The University Paper Bristol - October 2014 by The University Paper

BRISTOL

A COPY OF DESTINY & A PS4:

OCTOBER 2014

FRESHERS EDITION THE BEST OF FRESHERS WEEK

PAGE 03

FIND OUT HOW ON PAGE 36

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR NEW CITY

PAGES 03, 08-09, & 10-11

WELCOME to the best three years of your life MICHAEL O’CONNELL-DAVIDSON

A big welcome to the 12,000 jammy freshers that have just arrived in Bristol! Brizzle is the biggest city in the South West of England and a brilliant, dynamic and overall mint place to spend the best three years of your life! Welcome to the city, we hope you have a gert lush time! If you’re just arriving, then we’d also like to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves at the University Paper. We’re a different student kind of publication printing in 16 cities across the country, ranging all the way from Swansea to Sheffield -and beyond. Over the next academic year, we’ll be bringing you the best local news and entertainment Cardiff has to offer coupled with exclusive national content. To celebrate, we’re running a tongue-in-cheek analysis of the student cities we serve. Each has a population that’s as unique as its location, but how distinct are we talking? Here are some facts -- good and bad -- about each. Given that it’s the reason you’re here, the academic side of things is the most obvious starting point. Warwick University has never been ranked outside of the Top 10 UK major university rankings, and is the only university aside Oxford and Cambridge to have achieved this. However, the University of Edinburgh is the highest ranked University Paper university in the world, coming in at a hugely impressive number 17. Estimates suggest there are

over 16,000 institutions that provide higher education in the world, so if you’re an Edinburgh student, you can feel very smug indeed. Edinburgh also has the highest amount of money spent per student -- but it’s Glasgow that has the most satisfied students according to the National Student Survey, with 91% responding positively this year. A slightly dubious honour falls on the city of Glasgow, where the women of the city buy more fake tan than anybody else in the UK. Tesco also reported that Glasgow leads the way when it comes to buying extra-large condoms, in a league table that also included Manchester and Bristol. Admirably, the academic community in Bristol set themselves apart when the University of Bristol became the first university to admit male and female students onto taught degrees as equals. 15% of Sheffield Students are virgins, so if you’re a reader from Sheffield and you’ve yet to have experience your first time, you can take solace in the fact you’re not alone (or in Glasgow). Our most promiscuous city is Liverpool, where students at Liverpool Hope have had on average 6 partners since starting university in a similar survey. Depending on your perspective, this may be a point of shame or pride. I’ll leave it to you to pass

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE AT UNIVERSITY

DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDITS: SWNS.COM

UNIVERSITY IS A TIME for many things but getting stuck in a bin shouldn’t be one of them! Independence, responsibility and of course embarrassment are three buzz words that go hand in hand with one of the biggest steps in your life. The step provides the platform to produce the stories that will stick with, or in this case haunt, you forever. Some

will shed in you in a good light, for instance showing independence by looking after yourself in what is likely your first time away from home. Other stories fall on the other side and cause embarrassment, something this Manchester student knows a lot about. Robin Niven is the name currently on everyone’s lips and like most embarrassing stories that happen during

university years, he was on his way back from a night out when the incident occurred. Yes, that’s right; he managed to get himself stuck in a bin and luckily for us all, his friends were there to record it. Many students will be able to tell you of countless stupid things they have done following a night out. Whether that be forgetting where you live when ordering a taxi (a common one)

W W W.UNIPA PE R . CO.UK

or getting on the wrong side of a drinking game dare. However, very few, if any, will end up with the story concluding in someone being stuck in a bin. And even fewer will involve firemen. Oh yes he really was that stuck. Robin had to be rescued by three fire fighters before his ordeal was finally over.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

FRESHERS break the ice WITH A

FRESHERS DIVE INTO A

FREE

free classic burger

DOUBLE VODKA AND RED BULL

*** EXPIRES: 06/10/14

1SCR1338 Scream Freshers DVRB Voucher English / Personalised.indd 1

EXPIRES: 06/10/14

17/07/2014 1SCR1339 15:29 Scream Freshers Free Burger Vouchers English / Personalised.indd 1

FRESHERS BREAK THE ICE WITH A

FREE PINT OF CARLING

FREE COCKTAIL *

***

EXPIRES: 06/10/14

CUT OUT

1SCR1340 Scream Freshers Free Cocktail Voucher English/ Personalised.indd 1

10/07/2014 15:49

10/07/2014 1SCR1341 15:50 Scream Freshers Free Pint Voucher English / Personalised.indd 1

VO U C H E R S

(one voucher per person)

Over-18s only. Offer expires 30/11/14. Voucher must be handed in at time of ordering; may be used only once; has no cash value; is not for sale/resale; no photocopies accepted; cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Map not to scale. Management reserves the right to refuse custom and/or withdraw/change offers (without notice), at any time. See main menu for details. Promoter: Stonegate Pub Company, Porter Tun House, 500 Capability Green, Luton, LU1 3LS

10/07/2014 15:51

FRESHERS GUIDE

SPECIAL

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

UNSPOKEN RULES OF UNIVERSITY LUCY ROGERS

MAKING THE MOST OUT OF FIRST YEAR IMOGEN JUDD

PHOTO CREDIT: IMOGEN JUDD

PHOTO CREDIT: LUCY ROGERS

I ABSOLUTELY fell in love with this magnificent city one year into my degree, but I wouldn’t love it anywhere near as much if I hadn’t put on my metaphorical pith helmet and gone out exploring. Obviously there’s plenty of clubbing and general boozing to be done, but I have compiled a shortlist of some of my favourite alternatives to help you make the most of your university city! Eat until you can eat no more. Bristol is full of fabulous places to eat and drink even on a student budget. I’m not talking TGI’s and Starbucks, but independent coffee shops like The Workhouse THE FREEDOM bestowed upon you as you arrive at university for the first time seems to come without rules. Your only boundaries are the capacity of your liver, your body’s need for sleep, and the limit of your interest-free overdraft. But by the time Fresher’s Week draws to a close, before you can even say “Fresher’s flu”, the unspoken rules of your university will have emerged. Many people have heard the unspoken rule that you are suddenly categorised as either a northerner or a southener on entrance to university (and that a year of living together still will not separate you from the associations that come with this label). Similarly, after nineteen years of blissful ignorance, you are suddenly informed that you have an accent that is mercilessly ridiculed throughout the year. These unspoken rules apply nationally, displayed in the form of various GIFs over social media, as a result of thousands of students mixing from all over the country. There are some ‘rules’, however, that are specific to your locale. It seems apt that the first unspoken rule of Bristol student life is the classic student night out. As you drunkenly orientate yourself between passed out eighteen-year-olds and predatory

fresher reps, one rule will become clear. Lounge is the only way to truly do a Bristol student night. Yes, it is reminiscent of school discos circa 2001, but the heady mix of nostalgia, ‘Stacey’s Mom’ and Toffee Vodka never felt so good. Follow this up with a ‘Jason Donervan’ kebab and your night is complete. Of course, for the price of £36,000 we expect that some learning will take place during our time at Bristol. This is when the ASS comes into play. Aside from your ideas on sexual exploration at university this is the Arts and Social Sciences library and is primarily useful as an opportunity for innuendos in your first year. When a student’s knowledge of a city rarely goes beyond the supermarket, club and university, it probably isn’t surprising that you won’t hear many ‘gert lush’ accents around ‘my babber, mind’. Of course, this doesn’t stop you from trying to imitate the local accent yourself - and failing. The unspoken rule of going to university in Bristol is most students you meet sound like the Youtube sensation ‘Gap Yah’ guy (Google it), and it’s as if you’ve stumbled on a forgotten corner of the South East in the middle of Brizzle.

Café on Perry Road and The Thali Café on Regent’s Street. Visit Clifton Downs. Sunny day, picnic, sorted. Downsize. Pryzm = getting sweaty with a thousand other freshers off their nut on Basics vodka. Go to Mr Wolf’s on St Stephen’s Street. Tiny, but great! Visit Bristol Zoo. They have gorillas… above your head! Central Library. I had to give you at least one piece of remotely useful advice, didn’t I? Just off College Green, the library is a beautiful place to study. You may scoff now, but you’ll thank me come May.

Moving in ice breakers OLIVIA PETTER

PHOTO CREDIT: OLIVIA PETTER

SO… GOT ANY PETS? Moving in with a bunch of strangers can be a little awkward and Freshers’ isn’t always the easiest week to make friends for life. Learning that your housemate once fantasised about his English teacher in a round of ‘Never Have I Ever’ will only bring you so much closer. So, here are a few other things you could try: Cook up a storm. The good

0 50ff

news is that you will definitely have at least one thing in common with your new friends - food. Everyone loves a home cooked meal (even students tire of Dominoes), so channel Nigella and whip up a feast for your new friends. Throw a party. Having a few people round to your flat is a great way for you to meet each other’s friends and planning the soirée

itself will be a fun, laid-back way to get to know your fellow flatmates. Paint the town red… together. Plan to go out somewhere as a group - the thought of going out alone with your flatmates may sound a little daunting at first, but by getting ready, then drinking and eventually dancing together you will get to know each other sooner than you think.

FRESHERS GUIDE

SPECIAL

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Fresher’s Guide to Bristol

PAIGE WILLIAMS

PHOTO CREDIT: SOPHIE BEAUMONT

Welcome to the gert lush city of Brizzle! Here are some of the places in the city that will ensure you’ll have a mint time, me lovers! CLUBS LIZARD LOUNGE Getting slizzard at Lizard is a weekly (if not twice weekly) event. This club on the Triangle is great for cheesy music and cheap booze but please take our advice when we tell you DO NOT GO SOBER. THEKLA It’s a club on a boat - what more do you want? Pressure on Thursday is ideal for you indie kids (and for 2 for 1 drink deals) whilst Pop Confessional on Saturday is more for those who can shamelessly dance to George Michael.

PUBS THE WHITE BEAR Located on St Michael’s Hill, The White Bear is a cosy, proper English pub (N.B. they don’t accept card so be sure to bring cash!) Bristol’s performing societies also put on biweekly shows in The Wardrobe Theatre above the pub.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO BECOMING A BNOC

THE HOBGOBLIN Situated on Gloucester Road, The Hobgoblin is a popular student hub. Be sure to try their diry, dirty fries and check out their pub quiz which is on every Sunday.

SORCHA BRADLEY

RESTAURANTS JASON DONERVAN Technically it’s not a restaurant, but it is a brilliantly named kebab van on the Triangle that will become a standard part of your night out. AL BAB MANSOUR A reasonably priced, friendly Moroccan restaurant located in St Nick’s Market. A quirky eatery off the beaten track with generous portions. Highly recommended. THE BURGER JOINT Located on Whiteladies Road, The Burger Joint probably sales the best burgers in Bristol. And what’s better? Monday to Thursday students get 10% off! Time to put new NUS card to use!

ENTERTAINMENT VENUES THE FLEECE For those who know Jason Aalon Butler and Mikey Chapman. The Fleece on St Thomas Street is a great venue if you’re a fan of alternative music and don’t mind your Vans sticking to the floor. THE O2 ACADEMY This venue on Frogmore Street (by The Hachet) is a lot more mainstream than The Fleece. It plays hosts to artists who aren’t quite big enough to skip Bristol and play at Cardiff’s Motorpoint Arena yet, with the likes of George Ezra and Clean Bandit playing there in the coming months.

Reach the dizzying heights of appearing on reality television before you arrive. However, try not to be seen googling yourself in the ASS library. Stock up on your casual acquaintances. Don’t get too personal though, the goal here is to get at least 250 “HB X” on your Facebook wall come your birthday, so you don’t have any time for hanging around. Just long enough for a cheeky friend request. Come from North London. The unwritten 4th law of motion is actually “no matter where you are in the world, you will meet someone you know from North London.” The struggle is real. Remember that the ASS Library is not a place of learning, it is a fashion show. Darling, no one is actually studying in there. They’re all silently judging you for wearing Adidas instead of New Balance (didn’t you get

the memo..?), and babe, we’ve moved on from scrunchies now, please - dear god... There’s extra points for making a recognisable appearance in Spotted. Never ever miss a Thursday Pam Pam. Sacrifice that Friday 9am. One night away and your fledgling socialite career could disintegrate before your very eyes. It’s social suicide. Let everyone know that you were once invited to be on Made in Chelsea. Add to the effect by repeatedly telling everyone that you just love to hang out at ‘Bargs. Practically your second home (on the King’s Road). Keep the fact you went to Eton/ Harrow a deadly secret. NO ONE MUST KNOW. Oh wait, no one cares. In fact, keep the fact you went to a state school a deadly secret too. We’re all poshos here, my friend. Oh, wait... yep, can confirm - no one cares. It was probably a grammar anyway.

Free wifi in-store Top-notch coffee and study areas available, come in and say hi today! Costa, 123-125 Whiteladies Road, Clifton, Bristol, Avon BS8 2PL • Costa, 14 Gloucester Road, Bishopston, Bristol, Avon BS7 8AE

Source: In independent surveys of the British coffee shop market published in December 2010, December 2011, December 2012 and December 2013 by Allegra Strategies, Costa was voted Britain’s favourite coffee shop brand. For more information please visit www.costa.co.uk

Br So

JESSICA BOTT

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Bristol’s Oddest Societies JESSICA BOTT

PHOTO CREDIT: JESSICA BOTT

At the start of the new year there‘s always a lot to think about and which society to join is one of them. When looking at the societies you’ll see the normal ones such as the Anime society at UWE. But there are some more unique options out there in Bristol, and here is the lowdown on some of them. BRISTOL UNIVERSITY HOT AIR BALLOONING SOCIETY (BUHABS) This society allows you to fly in the club’s own famous red balloon at the weekends and attend regular ballooning events throughout the year, such as the Bristol Balloon Fiesta in August.

UWE ASSASSINS’ GUILD The Guild run mock-assassination games using anything from nerf guns to soft toys. When you join you will get targets to eliminate. Be warned, you will also be a target. The society also plays hands-on games off-campus in local forests such as capture the flag. UWE BAR SCHOOL Most students are used to buying drinks from a bar, but how about serving them? The Bar School will teach you about quality spirits, cocktails and premium alcohol and some sessions include bar skills. UoB also have similar options of the Bar and Cocktail societies.

AND IN LOCAL NEWS:

Rising student numbers PAIGE WILLIAMS

PHOTO CREDIT: PAIGE WILLIAMS

In the past few years, applications to study at both the University of Bristol and the University of the West of England have risen rapidly. Consequently, this has created more demand for student accommodation in the city. Peter Ellis, who works for the letting agency Accommodation Unlimited, stated that he received five times more calls than usual for housing in Bristol since A-Level results were released and university places were confirmed: “I had more than forty calls for a room in a student house in Fishponds in less than twenty-four hours. Some parents have cried down the phone, fearing they won’t find somewhere for their children to live for their first time away from home.” Property experts have commented that this sky-high demand for student housing is having a major impact on Bristol’s city centre. Despite hundreds of thousands of square feet of unused office space in the city, the rising student population has resulted in a shortage of property available in the area. UWE have stated that they have witnessed a rise in applications for accommodation compared with last year, but a spokeswoman for the university said: “The university has new student accommodation opening on Frenchay Campus this autumn, and will be welcoming 150 additional students who will be moving into the new Wallscourt Park residences. Next year we have plans for a further 300 rooms when Wallscourt Park residences are completed.” Whilst UWE are able to expand their accommodation in the suburbs of Bristol, where the majority of their campuses are located, University of Bristol students are concerned about the future. A second-year English student told us: “I’m worried that student accommodation is going to get smaller but more expensive. Living in Clifton or Redland is already pricey enough without the strain of increasing student numbers.”

WE’RE THE BIGGEST LUCY ROGERS

IF YOU’VE BEEN FEELING LIGHT on cash and heavy on hangovers lately, a recent study shows that you’re not alone. It has been revealed that Bristol students spend more money on alcohol every year than any other UK university city. This comes from the latest Student Living Index, compiled by Natwest, published just before the infamously vodka-fuelled Fresher’s Week began. Over two thousand students contributed to the survey that listed Bristol students as being the fifth worst undergraduates in the country at managing their dosh. Whilst this suggests that the average Bristol scholar is not likely to become the next Chancellor of the Exchequer, the more pressing matter is their £13 weekly booze shop. This is well above the national average of £9.80 a week. The University of Bristol may be infamous for housing many Oxbridge rejects, but our Cambridge rivals – revealed to spend the least on alcohol, but the most on eating out – tellingly spend only half as much as us on alcohol a week. With the Freshers’ Week period well underway, the concern over students spending their entire loan on getting sloshed is more prevalent than ever. The revelation of Bristol’s high rate of expenditure on drink recalls comments from former University of Bristol Student President, Rob Griffiths, in his article questioning Freshers’ drinking culture. In The Telegraph last year, he described how excessive student drinking is a national problem, and that “the conventional freshers’ expectation… is now counterproductive to the basic requirements of settling into a new environment.” With one survey into student drinking declaring that undergrads nationally spend 19 hours a week drinking (amounting to a whopping total of 93 days over a three year course!), it seems there is a worrying truth in students excessive alcohol consumption. But the jury is still out as to whether Bristol students are actually the least sober undergrads in the country. The Good Pub Guide states that the South of the country pays 65p more than the North for a pint (almost enough to buy another Jägerbomb in Po Na Na!). This inconsistency in pricing could invalidate the findings that are based only on monetary value. Moreover, a recent study deemed Bristol to be one of the wealthiest university cities with 24% of University of Bristol students forgoing any maintenance loan. This could mean that students are simply choosing quality over quantity. Grey Goose, anyone?

COMMENT FRESHERS

GUIDE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

SPECIAL

We confront the issues that matter to you, right here on campus. Have an opinion? Contact us at: editor@unipaper.co.uk to have your say

THE BIG QUESTION

Alcohol-Free Freshers Week: Is it doable? ADAM STEAD

PHOTO CREDIT: ADAM STEAD

If you take a look at your hall’s notice board, it will most likely be plastered with awful, gaudy advertisements from a selection of homogenous club nights in Bristol ready to welcome in new freshers. But if you reach through the sunglasses, Instagram photos, hashtags, right through to the cork board that has been plastered over, you may be able to pull out a small note. The note will be written in comic sans, or it will be hand-written, and it will be snidely laughed

at by most of your peers. It will read: Freshers’ Week: Non-alcoholic Event. Yes, they do exist. If you do not want to drink, for whatever your reason, there are walks, film showings, even parties, waiting for you, hiding in the corners of the campus just beyond the blare of the drinking and avarice indulged in by the rest of the world. A Freshers’ Week without alcohol (and without drugs) is possible, but even if you don’t wake up with a hangover you will still

be kept up all night by your boozing neighbours, so you will at least have to wake up tired. You don’t have to down it, fresher!

Pushy promoters need to back off MEGAN DAVIES

UNIVERSITIES ARE a paradise for club promoters; they’re full of young people who like to go out. Social media is fast becoming the world’s favourite method of advertising and the club promoter, of course, never misses a trick. We’ve all been there: you log into Facebook and, pathetic as it may be, get a little excited when you see that you’ve got six notifications. Pictures from last night? A friend request from that elusive but oh-so-cool guy in the flat above? Forget it. All six are merely shouty invitations to club nights, which, if you can concentrate on the CAPITAL LETTERS promise £1 Jagerbombs and free entry (there’ll be a catch). However, their methods can also be a little sinister. If you are staying in halls, you will soon notice that your bin is quickly filling up with club night leaflets which you unconsciously shred up and dispose of. It won’t be until

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you actually see one of these promoters sticking them through doors that you get a little worried. Katy, who lived in Bristol’s Badock Hall last year began to feel intimidated: “I used to see [promoters] around halls; I didn’t recognise any of them. I started to wonder whether they were even students at all”. Before you get too worried, chances are that these pests are indeed your fellow students. The flexible hours, minimum effort and pocket money (which, amusingly, will probably get spent in the terrible club they promote) is a tempting little earner. They’re all around you. I’d give you some advice on how to avoid them but it’d be pointless because one day, when you’ve slipped into your overdraft, you too will find yourself uttering those ominous words to the people of Bristol, who desperately try to dodge your path – “free entry! £1 Jagerbombs!”

SPECIAL

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Indepth, Insightful, & uncompromising: Interviews with BITE

TO BE FRANK The phrase ‘hardest-working man in show business’ is overused. And more than that, it’s an impossible thing to measure. But, if there was a league table, you can bet Frank Turner would be up there. The folk-punk singer has been touring in one shape or another for the past 16 years, whether as part of his short-lived “terrible” school band Kneejerk, the much-missed post-punk band Million Dead or as a solo artist. He’s heading out on the road again in September, his second UK tour this year. This time, however, there are a few differences. Firstly, the venues Turner and his band, The Sleeping Souls, are performing in are off the beaten path. It’s a nod to the fact Turner, after being born in Bahrain, grew up close to Winchester in the Hampshire village of Meonstoke, and bands very rarely, if ever, came to play nearby. “It’s also a nod of respect to people who like my music,” he says. “I am aware not everyone lives in London, Glasgow, Manchester and Birmingham. And people are so entitled these days. As soon as we announced these gigs, people in the cities were saying, ‘There’s nowhere near me’, so I say ‘Yes there is, there’s this place, which is 15 minutes on the train’. Those guys in the sticks have to travel all the time. “Plus, as well as keeping fans on their toes, it’s more interesting for me and my crew to go to new places, too.” The other reason Turner’s forthcoming run of shows will be different is that rather than promoting an album - his fifth album Tape Deck Heartcame out last year - he and the band are going to be playing all-new songs in preparation for recording their sixth. “We’re going into the studio in October,” he explains. “I’ve long had the feeling I’m yet to make a record that captures what we sound like live. You can think about methodology and studio craft all you want, but why not just go into the studio on the back of a tour when we’re sounding great? “And I’ve got way too many songs for an album - 19 at last count - so we’re going to play lots of them, and we will work out what to put on the record from that. Not that I’m going to be saying, ‘That went down well, let’s put it on the record’, but I’ll get a good idea from crowd reaction and from playing the songs each night.” His next album, he expects, will be released at the end of February, and will feature one song called Love Forty Down, a metaphor for being in your Thirties and being “rubbish at relationships”, inspired by hearing some friends playing table tennis one night. Another is called Get Better, which shares a title with a song by his friends Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. “I rang Pip to ask if it was OK to share the title and not only did he say yes, but he offered to remix the song for us as well.” There’s not much sign of this workload stopping. Despite 2014 seeing him play all over the world, Turner’s team are currently booking shows, provisionally at least, for 2016. “I live a life that revolves around album cycles, and those shows are definitely written in pencil rather than pen, but yeah, it’s all being planned.

“It’s more interesting for me and my crew to go to new places, too.”

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” After a summer of playing festivals all over Europe, he’s particularly excited to get back to playing his own shows, while this summer marked the point where he’d been touring for more than half his life. “I did my first tour in 1998, which was 16 years ago, and now I’m 32, so yeah, half my life on the road. I think we celebrated with another gig, which seemed about right.” Turner was born in Muharraq in Bahrain. His father was a banker and was on a posting to the Middle East in the early Eighties, and Turner lived there for the first six months of his life. “The main impact that it has on my life is that the place of birth on my passport is Muharraq. Try getting into the US with Muharraq written on your passport,” he says. His grandfather, Sir Mark Turner, was once chairman of high street chain BHS, while his father, Roger, worked in investment banking, and his mum Jane is a primary school headteacher. The life of a travelling folk singer perhaps seems unlikely for a former Eton pupil (Turner studied alongside Prince William at the elite school), and much has been made in the past of his background and political beliefs. Turner describes himself as a “classic liberal” in line with many modern libertarians, and has beliefs based on “democracy, individuality, equality of opportunity, distrust of power and, above all else, freedom, including economic freedom”. He has ‘Freeborn’ tattooed on his knuckles, as well as the ama-gi Sumerian cuneiform on his arm, the first written reference to the word ‘Freedom’ found in southern Mesopotamia, now modern Iraq, although as he gets older, he says he’s less inclined to share his politics at all. For now, at least, he’s concerning himself with his music - “The only thing I’m really interested in” - and preparations for album six. “I have a title but I can’t tell you what it is,” he says, though he will reveal it’ll be an upbeat collection, after the break-up confessional of Tape Deck Heart. “I want it to be shorter, too. We did a deluxe album for the last one, which seems confused to me in retrospect,” Turner adds. “I want the next one to be a 12-track album - simple and direct.”

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

WHAT’S ON

The BEST night’s this Fresher’s week & throughout the month ● ●

THIS MONTH MONDAY 15TH SEPTEMBER

● Where’s Wally vs. Smurfs, Pryzm @BED, BUNKER ● £1.50 a pint, @ATHE ANCHOR ● House Party, @ MBARGO ● Cat Face, @THE BIG CHILL

TUESDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER ● Contrast, @LAKOTA ●

WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER

Shine, @PRYZM ● Pirate Party, @THEKLA ● Quiz Night, @THE WHITE HARTE Jazz Funk Soul, @THE BIG CHILL

● Killa Disko, @SYNDICATE ● Jacked, @THE WHITE HARTE ● We Love Wednesdays, @THE BIG CHILL ● Varsity, @PAM PAM ● Daft Funk, @MBARGO

FRIDAY 10TH OCTOBER

● Come Get Some, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Eden, @ SYNDICATE ● Rumble in the Jungle 2, @LAKOTA ● Ramshackle, @O2 ACADEMY SATURDAY 11TH OCTOBER

TUESDAY 16TH SEPTEMBER

● Wide Eyes with Boddika, @LAKOTA● Quiz Night, @ THE WHITE HARTE● UWE Freshers’ 2014 @URBZ AND SPICE ● PJ Party, @ SYNDICATE ● The Rub, @ MBARGO ● Switch, @PAM PAM WEDNESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER ● Club Noche, @UWE

FRENCHAY CAMPUS ● We Love Wednesdays, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Jacked, @THE WHITE HARTE ● UWE Welcome Party, @ SYNDICATE ● Varsity, @PAM PAM

WEDNESDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER

● Salsa Night, @ANSON ROOMS ● Compete - Sports Night, @BUNKER ● We Love Wednesdays, @THE BIG CHILL ● Mistajam at Killa Disko, @SYNDICATE ● Jacked, @THE WHITE HARTE THURSDAY 25TH SEPTEMBER

● Superkitchen, @LAKOTA ● Prison Break, @ O2 ACADEMY ● Pressure, @ THEKLA ● QUIDS!, @THE WHITE HARTE ● Scribble & Scratch 1st Birthday, @THE BIG CHILL FRIDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER

THURSDAY 18TH SEPTEMBER

● Lawless, @O2 ACADEMY ● Pressure, @ THEKLA ● Oh Hello, @PRYZM ● QUIDS!, @ THE WHITE HARTE ● Win Win, @THE BIG CHILL FRIDAY 19TH SEPTEMBER ● Lock and Key Party, @

BUNKER ● Students and Freshers Free Party, @ MOTION ● Eden, @ SYNDICATE ● Asian Hawk, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Festival of Colour, @LAKOTA SATURDAY 20TH SEPTEMBER ● Banjax, @LAKOTA ● UWE

Freshers Closing Party, @ UWE FRENCHAY CAMPUS ● Funky Town Roller Disco, @ ANSON ROOMS ● History of… R&B, @THE BIG CHILL ● Ministry of Sound, @ SYNDICATE SUNDAY 21ST SEPTEMBER ● Snap!, @BUNKER ● Pub Quiz, @THE ANCHOR ● Jonny Trunk, @THE BIG

CHILL ● The Soul Strutters, @ MBARGO ● Pub Quiz, @ THE HOBGOBLIN MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER ● Comedy Night, @ANSON ROOMS ● Bed, @BUNKER ● £1.50 a pint, @THE ANCHOR ● Open til Late, @

● Moda Black, @LAKOTA ● Studio, @BUNKER ● 51°27°, @THEKLA ● Eden, @ SYNDICATE ● Bedmo Disco #006 Alexander Nut, @THE BIG CHILL SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER

● Tribe of Frog, 14th Birthday, @LAKOTA ● Tokyo Dub, @EASTVILLE PARK ● UBU Freshers - Rio Carnival, @MOTION ● Hordor at Project, @SYNDICATE ● 45 Live Bristol DJ Yoda & Host Boca 45, @THE BIG CHILL

● Pressure, @THEKLA ● QUIDS!, @THE WHITE HARTE ● Slam on the Breaks, @MBARGO ● Recess, @BUNKER ● Prohibition, @PAM PAM

● Project,@ SYNDICATE ● Pop Confessional, @THEKLA ● Takeover Saturdays, @ PRYZM ● Higher Ground, @MBARGO ● Inmotion: Red Bull Culture Clash, @ MOTION

FRIDAY 3RD OCTOBER

SUNDAY 12TH OCTOBER

THURSDAY 2ND OCTOBER

● Ravers Guide to the Galaxy, @LAKOTA ● Movement, @THEKLA ● Hospitality, @MOTION ● Ramshackle, @O2 ACADEMY ● Eden, @ SYNDICATE SATURDAY 4TH OCTOBER

● In:Motion 2014 Opening Party, @MOTION ● Project, @SYNDICATE ● Open til Late, @BE AT ONE ● Encore, @BUNKER ● Pop Confessional, @THEKLA SUNDAY 5TH OCTOBER

● Pub Quiz, @THE ANCHOR ● The Soul Strutters, @ MBARGO ● Pub Quiz, @THE HOBGOBLIN

MONDAY 6TH OCTOBER

● Bed, @BUNKER ● £1.50 a pint, @THE ANCHOR ● Open til late, @BE AT ONE ● House Party, @MBARGO ● Get Up, @PAM PAM

SUNDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER

● Pub Quiz, @ANCHOR ● Female DJ’s London Showcase, @THE BIG CHILL ● Pub Quiz, @THE HOBGOBLIN ● The Soul Strutters, @MBARGO

TUESDAY 7TH OCTOBER

● Quiz night, @THE WHITE HARTE ● Jazz Funk Soul, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Switch, @PAM PAM ● The Rub, @ MBARGO

● Pub Quiz, @THE ANCHOR ● The Soul Strutters, @ MBARGO ● Pub Quiz, @ HOBGOBLIN

TUESDAY 21ST OCTOBER

● Quiz night, @THE WHITE HARTE ● Jazz Funk Soul, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Switch, @PAM PAM ● The Rub, @ MBARGO

19TH SEPTEMBER, @ LAKOTA Famed for hosting zany, welldecorated events, Lakota remains many a Bristol students’ favourite club. Due to “overwhelming demand” for other official UWE Friday Freshers’ events, Festival of Colour has been added as an exciting extra and is not to be missed!

● We Love Wednesdays, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Killa Disko, @SYNDICATE ● Varsity, @ PAM PAM ● Daft Funk, @ MBARGO THURSDAY 16TH OCTOBER

● Pressure, @THEKLA ● Recess, @BUNKER ● Oh Hello, @PRYZM ● Prohibition, @PAM PAM ● Slam on the Breaks, @ MBARGO

SNAP!

21ST SEPTEMBER, @BUNKER Time and time again Bristol students find themselves flocking to the Triangle for a good old night at Bunker. Dress code? - Go as something that starts with the same letter as your first name.

FRIDAY 17TH OCTOBER

TUESDAY 30TH SEPTEMBER

THURSDAY 9TH OCTOBER

SATURDAY 18TH OCTOBER

URBZ AND SPICE PJ PARTY

FESTIVAL OF COLOUR

WEDNESDAY 15TH OCTOBER

● Bed, @BUNKER ● £1.50 a pint, @THE ANCHOR Open til Late, @BE AT ONE ● House Party, @MBARGO ● Get Up, @PAM PAM

15TH SEPTEMBER, @THE BIG CHILL Time to get feline for the official UWE event “Cat Face” at the very cool and aptly named Big Chill. Dress code is casual and cat whiskers.

16TH SEPTEMBER, @ SYNDICATE So, a lot of Freshers’ Week is spent trying to conjure up a half-decent fancy dress costume while you’ve still got a hangover. With this one, there’s no excuse not to bother. Whatever you wear to bed is the dress code (wearing nothing is NOT an option, however).

TUESDAY 14TH OCTOBER

● Come Get Some, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Eden, @ SYNDICATE ● Friday Series, @THEKLA ● Inmotion: The Blast X Swamp 81, @MOTION ● Woahnows + Brawlers, @ MOTHER’S RUIN

BE AT ONE ● Female DJs London, @THE BIG CHILL

CAT FACE

● Bed, @BUNKER ● £1.50 a pint, @THE ANCHOR ● Open til late, @BE AT ONE ● House Party, @MBARGO ● Get Up, @PAM PAM

Wednesday 8th October We Love Wednesdays, The Big Chill MK at Killa Disko, Syndicate Varsity, Pam Pam Daft Funk, Mbargo

● Binary History presents A History of UK Garage, @LAKOTA ● Pressure, @ THEKLA ● Recess, @ BUNKER ● Oh Hello, @PRYZM ● Prohibition, @PAM PAM

MONDAY 20TH OCTOBER

SUNDAY 19TH OCTOBER

MONDAY 13TH OCTOBER

MONDAY 29TH SEPTEMBER

● Quiz Night, @THE WHITE HARTE ● Jazz Funk Soul, @ THE BIG CHILL ● Switch, @ PAM PAM ● The Rub, @MBARGO

● Pub Quiz, @THE ANCHOR ● The Soul Strutters, @ MBARGO ● Pub Quiz, @ HOBGOBLIN

NIGHTLIFE : FRESHER’S BEST NIGHTS

PIRATE PARTY

● Project,@ SYNDICATE ● Banjax, @LAKOTA ● Pop Confessional, @THEKLA ● Takeover Saturdays, @ PRYZM ● Higher Ground, @ MBARGO

23RD SEPTEMBER, @THEKLA This is one of the more novelty nights on the UoB Freshers’ calendar. The night promises “two decks of Bristol’s finest DJs.

M I S TA J A M AT S Y N D I C AT E

WEDNESDAY 8 TH OCTOBER

WEDNESDAY 24 TH SEPTEMBER

/KILLADISKOBRISTOL

@KILLADISKO

BER

DISKO

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

FOR THE LATEST ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

Get the party started!! The Unwritten Rules of

Motion

NEW TO BRISTOL

ShotGUN PARTY On October 4th the guys at shotgun barbers are looking to host the first cocktail party on the premises for all new freshers, existing clients and anyone else who happens to pass by on the night!! Expect great cocktails and some big tunes from live djs from 7 pm onwards... 1a Pitville Place, Cotham Hill

www.unipaper.co.uk www.facebook.com/theunipaper www.twitter.com/theunipaper MEGAN DAVIES

FIND US ONLINE

PHOTO CREDIT: MEGAN DAVIES

FOR THOSE OF YOU who’ve just left home and are about to be unleashed into the wild, wavy world that is the city of Bristol – congratulations and good luck. You’ll meet a load of new people. Among this odd mix of acquaintances/BFFLs (let’s face it, it can swing either way at this stage), you are sure to find a certain person: the Motioner. For those of you who’ve just left home and are about to be unleashed into the wild, wavy world that is the city of Bristol – congratulations and good luck. You’ll meet a load of new people. Among this odd mix of acquaintances/BFFLs (let’s face it, it can swing either way at this stage), you are sure to find a certain person: the Motioner. The Motioner is quite easy to spot. When they’re not in their rooms listening to obscure, ambient house music (or even making their own), they can often be found drifting around university halls in their quasi-indie uniform of trainers and “ironic” gypsy pants, smoking roll ups. Now, Miss or Mr Motioner – who is probably cooler than you - has already landed a job as a promoter for club nights/events at Bristol’s infamous converted warehouse: Motion. So what is this “Motion” place that they all talk about? What is this hedonistic temple of edginess? Is it safe? Should I go? Many will tell you that stepping foot into Motion is like stepping into an episode of Skins: a hipster underworld in which you will never feel quite comfortable. If you listen to them then you’ll make the mistake of putting the place on an unnecessary pedestal for the rest of your university life and

feeling needlessly nervous at any suggestion of “a Motion night”. So, the first rule of Motion: don’t be intimidated. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a big place – it’s got at least three rooms and a huge outdoor area with a place serving burgers (nothing screams hardcore like cheesy chips, right?), but you’ll live. Just stick with your mates and enjoy yourself – chances are half of your halls of residence will be there too, so getting lost is almost impossible at any decent Motion night. The second rule: be surprised. If you’re phobic of house and terrified of dub then don’t write Motion off completely. Last year it played host to the nation-wide, electro-swing night “Itchy Feet”. Thirdly, don’t dress up. With the exception of “Itchy Feet”, where swishy 50s-style skirts are welcome (but by no means essential), keep it casual. And last but not least: be careful with money. From my experience, the drinks are not the cheapest. Pre-drink well and by all means have a couple during the night, but be sure to leave some cash for the long taxi ride home and, of course, that burger.

Bristol’s longest running underground night club Sign up to our mailing list online for the chance to win tickets www.lakota.co.uk

Lakota - Bristol

@LakotaBristol

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

11 Need a little something to spice up your pre-party? Check out Mindbenders

» MINDBENDERS ON PAGE 28

THE UNIVERSITY TEAM ATTENDED THE

LOADED MAGAZINE RELAUNCH PARTY @PRESS, LONDON

I AM LIVE DJs I AM FREEBIES I AM DISCOUNTS

Monday 13th October 6pm until 9pm To find out more and RSVP visit cabotcircus.com HCC0022 SS_University Paper_W259xH162.5mm.indd 1

04/09/2014 10:36

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

BY PHIL HAMILTON

PICTURES: BANG SHOWBIZ AGENCY

‘This Is How I Do’ Katy Perry is planning to write a tell-all book. The ‘This Is How We Do’ hitmaker has reportedly been offered a number of multi-million dollar book deals from American publishers who are convinced her story will be a worldwide hit. IN ADDITION to the breakdown of her marriage to Russell Brand - whom she split from in 2011, 14 months after they tied the knot - they’re also hoping she’ll spill the beans on her other high profile relationships with John Mayer and Gym Class Heroes star Travie McCoy. They also believe stories about her childhood would make for great reading as the queen of pop was brought up in a strict Christian family and was initially trying to make it as a gospel singer before becoming a household name with hits such as ‘I Kissed A Girl’ and ‘California Gurls’. A source said: “Her story and relationships are fascinating to many people in America, from her pop fans, Christian groups and star-loving book readers.”

Katy is reported to have been worried that Russell was going to open up about their sex life in a book of his own after he refused to agree to a gagging order in their divorce papers. However, he’s now shelved plans for a third instalment of his ‘My Booky Wook’ autobiography series. A source told the Daily Mirror newspaper: “Katy thought that Russell was going to tell all about what they got up to in the bedroom ... However, now the boot is on the other foot because Katy is being offered deals to come out and present her version of events. “She wasn’t very kind to Russell when she spoke about him after the split and with her star at such a meteoric height, publishers expect her to be a best seller.”

BELIEBING IN BETTER BEHAVIOUR JUSTIN BIEBER is reportedly seeing a therapist.The 20-year-old singer is allegedly seeing a £600-an-hour Los Angeles shrink, John Kenyon, to help control his impulsive behaviour following multiple run ins with the law - which left him facing charges of assault and drag racing - earlier this year. A source told The Daily Star newspaper: “Kenyon’s treating Justin in person, when possible, then over Skype when he’s away. Sometimes they even have more than one session a day.” The source added: “Kenyon’s so booked up he doesn’t normally take on new clients but Justin used his name to skip the three-year waiting list. “It’s too soon to tell if it’s having a

positive effect , but the fact that Justin has kept it up and passed the first batch of sessions speaks volumes. “If he hates something he’s not normally the kind of person to stick it out.” It is thought Justin was encouraged to participate in the sessions by his mother Pattie Mallette, 39, who has become increasingly worried that his erratic behaviour will be damaging to his career. The source explained: “His mum Pattie suggested he should give it a go. “She’s constantly worried he’ll do something that will ruin everything he’s worked for. And he adores his mum so he agreed to do it for her.”

KIM’S KRYING GAME KIM KARDASHIAN WEST was reduced to tears when she had to babysit her sister’s kids. The 33-year-old star agreed to look after her older sibling Kourtney’s two children, Mason, four, and Penelope, two, while also caring for her own 14-month-old daughter North - her child with husband Kanye West. Kim admits she struggled to care for all three kids and was “crying” at the end of the day when she finally got them all in bed. During an appearance on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ - which aired on September 9th - she revealed: “I just went to San Diego to give my pregnant sister a break. “I took care of my niece, nephew, and my daughter. To bathe them - all three - feed them, get them in their pyjamas and down for bed, I was literally crying!” Kim added: “It was so hard, three kids. I don’t know how my mom did it with six.” Kim’s emotional babysitting experience has made her think twice about her previous wish to have a large family. She admitted: “I’ll go for two, but then again I have so many siblings and I love it, they’re my best friends and I would love that for my kids. So I’m going to do two and see how it goes. I don’t think [I’d have] six, but maybe three or four - I go back and forth.” As well as Kim and Kourtney their mother Kris Jenner also has son Rob and daughter Khloe from her marriage to their late father Robert Kardashian and daughters Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner from her relationship with estranged husband Bruce Jenner.

Never, ever, ever... GETTING A DATE? TAYLOR SWIFT has not been on a date since she split from Harry Styles. The ‘Trouble’ singer has been involved in numerous high-profile relationships since breaking into the pop industry, including romances with Joe Jonas, John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal, but Swift, 24, says she’s not seen anybody since she split from Harry of One Direction. Speaking to Rolling Stone magazine, she explained: “[I] have not gone on a date. People are going to feel sorry for me when you write that. But it’s true.” Taylor says that one reason why she has con-

sciously avoided dating was because she felt that she was making too many headlines for that reason. She explained: “I’m just not comfortable providing that kind of entertainment anymore. I don’t like seeing slide shows of guys I’ve apparently dated. “I don’t like giving comedians the opportunity to make jokes about me at awards shows. I don’t like it when headlines read ‘Careful, Bro, She’ll Write a Song About You,’ because it trivializes my work.” The ‘Love Story’ hitmaker added: “And most of all, I don’t like how all these factors add up to build the pressure so high in a new relationship that it gets snuffed out before it even has a chance to start.”

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MUSIC

R.I.P FRANKIE KNUCKLES THE PASSING of Frankie Knuckles earlier this year marked an end of an era for house music. In April, musos mourned as the unexpected death of Frankie Knuckles hit the headlines. Frankie dubbed “The godfather of house music” died at his home in Chicago aged 59 following complications to Type II diabetes. Despite his career being cut short he leaves behind a musical legacy that will have generations to come cutting shapes. The Grammy-winning DJ and producer started his career in the early 1970‘s as a disco DJ at The Warehouse in Chicago. It was his experimental style that would later become known as house, a genre which would inspire dance acts such as Daft Punk to take to the decks. Frankie’s career went from strength to strength, with chart topping tracks such as “Your Love” and “The Whistle Song”. He also began produce records for the likes of Madonna, Whitney Houston and Depeche Mode. In 2004, then Illinois state senator, Barack Obama dubbed August 25th Frankie Knuckles Day and re-named the street where the Warehouse once stood, Frankie Knuckles Way. In 2005, he was inducted into the Dance Music Hall of Fame. However three years later, he developed diabetes which would lead to having his foot amputated. But this didn’t stop Frankie, who played gigs right up until two days before his death. But what made Knuckles stand apart from the rest was that he understood how to make it happen on the dance floor, sometimes referred to as the “priest of the dancefloor”. Only time will tell who will step up to the decks next.

PARTY ANIMAL? ALWAYS OUT AND ABOUT? Did you catch up with our snappers. Check out pages 10 and 11 to see if you made the cut.

REVIEWS

ALBUM REVIEW

NEW EYES CLEAN BANDIT

2014 has been the year of Clean Bandit! After having the UK’s fastest-selling single of 2014 so far with their chart-topping anthem “Rather Be”, they also completed a hugely successful UK tour and a massively varied festival season across the UK and around the world. Their new album New Eyes has a multitude of tunes such as “Mozart’s House”, “Extraordinary”, “Come Over”, “A&E” and “Heart on Fire” and with their signature mix of classical music and garage pop they have managed to hit new heights with their album. ‘Extraordinary’ is a excellently executed mix of percussion beats, while ‘Mozart’s House’ manages to take a sample of the composer’s String Quartet No. 21 and then magically turns it into an impressive house rave within seconds and newly released single ‘Come Over’ was one of the biggest

hits of summer 2014. The album manages to layer classical music over beats and at the same time incorporates many different textures and influences across the 13-track album and their decision to collaborate with largely unknown artists had added more flare to the album, than cashing in which in turn turns the album in to a massively successful varied collection. However, even though the album is mostly successful in its approach, they do have a few tracks that closely touch on annoying. The repetitive hook of ‘Telephone Banking’ slips into annoying half way through and even the album named track ‘New Eyes’ is too long-winded.

RATING: 5/5

THE ROUND UP: To Me, Her Hips Don’t Lie SHAKIRA IS expecting another son. The ‘She Wolf’ singer announced last month she is pregnant with her second child with soccer star Gerard Piqué. Now Shakira’s mother Nidia and father William have revealed she is carrying a brother for her 19-month-old son Milan. Her parents told Hola! magazine: “We’re very happy. She’s having another baby boy - a playmate for Milan.” Although they now the sex of their next grandchild, Nidia and William do not know what Shakira and Gerard plan to call their next baby. They added: “We don’t know anything about names yet.” Shakira confirmed the happy news in a magazine interview and on her Twitter page telling her millions of followers: “Yes, we are expecting our second baby!! Thank you all for your well wishes!” Shakira, 37, has previously stated she’d like to have a huge family with Gerard, 27, with her dream being to have enough kids for her

own soccer side. She previously said: “If it weren’t because of my music projects, I would be pregnant already. I would love to have eight or nine kids

To You

WILL YOUNG has started selling his old clothes online. The ‘Jealousy’ singer has launched an online fashion website with friends, selling old items of clothing alongside a selection of new items. Despite his estimated £12.5 million fortune, the 35-year-old star has been clearing out his wardrobe to get rid of his unwanted items on the virtual retailer, My Vintage Journey. He tweeted: “My website http://myvintagejourney.com is live!!!! Hats in all colours, vintage and 2nd hand clothes and bits and pieces! More stuff to come (sic)” Fans of the singer - who won the inaugural series of the ITV singing competition ‘Pop Idol’ in 2002 - can purchase a variety of items from vintage waistcoats to Alexander McQueen high top sneakers, with several items previously being owned by the ‘Leave Right Now’ crooner. Will informed his 191,000 followers on Twitter that the most popular items are, in

fact, not his unwanted garments, but knitted beanie hats which are being sold on the site for £15 each. The website features a handwritten ‘About Us’ page which reads: “Here our team finds treasures. Treasures to wear, treasures to look at, treasures to give and/or keep for yourself! “Our aim is to focus on quality. Found clothes, accessories and little gems are our passion. We all have day to day jobs and we all come together to discover stuff we want to pass on to you.”

BIG CHILL BAR 15 SMALL ST BRISTOL BS1 1DE MON • 5PM—2AM TUES—WEDS • 12PM—2AM THURDAY • 12PM—2AM FRI—SAT • 12PM—4AM SUNDAY • BANK HOLS ONLY WWW.WEAREBIGCHILL.COM

MON 1

THURS 18

FRI 19

SAT 13

PHARCYDE OFFICIAL AFTERPARTY

WIN WIN

ASIAN HAWK

MOJO

DJ Neckbone plays forgotten classics and future faves.

The DMC Champion spins and cuts Hip-Hop, old and new.

John Stapleton & Steve Rice return for a night packed with vintage vinyl. From rockin’ Blues to Funk with maybe a hint of Ska on the way.

For all of you wanting to keep the party going get on down to the bar for some late night Hip-Hop action.

EVERY WEDS WE LOVE WEDNESDAYS Sip The Juice’s Felix Joy & fam play all manner of ill-mannered floor bangers past and present. Open late and packed with high-grade Hip-Hop, so come correct for the dancefloor.

THURS 4 HIGH JON THE CONQUEROR PRES. A fresh blend of the finest Ska, Reggae, Dub, Dancehall and Steppas with special guests every month.

THURS 11 FAST & LOOSE PRES. THE BIG SWING Monthly night of Swing and Electroswing.

THURS 25 SCRIBBLE & SCRATCH 1ST BIRTHDAY Monthly illustration and turntablism battle.

FRI 5 HYPE SESSIONS Hypercolour’s Cedric Maison and Sam Mole bring guests to play the biggest sizzlers in House and Techno. IN THE STUDY w/ ROCKIT SCIENCE

FRI 12 THE MONITORS Bloggers by day, crime solving super DJs by night, The Monitors are hell bent on saving the world from boredom with their deep, soulful, rhythmic beats. IN THE STUDY w/ UPTOWN SOUND

IN THE STUDY w/ LATE NIGHT NATIVES

FRI 26 BEDMO DISCO #006 ALEXANDER NUT Eglo Records boss and Rinse FM regular Alex Nut showcases his soulful and eclectic blend of Disco, Boogie, Hip-Hop, Afro, Latin, House and Jazz, with Bedmo Disco in support. IN THE STUDY w/ OWAIN K

SAT 6 INVADER FM TRANSMISSION #003 Hip-Hop and block party vibes from Powercut and Invader FM DJs. IN THE STUDY w/ MIKE SHAWE & FRIENDS

IN THE STUDY w/ SOULWORKS

SAT 20 A HISTORY OF... R&B Felix Joy and Peter Storm spin Doo-Wop to Hip Hop. IN THE STUDY w/ HERD

SAT 27 45 LIVE BRISTOL DJ YODA & HOST BOCA 45 Hip-Hop, Disco, Funk, Soul, Latin and Reggae. Strictly 7” only. IN THE STUDY w/ DIRTY THOUGHTS

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

TECHNOLOGIC PHIL HAMILTON

TECHNOLOGY EDITOR

GADGETS This month: PHONES WE ALL KNOW Apple are a bunch of B******ds when it comes to putting out iPhone upgrades every five minutes to iScrew our bank accounts. We’re now on iPhone model 246S, and despite a battery life that can only be described as S***, Apple have been the world champion of smartphones for years... But since Steve Jobs popped off to tech heaven a lot of other contenders have sprung up ready take the iPhone’s title. So who could become the new champ? Phil ‘The Hammer’ Hamilton is stepping in the ring to bash about the

best of the rest to see which can batter Apple. Maybe it’s time for us all to grow the balls to leave iPhones behind. Beyond the upgrades you feel forced to keep up with, don’t go into an Apple store if you want to keep cash in your account. Their sales reps wandering around holding little handsets will have you owing £2,000 before you know it. Here’s the other choices to give Tim Cook a boot in the stones. And if you don’t know who he is, look it up. On your iPhone.

PHONES & STUFF

GAMES

MOBILES

COMPUTERS

TABLETS

APPS

HTC ONE (M8)

Available from htc.com / RRP: £549.99 YES, IT’S PRICEY, but this is the handset that would lure me into ditching the iPhone. Like a top of the range of sports car it looks stunning, and what’s under the hood is just as impressive. I love the curved design of the aluminium body and the five-inch, full HD 1080x1920 pixel screen is perfect for watching films, TV and surfing the web. Its in-built Blink Feed news channel is brilliantly executed, pooling the best news from all over the world and web. You can also add any RSS feed you want and any social media posts. When you get into this feature you’ll find it hard to stay away. Battery life is very impressive for a phone that does so much and although the camera is only 4 megapixels the HTC One’s Duo Camera system (basically it has a depth sensor for clarity) means you can take amazing photos. And with the Dimension Plus feature you can make your images 3D. And in case you’ve forgotten, it still makes – and receives – phonecalls. TOP-RATED

EE KESTREL

Available from ee.co.uk / RRP: £99

SAMSUNG GALAXY K ZOOM Available from mobiles.co.uk / RRP: £399.95

AT FIRST this feels like a camera that thinks it’s a phone. It’s bulky in the hand due to the fact it has an optical lens that extends to 24mm. But what a camera – 10xoptical zoom with 20.7 megapixels BSI CMOS sensor. It really gives the best digital cameras on the market a run for their money. Let’s be honest, everyone’s taking pics and bloody selfies on phones anyway, so who carries a camera round with them? The rest of the handset is still very impressive – 4G, 1280x720 screen (almost full HD, although occasionally it can seem a bit fuzzy) with Android installed. Not as good as its stable mate the Galaxy S5 but still a very decent bit of kit. RATING

YOU WANT A SMARTPHONE but don’t fancy shelling out the best part of £500? Well, with the EE Kestrel you don’t have to. At just £99 it’s the cheapest smartphone on the market and still comes with 4G. Of course it doesn’t have all the bells and whistles and processing power of its more expensive and well-known rivals but, honestly, for this price, who cares? It’s fast to browse the web (you can stream Netflix very nicely) because of EE’s unique double-speed 4G network, the battery seems to last forever, it’s Android-loaded, the 5 megapixel camera has an LED flash and user-friendly camera app that works better in daylight than at night (but then maybe you shouldn’t be pulling out your phone every five minutes in the pub to take pics of yourself having a great time instead of drinking. You twats.) It doesn’t have a true HD screen and blahblahblah. I’m getting sick of listing all this bullshit for things that were invented to send texts and take calls. But basically, I like this no-nonsense smartphone. If I was being whimsical I’d say it’s the Ronseal of the market. It does what it says on the tin. It isn’t a rip-off. And its battery – unlike the Apple iCuntS – lasts longer than the length of two PornHub clips. RATING

IF YOU’RE IN have been on all over this the heart firs Available from various retailers most excitin RRP: £229.99 It includes THIS MIDDLE-MARKET SMART- creates some PHONE is just a bit, well, meh. experience n The design is not particularly it’s the dogs beautiful, its 720-resolution I’m sure m screen just doesn’t appear that iar with the H clear on the Archos’ five-inch Xbox 360 mu screen, left, and the 8-megapixel the develope camera is, to be blunt, turd. who are resp But 4G works well, it has 8GB Yes, once of storage space, it’s pre-loaded some of the with Android Jelly Bean, has 1GB become appa of RAM and the battery lasts for way grenade ages as long as you don’t spend to the Maste all day gaming or streaming porn. Destiny is To be blunt this handset is like after a catacl the chubby girl with the mousey of Earth and brown hair dancing in the night- of the last ci club 30 minutes before it shuts... As well as momentarily tempting but you and maim on can definitely do better. ancient ruin And you’ll regret it if you take galactic gang her home. The story quest to recl Golden Age i RATING Halo veter really sensat Spartan to su to what you c Well, Bung ter-customis There is a on a characte Those of y house with s will be able t tomising aw The way yo you so wish y online comm will be packe As well as special ment which are a r there is virtu

ARCHOS 50 HELIUM 4G

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

TRANSFORMERS

TOASTIE MAKERS

HEADPHONES

SPEAKERS

GAMES

LAPTOPS

NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

DRONES

VUVUZELAS

PREVIEW: WWE 2K15

‘It’s boring and irritating when you see players flying through the air like armour-clad birds from the slow-motion bits of The Matrix’

Last year 2K Sports acquired the much sought-after WWE license and a year on from the excellent WWE 2K14 we are just a couple of months away from their next matt-slamming effort. Although WWE ‘Superman’ John Cena is the cover star, the most exciting piece of news we’ve had from 2K is that wrestling legend Sting (pity his name is stained by that tantric numpt) is to be a playable character for the first time ever in a WWE game – if you pre-order.For those of you not aware why this is exciting I’ll tell you why. Sting is considered one the greatest wrestlers of all time but has never wrestled for the biggest wrestling company, instead cementing his legacy in the NWA (National Wrestling Alliance – I hate typing out the full meanings of acronyms, FFS, but I will so noone can whinge they

REVIEW OF THE MONTH

don’t understand these wrestling terms – even though you should), WCW (World Championship Wrestling and the company that nearly put WWE – World Wrestling Entertainment – out of business in the mid to late ’90s) and most recently TNA (Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling.) This is a BIG deal. Sting’s appearance is believed to be part of the rumoured Attitude-era mode which will allow players to relive the greatest matches from the Monday Night Wars in the ’90s from both WWE and WCW. Other game types expected to be included are an updated Universe mode which allows you to book your own WWE shows and pay-per-view extravaganzas. There’s also said to a revamped WrestleMania mode where you recreate the biggest matches in the show’s history. Other confirmed playable characters include current super-stars such as Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan as well as a host of legends such as Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Honky Tonk Man and Sycho Sid Eudy. I personally can’t wait for this game and got so excited writing this I decided to don Lycra pants and bodyslam all of my kids on the floor. As The Hulkster would say, “Whatcha gonna do when WWE2K15 runs wild on you!” Drink a long, tall glass of shut up juice and get playing. OUT: OCTOBER 31 ON PLAYSTATION 4, PLAYSTATION 3, XBOX ONE, XBOX 360 AND PC.

DESTINY: BETA IF YOU’RE INTO YOUR GAMES then Destiny will have been on your radar for some time. ‘ve been all over this heart-pumping, adrenaline shot in the heart first-person shooter – arguably the most exciting release of the year. It includes all the best tricks of the genre but creates something unique to provide a gaming experience not easily forgotten. To put it simply it’s the dogs’ bollocks. I’m sure most of you reading this will be familiar with the Halo games that made the Xbox and Xbox 360 must-have consoles, and it is Bungie, the developer behind that blockbuster series, who are responsible for Destiny. Yes, once you get a few hours into playing some of the similarities between the two titles become apparent but these are a good thing – the way grenades are wielded owe a special thank you to the Master Chief. Destiny is set in our solar system in the future after a cataclysmic event has changed the course of Earth and you play as one of the “Guardians” of the last city on the battered planet. As well as being able to shoot, kill and maim on Earth you can also explore the ancient ruins of our solar system – grab a gun you galactic gangster – we’re shooting up Venus. The story mode really is engrossing and your quest to reclaim what was lost in mankind’s Golden Age is as compelling as any sci-fi movie. Halo veterans will know the online mode was really sensational. You could customise your Spartan to suit your wishes but there were limits to what you could change. Well, Bungie has brought us a limitless character-customisation game here. There is a limit to what I have time to change on a character (or be bothered to.) Those of you yet to get hitched or fill your house with screaming snot-spewing mini-me’s will be able to spend your ample free time customising away in the style of role-playing games. The way you can play online has changed too. If you so wish you can play the story mode with the online community – which if you’re unlucky will be packed with loads of whiny Americans. As well as the Solo or Co-operative story (and special mention for the cinematic sequences which are a revolution in game development as there is virtually no loss of graphics from game-

play mode), other online game modes include Strike, Crucible and Tower. Tower is less of a mode but more of an area where you can hang out with other players to forge alliances, create special forces and upgrade guns and items. What is very appealing about the game is that it is very easy to jump into and start playing and it soon draws you into the beautifully rendered world. It also isn’t the type of game where you will die

over and over again which for me just becomes fucking annoying. I really have just one minor gripe with Destiny and that is how your character jumps (as I said – minor. But I’m still going to gripe about it.) I know it’s dull as shit to quibble about ingame physics but your Guardian just jumps too bloody high and takes too long to land. It’s boring and irritating when you see players flying through the air like armour-clad birds from the slow-motion bits of The Matrix. Regardless of my jumping angst this is a musthave title. And the world agrees. Almost 5 million people played the PlayStation 4 and PlayStation 3 Betas – so, and I never thought I’d say this, go and join everyone else. They’re right on this one.

RATING: 5/5 (TESTED ON PS4 BETA) AVAILABLE FROM SEPTEMBER 9 ON PLAYSTATION 4, PLAYSTATION 3, XBOX ONE AND XBOX 360.

PREVIEW: PROJECT SPARK MICROSOFT’S GAME-CHANGING ‘GAME MAKER’ title will hit shelves in October and I’ve been getting to grips with the good and the bad aspects of the title. The premise of Project Spark is that you create 3-D worlds in which you are boundless in what you want to create. Basically you can make the game you dreamed to make, but never had the power to do so. In Project Spark you have a terrain which you can sculpt and mould into a complex world. You can add your choice of foliage and animals, and make an environment like no other. Want to get Robin Hood to fight a giant overlord of Planet Piñata? Then you’re in luck. Just pop it in there. It’s like playing a god. You have logic too. A game would not be fun if

it had no va-va-voom. That’s why things need to have “scripts”. Project Spark is very close to real-life game development where you use ‘what if statements’ and so many more complexities I was never arsed to do a computer science degree to learn. Project Spark is complex in scripting logic which is so simple to learn it really does set up the average gamer up for programming in the future. Then comes the bad bit... Project Spark is too similar to the original IP of this genre of play, create, share, Little Big Planet which is due for another sequel this year. Project Spark is enthusiastic in its premise and of course it’s aimed more at teens and adults, but it’s going to be in the shadow of Little Big Planet unless the users get to grips with all the options Spark allows.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

CURRENT

» CONTINUED FROM FRONT COVER

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE...

THE THREE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

The story all starts with a night out in Manchester. Walking home with friends, he spots a roadside bin with its front hatch open, a very rare sight and one that he could not refuse taking advantage of. Now would be a good time to add that memorable stories don’t come without friends there to witness them or in this case be the reason behind the incident. As Robin climbed inside the open hatch his housemates, who were slightly tipsy, kicked the door closed as a joke. Now the victim might well say he would have done the same to them if they were in that position but unfortunately for Robin the door to the bin automatically locked. The rescue mission was now on.

the judgement. Of course, there are certain drawbacks to having that many sexual partners. Indeed, if you’re plagued by an itchy, burning sensation, then you might be studying in Nottingham, where gonorrhoea’s truly gone viral, or Birmingham, which tops our metaphorical league table for chlamydia in 18-25s. Of course, the real question is how much it costs to get a drink. There are lots of figures floating around, but the same HSBC report that declared Leicester the cheapest university in the country also declared that Leeds was the cheapest place to drink, with five pints of beer or two bottles of wine costing only £12. But who’re the biggest drinkers? It’s not a cheap city, by any means, but that honor goes to Bath. According to the most recent University Drinking League Table by Student Beans, Bath Spa students drink a liver-melting 26.3 units of alcohol a week on average. For reference, the Department of Health recommends that men drink no more than 21 units a week, and women no more than 14. Newcastle has been crowned as one of the UK’s leading tourist attractions. Sure, it’s a beautiful city - but time and time again, what people return for is the city’s nightlife. In fact, Tripadvisor users have voted Newcastle as the seventh best place for nights out in the world.

“We kicked the door closed and it stuck! We’ve all tried pulling the door at the same and we’ve tried tipping it,” Robin’s friend Jack Tame can be heard saying on the video. With their efforts coming up short, they didn’t know what else to do other than call the fire brigade. Cat’s stuck in trees is the usual joke task that fire fighters are linked with but students stuck in bins takes that to a whole new level. With his friends laughing on and Robin shaking hands with people outside of the bin, the firemen arrived. Like any good rescue service they knew exactly what was needed for the job straight away. Producing a little tool from their truck, they opened the bin with ease much to the delight of Robin. Finally able to stand up again, Robin’s first act was to give his rescuers a big hug to say thanks for their efforts. And now his ordeal has realised instant fame as his video has hit the internet ensuring his embarrassing story will be remembered by more than just a select few friends. Unfortunately for Robin (and possibly for the image of students across the land), that isn’t the only story of a student getting stuck in an object in recent time. And this American student’s ordeal saw him stuck in something much stranger than a bin on the side of a street. Tubingen, Germany was the setting for another firefighter rescue, 22 of them required to remove a student from 32-ton stone vagina. Yes you read that right as outside Tubingen University’s institute for microbiology and virology stands a sculpture that artist Fernando de la Jara reveals is meant to signify ‘the gateway to the world’. However, one student decided it would be a good idea (for whatever reason but I hope it was a dare) to jump inside the artwork, only to get himself stuck. A few adjustments and not long later, the student was free, accompanied by a story he won’t want to be telling his family anytime soon. University is a time for embarrassing stories to take place that you hope will never see the light of day. But at least we can rest safely in the knowledge that no matter what we do in our time away from home, there are always people out there that go the extra mile to make sure our embarrassing moments don’t seem as bad.

...but at least he wasn’t this guy...

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Fashion ESSENTIALS

SASKIA QUIRKE

FASHION EDITOR

Women WELL HEELED

These booties wont keep your toes warm but they will look good.

GET LIPPY

BOOTS, £55, MISS SELFRIDGE

Perfect for puckering up, this balm leave lips super soft and tastes good too

LIP BALM, £8, OLIVER BONAS

ZIP IT

Tick off two of this season’s biggest trends, leather and texture, with this biker

BIKER JACKET, £85, H! BY HENRY HOLLAND AT DEBENHAMS

JUST PEACHY This simple boxy cut is classic with a colourful twist

COAT, £44.99 NEW LOOK

PRINTS CHARMING

print and Take one pretty t collar. add a statemen ve? The What do you ha ent shift. tem sta ultimate

DRESS, £10, PRIMARK

FLOWER POWER Because every lip gloss and mascara deserves a fashionable home

MAKE-UP BAG, £12, CATH KIDSON

ARM CANDY

This chic bargain bag looks like it should costs three times its price tag

GREY BAG, £29, ACCESSORIZE

HIGH SHINE

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CLUTCH CONTROL

This popping pink bag adds the perfect punch to any LBD

BAG, £35, MISS SELFRIDGE

The sweatshirt gets modern makeov er with this sequin numb er

SWEATSHIRT, £6 9, HOUSE OF FRAS ER

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, £50 SHOES OP H S P O T

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

TOP TIP : WOMEN

TOP TIP : MEN

FLORAL FANCY

COOL KICKS

Statement necklace that will make even the most simple tee wow

This new navy, slate, silver and neon orange colourway makes these these perfect autumn trainer.

NECKLACE, £29, ACCESSORIZE

TRAINERS, £105, NIKE

Half mac, half parka, we love this simple but stylish coat.

COAT, £65, NEXT

MEN

ESSENTIALS

WINTER WARMER

GLOSS FINISH

Paint your lips pink with a slick of this from Stila and it will stay all day

LIP GLOSS, £18, STILA

LEATHER LUXE

Cos accessories for guys make the perfect gift. This bracelet is one for the birthday list

BRACELET, £10, COS

THE WEEKENDER BUTTON UP

From paisley to polka dot to mountain prints, Topman has put its stamp on this autumn’s shirts.

SHIRT, £45, NEW LOOK

This handsome holdall means you’ll arrive at any destination in style

HOLDALL, £50, F&F AT TESCO

POP A CAP ON IT MONOCHROME MUST-HAVE Houndstooth, quilted, black and white - all in one bomber jacket. What’s not to love?

JACKET, £65.99, ZARA

BLUE HUE CHECK MATE

Snap up this tee for the easiest way to work the check trend.

This bright blue cable knit jumper is a real steal.

THE LITTLE YELLOW BOOK

PUFFER UP

Quilted gillets and coats are back. Welcome back the Nineties in this Zara number

oys e to b e h t f ro shoe

CAP, £8.99, NEW LOOK

JUMPER, £35 BURTON

T-SHIRT, £18, NEXT

S SHOE

This marble effect snapback is finished off with a cool Airtex style design

Hungover? In desperate need of carbs? This book will help you whip up the perfect hangover cure.

BOOK, £8, BURTON

GILLET, £49.99, ZARA

MAN BAG

CONTRAST COLLAR

SKATER SHOES

DENIM JACKET, BOOHOO

SHOES, £59, COS

For an on trend denim jacket opt for a sheepskin effect collar

Simple slip-ons are still going strong this season. Comfy and stylish.

Keep it understated with this grey backpack with contrast straps. Less is more.

BACKPACK, £25, BURTON

ADVICE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

NO-NONSENSE ADVICE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Second Year: We’re not Freshers Anymore Job Hunting For Final Year

Students DANIEL ROBBINS

Coming to the end of your final year? Worrying about how to put yourself in the best possible position to walk out into a job? Then fear no more as we have compiled a list of some of the best tips to get onto the job ladder, but with a twist. Anyone can tell you to get experience, to be punctual or to have your CV in order. But what can you do to set yourself apart from the rest? Look no further than these three handy tips below!

1 AS YOUR UNIVERSITY OPENS its floodgates to another wave of Freshers that are young, dumb and full of the joys of spring, second year students prepare to face a different reality. This year actually counts towards your degree so it’s time to shake off your bad first year habits if you want a degree classification that doesn’t share its name with a South African bishop. Firstly, you actually have to attend lectures this year. We’ve all been guilty of skipping lectures after telling ourselves “it’s only one lecture – I’ll catch up” although we never do! You can be almost certain your lecturer will be wearing those beige trousers but you can’t be certain of what important information he is going to share with you so force yourself out of bed and go!

Secondly, writing that 4000 word essay the night before the deadline on a heart-attack inducing concoction of Red Bull and ProPlus is no longer going to cut it. You need to plan and organise your coursework more so than your nights out this year. Thirdly, you need to find out where the library is. Note – it’s not in the Student Union’s bar. It’s alright to enjoy your life (you’re not a third year quite yet!) but make sure you’re actually doing the reading and studying as you’ll find it difficult to blag your way through second year. Finally, you must of course develop a hatred of Freshers as they waltz around uni without a care in the world!

CLUB DRUG CLINIC LAURA RAPHAEL

Taking drugs is nothing GBL is used to clean car wheel

trims, however if ingested it can give a high similar to alcohol and increase sex drive. It is a colourless and tasteless liquid that can be swallowed or injected. Withdrawal symptoms can last up to 15 days after the last dose, and it is easy to OD on GBL as there is not much difference in the amount required to get high or slip into a coma.

MEPHEDRONE, branded

meow meow by the media, is a stimulant that can give a similar high to amphetamines such as speed and ecstasy. It is a white powder that can be swallowed, injected or snorted and the effects last for about an hour. When the drug first emerged on the internet dealers marketed it as “plant food” or “bath salts” to get around the law, however it was made illegal in 2010. Some users refer to it as meph, but should not be confused with meth.

NITROUS OXIDE, more

commonly known as laughing gas, can give a relaxed and euphoric feeling when inhaled. It is not illegal and users have taken to openly inhaling the gas using balloons, however local authorities have started to seize canisters from users distributing or taking the drug in public places. There is a concern users believe it is a safe legal high, without acknowledging that it can cause oxygen deprivation resulting in loss of blood pressure, fainting and heart attacks.

BE MEMORABLE If you get the chance to do work experience in your respective field don’t just turn up and just get by every day. Do something memorable! Pitch ideas to your boss and leave them at the end of a week remembering you by something out of the ordinary that you did for them. Add your quirky experiences where you have shown leadership or another crucial quality to your CV as well to make your piece of paper stand out from the rest.

BUILD CONTACTS A rather straight forward one but an important factor nonetheless. A follow on from the point above, if you make yourself memorable more people will take notice of you in the work place. Don’t be a shrinking violet, shake as many hands, get as many names and contacts as humanly possible in a week, you never know when they could come in handy.

BE PERSISTENT Continuing on from building contacts, you need to keep in touch with them in numerous ways. Drop them an email every couple of weeks, drop into the office where they work or give them a call. It may seem like you are being annoying but employers like someone who is proactive and all these points show you are just that.

First Class Honours Closer Than You Think DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

First Class Honours! What an achievement that can be after three or four years of hard work. But that is just what is needed; hard work. It isn’t going to come easy. Luckily for you there are some tips to follow to make the achievement more manageable. The first point you need to consider is that you can’t just wait until the last year to work hard as you won’t achieve what you are hoping for. That’s not to say you have to live in the library and not go out during every year at University, you just need to strike the right balance. You have to break down your hard work over your entire course. If you manage good grades in year one, work will become easier in the years to follow. It is simple really. Planning for your final grade come graduation begins in the first year. Getting into good habits early on is a must so whatever the exam, class test or coursework you do, aim to get the best grade you can! The feedback you get from your work, alongside the grades, are brilliant indicators early on as to where you are in University based tests. From there you have two or three years to improve and gradually work your way up to getting firsts on mock tests. So there you have it, preparation is key and if you get in to good habits early on, First Class Honours could be closer than you think!

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Are you about to go all the way? LAURA RAPHAEL

Uni is a time for having fun but just make sure it’s good, clean fun. Remember you came to uni to get a degree, not an STD. SEX IS CLEANER WITH A PACKAGED WIENER. If you’re not 100 per cent certain about where your sexual partner has been then it’s always best to be on the safe side. Sex with a condom/ femidom might not feel as good as skin-on-skin but catching chlamydia feels a lot worse. Also, DO NOT open them with your teeth. You may have seen it in a film and you may think that it’s sexy (it’s not), but doing this could cause you to break or tear the latex so just open it with your hands like a civilised human being instead of a sex-crazed animal.

PICTURE CREDIT SHUTTERSTOCK

There are two types of long distance relationships at university. One that makes university ever better and one that turns you into Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Suddenly you are a paranoid wreck, stalking their social media into the small hours and wondering just who is that girl in all your boyfriend’s pictures. And don’t worry the boys are just as possessive, even though they wouldn’t readily admit it.

ORAL SEX ISN’T SAFE SEX. STD’s can still be transmitted through oral sex but the risk is reduced by the use of a condom or dental dam. You might be put off as this can make the act less enjoyable but nobody will want to kiss you after if you’ve got gonorrhoea on your face. If you still aren’t sold then google facial herpes - it’s not good.

If you are currently faced with the long distance dilemma we have three relationship saving tips: COMMUNICATION:

You are going to be meeting a whole new group of people, getting to know a whole new city and perhaps toasting this with a drink or two. Not to mention the information overload from lectures. But don’t get too caught up in your new life that you forget to keep in touch with your other half.

HANGING OUT:

This is especially important if they are not going to university, they will start to feel that they are not part of your life and once that thought process begins, the drifting apart starts. Don’t forget to have a laugh, relationships are fun not a chore. Make them a part of your new routine, plan weekends together just don’t squander your train fare in the SU beforehand

WORK AT IT:

Over the next three years you and your other half are going to change. You can grow together but this is something you need to work on and more importantly never give up on.

Don’t Put the

STD in STuD PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF. Not all STDs have visible symptoms so don’t just assume you’re STD-free because nothing’s oozing or hurting. If you do have unprotected sex, be sure to visit your local sexual health clinic for a screening. It’s easy, quick, and free and they’ve seen it all before.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MY MONEY

IMPARTIAL, EXPERT ADVICE

Peter Jones

How to budget your money

FROM STUDENT TO MENTOR

LAURA RAPHAEL

DANIEL ROBBINS

Your student loan is probably not only the biggest amount of money you have ever seen but someone has just given it to you. Not to mention, as part of your student bank account you are now the proud owner of an overdraft and possibly even a credit card. First of all, don’t get too excited. You are going to have to pay it all back, with interest. But you can make that money go a long way and there are money saving apps, free ones at that.

mySuperList

You’ll probably only appreciate this when you are eating pasta everyday, but to save you to getting to that point, mySuperList enables you not only to draw up a shopping list, but it will tell you how much you should expect to fork out for it and which is the cheapest supermarket to go to.

Vouchercloud

Come deadline day you’ll want to treat yourself and here is how to do it on the cheap. Vouchercloud uses GPS technology to root out all the deals and discounts going in your area. All you have to do is select the ones you like the look off and download them straight to your phone.

OnTrees

You know it has got bad when instead of checking your bank balance you simply pray that the transaction goes through. Don’t. Set up a budget and OnTrees will then keep tabs on all your incomings and outgoings so you can see how closely you are sticking to it.

Coupon Queen Saves Thousands of Pounds Do you like to think of yourself as a bit of a bargain hunter? A super scrimper, perhaps? Well, Maddy Tooke from Essex is here to put you to shame. The 26-year-old student has managed to save over a whopping £22,000 a year by using coupons! Maddy Tooke first starting using coupons when she left her £22,000-a-year job in the army and began to worry about how her and her husband would survive on just one wage. The 26-year-old super saver said: “When I gave up my job to study sports I was really worried about giving up the lifestyle my husband and I had become used to. We didn’t live the life of luxury but we enjoyed meals out, liked to decorate the house and I enjoyed shopping. But when I started looking into ways to save money I couldn’t believe how easy it was. Now I can’t believe I ever paid full price for anything.” Some of Maddy’s greatest savings include booking an all-inclusive sevennight holiday to Ibiza for just over £300, decorating her bathroom for £8.85 and saving £120 a week on food! The ex-medic said she started by looking at her food bill which came to

PAIGE WILLIAMS

around £150 a week: “I was shocked and realised it was down to us not planning meals and further wasting money by buying what we fancied rather than what was on offer. I started by buying food in multibuys and freezing it.” “I also googled voucher codes for products and supermarkets and printed them to use at the checkout. By doing this I got our food bill down to £30 a week.” Maddy also signed up to a variety of different online groups and recommends Extreme Couponing. “Another one is Ten Ways to Have More Money as a Student without Working. People give each other lots of advice on brands which have good savings that month or websites with the best vouchers — it’s amazing how much is out there”. It looks like even the tightest of us could learn a trick or two from Maddy! Extreme Couponing here I come!

STUDENT

DEALS DANIEL ROBBINS

Freshers, you will soon learn that an NUS card is your best friend (if you don’t already know). If you haven’t got one then it is a must over the first couple of weeks and here are three reasons why.

If those first few weeks are too stressful for you, why not go on a holiday? Even better why not get £65 off already discounted holidays? Well by using your NUS card at Student Universe you can do just that and travel to places such as Paris, New York or Sydney. What could be better?

If you are looking for something closer to home, who doesn’t love money off food, and pizza in particular? Well with your card you can get a 40% discount off your food and drink at Pizza Hut all day Monday and Tuesday.

Finally, a little more boring than the other two but you have to stock up on the essentials. That’s why the 12.5% discount you get at Rymans stationery will be vital for all students, whether it be for note cards or anything else, this is one that will come in handy all the time.

Dragon’s Den is an iconic show. Whether you know all the Dragons off by heart or just watch the show thinking of crazy ideas you could pitch, it is a programme that most would know a lot about. However, the stories of the people sat in the chairs opposite are often not as well known. Take Peter Jones for example. His journey is definitely one worth following. An avid tennis player, he would help a coach at his local school teach tennis whilst he was on his summer breaks. After four years, he decided it was his time to turn coach, opening his own academy at the age of 16 showing his first move from student to mentor. Like any businessman he has had his lows, but where he is now is certainly not one of them. Employing more than 1,000 people and generating sales of more than £250 million in the companies he has interest in, the Dragon’s Den show is just the start of the array of talents Jones has. When he isn’t focusing on his business ventures, he is ensuring that a further line of entrepreneurs follow him into the field. With Peter Jones Enterprise Academy’s in Amsterdam and Manchester, Jones is backing up his myth that entrepreneurs are born and not made. The example of his success story is no better example and don’t expect him to be falling away at any point soon.

Dragon’s Den show is just the start of the array of talents Jones has.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

How To Spend Less on a Night Out

PAIGE WILLIAMS

NIGHTS OUT are expensive but they also come with the territory of being a university student so The University Paper has compiled a list of things you can do to save a few more pounds of your student loan. Drink at home before you go to the club. You can get a 70cl bottle of vodka for a tenner at Tesco. Yes, it might look and taste a bit like paint stripper, but student nights out aren’t about fancy drinks and hor d’oeuvres – they’re about getting drunk enough to tolerate the grungy dive that you plan on visiting later in the night. Don’t buy food on the way home. I know you usually crave carbs on your walk home, but food joints are risky places if you’re trying to save money. You go in with the intention to buy chips for a couple of quid and end up with a seven pound doner kebab which is bigger than your own head. You’re better off raiding the supermarket before you go out so you can commit a much cheaper carbocide when you return home. And you don’t have to sit on a cold bench trying to avoid eye contact with the homeless and shooing seagulls as you eat (or maybe you do, I don’t know how unlucky you were with your accommodation). Wear the same outfit you wore last time. Honestly, it’s fine. You’re going to get booze/food/sick (not necessarily your own or in that order) on it anyway, so why shell out for a nice new outfit that will just get ruined? The student population is very forgiving and if that hipster kid in your seminar can wear the same too-big jumper every week then you can go out wearing that top again (just make sure you wash it first).

Top Student Bank DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

ONE OF THE HOT topics before you join a University is what bank account to go with. Rather than looking at the freebies a bank might offer, the account with the largest interest free overdraft is where you should first look. Overdrafts are part and parcel of being a student and should be the main factor when you are choosing a bank. So which is the best bank to choose?

» SANTANDER - Best known for their adverts involved sports stars such as Jenson Button, Jessica Ennis and Rory McIlroy, Santander offer one of the

best value student accounts. With a 0% overdraft of up to £1,500 and an added incentive of a four year 16-25 railcard, they are one of the first you should be looking at.

» HSBC - One of the highest overdrafts advertised plus some tasty incentives, HSBC is next in the pecking order. With a 0% overdraft of up to £3,000 dependent on credit score and a free £60 Amazon voucher upon sign up, they run Santander a close second in terms of value. They also don’t allow you spend beyond your arranged overdraft, the only student account that does this

which means you don’t risk huge overdrawn charges. Bonus!

» THE CO-OPERATIVE - Despite having their well aired problems, the Co-Operative bank do offer a good student account. They have up to a £2,000 interest free overdraft. not as high as some others, but more students have said that they get close to the full amount by the time they have finished. No freebies to talk of but remember it is all about the overdraft.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

TOP

STUDENT CHEF

EASY MEALS

FAJITAS

OMELETTE

FILLED JACKET POTATO

BURGERS

TOAD IN THE HOLE

With money tighter than ever before for the British student, it might not be such a bad idea for the old overdraft if you start making your own home meals and steer clear of the fast food and microwave meals. Here are 5 great ideas to get you started. They are all ludicrously easy to make, none of them require special equipment or training, and they may just save you some money!

● Chop an onion, red pepper and two chicken breasts and chop in to thin strips. ● Put together in a bowl with one teaspoon of paprika and some salt and pepper. ● Make your homemade salsa. After leaving to marinade for a few minutes, cook in a pre-heated pan for about 10 minutes. ● Warm your flour tortillas in the microwave. ● Serve with your home-made salsa, grated cheddar, sour cream and guacamole (you could even make your own homemade guacamole!)

● Mix two eggs with two tablespoons of milk ● Add some salt and pepper for flavouring. ● Heat some butter in a frying pan and add the egg mixture. ● After one minute, stir and reduce heat. ● Sprinkle your chosen ingredients (e.g. bacon, peppers,onions) onto the surface and wait for the omelette to set underneath. ● Sprinkle with cheese and then cook for two to three minutes. ● Then simply fold in half and serve.

● Wash the potato and prick with a fork. ● Rub salt evenly on the potato. ● Place in a pre-heated oven at 220C and cook for about 45 minutes until the potato skin is crisp. ● Cut open and accompany with your filling of choice e.g. Cheese, beans, coleslaw, salad, sour cream, chilli con carne, whatever you can get your hands on basically!

● Mix some minced beef (500g) in to a bowl with some salt and pepper with your hands or a spoon ● Dice a small onion and tip into a bowl alongside one egg. ● Roll the mixture into four balls and flatten to make burger-shaped patties. ● Put on a plate and cover and leave in the fridge to firm up for about 30 minutes. ● Cooking for about 15 mins Serve in a seeded bun with salad and any toppings that you desire! E.g. Cheese, bacon, the list is endless…

● Tip 115g plain flour into a mixing bowl. Add salt and pepper. ● Slowly add three eggs and 285ml milk, whisking as you go to create a smooth batter. ● Put some oil into a baking tin and place in the oven at its highest temperature. ● Add eight sausages and cook until lightly golden. ● Pour batter over the sausages & put back in the oven. Remove from the oven when the batter has risen and is golden and crisp. ● Serve with veg & onion gravy for the perfect Sunday lunch!

Now put down the Old El Paso packets and try this traditional homemade recipe. It is so easy and you can even control your spice levels by doing it home made. This recipe is for two:

Always a winner and its healthy! An omelette is quick and easy and can be tailored specifically to your tastes. Simply follow these instructions and you’re well on your way to a healthy diet:

Jacket potatoes are extremely easy but so many people manage to mess this one up. We would recommend waiting for the perfect jacket potato by cooking it in the oven...

We love burgers! Why go out and spend £12 each when you make your own gourmet burgers at home with all the trimmings and added extras. This recipe will serve four people:

Toad in the hole has to be one of the best dishes Britain has created! Get your housemates together and cook this one to feed four!

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

World’s Most Expensive Food and Drink PAIGE WILLIAMS

The Top Five Strangest Foods PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE: SHUTtERSTOCK

lot more sinister… Fun fact: Gordon Ramsey received a number of complaints when he ate puffin heart on his show, The F Word. How heartless.

PICTURE: SHUTtERSTOCK

A-PING,

Kopi Luwak,

Strawberries Arnaud

Kopi Luwak, otherwise known as “cat poo coffee” (yes, you read that correctly) is the most expensive coffee in the world at £18 a cup. It’s made by collecting beans from the droppings of a cat-like creature called a civet. Tasty! Yet somehow I can’t see girls Instagramming their #catpoocoffee from Starbucks anytime soon.

Arnaud’s is a restaurant in New Orleans that first gained notoriety for its £850,000 dessert but that dessert is now worth a jaw-dropping £2.4 million! This is because the original 4.71 carat ring that used to accompany the strawberries served in a marinade of port has been replaced by a 7.09 carat pink diamond. The co-owner of Arnaud’s commented that “needless to say, it is our worst selling dessert.”

INDONESIA, £240/LBS

Martini,

NEW YORK, £6070 What’s the best way to wash down some of the most expensive food in the world? With a £6070 martini, of course! How do you like yours? Shaken? Stirred? How about with a diamond? The Algonquin Hotel in New York works with an inhouse jeweller to create a customisable diamond which is placed in the martini. James Bond, eat your heart out!

NEW ORLEANS, £2.4 MILLION

Hot dog,

NEW YORK, £1,400 A restaurant in New York, 230 Fifth, put all hot dog vans to shame when it released its £1,400 creation made out of 60-day dry-aged wagyu (Japanese cow) and topped with Vidalia onions caramelized in Dom Perignon, sauerkraut braised in Cristal, and caviar.

FUGU,

JAPAN - Fugu is Japanese for poisonous sea-devil. Only kidding, it means pufferfish, but it can be lethal if its toxic parts are not removed correctly. Only highly trained chefs are allowed to handle them and over twenty people have died in Japan after eating the fish since 2000. Seafood with a sprinkling of possible death? Sounds delicious.

CAMBODIA Fried tarantula. People in Cambodia fry tarantulas and then actually eat them. They can be barbecued, grilled, fried or served on a stick. Looks like spiders have so much more versatility than just being washed down the plughole! Apparently they became popular during food shortages under the Khmer Rouge regime but seem to have stuck around. Why, Cambodia? Just - why?

PUFFIN HEART,

YAK PENIS,

CHINA It’s also known as “Dragon in the Flame of Desire” and if that’s not a great name for a penis then I don’t know what is. Many Chinese believe it is also good for your health. Yum!

ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS,

US Testicles of a bull. In the good old US of A gnawing on some poor creature’s gonads is not just reserved for the Z-List celebrities exiled to the Amazon for entertainment purposes. The Yanks deep-fry them and they are often found at festivals. Maybe they should introduce them at Glasto. A guy wearing a bandana, playing Wonderwall and munching on a bull’s dangly bits – I can see it now.

ICELAND Us Brits are supposed to have the heart of a lion. Well, in Iceland they apparently have hearts of puffins – and they eat them. The books of my childhood suddenly seem a

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OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Who Said What? They misunderestimated me.

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman

I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish and I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

I wouldn’t run for president. I wouldn’t want to move to a smaller house

I’ve always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I’d kill myself if I was that fat”.

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do

ASK ALICE

(WE DON’T KNOW ANYONE CALLED ALICE, BUT IT SOUNDED BETTER THAN ALAN)

I’m obsessed with this girl on my course. We’ve spent a lot of time together this summer and last week I finally plucked up the courage to ask her on a date. We were both down the local drinking and laughing too much, when I wet myself. I don’t know if she noticed as I pretended to spill a drink over myself to cover it up, but now I’m too embarrassed to even text her. What do I do? George, Exeter

If everybody in the world dropped out of school we would have a much more intelligent society

MATCH THE QUOTE TO THE CELEB... 1. George Bush 2. Arnold Schwarzenegger 3. Gwyneth Paltrow 4. Bono

AGONY AUNT :

5. Christina Aguilera 6. Britney Spears 7. Ronald Reagan 8. Elizabeth Hurley 9. Jaden Smith

That was quick thinking there George. I’m not saying your girl is a gossip but if she had noticed you would probably be the talk of the town. So don’t be embarrassed and ask her out on a second date, but do us all a favour and take her somewhere other than the boozer.

I prefer Facebook chat to clubbing and I’ve never been one of the “popular girls”. I’ve heard freshers is full on and

I’m worried that it is going to be like a playground popularity contest all over again. I can’t wait for it to be over. Rebecca, Warwick Freshers will be one of the best weeks of your first term, not because of beer pong or whatever else you have heard goes on… but for meeting people who have just descended on your campus from all over the world. And do you know what? They won’t know anyone either and will be just as nervous, even if they don’t show it. So don’t hide behind the glow of your computer screen, go to as much as possible, and check out the societies your Students’ Union has on offer.

I’m starting university in just a couple of weeks but my loan hasn’t even come through yet. And did I mention I am going to be homeless? You see, I got accepted into university through clear-

ing so was not able to apply for halls of residence in time and my university are saying there is nothing that can be done. Help? Homeless, London Whatever you do, don’t suffer in silence your Student Union are there to support you whatever happens during your time at university. You should also enquire about hardship funding for students experiencing exceptional circumstances. So take a trip to your SU to begin with. Also, easier said than done but don’t panic, there are alternatives to university halls and you can still have a great first year. First of all check out private halls, this is student accommodation but it is not university owned. There are a number of these in London such as Urbannest and Unite however the rent is likely to be more expensive as they are not subsidised. You can also look at listings on websites such as www.studentspareroom.co.uk for rooms going in houses with other students.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Aries

21 MARCH - 20 APRIL Your mood can seem intense early on this month with a desire to get organized and give 100% in the process. However, a lighter and brighter mood shines through as Mars powers into Sagittarius, highlighting options for adventure and travel. Later, the Libra New Moon on September the 23rd is perfect for a fresh start as far as relationships are concerned.

Taurus

21 APRIL - 21 MAY The focus on everyday interaction intensifies. The chances are there can also be positive news as you’ll be keen to resolve an ongoing issue with renewed determination. It’s time to make a few changes. Later in the month there’s a shift towards health and wellness buoyed by the New Moon, making this an excellent time to start a new diet or exercise regime.

Gemini 22 MAY - 21 JUNE

Romantic opportunities can shine through, along with a heightened awareness of your creative potential. Plus you might also find yourself in the spotlight around the time of the Full Moon on September 8th, with an opportunity to show your best face to the world. Later, as Venus glides into Libra, a fun liaison may also take on a sultrier vibe.

Cancer 22 JUNE - 23 JULY

Though busy, you might enjoy some down time, with romance and pleasure options hopefully tempting you away from any chores. An existing relationship could become pleasantly passionate too. A sunnier mood showing up from midmonth is likely to entice you out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you’ll spruce up your home with a new look.

Leo

24 JULY - 23 AUGUST A positive and upbeat mood can encourage you to tackle an issue that’s been plaguing you for far too long. The first two weeks of September can see you show a determination to slice through problems and find much-needed solutions. The New Moon on the 23rd can be helpful if you’re taking a study course or want to collaborate on a new idea or project.

Virgo

24 AUGUST - 23 SEPTEMBER You’re likely to be in your element for much of the month and ready to forge ahead with personal plans and goals. The Full Moon on September 8th might bring feelings out into the open regarding a relationship glitch, but if so try not to overreact. With Mercury edging into Scorpio late in the month, you can find yourself on a mission to hunt out the ‘truth’ of situations.

Libra

Sagittarius

23 NOVEMBER - 21 DECEMBER Pushing ahead with ambitious plans can boost your chances of success, even if you only take small steps to begin with. Little and often may ensure steady progress this month. Plus the ability to let go of hurtful past experiences can infuse you with new, vibrant energy. Finally, energies of Mars arriving on the 13th are sure to give you added pizzazz.

Capricorn

22 DECEMBER - 20 JANUARY There’s likely to be a lot going on socially and this may well increase your enjoyment levels, potentially offering a chance to mix and mingle with some influential faces. However, go easy around the Full Moon on September the 8th as confusion could mar important interactions. With Venus gliding into Libra as the month draws to a close, a key relationship can help you.

Aquarius

24 SEPTEMBER - 23 OCTOBER You may be motivated to take action regarding your financial affairs, only this time you’ll want to grapple with things once and for all. With Mars rocketing into Sagittarius on the 13th you may feel happier and more at peace with the world. Finally, the New Moon in your sign on September 23rd can help you to kick-start important goals or galvanise any existing strands.

21 JANUARY - 19 FEBRUARY Relationships in general can be at the heart of developments, as well as being fun and supportive and bringing added pleasures into your life. You can also be motivated to explore new options and expand your horizons by travelling, studying or moving in new circles. With your social life perking up, look for an opportunity to connect with new people.

Scorpio 24 OCTOBER - 22 NOVEMBER

20 FEBRUARY - 20 MARCH The Full Moon in your sign on September the 8th is likely to heighten feelings but also trigger a greater desire to discuss any issues. However, while this might be helpful with someone you trust, avoid being too honest with someone you don’t know well. Later in the month you may want to put energy into a plan that has potential but try to avoid promising more than you can deliver.

A sense of empowerment can help you power through obstacles and obtain your desired outcomes. Yet it’s not all work as social opportunities are likely to be plentiful too. Later in the month you could find yourself in a phase in which you’ll benefit from relaxing and recharging your batteries whenever you have the opportunity

MENTAL AGILITY

HORRORSCOPES

Pisces

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OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Should you Work Part Time at Uni?

HABITS YOU

SHOULD TAKE

TO WORK

WITH YOU Getting into good working habits whilst at Uni is a good way to prepare for entering the ‘Real World’. There are lots of little things that you can do now whilst still studying which will help you adapt and succeed at whatever career you pursue, here are a couple…

From bar work to waitressing; from volunteering roles to retail posts - the question of whether you should work part time at university is one only you can answer and needing the money (or not!) isn’t always the deciding factor. Here are our top reasons for taking on a part time role alongside your studies: YOU WANT TO BE SOCIAL Whilst university is no doubt one of the most sociable environments you’ll encounter, having a work team to count amongst your friends is a great feeling. Did someone say “after work drinks”?

YOU HAVE SPARE TIME Certain degrees require only a few hours of lecture and seminar attendance per week. If you’re keeping up with coursework but still have time to spare, why not put it to good use and take on a new job? Hours can be flexible to fit in with study schedules, or it may be the case that you’d prefer to plan your weekends around a set Friday night shift.

YOU WANT TO ENHANCE YOUR CV If you’re smart about it you can tailor your work experience to fit in with your degree. Whilst there may not be a weekend job in biomechanics, if you’re into fashion – why not take a role in a department store? If you’re learning about leisure and tourism, a travel agent’s would be a great place to gain some relevant experience and supplement your degree.

BE TIDY – Tidiness isn’t the reserve of those with too much spare time, it is an indicator of an organised mind. Reduce the clutter on your desk and you will not only have a nicer environment, but you will find things much easier! You wouldn’t want your future boss to think you were messy would you!

MAKE LISTS & PRIORITISE – Lists aren’t restricted to shopping, Christmas and things to do before you die. Start making lists – personal and work ones – then get cracking once you have prioritised the important tasks. Once complete, tick it off and feel like you have accomplished something. Businesses use tasking software such as Basecamp and even Outlook to keep track of projects – use them now and you will find integrating them into your job much easier.

CV-Library can offer numerous part time job opportunities and further learning courses (many for free) across the UK. Register for free today and get searching to find the perfect role for you.

PROFESSIONAL INSIGHT :

How to Make Life Easier for the ‘Future You’

‘The future,’ may well be the last thing on your mind when you’ve just started university, however, it’s never too early to start thinking about how you can make life easier for the ‘future you’! For graduates, standing out from the crowd is important, and if you’ve spent the last three years adding worthwhile work experience and life skills to your repertoire, you stand a much greater chance of landing that dream job. Here are CV-Library’s top suggestions for improving your CV as you go along:

TAKE A PART TIME JOB Employers love a hard worker, and by that we don’t mean someone who never hits pause or goes out to play. If you show willing to use some of your spare time for working instead of partying, this will greatly improve your employability later on. Taking a part time role at weekends or during the times you’re not in lectures could make all that difference for your post-university job applications.

LEARN FROM YOUR MENTORS Most universities will assign mentors to help students along with their degrees and coursework. Attend your meetings- listen to their opinions and learn what you can. Most importantly – if you can – bond with them. When you graduate and find yourself looking for a full time role, you’ll be happy to have a

go-to referee to vouch for your personality and attitude. Plus, if you’re keen to get into academia or their field of expertise; their insights and experience could prove invaluable.

MAKE THE MOST OF THE OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE TO YOU Hiring managers love seeing evidence of someone who is willing to put their all into making the most of the opportunities available to them. Whether you volunteer as a student brand ambassador, take part in the student elections or even an active role in a uni sports team, everything you can do to show an interest in personal development will mean bonus points for you later on in life. Take it from us - don’t just coast along at university; grab every opportunity you’re given with both hands. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

OPPORTUNITIES NATIONAL

BRISTOL

Graduate Graduate Recruitment Sales Consultant Executive

Sales

Reprasentative

Sales Associate

(permanent)

£20000 - £40000/annum +£40K + Benefits London Job ID: 20a1421118

£25000/annum

Bristol

Manchester Job ID: 201421283

Commission-based Job ID: 118445041

Market Rates Job ID: 201410709

You would be recruiting into both contract and permanent positions. Initially you will start in a resourcing role which will support a substantial part of your training. This Graduate role will eventually see you placed in a 360 Recruitment Consultant role in a fast-paced and lucrative industry. You will be developing new business, increasing your candidate network, attending meetings with clients, interviewing candidates and be writing and posting professional job adverts.

Civil engineering or environmental science graduates are required for this leading British manufacturer. Based within the manufacturing facility you will report into the Director of Business Development and help manage major projects with local authorities, utilities providers and associated contractors. Dealing with engineers, you will assist with enquiries, produce quotes and close business.

Become an Independent Sales Representative. You must be over the age of 18 for this role. A fantastic opportunity has arisen in the Bristol area for an Independent Sales Representative. Working in your local neighbourhood, no transport is required. This role is ideal as the flexible hours means it can fit around a busy student lifestyle.

This firm are looking for people who work hard to develop outstanding product knowledge and real jewellery expertise that they can share with their customers. As a committed and dedicated member of the team, you’ll play a key role in helping the store to maintain performance and meet sales targets.

Graduate Software Developer

Graduate Engineer

Telesales Executive

£20000 - £25000/annum

Southampton Job ID: 201419012

Leeds Job ID: 201403764

A large multinational company is looking for a number of Graduate Java Developers in the Southampton area. Graduate Developers must be passionate about software development. You will ideally have some skills with Java, but any coding experience with C, C++ or C# will also be considered. The position will be highly varied and will include designing, writing and testing highquality code as you work alongside experienced developers.

This multi-disciplinary practice operates Worldwide and deals with buildings, transport, environment and energy to an award-winning standard. You will have the chance to work on a fantastic range of projects where you will be designing systems for hospitals, data centres, banks, offices, schools. You would have just finished a degree course in building services or are currently in your final year able for day release.

(permanent)

Electrical Design

(permanent)

(part-time)

Charity Fundraisers (part-time)

Bristol £7.00-£8.50/hour + Commission Job ID: 201401351

Bristol

This firm is looking for business to client (B2C) telesales executives to join their team. This exciting position is available to any level of candidate who has had some experience in sales; in particular over the phone. Key responsibilities include: cold calling prospects to sell subscriptions, monitoring and controlling a sales pipeline, and building rapport with prospects. This role would suit target driven, self-motivated candidates.

A Bristol based fundraising firm require door to door fundraisers to engage with the public and inspire them to start making direct debit donations. They are looking for passionate people who are resilient, persistent and keen to make a difference and help raise money for household name charities. They provide excellent training and development.

£7/hour commission Job ID: 201392838

To find out more and apply for these jobs please visit www.cv-library.co.uk

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SPECIAL

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

ACCOMMODATION

SURVIVING

WALTER BAYLISS

PHOTO CREDIT: WALTER BAYLISS

DESPITE THE FACT THAT EVERYONE THINKS THEY HAVE THE PERFECT HOUSEMATES AT THE BEGINNING OF SECOND YEAR, THEY WILL ALMOST ALWAYS HAVE FALLEN INTO ONE OF THESE SIX CATEGORIES BY MAY.

R O Bills are complicated and boring. To help you avoid some of the most common problems, we have put together the top 4 problems to avoid.

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The most frequent problem within shared houses, especially around the time before student loans come in. If someone doesn’t pay their share of the bills, that shortfall will need to be made up by the rest of the house and this can affect credit-ratings .

THE SOFA WARMER

Somehow you will always find yourself cleaning their plates, while the living room is buried under rubbish they’ve hoarded.

They are always delighted to see you come home from a long day at the library, as their day has usually consisted of a hazy mixture of Border Force, takeaways, pints, and a hefty amount of reggae to keep them awake. Nonetheless, they are an invaluable member of the group.

THE MOANER They can direct abuse at any of the other five categories. It’s best to just leave them in peace.

THE ONE WHO EATS ALL YOUR FOOD They unnervingly watch your every mouthful at mealtimes, and as soon as you start to slow down they pounce on the leftovers. They are always be to blame for missing food.

THE (UN)FRIENDLY GHOST They are rarely seen and keep to themselves.

THE ONE WHO ALWAYS GOES OUT Never at lectures, always dragging you to places you never want to go. Your worst best friend.

Walking into Badock halls of residence for the first time was like walking into an exclusive house party. Home to the edgy boys and girls of Bristol, Badock is a world where Nike’s, dungarees, hair scrunchies and house music displace any other former fashions and interests. Do not walk through Badock in your Jack Wills gilet as you’ll only find yourself feeling a little left out. You will soon find that being “edgy” by wearing vintage clothes and, attempting to stand out, ironically, is the only way to blend in. Truly appreciating house music is one of the cornerstones of being edgy and, in Badock, this is a must. As you walk through the halls you are surrounded by the sounds of Badock’s resident DJs booming music as they practise for their next set at Basement 45 the following week. This means, of course, that you must not be caught listening to Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift, even if they are your favourite artists. Quickly discard these tastes and replace them for deep house, drum and bass, even reggae, and you will find Badock to be a very accommodating place.

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OSCAR THE GROUCH

BADOCK (BRISTOL)

So, you’ve arrived. Say goodbye to a full night’s sleep, your Mum’s Sunday roast, and a mould free kitchen. Say hello to flat parties, super noodles and Tesco’s own vodka. Welcome to Marketgate, not to be confused with the rather plush and sexy red number, Phoenix Court. Never fear, Marketgate is that gloomy looking place next door. At Marketgate, being unique is the new way to blend in. Hipsters, hippies and house music will become the norm. It’s time to give up your secret obsession with Britney and Will.i.am, or you will be forced to the outskirts of the Marketgate society. Be prepared to take a trip back in time, to when Will Smith was the Fresh Prince of a town called Bel-Air and bucket hats were acceptable attire. If you like Jack Wills then you can forget this place, it should also be avoided if your name is Mandy or Charlie, for you will be confused for, erm, other things… Most halls are filled with the joys of dressing up - but the kids at Marketgate would rather attend an underground house night at Basement 45. The best thing about Marketgate is that it is a creative hub and the people there are always pretty awesome.

HOUSEMATES THAT EVERYONE HAS

MARKETGATE (UWE)

By ELIZABETH PENNY & OLIVIA HAINS

PHOTO CREDIT: IELIZABETH PENNY

HALLS

Bristol will soon be alive with the pitter-patter of tiny fresher’s, but what can our newest residents expect of their communal abodes?

BILLS END UP SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER THAN EXPECTED AND PEOPLE REFUSE TO PAY

If you get an unexpected bill, someone can refuse to pay, claiming that they were careful, creating arguments, stress and hassle which can destroy friendships and affect your studies. Others may be forced to cover the shortfall or credit-ratings will be affected.

SIGNING UP TO THE WRONG TARIFF WHICH CAN BE COSTLY

Tariffs across the various utilities range from 9 months to 18 months and so it is crucial to choose the one that fits with your housing contract. Students may be unaware their usage is high, meaning they go over their energy allowance. This can be costly as the unit

rate outside the allocated amount is higher to reflect the over use (this is similar to the charges if you go over your phone contract’s allowance). To avoid these problems, use a service that does your bills for you, such as DividaBill. Simply sign up to the service and they’ll do the rest of the work for you all year so you don’t have to worry and know that your bills are sorted.

ARGUMENTS OVER WHEN TO PUT THE HEATING ON AND LENGTH OF SHOWERS

Concern about high costs of bills may mean certain housemates object to turning on the heating during winter or create confrontation over what they perceive to be long showers.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

e t what t of

Guide to your student areas ELIZABETH PENNY

PHOTO CREDIT: ELIZABETH PENNY

Where should you live? It’s a seriously tough question and there is a lot to weigh up. It’s always daunting thinking about who you’re going to end up living with next year, but it’s wise to secure a house before Christmas. This way, you should secure a great house and have enough time to see your current flatmates ‘fresher selves’ melt away to reveal their true identities. Here are a few of the pros and cons of each of the student areas found in Bristol in order to help you make your own decision as to where you might want to live. CITY CENTRE: You will have all of the splendour of living in the city, being close to the clubs, pubs, shops and restaurants, but you’ll have to pay the price. Although some of Bristol’s precincts are near, you’re not going to be particularly close to any student campus if you’re at UWE, so it really depends on how much you value being in the thick of it.

PARK STREET/CLIFTON. Everyone knows that this is the posh bit and let’s face it, it’s lovely. You have the park from Skins, Bristol Zoo, the Wills Memorial Building and the Suspension Bridge. Although it boasts a vibrant nightlife and convenient location, all of this beauty, culture and convenience comes at a price.

BEDMINSTER. Although it has had a sour reputation in the past, Bedminster is up and coming. North Street is a bit like a mini Gloucester Road. There isn’t quite as much going on, but more than enough to keep you entertained. Despite being home to quite a few students, the population of Bedminster is mostly made up of families - not exactly a party town.

UNIVERSITY TOP 5’S:

ESSENTIALS FOR LIVING ALONE

ADAM STEAD

1 2 3 4

REDLAND. Redland is a stone’s throw from Clifton but will be around 25% cheaper - just because it’s far quieter. But don’t fret, there will still be house parties going on, it’s just whether you can catch wind of them. GLOUCESTER ROAD. There isn’t quite as much going on, but more than enough to keep you entertained. Despite being home to quite a few students, the population of Bedminster is mostly made up of families - not exactly a party town. STOKES CROFT/GLOUCESTER ROAD. Home of the hippies and a party town that diverts from the mainstream. It may not look as polished as Clifton, but it has a whole new charm of its own that isn’t about looks - it’s about culture. Filled with unique small businesses that boom in this supportive, socialist environment, this is the ultimate student area. There is always a party to be found, and always something to do.

Emily Dickinson lived alone and she was okay (sort of).

PHOTO CREDIT: ADAM STEAD

A hockey stick or club to wield when you hear noises in the dark. A whole lot of money. Supernoodles (bulk-buy this) Toilet Paper.

A scarecrow or straw man of some kind to remind you of other people. A blow-up doll is fine but due to the stigma around sex work, many people will treat a blow-up doll rudely, or even ignore him/her altogether. One thing to note is DO NOT - under any circumstances - take a book of spooky stories with you.

MUM CAN’T HELP YOU NOW

OLIVIA HAINS

PHOTO CREDIT: OLIVIA HAINS

Living away from home initially takes some getting used to. Inevitably, we take the luxuries of living at home for granted until suddenly university plunges you into a new domestic world that of washing machines, dishwashing and hoovering. From living at home with parents in a haven of perfect cleanliness, it is always a difficult adjustment for many to learn how to wash up their dishes after them. It may be acceptable for some to live in a house soiled with dirty dishes, over-flowing ash trays and rubbish bins, but after a while, no matter how messy you may be there always comes a time when a clean-up is necessary. The marigolds come on and you find yourself resembling your parents more than you ever thought you would. Undertaking the role of the nagging parent, you find yourself complaining about your housemates’ ‘filthy habits’. The washing machine becomes another new device that must be conquered. The pile of clothes in your room, that at home were washed for you, piles higher and higher as your wardrobe becomes thinner and thinner. Soon enough, it is time to wash those dirty clothes and sheets but the worst part is always the drying process which follows. Your university home begins to resemble a second hand clothes shop as the furniture becomes enveloped by your washing, draped from every object in thehouse. Though there are always stories of those who are privileged enough to employ a cleaner at their university home, these cases are rare and for the most of us, university life forces us to change our filthy habits. After a while, our undiscovered domestic sides shine through as we learn, step by step, how to look after ourselves properly and the homes that we live in.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

SPORT

WHICH team should you join?

MEGAN DAVIES

In your friendship group you are… a) b) c) d)

The lad/ladette The adventurous one The chilled one The competitive one

What is the most important thing about playing sport? a) b) c) d)

An argument starts about your flat getting increasingly messy. What do you do? a)

The socials Getting out of your comfort zone Having a laugh Beating your PB

c) d)

If you were an animal what would you be?

Get the beers in, watch the game and start some chants You don’t spend enough time there to get involved You keep quiet as you made the mess Make a cleaning rota

a) b) c) d)

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MOSTLY B’s: SKYDIVING

You love your sport. You train often and the ethos of “work hard, play hard” is key to any good ruggers team. Nothing comes between you, your fellow lads or ladies & your drunken chants and antics.

You’re an adrenaline junkie who can’t be tamed. Skydiving isn’t the most traditional of university sports, but conformity has never really been your bag anyway.

TO WATCH OUT FOR PAIGE WILLIAMS

PHOTO CREDIT: PAIGE WILLIAMS

Bristol: Men’s Waterpolo Team

THE RESULTS

MOSTLY A’s RUGBY

TEAMS

MOSTLY C’s: INTRAMURAL FOOTBALL

MOSTLY D’s: ATHLETICS/ CROSS COUNTRY

Intramural sport is where you play within your university - perhaps against another hall of residence – and is pretty casual. If you want a sociable way to keep fit then this is for you.

You’re focused, fit and not here to make friends. Athletics can be a solitary sport but that doesn’t bother you – you’re just here to beat your personal best!

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Bristol’s Men’s Waterpolo team is the university’s most successful sports team to date. They have been BUCS champions the past three years running and they also won the ever-soimportant Varsity match against UWE. Not too shabby! The team has also produced a member of the GB team, Andrew Crawford, who was also part of the England team that won gold in the Commonwealth Water Polo Championships. If you would like to get involved this year then check out The Swimming and Water Polo Club’s Facebook at www.facebook.com/ubswpc where you can find all the information you need.

Call: 0117 973 3143 Mon - Sat 9.00am - 5.30pm closed Sunday & Bank holidays

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UWE’s Squash club was voted UWE’s Best Sports Club in 2012 and 2014 and are current UWE BUCS points record holders. The Women’s Firsts were last year’s Trophy champions whilst the Men’s Firsts were Championship semi-finalists. The rest of the men’s teams were also undefeated champions in their respective leagues and the Men’s Seconds won the Conference cup! The team has also produced current world number three, Mohamed El Shorbagy. The club is running a free “Watch it! Try it!” session for freshers on 22nd September at 2.10pm and 24th September at 12.10pm at the Centre for Sport.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

SPORT

TOP SPORTS SOCIETIES

RYVITA KHAN & BRIAN MORRISON

BRISTOL I am an avid sportsperson at Bristol. Sports are very important, and I have tried nearly all fifty-three of the sports clubs available to me in the last year. Here is a selection which I believe are the best to join. This is partly because of their relentless and determined effort to ‘be the best’ - as is the mantra with so many sports – and partly because of their great socials. Also, for me, they straddle the best combination of fitness and enjoyment. ORIENTEERING. Orienteering is head and shoulders above many of the other sports clubs. It requires a combination of intelligence and physical fitness – not for those who skip lectures and would rather stay in bed! Orienteering also often go on trips away to other parts of the country, such as the Lake District, which has been renowned for its beauty ever since it was invented by Wordsworth. There are also competitions here with other Universities’ orienteering teams, such as Oxford. I should have been accepted by Oxford if it wasn’t for a series of poor decisions by their dean of admissions, so this is an excellent way to demonstrate that you are brighter, fitter and more capable at map reading than your would-be self. KORFBALL. I signed up for Korfball because I didn’t know what Korfball was. To be honest, I still don’t know what it is. The gameplay is very rich - it is a mixture of netball and basketball. Personally, since I don’t like being part of a team, my experience with it was short

UWE

lived (I went to two sessions). However, my more team-spirited friend who signed up with me had a long and valuable relationship with korfball before she left university. A bonus of the team is that they are also travelling to Amsterdam this year. JU JITSU. I thought Ju Jitsu would be a valuable experience for me, because in the current climate it is a very useful skill for a young woman to be able to defend herself. I wasn’t sure which martial art was technically the best, and, despite a fruitless exchange of emails, I found that the club captains of the various martial arts clubs were not prepared to fight each other to find out, I settled on Ju Jitsu for timetable reasons. But it was fortuitous – I am now a very formidable enemy in the field of defence, and only the most malignant lawbreaker would want to fight me.

TOP PICK

The University of Bristol Snowsports Club is also a brilliant team to join. It’s the largest uni ski and snowboard club in the country and the biggest society at Bristol with over 1500 members, which means the best deals, biggest trips and maddest socials going! Bonuses include free pizza at their weekly social and a massive Easter trip – last year they went to Val Thorens. The huge range of sports societies at the University of Bristol means you’re bound to find something to suit you!

“You are what you do”. This is an important phrase to bear in mind when choosing sport if any you want to sign up for at university. Choose your sports based on who you are and who you want to be. If you join sky diving you will be an adrenaline junkie, kickboxing you’ll be a martial artist, hockey a team player or athletics an all-round beast. On the other hand if you do nothing... There are many reasons to take up sport at university; they are some of the most sociable society’s on campus. Any team sport is almost guaranteed to be good fun and allow you to meet new people and make tight friends. The notorious inductions for freshers always provide great entertainment, and Mbargo’s on Wednesday (sports night) is always one of the funniest and horniest of the week, with boys and girls celebrating/drowning their sorrows after their inter-uni varsity matches that afternoon. The sports famous for a great party are lacrosse - often instigated by the notoriously cheeky Megan Bryce, hockey and football, who have joint socials with netball and kickboxing, who have joint socials with the very athletic pole dancers. Keeping in shape is another great reason to take up sport. With the abusive nature of the student lifestyle - drinking a lot and eating a load of rubbish, it is common for guys to become very skinny and get beer paunches and girls to put on a lot of weight. This is the prime of our lives, we may as well

look and feel good right? The best sports for staying in shape are squash (voted the worlds healthiest sport by Forbes magazine), kickboxing, rowing and climbing. The climbing club is very active and go on loads of cool trips and weekends away which are always great fun and give you a sense of achievement afterward. Some seek the thrill of competition - if this is you then it’s simple... just go pick what you are best at, and what you think you can get good at. If you are a competitor you aren’t gonna like losing so pick something with transferable skills to your background. Check out the SU website for a full list of what is available. Whatever you do just try everything you can and then go from there. Sport at uni is one of the most enjoyable things you get to participate in during your three short years here. Don’t squander this opportunity!

TEAMS TO WATCH AT UWE

If you’re more of a watcher than a doer then here is a list of sports you can enjoy without sweating. If it is world class sport you want to watch at UWE, the Mens’ First squash team is the obvious choice. Womens’ hockey is also very entertaining and they play to a tremendously high level. If it’s a laugh you’re after then the UWE Comets cheerleader’s total lack of strength, rhythm and co-ordination never ceases to provide that American pie style cringe-worthy humour.

5 TEAM MATES YOU WILL ALL KNOW PAIGE WILLIAMS

PHOTO CREDIT: PAIGE WILLIAMS

THE SERIOUS ONE This person takes it way too seriously. To them it’s not just a hobby – it’s their calling in life. They live and breathe it, and if you dare murmur “calm down, it’s just a game” in their presence then their stick/bat/boot may end up in a not-so desirable crevice. You can spot the serious one because they usually have a game face that looks like their trying to blow up the opposing team’s brains.

THE TRY-HARD This person tries their absolute best but is just… bad. Usually sat on the bench during important games, the try-hard is the epitome of enthusiasm, but, sadly, not the epitome of talent. You can spot them on the field as they are usually wheezing, tripping over their shoelaces or getting evil eyes from the rest of the team.

THE BULLY This person is a little bit too big for their studded-boots. They knock everyone around in training and talk loudly and obnoxiously in the changing room about their top-notch ball control. No amount of Snickers will stop this bully from being a diva. Just zip it, Shrimpy!

THE DRINKER This person always turns up to training hungover/still drunk. They’re the first one to suggest going for a post-training drink, and also the first one to suffer on the field as their beer sweats are evident before their sporting sweat. The best team player to celebrate with – even if you lose!

THE STAR PLAYER This person is always a name printed in match reviews. They’re the person that clinches the winning point in the last moments of the game so, you should love them and be forever grateful to have them on your team, but, nonetheless, there is a very green part of you that hopes they pull their hamstring one day…

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