EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!
CARTER THE BODY! CARTER THE BODY known for her current role as “Trouble” in the BET Series “All the Queen’s Men.” CARTER’S credits include personal trainer, fitness model, actress, and a highly sought after celebrity influencer!
MAY - JUNE 2023
Loving Our LGBTQIA+ CHILDREN A Mother’s Day Message of Love & Support
+
The Dangers of ANTI-LGBTQ+ L AW S A daunting report everyone should be concerned about!
+
TH
Searching for Solutions to END MY SINGLEHOOD
E
P
RI
DE
ISSUE
VISIT TUVMAG.COM
One man’s quest to finding intimacy and marriage
IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®
This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.
(bik-TAR-vee)
MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY
BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking BIKTARVY. Do not stop taking BIKTARVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months, and may give you HBV medicine.
BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: � Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. � Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that may have been hidden in your body. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY. � Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. � Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. � Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. � The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%). These are not all the possible side effects of BIKTARVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with BIKTARVY.
ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children who weigh at least 55 pounds. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: � dofetilide � rifampin � any other medicines to treat HIV-1
BEFORE TAKING BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: � Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. � Have any other health problems. � Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY. � Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: � Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. � BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other. Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and ask if it is safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.
HOW TO TAKE BIKTARVY Take BIKTARVY 1 time each day with or without food.
GET MORE INFORMATION � This is only a brief summary of important information
about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. � Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5. � If you need help paying for your medicine, visit BIKTARVY.com for program information.
BIKTARVY, the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and KEEP BEING YOU are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. © 2023 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. US-BVYC-0250 04/23
2
| THE UNLEASHED VOICE
#1 PRESCRIBED
HIV TREATMENT* *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 01/20/2023.
ELIAS SWITCHED TO BIKTARVY Listen to REAL STORIES being told by REAL VOICES.
No matter where life takes you,
Because HIV doesn’t change who you are. BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.
Ask your healthcare provider if BIKTARVY is right for you.
Person featured takes BIKTARVY and is compensated by Gilead.
Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and at BIKTARVY.com. THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
3
CON TEN TS
Ad Deadline June 12, 2023
Next Issue to July | August 2023
Carter the Body Photos by: Kelian Scott
08 Cover Story
Carter The Body Celebrity, Actress, & Model 06 | Editor’s Letter Gwendolyn D. Clemons GOT PRIDE?
07 | Self Help Advice Brodderick Roary Remember to Hold Space for You
14 | Spirituality Beth Trouy Planting Seeds with PRIDE
16
Health & Wellness Dr. Umieca Hankton, PhD Prepare the Others
15 | Community News TUV Editors Why Gay Prides Are Necessary
20 | Community News Monick Monell Evolve in Every Season
23 | Entrepreneurship Vontyna Durham Female to Watch in Transportation
12 22 Loving our
LGBTQIA+ Children 4 | CONTENTS
A Mother’s Day Message
Special Contributor David Wyley-Long Searching to End my Singlehood
Shawn M. Clemons Administration/ Fashion Director
Gregory Graphics Layout/Design
Brodderick Roary Special Contributor
Dr. Umieca Hankton Special Contributor
Whitney Johnson Chief Editor
Kyra Bonet St James-Cassadine Transgender Correspondent
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CONTENTS |
5
GOT PRIDE?
Looking back on when I was a little nappy-headed boy. Then my only worry was for Christmas, what would be my toy. Even though sometimes we wouldn’t get a thing, we were happy with the joy the day would bring. I wish those days could come back once more. Why did those days ever have to go? Cause I love them so. Stevie Wonder As we enter June which is officially dedicated as PRIDE
MONTH which is marked with a month-long observance in celebration of the LGBTQIA+ community and their
culture, history, and contributions. Also, this month will be a period where the LGBTQIA+ community will experience unprecedented attacks from all fronts about how we shouldn’t be celebrated!
Let’s keep the main thing, the main thing! PRIDE is
about self and learning to accept and love yourself
unconditionally! When I say love, I mean in the way GOD
loves you and that is with AGAPE LOVE. As I prepared to write this article, I was reminded by the song written by
Stevie Wonder titled “I Wish.” There was a time when I was unphased or influenced by what people thought about
me. I lived in a time and space once where my “little nappy
ON THE COVER: Carter The Body known for her current role as
“Trouble” in the BET Series “All the Queen’s Men,” and
Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood
headed self” was filled with pride. However, I can honestly admit that I lost myself because of societal pressures, family rejections, society rejects about me identifying
as a lesbian. I lost connections and support because of
what people believed about my identity as opposed to the actual person that I was.
(2014), and Lipstick the Series
Fortunately, for me those days are gone, and I get to live
personal trainer, fitness model,
time I’ll keep declining until it’s exactly what I want, and that
(2105). Carter credits includes
actress, and a highly sought after celebrity influencer!
Gwendolyn D. Clemons MBA, PRC, Editor-in-Chief
6 | EDITOR’S LETTER
and experience unconditional love now. In this space and goes for everything and everybody!
So, for my LGBTQIA+ community, I ask you, do you have PRIDE? If not, I highly recommend disconnecting from
things and people that attempt to rob you of your humanity and right to live openly and free. Because GOD has already
ordered your steps, you just have to start moving your feet!
REMEMBER TO
HOLD SPACE FOR YOURSELF ar y
By B r
erick D. Ro
d od
Holding space is like a great
by being less reactive, more
know yourself and your dreams,
key to holding space for yourself
empathic, compassionate, kind,
your course if you have lost
journey home to your own soul. A is to see yourself with all your
faults and without judgment and criticism. To see yourself with
compassion, kindness, and love,
M
ost people would say they are good at supporting
their friends and family, but why are we so bad at being there for ourselves? We do it naturally for others, but what does it
mean to do it for ourselves?
For me, holding space means becoming the container to
experience myself; to grow, to feel, to express, to test out, to
live. It is being present, treating
yourself with care, consideration, kindness, compassion, and love. Paying attention to the needs of
your body and mind, feeling your emotions, and listening to the
yearning of your soul. It’s a way of being, a lifestyle, a profound
choice, and a stand you take. It’s not a belief system but is rather
a way of being with yourself and meeting your own needs. This can be lifesaving in intimate
relationships, where we can ruin a good thing by trying to make the
other person meet all our needs. We spend every minute of the
day with ourselves. How much of it is good, supportive, and kind?
responsive, more available,
present, balanced and at peace. WAYS TO HOLD SPACE FOR YOURSELF
just as you would a friend. It’s
Embracing Your Imperfection.
inviting Cousin Self-Doubt, Mr./
what make you unique and can
making friends with your fear,
Your “imperfections” are
Mrs. Perfectionist, Brother/Sister
often be the gateway to your
Criticism, and Brother/Sister Put Down, to lunch or dinner.
Holding space for yourself
gives you a place to check your direction, to see who or what
is in the driver seat of your life,
greatest gifts. Self-acceptance is key to holding space for
yourself. The more you accept
and love yourself, the more you will look after yourself and value your own needs.
and to adjust your course when
Saying ‘No’. When you say ‘no’
awareness into your life, ensuring
self-esteem, you show yourself
you need to. It brings space and your life reflects your soul and
your longings, so you don’t have
to wake up at age fifty and realize
you don’t like who you’ve become. If you truly want to help others, and make a positive impact on
the world, then learning to hold space for yourself, to befriend
and love yourself, is the greatest impact you could make on the
planet. You cannot hold space
for someone else if you cannot be with your own pain and hold
space for yourself. If there’s no room for you in your life, there
isn’t really any room for others. When you’re kind to yourself
you impact the lives of others
to others, you strengthen your that you are important and
valuable. And you give others permission to do the same.
Develop Boundaries. When you know you have the strength to
stand up for yourself and stand in your own corner, you can actually love more freely. Boundaries do not need to shut out, they can strengthen bonds.
Communing with Yourself. Being available to truly connect
and gives you space to correct your way. It helps you to shine a light on negative cycles
and habitual patterns. Simply
noticing what you ‘do’ is the first step to healing. Observing with
kindness, acceptance and humor is key to disrupting the cycle, as criticism keeps us locked into these negative patterns.
Reach out for Support. In
order to hold space for yourself, you must be able to reach out for support when you need it.
This strengthens your ability to be there for yourself. Knowing
your own limits and knowing you can get support if you need it,
makes your power to be there for yourself grounded and deeper. Be Authentic. You know the truth. You know who you are. Do not hide it from yourself.
Have the courage to see all of you; your gifts and your less than perfect bits. When you
see yourself with kindness and
compassion, you have the power to change aspects of yourself or your life that you dislike.
with yourself supports your
Develop Supportive Rituals
Listening. In stillness, we get
nurturing thing for yourself
time to be still, alone, to simply
to yourself that you will check in
overall health and wellbeing.
for Yourself. Do at least one
to know who we are. Taking
every day and make a promise
be, supports you in getting to
with you every day.
HEALTH & WELLNESS |
7
CARTER
THE BODY
I took a huge step forward in my life and refused to move backwards. I’m sticking to that vow I tweeted and making sure I put myself first at all costs.
8
| COVER STORY
Q: YOUR CAREER HAS SPANNED OVER THE LAST DECADE. WHAT HAS BEEN THE CATALYST FOR YOUR SUCCESS? A: Receiving the offer to play the role “Trouble” on “All the
Queen’s Men” is the biggest
catalyst for my success. Acting on this level is something I’ve
been wanting to do for years. I
put myself out there and worked hard on both myself and my
career, and finally a portion of my dreams came to reality.
Q: WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE SHOW THAT YOU THINK MOST SPEAKS AND APPEALS TO ITS GROWING AUDIENCE? A: “All the Queen’s Men” is relatable to dancers,
customers and anyone who has experienced a sense of drama. The show has many heartfelt, sexy and taboo events that
Q: AS THE POPULAR CHARACTER “TROUBLE” IN ALL THE QUEEN’S MEN,
take place which keeps the
audience interested, curious and waiting for more.
HOW MUCH DOES THE ROLE RESONATE WITH YOU? A: It almost seems as though
the writers for “All the Queen’s Men” were secretly following
me all my life. “Trouble” highly resonates with me and my
entire life, as I started as an
exotic dancer at a male strip
club in Compton. Some of my
fellow colleagues didn’t like the
attention I was receiving. I stood out so much I started to travel internationally to perform for people across the globe.
Q: AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR YOU TWEETED, “I REFUSE TO DO AND GO THROUGH THE SAME SHIT AS 2022.” HOW’S YOUR 2023 SO FAR, ESPECIALLY IN TERMS
Q: WHAT ELSE IS ON THE
OF UPHOLDING THAT VOW
HORIZON FOR YOU? ARE
TO YOURSELF? WHAT ARE
THERE ANY UPCOMING
SOME THINGS THAT YOU’RE
PROJECTS YOU’RE EXCITED
MAKING SURE REMAIN IN
ABOUT AND ABLE TO SHARE
YOUR REAR VIEW?
WITH US?
A: 2023 has been exciting. I took
A: I recently became a series
and refused to move backwards.
so all my fans should be seeing
a huge step forward in my life I’m sticking to that vow I
tweeted and making sure I put
myself first at all costs. I realized
that I needed to do this for me to grow and be the person in both my career and my personal life
that I’ve always dreamed to be.
STAY CONNECTED carter_thebody carter_thebody Photo Credit: Kelian Scott
regular on “All the Queen’s Men” much more of “Trouble.” I also created the “Carterthebody” brand harness. I started this project alone, so it has been
a rollercoaster ride to say the least. It’s something I’m very passionate about, and it is
finally in production. I cannot wait to share my brand and ideas with the world.
COVER STORY |
9
CARTER
THE BODY Acting on this level is something I’ve been wanting to do for years. I put myself out there and worked hard on both myself and my career.
10 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE
I smoked menthol cigarettes. Now I have COPD from smoking. Geri, age 58, Michigan
Geri smoked menthol cigarettes. Now she has COPD. There is no cure. She’s hoping to get on the lung transplant list, but she doesn’t know if she’ll be accepted in time. You can quit smoking. For free help, call
1-800-QUIT-NOW.
CDC.gov/quit
LOVING
OUR LGBTQIA+ By Editor-in-Chief Gwendolyn D. Clemons
CHILDREN E
ach Mother’s Day, TUV Magazine intentionally
features a section that highlights mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, or the matriarch that
provided support in the lives of
LGBTQIA+ individuals. We can’t
ever stop having these types of conversations because of the
harrowing stories of rejections
and even murder because of the identity of their child.
Parents play a crucial role in
shaping their child's life, and
when it comes to children who identify as LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual),
parents' love and support are especially critical. LGBTQIA
youth often face discrimination, rejection, and social isolation, which can cause significant emotional distress. Studies
have shown that supportive
12 | SPECIAL FEATURE
families can have a positive impact on LGBTQIA youth's
mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Therefore, it is essential for parents to love
and accept their LGBTQIA child unconditionally.
One of the most significant
challenges that LGBTQIA youth face is rejection from their
family members. Many young
people fear coming out to their parents because they worry
that they will not be accepted,
and this fear can be particularly
acute in cultures or communities where LGBTQIA identities
are not widely understood or
accepted. When parents reject their child because of their
sexual orientation or gender
identity, it can have devastating consequences. It can lead to
depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, and it can damage
the parent-child relationship irreparably.
On the other hand, when
parents love and accept their LGBTQIA child, it can have a
profoundly positive impact on
their child's mental health and
well-being. Studies have shown that LGBTQIA youth who feel supported by their families
are less likely to experience depression, anxiety, and
substance abuse. They are also more likely to have a positive
self-image, better grades, and stronger social connections.
Loving and accepting parents can also help their child build resilience and cope with the
challenges of being LGBTQIA in a sometimes-hostile world. Moreover, parents' love and
support are essential to the
coming-out process. Coming
Shunna & Mother Joy Vernon "As a kidney transplant recipient, two times over, I am proud to say
Dominique Price
my sweet, sweet Shunna. She has
& Mother Veronica McGhee
been by my side each step of the
"I may not say it enough, but you
way. She has the heart and soul
are everything to me. I cannot
imagine my life without you. You
Kyra Burns and Mother Renee Jewels
make me smile, happy, and proud.
"Having a child that you love is the most important
You've become my best friend
part of being a mother. And when you have a child
and I love you more than anything
that is part of the LGBTQIA+ community your life
in the world.
of a caregiver and for that I am
eternally grateful. My quiet girl, my strong one, my dependable
daughter is a blessing in my life." ‒ Mother Joy Vernon
is always filled with a bright light, a lot of fun and
My sweet, sweet baby girl.
fill with joy."
Love you!"
‒ Mother Renee Jewel
‒ Mother Veronica McGhee
out can be a scary and difficult
to learning from their child. Many
LGBTQIA youth, the support
LGBTQIA issues can also become
youth, and having a supportive
may not fully understand the
members can make all the
their child, which can help them
process for many LGBTQIA parent can make all the
difference. When parents love
and accept their child, it sends a powerful message that their child's sexual orientation or
gender identity is not a source of shame or disgrace. This can help their child feel more confident
and secure in their identity, which can, in turn, make it easier for them to come out to others.
It's also essential for parents
to educate themselves about
LGBTQIA issues and to be open
parents of LGBTQIA children
issues their child faces or may have misconceptions about
what it means to be LGBTQIA. By
educating themselves and being
open to learning from their child, parents can become better
allies and advocates. This can
help them provide the support
and guidance their child needs to navigate the challenges of being LGBTQIA.
In conclusion, the importance
of parents loving their LGBTQIA child cannot be overstated. For
and acceptance of their family difference in their mental health and overall well-being. Parents
who love and accept their child
unconditionally send a powerful
message that their child's sexual orientation or gender identity is
not something to be ashamed of.
This can help their child feel more confident, secure, and validated in their identity, which can, in turn, help them navigate the
challenges of being LGBTQIA in a
sometimes-hostile world. Parents who are open to learning about
better allies and advocates for
build stronger, more supportive relationships. Therefore, it is
essential for parents to love and accept their LGBTQIA child and
to provide them with the support
and guidance they need to thrive. The pictures captured in this feature are one’s of love and
admiration between the mother and their LGBTQIA+ child. To
all the mothers and caregivers out there who give their child
unconditionally love, we salute
you and we all say THANK-YOU!
SPECIAL FEATURE |
13
Planting Seeds with Pride By Beth Trouy
M
ost of my friends who I grew up with have left
the Church. Each has their
reasons, but my gay friends
have a laundry list to refer to
about why they will never come back. My best friend growing
up used to go every Sunday, but now, she doesn’t even know, or care, when it’s Easter. Between being told that only boys could
be altar servers (after she rode
her bike miles to Church to show up for altar server training one
morning) and the heap of shame piled on her for being gay, (and, well, the abuse scandal getting a bit too close to her friends),
well, it was a bellyful for her. She and so many others tell me they don’t need religion anymore. Unfortunately, it’s not just
religion they leave behind. God gets the boot, too.
Us gay folks always seem to
have to choose what we can keep in our hearts and what
we have to let go of if we want
to be our true selves. It’s often choosing between family, the town we grew up in, the local Church, verses the “real” us, when we realized we were
14 | SPIRITUALITY
different. We’ve learned that we
As Pride Day comes around
for us to be close and share this
places without also being forced
each year and set up a booth
God to fade into the shadows.
can’t go back to those nostalgic to shed some of ourselves in order to be accepted again.
Whatever we choose, a part of
us gets ripped out of our hearts. God usually becomes a casualty in the ripping.
You see, I know that nothing in any Church that brought
shame, self-hate, or rejection
had one iota to do with God. A local preacher once said that if anything makes you feel
bad about yourself, that’s not
coming from God. People have done an awful lot of damage in the name of God. People
calling themselves servants
of God have done the devil’s
work. Good and evil co-exist in
all places and churches are not
immune. The trauma of rejection tends to tie God to the building and the people who caused
the rejection, so God also gets blamed. For those who are
rejected, the thought of God’s house becomes a negative image and a bad memory. Eventually, it’s just God with all the blame.
again, I’m reminded of why I go with my Church. I get asked a
lot why I put myself through this when most people there want
nothing to do with religion. My
hope is to get a chance to listen to their stories and maybe have a conversation. Sure, they tell
me they don’t need religion to have God. True, but also not
realistic. Remember that story
of the seed planted? You know, the one planted all by itself
that gets blown away when
the storms and winds come
because it didn’t have a deep root system? That’s us in this
world of distraction without a faith community surrounding us to keep us grounded.
God’s voice in our hearts gets
drowned out from the constant distractions. We don’t even
know when it happens. We just
wake up one day and don’t even remember when Easter was.
We are influenced heavily by
our environment, whether we
are willing to admit it or not. An
environment that doesn’t reflect
God’s love for us, God’s yearning
love with others—well, it causes What we focus on grows
and what we ignore, withers.
Faith, like knowledge, requires focused attention.
I go to Pride to water that seed that God planted in each of
us. God is nothing but love. If
any Church preaches hate or rejection, then leave. But go
out and find one that sounds
more like God. If I can just plant a seed in their broken hearts to
remind them that God never left them, if I can just help them see that God travels all this way to
Pride to meet them where they are, just to be sure they hear
it again: they are loved, just as they are in that moment, and
always have been. You see, this is the one constant in life: we
are loved and desired by God. It’s a simple message.
For as much as we need the gay community to help us
survive in this world, we need a faith community even more to keep us rooted in love
over fear in this world and whatever comes next.
WHY GAY PRIDES ARE NECESSARY
G
ay Pride is important for several reasons. Firstly,
it is a way for members of the
LGBTQ+ community to celebrate their identities and promote visibility and acceptance.
For many years, people who identified as LGBTQ+ were
marginalized, discriminated
against, and even criminalized for their sexuality or gender
identity. Gay Pride events offer an opportunity for people to
come together and celebrate
issues, Gay Pride events
pride in who they are.
understanding and support for
their differences, and to take Secondly, Gay Pride events
are an important way to raise
awareness about the ongoing
struggles that LGBTQ+ people face, including discrimination, violence, and inequality. By drawing attention to these
can help to increase public the LGBTQ+ community.
Thirdly, Gay Pride events
provide a sense of community and belonging for LGBTQ+
people. Many people within the
LGBTQ+ community experience social isolation and alienation
and may feel like they are alone in their struggles. Gay Pride events offer a space where people can come together,
connect with others who share similar experiences, and build supportive networks.
Finally, Gay Pride events are a way to push for change
and advocate for LGBTQ+
rights. By coming together and raising their voices, members
of the LGBTQ+ community and their allies can call for greater equality, representation, and
protection under the law. This can help to create a more
just and equitable society for all people, regardless
of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
15
e ca N . H i m
forthcoming. WE are replaceable on our jobs, ask brother Jamie
Foxx. WE are irreplaceable to our loved ones. Since the start of the year, I've noticed a significant increase in people calling to
start therapy because they've
"reached a breaking point" or feel as though they are "drowning." This declaration leads me to explore factors contributing
to their sense of drowning and self-care practices. Take a
moment and guess the factor
most commonly identified as a
source of relentless stress. If you guessed work, then you guessed
an k ton
By Dr. U
PREPARE THE OTHERS
Public Service Announcement
correctly. Unfortunately, what
is also common is the belief in lack of time or the inability to
slow down momentarily to allow themselves to recharge or care for themselves healthily.
16 | HEALTH & WELLNESS
You can't perform at your most
optimal level if you're operating
on fumes. Your mind needs rest. Your body needs rest. Your soul needs rest. Involuntary rest
due to illness isn't the same
as voluntary rest. When you're
forced to rest due to an illness, your body shifts to recovery
mode and goes into overdrive,
working to replenish all it lost due
to illness or injury. However, when you consistently, strategically,
and voluntarily rest your body, you experience the optimal
benefit because your body isn't trying to recover from a deficit. When was the last time you
called your place of employment and said, "I'm calling out today?" Seriously, do you recall the last
time you decided to take the day off, not because you felt bad but
M 25
1. Arrange a spa day
14. Volunteer
2. Take a yoga/spin class
15. Send “thinking of you” cards to folks needing a reminder that they matter too.
wellness? When did having perfect
3. Garden/purchase fresh flowers or your space
PTO become a flex? Is it an actual
4. Invite a friend to lunch/breakfast
attendance or an abundance of
flex, a symptom of unhealthy work boundaries, a manifestation of
trauma, or a signal for potential
burnout? Perfect work attendance
5. Sleep/Get more rest 6. Journal/Create positive affirmations 7. Shop (responsibly)
and poor health shouldn't be a
8. Attend a wellness retreat
your title as a team player, or how
10. Explore how you want to live differently
your profession. Perfect work
11. Attend PRIDE events or other gatherings that make your soul feel alive
measure of good work ethics,
committed you are to advancing attendance may reflect poor
boundaries, de-prioritization of self, and an increased risk for severe
physical and psychological injury. As we approach this upcoming
9. Visit a new coffee shop
12. Go to the movies 13. Convince a few of your friends to take a mental health day and you all drive to the nearest beach
16. Schedule a full-body or chair massage 17. Spend time outdoors/commune with nature/go for a hike 18. Redecorate a small space in your home and designate it as a space for wellness 19. Disconnect from energy zappers 20. Check-in with your body and determine what it needs for wellness 21. Attend a therapy appointment 22. Pray/Meditate 23. Create something/Build a business or brand 24. Research other job opportunities 25. REST and decide when you will schedule your next mental health day!
season of freedom (Juneteenth) and love (PRIDE), offer yourself
the liberating gift of removing the shackles of sacrificing yourself for the people and places of
employment who will not hesitate to replace you. Instead, commit to loving yourself differently by
establishing healthy boundaries at work and with others. If you
can't decide what to do on your mental health day, the short
answer is REST. However, if you
want to leave the house and move your body, consider a few of the
I
!
because you wanted to prioritize
en
lth Wellness a e Da lH ta y
as de
Let’s be clear, having perfect attendance isn’t the flex one thinks. When we don’t voluntarily make time for wellness, we involuntarily agree to manage preventable illnesses later.
Let’s be clear, having perfect attendance isn’t the flex one thinks. When we don’t voluntarily make time for
wellness, we involuntarily agree to manage preventable illnesses later. Imagine missing out on a planned event because your body could no longer function due to
neglect. Grab your calendar. Pick a wellness day. Set
the alarm to wake early that day to give your job time
to PREPARE THE OTHERS. When someone answers the phone, say, “I’m requesting a sick day to recharge. I will
return tomorrow and manage the items on my task list.”
Dr. Umieca Hankton (Dr. U.) is a licensed
clinical psychologist with over a decade of mental health treatment experience
across multiple treatment settings. She is
the founder of UNH Counseling Services, a behavioral health agency that deliberately focuses on the psychological health
and wellness of BIPOC, LGBTQ+, college
students, and clergy. To learn more about treatment options and services offered,
please visit www.UNHCounselingServices. com or call 901-300-9082.
Unless your job specifies in writing that sick days are only reserved for physical health concerns, you can take a sick day to care for your mental health.
following next ideas.
HEALTH & WELLNESS |
17
18| CONTENTS
Evolve in every
I
was asked this question at
an event. Was there anyone
who was older which inspired
you that was in the LGBTQIA+
community? I mean in a way you
By Monick Monell
٠ The Greatest Generation Born 1901-1924.
٠ The Silent Generation Born 1925-1945
learned mannerisms or asked
٠ The Baby Boomer
of finding yourself. Such as, how
Born 1946-1964
for advice in your coming of age do I deal and where do I go if my
family does not accept me? How do I deal with friends who push away from me once they are
against who I am due to religion
Generation
٠ Generation X
Born 1965-1979
٠ Millennials
Born 1980-1994
or what they were taught from
٠ Generation Z
come out of the closet every
٠ Gen Alpha
home? Will I forever have to time I meet someone at the
workplace or even in general? I saw the importance of
LGBTQIA+ safe spaces and organizations. Safe spaces
are important in our journey especially having people of every generation in a room:
Born 1995-2012 Born 2013 – 2025
We must remember the people
who fought before laws were in place. Remember how others
saw life through their eyes. What does freedom look like being in
this world? What does resilience truly mean to us? Physical
resilience, mental resilience,
emotional resilience, and social resilience. They have a saying” those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it.”
20 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE
The importance of our words, our stories, our past and our present is as important as our future. It
is 2023 and as I am writing this
piece there are at least 471 antiLGBTQIA bills that have been introduced. We have 39 bills
targeting Drag performances that our legislators are also
trying to pass. Also, bills being
proposed are attacking medical care and worldwide rights for
LGBTQIA+ people, it is as if trying to erase us as a people. For 2023, Pride means
community, village, resources but also, I learned that it is
important to listen and speak
to our ancestors for answers. I have learned our ancestors are here right now! All of us
in every generation have the
heart to change the world and
to remember we are evolving in every season. I want you all to walk into different rooms and
come together like we used to in all generations. When new
We must remember the people who fought before laws were in place. Remember how others saw life through their eyes.
headlines and different politics,
opportunities for in-person
As the 300 anti-education bills
try to censor us. Remember
building, ensure the handing
to include a surge in curriculum
business, science come and to pick up a book about our
history, remember to go back
and find answers and remember inspiration comes in us sharing our stories. Because the
answers for change are in us! If you are looking for spaces and resources to come
together, please connect with your organization or
with someone you connect that you feel safe with.
Living in New York City I am provided with joining such
spaces as “The Generation Project ''. The Generations
Project is a place for LGBTQIA+ to meet and connect across all generations and backgrounds, to share and preserve our
history and tell our stories in
our own voices. By revitalizing the oral tradition, we create
gathering and community-
down of LGBTQ+ experiences
to future generations and uplift marginalized voices.
Also, I am a member of “The
Masculine Identified Lesbians of Color Collective’s” where
are being introduced this year censorship bills, which would restrict instruction around
gender and sexuality in public
schools. A new category of bills referred to as “forced outing”
bills are also being introduced.
the mission is to sponsor
In every pride celebration
and workshops, with the
lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
quarterly discussion groups distinct goal of empowering a marginalized community of women who in some
form or another have or will
share similar experiences of
rejection or judgment simply because of their identity as
Masculine Identified Lesbians of Color. In addition, to
create an intergenerational
bonding process, along witha sense of mental and physical balance. MILCC's face today
and options to enact change to the stigmas associated with being a MILCC.
remember the impact that transgender individuals have
had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. Trans rights, Human rights, and LGBQ rights makes us all question where we fit in this world. I want us all to know we do not need permission to exist.
So, I will write this down one more time. “Evolve in every
season” May not every story
of our existence be of what is
trying to erase us, but let every
story be about our resilience and
STAY CONNECTED Brooklyn_Moz Monick Monell Photo Credit: Catitude Photography
the generations to come.
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
21
T
he moment for full marriage equality finally arrived on
June 26, 2015, with the Supreme Court decision in Obergefell
v. Hodges. In a landmark 5-4 decision, marriage equality
became the law of the land and
granted same-sex couples in all 50 states the right to full, equal recognition under the law.
Well times are different, but This profound day is still emblazed to be in New York City on that
Friday when it was announced.
I had just landed in New York, to celebrate gay pride, and I was so overjoyed at this decision.
While I had one failed marriage
under my belt, I was optimistic at this new opportunity at love. My first marriage was to a woman,
and with my pansexual identity, I was happy that my attempt at a
forever love would be recognized no matter the other person's
identity. That Sunday, I was given a beautiful opportunity to join
a local agency on their parade float. The sun was shining so
bright that day, and the pure love
of sexual freedom, partneredwith a new fresh perspective on
love and life was present with
everyone getting ready to ride
our floats down 5th Avenue. With the parade being over 3 miles,
there were a lot of floats, and the float I joined was in the middle. To this day, I will never forget
the outpouring of love, smiles,
laughs and good energy riding down that avenue, and the promise of a new day.
22 | THE UNLEASHED VOICE
am still single.
While I am wise enough to
recognize that the challenges
under the pansexual scope, I
decision to live their lives, and
their conversation fulfilling,
differ. While I respect everyone’s “forever love” a relationship
doesn't automatically mean a
richer, fuller life. But, with rates
of depression, suicide and other social ills continuing to plague
our community, one argument
showcases the validity of having a successful partner.
that most people, regardless
I wrote this article for a number
difficulties finding successful
to find the solution to end my
of sexual orientation have
love partnerships, within the queer world, the challenges
are multi-layered. Additionally,
statistics show that more people are satisfied with the single life,
and have no desire for marriage. A new Pew Research Center
analysis of census data finds
that in 2019, roughly four-in-ten
adults ages 25 to 54 (38%) were unpartnered – that is, neither
married nor living with a partner.
This share is up sharply from 29% in 1990.2 Men are now more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years
ago. Combine two men, and those rates are more dire.
What is fueling this lack of
of reasons. For one, I wanted singlehood. I want to have
a partner, with the goal of a
marriage, as I believe the value
and easier, as you have someone to uplift and inspire. Yes, I know sometimes that has to happen
within, and the partner should not
leads the initial exchange? I
have seen a trend where “dick
pics” start conversation, and if love does happen, it is AFTER
SEX. While I recognize sex is an important part of a satisfying relationship, I think intimacy trumps sex each and every time. The core definition of
intimacy is close familiarity or
friendship; closeness. Can two men experience that by just
plenty of men and women who I have considered possible
mates and desired to make the next step for love. But,
without appropriate photo
portfolios and sex talk leading the way, I fall short. In my next article, I will reveal how love
should be treated, once you
find that one, while I continue my daunting search.
vid
Wyle y
your cup, but sometimes that
partner is the ice cube in your glass of life. With your liquid,
it can be a refreshing cocktail,
and make life worth living. If we
continue to not seek loving and deeper bonds with each other, and finding mates, what is our true purpose in life?
made us better citizens, and
without the baggage, and sex
me wanting more. I have met
fill your cup, but only enhance
I often wonder, does the sex ability for people to engage
their conversation leaves
and makes living more deeper
So, I ask, has eight years later
positivity movement give the
and I am quickly smitten when
of marriage is a beautiful thing,
partnering/marriage within
the gay men world. For one,
often meet people, and find
ng Lo
in my mind, as I was blessed
Fast Forward and 8 years later, I
engaging in oral sex? I beg to
By D a
Searching for Solutions to END MY SINGLEHOOD
and having the right to marry
fuller, or has it not had a ripple effect in other aspects of life? I am reminded of love in many
aspects of my life and have seen
plenty of successful and beautiful unions. I went to my first gay
marriage in 2016, and it was a
sight to behold. The love, that I
assumed was unattainable, was in front of my eyes, and applauded
and feted with grandeur. I left the ceremony inspired, and feeling great. I knew my partner was
looking for me, as I looked for
them. Being a man who identifies
David Wyley Long hails from East
Orange, New Jersey. He has been
working in social work for the past 17 years, earning his Credentialed Alcohol and Substance Abuse
Counselor training from New. York State in 2005. He has led various
outreach programs in Staten Island, Brooklyn, and Nashville, Tennessee.
David Wyley holds an Associate degree from Nashville State and a Bachelor's Degree in Urban Studies from Tennessee State University.
David Wyley loves the community he
serves. He leads with an unapologetic
approach with love and compassion. He is determined to find the best solutions for his people.
David Wyley Long believes everyone black and brown are important to
the fabric of America. Additionally, he understands the equity and
equality needed for his people to overcome systemic barriers that
impede growth. He walks and talks with a united passion to uplift his people to be unapologetic and
dynamic in everything they do. He is proud to serve and aims to be a part of the vision to end HIV/AIDS in his
community. He is the proud author of his first book, a memoir of his life so far: Up Against the Wind.
One To Watch In
Von ty
Trucking and Transportation ham Dur
na
Xcelente Trucking is a
Federal Motor Carrier Safety
Administration (FMSCA) traveling training course provider and
certified Minority Woman Owned
Business specializing in providing top-tier Commercial Driver
License (CDL)Training. Minority Woman Owned Small Business with a National & State accreditation.
O
ur selection for “One to
Watch” is Vontyna Durham
from Memphis, TN. We selected Vontyna because of heroism and dedication to changing
the paradigm in Trucking and
Transportation. As the founder of Xcelente Trucking Vontyna has
created a new avenue for women, minorities, and reentry path for
those seeking a rewarding career
established Safe Driver
Apprenticeship Pilot Program (SDAP). This three-year
the Road (WIT).
• Entry- Level Driver Training ELDT Class B Theory
• Hazmat Endorsement • Into to Dispatching
• Corporate Training • Job Placement
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trucking companies hire and train new drivers through an
apprenticeship pilot program.
Trucking is an FMSCA traveling
Women in Trucking’s Redefining
the Wheel
program helps individuals
Minority Apprenticeship
Watch in Transportation by
ELDT Class A Range & Behind
• Trucking Business Consulting
the FMCSA's recently
We offer advanced truck
as the 2023 Top Woman to
• Entry-Level Driver Training
Xcelente is a partner of
Vontyna Durham was recently
Tennessee. She was also named
ELDT Class A Theory
SERVICES OFFERED
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in Trucking in the State of
• Entry- Level Driver Training –
YOUTH SERVICES
in the trucking industry.
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training course provider in the State of Tennessee.
CAREER DEVELOMENT We help our students develop their career pathways and
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navigate the professional truck driving industry.
Xcelente provides mentorship, job shadowing, and advanced skill building programs for
the next generation of truckers and operators.
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
23
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