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s u n day, M a r c h 9, 2 0 1 4 | Pa r a d e .c o m

Conn ie In C h Conn Columnistarge! ie Sch ov ul page er our Facetz takes tomor book “hellorow. Go sa y faceb ” at o parad ok.com/ emag .

10 mustread books for spring The Parade Interview

3 Influential

Women, one Powerful Message What Condoleezza Rice, Sheryl Sandberg, and Girl Scouts CEO Anna Maria Chávez want girls everywhere to know

This trio, sporting their “Ban Bossy” buttons, aim to change the conversation about girls and leadership.

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The Pulitzer-winning humorist, 66, riffs on parenting, air travel, and more in his new book,You Can Date Boys When You’re Forty. How’d you pick this title? It’s someGillian Anderson in Crisis

Q: What’s Gillian Anderson’s new TV show about? —Lana D., South Bend, Ind. A: The former X-Files star, 45, headlines NBC’s Crisis (debuting March 16). She plays a tech-company CEO in D.C. whose daughter is kidnapped on a ﬁeld trip with a group of high school classmates. Now a London-based single mom to her own daughter, 19, and two boys, ages 5 and 7, Anderson says she has to “compartmentalize” to cope with acting out an abduction story line. “The minute I start to project my kids in that scenario,” she says, “I’m gone.”

B. J. Novak

Q: What has B. J. Novak been up to since The Office went off the air last year? —Ted K., Buffalo A: Through eight seasons writing material for the sad sacks of Dunder Mifﬂin and sparring memorably with costar Mindy Kaling,

thing I say to my daughter, who is Join 14. But the book isn’t really totally @ParadeMagazine about parenting. I did suggest other for a Twitter chat titles. My favorite was Dave Barry: with Dave Barry on March 14 at noon ET. You Probably Thought He Was Dead. Does your daughter mind being a Use #ParadeChats subject of jokes for you? She doesn’t to join in! seem to. She’d like to go to college, and she knows I need material. So she’s it. You have a priceless chapter about taking her to a Justin Bieber concert. I had to spend like $18,000 on scalped tickets, then stand there and listen to screaming for three solid hours. Essentially you’re inside a jet engine consisting of teenage girls. Who shaped your sensibility the most? Deﬁnitely my mom. She had this unusually dark, edgy humor for a 1950s housewife. A lot of people loved her. You mock life in Florida a lot. Any regrets about leaving the Northeast, where you grew up? None. If I want snow, I’ll look at it on the Weather Channel. That’s as close as I want to get.

Find out his prescription for marital harmony and read a book excerpt at parade.com/barry.

Novak, 34, compiled lots of ideas that “didn’t ﬁt in that world.” Sample premise: A love robot is stuck on a guy who can’t commit. He turned the best of these into quirky stories for his acclaimed book debut, One More Thing. Says Novak, “I admire Mindy for writing about her own life. Nothing in my life is that interesting, so I make up stories.”

Kristen Bell

Q: How does Kristen Bell like playing Veronica Mars again? —Alicia T., Seattle A: The star, 33, says reprising her mysterysolving TV character opposite bad-boy love interest Jason Dohring (the show wrapped after three seasons in 2007) has been “pretty crazy. It happened because fans wanted it.” A Kickstarter campaign raised over $5 million to fund the film, which opens March 14 and finds Mars in a postcollegiate funk. Why the cult? “People love how snarky Veronica is,” says Bell. “She has a confidence we all wish we had.”

Enter to win a copy of the music documentary 20 Feet From Stardom on Blu-ray, plus a soundtrack CD signed by singer Darlene Love, at facebook.com/parademag.

How is the new Cosmos series different from Carl Sagan’s 1980 original? —Herbert M., Topeka, Kan. A: The new program (premiering tonight on Fox) uses bold special effects and highlights scientists’ stories through animation. But like the original, “it’s about how and why science matters to you,” says astrophysicist host Neil deGrasse Tyson, 55. “That’s what drove Carl Sagan, and that’s what’s driving us now.” For an in-depth look at Tyson and the series, go to parade.com/cosmos. Carl Sagan

2 | MARCH 9, 2014

SUNDAY FREEBIE: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. TO ENTER, GO TO FACEBOOK.COM/PARADEMAG. STARTS 5:00 P.M. ET, 3/7/14, AND ENDS 4:59 P.M. ET, 3/14/14. OPEN TO LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES (D.C.) 13 YEARS AND OLDER, EXCEPT EMPLOYEES OF SPONSOR, THEIR IMMEDIATE FAMILIES, AND THOSE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD. ODDS OF WINNING DEPEND ON THE NUMBER OF ENTRIES RECEIVED. VOID OUTSIDE THE 50 UNITED STATES (D.C.) AND WHERE PROHIBITED. A.R.V. OF THE 5 PRIZES: $36.18 EACH. SPONSOR: PARADE MEDIA GROUP. THIS PROMOTION IS IN NO WAY SPONSORED, ENDORSED OR ADMINISTERED BY, OR ASSOCIATED WITH, FACEBOOK. PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: VIVIAN ZINK/NBC; CHRISTOPHER POLK/GETTY IMAGES FOR WONDERWALL; TONY KORODY/SYGMA/CORBIS; JENNIFER ROCHOLL. ILLUSTRATION: CHARLIE POWELL

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EVEN MORE BOOKS! Scan here for a list of 10 more reads we loved and think you’ll enjoy, too.

Parade 1

Edited by Vi-An Nguyen /

Where Nobody Knows Your Name Sportswriter John Feinstein takes readers down the dusty roads of minor league baseball with a vivid look at the players dreaming of a shot at the big leagues. See how much they earn at parade.com/ball.

L I K E U S O N FA C E B O O K . C O M / PA R A D E M A G

Little Failure Jumping from novels to memoir, witty author Gary Shteyngart (Super Sad True Love Story) chronicles his immigration from Soviet Russia to the U.S. with equal doses of tragedy and hilarity.

NEW BOOKS YOU’LL LOVE! Make room on the shelves for these fascinating reads on everything from history to Hollywood.

You Must Remember This Actor Robert Wagner warmly reminisces about Hollywood’s ’40s and ’50s golden age. Read about ﬁve of his star-studded stories at parade .com/wagner.

Five Came Back Film and history buffs will devour Mark Harris’s dramatic true story of ﬁve movie directors who served in World War II and their ﬁlms that profoundly shaped attitudes on the home front.

5 9 4 8

10 7

Astoria In this harrowing historical tale of adventure and hardship, journalist Peter Stark re-creates a largely forgotten 19th-century expedition— during which one group crossed the Rockies and another sailed around Cape Horn—to establish America’s ﬁrst colony on the Paciﬁc Northwest coast.

READ EXCERPTS from many of these selections at parade.com/books.

The Invention of Wings When Sarah gets a slave girl called Handful for her 11th birthday, it’s the start of a complicated, lifelong relationship. Sue Monk Kidd’s engrossing story is an Oprah’s Book Club pick.

10% Happier In a self-help guide even skeptics will embrace, ABC News’ Dan Harris crushes stereotypes about meditation and recounts how it slashed his stress and quieted his anxious mind.

Showtime NBA fans will soak up Jeff Pearlman’s rich portrait of the 1980s Los Angeles Lakers, whose fast-paced style and glamorous marquee players like Magic Johnson made them the perfect team for Tinseltown.

On Such a Full Sea A teenage girl may unknowingly hold the key to the world’s survival in this gripping novel by Chang-rae Lee, set in a disconcertingly plausible future version of America.

That Part Was True In Deborah McKinlay’s charming novel, an American thriller writer strikes up an unlikely friendship, via letters and email, with a British woman drawn to his protagonist’s love of cooking.

4 | MARCH 9, 2014

amazon’s 100 book bucket list

The savvy book editors at Amazon .com chose 100 books everyone should read in a lifetime. Get a taste of their selections below—and tell us how many you’ve checked off the list at facebook.com/parademag.

Anne FrAnk: The DiAry oF A young girl

The harrowing journal of a Jewish teen in hiding remains an indelible account of the horrors of the Holocaust.

BeloveD

This favorite of Oprah Winfrey by Toni Morrison, a Nobel Prize for Literature laureate, is an unflinching look at the crime of slavery.

greAT expecTATions

One hundred fifty years after it was published, Charles Dickens’s 19th-century coming-of-age story still resonates and inspires imitators today.

hArry poTTer AnD The sorcerer’s sTone

It’s the tale that started it all: the magic, Quidditch, the hit movie franchise, and J. K. Rowling’s publishing empire.

inTerpreTer oF MAlADies

Jhumpa Lahiri won a Pulitzer Prize for her moving collection of stories about Indians and Indian Americans navigating the old and new worlds.

love in The TiMe oF cholerA

This tale of thwarted love from Gabriel García Márquez is as much of a masterpiece

The greAT gATsBy

With timeless themes of wealth and the past, it’s no surprise that F. Scott Fitzgerald’s masterpiece is often deemed the Great American Novel.

See all

100

of the books on Amazon’s reading list at parade.com/bucket.

as the author’s One Hundred Years of Solitude.

Me TAlk preTTy one DAy

David Sedaris, an incisive comic writer, is at his best in this collection of essays about the absurdity of life and being the underdog.

The poisonwooD BiBle

Barbara Kingsolver takes on sin and redemption in this powerful novel about a family of Baptist missionaries in the Belgian Congo.

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The Things They cArrieD

Tim O’Brien’s poetic, chilling vignettes about Vietnam War soldiers, published in 1990, have become the standard to which all war literature is compared.

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This delightful collection of irreverent poems and drawings by Shel Silverstein has stoked imaginations for four decades.

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Leading by Example

How three of the most influential women in America are empowering young girls by Lynn Sherr

s her class vice president at Highland Oaks junior high in Miami, ninth grader Sheryl Sandberg wasn’t shy about raising her voice. “We had real changes we wanted to make in student government,” she recalls about the goals she and the class president, her best friend Mindy Levy, set out to accomplish. But instead of praising the girls for their work, a faculty adviser encouraged Levy to drop Sandberg from her ticket the next year. “She’s too aggressive, too bossy,” the teacher said. “You don’t want to be bossy.” For both young women, her point was clear: Girls aren’t supposed to lead. Fortunately Sandberg didn’t listen. This week the Facebook COO, 44, celebrates the one-year anniversary of her best-selling book Lean In, a memoir–cum–call to action that launched a social movement. In every state and 50 countries, women are gathering in more than 14,000 “Lean In Circles” to support one another as they aim higher in their careers. Now, Sandberg—along with two of America’s most dynamic leaders, former secretary of state

Cover and opening photographs by Patrick Ecclesine

6 | MARCH 9, 2014

trailblazers Condoleezza Rice, Sheryl Sandberg, and Anna Maria Chávez with five Girl Scouts representing Troop 60942 from San Jose, Calif. (from left): Emily Xie, 13; Tracie Fait, 11; Cloe Smith, 13; Genesis Fitzhugh, 13; and Emily Macias, 11.

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Condoleezza Rice, 59, and Anna Maria Chávez, 45, the CEO of the Girl Scouts of the USA—is applying some of the movement’s lessons to the next generation. Together, these women are launching a public service campaign to ban the word bossy, a negative label they say is too often applied to young girls, and one of the many ways we discourage them from speaking up. “Words matter,” says Rice, now a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Indeed, in a Girl Scouts study of 8- to 17-year-olds, one-third of girls who said they didn’t want to be leaders attributed their hesitancy to a fear of being disliked by their peers. “We are trying to get at the subtleties, the messages that keep girls from achieving,” says Rice. For Chávez, who has held distinguished government positions (including policy adviser to both an Arizona governor and a U.S. secretary of transportation), the campaign is about allowing all children the opportunity to reach their potential. “I’m raising an 11-year-old son and 2 million girls,” she says, referring to the Girl Scouts’ membership. “We need to create an even playing field for everyone.” Recently, the three joined Parade at the Facebook campus in Silicon Valley, where they discussed the unique challenges young women face today and revealed some of the keys to their own success.

To join the campaign, post “i will #banbossy” on Facebook and Twitter. 8 | March 9, 2014

So, you were bossy?

COVER AND INSIDE: STYLING, MICAH BISHOP FOR ARTIST UNTIED. CHáVEZ: HAIR AND MAKEUP, TAMARA BROWN FOR ARTIST UNTIED. SANDBERG: HAIR AND MAKEUP, JOHN OLAVARRIA

where they began From left, Sandberg, age 3; a 7-year-old Rice visiting the White House; and Chávez in her fourth-grade school photo.

all reached great heights in your careers. Who encouraged you?

CR: Yes, I was. But in a good way. The word has a bad connotation. SS: I tell parents, instead of saying, “My daughter is bossy,” try, “My daughter has executive leadership skills.” I’ve never had anyone say that without laughing. Now say it for a boy: “My son has executive leadership skills.” There’s no humor in that sentence, which reveals the difference in our expectations. Women still represent only 4 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs. And more worrisome is

Lynn SheRR: You’ve

COnDOLeeZZA RICe: My

parents elected me president of the family when I was 4. We actually had an election every year and I always won. I’m an only child, and I could count on my mother’s vote. But the role had substantive responsibility. I would call meetings where we’d decide things like what color to paint the living room. As I got older, I realized that what my parents were doing was sending messages about leadership potential. AnnA MARIA CháVeZ: Instead of teaching me how to cook, my mother taught my brothers how to cook, and me how to run a board meeting. She was an elected official, and she used to take me to meetings so I could see how leadership played out. SheRyL SAnDBeRG: I, too, had very supportive parents who told me I could do everything. But the rest of the messages I got from society were pretty negative on leadership. When i first got to New York in my 20s, i was told by every newspaper editor, “We don’t hire girls.” do you have similar horror stories? AMC: In the 1950s and ’60s, you did not see women of color, especially Latinas, in leadership positions. When my family would go to support my mother’s campaigns, people would yell at my father, “Put your woman in her place!” My dad had to fight men in the community to say, “This is her place. Her place is to lead.” CR: I remember when I was 6 years old, we were having an event at school where different dolls were on display. I said that the tallest doll needed to be on the end, and my little friend said to me, “Oh, you’re just so bossy.” I remember thinking that wasn’t a good thing. But I kept insisting the doll had to be on the end anyway. [laughs]

Legal Notice

U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York

Literary Works in Electronic Databases Copyright Litigation To: Freelance authors of English language literary works This is a summary notice of a revised class action settlement. Please read this notice. It may affect your legal rights.

What is this proposed settlement about? A settlement has been reached in a class action lawsuit alleging that commercial electronic databases and newspapers and magazines infringed the copyrights of freelance authors. The lawsuit alleges that newspapers and magazines, after publishing the works with the authors’ permission, then sold them to the electronic databases without the authors’ permission. The current settlement is a revision of a previous proposed settlement that was reached in 2005. The settlement applies to English language literary works that were reproduced on a commercial electronic database without the authors’ permission. Works may still be eligible even if not registered with the U.S. Copyright Office, and even if they were originally published outside the U.S. Excluded are works for hire and works for which the author granted electronic rights to the original publisher. Freelance authors were notified of the previous settlement, and the deadline for submitting compensation claims under that settlement was September 30, 2005. Additional details about eligible works and your options are contained in the full Notice of Revised Class Action Settlement, available at www.copyrightclassaction.com. What do I need to do? Class members have three options: (i) do nothing; (ii) exclude yourself from the settlement; (iii) object to the settlement. To remain a class member, you do not need to do anything. To be eligible for a settlement payment, you must have already submitted a timely, valid claim under the previous settlement in 2005. If you did so, then you need to do nothing further to participate in the settlement. (You will eventually hear from the Claims Administrator about the validity of your claim.) You may still exclude yourself from the settlement. You must (1) mail a written request for exclusion, postmarked by May 9, 2014, Electronic Databases Copyright Litigation, EXCLUSION REQUEST, c/o GCG, PO Box 10033, Dublin, OH 43017-6633, or (2) submit an exclusion request online at www.copyrightclassaction.com by that date. To object to the settlement, you must file a written objection by May 9, 2014. Further information on each option is available at www.copyrightclassaction.com. Final Fairness Hearing A hearing on the proposed settlement will be held June 10, 2014 at 10:00 a.m. by U.S. District Judge George B. Daniels, U.S. District Court, 500 Pearl Street, New York, NY 10007, to determine whether the settlement should be approved. Class members or their counsel may appear in Court. I have new contact information, whom should I contact? If you have changed your mailing or e-mail address since the original settlement in 2005, you should notify the Claims Administrator, whose contact information is in the full Notice of Revised Class Action Settlement. If the Claims Administrator does not have your correct contact information, you may not receive your settlement payment (assuming you already submitted a valid claim in 2005) or notice of important developments in this class action. Please do not contact the Court. Dated: January 22, 2014 By Order of the Court The Honorable George B. Daniels

TE PUR ND

SIL GAL VE R!

So much of what you’re saying echoes the women’s movement in the ’60s and ’70s. SS: That’s

part of the problem. I’m still saying many of the same things Betty Friedan said. And I want to stop saying them. I want to put Lean In right out of business.

do you believe that a female president would help change the status quo? CR: I think it would be terrific. I

really look forward to that day. dare i ask if there’s someone in particular you’d vote for?

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SS: I’d

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CR: Well, thanks, but you’re not

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going to get that chance. It is important, though, that women are inside the central committees of our party leadership— that they run for statehouse, for Congress. There is an expected road into [the presidency]. SS: The road starts in school. Research done by the Girl Scouts shows us that by middle school, more boys than girls are interested in leading. If we’re going to fix the pipeline from statehouse to president, we have to start young. One of the reasons I wrote Lean In is that my daughter, when she was 4, asked me, “Mommy, why are all the presidents boys?” AMC: When we talk about investing in girls, we’re not saying to divest from boys. It’s about ensuring that we have every capable person prepared to lead. This country has some 10 | March 9, 2014

that the number has been stagnant for a decade. What hasn’t changed fast enough is our acceptance and encouragement of female leadership. That’s goes for all of us—parents, teachers, managers, society, everyone. So much of what you’re saying echoes the women’s movement in the ’60s and ’70s. SS: That’s

part of the problem. I’m still saying many of the same things Betty Friedan said. And I want to stop saying them. I want to put Lean In right out of business.

do you believe that a female president would help change the status quo? CR: I think it would be terrific. I

really look forward to that day. dare i ask if there’s someone in particular you’d vote for? SS: I’d

vote for Condi!

CR: Well, thanks, but you’re not

serious problems. We need every brain cell around our decision-making tables.

AMC: All

What’s your advice for future leaders?

What do you think is unique about girls today?

What’s the ultimate goal in terms of putting women in leadership positions?

SS: Believe in yourself, because the world will

AMC: They are ready to lead. I see girls lobby-

not always encourage you. CR: Leadership is hard because everybody who doesn’t actually want to do it wants to tell you how to do it. You’d better have thick skin. AMC: We’re all born with innate qualities to lead, but it takes a lot of practice. And there’s no time to waste. Research shows that almost half the girls in the United States are living in [low-income households]. We’ve got to invest

ing town hall to build a safer crosswalk for their elementary school. My world, when I was a kid, was my backyard. Their world is the globe. It’s time. CR: What has always made our country special is that it doesn’t matter where you come from; it matters where you’re going. Our job is to make certain the pathways are open to both our boys and our girls.

SS: Women are 50 percent of the population, so I

want them to have 50 percent of the leadership roles in every industry, at every level. And I’d like to see men doing half of what needs to happen in their homes. That will make a huge difference. CR: The day has to come when it’s not a surprise that a woman has a powerful position. We’ve actually had three women secretaries of state, and people still say, “female secretary of state.”

Lean In’S leSSonS FoR giRlS Why young Women

should ignore the B-Word

In an effort to turn the tide against discouraging stereotypes, the “Ban Bossy” campaign aims to help parents and teachers empower girls to stand up and speak out. Here, a few examples of the campaign’s tips: FoR pARentS … Help her commit small acts of assertiveness. With your daughter, generate a list of ways she can use her voice, like ordering at a restaurant or raising her hand regularly in class. Being brave is rarely about dramatic moments: It’s a skill acquired, little by little, over time. FoR eduCAtoRS … observe dynamics in group work. Girls often complete the work of peers who slack off. If they get used to doing work without credit, they don’t learn to push for recognition when they deserve it. FoR giRlS … Stop apologizing. Girls tend to introduce opinions with apologies (“I’m not sure if this is right, but …”). Pay attention to that, as well as to the other little ways you might be making yourself small, like talking softly or using “upspeak” (making statements sound like questions).

Take the “ban bossy” pledge and learn more at banbossy.com.

three were Girl Scouts!

in them so they can break the cycle.

Legal Notice

If you purchased a new computer with a certain Pentium 4 processor for personal, family, or household use between November 20, 2000 and June 30, 2002, a pending class action lawsuit may affect your rights. What is the Class Action About? Purchasers of computers containing a certain Pentium 4 processor are suing Intel Corporation and Hewlett-Packard Company. The lawsuit claims that Intel manipulated the performance scores for its frst-generation Pentium 4 processor (codenamed Willamette) and that HP helped Intel. The Plaintiffs want the Court to stop Intel from using this practice in the future. Plaintiffs also want Intel and HP to repay the Class any money the companies may have received as a result of those business practices. Intel and HP have denied any liability and all claims of misconduct. No money or benefts are available now because the Court has not yet decided whether Intel or HP did anything wrong. In addition, the Court has stayed the case as to HP pending resolution of the claims against Intel. There is no guarantee that money or benefts will ever be obtained. Who Are Class Members? The Class includes all residents of the United States, other than those residing in Illinois, who (i) purchased a new computer equipped with a Pentium 4 processor, (ii) purchased the computer between November 20, 2000 and December 31, 2001, and (iii) purchased the computer for personal, family, or household use; and all residents of the United States, other than those residing in Illinois, who (i) purchased a new computer equipped with a frst-generation (Willamette) Pentium 4 processor or a Pentium 4 processor at speeds below 2.0 GHz, (ii) purchased the computer between January 1, 2002 and June 30, 2002, and (iii) purchased the computer for personal, family, or household use. If you are a California resident and purchased your computer from HP, you are also in the HP Subclass defned by the Court.

Your Rights and Options You have to decide whether to stay in the Class and, if applicable, the HP Subclass, or ask to be excluded and you have to decide this by April 30, 2014. You cannot wait to see the result of any trial before making this decision. If you think you are a class member, you can get detailed information about the class action, its potential effects on you and your rights by visiting www.IntelPentium4Litigation.com. To Remain a Class Member If you don’t do anything, you will stay in the Class and, if applicable, the HP Subclass and you will be bound by the Court’s rulings in the lawsuit, including any fnal settlement or judgment. If you do not exclude yourself from the Class and, if applicable, the HP Subclass, you can have your own lawyer appear in Court for you if you want someone other than the lawyers representing the Class to speak for you. If the Plaintiffs obtain money or other benefts, another notice will be issued that will explain what you need to do to receive any benefts from this case. To Exclude Yourself from the Class, and if Applicable, the HP Subclass If you exclude yourself, or get out of the Class and, if applicable, the HP Subclass, you will retain your right to sue regarding the subject of this class action. To ask to be excluded from the Class and, if applicable, the HP Subclass, you must send an “Exclusion Request” letter by mail stating that you want to be excluded from the Class and, if applicable, the HP Subclass in Skold v. Intel. If you are a member of the HP Subclass and only ask to be excluded from the “Class,” you will also be excluded from the HP Subclass. Be sure to include your name and address, and sign the letter. Exclusion Requests must be postmarked by April 30, 2014 and mailed to: Girard Gibbs LLP, Skold v. Intel Exclusions, 601 California Street, 14th Floor, San Francisco, CA 94108.

Views

in the newsroom 20 years ago.

recently been hired after years of freelancing to work at a daily newspaper. My boss had a reputation for humiliating his reporters in a loud baritone. We were disagreeing about a story I had yet to report when he yelled, “You do what I tell you to do. That is your job.” I slinked back to my desk, I still remember the exact, terrifying moment I my eyes focused on the ground. took charge of my career By Connie Schultz It was the umpteenth time he’d reduced me to a minion. On that day, however, it was about to bossy—to be “in charge,” as she The late African-American be the last. always put it—so it never oc- poet Lucille Clifton I took a deep breath curred to me that this particular once wrote, “What and walked back B-word could be an insult. In our they call you is to his desk in CONNECT WITH CONNIE family, it was a positive job review. one thing. What the middle of She is taking over our After reading Parade’s round- you answer to is the newsroom. Facebook page on Monday! table discussion with Sheryl something else.” Ignor ing his Visit facebook.com /parademag between 9 a.m. Sandberg, Condoleezza Rice and I have this quote glare, I cleared and 8 p.m. ET to join Anna Maria Chávez, I can see taped to my deskmy throat and the conversation about how some people—let’s call them top computer. said, in an equally women and work. troglodytes—use the term bossy to We’ve all known loud voice, “To be shame a woman into being a someone eager to tell clear here: This is not lesser version of herself. us who we are. The key is to my job. This is my career. I’m The idea, always, is to make us be just as eager to set the in charge of that.” feel guilty, even if we can’t explain record straight. My voice might have been why. Labels—such as bossy, For me, that moment came a shaky and my knees wobbling, aggressive, and ambitious—have a few weeks after my conversation but a different woman returned way of shutting us down. with the other moms in the to my desk. But only with our permission. school hallway. I was 36, and had And she was here to stay.

Who’s the Boss?

12 | MARCH 9, 2014

PHOTO: COURTESY OF CONNIE SCHULTZ

ON THE JOB Pictured above, Connie

“

We’ve all known someone eager to tell us who we are. The key is to be just as eager to set the record straight.

“

n December 1994, I was standing in a school hallway chatting with other mothers when it became clear I was no longer one of them. We had just watched our second graders perform in their holiday program, and the conversation turned to the looming two-week break. I was a newly single mother with a new full-time job, too. I mentioned that I would have to work through most of my daughter’s vacation. One of the mothers gasped. “Work!” she said, as everyone else stared at me. “What on earth will you do with your daughter?” My cheeks burned as I struggled for a punch line. “Well,” I said, “I ﬁgure if I put her food and water bowl inside her crate, she’ll be just ﬁne until I get home.” The round of giggles and apologies did nothing to assuage my guilt. Still, I ended up grateful for that exchange because of what it taught me. We can’t let others define us. Figuring out who we are has to be an inside job. My mother always claimed that I was born mouthy. As if she had nothing to do with that. The oldest of four, I was raised to be

THE

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1Thai-Style Grapefruit Salad

Supreme 2 grapefruits. (See instructions at right.) Fry 2 thinly sliced shallots in ½ inch vegetable oil until goldenbrown, about 2 minutes; drain on paper towels. Whisk ¼ cup fresh lime juice and 3 Tbsp each ﬁsh sauce and sugar in a large bowl until sugar dissolves. Toss with 1 sliced cucumber, 1 head red leaf lettuce, torn into pieces, and grapefruit segments. Season with salt. Divide among 4 plates, then top each salad with fried shallots and a few spoonfuls toasted unsweetened shredded coconut, chopped toasted peanuts, and chopped fresh mint leaves. Sprinkle with thinly sliced Thai chiles, if desired.

Fennel and Meyer Lemon Salad

Whisk juice of ½ Meyer lemon and 3 Tbsp extravirgin olive oil in a large bowl; season with salt and pepper. Add ½ bulb fennel, cored and very thinly sliced; one 5-oz package baby arugula; and ½ thinly sliced Meyer lemon. Toss, season with salt and pepper, and serve topped with shaved Parmesan cheese.

Combine 2 Tbsp fresh lime juice, ¹⁄³ cup each rice wine vinegar and soy sauce, 4 chopped garlic cloves, and 2 Tbsp canola oil in a large zip-top plastic bag. Add 1¼ lbs pork tenderloin and seal; refrigerate at least 4 hours and up to overnight. Pat dry, then roast on a rimmed baking sheet in a 475°F oven, about 20 minutes. Let rest 10 minutes, then slice pork against grain.

with Grape4 Shrimp fruit-Butter Sauce

Did you try our supreme technique? Share a pic at facebook .com/parademag.

IN SEASON

Sweet

tart 5 ways to brighten a cold day with citrus

Melt 1 Tbsp butter in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add ½ lb peeled and deveined shrimp, season with salt, and cook, turning once, until opaque, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer to a plate, then add 2 Tbsp minced shallot to the pan and cook, stirring, 1 minute. Add ½ cup fresh grapefruit juice and cook, stirring, until shallots are barely covered in liquid, 2 to 3 minutes. Add 1 Tbsp butter and any shrimp juices from plate. Spoon sauce over shrimp.

Stewed 5 Orange Chicken with Olives

Melt 2 Tbsp butter in a medium pot and brown 4 chicken legs on both sides over medium-high heat until golden, about 3 minutes each; transfer to a plate. Add ½ onion, cut into thick slices, and cook until softened. Add 1 lb halved baby Yukon

COOK’S TIP

HOW TO SUPREME It’s not a dance move— it’s the quickest way to cut citrus segments from the pith and membrane.

Slice off top and bottom of citrus so it sits ﬂat on a cutting board.

Slice off peel and white pith in long, vertical strips, following curve of fruit.

Working over a bowl, cut between membranes to release each segment.

gold potatoes, 1 cup fresh orange juice, 1 cup pitted green olives, 1 cup water, and ¹⁄³ cup raisins; season with salt and pepper, then arrange chicken on top and bring to a gentle simmer. Cover and cook until potatoes are tender, about 35 minutes. Sprinkle with chopped fresh parsley.

14 | MARCH 9, 2014

PHOTOS, FROM TOP: GETTY IMAGES; ISTOCKPHOTO; GETTY IMAGES (2). ILLUSTRATION: BROWN BIRD DESIGN

Table Around the

Pork 3 Soy-Lime Tenderloin

Ask Marilyn By Marilyn vos Savant

i know that “supercooling” lowers the temperature of a liquid below freezing without it becoming a solid. sometimes this happens with a bottle of soda that gets too cold in the fridge or is left outdoors in the winter. You can see the soda freeze as soon as you touch the bottle. i’ve heard that “superheating” exists, too. but do you know of an example? —Jake Ziegler, New York City

Yes, and it’s a cautionary one. If you heat a cup of water in the microwave for too long, the water can go past the boiling point without actively bubbling. Then, when you add a tea bag or instant coffee, boiling liquid may suddenly explode out of the cup. The burst can range from mild to violent and has the potential to cause severe burns. An eruption from superheated water in a microwave isn’t a common event, but like that fast-frozen soda spectacle, it does occur now and then. You can greatly reduce the risk of it ever happening to you by leaving a simple wooden stirring stick in the cup while the water is heating. (A popsicle stick will work fine.) This will give bubbles a surface against which to form (technically called a nucleation site). To play this week’s Numbrix, or to ask Marilyn a question, go to

parade.com/askmarilyn.

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