Issue 3 - September 12, 2012

sputnik

the

Wednesday, September 12, 2012 - Issue 3 // www.thesputnik.ca

News

2

On Campus

6

Features

4

A&E

8

Sports

10

Opinion

12

Conestoga to Con-Ed: A Pipeline Join Brantford’s to Nowhere?

Over 12,000 teaching graduates will fight for ‘Academic under 5,500 jobsRow’ this year. page 4 Partnership with Laurier likely page 3

Federal Funding Secured for Laurier YMCA Building page 2

O Week Air Rifle Shooting page 3

O Week Recap page 6

Swingers’ Club page 4

2

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

NEWS

Jordan Johnston // news@thesputnik.ca

YMCA Complex secures 16.7m in federal funding EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Graeme Gordon eic@thesputnik.ca ADVERTISING & DISTRIBUTION COORDINATOR

Angela Taylor angela.taylor@wlusp.com (519) 884-0710 ext. 3560 PHOTO EDITOR Olivia Rutt photography@thesputnik.ca ART EDITOR Diane Sison art.editor@thesputnik.ca WEB EDITOR To be hired web@thesputnik.ca

Minister of Human Resources Skills Department, Diane Finley, presents the funding announcement to students and community members. (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

Jordan Johnston News Editor On Friday, September 7, members of the community gathered at the East Wing of the Research and Academic Centre anxiously awaiting the news of $16.7 million in federal funding for the Laurier Brantford YMCA Athletics and Recreation Complex.

Invitations were sent out to members of the community earlier in the week for a “special announcement from Honourable Minister Diane Finley and Brant MP Phil McColeman.”

The funding was announced by HaldimandNorfolk MP and Minister of Human Resources Skills Development, Diane Finley.

Minister Diane Finley explained and could not emphasize enough that such an opportunity does not come along often.

“The government realizes how important having projects like this are for a community.”

Finley concluded her announcement by acknowledging the efforts of the entire community, “Great minds, great community, coming together to work together.”

Although funding has now been secured by all the levels of government, Brantford Mayor Chris Friel urged the community and supporters “to come together and make it a reality.”

Community and student financial support will still be required. Another $18 million still needs to be raised. A student referendum will decide on an added fee to tuition.

Dr. Max Blouw, president and vice-chancellor of Wilfrid Laurier University feels passionately about this significant investment for the school.

“It is great to see that the federal and provincial government could come together and make this grant happen for this location,” said Dr. Blouw.

Jim Commerford, the CEO of the YMCA commented, “The patience and time that this development took will make the community stronger and be well worth the wait.”

Commerford continued to discuss some statistics and how the YMCA will be able to further help and develop the community.

“There are high levels of obesity and with obesity, the health care costs increase. When healthy living is promoted, and more en-

forced, the chances in reducing health care costs are increased.”

Over the next 3-4 years there should be major development in the downtown core.

This development is planned to make a huge difference, even though some people are still adjusting to the land that now stands vacant where many buildings once were on Colbourne Street.

The success of the grant is being credited largely to the persistence of Phil McColeman, Brantford’s Member of Parliament. Dave Levac (MPP of Brantford), Finley, and Friel all gave special mention to McColeman’s tireless efforts in securing the grant from Ottawa.

The Laurier/YMCA athletics complex is one of ten architectural projects selected among hundreds of projects from across the world. The 130,000 square-foot facility will include a pool, multiple gymnasiums, a fitness center, and health and wellness promotions.

The athletics complex will be open to the local Brantford community and will accommodate the rising student population of Laurier Brantford. The complex will also be fully accessible to people of all abilities.

COPY EDITORS Ahmed Minhas Alicia Saunders Jessica Lalonde SECTION EDITORS Jordan Johnston, Local News Matt Mente, On Campus Layla Bozich, Features Courtney Langstaff, A&E Kyle Morison, Sports Leisha Senko, Opinion CONTRIBUTORS Graeme Gordon Allison Leonard Olivia Rutt Diane Sison Matt Mente Courtney Langstaff Layla Bozich Leisha Senko Kyle Morrison Carla Egesi Alex Zima Anthony Fusco Cody Hoffman Caleb Godin Aaleya Waslat

WLUSP BRANTFORD MANAGER OF OPERATIONS Allison Leonard allison.leonard@wlusp.com PHONE (519) 756-8228 ext.5948 202-171 Colborne St. N3T 2C9

WLUSP OFFICE 205 Regina Street Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3C5 PRESIDENT Emily Frost (519) 884-0710 ext.3565 emily.frost@wlusp.com ADVERTISING Angela Taylor (519)884-0710 ext. 3560 angela@wlusp.com Chris Friel, Dave Levac, Phil McColeman, Diane Finley, Max Blouw, Jim Commerford. (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

Darren Thomas gives thanks. (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

O-Week students shot with BB Gun Matt Mente On Campus Editor At 8:30am on Monday, September 3, Laurier Brantford students had just begun moving into Expositor residence when they heard the bang of a BB gun directed their way. This display was Dalhousie Street resident Andrew Stephen Vukic’s novel approach to having his sleep interrupted last Monday Morning.

Disturbed by the noise, Vukic, who resided in an apartment across the street from the residence opened his window and fired at least six shots from a Ruger P345 Airsoft BB gun into the crowd of students. By all accounts Vukic hit three students in the arms and legs,

none of whom were injured. After the shooting it seems that Vukic closed his window and went back to sleep. Upon responding to the call Brantford Police arrested Vukic, 19, in his apartment charging him with three counts of assault with a weapon and one count of possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose.

After being held in custody, Vukic’s bail hearing has been remanded to October 2.

The BB gun used by Vukic was a low-end Carbon Dioxide powered handgun. While not as common as in the United States, Airsoft guns are still available in Canada. The weapons are designed to simulate the appearance and feel of real weapons, being modeled after everything from handguns to rifles. The obvi-

ous and major difference between an Airsoft gun and a real weapon is that Airsoft weapons fire small 6mm BBs which only weigh around a quarter of a gram. The weapons are widely used in tactical games and historical re-enactments. The weapons are generally considered safe, people operating BB guns are still excepted to wear eye protection at all times as any BB striking the eye or other sensitive areas around the face can cause serious damage.

Fortunately for students and Brantford residents alike, this minor incident marked the only conflict encountered by first year students being welcomed to the city of Brantford.

The Sputnik is an editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications, Waterloo. Contact Emily Frost - WLUSP, 205 Regina Street The Sputnik is a proud member of the Canadian University Press (CUP) Opinions expressed in The Sputnik are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the Editorial staff, The Sputnik, WLUSP, WLU or CanWeb Printing Inc.

FRONT PAGE PHOTO CREIDTS: Main: Olivia Rutt Left: Allison Leonard Centre: Olivia Rutt Right: Olivia Rutt

!" !

! "#$ $ % $ &' % ()& %$ *

!

!

! " # $

%

& ' "

!

( ! )

! " # #$%" &% ' (

( ( + $ *

%

!

+(,, -(,,

.

5 8 :

, %

/ %

0 % 12 3 4 4

/ % 6 7

4

4

6 9

; $ !

!

6 4

$% . < :,

=, >1 ? =- ,, @+(,, -(,, A !

5 8 :

! / %

0 %

=, -, =1 ,,

5 B

0 % =. ,, @-(,, +(,, A 8 / %

!

/ %

0 % =:1 ,,

$ +$ $ $' -. // 0' -1. 2-3 4311 Thomas Mulclair is the new leader of the New Democrat Party. (Photo by Lee Richardson/CUP)

4

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Features

Layla Bozich // features@thesputnik.ca

Raising the stakes: the lives of student gamblers Nicole Siena The Eye Opener- Ryerson

TORONTO (CUP) — Jamie Weidl started playing poker with his friends when he was in Grade 8. By the time he was 16, he had created an account on an online poker website, allowing him to play any time and bet as much as he wanted. He started by putting $50 in his account, and slowly started winning after a few missteps.

Over the course of the next few months, Weidl had reloaded his account two more times with $50 — but after the third time, he never had to again.

Soon he was playing up to 16 hours a day, turning a profit at a game he enjoyed. “It would go in spurts,” he says.

“Maybe I wouldn’t play for a few days, but then there would be three weeks where I didn’t even leave my apartment. It was pretty intense.

It was definitely an addiction.”

According to a study done by Ontario's Responsible Gaming Council (RGC) in 2005, one in 14 individuals in the 18 to 24-year-old demographic have a moderate to severe gambling problem. Men are twice as likely as women to be problem gamblers.

“We know that one in 14 young adults are at the highest risk,” says Barry KoenButt, the director of awareness programs and communications for the RGC. “We recognize that demographic is of the higher risk than the general population.”

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) says gambling is a problem when it gets in the way of work, school, or other activities, harms mental health or physical health, hurts financially, damages reputation, or causes problems with family or friends. Weidl did eventually drop out of school to focus on poker. But unlike most addictions, Weidl’s was making him money.

“I was making enough money to pay for school, and had enough money to live pretty decently in Toronto,” he says.

He dropped out of Ryerson’s geographic analysis program when he was in his second year, leaving his academic life behind to play online poker full-time, even gaining a sponsorship from one site.

“They would pay me, basically, to play on the site,” says Weidl. “The more I played, the more they would give me. I was close to a major sponsorship, where they would pay me to go to events.”

However, in April 2011 the FBI seized the three largest poker sites in the United States, charging eleven defendants with fraud and money laundering. At that point, Weidl’s online career was essentially over. He moved back to Windsor, where he now plays at a casino for 50 hours per week. Mathematically, the typical gambler doesn’t have Weidl’s success rate.

Even if they do, a long run of bad luck can leave them with nothing if they haven’t planned accordingly. The advice Weidl gives to students is not to do it unless you have a big enough wallet.

“If you don’t have enough money to back yourself, then you can back yourself into a hole,” he says. “Some people don’t know how to manage it. You have to have a big enough bankroll to withstand the variance.”

Variance is a mathematical concept in poker to describe the ups and downs of a chance-based game. Playing poker in a style with a high variance means that your swings will be larger; you could lose everything in a run of bad luck.

Inevitably, most gamblers lose. But the

Photo Illustration provided by LIndsay Boeckl, The Eyeopener- Ryerson

thrill of winning money that keeps Weidl at the tables can still hold a losing player there, causing problems both socially and financially. To help raise awareness of gambling addiction, the RGC has created a program called Know the Score (KTS).

“We go into colleges and universities, talk to students about key messages and what the risks are [with gambling],” Koen-Butt says. The program started in 2001, after a study showed that university students are of the highest risk. KTS creator Lisa Couperus, manager of special projects and programs at RGC, worked with students and professional staff on campuses to create the program. Originally appearing in eight schools across Ontario, it is now at over 26 different campuses.

The RGC’s most recent campaign features poker chips wrapped in condom wrappers to promote safe gambling, and can be found across campus and in places like the Ryerson’s Recreation and Athletic Centre (RAC). Ian Jenkins, a fourthyear criminal justice student who Weidl introduced to poker, says that someone with a serious gambling problem probably isn’t working out or having much of a social life, so the ads might not be effective.

“It’s probably better to target addicted gamblers online or on the poker sites themselves,” he says. “Kids might look at it as a joke — meanwhile, someone may be getting worse and worse. That should be the time you save them from falling into a pit of addiction.”

Robert Williams, a professor in the faculty of health science at Lethbridge University and research coordinator with the Albertan Gambling Research Institute, says that these forms of gambling education are largely ineffective.

“To be fair, it might help a few people sometimes, but in a group basis, there’s no evidence these things work,” he says. “It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be done, it just means they should be done a lot better.”

Williams argues more substantive education and prevention is needed.

“There are a lot of them out there, but most of them are one hour, one shot deals, which temporarily improve knowledge, but don’t

impact behaviour,” he says.

Only 2 to 3 per cent of Ontario residents gamble online now, but it’s double that in the demographic of college-aged adults. And over 70 per cent of the population gambles in other ways, according to Williams. In colleges and universities, management and kinesiology students are the most likely to develop gambling problems. Williams says the management students’ gambling problems probably have to do with an interest in money, but the kinesiology students have a more complex story.

“Athletes have a much higher gambling involvement and [rate of] problem gambling than other people. A good portion of people in kinesiology are also athletes or aspiring phys-ed teachers,” says Williams.

“There’s something about athleticism that is associated with risk taking. I don’t quite understand it myself.”

The business students might also be interested in poker because, according to Weidl, it is a business.

“It’s the same thing. People in business want to invest in certain places,” he says. “When you play poker, you look to invest in certain spots that you see are profitable.”

Weidl has read over 30 books on poker toeducate himself on the game.

“It’s like a textbook. It’s teaching you what to do in order to make money,” he says. “If you don’t keep your strategy up, luck will eventually run out and you’ll fall behind. There will always be days where you’ll lose.”

Jenkins started playing after Weidl gave him some books to read. Once he started playing online, he began making his own profits. “I think sometimes people would just be ignorant, that there is a mathematical way to play poker or blackjack,” says Jenkins.

“If you go into a casino and are willing to pour all your money into slots, that’s gambling altogether because there’s no skill to that.”

He says that when playing games with any level of skill, you need to take time to develop them. Poker is no different, but also has the added risk of a bad run leaving you penniless.

When he started to play online poker for hours on end, he says he was living with roommates but they never approached him about his addiction.

“They knew I was making money. It would have been different if they knew I was losing a lot of money,” he says.

However, he also says that problem gamblers may not let their friends know about their gambling.

“A lot of people lie about how they’ve done. Even if they lose a lot, they just lie.”

Jenkins says that he drops online gambling during the school year because he takes his grades pretty seriously. During the summers when he does play, he invests up to 12 hours per week to the game depending on how well he does.

“I use the money to pay down my student debt and loans,” he says. “Last summer I made $1,500 over the four months.”

But he acknowledges that not all gamblers share his skill.

“You can become addicted to anything, but I feel like gambling is something you use economically, that’s what makes it a problem.”

According to Williams, the two elements to look out for are impaired control and compulsive involvement.

He says young gamblers lack preparedness. Unlike driving, where teenagers go through a series of graduated licensing, gambling comes with no manual.

Young adults in university or college are also more prone to gambling problems than their peers who didn’t go to post-secondary institutions, according to Williams.

He says his best guess boils down to students hanging out with other students who have high-risk lifestyles in places like student residences.

“Their behaviour seems normative to their peers,” he says. “It also points to the fact that intellectual smarts in its self does not inoculate you from addiction.”

Couperus says she wants the RGC to get information out there so that students can become interested in the topic and start thinking about it.

“There are risks associated with gambling, trying to get some information out there in terms of what the signs are and where they choose to gamble.”For students who have been identified as problem gamblers, Williams says they need ongoing support.

5

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

FEATURES

Layla Bozich // features@thesputnik.ca

Reading up on Laurier’s library

When the itch of literature comes over a man nothing can cure it like the scratch of a pen- Samuel Lover. (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

Layla Bozich Features Editor

You have a major paper due this week. You haven’t started yet, and you have no idea where to even begin.

If you haven’t been in this situation yet as a university student, you will. Luckily, just two streets over from Laurier Brantford’s Research and Academic Building, resides the Brantford Public Library, where students can seek answers to their research questions.

Irene Tencinger, Laurier Brantford’s Reference and Collections Librarian, says people underestimate how much time research can take, and therefore it is natural for us to procrastinate.

“If you don’t know how to start [your project], come see me,” says Tencinger.

Pauline Dewan, a Reference Librarian for Laurier Brantford, also assists students with their research needs. Dewan and Tencinger are soon moving from their Brantford Public Library home to a new office in Grand River Hall.

Tencinger explains that Laurier Brantford provides a collaborative effort between Learning Services, who help students brainstorm for their projects, and the Laurier Brantford librarians, who help the students with research.

The most common problem Tencinger hears from students, is that they have no idea where to start searching for a journal article. She helps solve their problem by asking more about what they are researching, she guides them, identifies helpful databases for them, and helps with search strategies.

“An important part of my job is connecting students with the information they need,” says Tencinger.

Laurier Brantford’s library website (www. library.wlu.ca/brantford) is an intricate and information rich tool for all students to assist in their research.

A variety of search engines allow students to specifically research books, articles, subject and class guides. The website also shares tips regarding quality research, how to find peer reviewed journals and articles, how to pick a

topic for a paper, and how to cite properly. By visiting the Laurier Brantford librarians, students can also learn how to easily navigate the library website and discover how to successfully search for keywords.

“You can explain it, I can explain it, but we need to explain it to the computer,” says Tencinger.

However, while Laurier Brantford’s library currently resides within the Brantford Public Library, the question of when students will receive a library of their own is constantly in the air.

Rebeka Gergens, a second year Concurrent Education student, takes courses at both Laurier Brantford and Nipissing. She says that she has used the library as a place to meet with partners in group projects, as well as a place to check out a children’s book for her lesson plans.

“I have used it as a public library, but not as a university resource,” says Gergens. “Instead of going to the public library, I’d rather use the online database, because there is more selection.”

Universities such as Western, Waterloo, Toronto, and Laurier Waterloo boast large and extensive libraries for students to use for their researching needs. While Laurier Brantford is a relatively new campus, a campus library should be high on the priority list.

“All I can say is that I am optimistic,” says Tencinger.

Tencinger explains, she likes to focus on how the Laurier Brantford library compliments the public library.

“The issue all libraries face is a space issue,” she says. “We are two libraries sharing the same space.”

However, she admits, librarians are very good at working cooperatively with each other.

“Brantford librarians have been very sensitive to what our community needs and what their community needs,” says Tencinger, explaining the relationship between the student population and the rest of Brantford.

Students can receive a free Brantford Public Library card which can be used to access public library

The Rodeo: the untold story Graeme Gordon Editor-in-Chief

For a year and half now, a private swingers club called Club 2250 has been operating at 20 Dalhousie St. at the corner of Brant.

This establishment - better known to students as the Rodeo Bar & Grill - is closed on weekends for the members of Club 2250. The Rodeo (a bar frequented by many Laurier students during the week, especially karaoke Tuesdays) is rented out by the owner of Club 2250, Jerry Van, on Friday and Saturday nights.

Len and Sherry Richter, 68 and 44 respectively, are private music teachers from Hamilton who have been swinging together for over eight years and are members of the Club 2250.

The couple explained that sex does happen on the premises, but in back rooms, away from the bar area.

“There are two mattresses in every room and sometimes you’ll go into a room with another couple. We usually pick one with the curtains, we usually leave the cur-

tains open. Anyone who wants to join us, we’ve had that … and all of the sudden all six of us are going at it,” said Sherry.

Len (also an actor in commercials for Rogers and Ancestry.com) and his third wife since 2007, Sherry, believe that the lifestyle they joined eight years ago has brought them closer together: “The bond is much stronger now than before [swinging],” said Len. He believes that the promiscuity of their relationship is acceptable because they are engaging in polyamory activities together.

Sherry believes that their success towards swinging is through communicating with each other. “Open communication is the key, you have to keep talking.”

Amanda Mitchel, a bartender at the Rodeo, has been working the swingers’ nights for several months.

“They’re all getting naked, giving head and everything else. Right there [in the backrooms],” said Mitchel. “There are rooms in the back with beds.”

Mitchel said that although it took some time, she is “used to it now.” She is also given the option of choosing whether or

materials. The library currently has about 9000 Laurier books, a media collection, and education kits from Nipissing. The library also offers group study rooms which can be reserved at the reference desk. The Information Commons on the third floor, where Tencinger and Dewan are currently located, offers a space for quiet study. The computers on this floor have the appropriate software to view videos from the Laurier Brantford collection.

not to serve in the back room.

“Everyone is really respectful,” said Mitchel Chris Gonzowski, a business professional, moved to Canada from the US in 2008. At the time, he had been married for 23 years.

“My ex-wife now, felt she wasn’t sexy or attractive anymore and our sex life sucked.

So we ended up coming to the clubs and all of the sudden she found out she was pretty damn sexy,” said Gonzowski.

“For a year-and-a-half we had fantastic sex, everything was going great. [Then] she ended up running off with some Scottish guy she met at the club.” Gonzowski is however unbothered by the divorce as he stated that they had been growing apart. Gonzowski has no animosity with the lifestyle and continues to attend Club 2250: “I like the openness, the atmosphere, there’s no jealousy.”

As for the others that attend the club, Mr. Richter says all different walks of life are part of the lifestyle: “All ages [21 and over]… doctors; dentists; lawyers; labourers; maintenance people. From one end of

(Photo by Olivia Rutt)

the scale to the other.”

Sanitation is an obvious concern with a club like this. Jeff Cowal is the Manager of Environmental Health and Emergency Precautions at the Brant County Health Unit.

Cowal has had meetings with Van over the club and has complied with Ontario Food Premises Regulations. “The owner has been great [at following the Health and Protection and Promotion Act],” said Cowal.

“They provide condoms, towels, clean sheets and cleaning services to their members,” said Cowal.

Van said that he has had over 15 000 people go through the club since he first founded the private club over a decade ago. “We haven’t had one fight in all that time,” said Van. “The swingers’ culture is growing,” said Van. Van finds it hypocritical that the majority of people who have had problems with his club are people that have affairs.

“Swingers’ are in a monogamous relationship, they don’t cheat because there are no secrets.”

6

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

ON CAMPUS

Matt Mente // oncampus@thesputnik.ca

O-Week in review Caleb Godin Staff

New people, exciting activities, and some less than sober fun are just some of the many ingredients that go into making a kick-ass O-Week experience. For Laurier Brantford students enjoying their first week on campus, O-Week is a great way meet new people, get acclimated to campus culture, and break the ice.

For me anyway, the biggest new change was sharing a living space with three other guys who became the most important friends I have.

One thing that I remember from O-Week with a lot of disdain was the wake-up calls. This daily horrific, cacophony of cheers, and “wakey-wakeys” only served to annoy and disturb me at ungodly hours of the morning. And who might you ask were the perpetrators of this heinous crime?

The Ice Breakers.

The breakers were crazy as Hell, and literally put their voices and mental sanity on the line for the new students. The support staff, breakers, and executives put their all into making an unforgettable O-Week.

This year’s O-Week had several exciting events that I will be taking a look at.

“The breakers were crazy as Hell, and literally put their voices and mental sanity on the line for the new students.”

Sharks are friends not food! (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

1. The Must-Go-Glow Party The event that gets the students into the club mood is the glow party; an incredibly fun and messy way for students to really let loose. Footloose that is. A night filled with black shirts and paint that glows in the dark makes for a fantastic night. With DJ NVous turning the tables this year, NV was bumping all night for a spectacular light show. The students cheered hard as the Green Gators won the Ice Breaker dance off. The rest of the night consisted of grinding, drinking (for the lucky few of age), and fist pumping.

Down with Webster at the Sanderson Centre. (Photo by Caleb Godin)

NV Glow Party. (Photo by Caleb Godin)

2. Getting down with DWW Possibly the most exciting part of OWeek is the concert. A few bands get together and tour the university circuit for the assorted frosh/orientation weeks. At this year’s concert the bands were amazing. The acts ranged from rap to electronic rock and metal.

First to take the stage was the Tupperware Remix Party, an electronic rock/ metal band hailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia. They wowed the crowd by coming out on the stage with wacky costumes and some serious skills. Shredding not only on guitar, but on the key-tar as well.

Their zany antics on stage kept the crowd cheering for their entire set.

Next on the ballot was Shawn Hook, a B.C. native who stole the hearts of the ladies in the audience with his alternative ballad rock style. He seemed to just get better and better as he played each of his songs, keeping the crowd on their feet

LB Ice Breakers rally the NV crowd. (Photo by Caleb Godin)

and in the mood the entire time he was on stage.

Third on stage was the rap duo Son Real and Rich Kidd. Their high tempo rap lyrics entertained and engaged the audience. Although not my favourite act, they showed extreme dexterity, sometimes rapping for whole minutes with little breaths in between.

And finally, the headliners of the show, Down With Webster. Their high energy set made Laurier scream! The audience screamed when fan favourites like “Rich Girl”, “Your Man”, and “Whoa is Me” were played.

The crowd raved when the drummer Marty played his Mario themed drum solo. My favourite part of the set was during Marty’s solo when he played Rage Against The Machine’s classic hit, “Killing In The Name Of” to much applause from the crowd and myself.

7

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Matt Mente // oncampus@thesputnik.ca

3. An entranced evening

5. Shinerama riases over 12k

Laurier Brantford first years had their minds opened as hypnotist Ryan David showed the crowd and his hapless volunteers just how powerful the art of hypnotism is. Some of his suggestions included a celebrity episode of American Idol judges Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul in tow.

The celebrity guests included a hypnotized Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Katy Perry, and even Ken and Barbie. Another act was for the ladies as he hypnotized the entire male volunteer ensemble as the Chippendale dancers. Other hypnotisms included a petting zoo trip, as well as Canada’s Best Dancers. In fact, David’s show worked so well that people in the audience were becoming hypnotized in their seats and following his suggestions from their chairs.

Unfortunately, this year’s Shinerama was postponed due to inclement weather conditions until September 15. So instead of letting a little rain get in the way of their fun, a movie day was held and through online fundraising they exceeded their goal, and Laurier’s own Gold Lions are in the top ten fundraising teams in all of Canada for Shinerama.

First year student lays hypnotized at the Sanderson Centre . (Photo by Cody Hoffman)

4. Gators chomp cheer-off

LB Gold Lions rank in top 10 Shinerama fundraisers.

(Photo by Olivia Rutt)

Sputnik loves Gatorade! (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

6. Cobras conquer closing ceremonies And finally, the dreaded end of O-Week. This is the culmination of all the team’s hard efforts, the prize at the top of the pedestal, the light at the end of the tunnel. This of course is the announcement of the winning O-Week team. Drumroll, please.

This year’s winners are… The Red Cobras. Congratulations for

going out to every event and cheering yourselves hoarse.

Red cobras prove to be overall favourites in OWeek. (Photo by Olivia Rutt)

8

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A&E

Courtney Langstaff // arts@thesputnik.ca

BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA Alex Zima Staff

(Art by Diane Sison)

Amber Richardson Staff Possibly the only thing that can always be agreed upon by men and women is that there are undeniable differences between the two. From foreplay to pillow talk, men and women view sex differently. This issue is solely dedicated to pinpointing the differences, and debunking crazy claims made by the favorites such as Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health.

Let’s start with the tips that Men’s Health is providing poor men everywhere.

Here’s a list of my favourite true and false claims from their article “50 Hottest Sex Tips All Women Wish You Knew”.

1. “Go canoeing or hiking to spice up your sex life”: False This is great for the outdoorsy type, but my guess is that this wouldn’t make most ladies rip off their clothes and lean against a tree. Adventure is good, but make sure it’s mutually enjoyable.

2. “Bring her close to climax before sex”: False Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Women are able to have multiple orgasms, so you are much better off just finishing the job before you get started. Girls can lose their orgasms as they are happening, so stopping the action right before she’s about to get off doesn’t mean she will pick right back up there once you get into sex. The moment might be totally lost.

4. “Boost her confidence”: True While I agree with this, the approach they took was “a confident sex partner is an adventurous sex partner.” Don’t boost

her self esteem just to get better sex, because chances are, your compliments won’t fool her. Instead, just be genuine and mean everything you say. She will find that sexiest.

There are also many tips for women, graciously provided by Cosmopolitan magazine that I have racked my closest guys’ brains about. While most of their “10 Sex Cravings All Guys Have” seem to be legit, it’s extremely important to realize that not ALL men are the same, even when it comes to something as primal as sex.

5. “He wants nooky out of nowhere”: True This may surprise you (or not) but guys want you to initiate sex sometimes, especially when they are not expecting it. This lets your man know that you are just as in to having sex with him as he is with you.

It also shows that you have a bit of a saucy side, with the confidence to go after what you want. So go ahead and surprise your lover.

As we examine the different tips given to and from men and women, a couple things seem to be apparent about each sex.

Men seem to want women to be more adventurous and confident, and they want women to share some of the responsibility of initiating the act. Women seemingly want men to greater attempt understanding their bodies, as well as the non-physical needs we have. It’s no secret that confidence has creped in to almost every tip, so ladies: own it. If you’ve got him in bed, there’s not much you can do to scare him off... And gents: make your lady feel like she’s the sexiest one alive and you’ll likely be closer to getting the sex you want.

K-Stew shines in T.O. following scandal

Hello and welcome to another exciting and fun packed edition of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, the revolutionary new column where you, the readers, get to read what I, the writer, wrote. This edition’s exciting theme is movies and television of past, future, and present, making it a massive departure from our regular theme of the exact same thing. So strap in, get comfortable, and enjoy the ride of your life - if your life is very dull, mostly lived bricked in an abandoned church basement with nothing but a torn terrycloth teddy bear soaked in tears and dankness, and occasional shuffling of tires on concrete from an outside world you’ll never know to keep you company.

Long Forgotten The Late Shift (1996): What can one say about Jay Leno? Well, he’s a big chinned no- talent prick who seems to wallow in his own filth with joy at the thought of ruining other people’s lives, completely devoid of emotion or compassion. He is a sick, sad, lonely man who torments the people around him with a psychotic smile on his face, long dead on the inside, just waiting for time to rot his body away. “The Late Shift” is an amazing HBO film that seems to agree with my opinion. The film is a dramatic and comedic reenactment of the 1993 Tonight Show scandal, where Leno weaseled David Letterman out of a job using dirty tactics, as he would do again to Conan O’Brien in 2010. The film is well acted, well made and is a stern reminded that Leno has always, ALWAYS, been a prick.

Present Louie season 3 (2012): FX brings us one of the greatest shows ever written. Comedian Louis CK brings on the laughs with not quite a comedy show, but rather a collection of independent films based around his life in New York City, coping with a horrible career, discomforting family and what seems to be a perpetual existential crisis. From the very beginning of this season, it’s become clear that Louis CK finally figured out the direction he wanted to take the show, where as in previous seasons it seemed rather muddled and random. The whole project is done on a budget of 200,000 dollars per episode, for

the entire production, which is basically less then nothing, giving it a unique feel and atmosphere. This one is worth watching religiously, it’s a show that doesn’t get boring, as every episode is completely unique and different from the previous one. Louis CK has even made it a point not to feature any characters other then his own and his daughters in more then 3 episodes. Unique, mind blowing and fun.

Wilfred season 2 (2012): FX, again, this time right before Louie on Thursday nights. Wilfred follows the story of a man and a dog. The dog talks the man into doing horrible things, such as stealing marijuana for it, robbing a vet, and generally sends the man in question in decline. Did I mention the man in question is Elijah Wood? (Yeah, that hobbit kid) Anyways, the series has reached critical mass, where its initial appeal and shock value of a man smoking dope with a dog has warn off, so the writers cleverly wrote in a new and exciting formula. Who is Wilfred? After a long time of allowing Wilfred to talk him into uncomfortable situations, Elijah Wood grows paranoid and demands answers, yet Wilfred at the same time predicts doom. Fewer laughs this season, but a freaky discomforting string of foreshadowing leading the viewer to anticipate a major climax keeps it an enjoyable show.

Future Peep Show series 8 (2012): Channel 4’s groundbreaking raunchy comedy is back for its eighth season this fall after a two year hiatus. Join Mark, an OCD, sexually repressed, socially awkward, and generally mentally unwell man, and his roommate Jez, an egomaniacal wannabe musician with a drug habit, as they embark on a journey to basically suffer through every experience life throws at them. Watch Super Hans, their friend and companion, beat Jez with a 2 by 4 after smoking crack, as was the season finale in 2010. Words cannot really describe this show, because it is a cringe comedy, where context is really the highlight.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this edition of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, the only regular column in the world with that title. See you next time, where our very Halloween inspired theme is Halloween.

Courtney Langstaff A & E Editor Kristen Stewart strutted her stuff at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) this past week, in her first appearance following her traffic-stopping public apology for cheating on Robert Pattinson.

This past July will forever live in infamy for Twilight fans worldwide as the picture perfect relationship between Edward and Bella (Pattinson and Stewart) came to a shattering halt. For those not bitten by the Twilight bug, last month Kristin Stewart, 22, made a public apology for getting caught cheating on R-Patz with her married “Snow White and the Huntsman” director Rupert Saunders, 41. The scandal broke when pictures surfaced of her and Saunders being unusually close, exchanging more-than-friendly kisses and hugs back in mid-July of this year.

Kristin Stewart was in town supporting

her new film “On the Road” directed by Jack Kerouac. K-Stew walked the red carpet at the Ryerson Theatre on Thursday night with co-stars Garrett Hedlund and Kirsten Dunst. Her arrival has been one of the biggest scenes to occur in the festival’s history.

When news broke out that she would be attending the festival, paparazzi in both Toronto and Los Angles, and their airports, exploded exponentially. Despite looking gloomy in a pair of jeans and T-shirt upon, and following her arrival, she did not let her feelings affect her job, for she literally sparkled on the red carpet in an extra tight Zuhair Murad sequined dress.

As expected, there were a few intense ‘Twi-hards” and Edward Cullen fans who blasted out against Stewart with harsh obscenities in reaction to the cheating scandal. But for the most part, there was 99.9%

love for the Twilight star, as over 500 fans waited hours to get even the tiniest glimpse of her.

While heart broken, K-Stew didn’t let it get the best of her as she tried to sign as many autographs and taking as many pictures as she possibly could have at the Ryerson Theatre that night. In fact, in over several attempts for paparazzi to get the latest scoop on the cheating scandal, Stewart failed to answer or comment on the situation at all. The night was strictly about her latest film and her fans. At the end of the day, she makes it clear that despite the disappointment she has caused them, she still deeply cares for and loves her dedicated fans.

Kristen Stewart at TIFF 2012 (Photofrom Wikimedia)

9

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Q&A with Down With Webster Caleb Godin Staff

ME: How does it feel coming to a school and playing for students?

Cam: Well, it’s amazing. I remember going to school. I went to Mac for a year, and I remember going to watch bands play and being like, that’s awesome. And now I’m here.

ME: Do you still feel nervous when you play?

Cam: I get nervous when I haven’t done it in a while; we were in LA working on a new record.

We hadn’t played a show in a couple months and we came back and played a show and that night I was super nervous. I needed to piss like forty times.

ME: Did you guys all go to school for a certain amount of time? Or did you realize this was it for you?

Cam: Yeah, I dropped out after like two years.

It wasn’t even that it hadn’t even taken off or anything yet, I just wasn’t having any fun and it wasn’t working for me, so all I was doing was trying to make sounds in my dorm room until I was like, screw this I might as well try to do this for real.

ME: What goes into making a song for you guys? Is it experience?

Cam: It differs; no two songs are the same.

Some are experience based and some are just you start writing and it comes out. Not too many of our songs are just random character stuff.

Me: What do you say to people who want to do what you are doing now?

Cam: You just have to keep trying. It’s not going to happen in a period of six months. I mean, for us it took like ten years?

Marty: It’s also at the point of how serious you take it and how much time you put into it. For the people that want to do this I’d say get a fucking back-up plan.

Me: What would your back up plan be if all of a sudden people stopped listening to your music?

Marty: I kind of fucked-up and stopped going to school after two and a half years. Probably should have finished that, just to say I did something. But if for some reason this stopped I would still be doing something music-wise.

Cam: See I don’t like that attitude. I have the attitude of if you want to make it happen, you are

Down With Webster concert during O Week (Photo by Caleb Godin)

trying to then it will happen. Cause we always had that attitude of its going to happen no matter what.

Diggy: We kind of all just put all our eggs in one basket and believed in it and went for it.

Cam: I think that’s why it worked, if you believe it you just keep going until it works. I remember when you guys were 17 and it was like next year is the big year, then you’re 20 and it’s this year is the big year.

Me: So what is it like now? Now that you’re not in high school, you’re not in the garage you are playing for millions of people?

Cam: I think it’s just more stressful. You can’t

be as much of a gong show as you could be. There was a time where I could do anything and its part of growing up and it’s your job and you have to be a professional at it, you have to try and be good at your job.

Me: How is it for you to be in a more rock oriented band?

Diggy: I think there are a lot of hip-hop elements, a lot of rock elements, funk elements. I think we’re kind of hard to define but I wouldn’t say we’re specifically a rock band.

Me: So what did it take for you to get here?

Cam: It’s weird when you look back on it, you can see it, as you sacrificed a lot but when we were

doing it, we wanted to do it, so it wasn’t really a sacrifice. I guess when you look back, isn’t going to school a sacrifice? Is being poor throughout your teens and early twenties a sacrifice? Is not seeing your family all the time a sacrifice? I guess you could say that. But that’s if you want to go to school and see your family all the time. But that freaked me out; I didn’t want to have that kind of a stable life. What excited me was music, and the road, and the idea of being in a new place every day, and getting to live what we always dreamed about. So I wouldn’t say it’s a sacrifice and if you view it as a sacrifice I would say you’re in the wrong business.

10

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

SPORTS

Kyle Morrison // sports@thesputnik.ca

Young Golden Hawks football team struggles against Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kyle Morrison Sports Editor

After a disappointing 19-0 loss at the hands of the University of Toronto to start the season on Sept. 3, things got worse after the Golden Hawks lost their home opener on Saturday night against Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s University 42-16.

Their youth certainly showed as the team committed 13 penalties for a total of 85 yards. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bottom line is our youth,â&#x20AC;?

Head Coach Gary Jeffries said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We played a veteran Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s team that is one of the best in the country, but we played our guts out for 26 or 27 minutes.â&#x20AC;?

Penalties aside, Laurier couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t match Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offensive attack. Although Laurier moved the ball well, with the amount of first downs being close between the two teams, the Gaels threw for 200 more yards than the Golden Hawks could muster. Rookie quarterback Tyler Egan struggled for the second straight game throwing the ball, throwing two interceptions and one touchdown, completing only 43 per cent of his 21 passes. In his game against U of T, he threw for only 122 yards and completed 30 per cent of his 27 passes. Coach Jeffries isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too concerned this early in the season, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s [Eman] playing like weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d expect a 19year old to play out there. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made some plays, but my biggest concern is his lack of protection in the pocket.â&#x20AC;?

Eman has been sacked four times through the first two games, but it could be much worse if it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t for his ability to run which is the biggest bright spot so far. He has rushed for 83 yards, 62 of which were against U of T. However, this is not how Jeffries

wants Eman to be manufacturing offense, â&#x20AC;&#x153;[We] donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like him to scramble that much. He needs to be in the pocket more.â&#x20AC;? In a three-down league like CIS football is, the passing game is much more important than the run game, although it is great to know that a quarterback can run when he needs to.

Digging themselves such a large hole at 0-2 to start the season in the tough OUA West Division, Coach Jeffriesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; message to his team going into next Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s game against York is simple: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Game three is a playoff game. We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lose to York.â&#x20AC;?

Jeffries has a lot of respect for the Lions (1-1). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not the York of old; theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a strong team. The score doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t show how close their game against Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s was, but they put up 300 yards in that game,â&#x20AC;? York is also coming off a huge come-from-behind victory at home against Ottawa, 4736. This should give the Lions a ton of momentum when they step foot on Knight-Newbrough Field on Sept. 15.

The Golden Hawks will need a clean game of football if they want to have a chance on the gridiron against York.

Otherwise, the team is going to continue their slide in the wrong direction. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We spent a lot of time on team stuff last week, so now we need to just cleanup our mistakes. Go back to fundamentals,â&#x20AC;? said Jeffries This vision is clear and has been laid out since day one, but when Laurier will successfully execute is yet to be seen.

Golden Hawks lose their home opener against Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s . (Photo by Kate Turner, The Cord)

Laurier gets tackled. (Kate Turner, The Cord)

Laurier Hawks come up short against Ontario Blue Jays Anthony Fusco Staff

On Thursday, September 6, the Wilfrid Laurier menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s baseball team played the Ontario Blue Jays in a friendly exhibition match at Arnold Anderson Stadium in Brantford. A large number of Laurier fans showed up, many of them first year students here for O-Week.

The game started off with the Blue Jays using their superior hitting to get on base. The Laurier squad didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have their pitching or their throws on par in the first inning and consequently themselves a hole. Before the first inning had ended, the Blue Jays scored their first run.

The second inning was much the same, as the Golden Hawks needed better hitting. They managed to get a few players on base, but they couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t manage to bring them home to score. The score remained at 1-0.

The top of the third inning brought more misery for the Laurier team and their fans, as the Blue Jays drove in two runs to increase their lead to 3-0.

The top of the fourth finally gave the fans something to cheer about as a Laurier outfielder made a diving catch that saved two Blue Jay runs from scoring.

The catch energized the crowd, and kept the score at 3-0.

Laurier had a solid chance in the top of the fifth, as a Blue Jay error sent a player to third base. But just as quickly, the Blue Jays scored another run, to take the Laurier momentum out of the equation.

In the bottom of the sixth, the Hawks gave their fans a reason to cheer, as a dropped ball by a Blue Jays player allowed Laurier to take advantage and drive home their first run of the game.

However, the Golden Hawks could never quite catch up, losing the game by a score of Blue Jays 7, Laurier 4. Coach Dennis Schooley is not too concerned, though and has a positive outlook for the 2012 season. When asked how he thinks his team will do this season he said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very simple. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re here to do the very best we can, and ultimately win the championship. We have a good squad this year, and were ready to go out and prove we can win.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had a good game today. Obviously no team wants to lose, but if we want to change this for next time, our hitting needs to be better. We played a good team and it was a very close game.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m happy with what I saw and we can definitely translate this into some wins later,â&#x20AC;? said Schooley. But there is room for improvement Coach Schooley said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We had a few errors we could work on.

Made some sloppy throws. We hit pretty well today, but we had some bad luck.â&#x20AC;?

The coach also had one final message for the Laurier fans, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Follow us this year.

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to have a great year and the more support the better!â&#x20AC;?

Laurier Hawks at OWeek. (Photo by Caleb Godin)

1SFHOBOU /FFE )FMQ

"MM 4FSWJDFT GSFF BOE DPOĂŤEFOUJBM 'SFF QSFHOBODZ UFTUT 5PMM 'SFF

11

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Lady Hawks continue their soccer dominance Kyle Morrison Sports Editor

After a 12-2 season in 2011, the Golden Hawks’ women’s soccer team has continued their winning ways in 2012, punctuated by a 7-0 win against Brock on Sept.

5. Entering play on Sept. 9 against their cross-town rivals, Waterloo, the Golden Hawks have two wins and a draw which is good enough to earn them a spot as the seventh highest ranked squad in the CIS (Canadian Interuniversity Sport).

This is a spot that is certainly well deserved following such a convincing home win. The onslaught began in the seventh minute when Emily Brown found the back of the net, which she followed up five minutes later, to put Brock in a very early 2-0 hole.

Brown, a forward from Waterloo, has burst on the scene for Laurier, showing she’s a natural-born scorer. In her incredible rookie season in 2011-12, she scored nine goals in 14 games, four of which were game winners. These impressive stats helped her achieve numerous awards. She won 2011 CIS Academic AllCanadian, 2011 OUA (Ontario University Athletics) Women’s Soccer West Rookie of the Year, 2011/2012 Rich Newbrough Rookie of the Year Award and 2011/2012 Laurier Team Rookie of the Year.

And with her two goals on Wednesday, she has tallied four in two games played. Not to be outdone, Krista Celluci scored two goals of her own – her first two of the season – at twenty-five and thirty-nine minutes in. Celluci is another player whose scoring will be greatly leaned upon this season. The fourth year from Mississauga, Ontario was an OUA Women’s Soccer First Team All-Star at the forward position last season, finishing second in the OUA in goals with ten.

Along with Julie Maheu’s goal in the 14th minute and Shelby Fallis’ goal to close out the first half, the six goal cushion was more than enough to bring home the win.

In Waterloo, the Golden Hawks will be facing a team on a downslide, losing their first three games of the season. The Warriors have never been a particularly good women’s soccer squad, but no team

Golden Hawk’s women’s soccer (Photo courtesy of Laurier Athletics)

should be taken lightly. It is the games that a team is expected to win that are the most important, as when it comes down to the final records of the season, that one upset loss may be the difference between home field advantage in the OUA playoffs or not for a great team like Laurier.

With such a potent offensive attack and solid defense like the women’s soccer team has, they should once again be a force to be reckoned with. The women will be poised to return to the OUA playoffs and build upon last year’s birth in the CIS quarter-final.

Tyred uf findinng mistaykes in The Sputnik?

Do something about it.

Student Publications is hiring.

For more info go to www.wlusp.com/volunteer

12

The Sputnik // Wednesday, September 12, 2012

OPINION

Leisha Senko // opinion@thesputnik.ca

Not as dumb as we look Leisha Senko Opinion Editor I am a rabid, codependent, near clinically obsessed fan of NBC’s Community. I find myself spontaneously singing Troy and Abed in the morning, lamenting when someone “Britta”s things, and I’ve been known to compliment friends, by informing them, they’re streets ahead. This may be all well and good, but why, you must be wondering, am I divulging these odd, and at least slightly embarrassing personal details, to you, the reader? Wading into the opinion section, where you’re sure to find indulgent, neurotics, such as myself, it seems you’re asking the wrong question. Rather, what’s most curious is why I haven’t tried to impress this topic on you much earlier? We attend a small, satellite campus, after all, fitting the show’s backdrop perfectly. With Greendale’s reputation of questionable academic qualifications, kooky campus politics, and a real lack of legitimate extra curricula’s, the snarky, satirical analysis practically writes itself. A simple refutation however has stood in the way; it’s a comparison that’s always felt too cheap, a lazy foil to haphazardly paint Laurier Brantford with. Undoubtedly, you’ve already measured the similarities, disregarded the hyperbole, and moved on.

For this, my apologies, yet I must contest, it has better to offer. When creator Dan Harmon began the show, it was never intended as a highbrow snub at non-ivy leaguers, but was always centrally about its own namesake, a sense of community.

This may seem far-fetched, since sarcastic, disgraced lawyer Jeff Winger, is for all intents and purposes, the main character. Sure, on the surface he delivers edgy plot driving repertoire, and fills out the third act with monologue, but deep down, his stiff inability to open up, is shown as unattractive emotional baggage rather than a mysterious, sexy, je ne sais quoi, as it normally is on television. Unlike the Harvey Specters, Patrick Jane’s, and even, Walter White’s of our entertainment universe, Jeff’s dark, and devilish banter, leaves you with the sinking feeling, at his most smug, he’s more style than substance.

What’s even worse than this realization however, is finding that as young people, we’re programmed initially to relate to him. Greendale really is for rejects, we say, wrapped in a cloak of pompous denial, each episode tugging apart the stitches a bit more, until we’re utterly naked. Much like Jeff’s personal trajectory, we’re meant to walk into the room feeling superior, and leave reevaluating what a jaded, flippant attitude really gets you. In fact, it’s the characters that aren’t afraid to look stupid, or vulnerable, or ridiculous, who have the most fun, and lead the most fulfilling lives. Troy and Abed’s peculiar, brotherly friendship, which included building a campus wide blanket fort, a dreamatorium for role-play, and a super sweet handshake, are mocked by Jeff openly, but secretly envied.

In the alternate timeline episode, the only point where everyone comes together and enjoys themselves, is when Jeff steps out of the picture. Letting go of his big, useless apartment, law friends who constantly compete, and solemn indifference to others, however slowly, markedly improves

Jeff’s quality of life, which is apparent to viewers. In fact, it’s only when Winger gives in, and begins to connect with the people around him, and more specifically Greendale, that he finally realizes what’s been missing.

This, in a nutshell, is really what’s so fascinating about Community. Economic, social, even emotional losers aren’t normally treated nicely on TV, where winning and suave posturing is deemed of ultimate import. Who gets the girl, who lands the big job, who’s the most popular? These are all questions that become non-sequiturs in the Greendale universe. Legitimate friendships and real connections, things taken for granted, or thought fundamentally silly, become the fodder for a truly moving search for ones place in the world, amongst other people just as diverse and broken as yourself; an incredibly familiar sentiment. Instead of acting as a hobbled 20 minute comedy, slapped together solely for laughs, this is Harmon’s magnum opus, asking us the question he’s admittedly toyed with all his life, how does one simply stop living life for the imagined audience in your head, and just open up?

In today’s world, where these provocative questions aren’t asked often, or early enough, it becomes quite obvious why attending Laurier Brantford can feel like a heavy cross to bear. Doing things the right way according to society, is stressed, and choosing an intimate, community feel, over a big campus circus, just isn’t encouraged. Unfortunately, the right way seems to be filled with hollow, superficial indicators. Apathy, cruel sarcasm and a pervasive narcissism have a strange hold on our generation, in ways we don’t care to acknowledge. So, when someone does acknowledges Laurier Brantford as a warm or positive place, many have a hard time wrapping their minds around the idea. A valuation of the intangible -kindness, generosity, community- is almost always skipped right over, and truly there in lies the greatest tragedy.

This, in particular, is why I’ve found it impossible to depersonalize this subject, to approach it from a third party perspective. I, like so many, walked onto this campus, much the same as Jeff did, with a severely dubious disposition and a chip on my shoulder. I don’t say this with any kind of pride. So, while society tells young people that successful lives are destined to play out one way, in big dorms, with important degrees, and flashy friends, it can become disorienting for the lot of us who don’t see this happen, making us cold towards the simpler pleasures that are all around, until someone or something has the good sense to remind us. Our friends, our values, and our ability to enjoy life, are things that comprise, arguably, the most important pieces of ourselves, and play a staring role on small campuses like Laurier. Community, instead of poking fun at the patsies who attend tiny Greendale, allows you to fall in love with the people, and the environment they’re in.

The writers, Instead of taking the easy road, by playing on our collective penchant for smug indifference, incorporate a kindness and simple beauty that runs throughout. It’s taken me a very long time, but finally I can see that, both within the show, and here at Laurier Brantford.

The Mouthpiece

Throwing the bus under the bus Alex Zima Guest writer

As a man who has never bothered to learn how to drive, I have been a strong supporter of public transit, and a frequent user. Back in Kitchener, I had a close relationship with the transit system, knowing some drivers by name. The seven line bus driver would even honk his horn and flip me off every time he saw me in the street, as a friendly gesture. Before that I lived at Jane and Finch, a part of Toronto so isolated from the rest of it, living without transit is nearly impossible. Buses, taxis, trains, are all fantastically punctual and horrifically crammed.

When I moved to Brantford, the least of my concerns was getting around. I moved to the very downtown core, living above a deli, where I frequently eat. The convenience store is just across the street, and the grocery store is a five minute walk away. Recently however, I have on several occasions had to go to Wal-Mart on the mall link 4 line, and inevitably had to start using the Brantford Public Transit system – from now on I am sticking to cabs.

The customer service is beyond incompetent – it is intentionally cruel to passengers. The bus drivers will scan cards into their data bases, and look over transfers like they’re looking for religious signs in them, holding up people at the stops unnecessarily long. The bus drivers frequently yell at passengers, for instance, just the other day a woman boarded the bus after running to the stop, and the bus driver chastised her once she got on for being late and holding the bus up. This bus driver was not in a bad mood, or rather, the bus drivers in this city don’t have such a thing as moods, but rather they have a mode. A friend of mine who has lived in this city for over 20 years described this mode as less than pleasant, but I just call it “crabby.” Also on the subject of customer service, if your Laurier card wasn’t printed in this city, which for a lot of students is the case, don’t even bother getting on the bus because you will be chastised, and will be allowed on about half the time. If you are a summer student, similarly, don’t bother getting on the bus, you will be allowed on zero per cent of the time.

It is important to note that the buses are very clean, and even on the busiest days of the season, there are enough seats for everyone. This is not because of a particularly cleanly and good natured staff. Rather this is an extension of the first point, the customer service. You see, unlike in most cities where buses are taken freely and regularly, in Brantford taking the bus is the last case scenario. So disgusted is the customer with Brantford Transit, that they would rather take a cab and pay outrageous money then even think about getting on the bus.

Since so few people are willing to take the bus, few people are on the bus. Fewer people means less garbage – so there’s your space and cleanliness – a lucky side effect of incompetence.

So take cabs. They’re a nice private industry; the drivers are courteous, kind, and efficient. Yes, transit still gets your tuition money, but they don’t have to get your business. You see, they have to keep track of how many students take the bus in order to negotiate how much to take from the students, and when that number nears zero, they will only be able to bargain for what they deserve – the end of their relationship with Laurier Brantford.

Want to share your rant?

Email eic@thesputnik.ca with your 300 word rant to write for The Mouthpeice!

Think you might party too much to remember the good times? Pre-order your yearbook today. www.wlusp.com