Common Lot Fall 2013 by United Church of Christ

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AAJ O UN N II TT EED D C CHHUURRCCHH OOFF CCHHRRI SI ST T J OUURRNNAALL FFOORR W WO OM MEEN N IIN N TT H HE E U

Marching on Washington:

Then Interview with Marie Fortune

Now

Mirror Time: Photoshopping It's Not Pretty Body Image

Fall 2013

Editor’s Note Christina G. Kukuk

Letters to the Editor

Marching on Washington: Then … and Now Marjory A. Martin Lacette Cross Elizabeth Griswold

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Advocate, Mentor, Friend Remembering Louise S. Wallace, 1912-2013 Barbara Gerlach

Wisdom Calls: Interview with Marie Fortune 22 Mirror Time: It’s Not Pretty 19

Kaji Douša

The Body and the Spirit at Dance Beth A. Donaldson

Miss Representation: Photoshopping Body Image Julia Bluhm

What Happens When Women Read the Bible Together? Barbara J. Essex

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God’s Vision: General Synod 2013 34 Whatever Happened to Women’s Fellowships? 32

Donna Schaper

Calendar of Events 40 Sarah Laughs : A Church to Dye For? 38

Shawnthea Monroe Christina Kukuk

Common Lot is a publication

Editor CLeditor@ucc.org

of Local Church Ministries United Church of Christ 700 Prospect Avenue Cleveland, Ohio 44115 (866)822-8224

www.ucc.org/women

Editor’s Note

To the Editor:

A confession: When I first heard the theme for this Fall issue of Common Lot discussed, the little demon who favors the perch on my left shoulder did a dramatic eye roll. Then she said: “Bodies. Really? When do we get to publish the issue on women’s brains?”

My friend just gave me the spring 2013 issue of Common Lot today at church. It is wonderful. Thank you. I would love to read about women who have prison ministries. Carol Morely

Women’s bodies, it seems, are always a topic up for discussion. They are legislated and objectified, digitally altered and politically controlled. Women cannot escape their bodies. But this is also an issue about women’s brains. The Hebrew tradition that so shapes Christian faith never separated the human body from its spirit the way other religious and cultural traditions that shaped our faith did. Though often forced to the margins of theology’s minority report, women have historically held the two together. So, when it comes to celebrating the 50th anniversary of the historic March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, women’s bodies and brains move together. Where Marjory Martin and Louise Wallace walked beyond a “woman’s place” into very public space for civil rights and women’s rights in the 1960s and 1970s, Kiely Todd Roska and Lacette Cross wrestle with the contemporary challenges women’s bodies in public discourse pose to our personal faith. A depressing parade of headlines about violence against women this year nudged us to check in with Marie Fortune, whose Faith Trust Institute has been prodding religious folks to be part of the solution for 35 years. Other writers in this issue reflect on how body politics shape our body image in popular magazines, in church, and in our own mirrors. In “Sarah Laughs,” you’ll see that Shawnthea Monroe’s body comes with a wicked smart brain, which just happens to be covered in silver tresses. You’ll also find pieces on women’s fellowships, Bible study, and celebrations from General Synod in Long Beach, Calif. We know this isn’t all the brains—or bodies—of UCC women are up to. That’s why we’re asking: When you encounter a UCC woman speaking or writing or acting in ways that make you proud, please share via Twitter with the tag #uccwomen. We also welcome your letters at CLeditor@ucc.org

Rev. Christina G. Kukuk, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, spent her first (albeit short) career as a newspaper and magazine journalist. She loves a beautiful hennaed pregnant belly, but she’ll pass on the stretch mark competition. She is pastor of Embody: A Community of Faith, an emerging UCC church in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. 2

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Wow! Received and read my first issue of Common Lot—all in a day! Fantastic! What a blessing! Keep up the great publication. Rev. Kathleen A. Bleyaert I received my Common Lot in the mail last week at home. I sat down Saturday morning to read an article or two, but as I started reading, I couldn’t put it down and read it from cover to cover! The stories were varied and wonderful personal accounts. I was especially moved by Jennifer Mills-Knutsen’s “Lost and Running.” Congratulations to you as editor of this extraordinary magazine – makes me even prouder to be UCC. Rev. M. Linda Jaramillo

Hearing God where you live (and other surprising places).

Executive Minister Justice and Witness Ministries United Church of Christ

Has something in this issue launched you into a theological argument or made you laugh out loud? We welcome your letters of 150 words or less. Please email them to CLeditor@ucc.org Correction: The Editor’s Note in the Fall 2012 edition of Common Lot misidentified the name of Rachel G. Hackenberg’s blog. You can find it at faithandwater.com. It’s one of many member blogs in the webring of women clergy bloggers and their friends known as RevGalsBlogPals, whose Genesis story includes (yes, you guessed it!) even more amazing UCC women.

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Marjory A. Martin (excerpts from her August 28, 1963 journal/scrapbook) At midnight on August 27, 1963, Marjory Martin filed into her New York City church with more than 400 others to pray and to sing before boarding a fleet of buses destined for the historic “March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.” She recounted her experience in one and a half brief, typed pages, and bound them in a folder with news clippings and other documents from that high point of the Civil Rights struggle.

A Spiritual Crusade The documents are bound by their own time: men do the bulk of the writing and speaking, and in some cases news photos of the integrated bus riders have cropped off the brown faces. (Martin’s scrapbook preserves both the originals and their cropped versions without comment.) The terse statements of fact and scant introspection might leave today’s social media addicts wanting. But in spite of the anachronisms, within the slim folder we can hear a UCC woman’s drive to step out publicly to change her world. “The Sunday after the Birmingham incidents last spring, our deacons called for a church meeting following the morning service. The sermon that morning had been a strong one and the young minister had made it very clear that we could not condemn what was happening in the South unless we were willing, at personal sacrifice, to do something about it. Also, that we in the North and in New York City are equally guilty. “We always have coffee hour after church and there was a good discussion and an editing of the telegram which we were sending to Gov. Wallace in Alabama and to the President and Attorney General of the U.S. We sent a copy to 6

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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., hoping to boost his morale. An offering was taken that morning and sent to the Legal defense com[mittee]. “Next, our Mission of the Church com[mmittee] sent letters to all of our Cong[regational] Christian ministers in Alabama both Negro and white, sending copy of the telegram and saying we stood ready to help in any way, but that we knew we, too, were guilty. You can see that when the March on Washington was planned those of us who could had to have a part! “After the solemn, meaningful worship service with a wonderful inter-racial choir we had been

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served a snack lunch then assigned to our places on the buses. Wearing our badges we had boarded the buses and were rolling by 3 a.m. “Just ahead of me on the bus was a reporter from the Journal American who had asked to do the story from the church point of view. He wrote ‘I rode a freedom bus from NY to the nation’s capital today and all along the 235 miles of highway sensed the feeling of my fellow riders that they were on a religious pilgrimage. Their purpose was freedom and racial equality, but the tone was of a spiritual crusade.’ He also said, ‘There was plenty of prayer before we left New York and plenty of prayer on arrival.’ “As we approached Washington we were joined by hundreds of buses coming from all directions into the city as well as people on foot and in old… [illegible] …. The people on the streets looked but did not smile at us. To me the most touching thing was the change which came over these people as the day wore on. When we traveled the same streets on our way home they were all out waving, making V for Victory signs, holding up their children to see and calling, ‘thank you, thank you.’ It was worth all the effort, discomfort, sleeplessness, etc. that we had encountered. “A great deal has been written about the dignity and quiet behavior of the crowd. It was wonderful. Even with 210,000 people milling around there was no pushing or shoving. A story was told of one Negro woman who said that by accident a white man had stepped on her and had apologized. She said it was the first time a white person had ever apologized to her. “I shall always be grateful to Mr. Jim Allen, a member of our church, a Negro engineer, who had assured a woman Doctor in our group that he would keep an eye on me. Being short, they feared I would be trampled on when the crowd dispersed. Finally, he insisted that I get out of the thickest part and he ‘ran interference’ for me until we were out where we could see the grass and breathe –all this as Dr. King’s voice came out over the crowd ‘I had a dream.’ “Well, you have read the papers and seen T.V. and you know what a significant thing it was and how historic…. I shall never forget and always be glad I went.” F O R

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. Do you know any women who participated in the March on Washington 50 years ago? 2. What would you love to know about their experience? Marjory A. Martin was a member of The Broadway Congregational Church (United Church of Christ) in New York City in 1963.

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Dr. Dorothy Irene Height

Dr. Dorothy Irene Height showed up. Because she did, many more of us are able to show up 50 years later.

Show Up! The Powerof Presence Lacette Cross There are moments in our life that change us; individual instances and collective circumstances that leave indelible marks on our psyches and spirits. In these moments, we often cannot fully comprehend the impact of our presence. Each of us is extended an opportunity to show up and be a part of history. God rarely waits for us to accept this invitation. We are simply thrust in the act of being present. We are, by virtue of circumstances, called to show up, be present, and participate in the happenings around us. Much of this year’s 50th anniversary celebration of the March on Washington centered around the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., his famous “I Have a Dream Speech,” and the amazing work of Bayard Rustin and A. Phillip Randolph. But as I participated in the anniversary events this summer, it was Dr. Dorothy Irene Height I kept thinking about. Pictures abound of Dr. Height’s stately and feminine presence on the stage demonstrating the integral role women played in the civil rights movement even though their presence was grossly overlooked. Countless women who remain nameless made the decision to show up. Women organized and led. Women fried chicken, washed clothes, packed bags, hugged sons, waved good-bye to daughters and prayed countless prayers of protection for the marchers who traveled from across the country to be part of this major move for justice. Though our bodies were not 10

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extravagantly welcomed, the power of our presence was made known because we decided to show up. Organizers sought to rectify the shortcomings and misgivings of that era during the 50th year celebration I attended just a few weeks ago. The intention of inclusion was clear. As a young black clergywoman who is no stranger to my presence being dismissed and overlooked, the wide and varied representation of speakers did my heart good. This time around, women boldly took the stage with words of inspiration and motivation. Their presence was empowering and the embodiment of their sexual self was confident, clear and communicated to those present and all who were watching that women belong here, too. At any point in our day we may become consciously aware of the reality that we are women. This awareness can become so subconscious that we find ourselves living on autopilot—that is, until we read some news story, see a random Facebook status, scroll past some tweet, or watch an investigative report that reminds us that we are indeed women living in a highly critical, overtly sexual, quasi-faith filled world. And it is in this world that we are called to show up. In our varying roles and responsibilities in ministry and life as mothers, pastors, preachers, partners, leaders, writers, sisters, aunts, activists, community workers and church members, we find ourselves differently inundated with covert messages about who we are and

who we should be. Many of us are masters of holding at bay the questions and thoughts we have about who we are as sexual selves doing the work our souls must. In spite of this, we still manage to live, move and have our being in ways that are productive, effective and phenomenal. We are the ones who show up, who make it our duty to be present and who, in doing so, make a difference in the circles we travel and our arenas of influence. Historically, our sexual self has been explained, expressed and embodied within the church, community and society in problematic ways. Anecdotal accounts pile up: women’s bodies are dismissed, denied and disavowed. However, in spite of these stark realities women still have the audacity to show up and be present—whether on the Mall in Washington, D.C., or in the statehouse lobbying for reproductive justice. By doing so, we authentically live out the belief that women are made in the image of God and thus are within our right to simply be—without any excuses, explanations or apologies.

These are the bodies that must show up, and when we show up, we demonstrate the power of our presence.

Dr. Dorothy Irene Height showed up. Because she did, many more of us are able to show up 50 years later. We have a long way to go… before the world realizes that women’s bodies are not a site for public discourse and that recognizing female presence is not the same as objectification. We have far to go before society truly prioritizes the content of a woman’s character and not the shape of her physical attributes. We as women must realize we live, move and have our being in these bodies and yet we are/have been socialized to deny and ignore those bodies—bodies we love with, bodies we teach in, serve in, preach in, bodies we pray, dance and shout in. These bodies give us the freedom to fully express who we are. These are the bodies that must show up, and when we show up, we demonstrate the power of our presence. F O R

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. What does it mean for you to “show up”? 2. How can we empower and encourage one another to embrace the power of our presence? Rev. Lacette Cross is a UCC ordained clergywoman serving as Pastor of Christian Education in a church startup in Hopewell, VA. She has worked for the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, is a columnist for Shepreaches.com, and enjoys making connections between race, gender, sexuality and religion. Follow her on twitter @lacettecross. 11

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Fifty years after Marjory Martin boarded the bus to Washington, fueled by her faith, UCC women today “march on Washington”—literally and figuratively— to advocate for public policy on a range of issues from racial justice to economic justice to reproductive justice as an expression of their religious conviction.

Common Lot contributor Elizabeth Griswold profiles one of those women.

The Political isPersonal With an educational background in History, Religious Studies, and Women’s Studies as an undergraduate, and Master’s degrees in Public Policy as well as Religion and Theology, Kiely Todd Roska spends a lot of time pondering reproductive justice. She has worked in youth ministry at her local UCC congregation, trained and consulted others in comprehensive sex education for her UCC church and conference, and worked as the Executive Director of Minnesota Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice. “You know the feminist saying, ‘The personal is political’?” Roska asked recently. “Well, I’ve always thought the reverse is also true: ‘The political is personal.’” Explaining her approach to educational, pastoral, and advocacy work for reproductive justice from a faith-based perspective, Roska says she finds great meaning and value in the need to tend to the person behind the political slogan. As she explains it, her passion comes from seeing such considerable need for dealing with these issues head-on. “The healthy conversations that need to happen with young people are just not happening,” Roska says. “There is a whole lot of silence, shame, and awkwardness. And this is combined with so much sexual imagery and content in music, media, etc. So a troubling dichotomy is created without the frank conversations that prepare people for actual decisions in their lives.”

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“My mom talked to me at a young age—about safe touch, safe body space, and safe people. And this was not a one-time conversation. I was prepared regarding how my own actions and decisions affect me and others. And I know that many other parents either couldn’t have that conversation or need support to do it.” So while serving as Youth Minister at Cherokee Park United Church, Roska became deeply involved teaching the UCC’s Our Whole Lives (OWL) faith-based comprehensive sex education curriculum and training others to teach it. Her church supported the work and expanded the program to many age levels. Eventually, after word spread that she was the go-to person for OWL, Minnesota Religious

So while she advocates talking about sexuality issues in religious settings, Roska also believes that spiritual language can broaden and deepen the conversation about sexuality in more “secular” settings. Decisions about sexuality and parenting bring up all sorts of religious and spiritual questions. “Who we are intimate with and decisions about when, how, or if to become parents are some of the most intimate and important decisions we make as human beings,” she says. “For me, sexuality and reproduction always bring together both the physical and spiritual.”

a stand may be necessary for political action, but it doesn’t offer honor and respect to the deeply personal aspect of supporting women. For instance, rape is one of the most painful experiences a woman can go through. And women’s experiences are not put at the center of that public conversation. The question is not asked, ‘What does she need from society, from the justice system, etc. in order to heal?’ Real women’s experiences should be at the center! I say women because women are raped much more often, but actually it’s a human problem.”

“Sexuality and reproductive health are complicated, and people have a variety of feelings about their experiences. Miscarriage, infertility, abortion, choosing to give birth in a particular way, a change

She is happy to see that the conversation about sexual and reproductive justice is currently expanding and changing its language as well as building broad coalitions with various organizations and especially with people of color. “I think it is important to lift up voices of women of color, especially as the language of the movement moves more toward reproductive justice rather than reproductive rights. It is mostly women of color and low-income women who have challenged European American women and wealthier women to broaden and deepen their understanding of what reproductive rights and justice mean. The work of organizations like Sister

“I hope that our religious communities can begin to more effectively honor the complicated stories and experiences of people’s lives.” Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC) asked her to also work with them to expand their sex education work to reach many more progressive congregations. “Sometimes values-based conversations in churches are still the sticking point of public policy conversations,” Roska says. But personally, Roska’s faith has actually had the opposite effect and has inspired her to do this work. “For me, the human body and our sexuality are a sacred thing and a gift. But they are not always treated that way,” she explains. “We need to celebrate it and also be careful about it. We ought to tread lightly, using both humor and reverence. This is something beautiful and good that we were created with, and faith communities can be places of strength and affirmation, not exclusion and shame. We should be able to bring our whole selves and be able to talk about every aspect of our lives, including our sexuality.”

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in gender identity, choosing to love a partner that our family does not approve of...there is so much judgment, silence, and shame around our bodily experiences,” Roska says. “I hope that our religious communities can begin to more effectively honor the complicated stories and experiences of people’s lives. I think ritual is an important element of that honoring. It is not a conflict of my pro-choice values to take part in a funeral experience or other ritual for a pregnancy loss (miscarriage, stillbirth, or abortion), if a woman so desires.” Roska continues, “Others find it hard to accept that women have nuanced feelings about their experiences, and fear it may be a slippery slope to the notion that abortion is always bad. But for me, as a pastoral person, I have to honor all of those feelings.” “There can be great difficulty and pain. Angry yelling regarding laws being passed, or harsh rhetoric taking

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Song and programs like ‘Keeping it Real’ are really important,” says Roska. Sister Song describes itself as a Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective, and “Keeping it Real” is a faith-based sexuality education dialogue model of RCRC developed for African American teens by the National Black Church Initiative. “The center of one part of the movement was to legalize abortion, and it’s still an important part of the work. But the movement for sexual and reproductive justice is a broad-based movement. It includes ensuring that transgender people have full access to health care services, ensuring that young people have access to holistic and comprehensive sexuality education, ensuring that people are not bullied or discriminated against for their gender identity or sexual orientation, and ensuring that pregnant women have access to the prenatal, birthing, and postpartum care they need. So a woman has the right to terminate a pregnancy, and she also has the right to bring forth a healthy child, if she so chooses.” “It’s much more broad than just abortion. I hope to continue to see the work growing as part of a really expansive sexual and reproductive health movement.” And to that end, may we say, “March on!”

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. What does the saying, “The personal is political” mean to you? 2. What is one thing you care so much about because of your faith that you would personally speak to a legislator about it (or already have)?

Rev. Elizabeth Griswold serves as the pastor of Parkside Community Church, UCC, in Sacramento, CA and she proudly displays on her car the RCRC bumper sticker: “Pro-Faith, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice”!

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Remembering Louise S. Wallace Telegram from President John F. Kennedy inviting Louise Wallace to attend a White House meeting of religious leaders addressing civil rights.

, e t a c o v d A , r o t Men d n e i Fr

1912-2013 Barbara Gerlach Somewhere in the ninth row of the March on Washington, August 28, 1963, sat Louise Wallace, an invited guest of President Kennedy. We often see people more clearly after they die, “ . . .through a mirror dimly; but then face to face. (1 Cor 13:.12 NRSV). That is true of Louise Wallace. Louise and I met in 1971 when we were both asked to serve on the newly-formed United Church of Christ Task Force on the Status and Role of Women in Church in Society. I was a young feminist and recently ordained newcomer to the denomination, serving as co-pastor in my first parish. Louise, a respected lay leader in the UCC and ecumenical circles, was 36 years older than me. Louise came from a family of ministers, including her father, a pastor in a UCC predecessor church, who emigrated from Switzerland to the United States and then died when she was nine. Had she been born a generation later, Louise might have followed her father into ministry. Instead she took her skills into oratory and debate, studied speech and drama, and became an elementary school teacher. That is, until she married and was forced to resign because married women were not allowed to teach in the Kansas City school system. With that door closed, Louise turned her extraordinary leadership capacity to the burgeoning ecumenical movement, saying in an interview in 2007: ...I was imbued along the way with the Spirit of Christ… really with our logo today; that it’s only one Christ and one God; that we can serve better if we serve together, and across our name identities, which in God’s sight doesn’t mean that much anyhow. I was highly motivated by that, and the zeal was working toward greater union among all denominations. First for Kansas City, then for Missouri, Louise began serving on boards of ecumenical women’s organizations. In 1950, she was elected to the Board of the Department of United Church Women of the newly-organized National Council of Churches (NCC), which brought together three interdenominational women’s organizations and about 12 million women. In 1961, she became the national president of United Church Women, which would later become Church Women United.

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As president of United Church Women, Louise served on the NCC governing board during some of the most tumultuous years of the Civil Rights movement. She served on the NCC Commission of Race and Religion in 1963. In July of that year, by telegram, President John F. Kennedy invited her to meet at the White House “with a group of leaders of women’s organizations throughout the country to discuss those aspects of the nations’ civil rights problem in which women and women’s organizations can play a special role.” The next month found her at the March on Washington. And a year later, in August 1964, President Johnson invited her to serve on the National Citizens’ Committee for Community Relations “to obtain peaceful and voluntary compliance with provision of the new Civil Rights Act.”

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National leadership in the UCC followed, then leadership in the World Council of Churches, which led Louise as far as Nigeria and Rotterdam. Throughout her life, whether working with the YWCA, Planned Parenthood, United Church Women, the UCC Task Force on Women, or marching with the Jeannette Rankin Brigade against the War in Vietnam, Louise was an unwavering advocate for equal rights for women in church and society, including reproductive health and maternal services. In 2007 at age 95, Louise was awarded the “Women of Vision” award at the “50th anniversary” General Synod for her part in establishing the Antoinette Brown Award to recognize outstanding women ministers in the UCC. As Louise described it in an interview: “Well, it was at our final meeting when the Task Force [on Women] had its report ready for General Synod. We were nervous and excited about it, and all of a sudden somebody said . . . ‘We ought to do something to acknowledge women ministers at this coming General Synod and then the idea just popped out, just like daisies in spring. Oh we ought to do this; we ought to do that; we ought to have a medal. What will we name it? We’ll name it Antoinette Brown [after the first Louise Wallace with former woman ordained in the United States by a Congregational UCC General Minister and Church in 1853].’” President John Thomas. When the meeting ended, Louise hit the road, enlisted the support of her local church, Country Club UCC, found a jeweler, and had 50 medals made to start a tradition of recognizing outstanding women in ministry. Louise Wallace died this past August, at the age of 101. Her obituary notes that she attended services at Country Club Congregational UCC until just a few weeks before her death. Thank you, Louise, for opening doors for so many women, for being an advocate, mentor, and friend to so many of us in the UCC and ecumenical circles.

Rev. Barbara Gerlach is an artist, writer, and retired parish minister who served as a member and co-chair of the UCC Task Force and Advisory Commission on Women in Church and Society from 1971-1979. She received the Antoinette Brown Award in 2011.

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Are We Any Better? In a year when every week seems to bring the

next outrageous headline about sexual violence within the United States or beyond, Common Lot sought the wisdom of the Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune, founder and senior analyst with the FaithTrust Institute. Since 1976, the Institute has worked with people of faith to train and educate others to end sexual and domestic violence.

Christina G. Kukuk

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CL: India, "The Invisible War" in our own military, Steubenville, the U.S. Catholic school teacher fired when her husband attacked her at work, setbacks at state legislatures over women’s reproductive rights… What is going on? Is sexual violence getting worse? Is there some sort of backlash? Or does it just seem that way because of media coverage?

MF: I don’t think it’s getting worse per se…I think that there is some backlash, but I also think that some of it has just always been there. It’s sort of the more we know, the more we know. The backlash part is the cultural tension and response to the progress women make around equal rights… What has caught peoples’ awareness is the blatant manifestation [of the problem of sexual violence].

CL: What has been the most disheartening story of sexual violence for you this year?

MF: In many ways, the Steubenville case was, because there seemed to be no sense on the part of the young men involved that there was any problem here, and I found that the most disturbing. They seemed to be surprised that they were arrested and prosecuted. One of the things I thought about was: Where were they going to church or synagogue? What were they learning there or not learning there that somehow, in terms of their moral development, they had the capacity to exploit the vulnerability of a young woman like this with seemingly no reservation—at least that we could tell from the media accounts.

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CL: With the Steubenville story, did you have a moment when you thought: What have these last decades been for if there’s a community of young people who didn’t see a problem with this?

MF: Absolutely. I have that feeling every day. But what I believe is how much worse it would be had we not been doing this for the past 40 years, and how much more silent victims would be. There really would be the same old same old, but with no one standing up and saying, “Wait a minute. This is not acceptable.”

CL: Was there a story or an incident, maybe one that didn’t get much press, that gave you hope that people in communities are making some headway at reducing sexual violence or eliminating it in some cases?

MF: I’m always hopeful and inspired by the incredible courage and resilience of survivors of sexual and domestic violence. …There is a wonderful group called Voices and Faces out of Chicago that I think is using a really interesting model. Their focus is to give voice to survivors and really use the opportunity for not only speaking out but also writing about experiences as a way to empower survivors. Every time I see that kind of thing happen or people speaking up in community… I am always encouraged by that. That’s one thing that’s very clear: There will be no more silence around these experiences. Eventually, it will be that the breaking of silence and people stepping out to say, “We will not continue to allow these things to happen” that I think will tip the cultural norms in a different direction. Even though we are still up against it and facing the next outrageous story every week, it’s in a different context than it was 40 years ago when anyone who experienced it believed they were the only one in the world. That has definitely changed. CL: You've said that historically faith communities have been part of the problem. Can you explain?

MF: You don’t have to go back too far and look at the literature and the teaching and certain publications to see the ways in which—if sexual violence victims were even acknowledged, they were blamed for what had happened, they were punished, they were shunned. And that was true across the culture. It wasn’t just the faith community, it was

the cultural norm. But the bottom line was that faith leaders were contributing to that and not calling it out. When I came through Sunday school, the teachings around the David and Bathsheba story were about how Bathsheba was a temptress, and the whole story revolves around what she did to David. It’s only been pretty recently there’s been a shift in reading that story from Bathsheba’s perspective and realizing that she was a victim of David’s exploitation as powerful king and the lengths he was willing to go to exploit her, even though the story itself calls him out for it. CL: Is there any aspect of your faith or your faith tradition that inspires you to keep working in this area to end sexual and domestic violence?

MF: Really, the thing that sustains me is my anger, frankly—in a good way. It’s not bitterness, it’s just I realized over the years, when you read about those stories, it still catches my anger. I’m glad I can still be angry about it and not cynical. I realize that my faith has informed my worldview in that regard and my sense that this was never God’s intent for us. God did not create us to be victims and victimizers.

CL: What advice would you give to others when they are feeing hopeless? What can individuals or churches do to not feel helpless in the face of sexual violence?

MF: I think the main thing is to be connected with other people. . . I do training with Child Protective Services social workers, people who are on the front lines working with child abuse, which is some of the most difficult work ever. I always ask them, “How many of you are active in a faith community?” And it’s usually at least two-thirds who are are active in a faith community. And then I ask them, “How many of your faith communities know what you do for a living?” And hardly any of them do. They are afraid F O R

to tell their faith community that they’re a child protection worker. And I’m like, no, no, no… They need to know so they can be praying for you and supporting you in this very, very hard work that you’re doing on behalf of our whole community. I want to close that circle for people, so that they are representing their faith community and their faith community is standing by them. CL: And do you think the wider church can facilitate some of that connection?

MF: There’s a paradox about issues of sexual and domestic violence that we have to talk about and be careful about. I can remember 20 years ago when we brought a pronouncement to General Synod on family violence. We did all our homework and drafted this really great document and were really excited that we were finally going to get some visibility on this issue. And it came up, people read it. And they voted on it and passed it and it was done. But there was no engagement because it was like, “Oh that’s really a good thing but let’s not talk about it.” I remember afterward we were all sort of stunned by that. We were trying to use it as an opportunity. I realized later that’s the problem in the liberal church. We’re on the right side of all the issues, but the willingness to go deeper and recognize… that this is not just an issue for other people out there that we need to be concerned about, but this is going on in our families, in our churches, and in our communities, and we’ve got to dig deeper. That’s historically been a challenge for us: to not just sort of take a politically correct position and move on. But to realize that this is part of who we are and our culture and our churches and we’ve got to look at ourselves.

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. What has been the most disheartening story of sexual violence for you this year? 2 What gives you hope that more people will be able to have the “abundant life” Jesus speaks about in John’s gospel? Rev. Marie M. Fortune, a minister in the United Church of Christ, founded FaithTrust Institute in 1977. Her books include Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse and Sexual Violence: The Sin Revisited. She blogs at faithtrustinstitute.org/blog.

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very morning I force myself to stand naked in front of a full-length mirror. I wish this were part of a sun salutation ritual, a time of self-affirmation and celebration of my God-given, well-functioning form. But the truth is that I stand there because I can’t help but tinker with my body, and my mirror time helps me to compile my list. Ask me at any time, and there will be a running queue of what I would like to change. After the latest winter hibernation, my list is a bit longer, but I always have one. (As of today, my thighs have gotten bigger than I’d like. I’d prefer my waist to be its size from last summer, but if I stuck on a bikini, I wouldn’t be embarrassed.)

MIRROR TIME: IT’S NOT PRETTY ^

Kaji Dousa

I do this, this body-thought pattern: 1) critically evaluating each section and 2) wrapping up the thought with conclusions I can live with. That livable conclusion is essential; without it, my thoughts whirl into a frenzy of body-loathing that only a delicious snack (preferably a soft, stinky cheese) can calm.

Thoughts have a way of avoiding theological defensibility, and my body-thoughts are no exception. I can’t imagine God willing or desiring for me to find comfort in my bikinireadiness. But, oh God, I do. Because the truth is that I love my shape...now. And I love it for all the wrong reasons, which I know because this love is new. And it is entirely tied to being thin, also relatively new. I was once obese. My metabolism was askew, and I hated my body. I could stand without shame before a congregation, a woman hidden in men’s flowing robes, because I felt that my fat softened me, rounding my sharper edges. I always had what I considered a pretty face, and my perception was that being larger made me less threatening. No one was going to worry about me around her husband. Professionally, I felt comfortable. Romantically, it was a disaster. Of course I couldn’t necessarily pinpoint the lack of interest I experienced from men to be specifically because of my weight, but I can say that at a certain point I even stopped dreaming of the possibility of getting married. I was an isolated extrovert— fun at the party, but always holding people at arm’s length, assuming they’d want to be farther because if they came closer they would be as disgusted with me as I was with myself. I fooled myself in thinking that this did not extend to the congregation. Feedback from my training church left me with a general impression of support and encouragement, but disappointment with my distance. It hadn’t occurred to me that congregants had noticed or cared.

I tried to lose weight, but each time I’d try, I’d lose something only to gain it back and then some. Weight loss began to scare me because I feared I would eventually wind up heavier than I’d been before the diet. Then, several years ago, I was fed up and ready for something new. I surgically re-routed my digestive system. The pounds dropped, and, for the first time in

tweaked rather than a God-given whole to be cherished. This part of me is still quite broken, but I am full of hope. To be whole would mean being well in a way no physical condition or disease could shatter. In my brokenness, this is my prayer.

To be whole would mean being well in a way no physical condition or disease could shatter. my adult life, I learned all the advantages to being skinny. Not lean, not fit, not healthy. I was skinny, and it felt good. A lot of the problems I had cautiously attributed to being overweight seemingly vanished: romantic attention, social invitations, and perceptions of closeness were no longer an issue. I stopped avoiding opportunities to see people I hadn’t seen in years. Reunions became a joy. My fat no longer mediates my interactions. And yet I believe myself to be no healthier now than I was before. I look on my sense of satisfaction tinkering with my body and realize that, quite frankly, I’m in need of prayer. Ask me, and I’d tell you that God looks on any creature in any form of health and sees indescribable beauty. My spiritual path has taken me to new heights in seeing this in others. The next—difficult—step is to apply it personally. My body is physically healthier, but my body image reflects deep dis-ease. My tinkering masks my fears, chopping my body into parts to be F O R

Here is how I remind myself to shape my prayers for this healing: God help me to love the bumps and scratches and scars and to see them as beautiful. God end my tinkering and let me be whole. God convert my mirror time into a time for grateful praise—no matter what I see. Thank you, God, for the body I have today, for the feet that plant me on the ground and the hands you made to do your work. Your image, O God, is not reflected in what is pretty but in what is beautiful, and we all have that. Help me to see it in every face I encounter today. Amen.

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. What body parts are on your “tinkering” list? 2. Take one body part on that list. Try turning your tinkering wish into thanks. Rev. Kaji Douša is Senior Minister of United Church of Christ La Mesa (San Diego) where her ministry focuses on deepening connections, empowering voices and appreciating the freshness of the Spirit.

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By some surprisingly bold intuition, I “went out for” the dance team in high school, which was a varsity sport in that school. I was heavy and ashamed of myself and afraid. So, I thought I might bargain with the coach to let me just do the warm-ups in the back of the studio in an effort to lose weight but opt out of choreographing and performing with the rest of the team. Thankfully, she wouldn’t have it. She was as skeptical of me as I was of myself, but required that I do the assignment everyone else completed to try out for the team: create and share a minute of choreography. With trepidation and secret but absolute joy, I danced my little piece. My coach, whose name was appropriately Mrs. Cradle, responded in a way that changed—and I would wager, saved my life. She said the dance was “bad” (meaning good) and fussed over me from that day on as if I was something! t turns out that this body, big and round and unacceptable as it has always seemed to the outer world, is also expressive and languid and flexible and strong. Dance became the vehicle that drove me to college (where I majored in modern dance and music), then into seminary (to Pacific School of Religion where there were dance classes on the syllabus), and toward the great joy of doing competitive hula dancing in California and Hawaii.

When I started to dance hula, the gifts in dancing increased exponentially. In hula, I found a sense of both power and grace, and a form full of humor and sensuality as well as dignity and reverence that once again would transform my life. Hula, a storytelling form that holds the rich and sophisticated

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Body Spirit Dance The

No matter who we are, or what we look like, or what shape we take, we are children of God, and we are called to proclaim our love in many and various ways.

and

Beth A. Donaldson

history of the Hawaiian people, provided me with a language for my own life’s story. When I danced, I discovered my voice and was able to begin to tell a story under and beyond all the pain, shame and confusion that had grown in me from striving to reconcile my lived experience with the messages from popular culture about size.

toward anyone who is overweight. Here’s the thing for me, though. This body—this big, heavy, often awkward and out-of-place body—through dancing is able to do so much that strengthens my soul. Dancing in this body is a source of great joy, and it has brought me to the heights of spiritual experience.

I am a large woman. And despite decades of effort and great desire otherwise, it appears that this may be the reality for me for most of my life. It has not been an easy reality, either socially or physically— even spiritually. There is a hopelessness that comes along with feeling so powerless to change something that culture deems so very changeable that it practically sanctions judgment and cruelty

So I dance. And I continue to dance as I age, even though this too might not be typical or expected by our society. I continue to dance because by doing so I proclaim truth I could not express with words. By continuing to dance, I allow my body to testify to the grace of God that is true for every human being—the grace that has allowed us the immeasurable joy of embodiment, that our lives are contained in these beautiful vessels—whatever our shape or form or ability.

As a local church minister, I now lead others in dance, and I have been overjoyed by how the congregation has responded to this new dynamic in our church—whether in our social gatherings or in worship. My dancing seems to give others permission. It sends a subtle but important message that we don’t have to be ashamed of ourselves, contrary to what our society insists at almost every turn. As a minister of the gospel, dancing has been another way of proclaiming the unconditional love of God—that no matter who we are, or what we look like, or what shape we take, we are children of God, and we are called to proclaim our love in many and various ways. Dance, for me, is that very proclamation! Now others dance with me.

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At the United Church of Christ in New Brighton, Minn., it began at Christmas about six years ago when a small group of intrepid volunteers learned a dance I choreographed to “Away in a Manger.” It was a simple lullaby, and the movements were not complicated. One didn’t need to be a trained dancer to learn the dance. This group was also willing to actually dance in worship for the congregation that holiday season. We ranged in age from seven to seventy-something. And the response was overwhelming. Many expressed thankfulness and wonder.

celebrated the irony and good news of Christ’s resurrection. On All Saints Sunday, we swayed back and forth in a low stance, rhythmically moving to “Wanting Memories” by Sweet Honey in the Rock, as we honored our loved ones and affirmed the spiritual practice of remembering as a way to heal our wounded hearts. And on a random Sunday in the summer, we danced full-bodied grand gestures to “Have a Little Faith in Me” by John Hiatt. When the dance group “performs,” it is not unusual for tears to flow in the congregation. Our bodies hold our life stories and our lived experiences. When we allow ourselves to be in our bodies— whatever shape they may take—and to move and express ourselves through them, we become much more fully human.

Dancing in a large body is an act of devotion and an act of defiance at once.

Now we dance in church regularly and when we do, we enthusiastically also introduce popular music from the “secular” world into our worship, inviting the congregation to hear it with new ears. On Palm Sunday, we marched to “Carry On!” by Fun., embodying the parade atmosphere of Christ’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem. On Easter, we twirled to “Hello, Goodbye” by the Beatles and F O R

I dance in a large body. In doing so, I am able (even if only for a short time) to be unapologetic for the creation I am as a child of God. In some contexts, this is a revolutionary act. I want the children in this church (and to be honest, the adult women and men, too) to see this and know that they too can be proud of who they are—whatever shape, size, color, or sex they are. Dancing in a large body is an act of devotion and an act of defiance at once. Dancing in this body is a way to preach without words about the unconditional love of God in Jesus Christ and to proclaim the grace of God’s goodness with every move and in every stillness.

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. How comfortable would you feel dancing in worship? 2. How might dancing in your own body be both “an act of devotion and an act of defiance”? Rev. Beth A. Donaldson is Lead Minister of The United Church of Christ, New Brighton, Minn. She is also a dancer.

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Miss Representatio n Photosh

Body Image

opping

14-year-old Julia Bluhm started an online petition asking Seventeen magazine to stop Photoshopping its models to make them “skinnier, blemish-free, light-skinned, etc.” She ended up with over 80,000 signatures and a meeting with Seventeen’s editor-in-chief.

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I was thirteen when I discovered “SPARK Movement,” an organization dedicated to fighting sexualization in the media and many of the issues that affect girls and women. As one of a number of teenage bloggers from all over the world and a newbie to the group, I looked up to the other girls who had already helped launch petitions and actions that had gathered lots of news coverage. I guess it was hard to imagine myself helping out with all that magic. I was one of the youngest members, I was shy, and I felt kind of clueless about feminism compared to all the other girls. I’d soon discover that all of that didn’t really matter, because I wasn’t doing anything alone. As a group, we were basically invincible. I got my first big taste of the world of activism when I wrote a petition that SPARK had been stewing up for a while. The petition specifically asked Seventeen magazine to stop digitally altering their models to make them look skinnier, blemish-free, light-skinned etc. We were inspired to start the petition because we knew how huge an effect unrealistically edited pictures can have on people’s self esteem. After all, three-quarters of girls feel unhappy with their bodies after looking through a fashion magazine for three minutes. Why does this happen? Because we start believing that these perfect images are the definition of beauty, and it makes us feel inadequate. This unrealistic idea of beauty can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and eating disorders. So the petition I wrote went up on Change.org and started gathering signatures fast. Change.org sent out emails, SPARK members shared it on Facebook, and many of our partner organizations helped spread the news as well. Soon, about 25,000 signatures in, I was invited to fly to New York City to speak on behalf of the SPARK team on CNN and ABC news. During the trip we held a mock “photo shoot” outside Seventeen magazine’s headquarters, where we held signs and reporters asked us questions. I guess we were noticed, because I was invited to go up and speak with Ann Shocket, the editor-in-chief of Seventeen, with my mom and Dana Edell (the director of SPARK). We talked for about an hour, mostly about body image and self esteem among teenage girls, and how perfectly-edited images can have an effect on that. She didn’t promise anything, but said that she would “get in touch with us in the future.” So we left feeling pretty good. Then, 3 months and 86,000 signatures later, I received news that Seventeen had published something in their August issue about promising not to digitally alter images. Sure enough, I opened up the latest issue and saw what they called a “Body Peace Treaty,” where they vowed not to digitally alter “girls’ body or face shapes” and also to feature diverse pictures of girls in their magazine. Sure, they claimed that they “never had, and never will” edit girls’ bodies and faces, but we were still happy with their response . . . Because it was a response! We got the most popular fashion and beauty magazine in the

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U.S. to not only listen to us, but also to dedicate an entire page of their magazine to the digital alteration commonly called Photoshopping. Also, since they have now made an official public promise about these issues, we can totally call them out in the future if we find that they aren’t following through. Now, over a year later, I’m still happy that Seventeen responded the way they did. Sure, I wish they would have recognized SPARK, or admitted to digitally altering images previously, but I also know that getting exactly what we wanted is unrealistic. They are a huge company with a ton of power, so what they did do was pretty amazing.

Three-quarters of girls feel unhappy with their bodies after looking through a fashion magazine for three minutes. Seventeen is far from perfect. Very, very far. I still grimace every time I see an article about “Body Peace” followed by a diet plan for “flat abs.” I still know that a few pages away from a photo spread celebrating plus size models, there will be a guide on how to dress so you look “slimmer.” All that aside, I do think that Seventeen is making baby steps in the right direction. Getting them to come clean about the issue of digital alteration was one of those steps. I think we have definitely made an impact. I’m sure Ann Shocket still thinks of us in the back of her mind when she is choosing between a model who is size 00 and a model who is size 6. And it’s not just Seventeen. I bet a lot of magazines are starting to at least think about body image and whether their pages are sending good or bad messages. In that sense, we have made progress. My hope is that the petition we created will help pave the road for other activist teams, organizations, and outspoken teenagers to take a stand against these issues, too. That’s how the progress will keep growing. F O R

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. Have you ever participated in a campaign for social or political change? How did you get your voice heard? 2. What local, national, or global issue do you most want to see changed? Julia Bluhm is a 15-year-old who attends the First Congregational UCC Church of Waterville, Maine. She is a blogger and activist for SPARK Movement. Julia attends Maine Central Institute, and is currently training to be a ballet dancer.

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Over the years, I have led Bible studies with women and sat in on women’s groups. They all, regardless of the diversity of the groups, share some things in common: • As they read together, women relax and engage each other in studying biblical texts. They give each other permission to ask questions and to assess what the Bible is saying to women today. Although they consult scholars of all kinds, these women see themselves as interpreters of God’s Word. • Biblical texts give women permission to be honest about their lives. By exploring the lives of biblical women with all the drama, suspense, and anxiety in the texts, women see their own lives alongside the Bible. They empathize with the character who deals with domestic abuse, raising children, making ends meet, dreams deferred and denied, as well as relationships with other women and men.

WALKING INTO THE NARTHEX OF THE STATELY

What Happens When Women Read the Bible Together? Barbara J. Essex

CHURCH ON THE GREEN IN NEW ENGLAND, I EXPECTED DECORUM AND A FORMAL GREETING. I WAS HANDED A CHURCH BULLETIN BY A WOMAN IN HER BATHROBE AND HOUSE SLIPPERS. I WAS TAKEN ABACK, BUT DIDN’T ASK WHY SHE WAS DRESSED LIKE THAT FOR SUNDAY WORSHIP. Then I noticed a woman approaching the pulpit to read the announcements for the coming week. She, too, wore a bathrobe, and her hair was adorned with a multitude of pink foam rollers. Okay, I thought, something is up! As the choir marched into the sanctuary, all the women were either in pajamas or bathrobes and house slippers. When the pastor entered the sanctuary and made her way down the center aisle towards the chancel, I thought I would lose it. She wore her pajamas, a bathrobe, house slippers, with a shower cap on her head and carried a bath brush in hand!

My first thought was: Oh no, she didn’t! But she had indeed. Just before leading us in the responsive Call to Worship, she explained what was happening. The women’s group had just completed a Bible study of some infamous women of the Bible—you know the ones: Eve, Lot’s Wife, Rebekah, Potiphar’s Wife, Delilah, Jezebel—yes, those women. The women’s Bible study group wanted to share what they had learned and experienced during their time together, so they staged a pajama party. Along with the pastor, various members of the study group shared their impressions of selected biblical women. Their presentations were whimsical and informative. Each presenter shared an insight from their study that allowed us to see how we mirror the women in the Bible, regardless of our gender. Imagine that! What happens when women read the Bible together? Almost anything! Women have a way of uncovering layers of meaning when they gather. Women in UCC churches have taken Bible study as an opportunity to build community and to engage in hands-on ministry and mission. In these groups, women have been able to let their hair down and get real about the realities of their lives as they explore how faith informs their perspectives and choices.

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• Women discover a newfound depth of community and connection. Women relate to each other through telling their stories. More than once, I’ve heard women who have known each for years declare, “I never knew that about you!” This is especially poignant in intergenerational groups where there is interplay of wisdom and innovation. The women find they share much in common regardless of their ages and life circumstances.

More than once, I’ve heard women who have known each for years declare, “I never knew that about you!”

• Women discover and claim a sense of freedom in the company of other women. Even women who pride themselves on being private relish the opportunity to share their stories. In an atmosphere of trust, they open up and disclose their joys and concerns. Women remain in these groups because they feel comfortable and accepted. They belong to each other and look out for each other in meaningful and deep ways.

• The women almost always express a sense of call to do something for someone else. This leads to creative hands-on ministry and mission projects, anything from care packages sent to places devastated by natural disasters to providing lunch for local children during the summer when regular feeding programs are on hiatus. When women read the Bible together, they deepen their sense of community and connection. Their study leads to more active church lives, giving of their time, talent, and treasure. They support each other and pray each other through the trials, tribulations and triumphs of life in this present age. They enhance their spiritual formation through honest interactions with other women: talking and sharing, laughing and praying, working and growing, giving and receiving. When women read the Bible together, they are transformed, affirmed, accepted, encouraged and empowered to be themselves—fully and authentically. Want to do something different, special, out of the box? Gather a group of women in your church to read and study the Bible. Your group may hold a pajama party during Sunday worship—or not! Just be prepared for anything. That is what happens when women get together. Imagine that! F O R

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. When was the last time you studied the Bible with other women? 2. What is the most surprising thing you’ve experienced when women read the Bible together? Rev. Barbara J. Essex is an ordained minister (UCC), author, and preacher who leads Bible studies, retreats, and workshops. Her newest book is Girlfriends: Exploring Women’s Relationships in the Bible. Find out more about her at www.barbarajessex.com.

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We Asked . . . You Answered Human trafficking

GOD S VISION: General Synod 29 June 28 - July, 2013

Sex slaves/ trafficking

That we do not use our voices as a vehicle for change early enough, and that our righteous anger is labeled “bitchy!”

Female circumcision

Government-sanctioned abuse against women, especially in the Middle East and India.

Slavery and human bondage

THE GLOBAL ISSUE FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS THAT MOST BREAKS MY HEART IS ________?

Pay. Not just monetary. Education! Girls who can’t go to school because they are only “good” for work in the home/field/ factory.

Rape

That in many countries, women and girls have no hope, no choices, no education.

Not having control of our own bodies. 33

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Instead of everybody working outside the home, what would have happened if a deeper integration of the domestic had transformed the public? What if we ate off plates instead of off Styrofoam? Or had a silver tea service from which we actually drank tea? Let me tell you what that woman told me when I asked her why. She answered that they were in charge of the “lovelies.” “Without us,” she said, “church would not be beautiful.” My liberation, which could be called my women’s liberation, began with the thud of her answer. Duh.

Donna Schaper

I once asked a women’s fellowship “lifer” what kept her so committed to women’s fellowships. For me, the meetings were often dull and trivializing, with so much attention paid to the flower budget or which kind of sandwiches should be served at the Advent tea. As a pastor, I knew that attendance was mandatory, and I often criticized the compulsory. I also secretly worried that the women who attended had little value in the world’s terms. I was still one of those binary feminists who wanted women to join men in being in charge of the church’s direction, its board of trustees, its money, and its real estate. I saw reality then in the masculine terms of power and authority, that precious freedom that when you speak someone listens. I didn’t even like the word “fellowship” to describe an affiliation of females. Then I learned something more about men and the way they have (historically) worked. I have changed my mind about women’s fellowships. This change has to do with my overall appreciation and critique of feminism. Would that men had become more like women instead of women becoming more like men! Imagine that.

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Imagine churches without flowers, seasonally arranged in vases that have their own shelf in the kitchen. Or what would happen if the intimacies of the thrift store volunteers didn’t have each other, when business died at 3 or 4 in the afternoon on Tuesdays? Or what would church be without coffee hours and homemade cookies? Or Christmas bazaars where children buy hand-crafted gifts for parents and the church makes a little money, which the women carefully guard?

Would that men had become more like women instead of women becoming more like men! Imagine that.

The rite of the altar cloth—its laundering and ironing and touching and smoothing—is as spiritual as the words of institution for some people. What would a funeral be without the casseroles coming out of their kitchen cabinets as soon as the word goes out that someone is gone? My husband, who is Jewish, says he is not crazy about Protestantism but adores the baked goods. A Protestant cookie is a work of art. Its home has been the Women’s Fellowship. Bake sales may not be popular with some people but for me they are the icon of the women’s fellowship. And what church doesn’t have its own cookbook, remembering Mrs. Gordon’s pickles or Mrs. Phelps’ potato salad? Now that food comes out of Monsanto, every one of these church cookbooks should be put in the Smithsonian Institution, just for respect. If not longing. Before you decide I am a hopeless romantic about women’s fellowships, you’ll want to know what happened with one coffee hour. The women’s fellowship members were tapping the hands of the children if they took the packaged cookies before it was “time.” They diluted the coffee and bought Folger’s, which was a good buy if not good coffee. Then the younger Cuban women, who worked “outside” and did not attend the fellowship, decided to make strong Cuban coffee and to charge for it. They made a lot of money and allowed the Women’s Fellowship to dilute less. Thrift and frugality are virtues in a women’s fellowship, until they take a slight turn towards the stingy. That balance was always a problem for the “lovelies.” How many Sundays should there be plastic flowers on the altar and when should they be changed out? I wonder, with you, about what is next for women and fellowship. I know my 87-year-old mother wouldn’t miss her women’s Bible study for the world. I know that her friends are there, her confidences are there, and her spiritual longings are there. Women’s fellowships were “consciousness

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raising” or “support” groups long before women knew how profoundly we need them. Few women still sit at the end of a cloth-covered table, in front of a silver urn, taking their turn at “pouring.” We don’t hand write the minutes of our meetings either. Those minutes, by the way, should also go into the Smithsonian, noting that Mrs. Rhodes “poured,” or that the annual bazaar raised $65.12, or that the pastoral caller for the month was Mrs. Webber and that she made four nursing home calls and two hospital visits. The minutes also

I have changed my mind about women’s fellowships. showed the way the money earned went to “missions,” and how much of the frugality was done precisely to make sure more money could go for missions, abroad or locally. What will happen in the next 100 years of women getting together to be lovely with each other and for others? Already we see signs of integration of male and female leadership, from pastor to moderator and back. Many former women’s fellowship graduates proudly tell me they were the first F O R

woman moderator of their church. Some pastor’s wives and pastors no longer feel the compulsion to attend the segregated women’s meetings. For one, some pastors have husbands. And some of the pastors’ husbands are better cooks and bakers than their wives. It’s a time of evolution as well as wonder and appreciation. The need for the lovelies will not go away. Nor will the need women have for each other. What will change is the vessel. Ladies no longer have time to meet on the fourth Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. Some call that liberation. I wonder. At my church now we have a women’s meeting at 1:30 on Thursdays. It is a late lunch and only the women who work close by can make it. There are only six of us and we are an odd bunch for sure. We all work “outside the home.” We gather for an hour, with one person taking responsibility for a reading, a physical exercise, and after we have relaxed and been quiet with each other, we devour the time, spilling out our guts, our intestinal fortitudes and our intestinal growlings. Then we go back to work. The men here take care of the flowers and the decorations. Coffee hour leadership rotates. We don’t do fund raisers, even book sales any more, because “no one has the time.” The next hundred years for women’s fellowships will have to find a way to deal with the time famine. They will. Women will find each other. So will many men. But the “lovelies?” Who will love them into being?

R E F L E C T I O N :

1. What have been the strengths of women’s fellowships past and present? 2. Who cares for the “lovelies” in your church? 3. What ways have women you know found to deal with “the time famine”? Rev. Donna Schaper is Senior Minister at Judson Memorial Church in New York City. Check out her blog, Grace at Table, at donnaschaper.com.

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Dear UCC sisters, I would love to SEE YOU at our next Quadrennial Assembly, June 25-29, in Atlanta, GA. Save the date. It will be a time for you for spiritual growth and great worship! It will be a time to be refreshed and empowered to do ministry every day, everywhere. Espero verte (Hope to see you), Arlene

Quadrennial Assembly June 25 – 29, 2014 ta, GA Atlanta Marriott Marquis, Atlan

les Women’s Event Quadrennial Assembly is a Discip d the world through which lifts up women from aroun education. It is fellowship, worship, service, and les Women’s sponsored by International Discip isciples of Christ). Ministries - Christian Church (D

Theme:

I See You

ace, Rev. Dr. Sharon Watkins I see you through the Eyes of Gr mpassion, Rev. Dr. Nohemi Pagan I see you through the Voice of Co Rev. April Lawton I see you with Hands of Justice, . Penny Ziemer I see you with a Heart of Joy, Rev Hale I see you Whole, Rev. Dr. Cynthia

S P E A K E R S

June 25 June 26 June 27 June 28 June 29

R E G I S T R A T I O N

C O S T

do, FL 2013 General Assembly in Orlan Registration will kick off at the site April 1- June 9, 2014: $400 July 13 -17, 2013: $365 online or on On-site registration: $425 July 18 - Dec. 31, 2013: $375 One-day registration: $130 Jan. 1- March 31, 2014: $380

w.quadrennial.org or ww sit vi n, io at rm fo in e or m For email qa@dhm.disciples.org

Calendar of 2013 Events NEBRASKA CONFERENCE: On-going activity/event: Our Women's Fellowship meets: First Thursday of each month; 2:00 - 4:00, at Zion UCC, 302 Carol Street, Talmage, NE 68448. Phone: (402) 264-2965. First Central Congregational UCC, 421 South 36th Street; Omaha, NE 68131 402-345-1533; www.firstcentral.org

PACIFIC NORTHWEST CONFERENCE Northwest Regional Women’s Retreat; Kah‐Nee‐Ta Resort, Warm Springs, OR; November 1‐3, 2013; Website: http://nrwr.wordpress.com Facebook: Northwest Regional Women’s Retreat (see the Event) Registration Website: nrwr2013.eventbrite.com Registrar’s Email: nrwrregistrar@gmail.com; Susan Stafford, Registrar, 541‐554‐8501

Nov., date and time TBA; activity: Attend a play; host/planner, Wendy Monbouquette Dec. 10, 7 p.m.; activity: Christmas Party; host/planner, Susan Fortina's, 3504 Woolworth Ave. Jan. 10-12; activity: Women's retreat in Schuyler; host, Sara Sharpe Feb. 11, 7 p.m.; activity: Valentine cookies @ church; host/planner, Deb Kirwan Mar. 11, 7 p.m.; activity: Hymn sing @ Karen Garver’s, 5009 Nicholas; host/planner, Edie Godfrey Apr. 8, 7 p.m.; activity: Plan for plant sale @ church; host/planner, Peg Peterson, Cherie Ferber, and Elizabeth Wearin Women's Fellowship; violets@megavision.com, Federated Church; P.O. Box 564, Columbus, NE 68602; 402-564-2812; Rev. Dr. Annika Lister Stroope, revannikastroope@federatedcolumbus.org.

November 2, 2013

November 2, 2013: Women's Fellowship Meeting, program is "Memory Talk" November 21, 2013: Cookies 'N More (a fundraiser)December 4, 2013: Women's Fellowship Meeting, Consonnaires will sing January 25, 2014: Trip to St Cecilia's Flower Show in Omaha. Husbands and women from other churches are invited to go with us. The fourth Wednesday of each month we assist with Bingo at a nursing home. We coordinate delivery of Meals on Wheels one week each month.There are about 5-6 congregations, mainly ELCA and UCC who participate as well as some others from our local non-denominational Christian church. Jan 6, 2014, Epiphany Tea; Clay Center UCC, 220 S. Alexander Ave., Clay Center NE, 68933; contact person Pastor Cathy Ann Colson, (402) 762-3614

DO YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING WITH US! Alpaca clothing, accessories for the home and gifts. Fair trade items made in Peru and distributed by Alpacas of the Covenant, Inc./ The Rev. Kimberly Buechner Fouse. www.allthingsalpacaonline.com 38

CommonLot

ILLINOIS CONFERENCE In the Company of Women: “Sisters, Saints and Sinners,” November 2, 2013, United Protestant Church, 54 S. Whitney, Grayslake, IL 60030. Contact Rev. Merlyn Lawrence at merlynlawrence@prodigy.net Rev. Merlyn Lawrence, United Protestant Church, 54 S. Whitney, Grayslake, IL 60030 Or register via email at merlynlawrence@prodigy.net Merlyn can be reached at (630) 890-6814 (cell) or at (847) 223 3181 ext. 16.

LET YOUR YOUR VOICE VOICE

BE HEARD:

THE SIX NEW ENGLAND CONFERENCES

March 28-30, 2014 The UCC New England Women’s Celebration IX will be held March 28-30, 2014 in Portland, Maine. Registration is open at www.uccwomenscelebration.org/ This is a beautiful collaboration of UCC women from the New England region. A Spirit-filled and inspiring event not to be missed! NEW YORK CONFERENCE The UCCNY Women gather each spring for a three-day event of renewal and learning, and we encourage women all year long to collect “Pennies for People” from which we give donations to nominated ministries in each of the associations which contributed. The 2014 event will be May 1, 2 and 3, (Thurs 4 p.m. to Sat noon) at the Watson Homestead Conference Center, Painted Post, NY, near Corning. We make a special effort to invite Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) women to join us, as there are a number of CC/DC churches in NY. Open to women from any conference. Starting Jan. 1 will be possible to sign up through the NY Conference web site, uccny.org. PENN CENTRAL CONFERENCE

November 22-24 Women’s Retreat “The Chocolate Boutique”

A whole weekend of chocolate bliss! Join us for a weekend of relaxation, laughter, and reflection as you grow in friendship with God and other women of the conference. Cost for the weekend is $100 which includes 2 nights lodging in Michaux Lodge, 5 meals and chocolate galore! Space is limited so sign up today! Deadline is November 12. For more information, please contact Brenda Waleff, Minister of Communications, 717-652-1560 RHODE ISLAND CONFERENCE

March, 2014 TBA Women’s Retreat “The Chocolate Boutique”

The Women of the RI Conference UCC Committee plan to host their biannual breakfast to honor lay men in the Conference in March, 2014, date to be announced. Please contact the Rhode Island Conference at (401) 724-7700, Rev. Beverly Edwards (Acting); bedwards@ricucc.org; 8 Summer Street; Pawtucket, RI 02860

Net

BECOME A UCC ADVOCATE! ucc.org/justice/join-the-network uucc.or cc.orgg/ju cc.or /jusstice/j tice/joioioin-the-n n-the-networ workk Justice and Witness Ministries

Sarah Laughs

A Church to Dye For? Shawnthea Monroe “The peace of Christ be with you,” I said, extending my hand to “Helen,” who was seated in the front pew. She pulled me close and said, “You’ve got to dye your hair again. It looks awful.” I stopped dyeing my hair by accident in the summer of 2011. One missed salon appointment followed by a busy summer, and suddenly I found myself in the fall with two-inch silver roots and a patch of white over the left temple. So I let it go. This was not meant as some grand cultural commentary or act of feminist rebellion. I just wanted to see my true colors. At first, no one noticed the change. Then, as the gray peeked out, the comments began. “Who is your stylist?” “Your hair sure is getting long!” Months passed. As my hair grew grayer, the critics grew bolder. Comments were made in the hallway, even in the midst of worship. Finally, a woman cornered me in the sacristy: “You are a wonderful preacher, a great mother and wife. You know I love you, but…you must do something about your hair!” And with that, she thrust a box of Nice ‘n Easy (chestnut brown) into my hands. I am not particularly thin-skinned. Like the old nursery rhyme, words don’t tend to hurt me. But the comments made me second-guess myself. Why was I doing this? Did I really intend to go gray, or was I just letting myself go? That’s when I decided: gray it is. Church gives us a gift. And it’s not always Nice ‘n Easy. Jesus gives us people who love us enough to ask awkward questions and offer candid opinions. Those questions allow our true colors to peek through.

Rev. Shawnthea Monroe is the Senior Minister of Plymouth Church UCC, Shaker Heights, Ohio. She is the co-author of Living Christianity: A Pastoral Theology for Today (Fortress 2009) and when she’s not preaching, teaching, or parenting, she is in the garden.

CommonLot

CommonLot United Church of Christ 700 Prospect Avenue E Cleveland, Ohio 44115-1100

UNITED CHURCH OF CHRIST

Church Building & Loan Fund E S TA B L I S H E D

God is Still... Building, (and we’re here to help).

1 8 5 3

“I thank God for the Church Building & Loan Fund of the United Church of Christ, for being the hand and wealth of God in the life and mission of Covenant UCC.” The Rev. Ozzie Smith Jr., senior pastor, Covenant UCC, South Holland, Il.

Capital Campaign Services FA I T H

B A S E D . S P I R I T F I L L E D . L AY L E D .

“Through the excellent questions from our Capital Campaign Services representative and the candid responses of church members, we learned not only about our readiness for a capital campaign, but much helpful feedback about the church and ways to move forward with plans, hopes, and dreams in a manageble way.” The Rev. Dr. Donald Schmidt, pastor, Admiral Congregational UCC, Seattle, WA.

UCC CHURCH BUILDING & LOAN FUND

Capital Campaign Services visit us online: www.cblf.org or toll free 866.822.8224 ext.3834