Parade 10-28 by The Southern Illinoisan

S U N D A Y , O C T O B E R 2 8 , 2 0 12 12

Pippa Middleton and friend get in the spirit with the “Doughnut Tree” game (page 6)

Pippa’s

HALLOWEEN PARTY

EXCLUSIVE

DEVILISHLY FUN TRICKS AND TREATS FROM THAT OTHER OTHER FAMOUS MIDDLETON

Walter Scott’s

★★★ SPECIAL PECIAL COUNTRY COUNTR MUSIC EDITION ★★★ P Alan Jackson

WALTER SCOTT ASKS …

Q: So many country singers have gone pop. Would Alan Jackson ever go that route?

Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood Nominees Paisley, 40, and Underwood, 29, return to cohost the CMA Awards (Nov. 1, ABC) for a fifth time. Brad, how do you think you two have evolved as hosts?

We were scared to death the ﬁrst year, but we really have a good thing going now. Carrie’s got this graceful, beautiful, funny persona, and I’m sort of everything else! How many outﬁt changes are you planning this year, Carrie?

As many as I have time for! I’ve tried on a million dresses. Luckily, Brad lets me have the bigger dressing room. Brad, you’re celebrating a big birthday today. How do you feel about turning 40? I feel pretty good about it! I remem-

ber when my dad turned 40 and thinking what an old fart he was, and here I am. But it’s a different day and age.

What gift does Brad send Carrie every year before the CMAs? Find out at Parade .com/cma

Carrie, what do you think about Keith Urban as a judge on American Idol? I think it’s about time! There have been so

many country artists to come from the show, so why not get a country-loving judge in the mix? He’ll do a great job. Send questions to Walter Scott at personality@parade.com or to P.O. Box 5001, Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10163-5001.

—R. W. Scoville, Murrieta, Calif.

A: Although Jackson,

54, has no plans to stray from his country-soul ballads and modern honky-tonk, he praises artists like Taylor Swift and Zac Brown, who’ve found mainstream chart success. Whatever the style, true country music is “about being in love, getting your heart broke, drinkin’ and partyin’, livin’ and dyin’,” Jackson says. “A country song is a song about life.”

fge the Broadway revival of Annie Get Your Gun and in the sitcom Reba (2001–07), for which she earned a Golden Globe nomination.

is returning to TV in a new comedy. When was her ﬁrst acting gig?

Watkins, Berwyn, Ill.

—Joan K., Greensboro, N.C.

A: Life on the road is

pretty sweet for Scott, 26. Bandmates Charles Kelley, 31, and Dave Haywood, 30, let her have the back room of the bus all to herself. “The guys are very generous,” she says. “I have my own bed, bathroom, and TV back there. I don’t have a refrigerator, but I would never come out if I did!”

A: The singer, who

P Lady Antebellum

Q: Does Darius Rucker

P Reba McEntire

Q: How does Hillary Scott

Q: I hear Reba McEntire

survive being the only girl on Lady Antebellum’s tour bus? —Elizabeth

stars on Malibu Country (Nov. 2, ABC), made her big-screen debut in 1990’s Tremors, alongside Kevin Bacon. McEntire, 57, has since starred in

fans,” says Rucker, who originally rose to fame as the frontman for Hootie & the Blowﬁsh. As the newest member of the Grand Ole Opry, Rucker, 46, says his conversion to country was a lifelong dream. “People see it as a reinvention, but it’s felt like a natural evolution.”

SUNDAY

F∏EEBIE ENTER FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN

a signed copy of Blake Shelton’s new holiday album, Cheers, It’s Christmas, at Parade.com/win

think there’s a difference between country and rock fans? —J. Higgins, Georgia

A: “The biggest difference is the loyalty you have from country

P Darius Rucker

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: JEFF KRAVITZ/FILMMAGIC; RICK DIAMOND/GETTY IMAGES FOR COUNTRY THUNDER; CHRIS MCKAY/WIREIMAGE; RICK DIAMOND/GETTY IMAGES; JASON LAVERIS/FILMMAGIC

PARADE

2 • October 28, 2012

Get your

Free Credit Score & Complimentary Credit Report Only available in stores through November 15, 2012 From now until November 15, 2012, you can take advantage of this limited-time promotion. Knowing your credit score is key to understanding your entire ďŹ nancial picture. Stop by your local store today and start a conversation with a Wells Fargo banker to get your personal access code. This exclusive promotion for Wells Fargo customers provides unique beneďŹ ts: $12 value) to discuss your credit situation For more information, visit wellsfargo.com/freecreditscore

*Wells Fargo may, at its own discretion, limit the number of unique codes and/or cancel the free credit score and complimentary credit report promotion at any time. Your credit report will look like what a lender would see if the lender obtained your credit report at the same time. Your version is formatted to be more easily understood. Your credit score could vary by lender depending on the type of scoring used. The credit score you receive in this promotion probably will not be the same as the score obtained by a lender and is for educational purposes only. ÂŠ 2012 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. Member FDIC. NMLSR ID 399801 ÂŠ PARADE Publications 2012. All rights reserved.

Parade

It’s a MAD World

▼

CHECK, PLEASE!

The wonderful documentary Brooklyn Castle (now in theaters) is about many things: the prowess of a chess team at one inner-city middle school; the competition that focuses and inspires young players; how the program is perennially endangered by budget cuts. But it’s the kids, passionate about the game of kings, that you’ll remember most. (Rated PG)

Cartoon

Parade

years of pop culture parodies, Spy vs. Spy, and “What, Me Worry?” are captured in the sublimely silly book Totally MAD. From a takedown of Bonanza to a Justin Bieber Chia Pet, this lavishly illustrated volume pays tribute to the irreverent humor that has made MAD a favorite of generations of readers, including famous fans like Stephen Colbert (who cowrote the introduction). Vote for the best vintage pop culture cover, from a selection by MAD editor John Ficarra, at Parade.com/mad.

▼

Franklin D. Roosevelt Four Freedoms Park

Nearly 40 years after it was conceived, this exalted memorial to one of our greatest presidents—designed by Louis Kahn, one of our greatest architects—is ﬁnally ﬁnished. The park’s triangular shape, on the tip of New York’s Roosevelt Island, resembles the bow of a boat—a nod, perhaps, to FDR’s love of the sea.

5 Frightfully Fun Factoids About

HALLOWEEN

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Ron W Greene, Rallace of .I grown th ., has just P U M P K e largest IN in his tory. On Sept. 2 gourd we 8, the giant ighed in a t 2,009 pou nds.

HAR R the f H O U D I Y a N I, a mou

nd es s mag died cape art ician o i 86 ye n Oct. 31st, ars a go.

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: E. C. PUBLICATIONS INC (4); PETER DAZELEY/GETTY IMAGES; ISTOCKPHOTO. CARTOON: ROBERT SHOEMAKER

4 • October 28, 2012

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM MEDICARE

Don’t forget. Medicare Open Enrollment is the time to compare your current plan with all your options for 2013. By carefully comparing, you may ﬁnd better coverage, higher quality or lower cost. And with the health care law, people with Medicare are now eligible for a number of free* preventive beneﬁts, like annual wellness visits and some cancer screenings, as well as over 50% off brand name prescription drugs if you’re in the donut hole.

Medicare Open Enrollment: Now’s the time. *When using qualiﬁed and participating physicians or providers.

PLEASE KEEP THIS CONTACT INFORMATION FOR YOUR REFERENCE

Medicare Open Enrollment: October 15 – December 7, 2012

bewıtching By PIPPA MIDDLETON Photographs by DAVID LOFTUS

Our special Halloween treat for you:

IN THIS EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT FROM HER FIRST BOOK, CELEBRATE, THE STYLISH SISTER OF ENGLAND’S FUTURE QUEEN OFFERS TRICKS AND TREATS FOR A ROYALLY SPOOKY HOLIDAY of nothing more than curiosity. I can assure you that it feels even stranger to me than it probably does to you to have seen so much written about me when I have done so little to paint a picture of myself. This is my ﬁrst chance to do that, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I don’t think there’s a right way or a wrong way to celebrate. But I do strongly believe in the importance of bringing friends and family together. I have been lucky enough to grow up in a very close-knit family. The nurturing of friendship, family, and home feels more important than ever to me in a world that sometimes moves so fast that we forget what really matters. One of my fondest holidays is Halloween, which brings out the impish spirit in us all. Ghost stories and fairy tales depict creatures howling at the full moon, bats ﬂitting across troubled skies, and pumpkin lanterns glowing on windowsills to ward off bad spirits—scenes that evoke fright and mystery. On this night, trick-or-treaters take to the streets: Ghosts rub shoulders with trolls and

The Doughnut Tree

(pictured on cover) This is best played outside before it gets dark and cold. If you play indoors, line the floor with plenty of newspaper. If you have enough time in advance, hang other spooky decorations from the tree to conjure up a witchy atmosphere. You’ll need a tree with accessible branches. Using regular string or yarn, hang one doughnut per child, leaving space in between and dangling them from various heights to accommodate both tall and short players. (If indoors, you can hang them from a length of string across a room.) Each player stands by a doughnut, and when you yell, “Eat!” everyone must devour their doughnut as quickly as possible without using their hands. The first player to finish wins.

ALL PHOTOS © DAVID LOFTUS

It’s a bit startling to achieve global recognition (if that’s the right word) before the age of 30, on account of your sister, your brother-inlaw, and your bottom. One day, I might be able to make sense of this. In the meantime, I think it’s fair to say that it has its upside and its downside. I certainly have opportunities many can only dream of, but in most ways I’m a typical girl in her 20s trying to forge a career and represent herself in what can sometimes seem rather strange circumstances. I am by nature an optimist, so I tend to concentrate on the advantages. One of the most attractive has been the chance to publish a guide to home entertaining, structured around the seasons and based on my experience in my family’s party business and previous work for a London-based events company. I’ve always loved to write, so it seemed natural to try to combine this passion with my enjoyment for entertaining, an enthusiasm I hope to share with others. I know many of you may be reading this out 6 • October 28, 2012

Set the Scene 1. Floating Ghosts

Blow up white balloons, tie each to a cane or stick, and drape a white sheet over it. Tie the “neck” with string and use a black marker to draw the face. Stick the canes in the ground where you want each ghost to stand.

2. A Spooky Welcome Arrange glowing pumpkins where they will light up windows and the front door.

3. Spirited Place Cards Cut out Halloween silhouettes and write in silver pen.

4. Lollipop-Studded Pumpkin Cut a white paper napkin or paper towel into quarters. Place one piece of paper over the head of each lollipop and tie at the neck with white cotton thread. Draw on eyes with a black marker and stick into the pumpkin. Offer the candies as going-home treats.

PHOTO CREDITS WILL GO HERE AS SHOWN

3 Month 00, 2012 • 00

Pippa carried her sister Kate’s train at the royal wedding in April 2011. Her book Celebrate is out Oct. 30.

8 • October 28, 2012

Ghost Stories Share tales as the light begins to fade, with just a flashlight for

illumination. Get an enthusiastic storyteller to read from a classic book: Dr. Seuss, Grimm’s fairy tales, Frankenstein, Dracula, The Worst Witch, Roald Dahl’s ghost stories. Or you could let everyone take turns adding a few sentences to a story and see where it leads. (Check out a list of additional story suggestions at Parade.com/ghosts.)

Fun and Games THE MUMMY CHASE To play this game, you’ll need a yard or quiet street (and understanding neighbors), plus a stockpile of toilet paper. Divide the players into two teams. Each team nominates a mummy. Give each team a couple of toilet paper rolls and put on some Halloweenthemed music. As the music plays, each

team must wrap their mummy from head to toe, leaving just a small gap for the eyes and nose. Teams must use up all of their rolls. Once the mummiﬁcation is complete, set up a starting and ﬁnish line for a race between the mummies, who must complete it without their wrappings coming off. If the paper starts to unravel mid-race, they must return to the

starting line for emergency repairs. The ﬁrst mummy to ﬁnish with bandages intact wins.

LEAF RUBBING

Set up a table with colorful crayons and paper and send the children off on a hunt for autumnal leaves in interesting shapes and textures. Have each child lay a piece of paper over a leaf and rub it with the side of a

crayon, to create skeletal pictures of nature.

PUMPKIN BOWLING

Before Halloween, save up 10 small plastic bottles for pins. You can give them the appearance of ghosts by pouring in two inches of white glossy paint and a drop of thinner and shaking to coat the insides. Add faces to the outsides with a black marker.

PHOTO, TOP LEFT: SAMIR HUSSEIN/WIREIMAGE

hobgoblins, witches ride their broomsticks, and Frankenstein’s monsters seem to emerge out of nowhere. Many of the elements of today’s celebration have their origins in Celtic Ireland and the festival of Samhain and are heralded by the falling leaves of autumn, which signify death. Spirits of those who had died in the previous year were thought to return to Earth in search of living bodies to inhabit. The Celts would disguise themselves in ghoulish costumes, hoping that the spirits would mistake them for one of their own kind and pass them by. As a child, I felt that Halloween was a time when creatures of the night suddenly came to life—we would turn off all the lights in the house and let ﬂickering candlelight conjure up scary shadows and imaginary ﬁgures lurking in dark corners. Nowadays, I frequently celebrate Halloween over a supper with friends. It’s a wonderful excuse to let your imagination run riot with gory-looking food and special effects: Stir witchy cauldrons of pumpkin soup; hang homemade spiders inside window nooks; string cobwebs on tables; and haunt gardens, attics, and stairways with ghosts made from sheets. Mix and match store-bought items with things you have at home and make your celebration as elaborate or as low-key as you like. It needn’t cost a fortune; just a simply carved pumpkin lit up among glimmering candles will go a long way to producing the right atmosphere.

continued on page 12

Kennections By Ken Jennings HOW TO PLAY

All five correct answers have something in common. Can you figure out what it is?

1. Beethoven’s Eroica was his third and Haydn’s Surprise was his 94th of what type of musical composition?

✎ 2. What Nevada county, home to the city of Las Vegas, shares its name with a famous Western explorer (though isn’t named for him)?

✎ 3. This month, where did the Curiosity rover gather soil samples near the foothills of Mount Sharp?

✎ 4. What’s the feline name of the club where Liza Minnelli performs in the movie Cabaret?

✎ 5. The fourth chapter of what classic novel is titled “The Shoulder of Athos, the Baldric of Porthos and the Handkerchief of Aramis”?

✎ WHAT’S THE “KENNECTION” BETWEEN ALL FIVE ANSWERS?

✎

At Parade.com/ken you can try more than 50 trivia puzzles from Ken and PARADE readers. Submit your own, too! ANSWERS: 1. SYMPHONY; 2. CLARK; 3. MARS; 4. KIT KAT; 5. THE THREE MUSKETEERS ALL ARE CANDY BAR NAMES

PHOTO: ANDY REYNOLDS

HOOKED ON KENNECTIONS? PLAY THEM ONLINE!

Kenneth C. Davis is the author of Don’t Know Much About® the American Presidents (Hyperion). 1. (c). Martin Van Buren was the ﬁrst president born after 1776. 2. (a). James Madison declared the War of 1812, which at the time was called the “Second War of Independence.” 3. (c). Warren G. Harding was elected in 1920, the year millions of women

ﬁrst exercised their right to vote for president. 4. (b). Robert Frost recited “The Gift Outright” from memory at JFK’s 1961 inaugural. He was unable to read the poem he had written for the occasion, “Dedication,” due to the glare off the snow that had fallen the day before.

5. Theodore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, Jimmy Carter, and Barack Obama. Carter’s prize came after he left ofﬁce; the others won the prize while president. 6. (b). Schoolteacher Abigail Fillmore met her future husband, Millard, when he was a pupil in her classroom!

7. (a). John Tyler became the 10th president when William Henry Harrison died 31 days after he was sworn into ofﬁce. Dubbed “His Accidency,” Tyler took ofﬁce with no precedent and had to struggle to establish his legitimacy. (He symbolically returned any mail addressed to him as “Acting President.”)

8. (a). John Quincy Adams served as a representative from Massachusetts from 1831 to 1848, when he collapsed on the House ﬂoor from a cerebral hemorrhage. 9. Abraham Lincoln, James A. Garﬁeld, William McKinley, and John F. Kennedy.

10. (c). Lyndon B. Johnson nominated Thurgood Marshall in 1967. Before that, Marshall, as a lawyer, argued more than 30 cases before the U.S. Supreme Court, including the landmark Brown v. Board of Education, in which the Court ruled that public school segregation was illegal. ANSWERS

Who named the ﬁrst African-American Supreme Court justice? (a) Franklin D. Roosevelt (b) John F. Kennedy (c) Lyndon B. Johnson

Which woman was the ﬁrst to pursue her career before she

✎ Name two of the four presidents to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Who was the ﬁrst poet to take part in a presidential inauguration? (a) Walt Whitman (b) Robert Frost (c) Maya Angelou

✎

2 1

Which four presidents were assassinated?

Which former president was elected to the House of Representatives after serving his term? (a) John Quincy Adams (b) Andrew Johnson (c) Franklin Pierce

Which president was the first to be elected after all women won the vote? (a) William Howard Taft (b) Woodrow Wilson (c) Warren G. Harding Who was the first president to take the nation into a declared war? (a) James Madison (b) Abraham Lincoln (c) Woodrow Wilson Who was the first president born an American citizen? (a) George Washington (b) Andrew Jackson (c) Martin Van Buren

(Bonus points if you can name all 44!) • By Kenneth C. Davis

As the 2012 election draws near, try your hand at these questions to see how much you know about the American presidents.

Who was the ﬁrst vice president to become president when the previous ofﬁceholder died? (a) John Tyler (b) Andrew Johnson (c) Chester A. Arthur

What’s Your White House IQ? 7 ★

POP QUIZ

became ﬁrst lady? (a) Dolley Madison (b) Abigail Fillmore (c) Jacqueline Kennedy

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DIABETIC FOOT PAIN?

If you suffer from diabetic neuropathy, or pain in your feet and legs due to nerve damage caused by Diabetes, you should know that help is available. Over 20 million Americans suffer from diabetic neuropathy and put up with painful, tingling sensations because they are not aware of this proven treatment. MagniLife® Diabetic Neuropathy Foot Cream contains key ingredients, such as eucalyptus oil and yellow jasmine, known to relieve pain, tingling, and numbness, while natural moisturizers restore cracked, damaged, and itchy skin to help protect against infection. Results are so fantastic, long-time sufferers are seeing improvements for the first time in years. “MagniLife Diabetic Foot Cream was

the first medicine I got that really really helped my legs and feet. I’d rub it on before bed and I had no tingling in my toes and my legs felt good. Thank you.” - A Burkhart, NC. MagniLife® Diabetic Neuropathy Foot Cream is now available at Walgreens and Rite Aid Pharmacy. It can also be ordered for $19.99 (plus $5.95 S&H) for a 4 oz jar. Get a FREE jar when you order two for $39.98 (plus $9.95 S&H). Send your name and address with payment to MagniLife, Dept. NC3-4, P.O. BOX 6789, McKinney, TX 75071 or call 1-800-575-4396. Satisfaction guaranteed or return your product within 90 days for a full refund. Order now at www.MDFootCream.com.

If you suffer from Sciatica symptoms, such as intense pain in the buttocks and lower back, or pain and numbness in your legs and feet, you are not alone. Over 170 million people suffer from the burning, tingling, numbing, and shooting pains because they are not aware of this proven treatment. MagniLife® Sciatica Relief combines four proven ingredients that help ease the severe discomfort of Sciatica. It can be taken along with other medications with no side effects. The tablets dissolve under the tongue and contain Colocynthis, which has shown to relieve the shooting pains and tingling sensations.

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Bewitching Fun | from page 8 You’ll also need small pumpkins with short stems for bowling balls. (Oranges work just as well.) Add some gravel or water to the bottom of each bottle so they don’t topple over too easily. Arrange them in a triangle, and mark out the boundaries of your “alley” with twigs and branches (or string, if you are indoors), plus the line at the top of the alley. Then follow the rules of regular bowling: Each player gets two tries to knock down as many pins as possible.

DEVIL’S FOOD CAKE Serves 8–10

This chocolate cake reminds me of holidays in the Lake District when I was a child. A friend who lived there would make this cake and leave it in an old tin for us to enjoy during our stay. It’s comforting, not too rich, and stays moist for ages (a treat for the rest of the week). Serve big wedges with a thick bloodred raspberry coulis to complete it as a dessert.

SCIATICA BACK PAIN?

RINGING IN THE EARS?

If you suffer from Tinnitus and experience ringing in the ears, buzzing, hissing, whistling, or other sounds, you should know that help is available. Many people are putting up with irritating noises because they are not aware of this proven treatment. MagniLife® Tinnitus Relief has already helped thousands find relief when nothing else has worked. It can be taken along with other medications with no side effects. “This tablet seems to be the only thing I’ve found that brings relief.” - Bert M., Mt. Pleasant, IA. The tablets dissolve under the tongue and contain Lycopodium, which reduces noises

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LEG CRAMPS AT NIGHT?

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6 Tbsp unsalted butter 1 cups superﬁne sugar 2 medium eggs, lightly beaten ½ cup cocoa powder, plus 2 Tbsp

1 cup water 1 cups self-rising ﬂour

powder, plus extra for dusting 2 Tbsp milk

1 stick unsalted butter 2 cups confectioners’ sugar 2 Tbsp cocoa

10 oz raspberries lemon juice, to taste 3 Tbsp confectioners’ sugar

FOR THE ICING

FOR THE RASPBERRY COULIS

Preheat the oven to 300°F. Grease and line two 8-inch layer cake pans with parchment paper. Cream the butter and superfine sugar together until soft and fluffy. Gradually add the beaten eggs, mixing well after each addition. Blend the cocoa powder with the water. Add alternately with the flour into the butter mixture until all is blended smoothly. Divide the batter between the two pans and bake in the center of the oven for 25 minutes until firm and just coming away from the side of the pans. Cool on a rack. (At this stage the cakes can be frozen for up to a month.) To make the icing, beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until light and fluffy. Add the cocoa powder and milk and beat until combined. Sandwich the cakes together using half of the icing, then use the remainder to top the cake. Decorate with a simple dusting of cocoa powder. For the coulis, blend the raspberries, lemon juice, and sugar until smooth, then strain to remove any seeds. TIP: To make chocolate curls to decorate the cake, melt 3½ ounces of dark chocolate (70 percent cocoa solids), then pour onto a flat surface (such as a baking sheet) and spread it out thinly. Cool until set, then carefully drag a sharp knife from one end of the chocolate to the other to form curls.

FOR MORE RECIPES from Celebrate, go to Parade.com /pippa

HAVE YOU RESORTED TO THIS? Ask Marilyn By Marilyn vos Savant

Why do people believe something to be true about a political ﬁgure or party, even after they see credible evidence to the contrary? —Irene Halloran, Abington, Mass.

You’ve just stated a ﬁne example of bias, probably caused by an aversion to accepting the likelihood that one can be wrong. Why, if you’re wrong about one thing, you might be wrong about other things! It’s a scary thought, all right, especially if you’ve built your attitude about life around the philosophy of a particular party. Some people are so biased that they tend to agree with most or all of the positions taken by their own parties, and if you agree with a position taken by a different party, they assume you must be a member of the opposing party. That’s the epitome of political bias. ®

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Over 3 Million Sold!

By Connie Schultz

The Truth Comes Out You’ve read d it—don’t try to deny it. In fact, I must be the only woman in America who hasn’t read Fifty Shades of Grey. No, really. I swear. Listen,” isten,” she said, “I tried to resist.” I smiled. “Stop with that look on your face,” she said. “Everyone I know has read it.” I lowered myy chin and gave her are. the bug-eyed stare. yone but you. I’m “Okay, everyone m on the subway, not kidding. I’m t my and the book iss to my left, to ts away from me. I right, three seats sit in an airport, and five women in ng it.” a row are reading “Five,” I said.. “In a row.” agger e ating,” she “I may be exaggerating,” said. “But only a bit. ” ned her spine sp pin ne She straightened and wagged herr finger finger at me. haddes of Grey “Look, Fifty Shades zillion copies has sold a gazillion orld. And yet youu around the world. urself to read it? can’t bring yourself rdo here.” You’re the weirdo ar. Sometimes I feel That’s my fear. i AmerA like I’m the only woman in ica who hasn’t read the book that launched a thousand blogs. British author E. L. James’s erotic novel has been both lauded and derided as “mommy porn.” Its female protagonist, Anastasia Steele, a virginal lass at age 22, succumbs to the handsome but sinister Christian Grey. He likes his women thin, clueless, and submissive, which is exactly the kind of man who topped the running list I kept for my daughter titled “Men You Should Never Date.” Speaking of my daughter, who

i now 25 is 25, she h recently l read d the h book and immediately said, “Mom. Don’t.” “Why not?” “You’ll hate the writing,” she said. So sweet, pandering to her mother, the writer. What she’s really trying to avoid is that moment when I want to have one of our mom-daughter book chats, like we used to do when we both read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, say, or The Shining. It’s not as if I’m unwilling to hop onto a trend. I’ve got a closet full of TOMS, and I love Modern Family.

MOST OF THE TIME, I FEEL SMUG FOR NOT GIVING IN TO THE HYPE. BUT OCCASIONALLY I DO FEEL LEFT OUT.

I wear leggings, for crying out loud. Earlier this year, I was this close to posting a YouTube video of me llip-syncing to Carly Rae Jeps sen’s “Call Me Maybe.” (Again, Jepsen’ my daug daughter said, “Mom. Don’t.”) Most of the time, I feel smug and sup superior for not surrendering to the Fifty Shades hype. But occasio occasionally I do feel left out. There’s always a part of me that worries II’m one social misstep away fr rom sitting sit from alone in the cafeteria. The thing is, my friends deny having rread the book. They’ll fan their faces fac and look out the window and say, “Oh, c’mon, that’s so, so— oh, how do you say it in English?” R Right Right. k outing them. I’m not So I keep proud of o this. Well, maybe I am, but just a little. It’s too easy, really. I fo ffound und a plot summary online and then sta started dropping references into co conversations. So far, I’ve caught three t friends this way. “You know,” I said to Madge, “I just got back from the hardware store [clue] [clu and I heard the familiar soun u d of o a foil packet [clue] and it sound ooccurred oc currre to me who could play Ch i i [clue] in the movie.” Christian “No,” she said, waving her hand, “I’ve decided it should be Matt—” She stopped herself. Too late. “I hope you’re proud of yourself,” she said. I’m a wicked friend, but I’m loyal, too. The names of friends in this essay have been changed to protect the guilty. You know who you are. And so do I. See our ﬁve favorite pairings for Christian and Anastasia on the big screen and vote (anonymously!) at Parade.com/grey

PHOTO: RUSS HELLER

Views

14 • October 28, 2012

đ° &#x2030;đ°&#x20AC;źđ° &#x2021;đ° &#x2020;đ° &#x2030;đ° &#x2039; The Super-Powerful â&#x20AC;&#x153;Diet Pillâ&#x20AC;? Is Back! Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re flying off the shelf... but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re NOT for everyone!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;In my opinion these pills are nothing more than â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;amphetamine-likeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; compounds... no one needs to lose

â&#x20AC;?

that much weight, that fast, with that much of an energy boost.

ost of us thought the era of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Super-Powerfulâ&#x20AC;? diet pill ended a few years back when the FDA removed Ephedra and Fen-Phen from the U.S. market because of safety concerns. Well, it turns out that â&#x20AC;&#x153;most of usâ&#x20AC;? were wrong. It seems that a huge, multi-billion-dollar, â&#x20AC;&#x153;undergroundâ&#x20AC;? market for these amphetamine-like fat burners sprung up even before the ink was dry on the FDAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decree. But recently, an entirely new crop of high-quality, super-powerful and super-effective diet pills are coming out of hiding and are hitting the shelves of your local Wal-Mart, Walgreens and GNC. Some of them are already very well-known; others are relatively obscure and only popular in limited circles of college students or bodybuilders. So which one is right for you? Are any of them safe, or are they all much too powerful for us â&#x20AC;&#x153;ordinaryâ&#x20AC;? people? The current leaders in this new category are: BiphedAdreneâ&#x201E;˘ (the most powerful), TriAdaleanâ&#x201E;˘ (the newest entry), and ZantrexÂŽ-3 (the granddaddy of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;extreme energyâ&#x20AC;? diet-pill category). So whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the difference between these three diet pill superpowers? Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s talk about the key functional components first. BiphedAdrene is a two-part system comprised of a unique â&#x20AC;&#x153;Phenylethylamine Provisional Complexâ&#x20AC;? (the purple tablet) for powerful appetite control, mood-elevation, and energy, combined with an aggressive thermogenic compound (the yellow capsule) for calorie burning and stamina. This two-pronged attack on fat is apparently what makes the compound so effective... and so popular. (And weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re guessing that the â&#x20AC;&#x153;one tablet + one capsuleâ&#x20AC;? delivery system may be a contributing factor in BiphedAdreneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s staggeringly high suggested retail price of $135.) TriAdaleanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power also comes from phenylethylamines, but not in the same high concentration as BiphedAdrene... making this Super Pill a favorite among women who want a significant energy kick but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the bone-rattling jitters. This might just explain TriAdaleanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rising popularity (however, it canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hurt that TriAdaleanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s price point is significantly less than BiphedAdreneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s at $79). The third contender in the fight for â&#x20AC;&#x153;top super pillâ&#x20AC;? is a veteran of the weight-loss and energy market, Zantrex-3. Zantrex has had a strong presence in the field since its introduction to the U.S. market in 2003 and has recently seen an upsurge in popularity among younger people since Nicole â&#x20AC;&#x153;Snookiâ&#x20AC;? Polizzi of MTVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jersey Shore fame lost quite a bit of weight through a combination of diet, exercise, and Zantrex-3 Fat Burner. Snooki agreed to act as a national spokesperson for Zantrex and has been extolling the formulaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s virtues via Twitter and other media. Zantrexâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s effectiveness as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;super pillâ&#x20AC;? seems to be due to massive amounts of methylxanthines (caffeine and caffeine-like

stimulants) combined with what the company tells us is a proven weight-control formula. In any case, Zantrex-3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bright red bottle has certainly become a mainstay on the shelves of supplement retailers everywhere. So whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the big deal? Why has there been so much interest in these â&#x20AC;&#x153;super-powerfulâ&#x20AC;? pills? While the pills do cause rapid weight loss (no doubt about that), these amphetamine-like compounds are fast becoming a favorite among bodybuilders, college students, and overstressed, exhausted homemakers for their energy and stamina-boosting properties (in other words as powerful â&#x20AC;&#x153;go-

[Quote from an expert who wished to remain anonymous]

fastâ&#x20AC;? pills). Because cult-like trends that begin with bodybuilders and college students quickly become mainstream, many critics are concerned about the potential overuse of these powerful compounds. A spokesperson for Generix Labs, maker of BiphedAdrene, explains, â&#x20AC;&#x153;One of the things we often heard, as we made a study of the weight-loss market, is that people missed the mood-elevation and boost of energy that were â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;side effects,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; if you will, of the FenPhen and Ephedra class of diet pills. The weight loss was always primary, but nearly as important was the increase in energy and mood.â&#x20AC;? These new amphetamine-like compounds provide not only very substantial weight loss, but also a similar mood and energy boost.

While these â&#x20AC;&#x153;super pillsâ&#x20AC;? are finding their way into the general marketplace, they are definitely not for everyone. In fact, you shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even think about taking them if losing five or six â&#x20AC;&#x153;vanity poundsâ&#x20AC;? is your goal. These diet pills are intended exclusively for the significantly overweight. But thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not the only caveat. You should check with your doctor to ensure you are in overall good health before considering any of this new category of pills. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face it... even though this new generation of diet pills promise â&#x20AC;&#x153;easyâ&#x20AC;? weight loss, increased energy, and improved mood, they are expensive (BiphedAdrene is a whopping $135 for a 30-day supply, for example; Zantrex retails for around $40 and TriAdalean is somewhere in the middle) and need to be used very responsibly. See you in the supplement section!

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