An Authoritative List

She let me hit it because I’m goofy… She let you hit it because you followed my authoritative list.

1. She’s wonking on my willy ‘til I chocolate factory

2.She’s doofen on my shmirtz ‘til I incorporate her evil

3. She’s robbing on my barts ‘til I comm

4. She’s cranning on my berry ‘til I juice

5. She’s strogano my beef… ‘til I cum I guess

6. She’s Mcing on my Donalds ‘til I’m loving it

7. She’s ghetti on my meatballs ‘til I spa

8. She’s macking on my damia ‘til I nut

9. She’s lling my chick ‘til I llet

10. She’s Wiarton on my willy ‘til I have an early spring

11. She’s inn on my tu ‘til I wapo

12. She’s VUing on my SAC ‘til I caucus

13. She’s Vicing on my college ‘til I confess to catch a bus in its natural habitat, you must stay alert and aware. these are ckle, erratic beasts, ostensibly diurnal, occasionally nocturnal, their migration patterns known to be predictably unpredictable. despite their size, they are relatively docile creatures—a disposition which has led to the slow erosion of their position in the food chain. competition is erce. you will realise this if you have the misfortune to seek them out on a rain-soaked day, their presence deterred by the deluge of their smaller, more abundant counterpart, the car, leaving you devastatingly drenched in your pursuit. after all, the paved desert's parched inhabitants need their ll to survive, and the common car is prone to aggression. within their dedicated lane, the bus can outmanoeuvre even the most persistent of cars, but the station you are at is a small, square, slab of concrete, unceremoniously carved out as an afterthought. the bus stands no chance in this hostile environment. it is an hour delayed, and the rain continues. maybe you should've stayed home instead.