your all and had a friend or two who believed in you. On the day she graduated from medical school, we danced to Motown at the reception while others politely sipped their tea.

Sandberg is right to encourage young women to imagine the biggest, brightest lives for themselves. I hope her book launches a million conversations. There are at least that many ways to compose a life, and there will always be roads not taken, no matter how high we climb.

PHOTO: COURTESY OF CONNIE SCHULTZ

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14 • MARCH 31, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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