Parade

BY S U N DAY, S E P T E M B E R 1 5, 2 01 3 | PA R A D E .C O M

DOTSON RADER

BELOVED ACTOR

ON RETURNING TO TV,

GETTING SOBER,

O N LY I N PA R A D E !

Robin gives 9 crazy reasons to watch his new show.

Scan here for the exclusive video!

DOWNSIZING IN HIS 60s Robin Williams stars in The Crazy Ones, premiering Sept. 26 on CBS

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

T ’S

WALTER SCOTT ASKS…

SHERYL CROW SEND QUESTIONS TO PERSONALITY@ PARADE.COM OR P.O. BOX 5001, GRAND CENTRAL STATION, NEW YORK, N.Y. 10163-5001

Find out which of Sheryl’s songs is her favorite at parade.com/crow

The musician, 51, has a new album, Feels Like Home, out now.

This is your first country album. What prompted the change? I moved to Nashville almost eight years ago, after I finished breast cancer treatment. My friend Brad Paisley said to me, “If your records were put out now, they’d be considered country.”

He encouraged me and was instrumental in getting me a record deal. I’ve always written songs with stories, but now they’re stronger and in the first person.

Was the song “Waterproof Mascara,” about being a single mom, inspired by your own life? Absolutely. I wanted to make

Q: Did Al Alison Sweeney draw on her own experiences expe to write The Star w Attraction?

Att —May P., Reno — A: “I did,” says the th actress, 36, whose who novel’s Alison Sweeney Ali

a record about what it’s like to be a woman right now, like Tammy [Wynette] and Loretta [Lynn] did. So writing about being a single working mom was important to me.

What artists would you like to work with?

John Mayer. He’s so talented. And I’d love to work with Emmylou [Harris] again. She’s my favorite person to sing with.

If you weren’t a musician, what would you be doing? I think I’d be a veterinarian because I’m animal crazy. I have 11 horses, two dogs, chickens, donkeys, and two Texas longhorn cows. I want to instill in my sons [ages 6 and 3] a love of nature. We’re all renting Earth, so we have to take care of it.

main character is a Hollywood publicist. “I included real things I encountered or saw on the red carpet.

Publicists are the sane ones in this industry.”

Newt Gingrich

Q: CNN is bringing back Crossfire. How will it be different this time around?

—Fred D., Peoria, Ill.

A: The debate program, which ran from 1982 to 2005, returns Sept. 16 with hosts Newt Gingrich,

Stephanie Cutter, S. E. Cupp, and Van Jones. Its format will be similar, but, says Gingrich, 70, “we’re going to deal with sports and culture as well as politics. And thanks to social media, people can help us pick topics and comment on shows.”

Billy Bob Thornton

Q: After All the Pretty Horses, Billy Bob Thornton said he’d never direct again. Why the change of heart?

—Anne C., Wells, Nev. A: “That was a big movie, with all the usual studio problems,” says Thornton, on, 58. “I knew if I did direct again, it had to be some-thing I was passionate about.” His latest, the drama Jayne Mansfield’s Car, fit the bill. “The films I write and direct aren’t usually blockbusters.

When the studios see me e coming with an idea, they’re like, ‘Here’s one that won’t make a nickel,’,’ ” he adds, laughing.

Q:

Is it true that “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” was almost cut from The Wizard of Oz? –Harry B., Tempe, Ariz.

A: Yes. Producers wanted to trim the two-hour film to 100 minutes, and that song, Judy Garland’s only solo, was one they cut for an early preview. Associate producer Arthur Freed fought to put it back in.

In honor of the movie’s 75th anniversary this year, IMAX theaters nationwide will show it for one week beginning Sept. 20. The collector’s edition Blu-ray goes on sale Oct. 1.

SUNDAY FREEBIE

Enter for a chance to win a Blu-ray of The Producers: Collector’s Edition, signed

by Mel Brooks, at parade.com/win

SUNDAY FREEBIE: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. TO ENTER, GO TO PARADE.COM/WIN. STARTS 5:00 P.M. ET, 9/13/13, AND ENDS 4:59 P.M. ET, 9/20/13. OPEN TO LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES (D.C.) 13 YEARS AND OLDER, EXCEPT EMPLOYEES OF SPONSOR, THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILIES, AND THOSE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD. ODDS OF WINNING DEPEND ON THE NUMBER OF ENTRIES RECEIVED. VOID OUTSIDE THE 50 UNITED STATES (D.C.) AND WHERE PROHIBITED. A.R.V. OF THE 5 PRIZES: $26.99 EACH. SPONSOR: PARADE PUBLICATIONS. PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: JIM WRIGHT; RICK KERN/WIREIMAGE; EVERETT COLLECTION; CHRISTOPHER POLK/NBC/GETTY IMAGES; WILLIAM B. PLOWMAN/NBC/NBC NEWSWIRE VIA GETTY IMAGES

T WA L

COT ER S

>

2 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Š PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Š PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Parade

L I K E U S O N FA C E B O O K AT FA C E B O O K . C O M / PA R A D E M A G

WONDERLAND

Time spin-off finds Alice’s sanity in doubt due to her wild stories about Wonderland. But after she’s sprung from her padded room by the Knave of Hearts and the White Rabbit (voiced by John Lithgow), her adventures get even curiouser.

(ABC, Oct. 10)

1

Hostages A surgeon (Toni Collette) slated to operate on the president is taken hostage along with her family and told to kill him during the procedure. The head bad guy? None other than an FBI agent played by Dylan McDermott, who was coached by real G-men.

“They know I’m representing them in some strange way,” he says. (CBS, premieres Sept. 23) Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Cocreator Joss Whedon picks up where his Avengers left off, as Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) makes a surprise return to head a team that investigates odd occurrences.

Expect action, humor, and, says Gregg, “crossover stuff from the cinematic universe.” (ABC, Sept. 24)

3

The Michael J. Fox Show The five-time Emmy winner plays a TV newsman who comes out of retirement after adjusting to his Parkinson’s disease (and going a little stir-crazy at home). “I was feeling good,” says Fox, who jokes about his condition on the show, “so I said, ‘[Acting] is what I do. Why am I not doing it?’ And I couldn’t come up with a good reason.” (NBC, Sept. 26)

8

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Saturday Night Live alum Andy Samberg stars as a detective with both smarts and a penchant for silly antics, which his precinct’s tightly wound new captain (Andre Braugher) doesn’t

How has Michael J. Fox’s real family life been worked into his new show?

Go to parade.com/tv for more from fall’s biggest stars

HOSTAGES CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: Sophie Lowe as Alice; Andy Samberg and Joe Lo Truglio; Michael J. Fox and Jack Gore; James Spader; Toni Collette (center)

appreciate. “I didn’t think I’d ever play a detective, even in [an SNL] sketch,” says Samberg. “So it’s awesome!” (Fox, Sept. 17) THE BLACKLIST

4

The Blacklist James Spader stars as a fugitive ex–government agent who turns himself in, offering to help the FBI catch the world’s most wanted criminals—but only if he can work with a certain rookie profiler (Megan Boone). Spader wants to keep his character enigmatic: “I’m looking to have a lot of unanswered questions for as long as possible,” he says. (NBC, Sept. 23)

5

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland “I always wanted to be Alice!” says star Sophie Lowe. This Once Upon a

THE MICHAEL J. FOX SHOW

6

Masters of Sex Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan star as Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, whose research into human sexual response produced two best sellers. Sheen insists the series’ sex scenes aren’t titillating: “Like the songs in the best musicals, they advance the story.” (Showtime, Sept. 29)

Along with Robin Williams’s series (see page 6), here are the season’s best

7

Sleepy Hollow “I love not knowing which of my castmates is going to die in a couple episodes’ time,” says Tom Mison, who plays Ichabod Crane in this spooky

9

The Millers Margo Martindale, Beau Bridges, Will Arnett, and Jayma Mays bring the funny in this sitcom about parents living with their adult children. “People look down on actors who go from drama to comedy,” says Martindale, an Emmy winner for Justified. “But it takes a lot to make comedy look easy.” (CBS, Oct. 3)

10

Dracula “He’s 99 percent monster and one percent human,” says star Jonathan Rhys Meyers of his dashing Dracula, who battles ancient enemies in Victorian London. “It’s the one percent that causes problems.” (NBC, Oct. 25)

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: JACK ROWAND/ABC; BETH DUBBER/FOX; ERIC LIEBOWITZ/NBC; DAVID GIESBRECHT/NBC; NICOLE RIVELLI/CBS

2

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE

thriller, which transports the classic character to present-day Sleepy Hollow. There he joins a cop (Nicole Beharie) on a hunt for the Headless Horseman. (Fox, Sept. 16)

4 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

take the

lead

in your health

Start with easy-to-swallow prices on probiotics.

1324 Phillips® Colon Health® Probiotic Caps

1497 TruBiotics™ Daily Probiotic Supplement

2658 Align® Probiotic Supplement

Use as directed. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. *Our stores will match the price of any local competitor’s printed ad for an identical product. Not applicable to Walmart.com. Restrictions apply. See store for details.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Guess Who’s

Back

∏

obin Williams’s expressive blue eyes crinkle up when he laughs, which he does often—and usually at Not me, himself. He greets me with a silly— wide grin and a sturdy handshake; in his blue polo shirt, jeans, running shoes, wool cap, and large sunglasses, he looks more like a solidly built New York cab driver than the Oscar- and Emmy-winning star that he is. At 62, he has selfdeprecating charm in spades, but he’s also somewhat shy and very thoughtful. During our long, revealing chat in the library of the Montage hotel in Beverly Hills, he summons up little of the mimicry and antics of his professional persona; it’s clear he has serious and substantial topics to discuss.

Starting Sept. 26, Williams will star as an unorthodox advertising executive on CBS’s The Crazy Ones, his first series since Mork & Mindy.

“We needed an actor who could convey genius, insanity, and comedy, tempered with humanity,” says series creator David E. Kelley (Ally McBeal).

“Robin was the first and only choice.” To film the show, which costars Sarah Michelle Gellar as his daughter and ad agency partner, Williams will temporarily relocate to L.A. from the home he shares north of San Francisco with his wife of nearly two years, 49-year-old Susan Schneider, a painter. After decades of stand-up comedy and 6 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

HIM!

on T

V

?

PHOTO CREDITS WILL GO HERE AS SHOWN

More than 30 years after gaining fame as Mork, Robin Williams returns in The Crazy Ones.

Here, he opens up about playing an adman, staying sober, and why comedy is cathartic.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

BY

DOTSON RADER

PHOTO CREDITS WILL GO HERE AS SHOWN

COVER AND INSIDE PHOTOGRAPHS

BY PEGGY SIROTA

MONTH 00, 2012 | 00

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

roles in movies as diverse as The World According to Garp, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Good Will Hunting, he’s embracing the chance to get a little, yes, crazy on a weekly basis. But the character digs deeper than that, Williams says: “There are moments where he really is afraid, like, ‘I don’t have it anymore.’

That’s a viable fear for an artist.”

It wasn’t just Lance. [Most of the] team was doping. I haven’t seen him since one of the last Livestrong benefits, I think just before the Oprah interview.

It was literally like a wake for someone who was still alive, this overall feeling that the dream was over.

How will your character on The Crazy Ones develop?

What’s it like being back on TV?

It’s fun. I’m having such a blast doing it with Sarah. She’s a sweet woman. And the idea of the father-daughter relationship—since I have a daughter, I’ve done the research on that. You know, pride and trying to help her along, but at the same time not helping so much that she doesn’t learn. [Williams’s daughter, Zelda, is an actress and a screenwriter.]

They might build in that he’s been to rehab so we can play off some of the stuff I’ve been through. It would let me do the idea of going through addiction and coming out the other side.

ROBIN WILLIAMS:

You’ve had two very serious periods of substance abuse. What caused that?

Ninety-nine percent of the people who go through that are trying to deal with some pain. They will say that when they did the drug, they suddenly felt okay. Then, “I’m not so good. I need to get back [to the drug] and be all right again.” It builds into that cycle.

James Wolk, who plays Bob Benson on Mad Men, is also on your show, playing a young adman. In the first episode, you two riff on a jingle you want Kelly Clarkson to sing. You’re like boys trying to top one another for a girl’s attention.

It’s playful. I think they wanted something like the old days of Mork & Mindy, where there are moments of craziness. Jimmy’s so funny. And even I’m going, “He’s so handsome!” [laughs] It’s been 31 years; why was now the right time to do TV?

The idea of having a steady job is appealing. I have two [other] choices: go on the road doing stand-up, or do small, independent movies working almost for scale [minimum union pay]. The movies are good, but a lot of times they don’t even have distribution. There are bills to pay. My life has downsized, in a good way. I’m selling the ranch up in Napa. I just can’t afford it anymore.

Is that because you lost all of your money in your divorces? [Williams was married to Valerie Velardi from 1978 to 1988; their son, Zachary, is 30. He and Marsha Garces were wed from

How did you stop?

SEE ROBIN CLOWNING AT OUR SHOOT! SCAN HERE OR GO TO PARADE.COM /WILLIAMS

1989 to 2008; their children are Zelda, 24, and Cody, 21.]

Well, not all. Lost enough. Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it “all the money,” but they changed it to “alimony.” It’s ripping your heart out through your wallet. Are things good with my exes?

Yes. But do I need that lifestyle? No.

The first time I stopped was because my son Zachary was about to be born.

I didn’t do rehab or AA. I just stopped.

Why?

You still own more than 50 bicycles.

Shame. Fear. I was going to have a kid. I didn’t want to be coked out, going, “Here’s a little switch—Daddy’s going to throw up on you!” I wanted to be a participating parent. Cut to about 20 years later: I’m in Alaska and I think it is okay to drink again.

Yes. I need to downsize that, too.

What film were you making?

Did you start biking because of Lance Armstrong?

The Big White. It was shot in Skagway, this tiny town. It’s not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.

The movie was interesting, but I was worried. My film career was not going too well. One day I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

And then that voice—I call it the “lower power”—goes, “Hey. Just a taste. Just one.” I drank it, and there was that brief moment of “Oh, I’m okay!” But it escalated so quickly. Within a week, I

No, I got involved because I couldn’t run anymore. I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much.

I started cycling when Zelda was born. When I met Lance, I was [already] a cycling fan. I went to five Tours de France and followed his team. That’s why it was so disheartening when [the doping scandal] went down.

COVER AND INSIDE: GROOMING, CHERI MINNS; STYLING, JEANNE YANG/THE WALL GROUP; SWEATER, KENZO; JEANS, HUGO BOSS; HATS, MAKINS HATS

PARADE:

Didn’t you feel betrayed? Armstrong was a friend of yours.

8 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Look Who’s Coming To Town!

Join Chef Jon Ashton, from PARADE and dash, at a brand new live cooking event.

Enjoy a fun-filled day of cooking tips, great food, and a chance to win fabulous prizes!

Download a

personal message from Chef Jon

Check out dashrecipes.com/tour today for the tour schedule and to purchase tickets.

NATIONAL SPONSORS: © PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

CARE TO SHARE? © PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Robin Williams | from page 8

With Pam Dawber in Mork & Mindy (top), and in CBS’s The Crazy Ones with costar Sarah Michelle Gellar

was buying so many bottles I sounded like a wind chime walking down the street. I knew it was really bad one Thanksgiving when I was so drunk they had to take me upstairs.

Didn’t your family intervene to get you into rehab in 2006?

It was not an intervention so much as an ultimatum.

Everyone kind of said, “You’ve got to do this.” And I went, “Yeah, you’re right.”

PHOTOS, FROM TOP: ABC PHOTO ARCHIVES/ABC VIA GETTY IMAGES; RICHARD CARTWRIGHT/CBS

Unlike some stars’ kids, yours have turned out well.

I have to give credit to my ex, Marsha. She did the majority of the work on that level. She really tries to ground them and protect them, but not overly so.

There were three years [drinking] when I was pretty out.

Now I really have to be there for them. The most important thing to say is “If you need me, I’m here.” Zelda’s acting in small movies and writing, which is wonderful. Cody is doing music production.

Zachary’s married and working.

When he graduated from NYU, it was one of the most moving days of my life. I was so proud of him. Because I don’t have a college degree.

SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 | 11

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Robin Williams | from page 11 You grew up in suburban Detroit, in a mansion, n, a lonely child raised by a maid. …

A black maid named Susie.

What about your mother?

My mother’s idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyperpositive—the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled.

She was a Christian Scientist?

Well, a Christian Scientist who had plastic surgery. A mixed message. She wouldn’t have

FIL FILMING MRS. DOUBTFIRE WAS “A BIT LIK LIKE DEMONIC PO POSSESSION,” THE STAR SAYS. HE DIS DISHES ABOUT CCAREER AREER HIGHLIGHTS H AT PPARADE.COM /WILLIAMS

surgery to fix her heart, but she had her eyes done twice.

And your dad was an executive at Ford? [Williams’s father died in 1987 and his mother in 2001.]

Yeah, he was proud that they made really great cars. When I read that Detroit was bankrupt, it hit me hard. He was a total realist. I said I wanted to be an actor, and he said, “Have a backup profession, like welding.” And when I thought about [joining] the military, he said, “Have no illusions about that. There is nothing glorious about war.”

He was in an aircraft carrier that got hit by a kamikaze. Guys died in the same room he was in.

Is that why you’ve done USO tours for our troops?

If You Paid for Vioxx Before October 1, 2004 You Could Get Up to $50 or More from a Settlement A Settlement has been reached with Merck Sharp & Dohme Corp. (“Merck”) about the prescription anti-inflammatory drug, Vioxx. This proposed class action Settlement will pay consumers who paid out-of-pocket expenses for Vioxx (that were not reimbursed).

fees and costs will be paid out of this Settlement Amount. Class Members who submit valid claims can get: (1) up to $50 in cash or (2) reimbursement for up to the actual out-of-pocket expenses paid for Vioxx and up to $75 for certain other costs and losses. Payments will vary depending upon several factors such as the number of claims What is the Lawsuit About? submitted, the amounts claimed, the proof This lawsuit claims that Merck falsely advertised submitted, and other adjustments and deductions. the drug Vioxx as having greater benefits than less How to Make a Claim for Payment? expensive pain medicines, which contradicted the drug’s Food and Drug Administration approved You must submit a Claim Form by labeling. Merck denies any liability for the May 6, 2014 to get a payment from the claims in the lawsuit and admits no wrongdoing Settlement. The Claim Form is available at by agreeing to this Settlement. The Court did not www.VioxxSettlement.com or by calling 1-866decide which side was right. Instead, the parties 439-6932. The Claim Form can be submitted decided to settle. People who claim personal injury online or by mail. from Vioxx cannot make a claim for payment.

Your Other Rights.

This Settlement does not release their claims.

If you do nothing, your rights will be affected.

Who’s Included?

If you do not want to be legally bound by the Generally, you are included if you paid (or were Settlement, you must exclude yourself from the required to pay) for all or part of the purchase Class by November 9, 2013 or you will not be price of Vioxx (for personal or family use) able to sue Merck for any claim relating to the before October 1, 2004. If you settled a Vioxx lawsuit. If you stay in the Class, you may object personal injury claim you are not included in the to the Settlement by November 9, 2013, but Settlement. Similarly, if you were a Missouri will be bound by the terms of the Settlement if resident when you purchased Vioxx, you are approved by the Court. not included in the Settlement. The full Class definition is included in the long form Notice The Court will hold a hearing on December available at the Settlement Website.

13, 2013 to consider whether to approve the Settlement and a request for attorneys’ fees and What Can You Get? expenses up to 32% of the maximum $23 million Merck will pay up to $23 million to settle the Settlement Amount or up to $7.36 million. You lawsuit. All costs of the Claims Administrator can appear at the hearing, but you don’t have to administer the Settlement, the cost to inform to. You can hire your own attorney, at your own people about the Settlement, and the attorneys’ expense, to appear or speak for you at the hearing.

For complete information and a Claim Form: Visit: www.VioxxSettlement.com Call: 1-866-439-6932

I do those because it’s like the real version of Good Morning, Vietnam, meeting people and seeing what I can do to help. They’re the best audiences I’ve ever had. The most powerful experience is visiting the wounded in hospitals. A friend of mine’s doing a program in San Francisco at a veterans’ hospital, getting them to do improv comedy as therapy. And it’s really helping. Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.

How did you meet your wife, Susan Schneider?

[They married in 2011.]

In an Apple Store. I was wearing camouflage pants, and she said, “How’s that camouflage working?” I said, “Pretty good, because you noticed.” I had this weird feeling, so I said, “I know this sounds like a horrible pickup line, but I feel like I know you.”

And she said, “Yeah, me too.” And then we realized we had a common theme in sobriety.

You’re in a profession that’s tough on marriage.

The temptations and insecurities both drive that.

Plus, there are other things running parallel— addiction, alcoholism. Plus the idea of you’re hot, then you’re not. When you’re hot, people throw themselves at you. I once got stopped by a cop: “Hi, Mr. Williams. I’m not going to give you a ticket, but I do have an idea for a film.”

And when you’re not hot?

People walk away from you.

Looking back, do you have any regrets?

Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn’t turn out very well—you go, “Why did you do that?” But in the end, I can’t regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it.

No regrets, then?

No. Regrets don’t help.

PHOTO: 20TH CENTURY FOX/EVERETT COLLECTION

Legal Notice

12 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

®

Kennections

By Ken Jennings HOW TO PLAY

All five correct answers have something in common.

Can you figure out what it is?

1. On what Disney Channel sitcom does a Texas teenager come to New York to be a nanny for the Ross family?

✎ 2. In Sophocles’s first play about Oedipus, he gave him what title, the Latin word for king?

✎ 3. What “little” nursery rhyme character has lost her sheep, and doesn’t know where to find them?

✎ 4. What first name did Brooklyn teen Allan Konigsberg adopt in the 1950s when he began writing jokes for comedians?

✎ 5. By what nickname is astronaut Edwin Eugene Aldrin Jr. better known?

At home or away, get immediate help with the most affordable medical alert service.

Not all medical alert services are created equal.

While some limit you to your home, The 5Star ® is powered by one of the nation’s largest and most reliable wireless networks.

Like a cell phone, it works at home or when you’re away from home – out for a walk, shopping, even when you’re out of town.

And it’s not only for falls and emergencies. In any uncertain or unsafe situation, you’ll have unlimited access to immediate help. Perhaps you’re having car trouble, you’ve gotten lost while traveling or you’ve witnessed an accident.

Just press the button to speak with a highly trained 5Star Agent. With the 5Star’s patented GPS, Agents can determine your location and get you the help you need.

At only $1499 per month, 5Star Urgent Response® saves you over $200 per year in monthly fees, making it the most affordable medical alert service compared to other personal emergency response services.

No contracts.

No cancellation fees.

No equipment to install.

✎ WHAT’S THE “KENNECTION” BETWEEN ALL FIVE ANSWERS?

First month FREE with purchase from:

✎

®

Endorsed by John Walsh, host of America’s Most Wanted

Play more trivia puzzles

by Ken Jennings at parade.com/ken ANSWERS: 1. JESSIE; 2. REX; 3. BO-PEEP; 4. WOODY; 5. BUZZ ALL ARE TOY STORY CHARACTERS

PHOTO: ANDY REYNOLDS

MAKE MORE KENNECTIONS!

Get help at home or on the go, 24/7

Speak with an NAED Certified Agent

Patented GPS locates you quickly

Call 1-800-650-4218 today or visit greatcall.com/5Star

Nationwide Coverage

Most affordable medical alert service

Not all personal emergency response systems (PERS) have the same features.

You should determine which features are important to you. $200 savings calculation was determined by averaging the PERS market leaders’ monthly fees. 5Star Urgent Response is available with the purchase of The 5Star and a one-time set-up fee of $35. Valid credit or debit card required for monthly service. 5Star service may not be available in remote or enclosed areas. You will not be able to make 5Star or 9-1-1 calls when cellular service is not available. 5Star service will be able to track an approximate location when your device is turned on and fully charged, but we cannot guaranteeanexact anexactlocation.5Starservicedoesnot servicedoesnotrequireacontract acontractand andcan canbe becancelled cancelled at any time. Monthly service fees do not include government taxes or assessment surcharges. Prices and fees are subject to change. 5Star, 5Star Urgent Response and GreatCall are registered trademarks of GreatCall, Inc. Copyright ©2013, GreatCall, Inc.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

LIMITED TIME OFFER!

$250 OFF*

PURCHASE OF A NEW STAIRLIFT! EXPIRES November 30th 2013

“Our Acorn Stairlift has made such an amazing difference in our lives. I wish we had called sooner!” - Susan K. The world leader in stairlifts Buy direct from the manufacturer and save The most trusted name in the industry Works on ALL types of staircases

FREE INFORMATION KIT AND DVD!

CALL US TOLL-FREE NOW

Ask Marilyn

By Marilyn vos Savant

Co-owners of a house worth $200,000 with $10,000 in equity must divide the asset. Owner No. 1 will keep the house and offers Owner No. 2 half the equity. Owner No. 2 wants half the value of the house. What is the fairest thing to do?

split this gain, Owner No. 1 would pay $30,000 to Owner No. 2, then take over the house and assume the rest of the $140,000 mortgage.

Or say the house was bought for $250,000, and $240,000 is left. The owners would lose $40,000 if they sold it for $200,000. Splitting this loss, Owner No. 2 would pay $20,000 to Owner No. 1 to take the house, which is underwater, and shoulder the remaining $240,000 mortgage.

—Bret Cooper, Laurel, Md.

What do you think, readers?

Don’t be hasty. The answer (which follows) may not be your first thought.

A key factor to consider: the amount remaining on the loan.

Maybe the house was bought when it was worth half as much.

Or twice as much!

Say the house was bought for $150,000, so $140,000 is left on the loan. The coowners would gain $60,000 if they sold it to a third party for $200,000. (To simplify, we won’t consider factors such as fees, penalties, taxes, etc.) To

®

Numbrix

Complete 1 to 81 so the numbers follow a horizontal or vertical path—no diagonals.

29

25

17

3

1

31

7

37

55

39 41

43

81

ILLUSTRATION: GRAFILU

Finally, an AFFORDABLE solution for anyone having difficulty with the stairs!

69

63 65

Cartoon Parade

1-877-397-6985 Helping people stay safe in their homes for over 20 years *Not valid on previous purchases. Not valid with any other offers or discounts. Not valid on refurbished models. Only valid towards purchase of a NEW Acorn Stairlift directly from the manufacturer. $250 discount will be applied to new orders placed between August 25th – November 30th 2013. Please mention coupon when calling.

“I get the feeling it’s been a while since you updated your profile pic.”

CARTOON: MARIA SCRIVAN

visit us online: www.acornstairlifts.com/parade

14 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Allergy Relief

SEE HOW WE COMPARE Claritin® Zyrtec® Benadryl®

FAST* Non-drowsy 24-hour

NO

NO

NO

NO

*Starts working in one hour. * Applies to first dose only. Refers to adult formulations only. Use only as directed. © 2013 Chattem, Inc. Claritin, Zyrtec and Benadryl are trademarks of their respective owners.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Table

Make the recipe and post a pic at facebook.com /parademag

Around the

F R I T TA TA

Mix one up with whatever’s in your pantry using this simple formula

1 Eggs

Beat 8 eggs in a large bowl. Season with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper. Now whisk in ...

2 Vegetables

Add up to 2 veggies (your favorites, or suggestions below) to eggs; use 1½ cups total.

P Sautéed mushrooms P Frozen corn P Chopped tomatoes P Roasted sliced potatoes P Sautéed onions or leeks P Roasted broccoli P Roasted red peppers

3 Protein

6 Flavor Boost

Add 1; use ¾ cup.

P Chopped smoked salmon P Cooked sausage crumbles P Canned beans P Diced ham or bacon

4 Cheese

Add 1 or 2; use up to 1 cup total (unless noted).

P Grated Parmesan P Crumbled blue cheese or feta (use up to ½ cup) P Grated cheddar P Diced mozzarella P Sour cream or ricotta

Add 1; use 1 Tbsp.

5

Herbs

Add 1; use up to ¾ cup, chopped. For stronger herbs, like rosemary or dill, use 2 Tbsp, chopped.

P Basil P Chives P Cilantro P Tarragon P Mint

P Dijon mustard P Capers or tapenade P Grated citrus zest P Sriracha or pesto

BAKE

Warm 1 Tbsp olive oil over medium-high heat in a 10-inch ovenproof nonstick skillet. Add egg mixture and immediately pull set edges toward center to allow uncooked egg to

run underneath. Cook until edges set again, 1 to 2 minutes, then bake in a preheated 350°F oven until top is just set, about 15 minutes; do not overcook. Let cool 5 minutes in pan before inverting onto a plate. Serve warm or at room temperature.

GO TO parade.com/frittata FOR FOUR GREAT FRITTATA ATA COMBOS

PHOTOS, INGREDIENTS: GETTY IMAGES. SRIRACHA: ISTOCKPHOTO. FRITTATA: BRIAN W. FERRY

Create Your Own

16 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Bo (left) and Sunny

PRESIDENTIAL PETS In honor of Sunny, the Obamas’ new puppy, Ken Jennings tests your knowledge of White House companions In 1878, an American diplomat sent Rutherford B. Hayes’s wife the very first _____ cat ever seen in the U.S.

1

The Marquis de Lafayette presented John Quincy Adams with what unusual pet, which he kept in a bathtub? a. An octopus b. An alligator c. An otter

PHOTO: PETE SOUZA/WHITE HOUSE VIA GETTY IMAGES. ANSWERS: 1. SIAMESE; 2. B; 3. A; 4. TRUE; 5. C

2

In 1952, 60 million viewers watched Richard Nixon give his famous “Checkers” speech.

What dog breed was Checkers? a. Cocker spaniel b. Beagle c. Fox terrier

3

True or false: Andrew Jackson’s parrot swore so much at Jackson’s funeral that it had to be removed from the service.

4

What problem did the Clintons have with their cat, an adopted stray named Socks? a. He clawed the sofas in the Oval Office. b. He became overweight thanks to people food. c. He hated Buddy, the “first dog.”

5

© 2013 CSC Brands LP

Pop Quiz

HAS NO LOVE FOR LOVE HANDLES. Drink V8 ® 100% Vegetable Juice as part of a reduced calorie diet along with regular exercise.

70 calories 0g fat 3g dietary fiber

Could’ve had a V8.® V8juice.com

SEE ANSWERS AT LEFT

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Pop Quiz

Bo (left) and Sunny

PRESIDENTIAL PETS In honor of Sunny, the Obamas’ new puppy, Ken Jennings tests your knowledge of White House companions In 1878, an American diplomat sent Rutherford B. Hayes’s wife the very first _____ cat ever seen in the U.S.

1

The Marquis de Lafayette presented John Quincy Adams with what unusual pet, which he kept in a bathtub? a. An octopus b. An alligator c. An otter

PHOTO: PETE SOUZA/WHITE HOUSE VIA GETTY IMAGES. ANSWERS: 1. SIAMESE; 2. B; 3. A; 4. TRUE; 5. C

2

In 1952, 60 million viewers watched Richard Nixon give his famous “Checkers” speech.

What dog breed was Checkers? a. Cocker spaniel b. Beagle c. Fox terrier

3

True or false: Andrew Jackson’s parrot swore so much at Jackson’s funeral that it had to be removed from the service.

4

“

I have finicky felines, and they just love the taste of Sheba ®

- C.S. Mentor, OH

What problem did the Clintons have with their cat, an adopted stray named Socks? a. He clawed the sofas in the Oval Office. b. He became overweight thanks to people food. c. He hated Buddy, the “first dog.”

”

5

MADE WITH REAL BEEF, POULTRY OR SEAFOOD

SEE ANSWERS AT LEFT ®/™ Trademarks © Mars, Incorporated 2013. WAL-MART® is a trademark of Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

O

ne year, two months, go, my and 14 days ago, d at me, husband glanced e, and did a double take, n that said, “I like you in d color.” Then he turned anding on his heels and left me standing s. in the kitchen, speechless.

We had been married rs, for more than eight years, me and that was the first time he had ever mentioned es anything about my clothes beyond saying, “Oh, good. You’re dressed.

Let’s go.”

My someday memoir will tire have to include an entire chapter titled “Couldn’t Leave Well Enough Alone.” Once again, I had to push it. I had to ked my know why Sherrod liked ed him brand-new dress. I hunted Honey,” down to the living room. “Honey,” i shade hd I said, “what is it about this of coral that speaks to you?”

“Speaks to me?” he said. “Uh, not sure I was hearing anything.

All I know is that your dress isn’t black. You wear too much black.”

Silence.

“Not that you don’t look good in black,” he said. “You look great in everything.” Pause. “Don’t listen to me. I hardly ever notice.

What you’re wearing, I mean.

Because for me it’s all about your eyes.” He sighed. “Okay. I’m going to go check the mail now.”

I didn’t always wear a lot of black. In my early 30s, during my Little House on the Prairie period, every dress I owned looked like it was cut from tablecloths during the winter months, when the harvesting is done and a girl’s

LIFE IN THE MIDDLE AGES

On the Bright Side

For a decade and a half I dressed mostly in “slimming” black, until I realized my look was more funereal than fashionable. These days, I’m all about color. By Connie Schultz mind turns to stitchery. Lots of florals, with flouncy skirts that get caught in the door of your Chevy after you’ve locked your keys in the car. Or perhaps that’s only happened to me. Just once, during rush hour in downtown Cleveland. I must have waved in traffic for 30 minutes before one of the drivers took me seriously and called the police.

“I raised you girls to wear slips,” my mother said when I

told her what had happened.

“If you’d been wearing a slip, you could have stepped out of your dress”—on one of the busiest streets in downtown Cleveland— “and saved yourself a lot of embarrassment.”

Speaking of Mom, I spent a lot of years resisting colorful Join the conversation!

Sign up to follow Connie’s Life in the Middle Ages blog at parade.com/connie

clot clothes because there was no p point, really, if you were goin to be standing anygoing wher near my mother. She where was the envy of peacocks, that woman.

M Mom was always urging me to wear blue. “It matches your eyes,” she said, over and w over, which is how I ended up s with sky-blue cat-eye glasses at the age of 10. I looked like a 60-yea 60-year-old fifth grader. st I started wearing a lot of blac in my 40s, when I black could no longer lose five pounds by skipping b breakfast.

Neck-to-toe bl black made me feel slimmer and a little more New Yor at a time when it was York clear I was not going to be leaving the Midwest anytime Ne soon. Never, to be more precise.

N long l Not after I turned 50, though, my all-black wardrobe started making me look funereal.

I figured this out after a month of colleagues asking me who had died. One of them even asked if I’d had my iron checked lately.

Mortified, I bought the coral dress that turned my husband into a fashion critic and prompted three friends to ask if I’d lost weight. That was all I needed to hear. Now I have so much color in my closet I need sunglasses to enter the joint.

Mom would be so glad to see I’m big on blue these days.

Blue dresses, blue blazers. Blue shoes, even.

“Matches your eyes,” my husband said, pointing to my sneakers. “Niiiiice.”

ILLUSTRATION: HANNAH SCHERBA

Views

18 | SEPTEMBER 15, 2013

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

LOSE WEIGHT EATING THE FOODS YOU LOVE WITH AMERICA’S #1 HOME DELIVERY

WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM With Nutrisystem Success, great results are on the menu!

That’s because you get incredible variety—OVER 150 EASYTO-PREPARE FOODS—so you’re guaranteed to eat the foods you love as you lose weight! You get BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER AND DESSERT FOR LESS THAN $11 A DAY!† We do all the work for you. Just follow this simple meal plan and you will lose weight!

PLUS, ACT NOW & YOU’LL

GET THIS SPECIAL OFFER!

THE MORE YOU LOSE, THE MORE YOU SAVE!

(with 28-Day Auto-Delivery orders)

TRY NUTRISYSTEM RISK FREE FOR 14 DAYS—YOU’RE GUARANTEED TO SUCCEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!

††

CALL 1-877-560-DIET (3438) OR CLICK NUTRISYSTEM.COM/PAR1513 †Offer good on new 28-Day Auto-Delivery programs only. Savings vary based on plan purchased. Free shipping Continental US only. With this offer you receive an additional discount off the Full Retail Value with each consecutive 28-Day Auto-Delivery order. Additional 5% discount applied to each of the first five consecutive 28-Day plan deliveries up to 50% total savings. With Auto-Delivery, you are automatically charged and shipped your 28-Day program once every 4 weeks unless you cancel. You can cancel Auto-Delivery at any time by calling 1-800-727-8046. Other restrictions apply. Call or see website for details. The Nutrisystem Select program is available to Continental U.S. residents only and cannot be shipped to PO Boxes, APO Boxes or military addresses. Cannot be combined with any prior or current discount or offer. Limit one offer per customer. ©2013 Nutrisystem, Inc. All rights reserved. ††If you’re not 100% satisfied, call within 14 days of receipt, and return the remaining non-frozen food for a full refund. We’ll even cover return shipping. Good on new 28-day first orders only. Limit one guarantee per customer.

On Nutrisystem you add in fresh grocery items. © PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

s! Get up to 50% OFF Nutrisystem Success! Get up to 50% OFF Nutrisystem Success! Get up to 50% OFF Nutrisystem Success! Get up t

WEIGHT LOSS REVEALED!

MELISSA JOAN HART SHARES HER MAGIC! Losing weight used to be a “snap!” After 3 kids, not so much! Other diets didn’t work—with a busy career and active family, she didn’t have time for math or meetings.

EAT LIKE MELISSA JOAN HART!

NUTRISYSTEM DID THE TRICK—MELISSA JOAN HART LOST 30 POUNDS* AND LOOKS GREAT...SEXY, TOO! IT’LL WORK FOR YOU— GUARANTEED!†† Over 150 great-tasting foods to choose from

“Blueberry muffins got my day off to a delicious start!”

Personalized meal plans based on proven science FREE delivery† and FREE online tips and tools “I love mashed potatoes— and Nutrisystem’s are great!”

before

MELISSA JOAN HART LOST 30 LBS.*

THE MORE YOU LOSE, THE MORE YOU SAVE!

SAVE UP TO

50%!

“Hot, cheesy pizza in just minutes? Wow!”

†

(with 28-Day Auto-Delivery orders)

TRY NUTRISYSTEM RISK FREE FOR 14 DAYS— YOU’RE GUARANTEED TO SUCCEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK!††

Call 1-877-710-BODY (2639) Click nutrisystem.com/par1613

“Who wants ice cream? Me!”

BREAKFAST, LUNCH DINNER & DESSERT FOR LESS THAN $11 A DAY!†

*Results not typical. On Nutrisystem, you can expect to lose at least 1-2 lbs. per week. †Offer good on new 28-Day Auto-Delivery programs only. Savings vary based on plan purchased. Free shipping Continental US only. With this offer you receive an additional discount off the Full Retail Value with each consecutive 28-Day Auto-Delivery order. Additional 5% discount applied to each of the first five consecutive 28-Day plan deliveries up to 50% total savings. With Auto-Delivery, you are automatically charged and shipped your 28-Day program once every 4 weeks unless you cancel. You can cancel Auto-Delivery at any time by calling 1-800-727-8046. Other restrictions apply. Call or see website for details. The Nutrisystem Select program is available to Continental U.S. residents only and cannot be shipped to PO Boxes, APO Boxes or military addresses. Cannot be combined with any prior or current discount or offer. Limit one offer per customer. ©2013 Nutrisystem, Inc. All rights reserved. ††If you’re not 100% satisfied, call within 14 days of receipt, and return the remaining non-frozen food for a full refund. We’ll even cover return shipping. Good on new 28-day first orders only. Limit one guarantee per customer.

On Nutrisystem you add in fresh grocery items. © PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved

Better Than Ever The most acclaimed system in its class, now better than ever.

Breakthrough Waveguide Speaker Technology

Plug It In, Enjoy

And More

Setup is really this easy. You’ll be listening in minutes.

Add the optional Multi-CD Changer, Bose Bluetooth® music adapter or dock for your iPod®/iPhone.®

The award-winning Bose ® technology that changed the audio industry.

the more

you hear,

the better it

sounds.

BOSE WAVE® MUSIC SYSTEM III. You’ve heard a lot about the acclaimed Wave® music system.

Now hear the Wave® music system III for yourself. Call us today for a 30-day, risk-free trial that will let you test the sound and features in your own home. Play your favorite CDs, and hear how instruments fill the room with depths and tonal subtleties. Use the slim remote to easily play your favorite radio stations – the upgraded FM/AM tuner has better reception and radio text for song and station information. Or touch the top of the system to turn it on and off, or snooze the alarm. Order by September 30, 2013, and receive the Wave® Bluetooth® music adapter free – a $99 value. The adapter lets you play your smartphone, tablet, laptop or other Bluetooth device through the system – wirelessly and easily. So it becomes an audio hub, and you can enjoy all your music with Bose sound. When you call, also ask about making 12 easy payments with no interest charges from Bose.* Experience the Bose Wave® music system III – the small one-piece system that makes highperformance audio easy.

FREE Wave Bluetooth ®

®

music adapter when you order by September 30, 2013.

Shown in Titanium Silver with free Bluetooth® music adapter.

To order or learn more:

1-800-419-6261, ext. TZ771 | Bose.com/Wave *Bose payment plan available on orders of $299-$1500 paid by major credit card. Separate financing offers may be available for select products. See website for details. Down payment is 1/12 the product price plus applicable tax and shipping charges, charged when your order is shipped. Then, your credit card will be billed for 11 equal monthly installments beginning approximately one month from the date your order is shipped, with 0% APR and no interest charges from Bose. Credit card rules and interest may apply. U.S. residents only. Limit one active financing program per customer. ©2013 Bose Corporation.

The distinctive design of the Wave ® music system is a registered trademark of Bose Corporation. Financing and free adapter offers not to be combined with other offers or applied to previous purchases, and subject to change without notice. Offers valid 8/1/13-9/30/13. If the system is returned, the adapter must be returned for a full refund. Offers are limited to purchases made from Bose and participating authorized dealers. Risk-free refers to 30-day trial only, requires product purchase and does not include return shipping. Delivery is subject to product availability. The Bluetooth® word mark and logos are registered trademarks owned by Bluetooth SIG, Inc. and any use of such marks by Bose Corporation is under license.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved