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FREE EVERY THURSDAY VOL. 18, NO. 43 JULY 9–15, 2009 WWW.CONSERVATIVES4PALIN.COM

HEALTH-CARE

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WHY WON’T

MARIA CANTWELL L E A D? P. 11

WORSHIPPING ALYCIA DELMORE SINCE LAST MONTH.

SNOWBALL’S-CHANCE-IN-HELL-O-METER

DOMINIC HOLDEN ON THE EIGHT PEOPLE FIGHTING TO BE YOUR NEXT MAYOR P. 15

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TOWN HALL HIGHLIGHTS 7/9-7/22

Friday, 7/10 at 7:30 pm

Hedgebrook: Gloria Steinem

How do women author change? What woman writer altered your reality? Join iconoclast Gloria Steinem, with special guest Holly Near and a panel of powerhouse Hedgebrook alumnae for a provocative discussion exploring how women’s voices have shaped our culture across generations.

Saturday, 7/11 at 7:30 pm

‘Sisters Singing’

In celebration of the new anthology Sisters Singing, women singers and poets will present an evening of sacred music, prose, and poetry including: Jami Sieber, Alysia Tromblay, Coleen Renee, Carolyn Brigit Flynn, Katherine Metcalfe Nelson, Anne Mize, Sonya Lea, Beth Coyote, June BlueSpruce, Pesha Gertler, and Carolyn Davis Rudolph.

Wednesday, 7/15 at 7 pm

Brown, MIT, and Yale Information Session

At this session for high-school students and their parents, representatives from Brown, MIT, and Yale offer information about their institutions, admissions, and financial processes.

Wednesday, 7/22 at 7:30 pm

Chris Hedges:The End of Literacy Hedges, author of Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle, exposes the mechanisms used to divert us from confronting the economic, political, and moral collapse around us, and chronicles the terrifying spiral of a dying culture.

A three-hour whirlwind of cirque, comedy and cabaret served with a five-course feast designed by Tom Douglas.

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THINKING ABOUT BUYING A

A. BIRCH STEEN

Stranger Public Editor and OSHA Board of Governors Member (Retired)

W

hen I learned through the usual back channels (thank you, D.S.—your stealth, quiet discretion, and indeterminate initials will, as always, be rewarded via courier) that this week’s issue was to contain something called the “Snowball’s-Chance-in-Hell-O-Meter,” I naturally assumed it would be yet another exercise in omphaloskepticism. Go ahead, dear reader, look it up in one of the Googles. If that searchable combustion engine has any horsepower, it will take you straight to the archival materials of this self-obsessed rag, whose brand of narcissistic storytelling defines the word rather nicely. In any case, imagine my surprise when I was delivered an advance draft (again, my thanks to D.S.) that was not engaged in rating, by some childish metric, the chances that Mr. Mudede would show up to work sober this week, the odds that Mr. Spangenthal-Lee would ever take off his pretend policeman’s badge, or the likelihood that Mr. Kiley would firm up his wrists. Instead, this charticle attempts to be of assistance to the citizens of this fair city by rating the chances of various contenders in the race for municipal executive.

I say “attempts,” for it is written by DOMINIC HOLDEN, who appears to have been elevated far above his level of competence since the blessed departure of Erica C. Barnett (for what sounds like a cracking-fun quarterly publication that covers the ins and outs of the soft-drink industry). In his regrettable attempt at political analysis, Mr. Holden not only denigrates the chances of Jan Drago—a highly effective public servant and, even more impressive, the only distaff competitor ever to win the annual triathlon I host at the estate in Sequim (Scotch, croquet,

and skeet, if you must know, but do not set about practicing: You’re not invited)—he also plagiarizes that “blah blah blah” line from one of my recent columns. Son, when you are stealing from A. Birch Steen to try to impress the kids, it is obviously far past time to take early retirement.

Meanwhile, in other travesties of journalism, MEGAN SELING uses a computer to discover the existence of a neighborhood called “West Seattle.” Of course, because Ms. Seling, like every other faux journalist at this catalog of shame, does not earn enough money to own even the most run-down of jalopies (in fact, due to her ferocious and unchecked drug habits, Ms. Seling probably lacks the funds to even—shudder—hire a taxicab), she has no method by which to actually get to West Seattle. This is probably for the best: Ms. Seling and her vulgar rock-and-roll-loving ilk would only sully the last great neighborhood in our fair city—the Cradle of Seattle, where our founding fathers commenced the civilization of the entire region.

After scouring the depths of Ms. Seling’s filthy imagination and finding nothing of value there, we return to the so-called chow section, where Mr. Holden makes an unwelcome reappearance to discuss vans from which decent citizens are expected to purchase meats at discount prices. I can assure you that my good friend Ms. Drago, when she becomes mayor, will put a stop to this unsavory practice immediately. ■

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Dan Savage EDITOR Christopher Frizzelle ART DIRECTOR Aaron Huffman

NO, YOU SHUT UP ................. 6 LAST DAYS ........................... 9 CITY .................................. 11 FEATURE ........................... 15 STRANGER SUGGESTS ....... 17 THEATER ........................... 19 BOOKS ............................... 22 VISUAL ART ....................... 24 CHOW ............................... 26 MUSIC ............................... 31 FILM .................................. 59 CLASSIFIEDS ...................... 66 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ..... 68 DEAR SCIENCE .................. 68 SAVAGE LOVE .................... 71

Editorial MANAGING EDITOR Bethany Jean Clement NEWS EDITOR Herman Melville ASSOCIATE EDITORS David Schmader, Charles Mudede ARTS EDITOR Brendan Kiley FILM EDITOR Lindy West MUSIC EDITOR Eric Grandy LINE OUT EDITOR Megan Seling VISUAL ART EDITOR Jen Graves BOOKS EDITOR Paul Constant SENIOR STAFF WRITER Eli Sanders STAFF WRITERS Dominic Holden, Dave Segal, Jonah Spangenthal-Lee STAFF PORNOGRAPHER Kelly O COPY CHIEF Gillian Anderson COPY EDITOR Jesse Vernon COLUMNISTS Casey Catherwood, Christopher DeLaurenti, Jonathan Golob, Wm.™ Steven Humphrey, Marti Jonjak, Mistress Matisse, Michaelangelo Matos, Larry Mizell Jr., Kelly O INTERNS Alexander P. Brown, Jackie Canchola, Lucas Draper, Sarah Galvin, Chris Govella, Alex Hagenah, Corey Kahler, Quinn Lewington, Bonnie Mattson, Aaron Moncivaiz, Victor Ng

Art & Production PRODUCTION MANAGER Erica Tarrant EDITORIAL DESIGNERS Ananda La Vita, Madeline Macomber, Mary Traverse SENIOR AD DESIGNER Mary Traverse AD DESIGNERS Shena Lee, Dawn Schaefer, Joel Schomberg

Advertising DIRECTOR OF SALES AND MARKETING Marty Griswold SALES ADMINISTRATOR / ONLINE ADVERTISING MANAGER Sarah Cortés SENIOR REGIONAL ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Ben Demar MUSIC REGIONAL ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Erin Hardy SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE/THEATER Juliette Brush Hoover

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE/CLUB Shannon Ostendorf ENTERTAINMENT ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Cheree Best DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Katie Phoenix, Tiffany Vergara CLASSIFIEDS ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Bobby Anderson, Heather Hansen NATIONAL ADVERTISING The Ruxton Group (888)2RUXTON/ New York, Detroit, Chicago, Phoenix, San Francisco, Los Angeles SALES INTERN Olivia Giannelli

Promotions READER INTERACTIVE DIRECTOR Nancy Hartunian PROMOTIONS DIRECTOR Caroline Dodge LOVELAB/LUSTLAB MANAGER Audrey Klammer

Business GENERAL MANAGER Laurie Saito C.F.O. Rob Crocker REGIONAL AR MANAGER Tracey Cataldo BOOKKEEPER Renee Krulich RECEPTIONIST Mike Nipper OFFICE MANAGER Jill Guidi

Comment on Public Editor at thestranger.com and follow A. Birch Steen on Twitter at www.twitter.com/strangerslog

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Circulation CIRCULATION MANAGER Kevin Shurtluff CIRCULATION ASSISTANT Penny Graves PUBLISHER Tim Keck

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Torn from the electronic pages of thestranger.com

Carr Wars An Argument About the Candidates for City Attorney Last week in “The Beginning of the End for the intersections.” Yeah, well, I got a cam-ticket City Attorney,” Dominic Holden reported that at 23rd and E. John for a free right turn, as incumbent City Attorney Tom Carr has consis- did my next-door neighbor. Now I’ve lived in tently prioritized low-level cases, including ag- the CD for 40 years and I have a lot of drivgressively prosecuting pot smokers and fight- ing experience... So screw Tom Carr and his ing a Seattle Center balloon-animal-maker money-grabbing ticket-cams.

Comment by charterreader: One problem all the way to federal court. Carr’s campaign manager, Cindi Laws, says that challenger Pe- that City Attorney Candidate Peter Holmes faces is that he may not ter Holmes isn’t qualified meet the requirements and that his “only purpose “This isn’t even under the City Charter in life is squeezing that last drop of blood out of pounding the table— for the position of City Attorney. Section XIII a business.” From online it’s specious, unfactual, of the Charter requires comments: and malicious charac- the City Attorney to have practiced law for the four Comment by Gidge: ter assassination.” years prior to his or her I’m not 100% sold on election. Holmes was reHolmes, but I think that Cindi Laws really misses the mark on her portedly inactive for a period of time during critique of him. It sounds like she’s trying the past four years. While a lawyer is on inacto make him sound evil, just because he was tive status, the lawyer cannot practice law.

Comment by bikechick: Not an issue a bankruptcy lawyer, which is silly. Perhaps a more persuasive question would be to ask and a straw man. Gotta get some new talking whether he is knowledgeable enough about points!

Comment by charterreader: Why isn’t the issues and types of law the City Attorney deals with. Of course, I don’t think that Carr it an issue? How can someone who could not really had a lot of relevant experience prior to legally practice law during the last four years qualify under the City Charter? Please extaking office, either.

Comment by luckylu: I supported Tom plain?

Comment by bikechick: Pete has been Carr, but Carr has been in the papers arguing the case for traffic cams that will “stop red- fully authorized and licensed to practice law light runners and speeders and thereby calm since his Washington State admission in 1986.

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It’s not an issue because you are factually incorrect. Thanks.

Comment by charterreader: Sorry, bikechick, but you’re factually incorrect. Peter Holmes was on inactive status during the last four years and could not practice law during that time. You can look it up.

Comment by bikechick: I did look it up.

However, since you are the one making the assertion, please do offer your evidence. As a matter of fact, I challenge you to file the appropriate documentation and raise a legal challenge. That would be the appropriate thing to do. Barring facts, evidence, or a legal challenge: This is just nasty politics. Holmes is a practicing attorney in the state of Washington and in the city of Seattle. He has not now, nor has he ever been, on inactive status in Washington. License up to date, dues paid, credits fulfilled. It is you that is making this specious claim. Since this has been investigated and proven false already, I really question

ILLUSTRATED COMMENT OF THE WEEK

why you keep bringing it up. There’s a great phrase in legal circles: When the law is on your side—pound the law. When the evidence is on your side—pound the evidence. When neither is on your side—pound the table. This isn’t even pounding the table—it’s specious, unfactual, and malicious character assassination brokered under the cover of anonymous emails and blog postings and whispers in back alleys. Not admirable for the campaign of a member of the legal profession. Swiftboating is a GOP technique!

You will also note that Pete Holmes was employed BY THE CITY and received compensation in the same manner as did Tom Carr. Irony alert! He also did other legal work during that time, as a practicing attorney.

Comment by charterreader: OK. I’ll take you at your word and retract my earlier statement. ■ More arguing 24-7 at thestranger.com

by Greg Stump

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LAST DAYS The Week in Review MONDAY, JUNE 29 This week kicks off with a long-awaited day of reckoning for the perpetrator and beneficiary of what the New York Times hailed as “the largest, longest, and most widespread Ponzi scheme in history”: Bernie Madoff was sentenced today on an array of federal crimes including securities fraud, wire fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, perjury, and making false filings to the SEC. Condemning Madoff ’s crimes as “extraordinarily evil,” Federal District Judge Denny Chin pointed out that no friends, family, or other supporters had submitted any letters on Mr. Madoff ’s behalf before giving the disgraced financier the maximum sentence of 150 years in prison. Various victims were on hand to twist the knife, including Michael Schwartz, who said Madoff had stolen funds he’d set aside to sustain his disabled brother and expressed hope that “[Madoff ’s] jail cell will become his coffin,” and Burt Ross, who lost $5 million to Madoff ’s fraud and cited Dante’s Divine Comedy, sharing his dream that when Mr. Madoff dies—“virtually unmourned”—he will find himself in the lowest circle of hell.

TUESDAY, JUNE 30 Speaking of American sociopaths: The week continues with Sarah Palin, the failed vice-presidential nominee/ not-yet-failed governor of Alaska (the week is young) who today made headlines as the subject of Todd S. Purdum’s Vanity Fair profile “It Came from Wasilla,” a kaleidoscopically damning portrait of the politician as a proudly ignorant loon with a deep persecution complex, a hair trigger for perceived betrayal, and shockingly little regard for what lesser people call the truth. As countless readers were thrilled to discover, Purdum is unafraid to broach the big subjects. Palin’s questionable political prospects: “Why did so many skilled veterans of the Republican Party—long re-

I, ANONYMOUS To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, go to forums.thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty. One submission will be published in the paper every week, but all submissions to I, Anonymous can be found at thestranger.com.

HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DECENCY, SEATTLE?

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garded as the more adroit team in presidential politics—keep loyally working for her election even after they privately realized she was casual about the truth and totally unfit for the vice presidency? How could John McCain, one of the cagiest survivors in contemporary politics—with a fine appreciation of life’s injustices and absurdities, a love for the sweep of history, and an overdeveloped sense of his own integrity and honor—ever have picked a person whose utter shortage CRAZY GOVERNOR! of qualification for her proposed job all but disqualified him for his?”

And her questionable mental state: “More than once in my travels in Alaska, people brought up, without prompting, the question of Palin’s extravagant self-regard. Several told me, independently of one another, that they had consulted the definition of ‘narcissistic personality disorder’ in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—‘a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy’—and thought it fit her perfectly.

When Trig was born, Palin wrote an e-mail letter to friends and relatives, describing the belated news of her pregnancy and detailing Trig’s condition; she wrote the e-mail not in her own name but in God’s, and signed it ‘Trig’s Creator, Your Heavenly Father.’”

Thanks to Purdum and Vanity Fair for their invaluable piece of Palinalia—now let’s never speak of that woman again.

••Also today: The Minnesota Supreme Court ruled unanimously that the state’s second U.S. Senate seat be filled by Democrat Al Franken instead of Republican Norm Coleman, putting an end to an eight-month election battle and giving Democrats a rare, filibusterhobbling supermajority in the Senate. Congratulations to Senator Franken, who’s made it clear to every child in America that making fun of Rush Limbaugh is as good a way as any to launch a political career.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 1 Nothing hap-

Hey, assholes: When I’m walking around all morning with a big piece of light-green chewing gum stuck to the front of my sunglasses, feel free to help a girl out. Hey, barista—don’t just turn your eyes away from me like I’m a leper with my shirt on backward. Use your words: “Hey, hon, you have a big wad of chewing gum stuck to the front of your face.” Hey, bus driver! I blame you, too—you saw the big wad of green and let me stroll to the back of the bus like an asshole. Hey, guy sitting next to me on the bus! I saw you do a double take on me—so not only did you make me feel like an asshole for thinking you were flirting with me, you let me walk into work and say hi to my boss with a big wad of gum on my glasses. Thanks a lot, assholes.

—Anonymous

The Triumphant Return of...

pened today, unless you count the death of Karl Malden, the Oscar- and Emmy-winning star of A Streetcar Named Desire, On the Waterfront, and The Streets of San Francisco, who passed away today at age 97, or the horrification of Hot Tipper Super Jive, who was riding this morning’s 271 Metro to Bellevue when she was assaulted by the sight of a young woman assiduously scraping out her facial pores with her bus pass.

THURSDAY, JULY 2 In much better news, today New Delhi became the first Indian city to legalize homosexuality, with the Delhi High Court striking down Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code— created in 1861 by the British and making consensual sex between same-sex adult partners a crime punishable by up to 10 PARTIALLY years in prison—as OKAY WITH GAY! a violation of fundamental rights. As New Delhi’s NDTV reports, today’s repeal of Section 377 will also mean

July 9, 2009

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NCOLEW UMN!

WAILIN'?

by Sarah Palin

H

i, Alaska. I appreciate speaking directly TO you, the people I serve, as your governor. And I’m going to ask you a question, Alaska. Do you hear that wailin’? What do you think that wailin’ is? Is that Trig? No, it’s not blessed little Trig, who has literally been crucified by the media and risen three days later, even more special than before. Like Jesuses, the world needs more Trigs, not fewer. Trig is silent as the tomb. Is that duck wailin’? Look at that duck. And that scenery. Wonderful Alaska. You are so wonderful, I cannot be your governor anymore. You’re too wonderful. To fully appreciate your wonderfulness, I must step back—quickly, as if I were retreating—so I may gaze at and appreciate your wonderfulness more fully. Also, I’m tired of the media sacrileging me, like when that far-left operative Katie Couric asked me all those questions about my voting record and things I’d said in public. The politics of personal destruction have made it impossible for me to continue as your governor. Did you know 80 percent of my workweek is eaten up with Googling myself? That’s not a good use of your funds, wonderful Alaska. It’s no secret that anything you read about me in the media is going to be awful—that’s the media! So go ahead and make up whatever you want. I mailed anthrax to David Letterman for raping my adolescent daughter with his mouth. Trig is the Lindbergh baby. Trig is pregnant.

Whatever. A good power forward skates through a full-rink press, protecting her babies, keeping her eye on the other team’s mascot—the one with the creepy, squiggly eyes!— and she knows exactly when to pass the puck so that the team can WIN. Anyway, in order to not be a quitter, I’m quitting. What’s that wailin’? It’s the wind at my back, suckers!

changes in New Delhi’s civil laws pertaining to inheritance, property, and adoption. Hurrah and onward.

FRIDAY, JULY 3 Today brings Sarah Palin’s cuckoo, wacko freak-out on national television, 18 rambling minutes of Alaskan flattery, persecution paranoia, tortured sports metaphors, junior-high journaling, and random lip-flappings that ultimately communicated Palin’s abrupt resignation as Alaska’s governor. The closest thing Palin gave to a reason for quitting: the Democrat-and-liberal-mediafueled “politics of perNOW JUST sonal destruction”—a CRAZY! rich allegation from a politician who had no trouble charging Barack Obama with “pallin’ around with terrorists” while straining to bury all evidence of her family’s extensive connections to the secessionseeking Alaska Independence Party. But as today made clear, expecting constancy or even sanity from Palin is a fool’s game. Whatever she does next, it will be highly mockable and lightly terrifying.

SATURDAY, JULY 4 The week continues with Independence Day, which we’ll celebrate by acknowledging the seven ballistic missiles fired off the eastern coast of North Korea to-

day. “Our military is fully ready to counter any North Korean threats and provocations,” stated the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Happy birthday, USA, and back the fuck off, North Korea.

SUNDAY, JULY 5 And now for an update on the revolution in Iran, with this weekend bringing what an Iranian scholar called “the most historic crack in the 30 years of the Islamic republic.” The Association of Researchers and Teachers of Qum, an influential group of Iranian religious leaders, yesterday denounced the country’s disputed presidential election and new government as illegitimate, directly defying the “supreme authority” of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. As the New York Times reports, “The announcement came on a day when [favored presidential candidate Mir Hussein Moussavi] released documents detailing a campaign of fraud by the current president’s supporters… [accusing them] of printing more than 20 million extra ballots before the vote and handing out cash bonuses to voters.”

Meanwhile, a “close associate” of the supreme leader denounced would-be president-elect Moussavi as a “foreign agent” who should be treated as a criminal. Stay tuned.

Go see Humpday at the Harvard Exit, and send Hot Tips to lastdays@thestranger.com.

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WOMEN IN POWER Jody Hall, left, own-

er of Cupcake Royale, says Maria Cantwell, above, is “afraid to step up and represent.”

KELLY O

Is Maria Cantwell a Puppet for the Senate Finance Committee?

Her Natural Allies Can’t Make Sense of Her Refusal to Lead

BY ELI SANDERS

I

t’s hard to get much closer to the center of power on healthcare reform than the U.S. Senate Finance Committee. It’s currently drafting a bill that could reshape, for years to come,

the way that every single American enters the proposal, which would try to fix what’s wrong world, stays healthy, receives medical care for with American health care by creating a bunch of small health-care cooperatives around the the vulnerabilities of their body, and dies.

Senator Maria Cantwell landed a seat on country—the so-called “co-op compromise.”

“Co-ops cannot drive down costs,” said this prestigious committee in 2006—making her the first representative from Washington one furious Cantwell constituent, Jody Hall, owner of Seattle’s Cupcake State in 75 years to hold Royale and yet another such a post (and only the “It’s unfortunate that employer who’s desperate second ever). You’d know better (and cheaper) this if you read Cantwell’s a woman coming out for health-care solutions to ofpress releases, because she bragged about her appoint- of the business world fer her employees. “There’s ment to Finance at length at isn’t representing us no national bargaining power… they’re going to basithe time and promised that progressive, female cally be a nice gift to the “this key committee assigninsurance companies.” ment gives the Northwest a business owners.”

This is indeed what exvital seat at the table.” She perts say about co-ops: nice vowed to use this opportuidea, but not a big enough force to wade into nity to “fight” for health-care reform.

So what is Cantwell doing now that the Fi- the insurance market and compete against the nance Committee is driving toward a compro- big, established players to drive down costs. mise on health-care reform that alarms her That’s what the “public plan”—which Hall constituents and, according to experts, won’t supports—aims to do: create a governmentbe able to deliver real relief to a nation strug- backed insurance plan massive enough to do gling under the weight of a broken health- battle with Big Insurance on the brutal terrain of the free market. Most Americans supcare system? port the idea, as does President Obama.

She’s going along with it.

“It feels like Cantwell is afraid to step up Deferring to more-senior members of her committee—who are in a position to reward and represent,” Hall said. Which is an amazing her in the future—Cantwell has been de- statement coming from a person who is pretty liberately vague about exactly what type of much the likeliest of potential Cantwell supporthealth-care reform she supports. At the same ers: a liberal, a female, an entrepreneur—just time, she is talking up the committee’s current like Cantwell was before becoming a politician.

Molly Moon, owner of the popular Seattle ice-cream stores that bear her name, has the same frustration with Cantwell: “It’s unfortunate that a woman coming out of the business world isn’t really representing a lot of us progressive, female business owners on this issue,” she said. In late May, Washington’s other senator, Patty Murray, came to Moon’s store on Capitol Hill to hold a press event and express support for the public option. Cantwell, on the other hand, “seems to not really be taking the lead,” Moon said.

It’s natural that small-business owners would be at the front of the fight for better health-care options. Nationwide, their employees account for about 40 percent of the U.S. workforce, and perhaps as many as half the uninsured people in America work at small businesses where the owner has looked

July 9, 2009

11

at the numbers and decided that offering health benefits is just not affordable.

Hall is so fed up with the financial pinch that businesspeople like herself are feeling that she’s willing to take the unusual step of throwing open her books in order to offer an object lesson. Since the first Cupcake Royale opened in Madrona in 2003, Hall’s company has grown to include stores in Ballard, West Seattle, and (opening this month) Capitol Hill. After the new store opens, she’ll be employing about 75 people. Her policy is that any employee who works more than 25 hours a week is eligible for coverage through Blue Cross Blue Shield. “Which I’m really proud of,” she said.

Last year, Hall had revenue of several million dollars—but after operating expenses, her take-home profit was far less than that.

“You’ve got payroll, rents, cost of materials, and then health insurance,” she said. “Those are our four biggest line items. We will soon be paying in health insurance what we pay in rent for all of our locations.”

In 2008, the overall tab for Cupcake Royale’s health-insurance program, which covers 75 percent of its employees’ medical expenses, came in at about $120,000. The cost is sure to go up again this year as Hall adds employees and as she shops for a dental plan to offer them, too. Two years ago, the cost of providing health insurance to her employees jumped by 40 percent. In a normal year, it climbs by at least 20 percent.

“I feel like I’m a hostage to private insurance,” she said. “It’s not sustainable for me to charge a 20 percent to 40 percent increase per year on my products. What is happening across the board is that small businesses are cutting their deductibles to get a better rate, or they’re decreasing coverage, or they’re dropping coverage altogether.”

Hall, 42, didn’t get into the cupcake business to become a health-care-reform advocate. But in April she traveled to the White House to tell one of President Obama’s top health-care policy advisers that a public option is needed “so the big insurance companies don’t have a corner on the market.” She’s testified before the Washington State Legislature. She’s joined a local business group advocating reform. She’s turned Cupcake Royale’s blog into a platform for rallying the public on the issue.

She’s considering stamping every cup of coffee she sells at Cupcake Royale with the phone number for Cantwell’s office. She figures maybe that’s the way to reach the senator, since it turns out that going to D.C. didn’t accomplish much. The same day Hall was at the White House getting an audience with one of Obama’s top aides, she also arranged to attend a meeting with Cantwell’s staff to lobby them for real health-care reform. Cantwell sent a junior aide who wasn’t a health-policy expert.

“She said that Cantwell understands the needs of small businesses,” Hall recounted, still frustrated. “She basically made it sound like Cantwell supports a public option. But it turns out she hasn’t.” ■

Gun Fights, Machetes, and Murder Community centers are funded by the city and supposed to be safe. Instead, they’re becoming hubs for crime.

O

B Y J O N A H S PA N G E N T H A L - L E E

n July 5, Seattle police officers worked late into the evening pulling bullet fragments out of the walls of the Garfield Community Center on 23rd Avenue and East Cherry Street. Just before 7:00 p.m., a group of young men and women had been sitting

on the steps of the community center when a green Chevy Blazer pulled up to a stoplight.

According to a police report, the driver of the SUV opened fire on the group, shooting off two to five rounds—striking a 16-year-old girl in the right buttock and a 25-year-old man

12

July 9, 2009

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in the leg and abdomen—before speeding off.

This isn’t the first time gunfire has erupted outside of the community center, which is adjacent to Garfield High School and the Garfield Teen Life Center on 23rd Avenue.

On Halloween in 2008, 15-year-old Quincy Coleman and his 16-year-old friend were shot near the community center. Coleman died from his injures. Two months later, former

Police busted a teenager for carrying a machete to the Lake City Community Center.

Franklin High School basketball star Donnie Cheatham was blinded after he was shot in the temple while walking outside of the community center.

Community centers are supposed to be safe places for kids, to draw them away from gangs and guns. Under the city’s Youth Violence Prevention Initiative, a $9 million program introduced by the mayor last year to reduce youth and gang violence in Seattle, some community centers will become a staging ground for targeted intervention and prevention programs designed to reduce youth violence by 50 percent. Community centers are supposed to be safe harbors for kids to take up basketball and tae kwon do—rather than assault and robbery—but that $9 million is spread over two years and only a fraction of it goes to community centers. For instance, several million will go the city’s Human Services Department for things like anger-management and youthemployment programs.

According to records obtained from Seattle Parks and Recreation, community centers in South Park and Rainier Beach and the Southwest Community Center in the Roxhill neighborhood have experienced problems with fights, gang graffiti, car prowls, and guns in the last three years. Police records from the last month also indicate problems at centers in Alki Beach, Lake City, and Yesler Terrace.

On June 20, a group of teen boys flashed a gun at several girls outside of the Alki Community Center. A day earlier, police responded to the community center after a teenage girl reported she was robbed for her cell phone. According to a police report, the teenage girl asked a male friend to hold her iPhone while she tied a friendship bracelet to his wrist, then another boy approached them, punched the boy in the face, and took off with the phone.

That same evening, police busted a teenage boy for carrying a machete and a three-inch knife in a park next to the Lake City Community Center—which unlike other community centers is owned, but not run, by the city— after they caught him smoking pot outside of a dance at the center, a report says. On June 24, a 26-year-old man also reported being robbed near the Yesler Community Center by a group of teens, who punched him before making off with his cell phone and wallet.

In the last year, car prowlers have plagued the Rainier Beach Community Center; staff members, internal reports say, believe several teen boys are behind the break-ins. A group of teen boys flashed a gun at a woman near the South Park center in January 2008, and in June 2007, a police officer used pepper spray to clear the dance floor at a late-night teen event after a group of boys began brawling at the Southwest Community Center.

Despite the spate of recent incidents around community centers, Seattle parks department spokeswoman Dewey Potter does not believe there is a widespread problem and says kids still see community centers as safe places.

“During the shootings outside of Garfield,”

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

Potter says, “kids ran into the community center because they felt it was a safe and neutral place.” However, one staff member at the Garfield Community Center says a number of families stopped coming to the program following the shootings. Potter adds that parks officials have begun meeting with the police department to keep up on “trouble spots” like the Rainier Beach and South Park centers.

City council member Bruce Harrell, the vice-chair of the council’s public-safety committee, believes some centers should have more structure and be staffed with police officers, as several schools were last year. But there are no current plans to assign cops to community centers. Harrell has been working on a plan to enlist an army of volunteers for an at-risk-youth mentorship program, but that’s a ways off. “If you’re dealing with higher numbers [of kids] without a necessary agenda, the result could very well be chaos and fights,” Harrell says. “Unless we have some structure, we could inadvertently create the same kind of atmosphere we don’t want to create.” ■

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July 9, 2009

JULY 25 & 26 EXPO CENTER ENUMCLAW, WASHINGTON For More Information: (206) 522-2541 or Visit www.sshga.org

No One’s Picking Up If You Need the Help of the Tenants Union—Let’s Say Your Landlord Is Trying to Illegally Evict You—You’d Better Call Soon

BY DOMINIC HOLDEN

R

enters have been jamming the phone lines at the Tenants Union of Washington State for years. Once you get through, hotline workers explain your legal rights in dealing with a landlord who refuses to fix plumbing or tries to illegally evict you. But since July 1, fewer callers can get through.

Two employees, including the director, left last month when the group lost most of its funding, leaving only two part-time staffers to answer the phones 10 hours a week. Now, Tenants Union board members are playing two roles: volunteering for the hotline and running a fundraising blitz to save the 32-year-old group.

Last year, King County slashed funding to human services from the 2009 budget to manage a $93 million deficit. The county sustained the Tenants Union and a handful of other organizations in a “lifeboat” through the end of June, but that funding has run out. Board members realized that if they don’t raise $25,000 by July 16—which would keep the Tenants Union afloat through the end of the year while they find new funding—they will be forced to dissolve the organization.

How would losing the Tenants Union affect the average renter? “It might mean being at your landlord’s mercy,” says board member Lisa Herbold, who held a “raise the rent” party in her home on July 5, bringing in $2,600 (the group has another $10,000 pledged). (Herbold works in city council member Nick Licata’s office; two more Tenants Union board members also work in city government.) “The only other organization locally is Solid Ground, and they are already taking more calls than they can handle.” When I called Solid Ground, a social-service nonprofit, a receptionist said no one could take my call because “everyone here is so busy.” ■

Breaking news and weird crimes every day at

theStranger.com/slog

© Copyright 2009 SSHGA

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July 9, 2009

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July 9, 2009

15

The e Snowball’s-Chance-in-Hell-O-Meter Sn Me etter

The Mayor’s Race

BY DOMINIC HOLDEN

W

e’ve got a bummer crop of mayoral candidates this year. According to a June 25 poll by SurveyUSA, more than a quarter of likely voters haven’t decided who they’re backing. At the recent endorsement meeting of the King County Democrats, the group didn’t endorse a single candidate. Voters will go to the polls for a top-two primary on August 18, and the leading two candidates proceed to the general election. One of them will probably be Nickels, but he’s so unpopular that whoever makes it through to challenge him has a good shot at winning.

But most of them don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.

Greg Nickels “Hey, Emerald City! I’m your green mayor! Let’s build some more shitty-looking buildings in South Lake Union! I built the light rail with my bare hands! I love eating!”

Jan Drago “I’m Nickels in a dress! He embarrassed us in Olympia!

Now it’s my chance to embarrass us!”

James Donaldson “Hey, remember me? I played basketball on TV! I’m really tall and I love small businesses.”

Mike McGinn “I used to work for the Sierra Club! My greener-thanNickels campaign was hot until Jan and James upstaged it. Damn you both! I am the Lorax! Think of the trees!”

Joe Mallahan “I’m rich! Like Ross Perot!

We’re gonna get all the world-class experts together in a room to solve the problems that Nickels created.

Look at my pie chart!”

Elizabeth Campbell “I’m running an initiative to stop the tunnel and save the viaduct, and if I run for mayor, I’ll get lots of attention! Even though my initiative’s dumb!”

Kwame Wyking Garrett

GREATEST STRENGTHS

BIGGEST WEAKNESSES

Incumbent. Has a staff who knows how to muscle legislation past the feckless city council. Is head of the United States Conference of Mayors.

Has money.

Carbs. Also, he’s widely detested for cozying up to development interests, pushing onerous nightlife regulations, and leaving key arterials covered in snow last December while crews parted the frozen seas in his own neighborhood.

Would be the first female mayor in 81 years. Has name recognition from serving on the city council since the mid–Paleozoic Era. Noncontroversial, status-quo type.

Less charismatic than Nickels, a feat previously thought impossible. Like Nickels, beholden to police and developer interests.

Loved and remembered as a Seattle SuperSonic (from the days when the Sonics were literally and figuratively super, and when the team was in Seattle).

Can’t seem to decide if he’s going to play up his basketball bona fides or stick to talking points about supporting small businesses and abolishing taxes. And he’s spent more than he’s raised—his is the only campaign running in the red.

Internal polling shows he jumps to first place when he warns voters about replacing the viaduct with a tunnel that risks huge cost overruns—which the city will be on the hook for. He’s for the surface/ transit option.

Hasn’t shown tremendous grasp of urgent challenges before the next mayor (like gang violence), instead talking up education (which schoolboard members are elected to handle) and buses (run by the county, not the city).

Has a soul-warming story about the time that, as a T-Mobile executive, he gave more minutes to Hurricane Katrina victims. Gave his campaign $200,000—which will likely go toward ads that repeat his soul-warming T-Mobile story.

No one’s heard of him. For the candidate with the most swollen coffers (after Nickels), his polling numbers are down the tubes.

Willing to face down an onslaught of opponents (the mayor, the governor, the Department of Transportation) on the viaduct—just like the brave young man who faced down those tanks in Tiananmen Square. Um, whatever happened to that guy?

Her crusades run the gamut from ridiculous (saving the viaduct) to repugnant (fighting to block the homeless housing in Discovery Park).

Would be a refreshing change from the milquetoast African-American politicians of Seattle’s past—Norm Rice, Richard McIver, Ron Sims.

Incomprehensible politics.

Called for reparations for African Americans for slavery while running as a Republican in 2006 for representative of the 37th District.

Also protested the opening of the Central District’s widely beloved African-American museum.

Thinks Seattle should pursue direct peace talks with North Korea after a congressman suggested North Korea could nuke Seattle.

Thinks Seattle should pursue direct peace talks with North Korea after a congressman suggested North Korea could nuke Seattle.

“My campaign has no website, and I don’t check my voice mail!”

Norman Sigler “Blah, blah, blah, blah bring people together. Blah, blah, blah, blah business development. Blah, blah, blah, blah community…”

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17

theSTRANGERSUGGESTS THU JULY 9

FRI

‘American Romances’

JULY 10

PA R T Y

West Seattle Summer Fest West Seattle Summer Fest takes over three blocks of California Avenue Southwest for three days this weekend. Mudhoney play tonight, among other bands. Team Gina (sweet lesbian electro-rap), We Are Golden (Stranger Genius Award–winning performer Sarah Rudinoff’s band), Caspar Babypants (the Presidents of the United States of America’s Chris Ballew playing children’s songs), and Thee Sgt. Major III (rock) play tomorrow, among many other bands. Also at the festival: food, beer gardens, family stuff, a skateboard exhibition, etc. The festival is 27 years old this year. (West Seattle Junction, www.westseattle festival.com. 10 am–8 pm, free, all ages.) C H RI STOPH E R FRI Z Z E LLE M U S I C , S K AT E B O A R D S , S U N B U R N S

Local literary treasure Rebecca Brown writes like Braque used to paint—some historical footage here, a few fuckedup found objects there, some sensual and fractured memories over there— and conflates them all into work that is both urgent and surprising. Tonight she celebrates her new book, American Romances (published by City Lights), with wine and conversation. The essays dive into the muckiest, most beautiful crannies in and around Nathaniel Hawthorne, the Beach Boys, Gertrude Stein, Oscar Wilde, and fucking in the sand.

But this isn’t a reading, mind you—it’s a party. Prepare yourself for brainy, sexy fun. (Bailey/Coy Books, 414 Broadway E, 323-8842. 7 pm, free.) B R EN D A N K ILEY

Mudhoney SHAWN BRACKBILL SH

SAT

JULY 11

Robin Pecknold, Throw Me the Statue

MUSIC

Tonight’s concert marks the culmination of the Vera Project’s seventh annual “A Drink for the Kids” fundraising campaign, in which Seattle’s 21+ supporters raise money for the rad all-ages venue simply by drinking. Doesn’t philanthropy feel awesome? Or is that the booze? Not only less annoying than a pledge drive, tonight’s is a hell of a lineup: Headlining is Robin Pecknold of beardo darlings Fleet Foxes performing a rare solo set. Opening are Throw Me the Statue, whose forthcoming Creaturesque continues their fine take on catchy, clever indie rock laid out on last year’s arresting debut, Moonbeams.

(Neumos, 925 E Pike St, 709-9467. 8 pm, $15, 21+.) E R I C G R A N DY

Robin Pecknold JOSH BIS

SUN JULY 12

MON

Burning Beast

JULY 13 CHOW

Carnivores unite! It’s the secondannual world’s greatest feast in a field, featuring a dozen of Seattle’s best chefs cooking whole beasts over hot coals, all day long. The setting (and the beneficiary of this fundraiser): the ridiculously beautiful, endlessly bucolic Smoke Farm (a nonprofit haven for artists, philosophers, and other oddballs an hour north of the city). Among the chefs: organizer Tamara Murphy (Brasa, Elliott Bay Cafe), Matt Dillon (Sitka and Spruce, the Corson Building), Dustin Ronspies (Art of the Table), and Jonathan Sundstrom (Lark). New this year: venison. Continuing from 2008: a river to swim in. (Smoke Farm, Arlington, www.smokefarm .org. 6 pm–midnight, $75, all ages.) BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT

TUE

JULY 14

Psychic Ills, Indian Jewelry

MUSIC

Local psychedelic-arts collective Portable Shrines has hit the jackpot tonight, landing two of America’s finest mind-warpers.

Indian Jewelry, from Texas, excel at both erecting majestic drones and forging a sort of tantric garage rock that makes a thrilling virtue out of repetitive, distortionsaturated riffing. Brooklyn’s Psychic Ills have morphed from 13th Floor Elevators/Spacemen 3 acolytes into a much stranger beast, a kind of lysergic dub unit. On the recent Mirror Eye, their tracks throb, glow, and drift in a disorienting haze. (Funhouse, 206 Fifth Ave N, 374-8400.

Psychic Ills 9:30 pm, $7, 21+.) D AV E SE GAL

WED

‘Humpday’

JULY 15 FILM

After smashing runs at Sundance and Cannes, and a gala SIFF homecoming, Humpday lands in Seattle for a proper run. In Humpday, two thirtysomething, heterosexual male friends decide to have sex on camera and submit the results to HUMP!, The Stranger’s amateur-porn competition.

As I wrote in this year’s SIFF guide: “From this ridiculous premise, writer-director Lynn Shelton spins a small miracle: a deep, hilarious, completely contemporary relationship comedy that explores with almost scientific precision how such a ridiculous premise would play out in real life.” Go see it. (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film.) DAVI D S C H M A DE R

‘Objectified’

FILM

From the man behind 2007’s beloved Helvetica—a history of and love letter to a font—comes another sharp, brainy documentary obsessed with design. In Objectified, filmmaker Gary Hustwit takes a kaleidoscopic view of industrial design, from interviews with design superstars to biographies of objects that set the world on fire (the iPod! The Dirt Devil! The Braun toothbrush!) to inquiries into the meaning, purpose, and dangers of our objectdrenched planet. (Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave, 829-7863. 7 and 9 pm, $9.) D AV I D SC H MAD E R

18

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

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Still asking what

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Attend an Info Session Tuesday, July 21 Issaquah Public Library at 6 p.m.

10 W. Sunset Way | Issaquah Fremont Branch Library at 6:30 p.m.

731 N. 35th St. | Seattle

800.424.8580 www.peacecorps.gov

11th annual

2009

A three-hour whirlwind of cirque, comedy and cabaret served with a ďŹ ve-course feast designed by Chef Tom Douglas.

saturday july 11 7:30 pm the paramount theatre

TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT WWW.STGPRESENTS.ORG OR (877) STG-4TIX TICKETS ALSO AVAILABLE AT THE PARAMOUNT THEATRE BOX OFFICE OR AT 24-HOUR KIOSKS SEATTLE THEATRE GROUP IS A NON-PROFIT ARTS ORGANIZATION

stgpresents.org

CITY

F E AT U R E

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

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19

July 9, 2009

THEATER

KELLY O

STOKLEY TOWLES He’s all up in your tubes.

only seven in the past 14 years, most of them in the 1990s—but Waterlines is about so much more than “perceptions and behaviors around water use.” It’s about the rats in your toilets (they’re really there), about the invention of near beer (as a safe alternative to drinking

BY BRENDAN KILEY water, since the low alcohol content supposedly killed germs), and about a local man named his paragraph, a description of a nonfiction performance Mel who has walked 90 percent of Seattle’s piece by Stokley Towles called Waterlines, might be what’s sewer pipes (the things he’s found there: a tricycle; part of a canoe; a secret reading room wrong with theater in America: with desk, chair, and plywood floorboard that to Stokley Towles’s bizarre little piece of jour- somebody obviously set up as a private hideArtist Stokley Towles will present Waternalistic theater about rats, oil-clogged pipes, away—Mel, Towles says, let it be). lines, a performance piece, in July at VolOther topics discussed: secret tunnels and sewer-worker slang for all the used conunteer Park, also home to the Volunteer doms they find crumpled in the pipes beneath leading to springs, accidentally demolished Park Reservoir. Towles will explore local in Israel; what parts of Seattle have our city (“whitefish”). Thank you, perceptions and behaviors around water Waterlines the most fat- and oil-clogged sewers; Arts & Cultural Affairs, for commisuse, its sources and conservation efforts.

Volunteer Park the etymology of “rival” (those who sioning Waterlines, but can we please He traced the flow of our city’s water Through July 19 share a river or a stream); and Seatnot write about it like it’s homework? through interviews with city utility emtle’s professional water tasters, whose palates It’s not supposed to be good for you. ployees. He will show his findings, tell stoTowles is a disarmingly charismatic man— are more accurate than microscopes in figurries of our city’s water supply, and share tall, tanned, and wholesome looking, like a ing out what kind of algae are living in the waartifacts in a 40-minute performance that Christian camp counselor—who interviews ter. Microscopes can only see what’s in a tiny presents the municipal utility in playful people about the mundane facts of their lives, drop, but the tasters can detect a broad range and illuminating fashion. mixes all the details in a storytelling blender, of algae species in one mouthful and help the Apologies to whoever wrote that dreary de- and then makes shows telling you things you city figure out what kind of treatment methscription—one assumes somebody at the Office never even realized you should’ve been wonder- ods to use. The tasters, Towles says, claim our of Arts & Cultural Affairs, which commissioned ing about. They’re like Richard Scarry books— source water has a potato flavor in October, the project—but you screwed up. Bureaucratic the ones that explain what firefighters are and then moves on to notes of cucumber, beets, and Brazil nuts as the temperature and algae pidgin like that is like chloroform to audiences. how buildings are made—for grown-ups.

Towles hasn’t made many performances— content change. Once, Towles heard an expert It’s almost as if you don’t want people to come

It’s the Water

Rats, Beer, and What’s in Your Pipes

T

THEATER CALENDAR Opening and Current Runs THE BREAK/S “After productions at the Humana Festival, Yale Repertory Theatre, and New York City’s Public Theater, Marc Bamuthi Joseph’s the break/s arrives in Seattle as a well-polished, well-received work of hiphop theater. Subtitled a mixtape for the stage, the break/s is essentially a solo show with a live drummer/beatboxer and DJ. But Joseph is

the star—a dancing, bouncing performance poet who flawlessly executes some flawed material. Fans of slam/performance poetry may love the break/s, but fans of theater, hiphop, and dance may find it distressingly scattered. (David Schmader) ACT Theatre, 700 E Union St, 292-7676. $10-$55. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7:30 pm.

Through July 12.

COMEDY OF ERRORS The Shakespeare one with the near-incest, demonic possession, and mistaken identities. GreenStage at Seattle parks. See www.greenstage.org for dates and locations.

Various locations, across Seattle. Free.

Opening Fri July 10 at 7 pm. Sat-Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 15.

THE DESERT A new group called the Simple Theater Company makes a show about a boy, a girl, alienation, and a room full of string. Cornish College of the Arts, 1000 Lenora St, 6893522. $5. Opening Thurs July 9 at 8 pm.

Fri-Sun at 8 pm. Through July 19.

KING JOHN “Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale/Vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.” GreenStage at Seattle parks. See www.greenstage.org for dates and locations. Various locations, across Seattle. Free. Opening Fri July 10 at 7 pm. Sat at 7 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Aug 15.

THE ELEPHANT MAN The rise and fall of big, fat, fucking Rush Limbaugh, starring Alexandra Tavares, MJ Seiber, David Pichtte, and other excellent Seattle actors. Directed by Julie Beckman.

Strawberry Theatre Workshop at Erickson Theater Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave, 587-5400. $10-$25. Opening Fri July 10 at 8:30 pm. Sat at 8:30 pm. Through Aug 9.

ORANGE FLOWER WATER “Orange Flower Water is the second outing for the New Century Theatre Company. Their first production, a haunting, noir version of The Adding Machine—chiaroscuro design, glaring spotlights, the electric chair—was an invitation to a nightmare. Orange Flower Water’s nightmare is less searing, more mundane. The preshow tableau tells you

describe her sample as tasting “like summer camp—a hint of wet life jacket.”

“I find it very reassuring that it’s not left to the mechanics and computers and pipes to determine how our water is treated,” Towles says in a trailer in Volunteer Park where he

“Everyday stuff that I thought was everyday stuff is not everyday stuff.” will perform Waterlines for the next few weekends. “Everyday stuff that I thought was everyday stuff is not everyday stuff.”

Towles has filled the trailer—near the reservoir and Seattle Asian Art Museum— with maps, photographs, different brands of bottled water, and other people’s stories about water pinned to the wall. Don’t be shy about going in. When the trailer opened on a sunny day last week, the first visitor—a bespectacled, gray-haired docent at the Volunteer Park Conservatory—timidly walked through the door and said: “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Towles said, ushering her inside.

“It’s for you.” ■

More on water sports at

theStranger.com/theater

everything you need to know: two middleaged straight couples, brooding in chairs at the far corners of the stage, with a queensize bed (their battleground) in the center.

Children’s toys are strewn around the edges.

Brightly lit but never referenced, these toys are symbolic hurdles—stumbling blocks for the married-with-children as they try to flee their domestic lives. The script, by Craig Wright, doesn’t get its tentacles too deeply into the fraught material. His characters don’t always ascend—or descend—to the condition of being human. Orange Flower Water is sometimes the reverse of a Moonie wedding, with everyone getting divorced: The scale is impressive, but it’s difficult to become too invested in anyone. They’re all jerks, but they

aren’t interesting jerks.” (Brendan Kiley) ACT Theatre, 700 E Union St, 292-7676. $25.

Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm, Wed at 8 pm. Through July 20.

OTHELLO The acclaimed production from Theatre for a New Audience travels from New York to Seattle. Directed by Arin Arbus. Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10$55. Thurs at 7:30 pm, Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues-Wed at 7:30 pm. Through August 2.

PRETTY GIRLS “Pretty Girls is a corny satire. Two leaders of a Church of Beauty try to convert women to worship good looks. They yell, ‘Let’s

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July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

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<=E =< D73E GreenStage presents the 9th annual

â&#x20AC;&#x153;BLAZING

ACROSS THE STAGEâ&#x20AC;?

-The New York Times

Trust No One

Seattle Outdoor Theater Festival!

G I L B E R T

&

S U L L I V A N â&#x20AC;&#x2122; S

Volunteer Park July 11 & 12, 2009 PERFORMANCES FROM GreenStage ¡ Theater Schmeater Seattle Shakespeare Companyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wooden O Open Circle Theatre ¡ Balagan Theatre Last Leaf Productions Young Shakespeare Workshop complete schedule at

outdoortheater.org go see a play!

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FREE ed

Intiman Theatre presents Theatre for a New Audienceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Production of

pt cce ns a atio

don

OTHELLO

BAGLEY WRIGHT TICK E T S

206-341-9612

Now Through August 2

By William Shakespeare Directed by Arin Arbus

W W W. P A T T E R S O N G . O R G or TICKETMASTER 206-292-ARTS

Seattleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Shakespeare in the Park Company

Frank P Wartenburg/Photolibrary

10-11,16-18,23-25

THEATRE @ SEATTLE CENTER

Intiman Theatre at Seattle Center

206.269.1900 www.intiman.org

JULY

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SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

THE STRANGER

July 9, 2009

21

He Ain’t Streisand, He’s My Brother The Borscht-Belt Stage Magic of the Edwards Twins B Y D AV I D S C H M A D E R

L

ike many theatrical young men born in the 1960s, Anthony and Eddie Edwards were inspired by the great TV divas of the ’70s: Cher on The Sonny & Cher Show, Lily Tomlin on Laugh-In. Unlike many of those other young mustache and croak—but performing live as men, the Burbank-born Edwards brothers Barbra Streisand takes some chops, and Edwere encouraged to become professional en- die Edwards’s seemingly effortless emulation tertainers by one of their beloved TV divas: of Streisand’s buttery vocals was the musical Carol Burnett urged them to fuse their musi- high point of the show. cal abilities to create “Celebrities on Stage,” Eddie Edwards’s Streisand is also the the celebrity-impersonation extravaganza majority of the show—the “100 Celebrities!” the Edwards Twins have been will apparently stretch throughtouring around the country for the The Edwards out the two-month run, with each Twins past decade. (The Burnett story in week’s installment bringing a halfJulia’s on Broadway a nutshell: She first saw Anthony dozen to the stage. On opening Through Sept 23 Edwards impersonate her in a show weekend, these celebs were Sonny in Toronto, then she hired Eddie Edwards to and Cher, Streisand, John, Andrea Bocelli, impersonate Bette Midler in one of her own and a handful of vocal-only impersonations shows, and now all three are chums.) undertaken by Anthony while Eddie deSubtitled Two Brothers, 100 Celebrities!, Chered himself. A quick-moving show it the Edwards Twins’ show kicked off its Se- is not, with sets by John, Streisand, and attle summer residency at Julia’s on Broad- Cher lumbering on for five or more songs way this past weekend, landing on opening each, with diminishing returns. Still, there’s night as a well-polished chunk of borscht-belt something undeniably charming about seestage magic. Beyond mere look-alikes, the ing two borscht-belt lifers plying their wellEdwards Twins are both visual and vocal il- honed trades in your neighborhood, and I’d lusionists, with Eddie Edwards channeling be happy if this goofy, old-timey show found the divas (Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, the Seattle audience it craves. But I’m not Cher) and Anthony Edwards approximat- going back to check. ■ ing various men (Elton John, Neil Diamond, Sonny Bono). Of course, nearly anyone can Comment on this review at impersonate Sonny Bono—just slap on a thestranger.com

purge!’ to disperse and trade off being the biggest backstabbing attention whore. While the play’s central idea—women believe they will be beautiful if they work hard enough—is true and the various insecurity issues the characters struggle with are in every teen drama ever written. But, in the spirit of teen drama, it’s quickly obvious that bittersweet goodness will prevail and bittersweet lessons will be learned. At its best, the play—peppered with video clips—shows our private and familiar obsessions: the way we stand in front of a mirror, a cell-phone mating dance, and a woman shoving a chocolate cake into her mouth. The rest is snappy Gilmore Girls-y mockery that grows as tiresome as the boyfriend’s line: ‘Why can’t you see you the way I see you?’ Miss Universe breaks the mood by biting The Woman in White in the ankle. ‘They’re just a bunch of vain little girls,’ says one cynical friend who is hungry (!) for Thai Food.

She’s right.” (Bianca Giaever) Marked Woman Productions at Theatre 4, Seattle Center House, fourth Floor, 305 Harrison Street, 800-8383006. $8-$10. Fri at 8 pm.

Through July 11.

REVENGE AND SORROW IN THEBES An adaption of The Bacchae of Euripides—about chicks, drunkenness, and revenge— directed by Heidi Heimarck.

Flying Elf Productions at Stone Soup Theatre, 4035 Stone Way N, 800-838-3006. $15. Opening Fri July 10 at 8 pm. Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm.

Through July 26.

RICHARD III Shakespeare’s famous play about psoriasis and sciatica. Directed by Stephanie Shine. Seattle Shakespeare Company parks. See www .seattleshakespeare.org for dates and locations. Various locations, across Seattle.

Free. Opening Thurs July 9 at 7 pm. Fri at 7 pm, Sat at 2 pm, Sun at 7 pm. Through Aug 2.

THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE A cautionary, euphemistic tale by über-Deutchman Goethe about a young man who discovers a power he cannot control (hello! libido!) and how it threatens to undo him. Also starring a talking pussycat. It is a children’s show. Theater Schmeater at Volunteer Park, 14th Ave E and E Prospect St, 329-2629. Free. Opening Sat July 11 at 5 pm. Sun at 5 pm.

Through Aug 9.

TAMING OF THE SHREW “Do as adversaries do in law— strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.” Directed by Elizabeth Eller. Balagan Theatre at Fremont Troll, Troll Ave N and N 36th St. Free. Sat-Sun at 11:30 am and 1:30 pm.

Through July 12.

★ TRES TRISTES TIGRES Three solo performances directed by Trinidad Martinez, one of the elegant and melancholy- looking dancers from Pat Graney’s House of Mind earlier this year. Magpai Production Group at Freehold Theatre, 2222 Second Ave, Suite 200, 800-838-3006. $15. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 18.

Burlesque BAD MOTOR BOOTY Burning Hearts Burlesque at Club Motor, 1950 First Ave S, 898-9067. $10. Thurs at 9 pm.

LITTLE RED STUDIO An erotic cabaret. 400 Dexter Ave N, 328-4758. $30. Fri-Sat at 9 pm.

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW Seattle Shakespeare Company performing a dueling Taming of the Shrew (up against Balagan’s production), this one directed by Aimee Bruneau.

See www.seattleshakespeare. org for dates and locations.

Various locations, across Seattle. Free. Opening Sat July 11 at 3 pm. Sun at 7 pm, Wed at 7 pm. Through Aug 2.

TEMPTING TARTS BURLESQUE Rendezvous, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $10. Wed July 15 at 7 and 8:30 pm.

★ WATERLINES See preview on page 19.

Volunteer Park, 14th Ave E and E Prospect St, 329-2629.

Free. Fri at 7 pm, Sat-Sun at noon. Through July 19.

COMEDY AT COMEDY UNDERGROUND Comedy Underground, 109 S Washington St, 628-0303. $6-$20. Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 8 and 10:15 pm, Sun-Wed at 8 pm.

Dance

HONKY TONK C o u n t r y - m u s i c i m p r o v.

Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 800-838-3006. $10. FriSat at 8:30 pm, Sun at 7 pm.

Through July 26.

THE SLICK FILLING OF ACHES AND CAVITIES A night of dance and performance about “our faith that eating at McDonlad’s and slipping one’s hand up a skirt are comparable expressions of self.” Created by Lindsey Drury, performed by Gabriel Lukeris and Laura Bartczak.

These folks are hoping to take the show to New York City for the BoCoCa Arts Festival in Brooklyn. GoGo Vertigoat Dance and/or Performance at Lo-Fi, 429 Eastlake Ave E, 800-838-3006. $16. Sun July 12 at 8:30 pm.

Improv & Comedy COMEDY AT 88 KEYS 88 Keys, 315 Second Ave S, 839-1300. $10. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm.

JET CITY IMPROV Historic University The ater, 5510 University Way NE, 352-8291. $8-$10. Fri at 10:30 pm, Sat at 8 and 10:30 pm.

LO-BALL The B allard wing of the People’s Republic of Komedy.

Live Girls! Theater, 2220 NW Market St, 380-6571. $5. Fri at 11 pm.

DJS MARK M, LAFAYETTE, BRIAN LYONS, KADEEJAH STREETS

still smokin’

OBJECTION! Wing-it Productions at Historic University Theater, 5510 University Way N E, 3528291. $9-$10. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm. Through July 24. ★ SLUMPROV MILLIONAIRE In which an improv group discovers the secret of India’s greatest cinematic hit of the 21st century. Quiet Monkey Fight at Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 375-8945. $10. Sat at 8 pm.

Through July 11.

THEATRESPORTS Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414. $8-$12. FriSat at 10:30 pm.

VROOOMMM! An all-female “NASComedy”.

Live Girls! Theater, 2220 NW Market St, 800-838-3006. $12-$18. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 4 and 8 pm. Through July 11.

Late Night ★ RETURN TO CAMP DEATH: THE RETURNINING PART 3: THE RECKONINING Slasher-movie improv. Blood Squad at Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 375-8945. $10. Opening Sat July 11 at 10:30 pm. Through Aug 15.

Special Events ALL-HOLIDAY PARTY 2009 Beginning at 7 pm with the Chinese New Year, Annex celebrates all of the major (and minor) annual holidays, ending with New Years at midnight.

Annex Theatre, 1100 E Pike St, 728-0933. $10. Sat July 11 from 7 pm to 2 am.

WET HOUSE PARTY! End-of-the-season barbecue, beer, karaoke, and barfing with Washington Ensemble Theatre.

Washington Ensemble Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 800-838-3006. Free. Sat July 11 from 7 to 10 pm. ★ MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. SEND PRESS RELEASES TO: theater@thestranger.com

5261 University Way NE Seattle

206.524.3769

LARGEST SMOKE SHOP IN SEATTLE!

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July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

BOOKS 4. Build a Community Your bookstore needs to be more than just books and a cash register. Pilot Books will display artwork, beginning with Nico Vassilakis’s visual poetry later this summer, and she’s planning on hosting one reading a week.

In addition, on Sunday nights at 7:00 p.m., Robinson will host readers’ groups (“Weekly, themed sessions where the reading takes place in situ. No homework. No falling behind if you skip sessions”) and Monday nights will be themed writing-exercise nights (June 29 featured “Repetition in poetic prose. Think: reanimating Gertrude Stein”). There is talk about turning the upstairs reading area into a “typewriter bar” where people can write alone or collaborate on experimental prose and poetry. And of course there’s the lending library, a collection of Robinson’s own books (many of which are represented downstairs in the bookstore proper) that customers can take out on the honor system.

Spending time in Pilot Books feels like hiding out in a super-cool literary tree fort.

5. Lighting Is Important “Nobody went into that back staircase,” Robinson says, indicating the magazine and limited-edition shelves, “until I put a strong light in there.” It really was kind of a creepy corner.

KELLY O

FACED OUT Robinson’s wall of literary greatness.

How to Open an Awesome Bookstore in Nine Easy Steps Summer Robinson Created Pilot Books with a Little Money and Not Much of a Plan B Y PA U L C O N S TA N T

A

re bookstores an endangered species? On July 1, Epilogue Books, a wonderful general-interest bookstore in Ballard, announced that, due to problems finding a suitable lease agreement, it would be closing its doors forev- of books. One wall displays a collection of er. But there is an antidote to that depressing books faced out, like works of art; many of news: Pilot Books is a tiny, beautiful bookstore those books have insert cards with one or two that opened one month ago upstairs in the pe- words (such as “sharp” and “yes yes”) printed on them as a recommendation. destrian mall at 219 Broadway Pilot Books Spending time in Pilot Books East. Owner Summer Robinson 219 Broadway E, (especially the upstairs lending started Pilot Books as a booth of www.pilotbooksseattle.com library, which is quiet and dim curated small-press titles in the Noon–8 pm, closed Wed and lined with comfy reading eccentric Capitol Hill junk shop the Anne Bonny (“It was the kiddie-pool ver- chairs) feels like hiding out in a super-cool sion of what I wanted it to be,” she says), and literary tree fort, and Robinson is funny and Robinson is slowly expanding her stock to fill candid enough to make visitors want to join the new blue-and-beige storefront—currently her writerly club.

Robinson doesn’t seem depressed about the store carries just 600 titles. It feels like a giant bookstore with all the bullshit cut out, the Dismal Future of the Book Industry; she notes excitedly that the store is already payleaving just the good stuff.

Robinson divides Pilot Books up into only ing its own rent. Talking to her is enough to ina few sections—Fiction, Poetry, an infant spire you to open a bookstore yourself. Here’s Graphic Novel section, and then Everything what she’s learned so far: Else, with shelving for 10 (and only 10) magazines and a separate display space for limited 1. Lower Your Expectations for Success Robinson notes that though the money editions. But the category lines are less important than in other bookstores, as Pilot is part of the Pilot Books equation is going beta space for people who love the idea and art ter than she expected it would one month in,

her yardstick for financial viability is that she hasn’t stopped eating. “Of course,” she adds, “I also moved from a place with $1,200-amonth rent to $400-a-month rent.”

2. No Experience Necessary Pilot Books is Robinson’s first small business, and though she worked in a Barnes and Noble a long time ago, she was a cafe employee and rarely got to work with books. But she does have other skills: A lucrative but unsatisfying stint in the advertising industry provided the cash to open the bookstore, and her excellent copywriting abilities are evident on the store’s website (www.pilotbooksseattle.com). Which leads us to the next point…

3. Get a Good Website Although a reportedly snazzier version is in the works, Pilot Books’ current website (which Robinson calls the “little cardboard box we now call ‘home’ on the Web”) is basically a blog with a few adjoining pages, and it’s already one of the most entertaining bookstore websites in town, with book reviews, announcements, and an ever-growing list of all the publishers represented in the store (currently 148, listed alphabetically).

6. You Need a Mission Statement “I want people to know that each time they come in here, they’ll find something awesome.

It might take more than 30 seconds—it might take some browsing—but I guarantee they’ll find something they love. And I can help them find it. And unlike every other bookstore, I know everything in here. I at least know something about every one of these books.”

7. You Will Probably Be Called a Book Snob Robinson says that her preference for small, independent presses has resulted in charges of elitism for her entire life, and Pilot Books will no doubt annoy some Dan Brown lovers. “I’m just saying that independent publishers exist and need a space, and it’s probably got to be a dedicated space,” she says. But she can’t stop herself: “That said, I think the books that are hardest to read are the best.”

8. You Need a Vision Robinson can talk for hours about the beauty of books as objects. She equates the books produced by giant publishers to the art prints for sale at IKEA. “But you need art galleries, too, so this is kind of a book gallery.

I want to see writing and reading become as vibrant and exciting as visual arts are.”

9. But You Need Perspective, Too At the end of the day, Robinson says, she has to remember that Pilot Books is just a bookstore. “It’s just what it is. It doesn’t have to revolutionize the business,” she says and looks around her bookstore, pausing for a second. “Everybody knows the only thing that can do that is the Kindle.” And then her laughter fills the shop. ■ Comment on this story at thestranger.com

CITY

F E AT U R E

Readings Thurs 7/9 IT’S ABOUT TIME WRITERS READING SERIES Arthur Tulee, Jeff Encke, and Jane Allyn read, and Laura McKee will discuss “The Writer’s Craft.” With an open mic. Seattle Public Library, Ballard Branch, 5614 22nd Ave NW, 684-4089. Free.

6 pm.

MUCH DEPENDS ON DINNER Gloria Steinem will appear at this dinner celebrating women and change. The price is not a misprint. Sanctuary at Admiral, 2656 42nd Avenue SW, 360-321-4786. $1,000.

6:30 pm.

DAVID J. WILLIAMS James Bond meets 1984 in The Burning Skies. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

SISTER’S SINGING Female singers and poets will perform in support of a book called Sisters Singing: Blessings, Prayers, Art, Songs, Poetry and Sacred Stories by Women. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $15.

7:30 pm.

Depressed?

Sun 7/12 ★ LUCIA PERILLO Perillo’s latest collection is the awesomely titled Inseminating the Elephant. Central Library, 1000 Fourth Ave, 386-4636.

Free. 2 pm.

Answer the following questions based on the last 8 weeks or more.

Mon 7/13 ★ COLUM MCCANN Let the Great World Spin is a novel about the guy who was the basis for the documentary Man on Wire. Ordinarily, I’d suggest watching the documentary instead, but McCann is an excellent writer. Central Library, 1000 Fourth Ave, 6343400. Free. 7 pm.

, self critical y p p a h n u , d el sa ❏ ❏ 1. I fe el tired and have little energy ❏ ❏ 2. I feave trouble sleeping or eating ❏ ❏ 3. I(ehither too much or toothliatttleI )used to ctivities on’t enjoy a d I . r guilty 4 s, irritable o ❏ ❏ s e tl s re , y s a el une ❏ ❏ 5. I feave trouble concentrating, g decisions ❏ ❏ 6. Irehmembering things or makin

YES NO

Tues 7/14

ISIS AQUARIAN The author, who is apparently named “Isis Aquarian,” reads from a book about a commune called In the Source: The Untold Story of Father Yod, Ya Ho Wa 13 and the Source Family. Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. Free. 7:30 pm.

Fri 7/10 MATTHEW C. WHITAKER This is a reading for an anthology of essays titled Hurricane Katrina: America’s Unnatural Disaster. Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. Free. 5:30 pm.

REBECCA WELLS The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder is the newest novel from the woman who inflicted the Ya-Ya Sisterhood on the world. Central Library, 1000 Fourth Ave, 386-4636. Free.

7 pm.

STACEY LYNN BROWN, ARIAN MATEJKA Cradle Song and Mixology are “informed by the incongruities of race, racism, bigotry, prejudice, and love.” Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. Free. 7:30 pm.

Sat 7/11 MATTHEW AMSTERBURTON Why do children only want to eat macaroni and cheese until they turn 32? The author of Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father’s Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater will be signing his book.

University District Farmers Market, 4519 1/2 University Wy NE #202, 634-3400. Free.

10 am.

BRENDA BRYAN The author of Barking Buddha “discusses the benefits of practicing yoga and meditation with your dog.” The press release continues: “Do not bring your dog.” Seattle Public Library, Queen Anne Branch, 400 W Garfield St, 386-4227. Free.

3 pm. ★ SEATTLE NOIR VS. PORTLAND NOIR Editors of collections of mysteries set in Seattle and Portland will try to determine which city is better. The winner will be determined by knife fight.

Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600.

Free. 7:30 pm.

July 9, 2009

Are You

HEATHER BARBIERI A woman visits Ireland to recover from some sort of loss in The Lacemakers of Glenmara. Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. Free. 7:30 pm.

★ REBECCA BROWN American Romances is a collection of essays by the hypersmart local author. This is clearly the best book event of the week, although I should add that Brown is a Stranger Genius Award winner and one of the essays in this book appeared in The Stranger recently in highly abbreviated form. Bailey/Coy Books, 414 Broadway E, 3238842. Free. 7 pm.

THE STRANGER

DAVID B. WILLIAMS It’s time to read rocks as though they were books with the author of Stories in Stone: Travels Through Urban Geology, which is a book and not a rock. Seattle Public Library, Northgate Branch, 10548 Fifth Ave NE, 634-3400. Free.

6:30 pm. ★ MARK CARO This interview with the author of The Foie Gras Wars: How a 5,000-Year-Old Delicacy Inspired the World’s Fiercest Food Fight will be accompanied by wine and dinner. It’s unclear if foie gras will be served or not. Pan Pacific Hotel, 2125 Terry Ave, $45.

632-2419. 6:30 pm. ★ NALO HOPKINSON Th e N e w M o o n ’ s A r m s explores race, gender, and the Caribbean. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

CECELIA HAE-JIN LEE The author of Quick & Easy Korean Cooking will teach you how to make Korean food, which is often underrated.

Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600.

Free. 7:30 pm.

Wed 7/15 JONATHAN MELBER Art/Work: Everything You Need to Know (and Do) As You Pursue Your Art Career is a book that probably already needs a heavy revision due to the current economic crisis.

Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600.

Free. 6:30 pm.

CAITLIN KITTREDGE, KEVIN RADTHORNE Kittredge is the author of a novel called Street Magic, which is not about David Blaine. Radthorne’s The Pool of Shikama, Part 1 & Part 2 involves “the future of the Tonogato realm.” University Book Store, 4326 University Way N E, 634-3400. Free.

7 pm.

Open Mic LITTLE RED STUDIO OPEN MIC Everyone gets five minutes on an open mic in “a very relaxed supportive atmosphere” at Little Red Studio, 400 Dexter Ave N, 328-4758.

Free. 6:30 pm. OPEN MIC Open mic night at The Chai House, 5463 Leary Ave, NW, 784-5415. Free. 7:30 pm. POETSWEST Featured readers and an open mic at Seattle Public Library, Green Lake Branch, 7364 E Green Lake Drive N, 3864630. Free. 4 pm. TAKE A POEM INTO YOUR HEART An open mic with featured readers at Ugly Mug, 11425 Rainier Ave S, 772-3751.

Free. Second Friday, Sat at 7 pm.

★ MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. SEND PRESS RELEASES TO:

readings@thestranger.com

Reviews and book news you can use at

theStranger.com/books

LittleRedStudioSeattle.com

te’s Plunder Pira

www. piratesplunder .com

1301 Alaskan Way 206-624-5673

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23

24

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

VISUAL ART Darling has taken this backward-facing but it is an irresistible proto-Op eyepopper, too. Arman’s expended paint tubes are sad- trope as the theme of this entire room: Johns’s funny little after-erections. Richard Pettibone gray backward canvas mounted on a forwardprovides a detailed forensic report on a tube facing canvas, which is almost enough of a of yellow cadmium paint run over by a train. vortex to suck in even the brightness of this Brazilian artist Lygia Pape’s video of smiling room; Roy Lichtenstein’s benday-dot paintchildren sticking their heads through a giant ing of the backs of two paintings; Arte Povera canvas with holes in it on a sunny day is simply artist Giulio Paolini’s three backward-turned B Y J E N G R AV E S exuberant. Like Yayoi Kusama’s intense 1967 canvases nesting inside one another (like a video Self-Obliteration (which makes Carolee reverse version of Johns’s stacked American f the subject will talk, there’s no need for torture—it’s when Schneeman’s Meat Joy look like a schoolgirl flags); and a marvelous Pettibone the size of your palm—a tiny photothe subject won’t yield that torture begins. Somewhere after frolic), Pape’s video is a little realistic painting of a painting bit of a stretch for the exhibiWorld War II, painting stopped talking, or at least talking sense. tion’s theme, but you barely Niki de Saint sitting on a floor and leaning against a wall, hiding its face, It still made noise, but even the artists didn’t and Japanese artist Shozo Shimamoto. The notice because it’s so good to Phalle walks on called Andy Warhol, “Flowpretend to know what it was saying: Jackson two artists were working without knowledge see it. in skirt and heels, ers,” 1964 (rear view) made in One of the classics of antiPollock’s storms of drips expressed expres- of each other, but both were tearing apart 1974. This is a great, distilling sion, which is like yelling that you’re yelling. in a last-ditch attempt to create anew after painting is John Baldessari’s and takes out a room.

Painting was trapped, the terrible decade of the 1940s. Shimamoto giant text painting (one in a Target Practice rifle, a handgun, In other rooms, the staging and what happened leaves raw, unsuturable, bomb-sized holes in series), made by a sign paintSeattle Art Museum is not as wonderful: The first next was an extend- his skinlike painted surfaces; Fontana leaves er, coyly instructing viewers and a cannon.

Through Sept 7 two galleries feel crowded and ed, exquisite torture something more cosmic, creating punc- about how to look at a paintawkward; the last few, plodscene—the torture of painting by a mob of tures and cuts that provide a patterned view ing. (“Ask yourself questions muscular young artists between roughly 1950 through the two-dimensional surface. In four when standing in front of a well composed ding. By the end, at Warhol’s sidelined Oxiphotographs by Ugo Mulas, Fontana takes picture,” it suggests.) It hangs across from dation (piss) Painting and Lynda Benglis’s and 1980—that forced painting to talk again.

On the fourth floor of the Seattle Art to the canvas with the weapon he eventually one of curator Darling’s great finds: a paint- poured-paint piece (did it have to be mounted Museum this summer is a tantalizing re- preferred, the X-Acto knife, acting as an ex- ing that Canadian conceptualist Iain Baxter on a pedestal rather than lying on the floor?), enactment of the stabbing, the cutting, the istential warrior. War and its aftermath are made in 1962, when he was a student in paint- the exhibition has run out of energy.

So much is covered—after an apotheosis of pissing on, the burying alive, the burning, referenced also in the sad-sack burlap work ing at Washington State University. Numthe beating, the shooting, the running over by Italian abstractionist Alberto Burri, from bers strewn across the surface reference a physicality in a small, almost unbelievably rich by locomotive, the dunce-capping, the eras- SAM’s collection, and in Austrian artist (and list of painterly terms along the side of the Robert Rauschenberg “combine” (a paintinging, the stomping on, and the mockery that certified weirdo) Otto Muehl’s destruction of painting, including “Main Area of Interest,” sculpture combination) from 1954, the matepainting endured at the hands of artists in a sackcloth canvas, which resembles feces in “Blending,” “Foreground,” “Background,” rial of paint itself disappears in conceptual Europe, Asia, North America, and South a straitjacket. Photographs of the Japanese “Mistake.” (The numbering technique brings works by Lawrence Weiner, Joseph Kosuth, America. Target Practice: Painting Under and Daniel Buren—it’s inevitable that some Attack 1949–78 is an exhibition of 82 artthings will be left behind. One unfortunately works and photo documentations mostly on undeveloped larger theme is feminism. While loan from museums, collectors, and foundaBruce Nauman’s well-traveled four-channel tions around the world, but also shrewdly video of himself applying paint to his body mobilizing SAM’s permanent collection in a gets prime placement in the exhibition, prostrategic play to build up its holdings in postjected at enormous size, feminist artists exwar antiheroism. ploring the same terrain more pointedly— If the installation feels oddly both formuSuzy Lake, for instance, applying makeup laic and scattershot in parts, the selection of as if it were oil paint both to her face and to works, by SAM’s modern and contemporary the surface of her photographic prints—are curator Michael Darling, is creative and enabsent. (There is one reference to the femiergetic. Darling is not restating a canon, he’s nist association of paint and blood: George refining it, bringing together artists from Maciunas’s photo documentation of Shigeko several continents and pairing lesser-knowns Kubota’s 1965 painting made by squatting with household names. The arch sensibility over a surface with a loaded brush attached of Pop, the communalism and performance to her underwear is here.) More subtly femiof Brazilian art of the period, the sunny Calinistic works by Howardena Pindell and Karen fornia renegades, the anarchic Viennese AcCarson feel stranded. tionists, Japanese postatomic hysteria and But other historical chapters are clarified despair, the quotational impulse of the prein Target Painting. For instance, the Gutai Pictures generation, hippie-style madness, group, often associated with abstract expresthe chilly conceptualists, the early feminists, sionism, fits here instead, on the flip side of highly codified and organized German pain— ab-ex, in the midst of fragility, abjection, and all these come together in a grouping that’s I WISH YOU COULD SEE HOW RED THIS IS Shozo Shimamoto throws paint, 1961. critique. different from the classic (and overly cereFragility, abjection, and critique: They bral) New York–centric story of minimalism- Gutai artists punching canvases with paint- to mind Warhol’s paint-by-numbers works turn out to be a winning and convincing and-after. This version of the story is deliber- loaded gloves and furiously throwing glass from the period, which are not included in combination at this vulnerable American mobottles of paint at canvases are over-the-top, the exhibition.) ately visceral. ment. SAM and Darling have taken the oldThe introduction to the exhibition is a yes, but also bursting with agony. They make The gallery that contains the Baldes- est story in modern art—the death rattle of Jasper Johns target painting lined up in the American Pollock’s gestures at the canvas sari and the Baxter is the glowing, prismatic painting—and interrogated it anew. In the front of the elevator on the far wall of the look academic. heart of the show, the place where painting process they’ve revealed hidden segments Not everything is so serious. Not at all. A most powerfully reasserts itself under du- and twists in the root system that feeds toopening gallery, but it’s the wrong introduction: too dry. The real welcome to the show found thrift-store painting of a tree turned on ress. A multicolored fluorescent square—an day’s painters. They’ve also presented works should be the nearby video of the young its side and given cartoonish facial features by empty-centered “painting” by Dan Flavin— from the collection—by Johns, RauschenFrench artist Niki de Saint Phalle walking Asger Jorn, the Danish-born member of the bleeds red, yellow, and green toward a giant berg, Jim Dine, Ed Ruscha, Richard Tuttle, on screen in skirt and heels, setting down a Parisian situationists, is pure slapstick. Yoko wall slathered with juicy, layered paint in all Burri, and Neil Jenney—in important conpurse, and taking out of it a rifle, a handgun, Ono’s Painting to Be Stepped On (a scrap of colors by the California artist Richard Jack- text. Trustees, collectors, and donors: I hope and a cannon. She’s an expert in painting canvas lying on the gallery floor—when I was son, who has re-created an earlier work here you’re paying attention to the pitch implicit S&M. She loads the plaster-packed canvases there, it had not only footprints but wheel- and retitled it SAM. Jackson’s work is made in Target Practice. SAM and Darling have with bags of liquid paint, and they explode chair tracks on it) and Painting to Hammer by applying paint thickly to canvases, then proven they care astutely for the postwar as she shoots. a Nail (a canvas on the wall, a hammer, a turning the canvases toward the wall and collection; gifts are in order. ■ De Saint Phalle made her shooting paint- box of nails, and permission to do it) have a smearing the paint onto the wall in (Johnsiings in the early 1960s, more than a decade dark side, but they’re also just amusing. Ger- an) arcs, finally leaving the backward-facing More, more, MORE art at after the earliest pieces in the show—torn and man artist Guenther Uecker’s storm of nails canvases hanging in the midst of the glorious, stabbed works by Italian artist Lucio Fontana hammered into a board has dark overtones, swooping goop.

Exquisite Pain

The Torture of Painting After World War II at SAM

I

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F E AT U R E

VISUAL ART CALENDAR Museums ★ BELLEVUE ARTS MUSEUM ÜberPortrait: Eleven artists redefine the portrait. Free.

Mon-Sun. Through Oct 18.

510 Bellevue Way NE, 425519-0770. ★ FRYE ART MUSEUM The Puppet Show is a sprawling, sparkling, disturbing display of leading contemporary artists from around the world considering the question of who’s pulling whose strings. Free.

Tues-Sun. Through Sept 13.

704 Terry Ave, 622-9250. ★ HENRY ART GALLERY 2062: Ann Lislegaard’s digital animations based on seminal works of science fiction make you spin a little. $10. Tues-Sun. Through Aug 23. 4100 15th Ave NE, 543-2280. ★ MUSEUM OF HISTORY AND INDUSTRY The Arts and Crafts Movement in the Pacific Northwest: Washington and Oregon were instrumental in the development of the early 20th-century movement. $8. Mon-Sun. Through Jan 18. 2700 24th Ave E, 324-1126.

NORTHWEST AFRICAN AMERICAN MUSEUM Stories That Cover Us: Quilts from the women of the Pacific Northwest African American Quilters. $6. Wed-Sun. Through Oct 4. 2300 S Massachusetts St, 518-6000. ★ SEATTLE ART MUSEUM Target Practice: Painting Under Attack 1949-78: See review on page 24. Through Sept 7. Corin Hewitt’s body of photographs grown/built in a performance.

Through Oct 18. A small retrospective of the recently dead artist Andrew Wyeth’s paintings. Through Oct 18.

Gwendolyn Knight and Jacob Lawrence Fellowship winner Titus Kaphar’s cut-up histories.

Through Sept 6. The autumnal film Young Americans by Mary Simpson and Fionn Meade, set in Seattle. Through Aug 31. $15 suggested. Tues-Sun. 1300 First Ave, 625-8900.

SEATTLE ASIAN ART MUSEUM Chinese Art: A Seattle Perspective is a survey of Chinese art and a chronicle of how the museum built its collection. Ongoing. $5 suggested. Tues-Sun. 1400 E Prospect St, 654-3100.

TACOMA ART MUSEUM 2009 Neddy Artist Fellowship: Including work by Timothy Cross, Eric Elliott, Gary Faigin, and Lynda Lowe. $7.50. TuesSun. Through Oct 4. 1701 Pacific Ave, 253-272-4258. ★ WING LUKE ASIAN MUSEUM Parallel Lines: Eight Contemporary Seattle Artists: Mark Takamichi Miller, Joe Park, Tram Bui, Patti Warashina, Akio Takamori, and others. $8. TuesSun. Through Nov 29. 407 Seventh Ave S, 623-5124.

Gallery Openings ★ FORM/SPACE ATELIER The House of Orange: Joe Reno, a longtime presence in the Seattle art scene, shows new painting and sculpture.

Free. Thurs-Sat. Through Aug 9.

2407 First Ave, 208-9843. ★ FRANCINE SEDERS GALLERY Quar tet: Bradd Skubinna makes large sculptures from found materials. Upstairs, new work by Alison Keogh and Margaret Watson. Free.

Reception Sun July 12, 2-4 pm. Tues-Sun. Through Aug 23. 6701 Greenwood Ave N, 782-0355. ★ OPEN SATELLITE I Am from Bellevue: Seattle artist/provocateur Greg Lundgren visited the homes of friends and relatives in Bellevue, collecting suburban miscellanea. He assembles the artifacts into an installation that’s “part anthropology and part performance.” Free. Tues-Sat. Through Aug 1. 989 112 Ave NE Ste 102, 425-454-7355. ★ SEATTLE UNIVERSITY LEE CENTER FOR THE ARTS (((sparks))): The inimitable TM Sisters, an art duo from Miami, present video installations, interactive “dance pads,” and an opening performance. Free.

Reception and performance

SUGGESTS

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Thurs July 9, 7-10 pm. WedSat. Through Oct 3. 901 12th Ave, 296-2244.

TWILIGHT ARTIST COLLECTIVE The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: More than 35 artists from Halogen, Bherd Studios, and Twilight Artist Collective. Free.

Reception Thurs July 9, 6-9 pm.

Mon-Sun. Through Aug 7. 4603 SW Alaska. ★ VERMILLION Do You See Me?: Troy Gua turns away from pop imagery in new work inspired by online social networks. Free.

Reception Thurs July 9, 6-8 pm. Tues-Sun. Through Aug 2.

1508 11th Ave, 709-9797.

★ AMBACH AND RICE GALLERY Naughty Teens/Garbanzo Beans: Eric Yahnker makes glowing, large-scale graphite drawings of things like a little girl reading Sartre and a finger in a stick of a butter.

Free. Tues-Sun. Through Aug 9. 5107 Ballard Ave NW, 789-6242. ★ CRAWL SPACE GALLERY Liquid Crystal: Derek Larson’s multimedia installation was “made from scratch during seven days and nights of confinement on the Crawl Space grounds.” Free. Mon-Sun. Through July 12. 504 E Denny Way, #1, 201-2441. ★ GREG KUCERA GALLERY Women Are Beautiful: Alice Wheeler specializes in women.

This new show of her photographs and a video, titled after Garry Winogrand’s series of the same name, explores the creation of female personae. Free.

Tues-Sat. Through Aug 15. 212 Third Ave S, 624-0770. ★ GREY GALLERY This Bike Deserves a Painting: Brad Biancardi’s paintings, using nothing more than color and line, bend pictorial space like you wouldn’t believe. Free.

Tues-Sat. Through Aug 8. 1512 11th Avenue, 325-5209. ★ JAMES HARRIS GALLERY Waterwegen: Adam Sorensen’s landscapes synthesize the neon hyperactivity of Japanese anime and the conservative majesty of the Hudson River School. Free.

Tues-Sat. Through July 11. 312 Second Ave S, 903-6220.

FILM

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Events MADNESS AND ROMANTICISM Art historian Rebecca Albiani lectures on the decline of the Age of Reason and the rise of the deranged. Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave, 6229250. Free. 7 pm. ★ GEORGETOWN SECOND SATURDAY ART ATTACK The monthly celebration.

Georgetown. Free.

★ MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT. SEND PRESS RELEASES TO:

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★ PLATFORM GALLERY Rapture of the Deep: Stephen Hilyard’s huge images of spelunkers and mountaineers. Free.

Wed-Sat. Through July 31. 114 Third Ave S, 323-2808.

★ WILLIAM TRAVER GALLERY Flowers: In her 13th solo exhibition with the gallery, indomitable concretist Merrill Wagner shows painted steel and stone sculptures. Also up is The Poetry of Memory: new constructions by the miniature narrativist Rick Araluce. Free.

Mon-Sun. Through Aug 2. 110 Union St #200, 587-6501.

July 9, 2009

2205 nw market street :: 206.788.0330

★ LAWRIMORE PROJECT phot(o)bjects: This brainy group show circulated by Presentation House in Vancouver, B.C., is not to be missed. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Aug 1. 831 Airport Way S, 501-1231.

★ SUYAMA SPACE Raumgreifend: Andreas Bee’s wood and paper installation.

Free. Mon-Fri. Through Aug 14. 2324 Second Ave, 2560809.

THE STRANGER

Saturday July 11th 11-9pm Come party with us!

Continuing Exhibitions ★ 911 MEDIA ARTS CENTER Strange Things is a yearly juried exhibition by the Seattle chapter of Dorkbot, the artist, student, and scientist collective. This year’s edition is about “emergent communication”: artworks that communicate with one another in weird ways. Free.

Tues-Sat. Through July 24. 402 Ninth Ave N, 682-6552.

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26

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

CHOW BAR EXAM

Pig Out

BY BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT

Chasing Down Seattle’s New Pork-on-Wheels Mobiles CHECKING OUT THE LOOKOUT The intersection of Bellevue, Bellevue, and Bellevue lives up to its triple French namesake with a view so belle, you can hardly stand it. It’s a Capitol Hill favorite for fireworks-watching, so it’s a safe bet that the Lookout—the new bar incarnation of what was the restaurant Artemis— was full to bursting with thirsty patriots on Independence Day. As far as the view goes, only those at tables in the Lookout’s back windows and on the smallish back deck get to partake of the sunset, the Space Needle, and any ambient explosions. When it gets full out there, it’ll be tempting to hop the fence into the neighboring area, which looks like a garden tended by an obsessivecompulsive (it’s the plant-and-tree holding pen for the landscape architects next door). The massive new Italianate Bellagio condominium is the vista to the south; Lookout owner Oscar Velasco-Schmitz said by phone that no noise complaints have been reported so far, which he attributes to triple-glazed windows and the ambient rush of the freeway. All things considered, it’s a sweet spot for a summer evening—a couple giant maples make a canopy overhead, and people stand by the railing and smile for photos with the city behind them.

Inside, a few booths have been added in the front, but the differences from the days of Artemis are not dramatic. Graffiti-ish murals make a bid for urban hipness, depicting ocean-borne bottles and, across the room, a bearded, plaid-shirt-and-newsboy-capwearing man peering through a telescope (maybe looking for a fresh style). Overhead, there are new light fixtures: the butt-ends of wine bottles, stuffed with lengths of Christmas lights, protruding from lowered panels.

The effect is club-contemporary at a glance, do-it-yourself upon further inspection, and quite a contrast with the faux-Tiffany lamp shades that remain over the bar. Other Lookout innovations include a Frankenstein pinball machine, one of those jukeboxes that conjures any pop song known to humankind out of the ether at the touch of a finger, and a flat screen over the bar (playing Starship Troopers with subtitles; if you thought Starship Troopers was stupid, try reading it).

Drinks do not ascend to the level of craft cocktails, but nor do their prices: A pint-sized jalapeño margarita, made with muddled lime and orange and a handful of sliced peppers, is $7; a gin and juice, $6. Opening weekend featured a Malibu Rum promotion with the Malibu Rum girls, which Velasco-Schmitz said went well. Depending on your predilections, you may get excited or be warned: More such events are planned. Velasco-Schmitz was receptive to criticism about the $11 cheeseburger, a very flat, not very big, nonlocal, nonorganic patty served with nondescript steak fries; they’re still tinkering with the menu, he said. Q The Lookout, 757 Bellevue Ave E, 860-2752

BY DOMINIC HOLDEN

I

’d rather sit down to eat, honestly. I’m lazy like that. Taco trucks, hot-dog stands, and Dick’s are all special-occasion dining—a special occasion known as “I’m Wasted.” But on a perfectly sober afternoon, knowing that standing up to eat doesn’t mean putting up with gross meat, I tracked down Seattle’s two new pork-on-wheels mobiles.

Maximus Minimus is shaped like a pig.

Most days, for about one month, the trailer with a snout and silver ears has served lunch from a parking lot on Second Avenue and Pike Street. You give your order to a person in

jalapeño peppers, potatoes, and carrots.

Whereas this swine truck usually remains downtown, Marination Mobile jockeys about the city like a greased hog. It was in Fremont on this particular afternoon—a Twitter feed, /curb_cuisine, helps you keep track. While the truck specializes in Hawaiian-Korean hybrid cuisine, they do not serve their

TRUCKING Marination Mobile’s Kamala Saxton; road food;

Maximus Minimus’ giant pig. front who notes on a handheld device whether signature Spam sliders you want each item maximus (made with a in Fremont. “It’s just spicy sauce of Hefeweizen, peppers, and Lap- for Capitol Hill; they sang Souchong smoked tea) or minimus (with can handle it,” owner Kamala Saxton says. Taco-truck traditions, a sweet sauce of tamarind).

Because I am a pig, I get both the pork like corn tortillas, are given a generally elegant sandwich and the veggie version. And perhaps Korean bent, such as the kalbi beef tacos ($2), because the establishment itself is a pig— which taste like sweet bulgogi steak. Somemaking this a metapork experience—the pork times this fusion falls weird. The kimchi quesa(ordered maximus, $5.46) is a meal even the dilla ($5) is, quite honestly, one of the strangest sacrificial swine could be proud of. Proprietor things I’ve ever put in my mouth. I didn’t like Kurt Beecher Dammeier (a partner in Sugar it, but I didn’t dislike it. I ate the entire thing Mountain Group, the company responsible trying to figure out what my brain thought of for Beecher’s Handmade Cheese and Pasta & kalua pork (meaty!), cheddar (cheesy!), and Co) sees that the meat is cooked for four to six spiced and pickled cabbage (kimchi-y!) all haphours; then the fibers render into meat threads, pening at once. However, the aloha sliders, acting as a fine netting that suspends a faintly with thick ribbons of slow-cooked kalua pig and sliced picked jalapeños smoky barbecue sauce. A Marination Mobile on sweet rolls, are divine. crisp slaw (ordered miniwww.marinationmobile.com “In Hawaii, we roast the mus) of julienned cabbage, Maximus Minimus pork underground with tea shavings of fennel root, and bits of apple ($1.37) is on www.maximus-minimus.com, 601-5510 leaves and hot rocks, but the side. All of it—including a whole-wheat bun because of the health department, [here] we do that saturates with sauce yet magically holds it in the oven,” says Saxton, who lived on Oahu until 14 years ago. its shape—is delicious.

While the new wave of mobile food vendors But this truck is not shaped like a barley grain. If it were, the minimus veggie sandwich continues to build loyalty—both Maximus (also $5.46) might also be delicious. Instead, it is Minimus and Marination Mobile are serving like a barley sloppy joe—a goopy maroon mess hundreds of people a day—the obstacles reof sauce and floppy onions. The gesture of a fresh main daunting. City rules require that downcilantro leaf on top is inadequate relief from the town vendors park on private land (not on the starch of the bun, the starch of the grains, and street). Propane tanks quit working (which the cloying sauce that coats it all. The contents shut down Maximus Minimus the first day I slip from the bread into a pile in the cardboard tried to go). And persnickety neighbors cause boat. Despite my love of veggie sandwiches— problems. Marination Mobile was resonating and of each ingredient contained in this one— with the masses in Capitol Hill: Three nights a this is a gastronomic catastrophe. Verdict: Get week, for the truck’s first three weeks in operathe pork sandwich, and pity the vegetarians in tion, long lines piled up on Broadway and East your company. Also, get the fried chips: beets, Pike Street. “Forty percent of the Capitol Hill

customers are all regulars,” she says—more than the truck’s other parking spots in Ballard, Fremont, or Sodo. But then her landlord, the owner of the Shell station at Broadway and Pike, delivered a notice in late June. Residents and nearby business owners had complained that the truck “creates a large mass of people

and the smell of food in the area,” she says.

“When you have a large group of people gathering and eating outside, people think it is going to create a mess or a disturbance,” Saxton says. “That is just not the case with us.” She brings her own trash can, cleans up before leaving, and hauls out the garbage at the night’s end.

Despite having paid rent to park Thursdays through Saturdays three months in advance, Saxton is now being required by the landlord to gather signatures from every resident of the adjacent apartment building indicating agreement that the truck is not a disturbance.

(This is a building overlooking a 24-hour gas station, on the same block as the frequently raucous Comet Tavern with its corner hot-dog stand.) The Shell station’s owner could not be reached for comment about which businesses, exactly, have complained.

But before a truck even gets on the road or a cart gets on a corner, a Byzantine set of codes and regulations from the Washington Department of Labor & Industries and the local health department could prove insurmountable for upstart street vendors, says Saxton.

For example, certain rules for electricity and plumbing are provided in industry jargon, rendering the requirements indecipherable—even to Saxton and her business partner, Roz Edison, who hold three master’s degrees between them. “I’d say that L&I and the health department need to get in a room for a conversation about how to streamline the process,” Saxton says. Otherwise, “some of these great chefs and cooks can’t get their product to market.” Q Comment on these reviews at thestranger.com

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READER REVIEWS

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INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

Malay Satay Hut 212 12th Ave S, 324-4091 / $–$$ +++++ Reviewed by transplantsonamission

For those of us who like adventure but want to see what we’ll be eating, their menu has accurate and inviting pictures. The mood of the restaurant is surprisingly upscale, being that it’s located in a corner strip mall. You can feel the pride taken in their food. My boyfriend and I had the roti canai, which was (as everyone else has said) FREAKIN AWESOME. Get your own order—it’s only $3.50 and you won’t want to share. My boyfriend ordered the Malaysian Chinese Pork Chops—nice and tangy with a pleasant and building heat. I had the frog legs in ginger sauce, also great.

Avg. rating: +++++ (based on 6 reviews)

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July 9, 2009

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ONE BLOCK NORTH OF SAFECO 533 1ST AVE S • 206-628-0474 www.trianglepub.com

MADRONA

Madrona Eatery & Ale House 1138 34th Ave, 323-7807 / $$ +++++ Reviewed by John

Serving Seattle for over 20 years!

This place is amazing. Very comfortable, yet you get some decent food and your brats will be so happy to go they won’t torture you through your dinner. The staff is extremely helpful, friendly, and attractive. Food is wonderful, considering the low prices. I am going to make this our family dinner place.

Avg. rating: +++1/2 (based on 5 reviews)

Traditional Indian and Middle Eastern fare

CENTRAL DISTRICT

Moonlight Cafe 1919 S Jackson St, 322-3378 / $ +++++ Reviewed by biju

Hands down, my favorite restaurant in Seattle. There are two menus (meat, nonmeat), so everyone is happy. It’s truly a vegetarian paradise—pages upon pages of tasty, delicious goodness. Their lemongrass “beef ” and General Tso’s “chicken” are amazing.

Very good pho as well. If you want to save a few bucks, hit them up at lunch because they have specials, which are under seven bucks.

Ridiculously cheap for generous portions (that include rice). Nice folks who run the place, too. Try it out if you haven’t.

Avg. rating: ++++1/2 (based on 3 reviews) BALLARD

Mike’s Chili Parlor 1447 NW Ballard Wy, 782-2808 / $ ++++ Reviewed by Foodlab

The chili here is no joke. It’s good and the toppings take it over the top. I had it as just chili, but one of my friends had it as their spaghetti topping and loved it. Good chili!

Avg. rating: +++1/2 (based on 3 reviews) CAPITOL HILL

Mirch Masala 213 Broadway E, 709-0111 / $–$$ +++++ Reviewed by NaFun

Mirch Masala has been a staple for my family since before they opened, as they

27

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July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

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also run Masala of India in Northgate. Before Mirch opened their doors on Broadway, we would trek to the frozen North for their weekend buffet, and now we only have to go a few blocks to Broadway. YAY! The Sunday buffet is still a regular day-after ritual for my clan, always accompanied by garlic naan, hot chai, and a cold mango lassi. I can’t rave enough about this place!

Avg. rating: ++++ (based on 12 reviews)

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Yes, most customers are douchebags on a weekend night, but if you like good food, well-priced drinks, and cute girls waiting on you, I recommend going on other nights of the week. The atmosphere is great. I have been going for years and have always had good service. It seems ever since the lawsuit between them and Peso’s, people have been talking shit online about both restaurants.

Don’t believe what you read, and just get to Ballard to check it out for yourself.

Avg. rating: +++ (based on 13 reviews)

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Sat. & Sun. 10am-2pm Full Breakfast Menu & $4 Drink Specials 206-547-1417 • 460 North 36th Street, In the heart of Fremont

“The Tin Table is a word-of-mouth wonder” -Seattle Metropolitan magazine Open Tue-Sun at 3pm Happy Hour 3-6pm & 11pm-1am Late Night Dining

915 E Pine • 2nd Floor Adjacent to the Century Ballroom

www.TheTinTable.com 206 320-8458

Description: A sweet and spiffy neighborhood gay bar on Capitol Hill.

Crowd-drawing wonderments: Nightly piano theatrics.

Oddities found at Martins: A magical fireplace that contorts its flame into a flickering corkscrew.

Other fire-based oddities not available at Martins but found elsewhere in the universe: The mind-blowing flame of a candle in zero gravity, which is a uniform faint blue color and holds the shape of a sphere.

(Imagine the wick as being encased by a ghostly blue Afro.)

Happy hours: Sat–Sun 9 am–6 pm, Mon–Fri 11 am–6 pm, Sun–Thurs 11 pm– close (drinks); Sun–Thurs 11 pm–close, Mon–Thurs 4–6 pm (food).

Happy-hour drink specials: $2.50 well drinks, $3 microbrews (Kilt Lifter, Stella Artois).

Happy-hour food specials: Depending on the time and day, either 20 percent off sandwiches and appetizers or half off appetizers under $10 ($4 popcorn chicken, $4.50 pulled-pork quesadilla). MARTI JONJAK

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PHINNEY

Mae’s Phinney Ridge Cafe 6412 Phinney Ave N, 782-1222 / $ +++++ Reviewed by Mmmm…

Mae’s is great. Sure you wait around for a long time and sometimes the service is a little slow, but the coffee is roasted on-site, the biscuits remind me of home ec class, and the portions are huge and varied. Their hash browns are reliably crispy, everything is reasonably priced, and when in doubt, you can just order the Shake ’n’ Eggs and get the best of both worlds: brunch AND dessert.

Avg. rating: +++ (based on 8 reviews)

50% OPEN FOR LUNCH!

17” Pizzas, Calzones, House Salads & Fountain Sodas

TUES-SUN 11:30AM-3PM

1401 E. MADISON ST. www.piecoras.com

SEATTLE’S NO KA OI GRINDS!

206-322-9411

A happy hour of Hawaiian and sushi classics in a hip island atmosphere

From 8:00pm to Closing.

Good only on MONDAY for Dine-In and Pick-Up ONLY ONLY..

No Delivery on this deal. *One coupon per person. **Two of each item maximum.

HAPPY HOUR

DOWNTOWN

Mad Oven BBQ

MON & Tues ALL NIGHT WED & THURS & FRI 5PM-7PM WED & THURS & SUN 9PM-11:30PM $3.00 SELECTION OF PUPUS & SUSHI $3.00 SAKE AND SELECT DRAFTS $4.00 BLUE HAWAIIANS

213 Marion St, 625-0375 / $ +++++ Reviewed by BBQ Fan

This place is awesome! First of all, the meat is so lean. He skims all of the meat really well so you actually get a huge pile of meat, not fat. Definitely healthier and tastier. Also, his sauce is so flavorful. You can taste the spices that they use in the sauce, too (not in a burn-your-mouth-off way, although they do have different degrees of hot sauce). The food is cheap—six-dollar sandwiches (including tax) and you get almost a pound of meat. Homemade sides (potato salad, pasta salad, etc.) are all awesome, and occasionally they have corn muffins. They also have a pretty good canned-drink selection (I know, cheesy, but essential for barbecue).

Avg. rating: +++ (based on 2 reviews) BALLARD

Maharaja 105 First Ave S, 628-0200 / $ 720 E Pike St, 320-0334 / $ +++++ Reviewed by Enigma

Near the Center of the Universe at the Corner of 35th. and Stone Way N. 206-547-2967

1

I love the pizza at Madame K’s, dare I even say it’s my favorite? Sometimes the wait is kind of long, but it is a popular joint. We usually just grab a drink at the bar—the staff is pretty entertaining to watch. I’ve had quite a few of the pizzas on the menu, but my fave is the Go Go Chick… delicious when dipped in balsamic vinegar. And the cookie-and-icecream dessert is almost orgasmic.

Avg. rating: +++ (based on 8 reviews) DOWNTOWN/CAPITOL HILL

WITH SEATTLE’S BEST DJ’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT LIVE ISLAND MUSIC SUNDAY NIGHT KARAOKE

Pacific Inn Pub

Madame K’s Pizza Bistro 5327 Ballard Ave NW, 783-9710 / $$ +++++ Reviewed by D

MUSIC EVERY NIGHT

Watch All MLB Games Here!

Seattle’s Best Fish & Chips

I’ve been going to Maharaja for years, and I’ve never been disappointed. Being a vegetarian, I love their large selection of meatless dishes. But my favorite is the Malai Kofta. Yummy little veggie balls in yummy sauce.

Also, if you feel like splurging on an appetizer, try the Paneer Pakora. Is there anything better in the world than fried cheese?

Avg. rating: ++++1/2 (based on 5 reviews) WALLINGFORD

Musashi’s 1400 N 45th St, 633-0212 / $ +++ Reviewed by skykomishsunrise

If you like cheap and mountains of sushi, then this is your place. The wait at Musashi’s is basically ridiculous. The food’s good, but probably not good enough for the wait you’ll have to endure. I’ve done takeout, which was much better. One final note: Don’t try to eat the tobiko pieces in one bite, unless you want to spew flying fish roe all over yourself…

Avg. rating: +++ (based on 1 review)

Gourmet Pizza & Pasta

Happy Hour Special

25% OFF

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2pm-6pm & 11pm-3am • Pick-up OR Delivery

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30

July 9, 2009

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31

MUSIC

PORTABLE SHRINES Psychedelic multimediators.

in the effects of music that’s mediated by technology. Feedback and distortion and delay, things that draw things out over time—you can manipulate sound in ways that are impossible to do acoustically. The ’60s were fueled by a lot of counterculture activity, including drugs and a renewed interest in spirituality in the West. But the heart that drives that music is that sort of experimental edge to it.

As Darlene and Aubrey were saying, that can apply to metal, to jazz, to experimental drone music. Psychedelic is more about the way the elements are used, the way that they’re put together. The stylistic content of the music is more of a vehicle for the message.”

Pothast notes that a lot of ancient music that involves communal drumming and chanting can possess “consciousness-elevating properties” to rival anything by Hendrix or Hovercraft.

“Psychedelic music is… a unifying vibrational field that is being manipulated willfully. The musical experience occasions a mass transformation of consciousness.”

To that end, Portable Shrines emphasizes light shows and video at its events (often created by Golightly), with Nehring and Nordyke KELLY O also providing the soundtrack between bands.

They strive to create an immersive environment that will surfeit your senses. “That’s part of why I’m into this music—because it melds all of my interests in a more cohesive way than any of the other stuff around,” Nehring states.

Just as experimental/noise had Wooden Octopus Skull, jazz has Earshot, post-rock has Cumulus, and electronic music has Decibel, our psych-rock scene could benefit from its own ambitious festival. Thankfully, Escalaare so many amazing bands in the past few tor looks poised to rise to the occasion. years. It’s been blowing my mind. So that’s Nordyke says they’ve confirmed Treetapart of why we’re doing this. rantula, Lumerians, Wooden Shjips, Eternal “A year ago, I didn’t feel like there was Tapestry, Midday Veil, Le Sang Song, and anything going on [in Seattle],” he continues. Backward Masks. They’re hoping to snag “And now there are tons of amazing bands. some Portland bands. (May I suggest Grails, It’s a very young scene.”

White Rainbow, Valet, and Plants?) As PorNehring’s right. Seattle’s recent past has table Shrines is trying to run this fest withproduced some excellent psych-rock purveyors out corporate sponsorship, it’s mostly rely(Jessamine, Love Battery, early Kinski), but ing on West Coast artists who don’t demand grunge, garage punk, and indie pop perpetual- large guarantees. ly seemed to overshadow the head-music scene Conventional wisdom pertaining to psyhere. After a slight lull earlier this decade, Seat- chedelic music says that it’s all about getting tle’s psychedelicists are resurging and assum- out of your “normal” mind state; that’s true, ing myriad forms. to a degree. But From stoner rock the doors of perto eclectic ethnode- “A year ago, I didn’t feel like there ception can be lia to drone to freak without was anything going on [in Seattle], unhinged folk to avant-garde ingesting heroic noise sculpture to and now there are tons of amazing dosages of halluanalog-synth abbands. It’s a very young scene.” cinogens or actstractions to the ing like a fool or sort of rarefied sonpsycho. “Portable ic exploration that eludes classification, many Shrines events aren’t known as being terribly of the city’s most adventurous musicians are raucous,” Pothast notes. “They could be and seeking and attaining altered states. Portable they’re not. It’s a good, healthy scene for a Shrines’ presence offers a platform from which good time that isn’t about personal drama. By these kindred spirits can exchange ideas, share not becoming a complete fuck-up, you become a better ambassador for your cause. That’s bills, and possibly collaborate.

Some of the artists Portable Shrines cham- how you convert people. ‘Why are you so happions include Master Musicians of Bukkake, py? What’s your secret?’ ‘Psychedelic music,’” Idle Times, A F C G T, Treetarantula, Geist she says with a laugh.

“One of the guys in the Misunderstood, a & the Sacred Ensemble, Forrest Friends, Night Beats, and Midday Veil. The last-named great unknown ’60s psych band [who were] band’s Emily Pothast and David Golightly are way ahead of their time, said, when asked why key Portable Shrines accomplices. In addition they changed their sound from blues to psyto singing and playing guitar for Midday Veil chedelic, ‘The blues was a problem, but psyand Quietus III, Pothast is a visual artist who chedelic is the answer.’” ■ possesses deep knowledge about art, culture theory, psychology, and religion.

More show reviews and “Psychedelic isn’t really a kind of music; breaking music news at it’s a descriptor that can be applied to all kinds of music,” Pothast postulates. “I’m interested

Psyching Up Seattle

Portable Shrines Alters the Local Soundscape B Y D AV E S E G A L

A

fter witnessing Wooden Shjips’ awesome concert at the Comet in April, local musician/author John Gillanders of the band Black Science e-mailed promoters Aubrey Nehring and Darlene Nordyke to gush: “I was actually prac- gether. They wouldn’t go to each other’s shows, ticing some magick rituals during their set and because they didn’t know they existed.”

Obviously, Portable Shrines can’t lift the felt like I was kind of floating around the room and transforming my field of consciousness scene by itself. The members acknowledge crucial contributions from the Comet’s Maminto predesigned sigils. Great experience.”

That phenomenon has become more ma Casserole, the Funhouse’s Brian Foss, common in the last year thanks to Portable Rendezvous’s Adam Bass, Blue Moon’s Jason Josephes, and Dissonant Plane’s Shrines, a collective dedicated to Portable Shrines Eric Lanzillotta. fostering psychedelic multimePresents: Psychic Nehring (who speaks in very dia events in Seattle. Started last Ills, Indian Jewelry, calm, considered tones) and Noryear by Nehring and Nordyke, Backward Masks dyke (Shrines’ more extroverted Portable Shrines is shifting the Mon July 13, Funhouse, member) don’t consider themcity’s psych scene into a higher 9:30 pm, $7, 21+ selves promoters but rather “just gear—subliminally.

Tired of being among the few supporters folks” who want to turn people on to great at local psych-oriented gigs, Nehring and music. They consider themselves “woefully Nordyke decided, while at a poorly attended uncapitalistic” about the whole enterprise.

“Our role is mostly curatorial,” Nehring Mythical Beast/Nudity show at MarsBar, to stop bitching and start doing. They had also says. He and Nordyke basically book acts recently started Backward Masks, their own they like and spread the word via mouth, flygarage-psych band with Steve Wippich and ers at record shops, and the internet; so far, Mike Correa, so that further motivated them their gut instincts have proved to be impecto generate more energy and draw more cable. Besides Wooden Shjips, Shrines has heads to mind-expanding music. By forming brought superlative artists to town such as Portable Shrines, they proved they were se- Assemble Head in Sunburst Sound and Eterrious about catalyzing a movement that they nal Tapestry, with plans to host shows with knew had potential but that lacked leaders to Psychic Ills, Indian Jewelry, Magik Markers, Sic Alps, and Blues Control. Most imporput it into a coherent context.

“It seemed like a natural thing,” says Neh- tantly, the curatorial team will be hosting Esring about activating Shrines. “It wasn’t going calator, a two-day festival happening at Vera on in Seattle, but it could without that much Project and Lo-Fi Performance Gallery on effort. So we decided to give it a shove and see September 25 and 26.

“It seems strangely relevant to right now what happens.”

Nordyke chimes in: “One thing I’ve noticed for some reason,” Nehring observes. “The is that you get metal bands that crossed over bands [we like] are psychedelic, but they’re into psych, experimental and garage bands not on some retro-revival trip. It’s not a corny that would cross over into psych, but there was ‘let’s pretend it’s the ’60s’ kind of thing. What no cohesive psych scene. None of the people they’re doing is very much happening right knew each other, they wouldn’t do shows to- now. And it’s happening everywhere. There

theStranger.com/lineout

32

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

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July 9, 2009

the Ould Triangle

Best Irish Pub in town! own!

Fri. July 10

Ray’s Open Mic Showcase Sat. July 11

Spunk

Open mic weds. Trivia thurs.

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9736 Greenwood Ave N. 206-706-7798

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West Seattle, Über Alles

FEATURED: SEREL

SHENA LEE music photography

The West Seattle Summer Fest Isn’t That Far Away

shenalee.photography@gmail.com / shenalee.com

BY MEGAN SELING

A

HAPPY HOUR 4PM-7PM RESERVE THE Velvet Lounge

ccording to Mapquest, West Seattle Junction is exactly 6.83 miles from Broadway and Pine Street on Capitol Hill.

That’s 14 minutes by car. That’s one listen to the live version

of “Free Bird.” Yet, ask any Capitol Hill, Bal- tival, at least half the bands have ties to the lard, or even Belltown resident to go to West neighborhood, including Mudhoney, Super Seattle, and you may as well ask them to help Sonic Soul Pimps, We Are Golden, Pillow you dispose of a body.

Army, and Westerly.

But we can no longer let distance—menMudhoney may be the biggest name in tal or physical—keep us from enjoying West the lineup, but they’re not the only talent in Seattle’s treasures. For one, Sugar Rush the pool. Black Panties—featuring members on California Avenue has the of the Cops, the Presidents of West Seattle best cupcakes in the entire the United States of America, Summer Fest city. There’s a well-stocked and the Heavy Hearts—play Fri–Sun July 10–12, Easy Street Records, a movie quintessential rock and roll www.westseattlefestival.com, theater that charges just $5.50 about makin’ out and screamfree, all ages a ticket all day every day, and ing in authority’s face. Thee amazing views along Alki; and every sum- Sgt. Major III, featuring Kurt Bloch, demer it has one hell of a music and arts festi- liver super-sunny and sing-alongable pop val that has, in the past, pulled in such great anthems. local headliners as the Saturday Knights, And just as Fitzgerald notes, it’s a muMark Pickerel and his Praying Hands, and sic festival by and for the residents of West the Lonely Forest.

Seattle, which includes Mudhoney frontman This year, the West Seattle Summer Fest Mark Arm, who’s lived in the neighborhood will celebrate its 27th year with two stages of since 1993. “I haven’t attended a street fair music, hundreds of artists, food, an old-school in a long time,” Arm says. “Crafts in genvideo-game gallery, skate demos, a Rat City eral aren’t my thing. But for the last couple Rollergirls dunk tank, and more. years, the West Seattle Summer Fest has What makes West Seattle Summer Fest so been bringing in good bands.” Just a few of great is that it really does feel like a neigh- the artists he’s excited to see: Black Panties borhood celebration. (“They cover the Saints!”), Mark Pickerel, “It’s all about the community,” says fes- the Tripwires, Thee Sgt. Major III, Green tival director Oliver Little. “Everything we Pajamas, Capping Day, McTuff, and Tromplan is based on what West Seattle residents bone Cake. say they’d like to see. Our primary goal is to Also playing (and worth checking out): show off the neighborhood and get people out Derby, Team Gina, the Dimes, We Are Goldon the street together. Musicians and artists en (with Barrett Martin of the Screaming seem to dig this message and think of this as Trees and Sarah Rudinoff), Chris Ballew’s ‘their’ neighborhood festival. It’s pretty in- kid-friendly project Caspar Babypants, and credible how many Seattle musicians live in Super Sonic Soul Pimps, who headline Satthe West Seattle area and are willing to play urday night as part of the all-ages Saturday on the street.”

Night Street Dance, where the music goes Festival booker Jason Fitzgerald takes full until midnight. advantage of the musical talent residing on the Best of all, it’s all free. And to get there, other side of the city when curating the festival. you just have to be able to take a gorgeous “West Seattle affiliation is important to me,” 12-minute cruise on a water taxi, sit on a bus he says. “It seems like a lot of festivals— for an extra 15 minutes, or bike or drive yourespecially community festivals—just book self across a bridge. Then you’re rewarded whoever applies, whoever is the cheapest, or handsomely. With Mudhoney! And a Rat City friends of friends, and that makes for a dull Rollergirls dunk tank! And delicious cupfestival experience. I think it reflects poorly cakes! And the ability to say you got off the on the community in the long run. So I say no Hill for once in your goddamn life! to bad bands. I care about West Seattle and Meet you at the Junction. ■ Summer Fest and try my hardest to persuade good bands to play, even when other festivals Comment on this story at offer them more money.” For this year’s festhestranger.com

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July 9, 2009

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Heavy Mental A Journey into Cage’s Internal Hiphop Inferno

BY CHARLES MUDEDE

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of pop rap. He is the real deal for real, for or vice versa. And those who hate one of these real. He is not just rapping about being a two will invariably compare him to the Insane gangsta—nigga, he is a gangsta. Cage, the Clown Posse, the universal standard of bad Brooklyn-based rapper who got his start white hiphop. back in the mid ’90s, also has a story that is To bring an end to their common ground, told again and again. His story, Cage went to where Eminem Cage however, has nothing to do with would never go: the mental. Sex, w/Yak Ballz, Rudy and blazing guns and bullets, but with drugs, and gore play a small part the Rhetoric, Sadistik mental health. Cage apparently in Hell’s Winter and an even Mon July 13, Nectar, spent some time in a mental hossmaller part in Depart from Me, 8 pm, $12, all ages pital, consuming antipsychotic which opens, on “Nothing Left drugs and dealing with heavy, suicidal feel- to Say,” with Cage reciting (rather than rapings. This story has its value not in the gang- ping) poetry. Much of the energy on this alsta world of pop rap but in the cerebral world bum is spent describing his demons and his of indie or underground rap. complete lack of psychological balance. In The story of Cage’s struggle with mental one track, “Katie’s Song,” Cage sings that illness and abusive parents shaped the con- there is more to life than “being in a club tent and mood of his second full-length album, and getting drunk with one of us throwHell’s Winter, which was released in 2005 by ing up, and waking up like we’re in love.” his current label, Definitive Jux. However, his The distance between “Katie’s Song” and first full-length album, Movies for the Blind, the debauchery on Movies for the Blind is was shaped by hedonistic and self-destructive enormous. To compare Cage and Slim today drives. He rapped about lots of sex (“They try would be ridiculous. to kill me through my dick with these hos too Sadly, Cage’s journey into the labyrinth much”), lots of drugs (“Had a PCP overdose, of the self has also resulted in his increasing and I still smoke”), and lots of horror gore break with the essence of hiphop, which is the (“My whole career been a upstream kayak production of music from previously recorded through blood”). But those shocking images and themes did not capture or match the true spirit of the underground, which is more about the mental—be it the metaphysics of Scienz of Life, the futurism of Cannibal Ox, the surrealism of MF Doom, or the skills for skills’ sake (hiphop’s version of ‘‘l’art pour l’art’’) of Eyedea & Abilities.

To establish a place in the indie realm, Cage’s Hell’s Winter went into the depths of his mind, rapping about his father, drug addiction, his cruel stepfather, and his frequently beaten mother.

This is why the story of his hospitalization and TODD WESTPHAL treatments increased in CAGE In the labyrinth of self. value. He was not simply rapping about being mental, he was mental for music. Cage is abandoning that defining real, for real. His latest album, Depart from Me, element and turning more and more to the goes even further into the mazes of his self. production of music by instruments—the There is another good reason why Cage rock model. He is not the first to make this made the transition from shock rap to “heavy turn. Mos Def did it, as well as RJD2, and mental”—it gave him greater distinction (or K’naan, and so forth. When rappers want distance) from the massive shadow of Slim to try something new, they have the bad Shady. Rapping about drugs, sex, and gore habit of turning to something old—live inmade Cage sound too much like Eminem— struments. This, however, is a bad solution a rapper he accused of stealing his style and as it represents a step in the wrong directhemes back in 1997. Indeed, because both tion. Hiphop is ahead of rock, and so to do have working-class roots and because both something more than what hiphop already developed a successful way to rap without us- is means one must go further or deeper into ing black-American accents, inflections, and its essential mode of production. Hopefully, intonations, Cage and Eminem are constantly Cage will return to hiphop and look ahead, compared. And it seems to always come down and not behind, for inspiration. ■ to this: Those who support one tend to hate the other. There is no middle ground in this Comment on this story at matter. Either you love Cage and hate Slim thestranger.com

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BY ERIC GRANDY

DRINKING FOR THE KIDS I’ve never hosted anything much more formal than head lice, so it was with some trepidation that I agreed to host the opening night of the Vera Project’s “A Drink for the Kids” fundraising campaign—in which the 21-plus set can raise money for the imminently worthy all-ages venue simply by drinking selected beer and booze at various neighborhood bars—last Sunday at the Cha Cha. Fortunately, “hosting” mostly just meant showing up early, buying the appropriate drinks, and encouraging others to do the same. There was also an announcement made later on in the evening soliciting donations (something along the lines of “blurgh blurgh blurgh kids, blah blah blah give us your money”), and that was that.

The night also benefited yours truly, as I got to finally check out a couple bands I’d been meaning to see for a minute now: Unnatural Helpers and Telepathic Liberation Army.

Telepathic Liberation Army are a fourpiece made up of Lisa Orth (aka DJ Amateur Youth) on vocals, Michelle Nolan (ex–Chromatics, Shoplifting) on bass, Alice Wilder (ex–Diamond Cut Diamond) on guitar, and Stacy Peck on drums. Like their members’ previous bands, Telepathic Liberation Army churn out sharp, wiry, and dark post-punk marked by tense martial drumming, sinuous bass grooves, harsh flares and then spidery melodies of guitar, and vocals shouted and dubbed in echo.

(During their sound check, Nolan warmed up with the riff from “Beat It,” proving that even at a basement-bar punk show two weeks after the man’s death, you still can’t escape Michael Jackson.) To my ears, TLA sound a bit like Erase Errata, which I mean as an unequivocal and enthusiastic compliment. It’s nice to see Seattle generating some smart punk rock able to split the difference between righteous aggression and dance friendliness while retaining some sense of style and smarts. More of this, less bluesy metal boogie and beardo backwoods folksy bullshit, please.

If you are gonna feel the blues and inject your rock with a little rudimentary boogie, though, you could do a hell of a lot worse than Unnatural Helpers.

The band is led by singer/drummer Dean Whitmore and features Brian Standeford (ex–Catheters, Tall Birds) on guitar and Kimberly Morrison (the Dutchess and the Duke) on bass; sometimes Charles Leo Gebhardt IV joins them as well, but not this night. The Helpers’ brand of garage-y rock and roll is more straightforward than TLA’s, but they steamroll ahead (and swagger side to side) with an energy that’s as undeniably catchy as it is concise (most of their songs clock in at under two minutes). “This is about as close as we’ve come to playing an all-ages show,” quipped Morrison between songs, and indeed, theirs is a sound that practically demands a little (preferably philanthropic) drinking for proper enjoyment. The band recently signed to the reliably awesome and always busy local label Hardly Art, so expect to be hearing plenty more from them in the future.

A Drink for the Kids continues this Thursday at Linda’s, Friday at Solo Bar and the Funhouse, and culminates Saturday at Neumos with a show from Fleet Foxes’ Robin Pecknold and Throw Me the Statue. ■

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“Better on the Other Side (Tribute to MJ)” by the Game ft. Chris Brown, Diddy, Polow Da Don, Mario Winans, Usher, Boyz II Men (MP3) “This the type of song that make the angels cry”—you know, guys, I’m actually going to dispute this one. “You were the one that made us all realize that we are the world”—must you? “Somebody tell Usher/I seen the moonwalk/I guess the young thriller touched him/Like he touched me/ Like he touched you”—um…

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“Treat Me Like Your Mother” by the Dead Weather (Third Man) Am I the only one who thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that Jack White’s new band features him (a) chant-rapping like some nu-metal doofus and (b) playing drums better than anyone else in the group plays his/her instrument, voice included? Song’s professional but nothing special, alas.

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by DJ Koze (Mule Electronic) Someday, DJ Koze will stop making records that stop me in my tracks, and then I will stop writing about them. Until then, here’s another compilation standout (My Favorite Things Vol. 2) in the semi-ambient vein: a wash of organ that starts out like a wide-open yet cozy Field track, ends with the keyboards daubing pastels in the dark, and picks up a by-now-requisite “surprise” klonk! a couple minutes in, as well as some snugly scratchy percussion.

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by the Fiery Furnaces (Thrill Jockey) I’m Going Away, from which this is the track that won’t let go, is the most immediate, song-oriented album they’ve made since 2003’s Gallowsbird’s Bark, but they haven’t so much gone back to normal as reinvented themselves again, this time as something approaching a simple rock band. “Lost at Sea” is the simplest song, with the simplest chorus, but it won’t stop nagging you: “Baby, I’m… maybe I’m not me.”

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“Best I Ever Had Freestyle”

by Jahdan Blakkamoore and 77Klash (DuttyArtz.com) Brooklyn dancehall vocalist Blakkamoore “freestyles” by crooning a good new song over Drake’s summer-jam earworm, with a verse borrowed from Radiohead’s “Climbing up the Walls.” It’s every bit as lovely as the earworm. ■

Comment on It’s a Hit at thestranger.com

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WISP HEADS ANOTHER STELLAR BONKERS! BILL Bonkers! in Data Breaker again? Afraid so.

Truth is, this monthly night at Re-bar keeps bringing the weird and interesting bills for which I’m a total sucker. It would behoove you to hoof on over to the next installment of electronic tomfoolery that Ian Price (aka the Naturebot) and his stalwart crew have curated for your third ear.

New York’s Wisp (Reid Dunn) headlines this month’s event. He’s been making strangely contoured waves in electronic music’s IDM sector with his most recent fulllength, The Shimmering Hour, on England’s seminal Rephlex Records Wisp (he’s also released on Sublight and Terminal Dusk). The Shimmering Hour sounds like an archetypal Rephlex effort; in fact, some thought Dunn was behind the Tuss, a once-mysterious Aphex Twin production that caused a stir in 2007.

On this disc, lustrous synths twinkle and swell with orchestral grandeur while manic rhythms skitter and splat in a manner familiar to anyone who’s followed

MY PHILOSOPHY HIPHOP YA DON'T STOP

B Y L A R RY M I Z E L L J R .

GRYNCH’S GOOD CHEMISTRY The hits just keep on coming. Blogland’s favorite 206 MC, the (man who hates being called the) King of Ballard, Grynch, has blessed us all with his latest and greatest, the Chemistry EP. Just like that awesome Physics EP from last week, it’s up for free download; hit www.getgrynch.com to get yours. Eight tracks deep, this record finds Young G nailing his formula, as laid out on the title track: “Good beats, good rhymes, good chemistry.”

Okay, so it’s a little deeper than that.

For one, Grynch really put together a great palette of beats in which to find inspiration, with contributions from longtime collaborator Scenik, bicoastal Myx Music artists/ producers Keelay & Zaire (cop that Ridin High), Red Bull Big Tune Philly contestant CsD (whose beat on the opener “Right Now” is an attention getter), as well as up-and-coming locals like DJ Nphared and Ill Pill. The biggest smash on here comes courtesy of the biggest name, New Jersey’s celebrated slap-champ Illmind; the song in question, “A Dream Undeferred,” captures the heart of go-forth perseverance rap, its verses detailing the MC’s rise through the ranks. Chemistry also boasts a sweet supporting cast, with RA Scion, Geologic, Inverse’s Tunji, and One Be Lo all riding shotgun in the Ballardian’s bucket. Which brings us to “My Volvo,” the humorous ode

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elite producers like Squarepusher, μ-Ziq, Plaid, and Richard D. James over the last 15 years. This is electronic music that bears the compositional complexity and integrity of jazz-fusion masters like Return to Forever and Weather Report, but it’s leavened by a giddy spirit. Wisp’s music proves that you can simultaneously stroke your chin and cut a rug, and not look too ridiculous in the process.

Another treat bestowed by Bonkers! is a rare live appearance by Seattle’s Relcad (Alex Duff), who’s kept a low profile for years. I didn’t hear anything by him till Peloton Musique issued his “On Your Left” on its Bicycles Are Your Friends comp. That piece damn near stole the show, even from esteemed figures like Markus Nikolai, Jeff Samuel, Lusine, and Twerk. Relcad produces techno imbued with compellingly odd atmospheres, unusual textures, and danceable, non-peak-time beats. He has a distinctive sound, which in techno circa 2009 is a scarce commodity; let’s hope this marks the beginning of a more active liveperformance regimen for Relcad.

As for the Naturebot, this will be his first PA in over six months. He warns, “I’m busting out all the hardware I’ve been building and completely changing directions… after a dozen years with cheery and overwhelming slappy crap, I’ve kind of given out and am trying my hand at some electro-charged, marbled acid. Something wiggly and omniscient.” Well, now you’re speaking our language, Ian. I praised his album, The Schnebly, in a January Data Breaker and still find it a deliriously delightful listen. That being said, the Naturebot is a resourceful lad and surely his new stuff will send jolts of novel excitement. ■ Bonkers!: Wisp, Relcad, the Naturebot vs.

MC Anton Bomb, Dopelabs, Fri July 10, Rebar, 10 pm, $9 before 11 pm/$13 after, 21+.

to that namesake whip that rings downright endearing to anybody who’s ever loved a piece-of-shit car; never shy of making fun of himself, Grynch knows how to clown himself without himself becoming a clown. Which is a testament to his rare self-assurance— flexing a comfortably precise, make-it-soundeasy delivery (that’s improving with each release), the ever-humble Grynch is at his most confident on Chemistry, with a few flashes of a cocky new strut to his flow that’s more than welcome (and hints at even rawer material yet to come). The Chemistry EP release party goes down at Nectar on July 12, with Sol (as seen at Capitol Hill Block Party on July 25), Tunji, Rockwell Powers, DJ Marc Sense, and Geologic on the host front.

Lemme take this time for a couple birfday wishes: First, my man Kevin, liquor rep and good dude extraordinaire is throwing himself a b-day bash at Chapel on July 11 with Mad Rad, Sportn’ Life’s Sex Symbol, and DJ’s Tigerbeat and Marty Mar. Also, Mr. Songs for Bloggers (download that!) GMK is celebrating his own born day at Nectar on July 15, where he’ll be rocking with a three-piece band. Also appearing are the State of the Artist crew and the Gem City Committee, the combo of MCs Peoples, Philly Alto, and R.O.B., who’ve teamed up to construct a free three-act mixtape, The Sound, which you can get on Peoples’ MySpace page (/gotpaid). I’m sure in both cases that your presence is presents enough.

Lastly, I, like many of y’all, was not prepared for the emotional response I had to last week’s loss. I say we take this time to really comprehend the vastness of the impact his art made on popular music and culture around the globe—and let the man rest. That is to say: RIP, MJ. ■

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THE SCORE

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & AVANT

BY CHRISTOPHER DeLAURENTI

Live Music

FROZEN FANTASY I chose the character name â&#x20AC;&#x153;Khil_Nauâ&#x20AC;? because I want to hack and slash my way through the computer game Final Fantasy VIII. Instead, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m stuck in a tutorial section about spell-casting. Swooshing harps and mellow keyboards plinking like an endless intro to a â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s soft-rock song waft through my headphones. I should be aggravated, but the perpetual stream of music induces a placid calm. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll kill later, I guess.

Earle Brown, a compadre of John Cage and Morton Feldman in the so-called New York School, would have deemed Nobuo Uematsuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s score to Final Fantasy a prime specimen of â&#x20AC;&#x153;open form.â&#x20AC;? Brown coined the term in the 1950s to describe performing a composition by shufďŹ&#x201A;ing and joining seemingly separate sections of a score on the spot. Written music becomes like a deck of cards in poker; every deal is part of the game, yet some hands will be stronger than others.

Composers for computer games do the same thing, penning snippets (some just two or four beats long) and phrase-length segments able to wallpaper and withstand the sudden transitions, almost endless looping, ambient sound, and omnipresent special effects that pervade gameplay (ka-BOOM!). After I extract myself from the Final Fantasy tutorial to grab a snack, my (in)actions still cocompose the music, which owes equal debts to prog rock and Carmina Burana: Drums and tinkling percussion buttress stomping rhythms, sentimental tunes, and the occasional doom-bellowing choir.

Given the elasticity of Final Fantasyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music in practice, it may seem strangeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and staidâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for the Seattle Symphony to devote a weekend (Thurs July 9, 7:30 pm and Friâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sat July 10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11, 8 pm, Benaroya Hall, $17â&#x20AC;&#x201C; $85) to ďŹ xed, closed-form selections culled from 11 editions of Final Fantasy. The audience will watch images from the game on a giant video screen while the symphony and the Seattle Choral Company perform an evening-length suite, including the ominous â&#x20AC;&#x153;Liberi Fatali,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fishermanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Horizon,â&#x20AC;? and the gameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opening theme.

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s even a premium-priced meet â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; greet afterward with the composer.

Nonetheless, this is a risky, almost experimental concert. In addition to plumping up the thin MIDI- and sample-based sounds of the gameâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s score with a live orchestra, the symphony, by freezing the open-form Fantasy music, may enunciate something new out of the familiar.

Finally, jazz fans must not miss Greta Matassa (Fri July 10, Tulaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 8 pm, $15).

Blessed with commanding pipes and the right amount of wink-and-a-nod sass, she celebrates the release of her latest disc, the excellent I Wanna Be Loved (Resonance), with trumpeter Thomas Marriott augmenting her working quartet.

Loved exempliďŹ es Greta Matassa Matassaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power to imitate and transmute her prime inďŹ&#x201A;uencesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holidayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;into a singular, often astonishing, voice. â&#x2013;

Comment on The Score at thestranger.com

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July 9, 2009

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Psychic Ills Monday 7/13 at Funhouse

This week’s noteworthy shows and parties

For the full music calendar, see page 50 or visit thestranger.com/music.

Thursday 7/9 Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy with Seattle Symphony (Benaroya Hall) See The Score, page 43.

Coconut Coolouts, Mean Jeans, Little Cuts (Funhouse) The thing to love about Coconut Coolouts is that they’re always playing. Not as in they’re always playing their instruments; it just feels as though they are always at play, always having fun. (Naming tracks “Party Jail” and “Shotgun Party” probably help to keep the good-times vibe a-comin’.) I don’t mean this in a “they’re-sure-having-fun-up-there” backhanded slap sort of way; I mean they’re always experimenting and pursuing the sound of fun wherever it tries to hide. Rhythmic hand claps? Why not?

What sounds like 200 people singing the chorus of a song? Sure! The Coconut Coolouts are scientists in the partyest laboratory on earth, and they want you to be a guinea pig. Say yes. PAUL CONSTANT

Seahouse, Masters and Johnson, Last Slice of Butter, TheRaindrops (Greenhouse) Somehow I’ve managed to miss Seahouse by just a hair every time they’ve played here.

But it’s been hard to miss the positive chatter about the band coming from colleagues, friends, even near-strangers. Recently, after arriving at a show, again, just after Seahouse played, an acquaintance was raving about the young band’s unchecked impulsiveness—how they would, from one song to the next, sound like a half-dozen bands, all good, while figuring out how to sound like themselves. On the band’s MySpace page, you can hear echoes of such barely older acts as No Age (“Iced Tea”), Wavves

(“Summer,” “Don’t Care”), as well as lo-fi elders Beat Happening (“PNW”). Probably, Seahouse have adopted another half-dozen influences since posting these. This is what young bands sometimes do— stretch out in different directions at once, just to see what fits—and while it might not make for an essential debut CD, it hints at plenty of ways for the band to grow. ERIC GRANDY

Wah Wah Exit Wound, Diminished Men, the Abodox (Blue Moon) Wah Wah Exit Wound brashly thread abrasive post-rock guitar textures through prog-rock convolutions—sort of like a less-bombastic Mars Volta or maybe Polvo tackling King Crimson’s Red. Whatever the case, WWEW do their thing—a thing not many have the skill and guts to do—very well.

Seattle’s Diminished Men are mainly known for casting surf rock in starkly noirish shadows and infusing it with kitsch-free drama. But they also veer off the reverbed, twangy path into more abstract, chilling territory ripe for scoring classic giallo films, fusing Goblin with Ennio Morricone. The Abodox apply cataclysmic pressure to the metal genre until it becomes spectacular torrents of magma. Technical prowess meets raging fury in the Abodox’s creations, and we all go home bruised and drained. Proper loud, complex music from right here. DAVE SEGAL

Skeletonwitch, Saviours, Trap Them, Black Breath (Chop Suey) Skeletonwitch is a stupid band name.

They sound fucking evil—grunting zombie vocals and guitar solos that could pierce your soul—but their name kills the vibe. I picture them sitting around, probably stoned, bantering, “Dude, you know what’s scary? Skeletons.” “Yeah, dude, those are scary! You know what would be even scarier?

Tiger Lounge FOOD - COCKTAILS - PATIO Wed

July 8

Thu

July 9

Fri

July 10

Sat

MEOW-A-GOGO

presented by Burning Hearts Go-go dancer: Goody Goody, DJ Agent Double-O S.O.U.L. w/ special guest Vodka Twist, 9pm.

FIRE @ THE TIGER

Fire Dancers & Hot Drink Specials $5 Mojitos, $4 Micro Drafts Starts @ Dusk PAJAMA PARTY

Wear your jammies or sassy lingerie!

Agent Double-O S.O.U.L. w/ special guest NO COVER, 8pm.

LIVE MUSIC

July 11

NO COVER

Tue

ROCK BAND PARTY

July 14 Wed

July 15

Thu

July 16

Fri

July 17

Sat

July 18

Hosted by Uncle Bling.

Prizes for Best-Dressed. 8pm.

MEOW-A-GOGO

presented by Burning Hearts Go-go dancer: Gale Force, DJ Agent Double-O S.O.U.L., 9pm.

FIRE @ THE TIGER

Fire Dancers & Hot Drink Specials $5 Mojitos, $4 Micro Drafts Starts @ Dusk PAJAMA PARTY

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Agent Double-O S.O.U.L. w/ special guest NO COVER, 8pm.

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206-762-7357

A skeleton witch!” “Fuck, man, a skeleton witch?

That’d be fuckin’ scary!” They might as well be called Mummywolf or Vampirefrankenstein. Openers Saviours are less goofy. Their stoner-rific metal is epic—less monster mash and more “I will punish you by way of thundering guitar riff.” And their name doesn’t sound like a third grader made it up.

MEGAN SELING

Friday 7/10 West Seattle Summer Fest: Mudhoney, Mark Pickerel and His Praying Hands, more

Tears for Fears (Chateau Ste. Michelle) Wrapping the primal-therapy indulgences of John Lennon’s Plastic Ono Band in secretary-pleasing synth-pop tunes, Tears for Fears followed their wounded inner children to freakish international success in the ’80s. From debut The Hurting to the Sybil-inspired Songs from the Big Chair to the stupidly eternal “the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had,” Tears for Fears have comported themselves like a pair of Morrisseys with no sense of humor and endless therapy funds.

Are Tears for Fears emo’s unsung forefathers? Who knows, but it’s only fitting they’re playing the Chateau Ste. Michelle W(h)inery. DAVID SCHMADER

(West Seattle Junction) See preview, page 33, and Stranger Suggests, page 17.

Schoolyard Heroes, the Pharmacy, the Whore Moans, Black Houses, Keg

Bonkers!: Wisp, Relcad, the Naturebot vs. MC Anton Bomb, Dopelabs

(Vera) Since leaving Seattle for New Orleans last year, the charmingly messy psych-pop-punk band the Pharmacy have, as they usually do, gotten into some shenanigans (this is a band that has been ar-

(Re-bar) See Data Breaker, page 41.

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Tiki Bob’s Cantina

166 S King St • 206.382.8454 • www.tikibobsseattle.com • www.myspace.com/tikibobsseattle

207 First Avenue S. Pioneer Square 206-622-0209 www.centralsaloon.com

164 s. washington st. 206.405.FUEL (3835)

www.fuelseattle.com

www.myspace.com/fuelseattle

www.myspace.com/seattlejointcover

TIKI & CENTRAL PHOTOS: KELLY O

THE CENTRAL

CITY

F E AT U R E

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

THE STRANGER

town would kill to entertain as often and as skillfully as these guys. Watch and learn, and they’ll show you how to hootenanny like there’s no tomorrow. PAUL CONSTANT

Pterodactyl Friday 7/10 at the Comet

Saturday 7/11 Mad Rad, Sex Symbol, Tigerbeat, Marty Mar (Chapel) See My Philosophy, page 41.

West Seattle Summer Fest: Caspar Babypants, Thee Sgt. Major III, Team Gina, more (West Seattle Junction) See preview, page 33.

A Drink for the Kids: Robin Pecknold, Throw Me the Statue (Neumos) See Stranger Suggests, page 17.

The Advent & Industrialyzer, Jerry Abstract, Travis Baron, 214, PotatoFinger, Greg Skidmore

rested, broken down and stranded, and injured on tour multiple times). For example: Singer Scott Yoder is still recovering from hand surgery. “I severed the tendon in my pinkie while butchering swine at my job,” he says. “I had surgery just a couple weeks ago to harvest tendon from my wrist. It was an eight-hour procedure!” Even so, the Pharmacy are not only ready to play a couple shows while in town, but they’ll also be recording some new material with Calvin Havnaer of the Raggedy Anns. Cuff ’em, cut ’em, move ’em across the country—the Pharmacy will never stop. MEGAN SELING

Pterodactyl, Man Party (Comet) Brooklyn’s Pterodactyl (they must be like the 37th indie-rock band with that name, if maybe the first to break into mass subcultural consciousness) peddle a raucous version of the kind of noisy neo-psychedelia that has lately been made into big things by the likes of Animal Collective and, say, Yeasayer. Pterodactyl play guitars, bass, and drums,

513 N. 36th St. Seattle, WA 98103 (206) 547-0240 . Happy Hour: 5pm-8pm

09

but they wring out of those standard instruments a loose-limbed, untethered racket that is far from ordinary; all four guys sing, but it’s not folksy harmony as often as it is wildly overlapping, echoing outbursts. Nothing from their wide-ranging sophomore album, Worldwild, immediately lodges itself in my brain, but repeat listens are proving the album to be a subtly insistent suite of songs. ERIC GRANDY

The Tallboys, Slimpickins (Tractor) I haven’t heard the newest Tallboys album, but I can tell you this: The Tallboys are the best old-timey/bluegrass/square-dance band in all of Seattle. Maybe that proclamation doesn’t mean as much in these post–O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack-madness days; maybe way back at the turn of the millennium, they’d get the respect they deserve from fickle scenesters. But even without the faddish followers, the Tallboys are one of the hardest-working bands in Seattle, and they consistently put on a great show. Every other band in

(Chop Suey) British techno producer the Advent (Cisco Ferreira) has been pushing techno’s hard-line since around 1994, originally in a duo with Colin McBean, then solo from 2001 onward, and now with Industrialyzer (punchy Portuguese DJ/producer Ricardo Rodrigues). His productions have been massive, will-to-power affairs, combining finesse and aggression, and constructed for the most headstrong (and legstrong) dancers. The Advent is up there with techno warlords like Surgeon, Regis, and Cristian Vogel. Local pummelers Jerry Abstract and Travis Baron are the ideal choices to support the Advent & Industrialyzer, while Seattle’s PotatoFinger is the wild card of the bunch, an eclectic producer whose “Pixilated Mayhem” is too unruly to be described in the space allotted. Just see him. DAVE SEGAL

Coldplay, Kitty Daisy & Lewis, Amadou & Mariam (Gorge Amphitheatre) What do Coldplay have to do to earn your fucking respect? Refuse million-dollar endorsements from Gatorade, Diet Coke, and the Gap? (Check.) Devote countless hours and dollars to

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supporting Amnesty International and international free trade? (Check.) Work with Brian Eno? (Check.)

Shove Gwyneth Paltrow off a cliff? (Pending.) Whatever the case, Coldplay continue their quest to be the most imaginatively principled rock band whose music I couldn’t care less about, granting a splashy opening spot on their Viva La Vida tour to worldmusic superstars Amadou & Mariam. Go to see “the blind couple from Mali” rock the fucking house, stay for the perfectly respectable Grammy-winning Radiohead-lite to follow. DAVID SCHMADER

No Depression Festival: Gillian Welch, Iron and Wine, Patterson Hood & the Screwtopians, Jesse Sykes & the Sweet Hereafter, Justin Townes Earle, Jessica Lea Mayfield, Seattle All-Star Revue, Zee Avi (Marymoor Park) Holy God. I hate festivals, but are you fucking kidding me with this lineup? Gillian Welch and Jesse Sykes & the Sweet Hereafter on the same goddamn stage on the same goddamn day?

Which is not to say that Iron and Wine are anything to sneeze at, but seriously: If you’re going to make a sandwich with Welch and Sykes as bread, you don’t need anything in the middle. But there are plenty of reasons to hang out for the whole day: Zee Avi is a cute, promising young musician, and Justin Townes Earle is definitely on the way up, too. As the kids used to say back in the frontier days of the internet, this lineup is made of win. PAUL CONSTANT

Andy Werth, Open Choir Fire, Bad Dream Good Breakfast (High Dive) Seattle rock trio Open Choir Fire are the sore thumb on tonight’s lineup. On their new record, Dirt Bathed and Quilted (released this week), the Tacoma transplants experiment with everything from sharp, post-rock rhythms (“You Should Take the Bus”) to more fluid indie-rock melodies (“Get in Line”).

But billmates Bad Dream Good Breakfast and Andy Werth both boast strings and piano and a vaudevillian vibe. Weird, right? Maybe OCF did that on purpose. Maybe it’s like a wedding—when you choose bridesmaids’ dresses, you want them to look nice and all, but they can’t be at all like your dress because you’re the bride—it’s your night. Well, tonight, with

MARMALADE

9pm $6 Seattle’s Improv, Soul, Funk. Love Collective with members of Phat Sidy Smokehouse, Super Sonic Soul Pimps, Nu Soltribe, Trwst & Jambalaya.

10

OLYMPIC SOUND COLLECTIVE, DJ JASON SCHEL

11

THE SATELLITE 4, SUGARSMACKS, DJ CHILLY (KEXP) retro funk & soul 9pm $5

12

BIG BULLY SHOW

13

Michael Shrieve’s

14

JARROD TAYLOR, ANDIE FRANCOUER, DAN TOROK singer-songwriter 8pm $5

15

BLESS featuring DJ MILLION, DUB CHAMPIONZ, AND ADRIAN XAVIER

funk party!! 9pm $5

gong show themed open mic 8pm no cover

SPELLBINDER

groove latin rock 9pm $6

T CONCERS T E K C I T T START A

reggae / dub 9pm $5

$25

1021 E. Pike (206) 324-9210

DISTANT WORLDS: MUSIC FROM

FINAL FANTASY

Shuffle Queer Mixer 7-9 PM

www.thewildrosebar.com

7.09

Capitol Hill Arts Walk w/ LadyJane DJ

CHEAP DATE NIGHT!! $2 Wells!! CornDogs & TaterTots

fri 7.10

sat 7.11

sun 7.12

mon 7.13

Trivia--w/Coach Carrie Play in Teams!! Prizes - 8 PM

tues

$1 tacos and cheap cerveza

7.14

Club TT w/DJ Judical @ 8!!

Dance Queers Dance!! w/ DJ Amateur Youth 9 PM

Consignment, Council of Lions, and Play Start

MICRO MONDAY ALL MICROS $2.50

TACO TUESDAY!!!

9 PM

$4 BLOODY MARY’S ALL DAY!!

wed 7.15

KARAOKE w/ Host Sarah 8:30 PM

WITH SEATTLE SYMPHONY AT BENAROYA HALL

Presented by Wild Wildrose drose & Tiert I, Inc.

thu

®

JULY 9, 10 & 11 Meet Composer Nobuo Uematsu! Meet-and-Greet tickets: $100 (Does not include your concert ticket)

206.215.4747 / www.seattlesymphony.org

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

SAT JUL 18 7PM DOORS • ALL AGES

SUN JUL 12 7PM DOORS • ALL AGES

THE CLASSIC CRIME FALLING UP, MAN WITHOUT with

WAX, FIGHT THE CURRENT WED AUG 19 ALL AGES THU AUG 20 21+

SUN AUG 23

8PM DOORS EACH NIGHT

8PM DOORS • ALL AGES

PETE YORN

CAGE THE ELEPHANT

TIX ON SALE SAT JUL 11 @ 10AM!

SE

D S , DV D S & DC R

C R

W

E

O

&

U

DS

NE

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FRI JUL 10 & SAT JUL 11

FRI JUL 17 8PM DOORS • 21+

8PM DOORS • 21+

REVEREND

VICCI MARTINEZ BAND

with NEKROMANTIX

with KIRBY KRACKLE, NICHOLE HALLEEN & THE PROJECTS, JEREMY BURK

HORTON HEAT TIX ONLY

$15!

THU JUL 30 7PM DOORS • 21+

KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD ALL SHOWS 21+ 8PM DOORS

with VOODOO GLOW SKULLS and BROADWAY CALLS

SUN JUL 19 8PM DOORS • ALL AGES

VAMPS with THUNDERBIRD MOTEL

TUE OCT 13 8PM DOORS • 21+

BUTTHOLE SURFERS 7/9: DAVE HANNON, PAPER ASTRONOMER 7/12: DRAKKAR SAUNA, OBERHOFER, ANDY GASSAWAY 7/15: IVAN & ALYOSHA, GHOST SHIP 7/16: JUSTIN RIPLEY, LONESOME SHACK 7/21: BERKELEY HEIGHTS, JEDX, ANDIANAPOLIS

7/8 JIM ROSE CIRCUS VS. JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS • 7/24 SYZTEM 7 / AGAIN AND AGAIN • 7/25 NINTHGATE • 7/27 GOMEZ • 7/31 TOOTS AND THE MAYTALS • 8/7 S.Y.F.T. / TEMPEREDCAST • 8/14 ROCK THE BELLS TOUR: REFLECTION ETERNAL AND MORE! • 8/21 JAR OF FLIES (ALICE IN CHAINS TRIBUTE) • 8/22 LAYNE STALEY TRIBUTE FEAT. ED KOWALCZYK (OF LIVE) • 8/27 “ROCK YOUR CLASS OFF” BENEFIT FEAT. TIC TIC BOOM, SCHOOL OF ROCK SEATTLE AND MORE • 9/11 SUGAR RAY • 9/12 ARJ BARKER • 9/13 PLACEBO • 9/14 EVERY TIME I DIE / BRING ME THE HORIZON • 9/17 METHOD MAN & REDMAN • 9/23 THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM • 9/24 DARK STAR ORCHESTRA • 10/5 MUTEMATH • 10/6 CHILDREN OF BODOM • 10/17 SUPER DIAMOND • 10/29 THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT • 11/3 MÚM

IN THE LOUNGE

OPEN BEFORE EVERY HOME SPORTS GAME! • ALL SHOWS 21+ HAPPY HOUR TUE-FRI 4:30PM – 7:30PM ANY NON-SHOW DAY!

7/08: JARED MEES & THE GROWN CHILDREN, ORIGAMI GHOSTS 7/10: RAPID DESCENT, DESILLUSION, TRIP LIKE ANIMALS, DUMBASS JONES 7/11: KISSING GIRLS, THE MISSIONARY POSITION, UNDER THE GIVEN, STATIC RADIO 7/15: ASTROVAN, PLASTER, TSAVO 7/18: FORCED ELEGANCE, WIDE EYE PANIC, OTHERWISE, JAKE MARSH TRIO 7/24: ATOMIC OUTLAWS, ONCE AROUND THE SUN, SIMPLE RITUAL, BIG FAT ALICE 7/25: KILL THE KING, HELLFYRE EMPYRE, BLOOD SHOT BARRELS, BURNT OFFERINGS 7/31: HIPPIE SPEEDBALL, LEVEL, IRON SPYDER, SYSTEMIK 8/07: TINY HAT ORCHESTRA, STAFFORD & THE BENTZ BROTHERS

7/16 ALL CITY TEEN DANCE • 7/17 SOCIAL DISTORTION: SOLD OUT! • 7/23 FIREFIGHTER 2010 CALENDAR RELEASE EVENT • 8/11 DOWN/THE MELVINS • 8/29 NORTHWEST MUSIC EXPO • 9/2 GEORGE CLINTON & PARLIAMENT/ FUNKADELIC • 9/11 GOV’T MULE • 9/18 GIRL TALK • 9/19 PAOLO NUTINI • 10/10 THE POGUES • 11/17 THE BLACK CROWES

CITY

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SUGGESTS

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nali instead of that one guy who shows up at last call with $5 pies of dubious origin). ERIC GRANDY

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone Tuesday 7/14 at Healthy Times Fun Club

Sunday 7/12 West Seattle Summer Fest: Super Sonic Soul Pimps, Green Pajamas, more (West Seattle Junction) See preview, page 33.

Grynch, Sol, Tunji, Rockwell Powers, DJ Marc Sense (Nectar) Grynch refuses to sleep. His new EP, Chemistry, displays a hiphop mind that is carefully, brick by brick, developing a form of music that can withstand any kind of challenge or change in the hiphop climate. On the EP, Grynch maintains his leading theme, his leitmotif, which is how to be a rapper in a world that offers few commercial prospects. Meaning, how can you be happy just making hiphop? In the past, it was all about money and mass appeal.

That is no longer the case. There’s no more money to be made, and national recognition is elusive. In such conditions, does the rapper give up or make melancholy hiphop? Grynch says no. You can find happiness simply in making music and sharing it with those who really care about the art. CHARLES MUDEDE See also My Philosophy, page 41. their new record in hand, is Open Choir Fire’s night, and tonight they will shine. MEGAN SELING

Emerald City Soul Club (Crocodile) For too long, the lines to get into Emerald City Soul Club at the Lo-Fi Performance Gallery have been, well, too long. Show up at even just 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. for the well-loved dance night, and you’d frequently find fancied-up, would-be revelers lined up down the block at a standstill. With the Lo-Fi undergoing some redesign issues, the last couple of months have been especially tough, with Soul Club split between Lo-Fi’s little front room and the Victory Lounge next door. So cheers to ECSC for moving the night down to the higher-capacity Crocodile starting this month. Expect all the same rare soul 45s to be spun, all the same dressed-up dancing, but maybe just a little less of a line (and pizza from Via Tribu-

Thu July 9th 8pm / $6 / 21+ Into The Storm (cd release), [Moans], Pseudo

Fri July 10th 8pm / $8 / 21+ Lost Dogma, Katy Reichlin, Westerly (acoustic), Gibson Cima

Sat July 11th 8pm / $8 / 21+ FURNITURE GIRLS w/ Bubbalicious, Paul Fischer, Brian Kenny Fresno

Sun July 12th 6pm / $6 / 21+ WARSAW POLAND BROS. (AZ.) w/ guests

Wed July 15th 8pm / $6 Nightshirt, Invisible Giants, Equals =

Upcoming Shows

TU

featuring Trey Gunn & Pat Mastelotto from King Crimson

Fri July 24th 8pm / $10 adv. / $13 dos

All Shows 21+ myspace.com/mixseattle / i l

.com

Brought to you by ER Arts

Monday 7/13 Psychic Ills, Indian Jewelry, Backward Masks (Funhouse) See preview, page 31, and Stranger Suggests, page 17.

Cage, Yak Ballz, Rudy and the Rhetoric, Sadistik (Nectar) See preview, page 34.

Tuesday 7/14 Men, Team Gina, Your Heart Breaks (Chop Suey) Your Heart Breaks is more a storytelling collective than a band, with a rotating cast

THE STRANGER

of characters. The heart and spine is Clyde Petersen, but Karl Blau, Kimya Dawson, and Laura Veirs have all been known to help tell YHB’s wonderful stories, sad stories, and stories about getting stoned on a rooftop in Vancouver. In “Torrey Pines,” Petersen sweetly sings a lyric that could sum up the project’s reason to exist: “The shit that you’ve been through is the reason you’re you/I bet someone is listening with a similar history/Once the words are spoken and it’s all out in the open/It will help other people feel a lot less broken/So open up your mouth and let it all out/You’ve got to get it all out/Just get it off your fucking chest.” Amen. MEGAN SELING

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, Cryptacize, Ribbons (Healthy Times Fun Club) Owen Ashworth’s Casiotone for the Painfully Alone project stands (or hunches) as one of emotronica’s most prominent figures, a poor person’s Magnetic Fields. I’m too old and cynical to truly love CFTPA’s morose, heart-onsleeve bedroom ditties, but his appeal to sensitive youths is understandable. Oakland trio Cryptacize— featuring ex-Deerhoof guitarist Chris Cohen—write pretty yet jagged quasi pop, topped by smooth male/female vocals, while favoring surprising song dynamics that don’t come off as overly ADHD or gimmicky. They also do a brilliant, spectral deconstruction of Steely Dan’s “Peg,” which I urge you to hear ASAP. It just charmed my pants off, which is problematic, as I’m in the office. DAVE SEGAL

Wednesday 7/15 GMK, Peoples, Philly Alto, R.O.B., State of the Artist, DJ Evil Twinz (Nectar) One of my favorite local hiphop releases this year is GMK’s Songs for Bloggers (post-racial hiphop in its Seattle form), and one of my favorite reviews of a local hiphop recording is Larry Mizell’s critique of Song for Bloggers. Mizell writes: “GMK’s own halting, abbreviated flow is a study in rap minimalism, conjuring opaque visuals about blog templates, Robot Chicken, and unfulfilling LDRs (is there another kind?) in a funky, less-is-more manner.” That there is beautiful writing. As for GMK’s

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“Games Play” off Songs for Bloggers, it’s one of the most beautiful works of hiphop made in this city.

GMK’s art shows great promise. CHARLES MUDEDE See also My Philosophy, page 41.

Speaker Speaker, Branden Daniel & Everybody Gets Laid, Cold Cold Ground, Wildcat Choir (Comet) Wildcat Choir are the latest effort from Erik Baldwin, former guitarist for the defunct (and excellent) Pleasureboaters and coconspirator of the Beats, Man. This newest project is more frayed blues-punk than the spastic, thrash-rock of Pleasureboaters, and the aesthetic is a great deal more menacing than the Beats, Man. Think guitar-and-drum duos like Immortal Lee County Killers or a darker, scrappier version of the Black Keys for a starting point. The rough takes available on the internets demonstrate thick, slowburning guitar riffs and lumbering drum work (both good things). Do yourself a favor and get to this show early enough to see them. GRANT BRISSEY

UP & COMING MORE WOLVES IN THE THRONE ROOM, MINSK, NINTH MOON BLACK, SAMOTHRACE: Thurs July 16, Neumos THE DECEMBERISTS, ANDREW BIRD, BLIND PILOT: Fri July 17, Marymoor Park SOCIAL DISTORTION, CIVET, THE STRANGERS: Fri July 17, Showbox Sodo THE WEAKERTHANS, JASON COLLETT, BLACK SWEDES: Sat July 18, Neumos DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE, THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS, RA RA RIOT: Sat–Sun July 18–19, Marymoor Park BANE, TERROR, POISON THE WELL, MADBALL, CRIME IN STEREO, DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR, THIS IS HELL: Sun July 26, King Cat Theater POISON IDEA, ZEKE, THE SPITTIN’ COBRAS, ACID ANGELS: Fri Aug 7, El Corazón SEAWEED, THE WHORE MOANS, THE REDWOOD PLAN: Fri Aug 7, Crocodile FLAMING LIPS: Fri Aug 21, Marymoor Park ENDFEST: BLINK-182, WEEZER, TAKING BACK SUNDAY, CHESTER FRENCH: Thurs Sept 10, White River Amphitheatre BAD BRAINS, TROUBLE ANDREW: Sat Sept 19, El Corazón THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM, MURDER BY DEATH, THE LOVED ONES, FRANK TURNER: Wed Sept 23, Showbox at the Market

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July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

LIVE/DJ ★ = Recommended a = All Ages = Listen online at thestranger.com/bands For the complete, searchable, constantly updated calendar go to thestranger.com/music

109 s. washington st. (on occidental park)

(206) 628-0303

5623 Airport Wy. S. Seattle 98108 brownpapertickets.com

SUN 7/12

MONDAY MADNESS

TUE 7/14

GEORGETOWN BALLROOM

DRAKE WITHAM

BEST OF SEATTLE COMEDY

WED 7/15

July 17 • 7pm • $10

Saturday 7/11 at Neumos

AS SEEN ON CBS’S “CRAIG FERGUSON” AND “LIVE AT GOTHAM”

MON 7/13

THURS-SAT 7/9-7/11

your sounders fc headquarters!

Robin Pecknold

W/

JOE HENRY

OPEN MIC

NON-PROFIT COMEDY BENEFIT FOR

YOUTHCARE

LUKAS SEELY & XUNG LAM

comedyunderground.com

PAIGE PARSONS

THURS

7/9 L IVE

BENAROYA HALL Distant

Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy: Guests, 7:30 pm ★ BIT SALOON Bedside Manner, Andrew James Robinson & the Rebel Waltz, 9 pm BLUE MOON Wah Wah Exit Wound, Diminished Men , the Abodox , 9 pm, $5 a CAFE RACER Jayber Crow, 9 pm, free CAFE VENUS/MARS BAR

Little Penguins, Silverteeth , 9 pm, $6 CENTRAL SALOON The Ray Rivera Blues Band, 9 pm CHAPEL PERFORMANCE SPACE Jazz: the 2nd

Century: Jim Norton a CHOP SUEY Skeletonwitch, Saviours, Trap Them , Black Breath, 7 pm, $12 CITY HALL Mark Pickerel & His Praying Hands, noon CLUB MOTOR Bad Motor Booty: James Hunnicutt , 9 pm, $10 COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

The Abyssinians, Etana, 7 pm COMET Widower, Grant Olsen, Blue Million Miles, Jeremy Burk , 9 pm, $7 CONOR BYRNE Amanda West, Terry Holder, Molly McCue, 9 pm, $5

★ CROCODILE Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head , Hey Champ, Glint, 8 pm, $12 adv a EASY STREET RECORDS (QUEEN ANNE) Shane Tutmarc, 7 pm EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Clave Nagila, Black Math Quartet, 7 pm FAIRE GALLERY CAFE JusB Faire Happy Hour: JusB Faire Band, 5 pm ★ FUNHOUSE Coconut Coolouts, Mean Jeans, Little Cuts, 9:30 pm, $7 HIGH DIVE Ghost Lobby , the Mainland, 9 pm, $7 JAZZ ALLEY Steve Tyrell, 9:30 pm, $28.50 JULES MAES By Sunlight , Jon Wesley, the Secret Stolen, 8 pm KELL’S Liam Gallagher, Stevie Morris LAST SUPPER CLUB

Basement: The Breeze: Mack Long LITTLE RED HEN The Bouchards , 9 pm, free LO-FI Gravity, $5 LUCID The Hang: The Teaching , 9 pm, $5 THE MIX Into the Storm , [MOANS], Pseudo, 8 pm NECTAR Emerald Sprints: Chk Minus, DJ Sessions, 8 pm, free NEUMOS A Gun That Shoots Knives , the Raggedy Anns , Doctor Doctor, 8 pm, $6

PARAGON Goodybag RENDEZVOUS Waves

of the Mind, Dale Baker, Josh Rizeberg, Dragonfish Killswitch, the Telepaths, 10 pm, $5 SEATTLE ART MUSEUM

Art of Jazz: Bernie Jacobs Quartet, 5:30 pm SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Dave Hannon,

Paper Astronomer, 8 pm, $5 SHOWBOX SODO Elliott James, Castle Heights, After You, 8:30 pm, $8/$10 SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Shapiro’s Buick , History For Sale , 9 pm, free THE STEPPING STONE

Bryan Smith & Friends, 9 pm a STUDIO SEVEN Abandon Kansas, Paper Mache, Autumn Harvest, Blunderbear, 7 pm, $8/$10 SUNSET TAVERN Barsuk Records Party: Guests, 9 pm, $8 TOST Marmalade, $6 ★ TRACTOR TAVERN The Gourds, Shinyribs, 9 pm, $10 TRIPLE DOOR Summer Blues Festival: Eric Bibb, Daddy Treetops, 7:30 pm, $24/$27 TULA’S Mark Taylor Quartet, 7:30 pm, $10 TULALIP RESORT CASINO

Gary Allan, 7 pm, $40-$60 DJ BALLROOM SwerveWon

★ BALTIC ROOM Joints & Jams: Fourcolorzack, Nostalgia B, Hyro, Bambu, DJ Rockwell, Sean Cee, Spinja, DJ J-Tyme CAPITOL CLUB Thrifty Thursdays: Problematic CENTURY BALLROOM

Salsa: Gustavo “El General”, Edgar, 9 pm, $7 FUEL Biker Night: Butta ★ HAVANA Back Door: Suntzu Sound, $3 HEAVENS Flow: Nathan Heal Cybersutra, 9 pm, free LAST SUPPER CLUB Open House: Mercury Pre-Party: Audio Driveby, Meddle, Sollitude, Digga, DSM, Aaron Simpson, Osiris Indriya, free MARCUS’ MARTINI HEAVEN LSDJ NEIGHBOURS Rock Lobster: Billy the Kid, DJ Trent Von RE-BAR Mechanismus: Guests ROB ROY Yoo Doo Right: Rotating DJs ★ SEE SOUND LOUNGE Bangers & Mash: Guests SLIM’S LAST CHANCE DJ Hubba, 8 pm SNOQUALMIE CASINO

Ladies Night: Guests, 8 pm TRIPLE DOOR

Musicquarium: Soul Patch, 10 pm WAR ROOM Wicked & Wild Dancehall: Johnny Horn, Soul One, 9 pm

DRUNK OF THE WEEK

KELLY O

MICHAEL FFFFFFFF-FELL-PSSSS* Look at meeeeee! Wheeee! Jumpin’ jiminy—I’m swimmin’! It was almost 90 degrees today. I ish drankin’ aaaaah day. Yep. Then aaaaah night. Now I’m schwimmin’ home.

Whaat? No, I’m fffff-INE. CARS?! Shut UP! Thersh no cars in the lake! Don’t be an ASHH-hole. I’m jush swimming home, okay? *We helped Michael swim to safety shortly after taking the photo. KELLY O

CITY

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CHOP SUEY (206) 324-8005 • WWW.CHOPSUEY.COM 1325 E. MADISON / SEATTLE • E. MADISON & 14TH AVE. E. • CAPITOL HILL

WED JULY 8TH $8ADV/DOS / 8PM DOORS / 21+

TUE JULY 14TH $10ADV/ $12DOS/ 8PM DOORS/ 21+

CHOP SUEY PRESENTS

CHOP SUEY PRESENTS

PAPER BIRD

MEN (JD & JO FROM LE TIGRE)

FACTS ABOUT FUNERALS KAZU NOMURA (PWRFL POWER)

TEAM GINA, YOUR HEART BREAKS WED JULY 15TH $7ADV/ 9PM DOORS/ 21+

THU JULY 9TH $12ADV / 7PM DOORS / ALL AGES BAR WITH ID

THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF KOMEDY PRESENTS

LAFF HOLE!

INFINITE PRODUCTIONS & KISW METAL SHOP PRESENT

SKELETONWITCH

SAVIOURS, TRAP THEM, BLACK BREATH FRI JULY 10TH $10ADV/$12DOS/ 9PM DOORS/ 21+ CHOP SUEY PRESENTS

THE VEILS

THU JULY 16TH $7/ 8PM DOORS/ 21+

FOREIGN BORN, THE OTHER GIRLS SAT JULY 11TH $10ADV/ $15 DOS REDUCED COVER BEFORE 10:30PM/ 9PM DOORS/ 21+ KNIGHTRIDERS PRESENTS

THE ADVENT & INDUSTRIALYZER - LIVE - (U.K.) JERRY ABSTRACT, TRAVIS BARON 214 - LIVE, POTATO FINGER - LIVE GREG SKIDMORE

WITH: EMMETT MONTGOMERY BRIAN BOSHES, JOHN KENEFEL JAMES PARKINSON, ANDY’S WORLD WITH THE MUSIC OF HOOKER FARM CHOP SUEY PRESENTS:

FULL METAL DISCHARGE!!

WITH: WILDILDLIFE SAME SEX DICTATOR, ELKS BLOOD WITH DJS FENTAR & JARET WINTERS FRI JULY 17TH $7ADV / 9PM DOORS / 21+ CHOP SUEY PRESENTS

SUN JULY 12TH $12ADV/ 7PM DOORS/ ALL AGES BAR WITH ID

TULSI

INFINITE PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

FEAR BEFORE THE MARCH OF FLAMES

FOREIGN BORN, THE OTHER GIRLS

(CD RELEASE)

SPECS ONE, THEE SATISFACTION, DJ ABLE

UP & COMING 7.18 10,000 LB HAMBURGER TOUR 7.19 FU*K IT SUNDAY 7.20 THE DEEPSLEEP NARCOTICS COMPANY 7.21 BEDOUIN SOUNDCLASH 7.22 OSCILLATE W/ THE FLASHBULB 7.23 THEMSELVES 7.24 INFERNO!! 7.25 MADRAD

MUSIC PROVIDED BY:

ADVANCE TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE NOW AT WWW.TICKETWEB.COM, SONIC BOOM RECORDS, AND CHOP SUEY M-F CASH ONLY. CHOP SUEY / 1325 E.MADISON ST / CAPITOL HILL 206.324.8005 / WWW.CHOPSUEY.COM

•

•

Come join us for a slice and check out our new drink menus

Sun - Tues Wednesday Friday Saturday

$2 PBR & $6 Pool Trivia with a Twist, 9pm - $5, $3 Trumer Pilsner

DJ Dyce

no cover before 9:30pm

DJ Pete Bitty

no cover before 9:30pm

Happy Hour daily 4-7pm • Kitchen open til 1 am

AVAI BLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES AND EVENTS • FREE WIFI

456 N 36th Street in Fremont 206.634.2575

ballroomfremont.com

THE STRANGER

July 9, 2009

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July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

MUSIC, BEER & LIQUOR WED, JULY 8 & THUR, JULY 9 + 9PM GOOD-TIME, HONKY TONKIN’ $15 EACH NIGHT

MON, JULY 13 + 7PM + $5

MONDAY SQUARE DANCE FEAT. MUSIC BY

THE GOURDS

THE TALLBOYS HELLACIOUS SQUARE

BABY GRAMPS OPENS WEDNESDAY SHINYRIBS OPENS THURSDAY

DANCING STARTS AT 8 PM!

TUES, JULY 14 + 9PM + $12ADV/$15DOS GOTHIC COUNTRY FOLK

FRI, JULY 10 + 9:30PM + $10

THE HANDSOME FAMILY

OLD TIME STRING BAND

THE TALLBOYS CD RELEASE SHOW

DANIEL KNOX

SLIMPICKINS

WED, JULY 15 + 9PM + $6

SAT, JULY 11 + 9:30PM + $8

LOCAL ROCK

TOUCHES OF PSYCHEDELIC FOLK, ALT-COUNTRY & INDIE ROCK

DEVICES

HALLWAYS CD RELEASE SHOW

STEREO SONS

SEE ME RIVER THE MARRYING TYPE

TEA COZIES

THUR, JULY 16 + 8:30PM + $12ADV/$15DOS SQUARE PEG PRESENTS

SUN, JULY 12 + 9PM + $8 NATIONALLY KNOWN BLUES/ROOTS MUSICIAN

ALL SHOWS ALL AGES BAR W/ID • PLENTY OF FREE PARKING!

8 BLOCKS SOUTH OF SAFECO, 1 BLOCK N. OF SPOKANE ST. JUST OFF 1ST AVE SOUTH • 110 S. HORTON

INFO: 206-286-1312 • go to www.studioseven.us for more dates THU JULY 9 • 7:30 PM $8 ADV. / $10 DOS

ABANDON KANSAS, PAPER MACHE, AUTUMN HARVEST, BLUNDERBEAR

FRI JULY 10 • 7 PM $12 ADV. / $15 DOS 107.7 THE END PRESENTS:

MXPX, MONETA, THE BOMBADIL PROJECT, POORSPORT

SAT JULY 11 • 8 PM $10 ADV. / $12 DOS HOT ROCKS LIVE! PRESENTS:

RESONANCE, INNUENDO, KAMIKAZES, CANNON SPUNK

SUN JULY 12 • 5 PM $10 DOS GORILLA PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:

TBA

TUE JULY 14 • 8 PM $10 DOS ABOVE THE MARK ENT. PRESENTS: HIP HOP SHOWCASE W/

KNOWMADS, MOTH1NE, SUEDE, JSON WED JULY 15 • 6:45 PM $10 DOS AFTON PRESENTS:

MATTHEW AND MOSES, MADS JACOBSEN, JORDANI, INVISIBLE GIANTS, MICHAEL J. GOOD

FRI JULY 17 • 6 PM $10 ADV. / $12 DOS

KNIGHTS OF THE ABYSS, BROADCAST THE NIGHTMARE, THE ANALYST, THROUGH THE FIRE, I DECLARE WAR, CULLING THE WEAK, IDOLS

SAT JULY 18 • 5 PM $10 ADV. / $12 DOS GET YOUR ROCKS ON TOUR!

UP & COMING

7/22 SKA LOVE FEST W/ RUDE TUNA 7/23 SOUL MAJESTIC 7/25 ENDLESS GREY (CD RELEASE), THE CRYING SPELL 7/26 VAMPIRE LEZBOS 7/29 OBSCURED BY CLOUDS 8/1 RONNY MUNROE (OF METAL CHURCH) 7/31 BARNYARD BALLERS, TOXIC ZOMBIE 8/2 THREAT SIGNAL, THE AUTUMN OFFERING, THE AGONIST, SYBREED 8/3 SHORT ACCESS, THE LONDON 8/4 ARSONISTS GET ALL THE GIRLS, SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY 8/12 KILL PARADISE, AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, BRADLEY HATHAWAY 8/13 KOUNTRYSTOCK 2009 W/ NAPPY ROOTS 8/15 HUMBLE SOUL 8/16 RED SCARE TOUR W/ COBRA SKULLS, THE COPYRIGHTS 8/21 MANOOGHI HI 8/22 SLEEPING GIANT, FOR TODAY, THE WORLD WE KNEW, SUICIDE SILENCE 8/24 PRIMER 55 8/26 PAPER CUT MASSACRE 8/27 THE COLOR TURNING 8/28 & 8/29 SLAVE TO THE METAL 8/30 UK SUBS (FEAT. CHARLIE HARPER, NICKY GARRATT, ALVIN GIBBS) 9/12 PAINTED ON WATER (SERTAB ERENER & DEMIR DEMIRKAN) 9/16 THE HONORARY TITLE, GOOD OLD WAR, CORY BRANAN 9/19 BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR 9/26 “5TH ANNUAL NW DEATH FEST” 10/13 THE KOFFIN KATS 10/28 MOONSPELL, SAMAEL, BOOK OF BLACK EARTH, SECRETS OF THE MOON 10/30 ANDRE NICKATINA

ALL EVENT TICKETS AVAILABLE THRU TICKETSWEST.COM OR 1-800-992-TIXX

CHRIS COTTON & THE OCTOGATOS

SCOTT WETZEL THE GREAT UNREST

RYAN SHUPE & THE RUBBERBAND CARRIE CUNNINGHAM

UP and COMING

+ 7/17 THE STAXX BROTHERS, COLIN LAKE, HAIKU-CHI + 7/17 The Tractor presents at High Dive WILLIAM FITZSIMMONS, JENNY OWEN YOUNGS + 7/18 THE MINUS 5 cd release show, RED JACKET MINE + 7/21 TRESPASSERS WILLIAM, THE THEATER FIRE, ROBERT GOMEZ + 7/22 HACKENSAW BOYS, CHARLIE PARR + 7/23 INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, PARLOUR HOPPERS + 7/24 SATAN’S PILGRIMS cd release show, THE GHASTLY ONES, SUGARSMACKS + 7/25 THE PANDA CONSPIRACY, THE JAKE SHAW TRIO, 20 RIVERSIDE + 7/26 PUFFERFISH, DAVE McGRAW & CROW WING, THE RACHEL MAE BAND +

CITY

F E AT U R E

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

LIVE/DJ

7/10 LI VE 88 KEYS Dueling Pianos:

All-Request Show: Guests, 9 pm, $10 BENAROYA HALL Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy: Guests, 8 pm BIT SALOON Skelator, Infantry, INfernal Damnation, Taking Over, Motorthrone, 9 pm BLUE MOON Schudge, Year of the Serpent , the Penalty Killers, 10 pm, $5 CAFE VENUS/MARS BAR

Gunn & the Damage Done, Junkrod, Sweet Lou, 9 pm, $6 CENTRAL SALOON the Filibusters, 9 pm CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE

Tears for Fears, 7 pm, $40$60 CHOP SUEY The Veils, Foreign Born, the Other Girls, 9 pm, $10/$12 a CLUB MOTOR Starbucks Music Network Showcase: Guests COMET Pterodactyl, Man Party, 9 pm, $8 CONOR BYRNE The Moe Provencher Project, the Starlings , the Ericksons, 9 pm CROCODILE Rack & Roll: A Benefit to Fight Breast Cancer: Stone Rangers, No Ground , Above All Odds, Duffy Bishop, 8 pm, $15 DISTRICT LOUNGE Eric Fridrich, Guests, 8 pm, free EGAN’S JAM HOUSE

SHOWBOX SODO Rapid

BLUE MOON The Royal

Descent, Desillusion, Trip Like Animals, Dumbass Jones , 8:30 pm, $8/$10

Bear , Paris Spleen , Blood Red Dancers, 10 pm, $5 ★ CAFE VENUS/MARS BAR The Hands , the Beats, Man , the Ironclads , 9 pm, $6

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Atomic Outlaws, Cold December, Big Fat Alice, 9 pm, free SLIM’S LAST CHANCE

Boss Martians, Thee Sgt. Major III a STUDIO SEVEN MXPX, Moneta , the Bombadil Project, Poorsport , 7 pm, $12/$15 SUNSET TAVERN Gary Reynolds; $6, Thee Emergency , 10 pm, $8 TOST Olympic Sound Collective, Jason Schell, 9 pm, $5 TRACTOR TAVERN The Tallboys , Slimpickins , 9:30 pm, $10 TRIPLE DOOR Summer Blues Festival: Son Jack Jr.’s Delta Hothouse, Mighty Titans of Tone, 8 pm, $15/$18; Musicquarium: Tor Dietrichson Blues Machine, 9 pm TULA’S Greta Matassa, Thomas Marriott, Susan Pascal, 8 pm, $15 ★ a VERA PROJECT Schoolyard Heroes , the Pharmacy, the Whore Moans , Black Houses , 7:30 pm, $10-$11 a WAMU THEATER Tori Amos, One eskimO, 7:30 pm, $45-$75 WEST SEATTLE West Seattle Summer Fest: Mudhoney, Mark Pickerel & His Praying Hands, Guests DJ

Roxy Coss Quartet, Steve Alboucq Quartet, Martin Murray Band, 7 pm a EL CORAZON Veritas , Girl in a Coma, Miss Derringer, Roxy Epoxy & the Rebound, Pedestre, 8 pm, $8/$10

BALLROOM Dyce

ELLIOTT BAY BREWERY

Tango Dance: Guests, Second 9 pm, $10 CUFF C & W Dancing: Funky Bear, 7 pm FADO DJ Pat, 10 pm ★ GREY GALLERY & LOUNGE Wd4d , DJ Vital, free a HALO All Ages Salsa Dance: Guests, Second 9 pm, $7 HAVANA Curtis, Sean Cee, Guests, $5 HEAVENS Reload: Free Fridays: Guests, 9 pm, free LAST SUPPER CLUB Imperial VIP: Cide, Tre, Austin Payne NECTAR Prince Vs. Michael: Dave Paul, Indica Jones, 9 pm, $7 PARAGON Resident DJ, 9:30 pm

Omar Torrez, 8 pm, free a EMPTY SEA STUDIOS Goh Kurosawa, 8 pm, $13/$15 FLIGHT’S PUB Hotbox, 8 pm FUEL Enkrya , Dissonance, Benny Grace, 9:30 pm, $5-$10 ★ FUNHOUSE Drink For The Kids: Plaster , 12 Gauge Saint, All Bets On Death , Hate Chamber, 9:30 pm, $5 HIGH DIVE Brian Ledford, Blue Million Miles, 6 pm, $5; Don’t Tell Sophie , Pickwick , Dynamik, The Globes, 9 pm, $7 HIROSHI’S Jazz & Sushi: Guests, 7:30 pm JAZZ ALLEY Steve Tyrell, 9:30 pm, $28.50 THE JOSEPHINE You Yell You Kick, the Redwood Plan , Sugar Sugar Sugar KELL’S Stout Pounders a L.A.B. (SEATTLE DRUM SCHOOL) Dyslexic, Sol, Taybot , 7 pm LITTLE RED HEN Wild Turkeys, 9 pm, $5 LOCAL COLOR Maggie Laird, 8 pm a MARKET STREET TRADERS Marvin Hoffert, 7 pm, free MR. SPOTS Tin Can Tobacco Band, Megan Jean, 8 pm a NEUMOS Hardstyle ‘Til I Die Tour: Blutonium Boy, Flarup, Used and Abused, DJ Ryle, Nympho, J Renegade, 8 pm, $20 PIECORA’S Alligators , Conservative Dad, Key of V a Q CAFE Chris Wise & the Glory Glory, Moon Pulls Over the Ocean, Spencer Abbott, Tim Wilson, 8 pm, $7 REDLINE MUSIC AND SPORTS Psycho 78

★ RENDEZVOUS PJ Party: Thee Satisfaction, Canary Sing, DJ B-Girl, 10 pm, $5/$8 without PJs SERAFINA The Djangomatics, 9 pm ★ SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Reverend Horton Heat, Nekromantix, 8 pm, $15/$22

53

www.TheCanCan.com 206.652.0832 , Seattle in the historic Pike Place Market Pike Street

kitchen, cocktails & cabaret

94

FRI

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

BALTIC ROOM Filthy Nice

Fridays: Presto, Phosho, 10-4 Roger, 9 pm CAPITOL CLUB Taster’s Choice: DJ Verse, Guests, free CENTURY BALLROOM

PARLOR ULTRA LOUNGE

Ultradance: Kemal, 9:30 pm, free RE-BAR Bonkers!: Wisp, Relcad, Naturebot, MC Anton Bomb, Dopelabs SEE SOUND LOUNGE Play: Guests SNOQUALMIE CASINO

Club SNO: Guests TIKI BOB’S Revelry: KBK, Tamm TRINITY Phase, Tyler, Kai Larrabee, Keith Chambers, J Eva, Kippy $10/free before 10 pm ★ WAR ROOM Alive & Well: Fourcolorzack, Nostalgia B, DJN8, Spinja, J-Tyme, Hyro, UPS, $5 before 11 pm

SAT

7/11 L I VE 88 KEYS Dueling Pianos:

All-Request Show: Guests, 9 pm, $10 BENAROYA HALL Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy: Guests, 8 pm BIT SALOON The Bloodclots , the Pranks, the Enemies of, Blue Ribbon Boys , Creem City, 9 pm

CASABLANCA RESTAURANT Flamenco

at Casablanca: Guests, 10 pm, $15

WED JULY 8 8PM $5/$10 VIP

CAN CAN CASTAWAYS: BEST OF THE BEST

CENTRAL SALOON

Nathan Wade & the Dark Pioneers , Devil’s Club, Professor Gall , 9 pm

THUR JULY 9 8PM $5 21+

KYLE BRADFORD AND FRIENDS

UNDERAGE

FRI JULY 10 7:30PM $10 GA/TABLE PACKAGES AVAILABLE ONLINE

I SEE LONDON, I SEE FRANCE SPECIAL GUESTS

Seahouse

WAXIE MOON

FRI JULY 10 10:30PM 21+ $10 GA/TABLE PACKAGES AVAILABLE ONLINE

AEROBOTRON

SAT JULY 11 7:30PM & 10:30PM $10 GA/TABLE PACKAGES AVAILABLE ONLINE

ELECTRIC!

SUN JULY 12 7PM $5/$10 VIP

CAN CAN CABARET

MON JULY 13 8PM FREE!!

ABSINTHE-MINDED MOVIE MONDAYS

1/2 PRICE WINE BOTTLES/ABSINTHE ALL NIGHT! TRY OUR HAPPY HOUR MAC AND CHEESE MENU

TUE MAY 19 7PM $3/$10 VIP

SUN RECORDS REVIVAL W/ VINCE MIRA AND SPECIAL GUESTS

SUN-THURS: NEVER A COVER IN THE BAR

BUY TICKETS AT THECANCAN.COM

JAKOB GOLTIANI

SEAHOUSE’S PNW From their first, sloppy shows at the Old Fire House in 2007 to the first time they destroyed a party at now-defunct Central District DIY house the Ark, Issaquah’s Seahouse have always been something very special, as evidenced by the unanimously stoked crowds that meet them everywhere they go. Their simple, lo-fi sing-alongs encompass all that it is to be a suburban teenager—but on their first fulllength album, PNW, they elevate their poppy basement jams to full-on summersoundtrack material. The inhuman beat of Nick Leumpert, flat-out the city’s best young drummer, lays the groundwork for the band’s grimy guitars and the blooming teenage lyrical prowess of vocalist and frontman Max Smith-Holmes.

Whether being hopelessly lost in love, anticipating the end of school, or welling up with hometown pride, PNW is a raw and honest trip through Smith-Holmes’s hang-ups and enthusiasms. The album’s release party is this Thursday, July 9, at the Greenhouse. Also playing are Underage favorites Masters and Johnson and the Last Slice of Butter, and make sure to show up early for Secret Colors.

The Spokane transplant wields electronic loops and guitar to create huge, atmospheric sounds that evoke the depths of outer space. His experimental suites will start the night off slowly, but by the time the boys of Seahouse take to playing, this show should be the party of the season. CASEY CATHERWOOD

BEER & BINGO MONDAYS 8-10pm Free fun & Cool prizes $2 Draft PBRs ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SPAGHETTI Vegetarian: $8.18 Meatballs $1.14 each

5701 Airport Way S. 206-763-3040 calamityjanes.biz

SHOW US YOUR BRAINS! TRIVIA WEDNESDAYS 8:30pm-10:30pm

Free to Enter-Cash Prizes Live Music Thu July 16 a NIGHT OF DOOM AND GROOM w/GREY, ARIELRUIN, & GALDR 10pm, $5

5501 Airport Way S. ‘round back 763-6764 georgetownliquorcompany.com

ALL-AGES CALENDAR Fri July 10: Off with Their Heads, Dear Landlord at Squid & Ink, 7 pm, $5.

Fri July 10: Chris Wise and the Glory Glory, Moon Pulls the Ocean, Spencer Abbott, Tim Wilson at Q Cafe, 8 pm, $7.

Fri July 10: Schoolyard Heroes, the Pharmacy, the Whore Moans, Black Houses, Keg at the Vera Project, 7:30 pm, $11 ($10 w/ club card).

Sat July 11: James Miska, Chaz Prymek at the Honeybucket, 8 pm, donations.

Sun July 12: Punch, the Separation, Dichotomy, On, Sojourner at Fusion Cafe, 7 pm, $6.

Wed July 15: Universal Soul, Max SmithHolmes, Kaitlin Saunders at the Old Fire House, 6:30 pm, free.

The Spectator Sports Bar and Grill Hosts

Seattle’s First Annual Competitive

BACON CHEESEBURGER EATING CONTEST! Help us kick off our new menu featuring

“The Mount Tator” Bacon Cheese Burger Weighing in at 8lbs 7oz.

Sat July 11th 5:30 PM Applications for contestants are being taken now!

Visit our website for info. big fun, and giant prizes 529 QUEEN ANNE AVE N (206) 599-4263 | www.thespectatorsports.com

54

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

Friday July 10th main room 106.1 KISS FM presents

CLUB KISS

with DJ Phase & Tyler blue room

TBD BD BD blue room

Kippy

$10, FREE before 10pm

Saturday July 11th main room

Guy & VSOP blue room

Jason LeMaitre card room

DJ Topspin $15, FREE before 10pm

Tuesdays NO COVER, $3 cocktails

Thursdays

Wednesdays with Jason Curtis NO COVER, $3 Beers

NO COVER Thursdays at Trinity

3 rooms of music, $3 beers, $1 shots presented by

Sign up for the guestlist at trinitynightclub.com Happy Hour $2.50 beer, wine and wells Tuesday â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Saturday 6pm-9pm

111 Yesler Way, Downtown Seattle 206.447.4140

www.trinitynightclub.com

CITY

F E AT U R E

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

THE STRANGER

July 9, 2009

55

LIVE/DJ ★ CHAPEL Mad Rad , Sex Symbol, Tigerbeat, Marty Mar CHAPEL PERFORMANCE SPACE Ronin CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE

Steve Miller Band, 7 pm, $49-$89 ★ CHOP SUEY the Advent, Jerry Abstract , Travis Baron, 214, Potatofinger, Greg Skidmore, 9 pm, $10/$15 COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Michael Jackson Memorial Celebration: Russell Wilson, 8 pm, $10-$50 ★ COMET the Bugs, The Pharmacy, Strong Killings , Sugar Sugar Sugar, 9 pm, $7 CONOR BYRNE Piano Bar: Rusty Urie, 9 pm EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Kim Rushing Quartet, Tim Lerch, 7 pm a EL CORAZON The Slackers, Skavenjah, the Diablotones, Rude Tuna, Dicktionhead, 7 pm, $15/$17 FADO Kennedy Brothers, 10 pm FLIGHT’S PUB Jake Marsh Trio, Oriya, Bums Island, 8 pm a FULL TILT ICE CREAM Goly Grim , Funeral, Dried Up Corpse, 8 pm FUNHOUSE Throttle Rocket Roller Girl Party: The Hollowpoints, Off with their Heads, Dear Landlord, Mark Sparkles, 4 pm, $7, Steel Tigers of Death , the Load Levelers, High Class Wreckage, 9:30 pm, $5 GOOFY’S SPORTS BAR

Deathmocracy, 10 pm, free GORGE AMPHITHEATRE

Coldplay, Kitty Daisy & Lewis, Amadou & Mariam HIGH DIVE Andy Werth, Open Choir Fire , Bad Dream Good Breakfast , 9 pm, $7 THE JOSEPHINE Lube Fondue, Cathartech, Walrus Machine, 9 pm KELL’S Stout Pounders

a KIRKLAND TEEN UNION BUILDING Mirror the Ghost, Idols, Zero Year, Underdose , 7:30 pm, $6 a L.A.B. (SEATTLE DRUM SCHOOL) Second Saturday Songs: Chris Blacker, Terri Derr, Trevor Ridge, Kevin Jones, Steve Mason, Colin Higgins, Kristy Smith, 7 pm LITTLE RED HEN Wild Turkeys, 9 pm, $5 LUCID Reservoir Cats, 9 pm, free ★ MARYMOOR PARK No Depression Festival: Gillian Welch, Iron & Wine, Patterson Hood & the Screwtopians, Jesse Sykes & the Sweet Hereafter, Justin Townes Earle, Jessica Lea Mayfield, Zee Avi, Seattle Roots-Music All-Star Revue, 1 pm, $45/$50 MR. SPOTS The David Estrada Head Trauma Art Project, Stillborn Again Christians, Imperial Legions of Rome , Jimmy Flame and the SexXy Boys , 7 pm ★ NECTAR Thee Emergency , Astronautalis, We Are Not A Cult, DJ Curtis , 9 pm, free ★ NEUMOS A Drink for the Kids: Robin Pecknold, Throw Me the Statue , 8 pm, $15 PARAGON CT Thompson Music, free

EVERETT’S PREMIER UE MUSIC VEN july 11th Jake Marsh Trio, Oriya, Bums Island

seattle, wa 98109

FRIDAY JULY 10TH

THISS! R THU

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

VERITAS

GIRL IN A COMA, MISS DERRINGER ROXY EPOXY & THE REBOUND, PEDESTRE

july 17th The Circus In Your Town, Unknown Amongst Gods, Fulcrum july 18th Lyme Disease Benefit Show with Drown Mary - Sikend and Freinds july 24th Dapper Jones - Catalyst & Hippie Speedball Music Every Friday and Saturday, all shows start at 9pm and NO COVER CHARGE EVER!!

Full Calendar at www.flightspub.com

7601 EVERGREEN WAY

$8 ADV / $10 DOS, Doors at 8:00pm, Show at 8:30pm

SATURDAY JULY 11TH

! ursday

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

h ther T

KGRG (89.9 FM) & El Corazon Present:

THE SLACKERS

ails or Det

o ndar f TUMES everhy le AL COS eck Ca NAUTIC ED C

SKAVENJAH, THE DIABLOTONES, RUDE TUNA, DICKTIONHEAD

RAG

ENCOU

AYS, CASTAW AN CAN ER & C E H T JOIN ANG 21+ OPPELG HERR D UESTS FOR A E OF G N L O IA C N E SP UISE O RTY BOATS! R C T E R A CABA EST P ’S LARG SEATTLE

$15 ADV / $17 DOS, Doors at 7:00pm, Show at 8:00pm

SATURDAY JULY 11TH (21 & OVER) LATE LOUNGE SHOW The Slackers Afterparty with:

THE TRUTONES $FREE, Doors 12:00am, Show immediately

COCKTAIL HOUR STARTS @ 6:30 AND BOAT LEAVES PROMPTLY AT 7:30!

WWW.THECANCAN.COM

following the conclusion of The Slackers show in the main room

TICKETS: 206.652.0832

SUNDAY JULY 12TH (ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

KISW (99.9 FM) Metal Shop & El Corazon Present: “The Conquer And Curse Tour”:

ABIGAIL WILLIAMS

REDLINE MUSIC AND SPORTS Home Alive Benefit:

GOATWHORE, DAATH, ABYSMAL DAWN, SUCCESS WILL WRITE, APOCALYPSE ACROSS THE SKY

The Kings, Switchblade & the Surgeon, the People Now , the Nasty Habits , free RENDEZVOUS Skeleton Closet Cabaret: Nathaniel Johnstone, Blackbird Orchestra, Superfluous, 10 pm, $6 SEATTLE CENTER La Vie Francaise: Guests, 6 pm SERAFINA Jerry Frank, 6:30 pm; Jose Gonzales Trio, 9 pm ★ SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Reverend Horton Heat, Nekromantix, 8 pm, $15/$22 SHOWBOX SODO Kissing Girls, The Missionary Position, Under the Given, Static Radio, 8:30 pm, $8/$10

$15 ADV / $17 DOS, Doors at 7:00pm, Show at 8:00pm

SUNDAY JULY 12TH

(21 & OVER) LATE LOUNGE SHOW

The Conquer And Curse Tour Afterparty with:

ANNULUS $FREE Doors 12:00am, Show immediately following the conclusion of the Abigail Williams show in the main room

MONDAY JULY 13TH (ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

Mike Thrasher Presents:

A STATIC LULLABY

VANNA, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, MOTIONLESS IN WHITE, TIDES OF MAN $12 ADV / $14 DOS, Doors at 6:00pm, Show at 7:00pm

TUESDAY JULY 14TH (ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

POSTER OF THE WEEK

GUNBUNNY

AUDIOART, NOVAHEAD VS. CHICKENTRON $8 ADV / $10 DOS, Doors at 8:00pm Show at 8:30pm

THURSDAY JULY 16TH (ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

THE DEAD ARE JUDGED

ANDERSON, VINYL WILLIAMS, ADDNERIM, PROJECT COPE, GARRONT $8 ADV / $10 DOS, Doors at 6:30pm, Show at 7:00pm

FRIDAY JULY 17TH (21 & OVER)

YOB

BROTHERS OF THE SONIC CLOTH, LESBIAN $10 ADV / $12 DOS, Doors at 9:00pm, Show at 10:00pm

FRIDAY JULY 17TH

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID) LATE LOUNGE SHOW YOB AFTERPARTY WITH:

SATURDAY JULY 18TH (21 & OVER)

SUNDAY JULY 19TH (ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

JUAN CROUCIER’S THEELEONORA SAY I SAY, DRESSED TO THE HELM (FEATURING DIRTYJUANRATS KILL, SIGHT VS. SOUND, ASPEN, CROUCIER BRAVURA OF RATT AND CARLOS CAVAZO OF QUIET RIOT) ZERO DOWN, GEBULAR, HELLFYRE EMPIRE, TIME STANDS STILL

T

his week’s poster comes to us from local designer/animator/illustrator Devi Pellerin. Her work reminds me of those great old ’50s and ’60s cartoons that were still on TV after school when I was a kid. She also did an awesome poster for next week’s Weakerthans show at Neumos, which you should keep an eye out for. Check out more of her work at www.flickr.com/photos/ tamponbunny. AARON HUFFMAN

Azure Ray w/Anomie Belle Sun July 12, Neumos

$FREE, DOORS 1:00AM, SHOW IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE CONCLUSION OF THE YOB SHOW IN THE MAIN ROOM

$12 ADV / $15 DOS DOORS AT 8:00PM SHOW AT 9PM

$8 ADV / $10 DOS DOORS 7:00PM, SHOW 7:30PM

7/22 MYSTIC ROOTS BAND, RISE N SHINE 7/24 MANDI PERKINS, LUNAR SWAY, CARRIE TURNER, THOMAS JONAK 7/25 THE PHENOMENAUTS, THE RE-VOLTS 7/26 DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, HE IS LEGEND, BEFORE THEIR EYES, EYES SET TO KILL 7/28 MOTOGRATER, DAR SUN 7/31 TRUCE 8/1 THE HUMPERS, RC5 8/2 BISON BC, LAZARUS AD, WOE OF TYRANTS, WITCHBURN 8/4 THE BRIGGS, POVERTY BAY SAINTS, COME LIVE THE RIOT (CLR) 8/5 TO PAINT THE SKY, HEXXUS, ASPEN, CHRYSALIS, PRISTINE, TO THE WIND 8/6 AMANDA OVERMYER (SEASON 7 FINALIST FROM AMERICAN IDOL) 8/7 POISON IDEA, ZEKE, ACID ANGELS, ARTIMUS MAXIMUS 8/8 REBELUTION, IRATION, TRIBAL SEEDS 8/9 HELL’S BELLES, STONE AXE 8/10 BOBBY LONG, DIVISION OF MARS, DAVE HANNON, OWLS TO ATHENS 8/10 LATE DIAMONDS UNDER FIRE 8/11 RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, MONTY ARE I, THE DARES, GO RADIO 8/12 DEMON HUNTER, 7 HORNS 7 EYES, HEIRESS 8/18 JEFFREE STAR 8/19 ASTERIA, A LOVE LIKE PI, THEATRE BREAKS LOOSE, GABRIEL THE MARINE 8/21 THOR, ARNOCORPS, DAGOBAH, BLOODHAG 8/22 MONETA 8/23 SET YOUR GOALS, FOUR YEAR STRONG, POLAR BEAR CLUB, FIREWORKS, A LOSS FOR WORDS 8/24 PROJECT PITCHFORK, DEVIANT UK 8/25 FORBIDDEN, DROWN MARY, THE BRAINDEAD 8/27 D12, POTLUCK 8/28 JUCIFER, PLASTER 8/29 DEADBOLT, DRAGSTRIP RIOT 8/30 THE ANSWER 8/31 IMPERATIVE REACTION, PSYCLON NINE 9/6 FREEZEPOP, ANAMANAGUCHI, BLUNDERBEAR 9/7 DAVID ALLAN COE, PHILO BEDDOE 9/8 XOTOX, W.A.S.T.E. 9/9 PROJECT INDEPENDENT NORTH AMERICAN SHO CASE TOUR 9/12 OBITUARY, GOATWHORE, KRISIUN, THE BERZERKER, WARBRINGER 9/14 NEW PANTS, REBUILDING THE RIGHTS OF STATUES, P.K. 14 9/18 DILLINGER FOUR, RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS, THE ARRIVALS, SEX/VID 9/19 BAD BRAINS, TROUBLE ANDREW 9/24 EDGUY, EPICUREAN, LUNA MORTIS 10/4 STRATOVARIUS, PAGANS MIND, SWORD OF JUDGEMENT, TORTURE BOX, RAVAGE 10/6 THE ROSEWOOD THIEVES, THE DEAD TREES 10/7 NEW MODEL ARMY, MEISCE 10/8 GOD DETHRONED, ABIGAIL WILLIAMS, WOE OF TYRANTS, AUGURY

56

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

LIVEAL VOC Cher

Neil Diamond

Billy Joel

Bette Midler

Elton John

Direct from Las Vegas

Barbra Streisand

Every Sund Sunday ay Through Wednesday ednesday (Limited Engagement)

At Julia’s On Broadway 300 Broadway E., Seattle, WA 98102 on Capitol Hill 206-852-9179 Show 8:30 Dinner 6:30 ALL NEW DINNER MENU Tickets only $20. Tickets may be purchased at: brownpapertickets.com

ON SALE THIS WEEK! 9/15 AMAZING BABY 9/26 W.P.A.(FEAT. GLEN PHILLIPS (TOAD THE WET SPROCKET), SEAN WATKINS (NICKEL CREEK, FICTION FAMILY) SARA WATKINS (NICKEL CREEK), BENMONT TENCH (TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS), PETE THOMAS (ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE IMPOSTERS, RANDY NEWMAN), DAVEY FARAGHER (ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE IMPOSTERS, CRACKER) AND MORE!

FOR TICKETING INFO GO TO WWW.THECROCODILE.COM

DOORS AT 8PM ★ 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED ★ BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS

★ 2200 2 ND AVENUE ★ 2 ND & BL ANCHA RD ★

UP & COMING EVERY SUNDAY “CHURCH” W/DJS SOUL ONE, NOSTALGIA B & FOURCOLORZACK $10, $5 BEFORE 11PM 9PM DOORS 7/10 RACK & ROLL FEAT. DUFFY BISHOP 7/30 THE SCRIPT 8/1 MAGNOLIA ELECTRIC CO 8/2 HENRY CLAY PEOPLE. 8/7 SEAWEED 8/13 CASIOKIDS 8/14 HEAD LIKE A KITE / DYME DEF / MAD RAD 8/15 BOLLYGROOVES 8/17 EMILIANA TORRINI 8/18 SIX ORGANS OF ADMITTANCE AND MASTER MUSICIANS OF BUKKAKE 8/20 FRUIT BATS 8/28 RAMONA FALLS (FEAT. BRENT FROM MENOMENA) 8/29 HARVEY DANGER (LAST SHOW EVER) 9/8 DAVY KNOWLES & BACK DOOR SLAM 9/17 JOHN VANDERSLICE / PINK MOUNTAINTOPS 9/18 DIRTY THREE 10/10 ROBYN HITCHCOCK & THE VENUS THREE

CHECK OUT WWW.VIATRIBUNALI.NET FOR INFORMATION ON PRIVATE PARTIES, SPECIAL EVENTS ETC. EMAIL US AT INFO@THECROCODILE.COM

FRIDAY JULY 10 | 7:30 PM

SCHOOLYARD HEROES, THE PHARMACY, THE WHORE MOANS, BLACK HOUSES, KEG $11 ($10 W.CLUB CARD) SATURDAY JULY 11 | 8:00 PM THE VERA PROJECT & NEUMOS PRESENT: A DRINK FOR THE KIDS GRAND FINALE SHOW

ROBIN PECKNOLD OF FLEET FOXES, THROW ME THE STATUE $15 ADVANCE TICKETS MONDAY JULY 13 | 7:30 PM

SO MANY DYNAMOS CAST SPELLS POLICE TEETH $8 ($7 W.CLUB CARD) TUESDAY JULY 14 | 7:30 PM

JESSICA HOPPER ON TOUR WITH HER NEW BOOK THE GIRL’S GUIDE TO ROCKING FREE!!

SATURDAY JULY 18 | 7:30 PM

TUNE YARDS, ALASKAS, DASH $8 ($7 W.CLUB CARD) 7/24 CAPITOL HILL BLOCK PARTY: MIKA MIKO, PAST LIVES, STARFUCKER, MICACHU AND THE SHAPES, BOW ARROW, FLEXIONS, AUDACITY 7/25 CAPITOL HILL BLOCK PARTY: JAPANDROIDS, THE LONELY FOREST, SOL, NEW FACES, PICA BEATS

ALWAYS ALL AGES

www.theveraproject.org tickets at www.ticketweb.com 206.956.VERA Corner of Warren Ave N & Republican At Seattle Center

CITY

F E AT U R E

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

THE STRANGER

July 9, 2009

57

LIVE/DJ

THE STEPPING STONE

Afrocop, 9 pm a STUDIO SEVEN Resonance , Innuendo , Kamikazes, Cannon Spunk, 8 pm, $10/$12 SUNSET TAVERN The Small Change , Young Sportsmen , The Riffbrokers , Crown Aruba , the I Love Myselfs, 9 pm, $7 TOST The Satellite 4, Sugarsmacks, Chilly, 9 pm TOWN HALL Sisters Singing: Guests, 9:30 pm, $15 a TRABANT COFFEE & CHAI Bahia Rowan, Amzeah, the Ericksons, 8 pm ★ TRACTOR TAVERN Hallways, See Me River, the Marrying Type, 9:30 pm, $8 TRIPLE DOOR Summer Blues Festival: Too Slim & the Taildraggers, Jim Suhler, Monkey Beat, Sam Marshall , 8 pm, $18/$20 TULA’S Susan Pascal Quartet, Bill Anschell, 8 pm, $15 WEST SEATTLE JUNCTION

West Seattle Summer Fest: Guests, 10 am WILDROSE Council of Lions, Play/Start, 8 pm DJ BALLROOM Pete Bitty BALTIC ROOM I Heart

Shiva: Manpreet, Peter Madril, Ravi, Anup, $10/ ladies free before 11 pm ★ BARCA Mojo Soul Picnic: DJ Gort, 6 pm, free CAPITOL CLUB Freakout: Verse, Barbarella, Edis, Freakazoid CENTURY BALLROOM

Salsa Dance: Guests, 8:30 pm, $5/$10 ★ CROCODILE Emerald City Soul Club: Kenny Mac, Gene Balk, Marc Muller, Alvin Mangosing, Mike Chrietzberg, Brian Everett, Mike Nipper, George Cell, Rare Soul 45’s All Night, 9 pm, $10 adv CUFF Stacey, 8 pm a HALO All Ages Swing Dance: Guests, 9 pm, $7 HAVANA DJ N8, Sean Cee, Guests, $5 HEAVENS In Heaven: Guest DJs JILLIAN’S Club J: Guest DJs JUJU Marty Mar LAST SUPPER CLUB Lust: Risk One, Nature PARLOR ULTRA LOUNGE

Ultradance: Kemal, 9:30 pm, free RE-BAR Somethin’ About House: Ramiro, Patriq, Deepvibez SEE SOUND LOUNGE

Forward: Guests, 10 pm SNOQUALMIE CASINO

Club SNO: Guests TIKI BOB’S Spray: Victor Menegaux, 8 pm TRINITY Guy, VSOP, Topspin, Jason Lemaitre, $15/free before 10 pm ★ WAR ROOM Yo Son: Scene, DJ DV-One, Fourcolorzack, $5/$10 after 11 pm

a EL CORAZON Abigail Williams, Goatwhore, Daath, Abysmal Dawn, Success Will Write Apocalypse Across the Sky, 7 pm, $12/$15; The Conquer And Curse Tour Afterparty: Annulus, 11:59 pm, free FAIRE GALLERY CAFE

Re-Run: Guests FUNHOUSE Fag Cop, Francis Harold & the Holograms, Championship Belt, Grave Babies , 9:30 pm, $5 HIGH DIVE Sea Fever, Glenn Bell, 7 pm, $6 JAZZ ALLEY Scenes, 7:30 pm, $10 KELL’S Liam Gallagher LITTLE RED HEN The Popoffs, 9 pm THE MIX Warsaw Poland Bros, 6 pm MR. SPOTS Yokia No Uta Trio, Novahead Vs. Chickentron, Kooroo, 6 pm ★ a NECTAR Grynch , Sol, Tunji, Rockwell Powers, Marc Sense, 8 pm, $7 NEUMOS Azure Ray, Anomie Belle, 8 pm PARAGON George Grissom Trio, free SEATTLE CENTER La Vie Francaise: Guests, 11 am SERAFINA Alex Guilbert Duo, 11 am

7/12 Guests, 9 pm, $10 a AMORE Live Blues: Guests, 8 pm, free BIT SALOON The Accused, 9 pm CENTRAL SALOON Chris Heise and Myles Crew, 6 pm a CHOP SUEY Oceana, Memphis May Fire, Of Machines, This Time Next Year, 7 pm, $12 COMET Baker Street Irregulars, Jr. Juggernaut, Ionesco , 8 pm, $6

KELL’S Liam Gallagher MR. SPOTS Amanda West,

Lutefisk Jam, 6 pm a NECTAR Cage, Yak Ballz, Rudy & the Rhetoric, Sadistik, 8 pm, $12 NEW ORLEANS The New Orleans Quintet, 6:30 pm RENDEZVOUS Tom Vollman, Candysound , 10 pm a SILVER PLATTERS Cage, 4 pm SUNSET TAVERN The Everchanging Sky, Carcrashlander, Levator, 9 pm, $62

PARTY CRASHER

$1 beers 4-7 daily and 11pm-2 sun thru wed

DANCING EVeRY NIGHT

Salsa Swing Tango WALTZ WEST COAST SWING go to

www.CenturyBallroom.com for full schedule

915 E Pine P ine 22nd nd Floor 206.324.7263 •

all shows $6 unless noted ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★ wed 7/8

Residency Happy Hour with

JACK WILSON AND THE WIFE STEALERS 6pm -FREE

wed 7/8

THE BEAUTIFUL CLARKS KARLI FAIRBANKS, SCOTT RYAN (LA), SHENANDOAH DAVIS 8pm

thu 7/9

WIDOWER GRANT OLSEN (ARTHUR & YU), BLUE MILLION MILES, JEREMY BURK 9pm $7

fri 7/10

PTERODACTYL MAN PARTY-GUEST 9pm $8

sat 7/11

THE BUGS (PDX) THE PHARMACY,STRONG KILLINGS, SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR 9pm $8

sun 7/12

THE BAKER STREET IRREGULARS JR JUGGERNAUT, IONESCO-GUESTS 8pm

mon 7/13

GOD VITAMINS, DOO, ELECTRIC TAPE 8pm

wed 7/15

SPEAKER SPEAKER BRANDEN DANIEL & EVERYONE Gets Laid, COLD COLD GROUND, WILDCAT CHOIR 7pm $7

thu 7/16

BRADLEY WIK by sunlight and the Charlatans, VAUDEVILLE, MAN ROCKWELL -GUEST 8pm

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★

booking info: cometbooking@gmail.com

Oberhofer, Andy Gassaway, 8 pm, $7 a SHOWBOX SODO The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Broadway Calls, 7 pm, $27.50/$30 SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Cat Among Pigeons , Dustin Darnold, Mike Murphy, 9 pm, free SUNSET TAVERN Sunday Bloody Sunset: Witchburn, Dynamite 8, Stone Axe, 4 pm, $5; Gunbunny , Lanterns, 9 pm, $6 TRACTOR TAVERN Chris Cotton & the Octogatos, Scott Wetzel, the Great Unrest, 9 pm, $8 TRIPLE DOOR Thomas Mapfumo & the Blacks Unlimited, 7:30 pm, $20/$22 TULA’S Jazz Police Big Band, 3 pm, $5; Jim Cutler Jazz Orchestra, 8 pm, $5 WEST SEATTLE JUNCTION

West Seattle Summer Fest:11 am DJ CAPITOL CLUB Sound

Sandwich: Eric Pederson, Kris Dorr, Djaymz, Beatnik, 10 pm, free ★ CROCODILE Church: Fourcolorzack, Soul One, Nostalgia B, 9 pm CUFF Tea Dance: John England ★ HAVANA Black Sunday: Johnny Blackout, Neil of Steel, Omar JILLIAN’S Club J: Guest DJs LAST SUPPER CLUB

Remedy: Chinky Eye LAVA LOUNGE No Come Down: Jimi Crash MOE BAR Sunday Stache: Pat Les Stache, 8 pm, free NECTAR Sunday School: Sosa, 2 pm, Free with RSVP @ SundaySchoolBoogie@ gmail.com

Latina: DJ Luis ★ RE-BAR Flammable: DJ Wesley Holmes

LI VE 88 KEYS Soul Sundays:

of Judgement, Tasty Lixxx, H.M.P., 9 pm COMET God, Vitamins, Doo, Electric Tape , 8 pm, $6 CONOR BYRNE Bluegrass a EL CORAZON A Static Lullaby, A Static Lullaby, Asking Alexandria, Motionless in White, Tides of Man, 6 pm, $12/$14 ★ FUNHOUSE Psychic Ills, Indian Jewelry, Backward Masks, 9:30 pm, $7

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Drakkar Sauna,

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Nocha

SUN

CENTRAL SALOON Sword

★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Bad Things

★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★★ ★ ★ ★ ★

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE The

MON

7/13 L I VE AMORE Ronnie Pierce Jazz Ensemble, 6 pm, free BENAROYA HALL Summer Sings: Guests, 7 pm BIT SALOON Up the Punks: Stillborn Again Christians, A Global Killer, 9 pm CAFE VENUS/MARS BAR

The Electrolytes, Deuce, Typewriters , 8 pm, $6

AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER THAT KILLS YOU When you turn 90, you’ll have the chance to reflect on your life. When you and two of your friends turn 30 and throw a 90thbirthday bash, you’ll have the chance to get drunk and remind/convince yourself that age isn’t important. Outside, the Pride festival has taken over the streets of Capitol Hill, adding to the party’s energy.

An international DJ lends a Where: bit of prestige to our heavily Capitol Hill mixed house music. There’s a When: spread of food, sadly picked Sat June 27 over by the time I arrive; even the figs wrapped in prosciutto have mostly been looted of their salty meat.

While we start out the night with discussions of our favorite period of philosophy (I prefer contemporary philosophers of the Žižek and Baudrillard persuasion, but I find myself heavily outnumbered by fans of John Stuart Mill, John Locke, and other old-school philosophers) and an introduction to the methods of implementing genetic algorithms, the conversation gradually shifts into reminiscing over the times we or our significant others have tried to drunkenly pee in closets, which, to be fair, often look a lot like bathrooms in the dark. A previously planned “face-fucking” interrupts the conversation, which begs the question: How does one preplan such a thing?

Once filling two floors, the guests dwindle down until everyone fits on a set of couches. It turns out that no one actually turned 30 today. Instead, the party provided a chance for three friends to remember what the last 30 years, plus or minus a few days, have really been about: face-fucking. COREY KAHLER Want The Stranger to make clever and always-entertaining “you’re 30” jokes at your next house party? E-mail the date, place, and party details to partycrasher@ thestranger.com.

"Every day we feel like we won the freakin' lottery, and we got our lucky ticket on The Stranger Lovelab!" www.thestranger.com/personals

Friday July 10 - 7:00 PM

Dyslexic, Sol, Taybot

Saturday July 11 - 7:00 PM

Second Saturday Songs Friday July 17 - 7:00 PM

The Age of Dusk, Amelia Count the Death, Await the Ghostship Saturday July 18 - 7:00 PM

All Falls Through, Kid vs. Hero, The Recovery, We Fight Like Lions

all shows all ages 12510 15th Ave NE • 206-364-8815 • thelabatsds.com The Seattle Drum School • guitar, bass, saxophone, trumpet, dj, piano, voice & drum lessons • seattledrumschool.com

58

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

LIVE/DJ

K ANGAROO & KIWI KIWI KANGAROO Up From Down Under Since April 2001

★ TOST Michael Shrieve’s Spellbinder, Guests, $5

JULY 18 - RUGBY: AUSTRALIA VS N.Z. & IN THE EARLY EVENING “LUBE WRESTLING”

TRACTOR TAVERN

Monday Square Dance: The Tallboys , 7 pm, $5 TULA’S Al Keith Group, 7:30 pm, $5 ★ VERA PROJECT So Many Dynamos, Cast Spells, Police Teeth , 7:30 pm, $7-$8 WHISKY BAR Guitar Hero Tournament: Guests

7305 Aurora Ave N. Seattle. WA kangarooandkiwipub.com

206.297.0507

DJ Collage , Element a HALO Salsa Practica: Guests, 7:30 pm, $4/$6 ★ HAVANA Sad Bastard Mondays: Guests, free LAVA LOUNGE Rockabilly Night: Guest DJ ★ MOE BAR Outsourced: Risky Business, 9 pm

FREM O N T

7.8 WEDNESDAY

NECTAR & ACKNOWLEDGE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENT

TUES

PIMPS OF JOYTIME

7/14

LUCKY BROWN $8 | 8PM DOORS | 21+

LIV E

7.9 THURSDAY

NECTAR PRESENTS

★ CAN CAN Sun Records Revival: Vince Mira, Russell Clepper, 8 pm CAPITOL CLUB Flamenco Guitar with Eric and Encarnacion, 9 pm

EMERALD SPRINTS

HEAD TO HEAD INDOOR ROLLER RACING W/ SPECIAL GUEST PERFORMANCES BY: CHK MINUS, DJ SESSIONS & HOSTED BY THOMAS GRAY OF CHAMPAGNE CHAMPAGNE PRIZES & 42BELOW DRINK SPECIALS ALL NIGHT FREE!! NO COVER | 8PM DOORS | RACING AT 8:30 - 10:30PM | 21+

CENTRAL SALOON

Aroarah, the Wrecked Chords , Sickeversince CHOP SUEY Men, Team Gina , Your Heart Breaks, 7 pm, $10/$12 a CLUB MOTOR Warsaw Poland Bros, Natalie Wouldn’t, Ideal Green, 8 pm, $8 CONOR BYRNE Ol’ Time Social: Guests EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Jazz Ambassadors , Jessie Sawyers, 7 pm a EL CORAZON Gunbunny , Audioart, Novahead Vs. Chickentron, 8 pm, $8/$10

7.10 FRIDAY

BOMBHIPHOP.COM PRESENTS THE RETURN OF…

PRINCE VS MICHAEL W/ DJS DAVE PAUL & INDICA JONES $7 | 9PM DOORS | 21+

7.11 SATURDAY NECTAR PRESENTS

THEE EMERGENCY

ASTRONAUTALIS, WE ARE NOT A CULT, DJ CURTIS .50 CENT PBR & $5 “YOU CALL IT” SHOTS FROM 9 -10:30PM FREE - NO COVER! | 9PM | 21+

7.12 SUNDAY

NECTAR PRESENTS CHEMISTRY EP RELEASE PARTY

FAIRE GALLERY CAFE

GRYNCH

presents

SOL, TUNJI, ROCKWELL POWERS, DJ MARC SENSE HOSTED BY GEOLOGIC OF BLUE SCHOLARS $7 ADV | 8PM DOORS | ALL AGES

HEALTHY TIMES FUN

NECTAR & OBESE PRODUCTIONS PRESENT

CAGE

YAK BALLZ, RUDY & THE RHETORIC, SADISTIK $12 ADV | 8PM | ALL AGES + BAR

7.14 TUESDAY

NECTAR PRESENTS:

OTS TRIO

W/ SPECIAL GUESTS $6 | 8PM DOORS | 21+

7.15 WEDNESDAY NECTAR PRESENTS:

GMK w/3 Piece Band PEOPLES w/ ALTO & R.O.B. STATE OF THE ARTIST

NEW ORLEANS

Holotradband, 7 pm PARAGON The Fiasco RENDEZVOUS ADHD, Kinkakuji Temple, 10 pm a STUDIO SEVEN Knowmads, J Son, Moth1ne, Suede, 8 pm, $10 SUNSET TAVERN Rock Plaza Central, 9 pm, $6 TOST Jarrod Taylor, Andie Francouer, Dan Torok, 8 pm, $5

DJ EVIL TWINZ $6 BEFORE 11 PM / $8 AFTER | 9PM DOORS | 21+

7.17 FRIDAY

NECTAR PRESENTS:

ELDRIDGE GRAVY and THE COURT SUPREME 7.18 SATURDAY

BOLLYGROOVES

SUMMER EDITION W/ DJ ANSHUL AND DJ VICTOR SPINNIN’ THE BEST OF BOLLYWOOD & INTERNATIONAL FIRST 75 GIRLS FREE WITH EMAIL TO GROOVYNITES@GMAIL.COM $10 BEFORE 11:30/$12 AFTER | 10PM DOORS | 21+

Friday Show hosted by The Stranger’s Paul Constant!

TRACTOR TAVERN

Handsome Family, Daniel Knox, 9 pm, $12/$15 TRIPLE DOOR CeU, 8 pm, $25/$28 TULA’S Emerald City Jazz Orchestra, 7:30 pm, $5 a WAMU THEATER Demi Lovato, David Archuleta, 8 pm, $39.50-$49.50 ★ WAR ROOM Loving Thunder, Weirdlords, Brawley Banks

UP + COMING 7.19 DOOM TREE 7.21 THE PRESSURE 7.22 CHEAP MEAT SUITS - 2ND ALBUM RELEASE 7.23 CAETY SAGOIAN 7.24 PICOSO 7.26 KOSHA DILLS 7.28 TEA COZIES 7.29 NIYORAH 7.30 AS THE DEVIL DANCES 7.31 4TH ANNUAL JERRY GARCIA CELEBRATION 8.1 GARAJ MAHAL

SEATTLE’S BEST HAPPY HOUR 4-7 PM TUES-SAT, 2-7PM SUN! WWW.NECTARLOUNGE.COM

412 N 36TH ST. 206-632-2020 ADVANCED TICKETS AVAIL AT SONIC BOOM, WWW.TICKETWEB.COM & THE NECTAR BOX OFFICE (OPEN TUES-SAT 4-8P, CASH ONLY, NO SERVICE CHARGE)

Bastille Day Celebration: JusB Faire Band, 6 pm FUNHOUSE B-Lines, Prison, Scraps, 9:30 pm, $5 CLUB Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, Cryptacize, Ribbons HIGH DIVE Westerly , Uncle Doodad , the Foghorns , 9 pm, $6 JAZZ ALLEY Fourplay, 9:30 pm, $35 LITTLE RED HEN T&D Revue, 9 pm THE MIX Tuesday Jazz Jam: Don Mock, Steve Kim, 8 pm, $5 MR. SPOTS Tom Vollman NECTAR OTS Trio, 8 pm, $6

7.13 MONDAY

EMERALD CITY SOUL CLUB $8 | 9PM DOORS | 21+

LAVA LOUNGE Doctor Jonze ★ LO-FI Stop Biting: Hideki, Introcut, Absolute Madman, Wd4d , Ohmega Watts, Element, Same DNA, Sage Nomad, Orbitron, 9 pm, $4 SEE SOUND LOUNGE

House Call: Guests, 8 pm TRINITY The Social: Kazan

DJ BALTIC ROOM Jam Jam:

IN

HAVANA Hollyhood:

Tigerbeat

WHITE RIVER AMPHITHEATRE Marilyn

Manson, Slayer, Killswitch Engage, Bullet For My Valentine, Trivium, Cannibal Corpse, Job for a Cowboy, 2:15 pm, $25-$99 DJ

MIDNIGHT MOVIE

@ 12 : 30 FRI, JULY 10 & SAT, JULY 11

BALTIC ROOM Drum &

Bass Tuesdays: 9 pm CENTURY BALLROOM Kat,

9:30 pm, $4/$6 GEORGETOWN LIQUOR COMPANY Punk and 80s:

Guest DJs

WED

7/15 LIV E CENTRAL SALOON First

Minute First Round, 9 pm ★ COMET Jack Wilson & the Wife Stealers , 6 pm; Speaker Speaker , Branden Daniel & Everybody Gets Laid , Cold Cold Ground, Wildcat Choir, 7 pm, $6 DISTRICT LOUNGE Eric Fridrich, Steve Kim, 8 pm, free EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Vocal Jam: Kim Rushing, 9 pm FUNHOUSE Poop, Heavy Guerrilla, the Filibusters, 9:30 pm, $6 HIGH DIVE Fall on Fall, To the Sea , Goldfinch, 9 pm, $6 JAZZ ALLEY Fourplay, 9:30 pm, $35 THE JOSEPHINE Caravels KELL’S Corner Bhoys LO-FI Rub: 9 pm, $5 THE MIX The Nightshirt MR. SPOTS Aiden James, Namoli Brennet, Brian Kenny Fresno, 8 pm NECTAR GMK, Peoples, Alto, R.O.B., State Of The Artist, Evil Twin , 9 pm, $6/$8 after 11 pm ★ NEUMOS Dow Constantine Fundraiser: Hey Marseilles , Born Anchors , Final Spins, 8 pm NEW ORLEANS Legacy Band, Clarence Acox OHANA Live Island Music OWL ‘N THISTLE Farco Jam Madness: Guests PARAGON Two Buck Chuck RENDEZVOUS

Correspondents, Saint Siren, Brad Dunn , 10 pm a RICHMOND BEACH COMMUNITY PARK Becki Sue & Her Big Rockin’ Daddies, 7 pm, free SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Ivan & Alyosha ,

Ghost Ship, 9 pm, $5 SHOWBOX SODO Astrovan, Plaster , Tsavo , 8 pm, $5 ★ THE STEPPING STONE Crimes In Modern Architecture, 8:30 pm a STUDIO SEVEN Matthew and Moses, Mads Jacobsen, Jordani, Invisible Giants , Michael J. Good, 6:45 pm, $10 SUNSET TAVERN Sara Lov, Trentalange , 9 pm, $8 TRACTOR TAVERN

Devices , Stereo Sons , Tea Cozies , 9 pm, $6 TRIPLE DOOR CeU, 8 pm, $25/$28 TULA’S Vern Sielert Dektet, 7:30 pm, $8 ★ WAR ROOM On the Roof: Hump Day Happy Hour: Fortune Kiki, 5 pm DJ CENTURY BALLROOM

Century Swing, 9 pm, $7 CUFF C & W Dancing: Guests, 8:30 pm ★ HAVANA Nasty’s: Sean Cee, Guests LAST SUPPER CLUB X-Box Rock Band: Guests PARLOR ULTRA LOUNGE

Flirt! Singles’ Night: Guests SEE SOUND LOUNGE Fade: Guests, 6 pm; Qool: free, Guests, 10 pm TOST Bless: Dub Championz, DJ Million, Adrian Xavier , 9 pm, $5 TRINITY Pulse: Jason Curtis, Guests, free ★ WAR ROOM Hard Times: L.A. Kendall, Mathematix, Curtis, Naha, Ponyboy, 10 pm, $5

CITY

F E AT U R E

SUGGESTS

ARTS

CHOW

MUSIC

FILM

THE STRANGER

July 9, 2009

59

FILM CONCESSIONS

BY LINDY WEST

DISNEY’S A CHRISTMAS CAROL: THE MOVIE, THE TRAIN!!!!!!!

HUMPDAY Mark Duplass, Lynn Shelton, and Joshua Leonard get humpy.

that’s becoming Shelton’s stylistic calling card. But how does one reliably create moments that feel found?

“Casting is so important,” Shelton told me last month in the SIFF suite at the W Hotel. While Shelton conceives the basic story, she says, “the ideas of characters are fleshed out by actors, and the performers B Y D AV I D S C H M A D E R come up with their own words.” Preshoot preparation involves “talk, texturizing of characters’ backstories, but no rehearsal, ynn Shelton’s Humpday is no stranger to The Stranger, just discussion.” When it’s time to shoot, and vice versa. Last September, Shelton became the sixth the actors are set free to do what they do, director Shelton overseeing the action recipient of The Stranger’s annual Genius Award for Film, an with and letting scenes wander where they may, As you know, Shelton’s film announces itself knowing they can be pruned down to essenhonor that earned the Seattle-bred filmmaker a big cake, a big party, and a $5,000 cash prize. with a ridiculous premise: A pair of thirtysome- tials in the editing room.

With actors functioning as de facto screenAt the time of the 2008 Genius Awards, Shelton thing, heterosexual male friends decide to have was wrapping up filming on her third feature, sex on film and submit the results to an amateur- writers, casting is crucial, and Shelton wisely Humpday, which takes its name and central porn competition. From this iffy point of depar- placed a well-seasoned mumblecore veteran at plot device from HUMP!, The Stranger’s an- ture, Shelton spins a small cinematic miracle: a the center of the Humpday experiment: Mark nual amateur-porn competition, wherein adult deep, hilarious, completely contemporary rela- Duplass, cocreator and star of 2005’s The Puffy films made by locals are screened for packed tionship comedy that explores with almost sci- Chair and a naturalist actor of extraordinary houses who rank their favorites. After the final entific precision how such a ridiculous premise warmth and skill, whose work Shelton came to would play out in real life. Crucial to love while shooting still photographs of True screening, the master tapes are deHumpday Humpday’s success is its style, with Adolescents, Craig Johnson’s Duplass-led stroyed before the audience’s eyes. dir. Lynn Shelton writer/director Shelton continuing film that also played SIFF 2009. “Watching (As HUMP! host Dan Savage puts it, “Be a porn star for a weekend, not for the her quest for what she calls “total naturalism.” him act, I was really impressed,” says ShelThis quest commenced with Shelton’s second ton, who soon after pitched Duplass the idea rest of your life on the internet.”)

But these facts—more points of interest feature, last year’s well-regarded My Effortless of a film about two straight guys who decide than conflicts of interest—are the least inter- Brilliance, in which Shelton found her desired to have sex. “Originally, I envisioned Mark as esting thing about Humpday, a tiny, local in- naturalism—there’s not a moment in the film the wild one, but he fought to play the domesdependent film that’s met with international that feels forced—though audiences were re- ticated Ben,” Shelton tells me. “He’d gotten success, from a splashy premiere at Sundance minded that sometimes pure naturalism leaves married and was having a kid, and he was (where the film earned raves and sparked a something to be desired. (Many of Brilliance’s totally feeling that character’s story. I told him this required bidding war among distributors) to inclusion unforced stretches him to help me in the Directors’ Fortnight at Cannes, where could’ve used some The result is a plot-driven film find someone who the audience feted Humpday’s leading men directorial forcing.)

With Humpday, with a several-minute standing ovation. Last composed of what feel like could fill the other role and match month, Humpday was the Centerpiece Gala Shelton’s aim for found moments—a rich trick him on-screen, and at the 2009 Seattle International Film Festi- the tiny moments he immediately val, with Shelton named first runner-up for that hold explothat’s becoming Shelton’s brought up Joshua SIFF’s Best Director honors. This weekend, sions has improved stylistic calling card.

Leonard, who of Humpday begins its proper theatrical run, exponentially, as course had expeand if you’re an appreciator of tiny indie My Effortless Brilflicks that pack a surprising punch (aesthetic liance’s pockets of inspiration are stretched rience working in this nonacting acting style referents: John Cassavetes, Chuck & Buck, into Humpday’s feature-length triumph. from The Blair Witch Project.”

Humpday’s leads carry the majority of the Nicole Holofcener, “mumblecore”), you must The result is a plot-driven film composed of see Humpday. what feel like found moments—a rich trick movie, but the heart of the film is Anna, the

Fuck Buddies

After a Triumphant World Tour, Lynn Shelton’s Humpday Comes Home

L

Publicists are paid to be excited, I know, but the e-mail entitled “ALL ABOARD! ‘DISNEY’S A CHRISTMAS CAROL’ TRAIN TOUR ROLLS INTO SEATTLE” went further.

It was glee beyond glee. Unrestrained, celestial joy. Clearly this mysterious Train du Disney was an experience so sublime that mere mortals would be lucky to escape with our lives, because awesomeness is an infection AND WE ALL MIGHT DIE OF IT. And so I, the brave and curious, RSVP’d, and so the publicist (a lovely gal—I kid because I love) responded: “Heck yes!

Come on by around 8am so you can sleep in and be prepared to be blown away!!!

I am with the train in Portland and it is AMAZING!!!!!” Exclamation. Points.

Disney’s A Christmas Carol: The Train, which will visit 40 cities in the next few months (“Christmas in July!”), is essentially a giant press kit. Only instead of being some papers and stuff tucked into a Pee Chee folder, IT IS A TRAIN. The film (which comes out November 6) is, clearly, just what the world needs—yet another Christmas Carol adaptation (!!!), this time rendered in Polar Express–style motion capture and starring Jim Carrey in SEVEN ROLES “including all three ghosts.” Yep. You know you want it, human!

The first car displays portraits of the cast in their CGI-enhanced roles: Carrey as warty old Scrooge and pimply young Scrooge, Cary Elwes (so doughy now!) as Dick Wilkins, Bob Hoskins as Mr. Fezziwig, Colin Firth as Fred, Gary Oldman as Tiny Fucking Tim. Video screens show cast members opining, embarrassingly, about Dickens: “It’s such a well-written book. It’s a brilliant piece,” offers Hoskins. You don’t say!

The concept art of snowbound 19thcentury London is gorgeous (if a little Thomas Kincadey) and got the corny Anglophile in me all atwitter. And the raw footage of Firth and Carrey acting together in their motion-capture space suits is fascinating—evoking weird, minimalist theater more than multibillion-dollar filmmaking. The motion-capture technology itself (Robert Zemeckis’s unhealthy obsession—pull yourself together, man!), thankfully, seems much improved since 2007’s dismal Beowulf: You can see its potential for twitchy naturalism and emotional range and fun, uncanny grotesquerie.

And though I’m not quite convinced that those were lacking in traditional animation OR traditional human acting, I’m interested to see what A Christmas Carol delivers.

Because the train, really, is amazing. You make a convincing pitch, train! (Oh, and if you want to go see the train, um, sorry. It’s already in Fargo or some shit.)

On my way out, I asked the publicist, “Wow, who has the money to do all this in this economy?” And she replied, “DISNEY!!!!” Hmm. Perhaps Disney pays by the exclamation point. (If so, are you hiring?

Because THEY’RE!!! MY!!!!! SPECIALTYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). ■

60

July 9, 2009

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A Tribute to the 2 Burts!

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domesticated Ben’s not-so-domesticated wife, played to quiet perfection by Alycia Delmore, a Seattle actress Shelton’s been hungering to work with since casting her in a small role in her 2006 directorial debut, We Go Way Back. Another crucial female role in Shelton’s bromance is played by Shelton herself, who more than holds her own on-screen and wonders if she’ll try it again. “I don’t know how people do it,” says Shelton of directors who star in their own films. “I love to act, but acting and directing at the same time is insane. It’s hard for me to turn off my director’s brain.”

It’s unlikely Shelton will be able to turn off her director’s brain anytime soon, as the success of Humpday is opening a variety of doors for the 43-year-old filmmaker. Will

Shelton soon be helming summer blockbusters? “It would be foolish to not take advantage of opportunities, bigger budgets, all that,” says Shelton, who admits she’s fielding a variety of offers. “But my next project is my little movie with Sherman and Sean”— that’s Sherman Alexie and Sean Nelson, two Seattle notables with notable ties to The Stranger, whom Shelton will film engaging in a My Dinner with Andre–esque discussion.

It’s another iffy premise—but after Humpday, Shelton’s iffy premises can be seen as the first step toward brilliance. ■

Do it yourself! HUMP! 5 is coming. Info at

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It took four years following the end of the Vietnam War for any filmmaker—specifically Francis Ford Coppola—to be able to make sense of the sheer madness of the conflict. It almost drove Coppola insane. The Iraq war doesn’t appear to be ending anytime soon—and without much distance, the crop of narrative films about it so far has been relatively unimpressive.

In spite of the lack of historical perspective, Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker manages to be a completely engrossing war film. Unlike recent Iraq war movies such as Stop-Loss and Redacted, The Hurt Locker communicates the absolute insanity, chaos, tension, psychological impact, and sudden brutality of war without beating you over the head with the war-is-bad stick.

The Hurt Locker follows a three-man explosive ordnance disposal unit in Iraq as they trudge from bomb site to bomb site, defusing explosives, all while under constant threat of attack. There is no villain, the squad members aren’t pithy tough guys, there is no overarching mission the squad must complete in three acts—their lone goal is survival.

Bigelow hasn’t lost her flair for staging brilliant action scenes since directing modern cinema’s finest surf-heist movie, Point Break, nearly two decades ago.

The Hurt Locker’s numerous bombdisarmament scenes are pants-shittingly tense, and a cat-and-mouse sniper battle sequence is riveting.

Bigelow also draws impressive performances from a cast of relative unknowns, whose presence in the film—instead of big-name actors, whose fame subtly distances them from peril—greatly heightens the tension. The brief appearances by recognizable faces such as Guy Pearce and Ralph Fiennes do much to drive this point home.

Unlikely as it seems, the woman who made a career out of directing Keanu Reeves as a surfing FBI agent and Bill Paxton as a vampire has churned out what might be the most unnerving, nail-biting, and engagingly relevant war film in years. JONAH SPANGENTHAL-LEE

rainy streets of post-WWII Japan? What more do you need to know?

This, I suppose: The fight choreography is satisfying (if not revolutionary), the few dashes of CGI have a rubbery aftertaste (don’t they always?), and Edo-era fetishists (quaint villages with everything made of rope and bamboo!) get their fix in an extensive series of flashback battles. The best fight of the whole film, in fact, pits a graybeard with a perpetually surprised expression against a host of black-clad demons who keep popping out of the leafy ground like whack-a-moles. Whack-a-moles with deadly swords and nasty attitudes.

(And just who are those armies of anonymous guys in every martial-arts movie, anyway?

What about their hopes and dreams and dumb inside jokes? We’ve had enough movies about lost princes and warrior queens and multicentury feuds between inscrutable, clichéd mystics. Let’s make just one movie about the highly trained ninja schlubs and what they do on their off nights, when they’re not dying quick, spectacular deaths. It’d be revolutionary—a chop-socky Catch22. Anyway.)

The other fetishists who will enjoy Blood are people who love Japanese schoolgirls who can kill everything in sight. Our hero Saya (the poker-faced Gianna Jun) is halfvampire, half–Sailor Moon (she may be 400, but she only looks 14!) and works for a quasi-American agency fighting an invisible war with demon hordes. It turns out the epicenter for the mother of all demon fights will happen not far from an American military base in occupied Japan. Enter a bossy American general; enter his hapless daughter who gets caught up in the action; enter a shady American secret society; enter hordes of evil zombie creatures; enter Saya, the Sailor Moon samurai; enter the dragon lady—aka Japanese actress Koyuki, playing the evil demon queen by not saying much and smiling wanly while turning people into messy splatters of meat. (Useless IMDB trivia: Koyuki played volleyball while she was a student.)

So there you have it, folks. Another supernatural Asian action movie with swords and gore and vendettas and a chick dressed up like a schoolgirl waving around her big sword. Happy summer, America. BRENDAN KILEY

The Hurt Locker communicates the absolute insanity, chaos, tension, psychological impact, and sudden brutality of war without beating you over the head with the war-is-bad stick.

Blood: The Last Vampire dir. Chris Nahon A Japanese action movie about demons and vampires slicing open each other’s guts in the mean,

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62

July 9, 2009

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FILM SHORTS More reviews and movie times: thestranger.com/film

LIMITED RUN ★ 48 HOUR FILM PROJECT AWARDS

Fifty-two fly filmmaking teams (comprising almost 800 participants) had exactly 48 hours to create their masterpieces. This screening honors the 2009 festival’s top entries. Harvard Exit, Thurs July 9 at 9 pm.

BACK TO THE GARDEN, FLOWER POWER COMES FULL CIRCLE

This documentary (which screened at SIFF this year) is about old hippies who join a back-to-the-land movement in Eastern Washington. It suggests that the modern-day environmental movement is finally catching up to hippies who dropped out decades ago.

Apparently, Rick Steves says it is “a flat out wonderful film.” Free. Queen Anne United Methodist Church, Sat July 11 at 7 pm. ★ DELIVERANCE

Pick-a-ting-ting-ting-ting-ting-tingtiiiiing... Grand Illusion, Fri 7 pm, Sat-Sun 3, 7 pm, Mon-Wed 7 pm.

DUST & ILLUSIONS

This documentary explores the 30-year history of Burning Man, “while examining whether the festival is a victim of its own success.” Youngstown Cultural Arts Center, Fri July 10 at 8 pm. ★ EVANGELION 1.0: YOU ARE (NOT) ALONE

For every sort-of-accessible Japanese animated film like Akira or Princess Mononoke, there are thousands of movies about ninja assassin bears and cross-dressing robots that are just impenetrably weird. Evangelion 1.0 falls somewhere in the middle.

Introverted teen Shinji Murakami is enlisted to pilot a giant robot— which may or may not be alive—for

NOW THAT SHE’S HERE THERE WILL BE BLOOD.

“A WORLD-

FIDEL

The life of the controversial Cuban leader unfolds in this 2001 documentary, which includes rare personal footage and interviews with the likes of Angela Davis, Alice Walker, and Harry Belafonte. Free. 1423 10th Ave, Sun July 12 at 5 pm.

THE GAY DECEIVERS

Two men pretend to be gay in order to dodge the draft in late-’60s America.

Northwest Film Forum, Thurs July 9 at 8 pm.

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a secretive government agency and tasked with defending Tokyo from giant space monsters (called “angels”), which mysteriously appear, stomp buildings, and screech their screechy space sounds. Evangelion 1.0 is filled with giant robots, esoteric biblical references, teenage angst, and space aliens, but the series has (thankfully) been pared down from its original 15-year-old, 26-episode run into four films with some slightly redone effects and animation, apparently in an attempt to breathe new life into a series that developed a sizable following back in its heyday. If you hate anime, you’ll hate Neon Genesis Evangelion. It’s weird, it sometimes makes little sense, and it’s packed with the strange tropes common in Japanese cartoons. However, if you’re a sci-fi nerd—meaning you can get past lines like “Either we stop that angel, or humanity’s future ends here!” and “Retracting umbilical bridge!”— or fondly remember Neon Genesis Evangelion from your virginal days in the high school A/V club, there’s still some life and enjoyable space monster weirdness left in the revamped series. (JONAH SPANGENTHALLEE) Grand Illusion, Thurs July 9 at 7, 9 pm.

AMC PACIFIC PLACE 11 LANDMARK’S VARSITY THEATRE 4329 University Way N.E., Seattle 600 Pine St, Seattle (206) 781-5755 (206) 652-2404 w w w. b l o o d t h e l a s t va m p i r e - m o v i e . c o m

Six reasons I choose not to have friends.

Reason 1: WHO FREAKIN’ NEEDS THEM? I was watching a rerun of Friends the other day and was like, “Omigod, what a bunch of walking anal cavities!” Seriously, why would these people choose to hang out with—or worse still—live with each other? They have absolutely NOTHING in common, other than the fact they’re all stereotypes. I hate Joey, I hate Phoebe, I hate Jennifer Aniston, I hate the guy with the monkey, I hate his bitchy sister, and I would hate Chandler, too, but I’m pretty sure he’d hate me first. So that’s one reason I don’t have real-life friends—because TV’s Friends is a direct representation of the whole of humanity. Except for maybe vampires.

Reason 2: FRIENDS HURT YOUR FEELINGS! When I was in the fifth grade, Greg Horton was my best friend. We would share Hot Wheels, juice boxes, our adoration for Shirley Roundtree, and—much later— the sexually transmitted diseases Shirley Roundtree shared with our 10th-grade class.

However! One day something happened that shattered my perfect relationship with Greg Horton. Something that can never be forgotten or forgiven. He came to school with a fucking ridiculous haircut, and I said, “What did you do? Fall asleep under the lawnmower?” He never spoke to me again.

That’s why I don’t want friends, because they might say something like that to me.

Reason 3: TECHNOLOGY TRUMPS FRIENDSHIP. Thanks to modern technol-

★ HAKU INOA: TO WEAVE A NAME

This personal documentary charts one woman’s determination to unite her family and understand her name, while dealing with her mother’s advancing mental illness and issues of Native Hawaiian identity. Central Cinema, Wed July 15 at 6 pm.

JULIE DARLING A.K.A. DAUGHTER OF DEATH

A rarely screened, incesty thriller about a girl who loves her dad SO MUCH that she just fucking murders everyone who isn’t him. Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat 11 pm.

LESS THAN ZERO

Based (kind of) on the novel by Bret Easton Ellis, Less Than Zero stars Robert Downey Jr., a teenager in Beverly Hills who loses a lot of weight on the Jenny Crack diet, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Central Cinema, Thurs 9:30 pm, Fri-Tues 7, 9:30 pm.

MADE IN U.S.A.

Jean-Luc Godard’s 1966 noir has been unavailable in the U.S. since its release more than 40 years ago. This new 35 mm print (for its Seattle debut) reveals the film in all its cool, stylish, Americaobsessed weirdness. The storyline is familiar, if obscured: Anna Karina (she of cold gaze and downturned mouth) searches for her husband’s killer in Godard’s half-French, half-imaginary vision of Atlantic City. Along the way, she meets various pulpy, hard-boiled characters; hits stuff with her shoe; encounters many sudden loudnesses (jet engines, phones, trucks, gunshots, knocks, pinballs, orchestral blasts); and tangles with problems of math, age, time, and definition. “Yes, we were in a political movie,” she says, “meaning Walt Disney with blood.” (LINDY

ogy, “friendship” is unnecessary and old timey! I can collect “friends” on Facebook, brag to these “friends” about my exploits on MySpace, and be bored to death by my “friends’” activities on Twitter. AND I NEVER HAVE TO ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH ANY OF THEM! It’s like having imaginary friends, without the inconvenience of being confined to a mental facility.

Reason 4: FRIENDS RARELY ACT LIKE THEY DO ON ENTOURAGE. (By the way, Entourage returns with a brand-new season this Sunday on HBO at 10:00 p.m., if you care.

I don’t.) You know, I tried putting together an entourage once. Disaster. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say if you’re looking for an entourage, try something other than the “Casual Encounters” section on Craigslist.

Reason 5: I’M KIND OF A DICK. For reasons I can’t quite explain, people are wary of striking up friendships with someone who classifies himself as “kind of a dick.”

I tend to be festive—but cruel. Girlfriends and boyfriends are unsafe in my presence.

While I enjoy borrowing money, returning it isn’t a priority. However, there are those who can make this “kind of a dick” thing work. For example, check out the debut of a new laff-fest on Comedy Central entitled Michael & Michael Have Issues (Wed July 15, 10:30 pm). It’s a sketch-comedy show starring the legitimately hilarious Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, who are two friends who star in a sketch-comedy show. Aaaand they’re both kind of dicks. I suppose I could try to be their friend… but I kind of hate people who are dicks.

And finally, reason 6: FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK. A great reason not to have friends. ■

Comment on I ♥ Television™ at thestranger.com

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FILM SHORTS WEST) Northwest Film Forum, Thurs July 9 at 7, 9 pm.

MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND

“He’s some kind of a blind fiend.” “I believe they prefer visually challenged fiend.” Egyptian, Fri-Sat midnight. ★ OBJECTIFIED

This new documentary by Gary Hustwit (Helvetica) explores the relationships (sometimes beneficial, sometimes disastrous) between modern humans and the mountains of stuff we manufacture. See Stranger Suggests, page 17. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Wed 7, 9 pm. ★ PEE-WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE

“Merci beaucoup, Pee-Wee!” “Mercibleh-bleh!” Fremont Outdoor Movies, Sat July 11 at 9:45 pm.

PRESSURE COOKER

A group of Philadelphia high-school students take part in one inspirational teacher’s “culinary boot camp,” in this heartfelt documentary. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Wed 7, 9 pm.

REBUILDING HOPE

Jan Marlowe’s work-in-progress documentary follows three young refugees (some of the so-called “Lost Boys”) attempting to return to Sudan. Marlowe will be in attendance for a discussion following the film. Free. Keystone Church, Fri July 10 at 7 pm. ★ THE SWIMMER

Burt Lancaster stars as a man who decides to “swim home” by visiting each of his neighbor’s swimming pools in succession, usually stopping for a Proustian cocktail and some sort of dewy epigram about faded glory. As he progresses, we inch ever closer to discovering his mysterious secret, something his well-to-do Connecticut friends seem all too willing to keep sub rosa. Easily one of the weirdest mainstream movies ever, The Swimmer (based on the short story by John Cheever) is camp existentialism at its 1968 best, from the man who would go on to direct Mommy Dearest.

Grand Illusion, Fri 9 pm, Sat-Sun 5, 9 pm, Mon-Wed 9 pm. ★ TWENTIETH CENTURY

A 1934 screwball comedy by Howard Hawks with John Barrymore and Carole Lombard as actors who chance to run into each other again aboard the Twentieth Century Express. Seattle Art Museum, Thurs July 9 at 7:30 pm.

WATER CALLING

Five local artists (including Britta Johnson and Susan Robb) screen short films about preserving and valuing Seattle’s water. Free. Central Cinema, Thurs July 9 at 7 pm.

Burt (John Krasinski) and his partner Verona (Maya Rudolph) discover that they’re pregnant and head out into the world, fairy-tale-style, to find the perfect place to raise their child. But even as the prospective parents leave all the knickknacks and junk of their home behind, they carry that messy chaos with them. If you’ve ever consciously considered how to live your life while doing the least harm possible to others, or if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the amassing of little responsibilities that happens when you become an adult, or if you’ve ever wondered if you’re a fuckup, Away We Go (written by McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers and his wife, Vendela Vida, and directed by Sam Mendes) is a rare movie that’s meant just for you. (PAUL CONSTANT) ★ CAPTAIN ABU RAED

Sad, old Abu Raed, airport janitor and white-bearded widower, lives alone in his dim apartment, making tea for his dead wife and telling her about his days. Raed finds a pilot’s hat in the trash, wears it up the dusty Jordanian steps of his dusty Jordanian slum, and a big, hopeful lie is born. The kids want Abu Raed to be a hero, Abu Raed wants to be somebody’s hero—really, somebody’s anything— so he tells them long stories about nonexistent adventures in London, Paris, Egypt, wherever. Of course, the obligatory kid-embittered-beyondhis-years finds out Abu Raed isn’t a pilot and informs the others with the sad, sadistic delight of the class bully announcing there’s no Santa

July 9, 2009

63

THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER HAS ARRIVED.”

“ Claus. “People like us don’t grow up to be pilots,” he says ruefully, before dragging himself back to his deadend life and drunken, abusive father.

(BRENDAN KILEY) HANGOVER

The Hangover is a waste of a fairly genius premise (three dudes wake up after an all-night Vegas rampage with a baby, a tiger, and amnesia).

There are funny moments, definitely (really!), but approximately all of them involve whatever’s happening between Zach Galifianakis’s neck and Zach Galifianakis’s hair. Because the dude is a comedy treasure (and if this movie causes him to “jump” any “sharks” like my beloved Jack Black, I am prepared to fight everyone [FYI: I HAVE WOLF RABIES]). The stuff that’s actually written down is mostly cheap gay jokes (“Paging Dr. Faggot!”) and cheaper OMG-I-can’t-believe-they-went-there jokes (“Our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch somewhere with a methhead buttfucking his corpse”). Please. I laughed harder at Old Yeller. (LINDY WEST) ★ MOON

Blue-collar worker Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) lives alone on an energymining colony on the moon. As he nears the end of his three-year hitch, he gradually starts to lose his mind.

Sam suspects his HAL-like helper robot Gerty (voiced with delicious apathy by Kevin Spacey) of colluding with his superiors in some kind of a conspiracy. Just as he starts to prickle at his robotic companion, he encounters, impossibly, another Sam Bell, identical to him in almost every way, on the station. It’s in these scenes—Rockwell interacting with Rockwell—where the movie really finds its power. He does a fine job of staying somewhat likable (never entirely likable, to his credit), and, most notably, he never overacts.

Moon is one of those rare films that prove that you can do great, intelligent sci-fi with a tiny budget. (PAUL CONSTANT) ★ PUBLIC ENEMIES

Finally, after an incredibly disappointing string of crappy, halfhearted summer movie releases, we get to the good stuff. Public Enemies is entertainment for adults, a cat-and-mouse period thriller riddled with glamour, excitement, and real cinematic craftsmanship. Michael Mann, solidly rebounding from 2006’s disastrous Miami Vice remake, seems to be having the time of his life mythologizing John Dillinger, and he gets the

most out of his cast, too. This isn’t the best movie he’s ever directed (longish stretches of the film lack structure and the score veers into generic territory fairly often), but it’s probably the most entertaining. Even a couple of heavy-handed moments that accentuate the government’s willingness to torture in a “war on crime”—government-sanctioned torture on film is so 2008—can’t make Enemies any less thrilling. (PAUL CONSTANT)

Honestly, I have no problem with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

It is exactly what it’s supposed to be: a movie based on a line of plastic dolls, in which trucks turn into robots and vice versa and shit blows up for 150 minutes and sometimes Megan Fox’s boobs do things in slow motion.

Mission fucking accomplished. This might be the only film franchise for which Michael Bay is absolutely, preternaturally suited. But when a whole movie is just one long climax (Sting-style, you know), it’s hard not to feel anticlimactic at the actual climax. That’s what happens in T:ROTF. After two hours of constant destruction—really just one long sustained, indistinguishable whirl of shiny metal punctuated by explosions (lots)—the Big Finish, wherein the evil are vanquished and the good high-five (oh... spoiler?), is hardly noticeable. Does that bother you? No? Fair enough, then. Have at it. (LINDY WEST) WHATEVER WORKS

Larry David plays Boris Yellnikoff, a grouchy, mildly OCD, tattered genius.

He spends his time condescending to people, teaching angry chess to children in the park, and failing to pull off fourth-wall-shattering asides to the audience. Boris’s comfy intellectual cocoon splits wide open when he discovers Melody St. Ann Celestine (Evan Rachel Wood) on his doorstep, a pretty young thing fresh off the Southern-naivete truck. He lets her inside, is reluctantly charmed, marries her, and finds something close to contentment. For a while.

You know. Woody Allen, obviously, maintains his old talent for acidic quips, and David is unparalleled in delivering them. Whatever Works is a semientertaining but weirdly flat fable. Allen wrote the script in the early ‘70s, and though he’s supposedly updated it to reflect our current issues and obsessions, Whatever Works is inescapably dated. Corny, in fact. (LINDY WEST)

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COSTUME JOHN BISSELL PRODUCTION DESIGNER KARL JÚLÍUSSON DESIGNER GEORGE LIT TLE SOUND DESIGN PAUL N.J. OTTOSSON EDITORS BOB MURAWSKI CHRIS INNIS EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY BARRY ACKROYD, BSC PRODUCER TONY MARK PRODUCED WRITTEN

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WITH CASH & PAY TOP DOLLAR FOR Hypnosis & Addictions Counselor No physical involved. Free parking YOUR CAR ! GET CASH FOR YOUR 206-417-4900 & Compensation 206/277-1058 or CAR @SEATTLECAHSFORCARS.COM 866/577-1913 WOMENÕS SUPPORT GROUP 206-679-2167 weekly in Capitol Hill facilitated by YOU CAN MAKE a difference by two therapists. Creating a supdonating eggs Women 18-30 Healthy, portive community of women durResponsible, bright, to help couples ing times of transition and chaos. who can’t have a baby without your Contact 425-941-0190. donation. All nationalities and races PREGNANT IN SEATTLE? Hire a needed. Compensation up to$5500. Doula to provide unique support prenahttp://OverlakeReproductiveHealth.com tally, throughout labor, birth and postpartum. Cortney Holmes Certified Birth $45HR FOR MEN: 1.5-$65/2hrsDoula www.emeraldcitydoula.com $85. TIGHT? SORE? TENSE? Try excellent Swedish, Deep Tissue and Thai-inspired bodywork to loosen up, FORREST YOGA & ACROYOGA unwind and feel better. NO PAIN? NO NOW IN BALLARD! First class Free!

PROBLEM...relax and enjoy an amazing Come join us for a sweaty, strengthmassage. 14yrs professional masseur. ening, gravity surfing good time! CARPET CLEANING SPECIAL JOHN RUNYAN LMP 206.324.0682. www.kulamovement.blogspot.com $29.99 per room, min. of 3 areas/ www.tinyurl.com/N42LMP rooms. We use the state of the art PRIVATE YOGA SESSIONS in Rotovac Wand. Visit us online at your own home. Save time and gas BEVIN KEELY, LMP www.DoneRiteCarpetCleaning.com Rolf method of structural integration, while doing something wonderful for yourself. Feel Better, Start TODAY! or call 24 hours/7 days per week. a tool for transformation! www.bevinkeely.com 206-715-4685 www.chakrabodyyoga.com

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EDUCATION NUOVO CENTRO ITALIANO is enrolling now for group classes and private tutoring. Study Italian with us for fun, business, or travel. www.centro-italiano.com

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PET CARE METRO DOG IS THE place for pet care! We offer doggie daycare, boarding, dog walking, pet sitting and even transportation to/from our facility for our close neighbors. Give us a call at 206-284-DOGS(3647) or on the web@ www.MetroDogSeattle.com. Woof!

THE STRANGER

July 9, 2009

67

RENTALS & REAL ESTATE FIRST HILL

APARTMENTS BELLEVUE $1,095 Downtown Bellevue - $1095 - $1695 Month to Month fully furnished studios 888.308.8001 Photos at pacific-inn. com or SeattleRentals.com/614 BELLTOWN $1,750 Luxury Furnished (Executive?) Apt Completely Furnished Studio - Large - lives like 1BR. Austin Bell Building Above Belltown Bistro & Starbucks.

One Block to El Gaucho. Faces East - view of Space Needle. Underground Parking stall. TV-Audio-Cable-Internet.

Short or Long term - $1750+/Depending on Term. References & Solid Employment required. Email Interest GKM9611@AOL.com BELLTOWN

$700

WINDERMERE APARTMENTS Classic 1920â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s building in HOT Belltown location! Studio available,starting at $700/month. Indoor parking available $75/mo. NP/NS. Please call Todd 206728-1526

$625

JOHN WALLACE APARTMENTS $650+ Spacious studios on First Hill, with Old World charm. Clean, secure, quiet, professionally managed 1920Ă&#x2022;s building (manager on-site).

Convenient location, minutes from downtown & Capitol Hill; near major bus lines. Seeking clean, quiet, selfsupporting residents. One-year lease.

Non-smoking building. Sorry, no pets.

For more information, or to schedule a viewing, call D.J. at 206-405-2772 (photo ID required for viewing).

FIRST HILL $725 CLARWOOD APARTMENTS STUDIOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S AND A 1 BEDROOM AVAILABLE! CONTACT SHANNON AT clarwoodapts@yahoo.com or call 206250-0904 for an appointment GREENWOOD $700 Large open studio with sauna!

Conveniently located at 110th and Greenwood, just minutes from Carkeek Park, Ballard, Fremont and Shoreline. $700.00/month includes all utilities.

Year lease required. Cats welcome. Call 206-417-8956

UNIVERSI TY DISTRICT $500 Rooms in Shared Housing. $550/mo with all util + hi-speed internet. Laundry & Parking available. Close to major bus lines,shopping,restaurants. Welcome both groups & individuals. NO PETS & NONsmokers ONLY. 52nd & Brooklyn Ave NE. 206-228-6781 UNIVERSITY DISTRICT

CAPITOL HILL $825,995 CapHill/SU st/1brm; 825/995 Free wifi,wsg. claw tubs, some wood floors, great colors; quiet non-smoking/a nice place to live.600 dep/no credit check fee w/dep; 206-409-2782

***FREE

FORECLOSURE

LISTINGS***

Over

200,000

WALLINGFORD $1,625 View penthouse - 2BD quiet residential nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;hood, 1905 4-plex. 9ft ceilings, chandeliers, all refurbished, french doors, balcony, huge deck overlooking backyard + much more. Must see $1625 (425)672-4659

ART STUDIO/CREATIVE PRIVATE EVENT SPACE www.SODOPOP.com or call (206)287-1615

Payment. Call NOW! 1-800-446-1328 (AAN CAN) GEORGETOWN LOFTS - Sorry, we

METICULOUSLY

MAINTAINED

TOP floor unit in sought-after Green Lake neighborhood. Amazing views of lake and Olympics. $395,000.

Contact Mark at (206)931-9807 or manderson@johnlscott.com.

Vivacious, athletic, engaged and adventurous. I will finish this up in a couple days... promise! i really promise soon i will! worldpeaspleez, 42, #150203

Lakefront Estate & Horse Farm. The Most Amazing Property Available Anywhere. $5,000,000. See Pictures At:

http://ViewWebPage.com/4PYS

or

Email:Ă&#x160;bendbenson@gmail.com

(AAN CAN) WONDERFUL 5BD/3BA DUPLEX opportunity! Great investment potential! $350,000. Call Mark at (425) 750-0141

HOUSING WANTED WANTED - SMALL space for work & living. Semi-retired carpenter can pay some and do trade for part of rent.

Decks, porches, painting, small roofing, glass and tile. North Seattle pref..

Call 206-769-5376

15x18 ft â&#x20AC;˘ $550/mth 24 hr access

Large, clean, well-maintained houses, fully equipped common areas, free phone & cable, NS/NP. Starting at $350/mo!

3429 Airport Way S, Seattle 98134

Contact Rasmey 253-306-3044

(253) 222-5051 5014 39th Avenue South Seattle WA 98118

Designer ďŹ nishes with bamboo ďŹ&#x201A;ooring and Cesar Stone countertops. Pets welcome.

FREE RENT!!! $1045 - $1625

I like climbing trees, and playground equipment by moonlight. I like late walks when no one is around.

Bananaberry, 24, #150025

I love good cheese plate, a glass of wine, the Afghan Whigs, the Good Soldier, the Royal Tennenbaums, Twin Peaks, ice cream, animals, Anthropologie, Mrs. Dalloway, brownie batter, a clean apartment, rigorous cardio, and a good nightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sleep. ballardorama, 30, #150214

Greenlake, U-Dist., Wallingford, and Greenwood.

FANTASTIC NEW CONDO HOMES

WHY AM I DOING THIS

as $970/Month 0% down! Upon

PRIVATE REHEARSAL ROOM

July & August Zen Condominiums

WHERE IS BUDDY BRADLEY

i am honest to a fault, reliable and a good bit of fun. i have a great sense of humor and i really want to start hiking this friggin state. any takers. bobwop, 35, #150249

CAN CHANGE A FLAT TIRE.

ROOMS FOR RENT

NOW RENTING!!!

I moved here 6 months ago and am looking to find someone special and perhaps some new friends. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m into music, dancing, art, classic cars, green tea and playing cello. I love adventure and spending time outdoors. Ssss, 28, #150280

CHUBBY COUNTRY HILLBILLY

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m very passionate about politics and social media, committed to public service, and generally believe in making tomorrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world a better place. You should contact me if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a gentleman with a touch of geek. Beards and/or scruff a bonus. sassy2979, 29, #150056

Columbia City! Payments as low

5000 SQFT! TWO 5000 sqft! Two Approval. FHA/VA. Call 206-721-4943 studios can be rented hourly,daily or Property Location 5220 42nd Avenue monthly. Have access to full kitchen w/ South Seattle , WA 98118 dinette, wireless internet, bathrooms, 2 mins. from Downtown! Remodeled music! Call: 206-343-7118 WWW.COLUMBIACITY studio apts. New appliances (microSQUARE LOFT wave, cook- top, refrigerator), granite PIONEER CONDOS.COM counter- tops, partially furnished with Office/$495, 565 Sq.Ft. loft style work/ Bed and dresser. Variety of floor plans. creative space in Pioneer Square: High QUEEN ANNE: 3026 12th Ave W Available Now! Alps apartments (206) Ceiling, Exposed Brick & Beams, Wood Floors 206-658-3166 2bd/1.75ba $475,000. For more 625-9817 or alpsapts@gmail.com information contact Windermere Real WELL ESTABLISHED, HIGHLESCHI $1,050 profitable salon for sale in Estate Company Agent Heather Berger 1/2 off 1st month! 2 bd $1050 w/ LY crpt, view, prking, shopping, busline, the heart of Belltown. $39,950. 206|478|9297. coin-op lndry. Dep. $1000 Pet ok! 206- Contact Mark at (206)931-9807 or manderson@johnlscott.com SPECTACULAR 108 ACRE NH 781-9977 206-781-9977

No fees. www.roomsandapartments.com 206.388.3924

FUN, CREATIVE, OUTGOING, MELLOW.

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F><4= B44:8=6 F><4=

Fantastic Brand New Condos in

HOUSES

F><4= B44:8=6 <4=

Designer during the day. Make arty things at night! WFMU, Flo and Eddie, Wings, Andy Votel. Comics. ps. If you are already my friend, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t email to tell me you saw me on loveLab! ... I know. littleyeti, 29, #150240

OWN YOUR OWN HOME FOR JUST $970 PER MONTH

OFFICE/COMMERCIAL

LESCHI $750 COLUMBIA CITY $1,200 RENTON - 1/2 off 1st month! 2 bdĂ&#x160;$750 ZEN CONDOMINIUMS w/crpt, prking, shopping center, coin- ALL AREAS - HOUSES FOR RENT. op laundry patio. Dep. $600 PetĂ&#x160;ok!

Browse thousands of rental listings NOW LEASING 206-720-1400 with photos and maps. Advertise Fantastic new condo homes with $900 your rental home for FREE! Visit: designer finishes, bamboo floor- MERCER ISLAND www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN) ing, Cesar stone countertops and Mercer Island 1-bdrm apt available $1,500 more! Pets welcome & FREE RENT! now $900.00 Heat, water, garbage paid. BALLARD Clean, quiet, comfortable. Call (206) $1500 Brick House in Ballard 2bd Call 206-725-0470 230-0618 for appointment.

1bath 2000sf w/basement, carpet and WWW.COLUMBIACITY hardwood floors, 1 car garage, huge QUEEN ANNE $1,095 backyard, easy walk to restaurants and CONDOS.COM Queen Anne near Seattle Center: grocery, email kseniya.deryckx@gmail. $1095 $1695 Month to MonthDOWNTOWN $459 com or call 360-510-3475 to view the furnished studios 866.525.4700 AFFORDABLE STUDIOS Photos at mediterranean-inn.com or house and get an application.

CENTRAL DISTRICT $1,150 SeattleRentals.com/613 3BRS $1150 / 2br - Townhouse in the Central Rents Start @ $459 !! Housing QUEEN ANNE $850 District 2 BR, 1½ BA, W/D, 1 off-street Resources Group (HRG) offers afford- One bedroom $850; Two bedroom parking, and fenced back yard. TERMS: able apt. communities in some of $1200. Hdwd floors, parking, view, One-year lease. First month rent and Seattleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most desirable neighborhoods. w/s/g incl. 1100 5th Ave. N. Call Liane $1000 damage deposit. CONTACT: 206-622-2893 / www.hrg.org 425-413-1636 and 206-351-7480 (206)297-0091

OZa ` Q][ ^S`a]\ S U \ O b` a S V b eee

properties nationwide. LOW Down

donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do picket fences. Or same old, U-Dist rooms for rent in EXTRA same old. Only 1 remains. Contact NICE 4000 sqft house. 5018 18th Ave NE. No smokers, no pets. Call Windermere Real Estate Agent Larry (206)229-8853, 10am-7pm or email: Wilcynski 206|227|1725 harbine@yahoo.com

CAPITOL HILL $700 Two months free rent! One bedrooms HOSTEL ROOMS $15/NIGHT Cable starting at $700 - $825. Views, deck TV, Phone, (206)762-0279 & large swimming pool! Secure buildINTERNATIONAL DISTRICT $404 ing, close to bus & shopping, parking. $404 TO $533 (206)329-8682 CAPITOL HILL $825 CapHill/SU st/1brm; 825/995 Free wifi,wsg. claw tubs, some wood floors, great colors; quiet non-smoking/a nice place to live.600 dep/no credit check fee w/dep; 206-409-2782

$525

ROOMS AVAILABLE $525 & $545

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

WHERE I LEAD ME Really just checking this out for a bit.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a sucker for sunshine and a good soundtrack. Would like to meet someone who is intelligent and funny who would like to hang out, build bonfires,listen to music and play cribbage. Love_Lillies, 36, #130834

HERE FISHY FISHY Funny, articulate, smart, sweet & super chill girl. Pubs are more fun than clubs, although dancing can & should happen anywhere. I have a map of Seattleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s taco trucks in my head and I invite you to test my knowledge! cheezfreek, 33, #150186

AWW HELL....SMASHY PANTS. i work alot but i play alot too. i love going to shows, late night drinking and walking all over this crazy city. born and raised here. i am easy going, drama free and responsible. iheartmusic, 32, #139112

MY BIKE HAS GEARS sngl/wht/F Urban refugee seeks same M/F for daring Mtn. Escape! Ever feel like you got separated from your tribe at birth and somewhere out there your real people longed for you?-HI, they sent me to come get you. DangerSquid, 26, , #150174

WANNA BE STARTINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; SOMETHING?

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS I guess the best place to start is that I am gay. I am looking to meet other gay women. If you are questioning your sexuality, good for you! Now go look at somebody elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ad. DeeDouble_U, 21, #150201

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN I love finding the right insane thing to say at exactly the wrong moment. I also love staying active - building/creating art, painting/drawing, art-house movies, reading backpacking, biking, rock climbing, hiking, thinking, cooking, writing, meditating, theater and doing new/interesting/ engaging activities. ecos, 46, , #150231

WORKOUT FIRST, WINE AFTER 40 words? Uh...OK, how about winelover? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a good word. Lover of fine dining? Looking for a workout partner? Willing to train & work on fitness goals? Lover of the sensual, sexual and erotic? Way too few to work with.

GreenlakeGuy, 56, #112729

ABERRANT FTM SEEKING FRIENDS/LOVE Looking for friends first and love if it happens. Quick statements about me: easy going, shy but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d never guess, easy to talk to, devoted to my dogs, open-minded, unconditionally loving but a smart ass. Definitely one of a kind. jezterking, 39, #123463

BOSSY BOTTOM SEEKING BOSSIER TOP HELP ME REBOOT MY LIFE Me: 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;3, reddish hair, freckles, big boobs. Bossy but submissive.

Ridiculously cute baby dyke looks. You: Butch/boi-ish, indpendent, ok with topping me and having a good time, possibly dating? Must love fake bacon and artichokes. Seriously. TransplantedTexan, 23, #135177

I just purchased the Deluxe version of â&#x20AC;&#x153;My Adjectivesâ&#x20AC;? and most of them apply: Honest, open minded, loyal, extroverted yet introverted, humorous, kind, and predictable. Seeking someone who shares my desires, style, and temperament. I believe alikes attract alikes. uptown_guy, 55, #150205

CREATIVE, PASSIONATE, CRAZY CAT GIRL

ONLY THING MISSING IS YOU

I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really know what to say, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m fun, I love to be around people. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m crazy, honest,a gamer, I am just looking for someone to care for and hang with. kittygirlelly, 19, #149963

If I were a Ben and Jerryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flavor Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be Easygoing Northwest Crunch with a Go Fuck Yourself swirl. Cynic with a heart of gold. Loves hanging with crazy wild loud, wants to go home with centered balanced and stable. matthewquest, 32, #148525

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M EXCITED! ARE YOU EXCITED?

LOOKING FOR FWB

Straight up: I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t live in Seattle, I just visit frequently to see my gentleman. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re committed, but heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happy to share me with the world. I have way more exploring to do -- I just love people! blueberry, 20, , #149918

Im looking for a friend with benifits, if it leads to more then great. Im openminded, discrete, funny, respectful, and looking for same. mkd78, 31, #140381

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<4= B44:8=6 <4= LOOKING TO GET LAID I am a pre-op FtM who has been on testosterone for a little over 6 months. I have dated and slept with women for the majority of my sexual life. I am looking to explore my sexuality with a man. connorj, 29, #150262

I LIKE TALKING TO STRANGERS

SUNSHINE, CITY, SMILE

Confident, funny, caring, laid-back, philosophically- politically-, and openminded guys. Intellectual, Fun-Loving, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m an honest, laid-back, easy-going, politically-conscious, witty and woman.

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just looking for a guy who can provide stimulating conversation . Estranger, 44, #150176

Looking for a happy girl who likes to be active, yet can chill when necessary. summertimeinthecity, 24, #150271

LOOKING FOR THAT â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;THINGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

DONT CARE WHAT THEY SAY

I am sort of new to the area, a transplant from Portland and am wanting to meet interesting people. Some good ol folks to enjoy some laid back conversation and maybe a beer or two. JALOPY, 24, , #150117

IM a good hearted kid who is looking to have a good time.like to have fun on the weekends. I work hard and play harder. let me know if you want to spend some time with a cool guy. b_man, 22, #150266

UNTIL THEN

ICE CREAM IN OUR UNDIES...

i am looking for firendship and undestande with trust.i m need i am looking for firendship and undestande with trust.i m need your interest contact me so i can give you my picture and introduce myself properly to you know. atoniam, 24, #150081

...thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a euphemism, I actually think it would be fun to make some homemade ice cream with no pants on.

A bottle of wine, some good music, milk, sugar, eggs, and the right girl.... pbe79, 29, #150264

GRAB ME BY THE HORNS.

NO FRILLS OR GIMICKS

SENSITIVE MACHISTA

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m just a guy who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a lot of excesses in his life. I avoid fads and hype. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to find someone similar, who doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t jump on bandwagons or fads, but doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t rule out trying something new, either. bluedragon, 33, #104351

Internally oppressed colored attracted to (and idealizes) white boys. Serve the demented and oppressed of Seattle (therefore Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a listener and a calm presence). Looking for a dude that can own manliness as well as kindness. ballardboy25, 26, #135190

FOXY FABULOUS FEMME Looking for a tall honorable intentional man who appreciates beauty and can handle a stylish creative erotically charged goddess for a sensual sexual and satisfied existence. A motorcycle would be a big plus. Lovesexy, 35, #149704

HABITUALLY BIPEDAL EUKARYOTE Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m pretty tough to live with.....I like having my own way most of the time. axleman38, 41, #150270

AUR @a_N[TR_ =R_`\[NY` `VaR S\_ ]R\]YR Y\\XV[T S\_ Y\cR

GET NAKED Hello. I like TV, downloaded music, Nintendo WII and Nintendo Power Magazine, VH1 reality, Heroes, Family Guy. Happy Hour make me happy and Horror Movies. Jerzman, 26, #150031

EMO, GAMER, GUITAR, PIANO, BOOKS looking for gamer, emo, or any hot, nice guy to be in a long lasting relationship: to be close to every night, talk, watch movies, and kiss. darthmisha, 49, #149951

Taurus with Moon in Aquarius and Venus in Pisces seeks astrologically compatible mate for summer loving. Be one of a kind. Be butch. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got hairy pecs, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s talk. benbot, 22, #149903

AUR @a_N[TR_ =R_`\[NY` `VaR S\_ XV[X`aR_`

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68

July 9, 2009

THE STRANGER

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

DEAR SCIENCE

BY ROB BREZSNY

B Y J O N AT H A N GOLOB

For the Week of July 9 ARIES (March 21–April 19): Miracle of miracles: A pointless pain in the butt will soon stop bugging you. Meanwhile, an annoying itch in your heart is subsiding, and may even disappear. As a result of these happy developments, you will be able to concentrate on a much more interesting and provocative torment that has been waiting impatiently for your loving attention. Actually, it’s an ancient torment dressed up in a new package. But as before, it’s a torment you’ve never had the right name for. That’s about to change, however. You’re finally ready to find the right name for it, and when you do, you’ll be halfway toward a permanent cure.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): When he was growing up, the father of basketball superstar Pat Riley forced him to play basketball with kids who were stronger and tougher than he was. He said it forged his son into a winner. I can see the principle at work, but it doesn’t come naturally to me. In my efforts to provide you with the parenting you missed as a kid, I’ve always preferred a gentler, more nurturing approach.

Nevertheless, the time has come to override my personal desires for the sake of your character-building needs. I recommend that you force yourself to play with grown-up kids who’re stronger and tougher than you.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): I wouldn’t get too agitated about the supposed “writing on the wall” if I were you. The handwriting is not God’s, for God’s sake.

It’s not even that of a wise elder or young genius. So don’t attribute too much authority to it, please. It’s just the opinion of someone who doesn’t know any more about the ultimate truth than you do. So I suggest you cover it up with black spray paint and then carefully inscribe your own version of the writing on the wall. Reality is especially malleable right now, so the most forcefully expressed prophecy will probably come true.

CANCER (June 21–July 22): I believe that when you chatter carelessly about a big change that’s in the works, you’re in danger of draining it of some of its potency. So I don’t want to trumpet or gossip about the gift that’s on its way to you. I’ll just mention that it’s coming, and urge you to prepare a clean, well-lit place for it to land. Here’s a hint: It could, among other things, help you convert one of your vulnerabilities into a strength or inspire you to start transforming an area of ignorance into a future source of brilliance.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): At the farmers market, an escape artist performed in the middle of the street. As a crowd gawked, he had two big strong men tie him up tight in a straitjacket and 50 feet of chain. For the next 20 minutes he shimmied and contorted and bent over backward. His face grew red and sweaty. There were no Houdini-like magic tricks. There were no puffs of smoke or magic boxes or mirrors or distracting assistants. He rarely spoke as the ordeal progressed, but in the end, after the last of the chains slipped off and he wrestled his way out of the straitjacket, he said simply, “Now I invite all of you to go home and use what I just did as a metaphor for your life.” It was a supremely sexy performance, and I realized maybe it would help you with your current situation.

Dear Science, My tomato plants are struggling this summer. They are yellow and weak despite good amounts of sun and water.

Is there anything wrong with using some Miracle-Gro? Would an organic fertilizer be better?

Waiting For A Bloom Sunlight, water, and carbon dioxide aren’t enough for your plant to grow.

Generating new DNA bases requires nitrogen; your yellowing tomatoes need some. The atmosphere is about 70 percent nitrogen, but the nitrogen in the air is quite chemically inert. Capturing and connecting the otherwise content pairs of nitrogen to carbon or oxygen— fixing the nitrogen—takes a bit of chemical wrangling. Plants can’t do this for themselves. Some bacteria, diazotrophs, can capture nitrogen, and the delightful legume family of plants

hosts these bacteria as symbionts.

Chemical fertilizers are generated with modern chemical engineering, fixing nitrogen to carbon and oxygen with high temperatures and pressures through the Haber process. From the perspective of most plants, this fixed nitrogen is as usable and palatable as that made by bean plants. Organic fertilizers, typically from sewage sludge or animal manure, recycle some of the already-fixed nitrogen in the other parts of the biosphere. Crop rotation—planting a round of beans in your tired soil—also would do the trick.

Organic or chemical nitrogen fertilizers cause problems when they are overused. The runoff of the extra nitrogen causes a bloom of wild plants, disrupting the delicate balances of ecosystems. It isn’t the source of the nitrogen—chemical engineering or industrially processed manure—that matters, it’s how it’s used.

You shouldn’t fear the chemical fertilizer over the organic. Provided you use careful amounts of Miracle-Gro, your tomato plants will be fine. The same is true of an organic fertilizer. The

fact that the chemical fertilizer comes from the other kind of plant isn’t, in and of itself, a risk. Almost everything we eat or drink is genetically modified and processed. From pigs to corn to wheat to berries to broccoli— just about anything you’d find at an organic farmers market is the product of millennia of selective breeding, manipulation of the environment, and bending of the natural world.

Fearing science, and the application of scientific knowledge to the problem of feeding humanity, is criminally irrational—particularly in a world with nearly seven billion people, many of whom are malnourished.

Overidealizing a romanticized notion of 19th-century agriculture—dating back to a time before we even had the most basic grasp of biology—goes beyond naive and into the absurd.

Feeding all of us properly is going to require us to apply science to our food.

Next summer, plant some beans instead. The same advice applies to industrial farms.

Reasonably Yours, Science

MAAKIES

by Tony Millionaire

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): Your concentration for dicey assignments, like conquering fear and adversity, is sharp. And I bet you’ll summon a lot of stamina and resourcefulness if you’re pressed to solve a crucial riddle during a turning point in your own personal hero’s journey. On the other hand, humdrum details have the potential to flummox you, especially if they involve tasks you’re not even that interested in or committed to. The moral of the story: Banish absentmindedness by keeping yourself focused on only the most riveting challenges.

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): The sky will not start falling. But something resembling heavenly tokens may cascade down with such frequency that you’ll be wise to keep looking up a lot. You never know when another piece of the blessed puzzle will come raining down. And it would be a shame to suffer the embarrassment of having your favorable fortune knock you over. Who’d have ever guessed that a shower of good news would be such a tricky trial?

UNDERWORLD

by Kaz

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): How well are you capitalizing on this year’s unique opportunities, Scorpio? Since we’re midway through 2009, let’s take an inventory. I hope that by now you have at least begun building the power spot or energy source that will serve as your foundation for the coming years. So much the better if it’s more than halfway finished and will be ready for full use by the end of summer or early fall. Remember my promises: Life has been and will continue to be conspiring to get you settled in your ideal home base, supercharge your relationships with your closest allies, and connect you with the resources that will fuel your long-term quest.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): In the Middle Ages, people became adults when they turned 7 years old. These days, the threshold is much later. I’m happy about that. In my view, the longer you can hold on to your playful irreverence and innocent lust for life, the better. Still, there is value in taking on the kinds of responsibilities that help you express yourself with grace and power. So I don’t mean to rush you, but it might be time to take a step toward being on the verge of tiptoeing to the brink of preparing to accept more adulthood into your heart. You could make the process less harrowing by hanging out with those rare wise guys and wise girls who’ve survived the transition to greater maturity and a higher degree of professionalism with their youthful flair more or less intact.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): I don’t care what you feel this

THREE ACROSS By Brendan Emmett Quigley

week, as long as you don’t feel nothing. Get inflamed with hunger or justice or sadness or beauty or love, but don’t submit to apathy. Don’t let yourself be shunted into numbness. You can’t afford to be cut off from the source of your secret self, even if it means having to feel like hell for a while. And the odd thing is that if you’re willing to go through hell, you won’t have to go through hell. So to hell with your poker face and neutrality and dispassionate stance. Be a wild thing, not a mild thing.

ACROSS 1. Malia and Sasha’s mom 14. Trees yielding a soft wood

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): The Iliad is an ancient Greek epic

15. Huge flop

poem that describes events near the end of the Trojan War. Most modern critics regard it as a foundation stone of Western literature. In my opinion, though, it’s mostly just a gruesome tale of macho haters who are inflamed with pride, treat women like property, and can’t stop killing each other. I share the perspective of poet Diane di Prima, who once had a dream in which the Iliad was cast as gangsta rap. Now please adopt the style of our critique for use in your own life, Aquarius. What supposedly noble or important situation is actually pretty trivial or clichéd? It’s time for you to tell the truth about the hype.

16. Afternoon repose 17. Secret society 18. Bag checker’s org.

7. Joke response, informally

34. Triangular structure

38. Popular low-fare flier: abbr.

8. Lady of Arthurian romance

38. Healthful retreats

41. Physicist Ohm 43. Whiz 46. Sleepovers 49. Tuscaloosa elephant 50. Drink made with peach schnapps

19. Disney dwarf 20. Ultimate

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): “May you live in interesting times.”

22. It’s said when lifting the arm

That old toast is actually a droll curse meant to be heaped upon an enemy. “Interesting” implies rapid change, rampant uncertainty, and constant adjustment. What’s preferable is to live during a boring era when stability reigns. Or so the argument goes. But I reject that line of thought. I celebrate the fact that we’re embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree.

What fantastic luck it is to be on the planet when everything mutates! May we be up to the task of bringing heaven down to earth. May we be worthy of the trust the universe is placing in us. Now get out there, Pisces, and enjoy the hell out of the epic and entertaining drama we’re stewarding. This is your time to be a leader and a luminary.

25. Pal of Piglet 29. Honker 30. Duff 31. Comment after bombing 34. ___ Sings the Blues (1980 album) 36. Dept. boss

Homework: Write a parable or fairy tale about what your life has been like so far in 2009, testify at www.freewillastrology.com.

37. Disobeyed a zoo sign?

Find the solution at thestranger.com/games.

DOWN

9. Narcotic 10. Cartoonist Keane 11. “…some kind of ___?”

35. Seize again

39. Corduroy feature 40. Iliad figure 42. Brilliantly colored fish

12. Bodies of eau

43. Type of type

13. On a liner, e.g.

44. Fair-hiring org.

19. Casual attire

45. OT book

21. Overblown

47. Blood classification letters

1. Thom ___ (big name in shoes)

22. Phi follower

2. Shred

24. Mess up

3. Hoofbeat

26. Table scrap

23. Radioactive

4. On a roll

27. “Yay, team!”

5. Charm

28. JFK posting

6. Second word in a classic Whitman poem

32. “I am the ___” (Beatles lyric) 33. Unreal

48. The Waste Land monogram

THE STRANGER

I SAW U Read bucketloads more (or place your own) online at www.thestranger.com/personals • 1-520-547-0777

ROUTE 41 ive been seeing u every am NG trans center! Im not stalking u but i noticed last couple times u smile at me & i kinda smiled back at u but dude im really shy!!! sry for being so emo When: Saturday, June 27, 2009.

Where: Northgate Transit Center, Rt 41. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #913189

FISH MEETS MERMAID AT HERKIMER You were beautiful wide-eyed and expressive; a whirlwind when you walked into the coffee shop. I was me. Two strangers wondering...”can we be friends? can we be lovers?”

When I return from California, we should wonder together some more...

When: Sunday, June 28, 2009.

Where: Herkimer Coffee on the Ave. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913188

PRIDE AT THE WILD ROSE You were wearing sunglasses and bought me a shot. I was being inappropriate. I canít stop thinking about you. If you can tell me what I was wearing, Iíd like to see you again.

When: Tuesday, July 28, 2009.

Where: Wild Rose. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913187

NYXX GodDamn. Stranger profile pic ..couldn’t locate you via normal social networking sites but you make me a giddy dork from one hella dumb picture. When: Wednesday, July 1, 2009. Where: StrangerPersonals. You: Woman.

Me: Man. #913186

HONEYHOLE MONDAY AFTER PRIDE You, queer butch, yellow shirt and hat. Couldn’t tell if you were with a friend or GF. You met up with two other friends and sat in the booth across from me. I was totally distracted. You’re hot... drinks? When: Monday, June 29, 2009. Where: HoneyHole. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #913185

MICKEY MOUSE ENJOYS 12” TURKEYS You: Green bandanna and hungry Me: Mohawk sportin’ sandwich slinger. I commend your parents for naming you Mickey Mouse. Wanna go for a skate and some beers? When: Tuesday, June 30, 2009. Where: Ballard O.C.C.. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913184

HEY PIZZA GIRL...

You have my book. I think you went on a trip, haven’t seen you around in a long time. I think you are beautifull. drink sometime? not like when I asked you on st. pattys day. When: Tuesday, June 30, 2009. Where: The U. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913183

SANDLOT WOOS you ran to get some sharpies. i fell in love. you took a train to seattle, ive been floating ever since. i love you monkey. When: Saturday, June 13, 2009. Where: roof top. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913182

CAT SHIRT AND A BEARD I saw you in Pioneer Square mid afternoon a few days ago. You were wearing a cat sweatershirt, beanie, and had an amazing beard. I want to run my fingers through your beard. Can I? When: Monday, June 29, 2009.

Where: Pioneer Square. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913181

HARVARD EXIT BOWTIE EXTRODINAIRE You work at Harvard Exit. Short messy blonde hair with an affinity for all sorts of ties (bowties etc.) I see you bouncing around the hill and I think you are gorgeous. When: Tuesday, June 30, 2009. Where: around the hill. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #913180

SIX WEEKS WITH JUROR #6 Decks & vinyl; frass & sheathing At you I couldn’t keep from peeking Towards the end I wore a suit The verdict’s in, I think you’re cute When: Monday, June 29, 2009. Where: Seattle. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913179

STITCHES GIRL CHAI AND CHOCOLATE

R-PLACE ON SATURDAY PRIDE NIGHT

You came in to my work Sunday morning and got chai and some truffles.

You are gorgeous. Coffee sometime?

When: Sunday, June 28, 2009.

Where: Pride Sunday at the chocolate shop. You: Woman.

Me: Woman. #913178

I am the asian there with a friend and danced with you for a bit. We kissed, but for some ungodly reason, I somehow twisted my knee and fell.

Sorry we had to leave. Maybe we can meet again? When: Saturday, June 27, 2009. Where: R-Place. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #913165

RED DRESS AT MCGILVERA’S You had blonde hair, tatts and were wearing a red dress. You were unbelievably gorgeous. When: Monday, June 29, 2009. Where: Madison Park. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913177

EVERYONE AT PRIDE ON SUNDAY...

You’re fucking sexy- keep up the good work. When: Sunday, June 28, 2009. Where: Seattle Center.

You: Woman. Me: Woman. #913176

CAFE SOLSTICE After we made eye contact, you fidgetted and played with your hair. Next time, mouth “hello” and pat the chair next to you. I won’t have much time but for introductions and to arrange to meet later. Come on. When: Tuesday, June 30, 2009. Where: Cafe Solstice. You: Man. Me: Man. #913175

LA PUSH SURFING 6/27 We parked and lounged on the beach next to each other. I was too ... to ask 4 your name. Me - wool cap and black sweatshirt with print. You girl w friends in red top and jeans.

When: Saturday, June 27, 2009.

Where: La Push. You: Woman.

Me: Man. #913174

YOU LIKE MY LISP You told my girl you used to have a crush on me. I’ve always felt the same. Lets get drinks or something....

When: Monday, June 29, 2009.

Where: Moe Bar. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913173

THAI TOM/BLUE MOON standing in front of thai tom you walked by smoking. then i saw you at blue moon. you: cut off shorts, tank top, flannel, beautiful hair, amazing glasses. me: hat, beard, glasses. pool and a beer? When: Monday, June 29, 2009. Where: u-district. wallingford. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913172

GORGEOUS TALL NORTHGATE T-MOBILE GUY You, sideburns, amazing smile. Me, tallblonde punk. Said hi once, thought you were going to try and sell me tmobile, but that was it. Hi. Soon I’ll work up courage and introduce myself. Until then, I’ll settle for that smile When: Monday, June 29, 2009. Where: Northgate mall T-Mobile. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913164

I see you reading The Stranger on the bench outside the office frequently. We make eye contact often, but I always break it. Come talk to me. When: Friday, June 26, 2009. Where: Olympia Farmers Market. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913163

OLYMPIA VITA AND THE BROHO I cant figure out how to talk to you. you are so interesting and amazingly talented. you are this artist and i totally admire you. if only i could figure out how to say hi. maybe we can be friends? When: Friday, June 19, 2009. Where: Olympia-Vita. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913141

AECHIE MCPHEE WALLINGFORD You: Handsome fella with dark hair, nice beard, black frame glasses and tattoos. We exchanged quite a few glances. Me: Guy in the green shirt and tattoos behind the counter. Hope you are single! Coffee, beer sometime? When: Monday, June 22, 2009. Where: wallingford. You: Man. Me: Man. #913113

SPECIAL COLLECTIONS HOPEFUL You (curly hair, painted mac) came into Special Collections Library twice. I mistook you for the larger woman in the far corner and delivered the wrong set of city directories. Wish I said something, come back to see me When: Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Where: UW Special Collections Library. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913112

8 LIMBS MYSTERY

My heart skips a beat every time you come in. You: sharing a meal with a friend in post alley. Me: too shy to initiate a real conversation, yet totally captivated by your essence. Share a meal with me? When: Monday, June 29, 2009. Where: Pike Place Market. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913170

You work at 8Limbs. I work at the cafe across the street. I rarely have the pleasure of making you a coffee. I said hi when you were leaving. Your smile gives me butterflies. Maybe we could have a conversation? When: Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Where: Kaladi. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913111

We took a pix together after you posed for a pix first at Seattle Pride Parade.

You held the rainbow flag with your tight red swim shorts and the red tee cape with rainbow wrist bands.

Coffee? When: Sunday, June 28, 2009. Where: Seattle Pride Parade. You: Man. Me: Man. #913168

BLOND/GLASSES AT THE COMET Sunday night. Shared glances about a million times. I was the tall guy with dark hair, glasses, and a plaid shirt.

You got suckered into dancing by the the neck beard guy. Just thought that I’d say you’re beautiful. When: Sunday, June 28, 2009. Where: Comet Tavern. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913167

INDIAN GIRL IN SILVERSTATION WAGON saturday night, pride weekend, in belltown. myself: brown boy walking his bike late night with friends. we did the full stare connection as you drove south. do we know each other? should we? and yes, the mustache is real. hi! When: Saturday, June 27, 2009. Where: belltown 2nd avenue. You: Woman. Me: Man. ☎ #913166

You: dark wavy hair, blue eyes, big smile. Me: dark wavy hair, blue eyes, big smile. I caught you smiling at me, but was too shy to introduce myself.

When: Thursday, June 18, 2009.

Where: CASA Training. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913107

FREE CODE 1383

WORKER RETRAINING MEETING SCCC Your ring matched my necklace and I noticed you looking at it. You seem simple, direct, and creative. From your laugh, it seems you know how to enjoy life. Want to sort through these stacks of paper or talk joblessness? When: Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Where: Seattle Central Worker Retraining. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913105

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FLOATER CONCERT IN FEBRUARY We headbanged alot. During the intermission I bought you water and let you poor some over my head. It was hot, thank you! You are FUN! hope you remember me. blonde hair in pigtails, glasses, wearing DEVO sweatshirt When: Friday, February 27, 2009. Where: Showbox at the Market. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913110

SAN FRANSISCO ETERNAL LAYOVER Amanda (from Santa Rosa?) We sat making small talk, smiling at each other,3 hour delay. I: bought you a frapaccino. You: deep-green eyes, brown hair, holding the cutest baby. can I buy you another coffee before you go home? c When: Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Where: San Fransisco Airport flight to seattle. You: Woman. Me: Man. ☎ #913109

You work for opposing counsel, and told me Ms Cleo helps you with trial exhibits. I was too shy to talk to you. Now that trial is over, lets celebrate and grab a drink! When: Thursday, June 18, 2009.

Where: Courthouse. You: Man. Me: Man. #913104

I SAW YOU IN BALLARD La Carta De Oaxaca Ballard June 22.

I tried talking to you when leaving, with your parents sitting right behind me. it didn’t go well. I turned around, ran into a baby carriage and quickly walked away. When: Monday, June 22, 2009. Where: Ballard, La Carta. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913103

ANDREA Another beer soon and a walk through the convention center? When: Tuesday, June 23, 2009. Where: Raineer Square. You: Woman.

Me: Man. #913102

PATRICKHOWAREYOU? I know it’s been a while, May 11th to be exact. But just want to know you’re doing ok...Text me? When: Monday, May 11, 2009. Where: your bedroom. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913101

GEORGETOWN GIRL You: A very attractive girl with blondish/red streak hair. Wearing a jean jacket w/ a PBR patch on the back.

I was hanging flyers. I look up we smiled as we crossed paths. I said hello,guess you didn’t hear me.

When: Monday, June 22, 2009.

Where: Airport way 5:45. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913100

BAGGAGE CLAIM walked over to your side in chicago hoping there would be an outlet nearby. my search led me to another gate. threw glances after we landed in seattle. you disappeared after baggage claim, next time we’ll exchange more than words. When: Sunday, June 21, 2009. Where: o’hare->flight 575-->seatac. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913099

HIDEOUS BEGGAR ON 2ND/ CHERRY. Your cardboard sign said “Please help” and I knew what you were after.

You were after my heart. I gave you more than a dollar that day, I also gave you my best seductive eyelash bat. I know you remember. When: Friday, February 6, 2009.

Where: 2nd Cherry. You: Man. Me: Man. ☎ #913098

TOO SHY Saw you at the solstice parade, we were both bicycling painted. You: short blonde hair. Me: crazy red wig. I didn’t have the courage to go up to you but i wanted to tell you... I dig the hat.

When: Saturday, June 20, 2009.

Where: Solstice Parade. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #913097

BALLARD BLOCKBUSTERTUESDAY NIGHT

EVERGREEN GIRL AT HEALTHCARE MARCH

Attractive man in green pants & striped shirt. We exchanged glances and a smile. I had a tan jacket, brunette & green eyes. Wanted to give you my number but your steady gaze made me feel suddenly shy. Try again?

When: Tuesday, June 23, 2009.

Where: Ballard Blockbuster. You: Man. Me: Woman. #913108

Me: Curly haired ginger wearing all red leading chants in the March. AKA: idiot that never asked for your number You: Smart, funny, redhead named Sarah up from Evergreen. You seemed awesome and I’m a fool. Hope to find you When: Saturday, May 30, 2009.

Where: Westlake Center. You: Woman. Me: Man. #913096

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You can trust me not to publish the picture, ASG, but anyone who wants an idea of what this boy looks like is invited to quickly Google “Gaspard Ulliel,” turn those blue eyes brown, take a moment to masturbate, and then come back and finish reading this week’s column.

Okay, ASG, hypothetically… I go.

I lie to my parents. I tell them a friend—someone they know, someone who’ll lie for me—lent me the money and I’m going to go spend a few days in France with my friend (the same one who vetted this boy) before I land a job.

But… I wouldn’t be going at all if a friend hadn’t vetted this guy. And I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have somewhere to stay besides this boy’s place. And I would treat our first meeting like any first meeting with a stranger I’d met online: That first meeting would be in a public place; I would let someone know where I was going and who I was with; and it wouldn’t be an open-ended date, i.e., I would see him for lunch and have ironclad plans to hang out with other friends later that same afternoon.

I would also go to France with my bullshit detector fully charged. It’s not like there’s a shortage of good-looking French girls. So why is he pining away for an American girl he might never meet with so much French pussy at his disposal?

Maybe he’s so smitten with me that French pussy won’t do… or… maybe he’s a socially maladapted leotard who can’t get laid despite his looks. I would remind myself not to overestimate my awesomeness and to be on the lookout for signs of social leotardation once I met the dude.

And finally, ASG, if I went to France and didn’t hit it off with this boy, I would thank my lucky stars that my internet crush lived in Paris, France, and not Paris, Texas, and enjoy the trip—and other French boys—regardless.

I’m a 28-year-old heterosexual male with two questions. I’ve seen you on television talking about the shitty job President Obama has done on gay rights so far. My question is this: Obama said he was against gay marriage during the campaign. How could you ardently support a candidate who sees your love as worth less than heterosexual love? If I were gay, I’d automatically dismiss any candidate who didn’t support full equality for gay people. Hell, I’m straight and I’m pretty close to doing that.

Also: I recently slept with a women who squirted when she came. She demanded that I pull out when she began to come. Is there some reason women who squirt don’t want a dick inside them when they do? Curious if you had any insight on this.

Love the column, Pro Equality And Chicks Ejaculating

P.S. Here’s a pic. Thought it might persuade you to answer my questions. Feel free to share it with your readers.

Thanks for allowing me to share that picture of your ass with my readers, PEACE, because if any backside deserves a worldwide audience, it’s yours. To see the photo, dear readers, go to thestranger.com/savage/peacebutt.

Now… During the Democratic primary, I was fond of saying that I was “for Clinton or Obama or both.” So I wouldn’t describe myself as an ardent Obama supporter. But I was in the tank by the time of the election. And like most gays and lesbians, I’ve been severely disappointed by President Obama’s refusal to move on the promises that candidate Obama made to the gay and lesbian community. I was willing to be patient, though—until the Obama administration compared gay marriage to incest and child rape when arguing for the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. That’s when I blew my big gay stack.

But that doesn’t answer your question: Why would I support a candidate who views my love for my partner as somehow inferior to his love for his wife? Because I’m not an idiot. Because I’m not a JOE NEWTON single-issue voter and Obama was better on other issues—on gay issues and every other issue—than his Republican opponent.

Because politics is about the art of the possible and, I’m sorry, Dennis Kucinich just wasn’t possible.

As for the squirtin’ ladies: I talked to three, and all three said that the contractions they experience as they ejaculate are so intense—and so “outward directed” in the words of one—that they want everything out at once: their come and anything else that should happen to be in ’em when they blow their loads. Added one of my friends: “He had a squirter right there in front of him—why didn’t he ask her?”

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY: The police in Fort Worth, Texas, marked the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall rebellion by raiding a gay bar called the Rainbow Lounge. One of the men arrested, Chad Gibson, was so brutally assaulted by the police that, as of this writing, he remains hospitalized with a life-threatening brain injury.

Police Chief Jeff Halstead claims that the men at the Rainbow Lounge made lewd advances toward his officers and specifically accused Gibson, a slight 26-year-old, of groping one of his cops. This preposterous claim is contradicted by eyewitness accounts and photographic evidence.

We can’t let the police in Fort Worth use the Gay Panic Defense (“That fag touched me, so of course I beat him nearly to death!”) to excuse this brutal violation of the civil rights of Fort Worth’s gay community. If you’re on Facebook, please show your support by joining the Rainbow Lounge Raid group (www.tinyurl.com/lavecu). And please e-mail or call the mayor of Fort Worth— Mike Moncrief, 817-392-6118, mike.moncrief@ fortworthgov.org—and demand a full investigation into the raid on the Rainbow Lounge.

OPENING WEEKEND: Lynn Shelton’s Humpday opens at the Harvard Exit this weekend. Go see it and let Shelton’s masterpiece inspire you to make a film for HUMP!, the amateur-porn contest that inspired her. More info at thestranger.com/hump. Shelton says she’ll make a film for HUMP! if we pack the Harvard Exit this weekend—so go see Humpday, HUMP! fans! Q Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.

mail@savagelove.net

The CENTER for SEX POSITIVE CULTURE © Malixe Photo

Here’s a hypothetical for you: You’ve been corresponding with a young man who lives in Paris.

You know him through a friend in France, and your friend has vetted him. He has offered to pay more than half of your airfare so that you can visit him in Paris. You’ve spoken to him on the phone, and hearing him speak to you in French makes your knees weak.

On the one hand, you can’t really afford it. You’re also not working, and once you get a job you won’t be able to go. You live with your parents, and you don’t know how you’d explain taking a trip when you’re technically broke.

But if your parents disappeared into thin air, you wouldn’t hesitate to go. The trip also might turn out to be a crushing disappointment. On the other hand, you might be passing up the romantic adventure of a lifetime.

And he’s just… so… pretty.

Do you go?

Anxious Straight Girl P.S. I am attaching his photo so you can see why I’m considering this. I trust you will not publish it?

71

July 9, 2009

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