1 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
AIDS/ HIV NEWS
After my diagnosis, it took me a while to accept the fact that being HIV-positive is not the end of the world: It’s just the beginning of a whole new way of life. The first meds I was prescribed gave me some bad side effects. But I worked with my doctors to find a new one that was better for me. Now I feel great and my viral count is undetectable. That list of things you wanted to accomplish before you were diagnosed? It’s still possible if you stay in care and work with your doctor to find the treatment that’s best for you. 2 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
“I’ m here. I’ m living. I’ m happy. So take that, HIV.” Cedric
Living with HIV since 2012.
HIV
TREATMENT
WORKS
Get in care. Stay in care. Live well. cdc.gov/HIVTreatmentWorks 3 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
On the Cover: B. SLADE Photographer: Naoepix
10 B. SLADE:
THE BLACK BELT
THE
LGBTQ HISTORY ISSUE
Photographer: Naoepix Styling: Leerickie Collection
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“...It’s more than a magazine-It’s a Synergized Movement.” 4 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
TUV Mission
The Unleashed Voice Magazine will cultivate the stories of LGBTQ people with engaging and empowering conversation to people of the world about the multicultural LGBTQ Community.
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The Unleashed Voice Magazine (TUV Magazine) will aid the LGBTQ Community and its allies in redefining how the diverse LGBTQ person wishes to be viewed or spoken about. TUV Magazine will be the optimal print and media hub for the affluent LGBTQ consumer and those who want to be included in the “Unleashing” movement.
07 EDITOR’S LETTER
By Davin D. Clemons, MDiv, Editor
08 5 POWERFUL GAY MEN IN HISTORY By Martavius Hampton
12 SHINING A SPOTLIGHT ON BLACK MEN & MENTAL ILLNESS By LaWayne Childrey
18 ARTIST SPOTLIGHT FEATURING
Victor Yates, Lambda Literary Award Winner
13 TIME TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE By Rayceen Pendarvis, HRH
17 IT’S GREEK TO ME By Eddie Wiley
19
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE By Jordan Howard
24 ALL MY LIFE I HAD TO FIGHT
By Lakara Foster, M.Ed, Spiritual Coach
20 HEALTH & FITNESS By Gordie Holt
Be part of TUV Magazine’s Next Issue
21 TRUMP HEADS AN ICEBERG By Ami Dudley
MAR + APR 2017
23 BREAKING OUT OF RELIGION AFFIRMING GAYNESS By Dr. Darnell Gooch, Jr.
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25 EMPOWERMENT | PERSONAL GROWTH By J’ahmad Kelly
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26 PRO BLACK & PRO GAY By Marques Lipsey
27 FASHION SPOTLIGHT
TEAM TUV
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28 TRANSMOVEMENT MENTAL ILLNESS By Renae Taylor
29 ONE TO WATCH IN NEW YORK
Shawn M. Clemons
Shawn M. Clemons Administration/Fashion Director Administration/ Fashion Director
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Eddie Wiley Editor/Contributor
AIDS/ HIV Correspondent
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Ravell Slayton Project Manager
D’Jamal Young
30 BEYOND BAM BAM By Brandon Akins
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| EDITOR’S LETTER
YOUR NEW YEAR’S
RESOLUTION GET SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP! Davin D. Clemons, MDiv.
H
appy New Year from the staff of TUV Magazine! I am truly elated and electrified to be a part of such a movement as this enlightenment period in Memphis, TN and abroad. But as I am finishing up my Doctoral Dissertation from Memphis Theological Seminary, entitled “Liberating the LGBTQ Spirit through Christian Empowerment: Facilitating Life Empowerment Sessions for LGBTQ Individuals”, I have discovered during my research and studies that many of my LGBTQ sisters and brothers are suffering from a higher prevalence of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), “a debilitating mental illness that can have life-long negative consequences,” which has been found in young adult gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and “mostly heterosexuals” at considerably younger ages than previously identified when compared with “completely heterosexuals,” according to a new study by Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) and Boston Children’s Hospital researchers. The researchers found also higher symptoms of PTSD in sexual minorities compared with heterosexual individuals in their early 20s. Growing up gay in a society that generally looks or looked at being gay as something that was shameful, sinful and perverse is enough to traumatize anyone emotionally, not to mention the dysfunctional family relationships, the discomfort about you around your peers, and the shame that not only came from your feelings about being gay, but that was inherited from your family as well. YOU MUST GET SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP! My mission in life now is to liberate LGBTQ individuals through Life Empowerment sessions to help empower, motivate, validate and strengthen the lives of individuals in the LGBTQ Community who have been overlooked, underserved, and frequently ostracized by the Church and society. But in order to be liberated, YOU MUST GET SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP! What we definitely need is more compassion for ourselves and one another, as well as to find a willingness to address what actually ails us. Just say no to drugs and self-destructive behavior and being judgmental toward each other -- none of those is a solution. We have to instead become willing to feel and heal the things that hurt us so deeply when we were growing up:
YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION SHOULD BE TO GET SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP!
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LGBTQ HISTORY |
S
5
Powerful
Gay Men in History
ince the dawn of man, there have been many influential and powerful gay men in the world. From Egypt to the Middle Ages, gay men have ruled and accomplished many feats throughout history. In all honesty, we can only assume that the likes of Shakespeare and Alexander the Great identified as gay. Scholars often go back and forth with the little evidence that they have to prove or debunk such gay claims, but we must also understand that the times were very different then. What we identify gay as today was non-existent because there was not a term to describe the commonplace nature of same-sex relationships or sexual activity. In addition, there are also the men to consider who included homosexual innuendos in their works, who probably could not live as out gay men due to the social stigmas against being gay at the time. There are many powerful and influential gay men in recent history to choose from, but I can only type so many words in this article. Thus, I will highlight five “gay” influential and powerful men: Alvin Ailey, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Harvey Milk, and Bayard Rustin. Alvin Ailey became a world famous dancer and choreographer who merged the worlds of theatre and various dance genres into one. After dancing for other dance companies, he formed his very own dance group, Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, in the late 50s. He created many dance works and toured the world with his group. Ailey’s craft incorporated jazz, modern, ballet, and African dance into his choreography which can still be seen in many black dance academies today. He died in 1989 from AIDS related complications. The iconic James Baldwin was a provocative writer and activist who injected into his works the themes of racism, social injustice, and even homosexuality. Baldwin created works of art such as the powerful and unapologetic Go Tell It on the Mountain and Giovanni’s Room. He died in 1987 from stomach cancer, and his legacy lives in literature and African American history. The Hughes -- that is, Langston Hughes, also known as the king of the Harlem Renaissance -- helped to make Harlem the place to be for young black artists in New York. As a writer and social activist, Hughes developed countless plays, novels, and other works that celebrated black arts, lives, and culture. Mule Bone and The Ways of White Folks were just two examples of his beloved creations that continue to stand the test of time. Hughes died in 1967 of surgical complications related to prostate cancer.
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By Martavius Hampton
Harvey Milk was nicknamed the Mayor of Castro by the San Francisco gay community because of his pioneering political influence on supporting protections for LGBT workplace protections. In his brief political career, he helped to introduce and pass several pieces of legislation that promoted equal treatment for LGBTQ and other minority communities in San Francisco. Unfortunately, Milk and the actual mayor of San Francisco were assassinated by a former associate within minutes of each other in 1978. Milk’s legacy continues to prosper and gain more recognition in movies, schools, and government. Last and certainly not least is the amazing, Bayard Rustin. Some would say that Rustin was the brains behind the 1963 March on Washington; in fact, he was indeed the lead organizer of the march. Rustin was one of Dr. King’s most trusted advisors who taught King that the combination of nonviolence and civil disobedience could be an effective strategy to use in the civil rights movement. He was an avid civil rights activist for decades until his untimely death in 1987. Rustin’s contributions were often overshadowed by Dr. King and scandal, but his impact has resurfaced into the public thanks to various acknowledgments of his undeniable contributions that should be noted. Bayard Rustin and his legacy represent the embodiment of why we should remember the influence and power a person can have even behind the scenes. In modern society, we often place too much emphasis on the people in the front or in the spotlight, but we often overlook those important people who have helped to create such accomplishments outside the public eye. Let’s remember that we rarely accomplish success on our own. In the end, what these men have accomplished is enormous. From writing to dance to politics to civil rights, these men have blazed the trail for future generations. Note, while reading this article, that I haven’t really mentioned much about the men and their sexuality. Although it is remarkable that some of these men accomplished so much as gay men, it was their work first and their sexuality second that should be acknowledged. Thanks to these powerful and influential gay men in history, we now have a history in the making where gay men can be out and powerful creators in their work. Here’s to new legacies in the works.
| EDITOR’S LETTER
WE FOCUS ON HIV TO HELP YOU FOCUS ON
TODAY
Ask your doctor if a medicine made by Gilead is right for you.
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COVER FEATURE |
Photographer: Naoepix
By TUV Staff Hip-hop and R&B artist B Slade, formerly known as gospel artist Tonéx, discusses his underlying plea to our society as the inspiration behind his groundbreaking new mixtape, The Black Belt.
Q: Tell us about the inspiration behind The Black Belt. A: January 2016, I released an album called Ferrari, addressing a number of things that are happening right now politically speaking. It began with black talent, gifts, culture, and music being used by white counterparts without our acknowledgement — Cheerio commercials, cat food commercials, all kinds of commercials incorporating some element
10 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
of black culture, hip hop in particular. It seems like these major corporations benefit from our culture but don’t embrace the issues of our culture. So I started addressing these issues and even talked about what was going to happen in the election. Then after seeing the different murders happening, the different black brothers that were slain — I think it was Alton who I saw first, killed by the police officer. He actually died on camera. I’d never seen anybody in real life die in front of my face. I wasn’t there, but we all saw the footage. It traumatized me. I wrote a song called Black Blood in response to that, and it became the first single from The Black Belt.
| COVER FEATURE
THE BLACK BELT I thought, wait a minute, I can’t have this kind of gift, this kind of talent, this type of platform, and not use it to enlighten, educate, and protect my brothers. So what can I do with my power to make sure that we are enlightened and educated? When people hear the album, they’re going to hear the story of an artist who felt a deep responsibility that if I am truly the artist I say I am, I don’t just want to be known for my talent and how dope I am. I want to be known for the fact that he used his platform to uplift his people, particularly. I’m not anti-white, I’m not antiAsian, I’m not anti-Russian, I’m not anti-anybody. I am pro-black in this sense: I want what’s best for my people first. And that’s what this album — and movement, really — is about. It was also inspired by Nina Simone, who was like how can you be an artist and not reflect, or have commentary, on the times that you’re living in? And she was absolutely right. So the social responsibility of it was what led me to release this for free. Because it wasn’t about making money. It was about getting the message out. In 2016, you would think we would have moved on from all this by now, but here we are still dealing with the same stuff. So what’s the best way to get people to rethink it? Music, videos, art. People can take the truth through art more than they can through sermon or documentation. It’s always the way the truth has been told. I’m using that to convey this message and to inspire people because they inspire me. Q: How did you decide on the album’s title? A: As far as the title, when I think of “black belt,” I think of discipline. I think of kung fu, karate, Bruce Lee, martial arts — about how obtaining that level of achievement in any discipline requires focus, discipline and dedication. But as I began looking further into The Black Belt concept, it took on new meaning. I found out that in areas surrounding Alabama, Mississippi, and Tennessee, is something called the Black Belt, similar to the Bible Belt, where there had been the slave trade, and where religion is often used to control people in a new form of slavery. A lot of the idiosyncrasies we have in religion, particularly in the black church, stem from the teachings and the slavery that have taken place within that region called the Black Belt, a term that originally described the dark fertile soil of Alabama and northeast Mississippi. And for some reason, particularly in that region, there is low education attainment, poor healthcare, urban decay, substandard housing, high levels of crime, unemployment — all considerably higher than any other region in the continental United States. I had no clue that beginning up until the early 20th century and up to 1970, we were still technically slaves, still not free in America as black people. Through actual legislation, we hadn’t completely been emancipated. Those rural workers, tenant farmers, and sharecroppers after the American Civil War and the emancipation — all of their legislation was still in place up until that point, and that’s why you saw about 6 million people leave the South, moving up to the north, midwest, and west coast, because they were trying to find work. We got our liberation only about 45 years ago, so we’re not far from, basically, domestic apartheid, and we’re still seeing the results of that. The Black Belt is still the nation’s poorest and most distressed area. In 2016, it’s still Georgia, North Carolina, Maryland, Tennessee, Louisiana, Mississippi, that are to this day the poorest and most distressed areas, and a lot of it has to do with Jim Crow laws and disenfranchisement. Researching all of this, it occurred to me that the way for us to combat what’s happening to black people is by cultivating our own black belt mentality to combat the phenomenon of this Black Belt region. How do we do that? Well, if we’re so angry about what’s happening with black lives, people getting killed, all that we’re facing in this world as black people, then instead of starting a riot, let’s start a diet. You’re talking about how crack kills, but who even needs that when sugar is killing us? If we want to combat the Black Belt, then fight back academically,
fight back athletically. Become a black samurai. When you get pulled over by the cops as a black male, or woman, use restraint. Be a disciplined black samurai and maintain your composure in these situations. The energy we’re using to burn down our own communities with riots and everything else we do when we say we’re upset, take that energy and better yourself, learn a language, learn an instrument, do something positive in your community to educate and uplift. That’s what hip hop used to do. When I was coming up, through political activists and rap movements, I found out about my African American heritage, that I wasn’t a slave, that I was a king, that I actually come from wealthy, smart, enlightened people who are geometric geniuses. I hadn’t known that. So in the same way hip hop educated me, I said let me make a hip hop based mixed tape that will be available for free, that would educate about the region of the Black Belt. And that’s where this movement, that’s where these videos are starting from. The tour is starting in this region of the Black Belt, in Memphis, TN, where Martin Luther King was assassinated, and that’s also where I’ll be shooting videos from this project for the singles Black Blood and Black Lives Matter. Q: What are you hoping this album awakens in people to help remedy this plight? A: This generation of musicians, particularly in hip hop, in addition to turn up, have to step up. Do what you do — everything can’t be dark and gloom and political, but at the same time, you can’t ignore it, you can’t just drink it away, and smoke it away and sex it away, you have to educate people. There’s nothing wrong with partying, there’s nothing wrong with turning up, there’s nothing wrong with ratchet music. I love to turn up. Trap music is all through my catalogue. I love that medium. However, we can’t just boogie into the 22nd century without a clue, without a plan, without a purpose. What have we done since we’ve had a black president? I think we’ve basically been watching Love and Hip Hop, and Real Housewives of Atlanta. I’m not saying that those are bad shows, and I don’t want to compartmentalize all black people. But when I see so many of us going off about Trump being president, why weren’t we being more proactive while we had our own race as Chief of Staff of the United States? Why weren’t we being more proactive in mobilizing ourselves, especially through the medium of hip hop? After the Black Lives Matter movement — and notice that nobody’s really talking about that now — I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but on social media, we moved on from that somehow. But we need to continue these things. It shouldn’t just be a hashtag or a trend or something viral. It’s still happening. Because of the desperate times we’re in, particularly in America, particularly with African Americans, and particularly with African American males — how can all black lives matter when we don’t matter to each other? We kill each other so quickly. So it looks stupid for us to make a demand of other races to respect our humanity when we don’t respect the plight of our own brothers and sisters. And that’s not just through physical violence and physical threats, but it also comes through homophobia. So I feel an obligation, not from anyone else, but a personal one, to make a contribution to music and art that can say you know what this brother really … he took a chance. Because anytime you’re dealing with anything political, there’s no guarantee it’s going to be received well. Everyone is not going to be happy when you start shining light on issues that have been covered up for a really long time. But I don’t care because God’s with me, and I know that I’m sent to do this.
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MENTAL HEALTH |
T
wo years ago, Avery Adams had just landed his dream job as an image consultant for a high profile rap star in Atlanta. The 25 year old was spending his days in exotic locations around the world making sure his celebrity clients were always looking the part of a “BOSS” by dressing them in designer wear that often cost more than many of us make in a year. But after the sudden death of his mother, Adams said his mental health collapsed under the stress and his beautiful life came crashing down around him. He started drinking heavily, began missing photo and video shoots and seemed to have lost his will to live. “My mom meant everything to me,” Adams said. “When she died it felt like the world was moving at its normal speed but I was creeping along like a turtle.” The Mississippi born fashion designer said he didn’t have the energy or desire to do the things that had been part of his routine for as long as he could remember. “ I didn’t want to sketch, I didn’t want to sew. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep. I didn’t even want to work out and I’m usually in the gym two hours a day six days a week. But when mom died all of that was gone.” Adams, who stands six feet tall with a muscular build continued through a serious downward spiral where he began experimenting with drugs and engaging in unprotected sex. “ I didn’t care about anything,” he said. Eventually, Adams sought professional help at the urging of family and friends who cared about him. His diagnosis was serious. He wasn’t just depressed; he was also suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and crippling anxiety attacks. With the help of therapy and medication, Adams was able to pull his life back together from mental health issues that severely threatened his safety.
SHINING a SPOTLIGHT
ON
Black Men and Mental Illness 12 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
While Adams mustered up the courage to battle his emotional demons many of his peers continue to suffer in silence. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), African-Americans are 20 percent more likely to have serious mental health problems than the general population. Studies also suggest that the pattern is even more troubling for black men because they are more likely to be unemployed or exposed to violence, drug use and other stressors like HIV which lead to higher rates of post traumatic stress disorder and depression. In addition, NAMI says what’s even more disturbing is the rising number of suicides among black boys for reasons ranging from family and community stigmatization of mental health illness to lack of adequate insurance. Today, Adams spends much of his time debunking the myth that Black men should be able to handle each and every problem that happens in our lives. Adams says he is convinced that the day will soon come when those who seek mental health treatment are seen as strong, not weak. Depressed? Need To Talk? 24-HOUR NATIONAL CRISIS HELPLINE Anonymous & Confidential, All Services FREE of charge 601-713-4357
By Lawayne Childrey
| UNLEASHED IN DC
which most frequently target people of color, LGBTQ individuals, and the poor. Those of us who are two or more of those things, we suffer the most. But none of this was fixed during the past eight years when we had a Democrat as our president, so we can’t blame the election. It also wasn’t fixed when slavery was outlawed, when the Montgomery Bus Boycott ended, when civil rights legislation was signed, or when Viola Davis won an Emmy. Progress is never that easy. Now we learn daily about reports of violence and vandalism against minorities, much of it done in the name of the newly elected president. Marginalized people, who already feel unjustly targeted by law enforcement, are now being harassed and attacked by their fellow citizens. These bigots may feel emboldened to become more visible, but they have always been here.
By Rayceen Pendarvis, HRH
W
e got too comfortable. We forgot about the struggle. We forgot that freedom is a journey and not simply a destination. We forgot that there are people who want to reverse everything we have achieved and seize everything we have gained. We should not rationalize. We should not distract ourselves. We should not ignore what’s happening. It is time to be uncomfortable.
The lyrics of A Tribe Called Quest’s new song “We the People…” could not be more relevant. This election demonstrated to some of us that many Americans think Black folks and Mexicans “must go” and that the ways of “Muslims and gays” are hated by many. A large percentage of voters seem to view racism as a personality quirk rather than a character flaw.
We got too comfortable. We thought that having a Black family in the White House meant some fundamental change had taken place. We thought that ridding the military of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” and making marriage equality the law of the land meant that we had momentum on our side. We thought that having a Latina Supreme Court Justice and more women on the Supreme Court than ever before meant that the trajectory had been set. We got too comfortable. Whether you voted or not, we will have a new president and a Republican administration in 2017. This will impact all Americans, and maybe none more than the residents of Washington, DC, in which the US Congress has particular influence. Regardless of where you live in our country, don’t become apathetic, complacent, or too comfortable. The 2018 mid-term elections are less than 2 years away, when we will again vote for our US Representatives as well as various state and local offices. There will also be off-year elections and special elections. Whether it’s voting for governor, a state representative, city council, or school board, educate yourself and become involved by volunteering or becoming a candidate. If you think the Electoral College is unjust, urge your state legislature to pass the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, a law which, if passed by a sufficient number of states, would usurp the Electoral College and in effect elect the person who wins the popular vote as the next president. Accept reality, but don’t accept everything that’s given to you. Don’t get comfortable. Don’t capitulate. Don’t relent. Don’t surrender. Don’t concede defeat. Don’t give up. Rayceen Pendarvis, known as the Queen of the Shameless Plug and the Goddess of DC, is an entertainer, activist, and host of “The Ask Rayceen Show” in Washington, DC. Follow @AskRayceen and @RayceenHRH for live Twitter chats on January 4 and February 1, 2017.
We have to contend with the School to Prison Pipeline, the Prison Industrial Complex, a biased criminal justice system, plus employment and housing discrimination, all of 13 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
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| MSM
IT'S
GREEK TO ME By Eddie Wiley
A
round this time of the year, a lot of Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLOs) are celebrating their founding date. From their inception, they’ve talked about unity, brotherhood and sisterhood, all of which is rightfully theirs to boast. However, it’s not always the case when it comes to those of us in the LGBTQ Community. That Greek unity of the Divine 9 can sometimes be reserved for the heterosexuals. Now, I can’t sit here and say that all BGLOs are excluding to LGBTQ folks. But it’s been a personal experience I’ve seen more frequently than not. If you are LGBTQ or even perceived to be, then your chances at pledging are slim to none. We know plenty same-gender loving (SGL) people in these organizations, but we also know that a good portion of them have a different persona when conducting Greek business. For the rare Greek brotha/sista who can live their full queer and proud life, I applaud you! It takes courage that many don’t possess. So what happens to those of us who are living our queer lives in public and want to pledge? Do we accept the L and move on, or do we keep trying until they just have to let us in? Well, luckily we have our own options. I’m sure there have been many before, but traces of Gay Greek Life (GGL) have been heard about since the 70’s. Although they don the name “gay”, these organizations are much more inclusive of all members of the LGBTQ community. The GGL was created as a safe haven for the LGBTQ people who were afraid to pledge, had been turned down, or were in a BGLO and felt excluded. Over time, these organizations have established their own sense of pride, and membership includes people who had never even dreamt of pledging a BGLO. The growth of the GGL has extended its own sense of unity, brotherhood and sisterhood.
saved because of the GGL -- mine being one of them. One thing that I encourage is being more welcoming across the board. Because “reading” and “cliques” have become common in both the BGLO and GGL, some people are afraid to pledge either one. I spoke to some members of my organization about advocacy and the topic turned into inclusiveness. I have friends who were so shy that they would never say a word and even felt excluded at a GGL function. While we can read all day, it can be fearsome for many. It’s not to say stop reading because we know these meetings would be a snooze fest otherwise. I’m just saying let’s grab that shy brotha or sista and bring them in on the reading, even if you have to be their liberation and teach the baby how to read and clap back. You’ll be glad you did! I wrote this not as a jab at the BGLO, GGL, or even naysayers. I wrote this to encourage inclusion, unity, brotherhood, and sisterhood regardless of whether or not we wear letters. We have to take power and uplift our community. With so many other people praying on our demise, we can’t afford to do the same thing to each other. One word that I always speak is LOVE. Our words have power, and so do our actions. Speak more genuine love into your life and into the lives of those around you. Then watch the love you receive.
The GGL has offered a sense of family for those LGBTQ persons who haven’t felt as if they’ve ever had family or friends. The GGL was established for those of us who maybe had a switch in our walk, or those of us who preferred to wear Jordan’s instead of heels, or those of us who just love the same gender. We have been offered a chance to “belong” to something more than ourselves. As a member of the GGL, I have witnessed individuals come in broken and downtrodden but after the process become uplifted and regarded as a leader or advocate in their community. I have seen brothas and sistas who were down on their luck benefit from their fraternity/sorority members coming together to lend support spiritually, emotionally, financially and physically. It’s a beautiful sight to behold. While some of the LGBTQ community don’t believe in GGL, it’s time to cut that “MESS” out. I’ve met a lot of GGL members who never even thought to pledge a BGLO. It’s not a right of passage for us to have pledged one of the D9. We respect the D9 and deserve the same respect. Don’t mock our organizations because we’re not a part of the Divine 9. The two don’t belong in the same category. It’s like comparing Beyoncé to Celine Dion. You just can’t do it. (And those of you who want to compare, just turn the page now... #imDoneWithYou.) GGL was created for people like you because some of y’all had to lie about your real selves to get ya’ letters -- and if you ain’t got no letters, then really shush it! I can’t begin to tell you the number of lives that have been 17 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
ARTIST SPOTLIGHT |
& PINK PIONEERS
T
WHIRLWINDS
he last time that I saw my mother, she was in a hospital bed. Earlier that day, my sister called me and left a message on my voicemail saying our mother had experienced a heart attack. She hadn’t, but I didn’t get the chance to ask what happened. Before I could, the conversation with my mother drifted to a previous hospital visit – the day my twin brother and I were born. Our father had arrived late to the hospital.
“He cursed you both,” my mother told me. “He brought two pink blankets. I asked him why. He said, ‘They are going to grow up and be punks.’”
stopped wearing long-sleeved dress shirts and black pants and wore neon T-shirts and above-the-knee shorts with cowboy boots. I stopped picking out gray, black, and brown clothing and grabbed floral patterns and corals. Now with the mainstream’s fascination with beards, I find myself attracted to gender binary extremes – feminine men with beards, drag queens with beards, and women with beards. My favorite personality who embodies fluidity is Andre J, who appeared on the November 2007 cover of French Vogue with supermodel Carolyn Murphy. His signature look is a long, silky weave, bold red lip, fur coat, and scruffy beard.
“Being gay is not a curse,” I told my mother. “It’s not a blessing either,” she said. I walked out shortly afterward; that was five years ago. In the time that passed since, I moved to California. I often think about that conversation with my mother and how it affected me. The word “curse” followed me everywhere. While my brother and I were growing up, she prayed that the pink whirlwind would not snatch us up and alter our DNA. Then she targeted me after my brother started dating girls in middle school. She nagged me about male-specific behaviors, activities, and thinking. I was not manly enough when compared to her archetypes of masculinity. As I transitioned from adolescence into early adulthood, I embraced fluidity between the masculine and the feminine with the help of friends and thrift stores. The more comfortable I became in my skin, the more I experimented with clothing. I 18 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
In an attempt to free myself from the expectations of a Black male, I have grown out my beard, embraced femininity, and added gender neutral items to my wardrobe, especially pink clothing. I thought of my mother in her hospital bed the first time that I decided to buy a pink shirt. I could imagine what she would say if she were standing next to me in the shop. Her voice followed me home and prevented me from wearing the shirt three months after purchasing it. For all the parents in the world who do not celebrate their LGBT children, I wrote a warning letter to them in the form of a novel called, A Love Like Blood. The book is about a father-son relationship and what a child will endure for a parent’s acceptance. I wrote it to challenge and change minds. Recently, I attended an LGBT youth conference at the University of Southern California, and I almost cried seeing hundreds of brown boys in pink and
Victor Yates
Lambda Literary Award Winner
girls in camouflage. It was more beautiful than any Pride event that I have attended. I taught a writing workshop with about twenty students. I felt privileged to share my experience and expertise with the next generation of LGBT writers. Because of that experience, I have grown further into my queerness and have created various queer writing communities amongst my students. In the New Year, I want there to be more celebrations for pioneers in the Black LGBT community. Without the pioneers and older brave souls (whom history has forgotten), my students and I would not be allowed to celebrate our differences.
DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE
BEFORE THE FAMILY SAFETY CENTER
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magine you are the victim of abuse. You have lived in silent suffering for years until you finally get the courage to reach out for help. You go to the first agency you know of, but you do not qualify for their services. They give you another agency to try. No luck there either. You drive all over town from agency to agency desperate and confused. After multiple closed doors, you might go to a relative and try to get by with no assistance. Or worse, you decide that life was easier with your abuser and return.
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This was a sad reality for many before the creation of the Family Safety Center (FSC). As in other communities, there were even fewer options for members of the LGBTQ community. FSC has been open since 2011, and our commitment is to breaking down these barriers and obstacles for victims. We assign each victim a Navigator, a member of our staff who helps to navigate this complex system of resources. Your Navigator will assess your danger level, provide a safety plan to protect you and your children, assist you with filing an Order of Protection if desired, and make all necessary referrals. We know that no one agency can do it all, so we have 34 partner agencies, 13 of which are co-located on-site, to meet the diverse needs of victims. All of our services are open and inclusive for ANY victim. Our emergency housing is among the first of its kind to use a combination of hotels and apartment units to house traditionally underserved victims. We have an LGBTQ Liaison on staff, and The Love Doesn’t Hurt Fund can assist with the financial needs of LGBTQ victims.
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Domestic violence does not discriminate, and neither does FSC. Our staff and partners will welcome you and ensure that you have access to a variety of resources to break the cycle of violence. Learn more at Familysafetycenter.org or come to 1750 Madison (6th Floor) if you are ready to take the first step towards freedom from abuse.
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By Jordan Moore,
Family Safety Center, Communication Director 19 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
HEALTH & FITNESS |
& S T R A T S E S FAL
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S E L A T Y FAIR
olt rdie H o G y B
t’s that time of the year when all the world is abuzz with the promise of a new year and we begin to build impossible expectations of resolution that will “change our lives forever.” “On January 1, I will: eat better, go to the gym, lose weight, etcetera...”
You cannot simply add something to a life already in motion and expect a seamless fit. You must replace habits that are already there. Let go of the fairy tales; none of your changes will be instantaneous. Some will take time to stick, you will cheat, you may not keep your resolution, and yes you may fail. Now that we’ve gone through all that, let’s find our way to success: 1. Identify that big change you want to make: get stronger, lose weight, be healthier. 2. Assess your day-to-day and month-to-month. Find out where you’re spending time, where you’re wasting time, and what can be changed or eliminated. Then write out -- yes, pen and paper -- your perfect day, the day when you have achieved your goal. Compare your perfect day with your average day so that you can be clear about what needs to be added and subtracted in order for you to get to that perfect day. 3. Separate your task into small bites. If your goal is to lose weight, you may have to add exercise, change your diet, and get more rest. Take one thing at a time. For instance, first find time to exercise, and then move on to modifying your diet. 4. Be honest with yourself. Only you know what motivates you. If you know you don’t like the gym, don’t go get a membership. There is more than one way to achieve your goal. Try going out dancing (without the drinks) or walking through a neighborhood you may want to live in
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someday. If you’re like me, you may be an exhibitionist. Get somewhere where you can show out. 5. Be assertive -- make time. You already make time for things that do not move you forward or improve your life. You simply have to be strong enough to know what’s best for you, and choose it. Create an accountability club with two or three people that you trust to hold you responsible for your commitment. 6. Accountability is most important. Whatever you do to hold yourself accountable will determine your success. Give yourself consequences, and put someone you trust in control of your punishment. Make it count. 7. Leave your comfort zone, or change your environment. Change your room around or get a haircut. Any change you make will help reprogram yourself to accept change in a positive way rather than as some daunting task. 8. Make it a production. We are in the social media era. Take video, take pics, create a journal, or compile a simple playlist. Set yourself up like your favorite celebrity or hero. This can be a way to take accountability. You can’t let down your fans! 9. Reward yourself. It can be as simple as an ice cream afternoon or a trip to Paris. Be sure to mark your milestones. Set yourself up for success with a sound plan and honesty with self. Take this journey with me, and share your story at GordieOntheGO.com. Make your resolution a lifestyle -- not a relapse.
| POLITICS
TRUMP HEADS AN ICEBERG That Will Bring Unforeseeable Destruction
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his past Fall, two candidates competed in what became a presidential parade. We all stood by, watching the motorcades of malarkey and floats of fallacy go by. When all the charades ceased, many of us were left with a disheartened reality: Trump would be our next president. An individual whose campaign was deep-fried in discriminatory rhetoric would now hold the highest office in the country. While that may be difficult to consume, it won’t prove to be the most challenging. More distasteful and problematic for queer, female, and/or black/brown persons than Trump’s presidency are the individuals that he has appointed and proposed to operate his presidency. To better understand this, we’ll think of this collective of individuals as an iceberg. The presidential candidate is the visible tip of the iceberg. During the race, we all found ourselves focused on Trump, the tip of the iceberg. While we couldn’t foresee who these individuals were that make up this iceberg preElection Day, we should’ve known that Trump would enlist individuals to carry out his threats and promises. Instead, we mistook the visible tip of the iceberg for one single individual’s outlandish “ramblings.” Now, let’s meet some of the heavy hitters of this iceberg. Jeff Sessions, Trump’s number one advisor during his campaign, was offered Attorney General. The Alabama politician was denied federal judgeship because his former colleagues testified that Sessions used the n-word and verbally supported the Ku Klux Klan. In similar taste, Michael T. Flynn, who called Islamism a vicious cancer, was offered National Security Advisor. With Islamism being unfoundedly equaled to being Muslim, Trump’s Nazi-natured threat to ban/vet Muslims is very possible. Steve Bannon, a white nationalist, was offered Chief
Strategist and Senior Advisor. Bannon heads Breitbart News, a website that supports and breeds misogynist, xenophobic, and racist thought. Once charged for domestic battery against his wife, he believes in genetic superiority and feels voting should be limited to property owners (a pre-civil-rights sentiment). In a nearly laughable move, Ben Carson was offered Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. A black Republican, it’s painfully clear here that Carson is being used to create a bridge between Trump and black people. With Carson criticizing the ban on discrimination in the housing market and the requirement of local communities to actively pursue fair housing, he could reverse progress made on anti-housing discrimination laws during the Obama administration. He also blames high wages for black unemployment, counteracting black people’s fight for equal and fair pay. Additionally, he opposes Obamacare which reduced the number of uninsured blacks from 24.1% to 16.1%. With blacks having about a five year shorter life expectancy than white Americans, his opposition is a threat to black lives. This isn’t surprising coming from a man who said the BLM movement “caused strife.” Tom Price, a Tea Party member, was offered Health and Human Services Secretary, overseeing Obamacare, Medicare, and Medicaid. Price, like other Tea Party members, is fiercely against abortion, Obamacare, and same-sex marriage, calling marriage equality day a “sad day for marriage.” Putting words into action, he voted against legislation that prevented job discrimination based on sexual orientation. It’s evident that his service will be limited to certain humans. In a counterintuitive move, billionaire Betsy DeVos, a privatization tycoon, was offered Education Secretary. Deemed “the most anti-public education nominee” by educators, DeVos leads the movement of privatizing public schools, making them for-profit and foregoing equity and quality for increased
shareholder profit. The only people profiting here are the investors/shareholders, not the black, brown, and working-class children that mostly attend public schools. Leading these individuals is VP Mike Pence. A supporter of conversion therapy for gays, defunding treatment for HIV/AIDS patients, in 2015, he passed one of the nation’s harshest religious freedom laws, or anti-gay laws. He also signed the most abortion-restrictive regulations in the nation. He’s also dismissed the problem of police brutality against targeted black/brown people and, as governor of Indiana, practically spearheaded the return of segregation by leading the way in establishing charter schools. If Trump were removed as President during his term, this man would be running our country. Former KKK wizard David Duke not only supports Trump’s picks but claims they are “the first steps toward taking America back.” This cosign alone is a clear warning of the crash that is to come for people like us. There is a bit of hope, however. In two years, on November 6, 2018, midterm elections will be held and we will have an opportunity to take back the now Republican House and Senate. Doing so will not only paralyze the power of this collective but ensure that, for some time, no more individuals like those in the collective will be put into power.
By Ami Dudley 21 TUVMAG.COM | JAN+FEB 2017
CATHOLIC MINISTRY |
MOVING Forward Together By Beth Trouy
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or more than half of the American people, it was agonizingly harder to be thankful in November and merry in December this year. Not simply because the favored candidate for president of the United States lost, but because many of us felt that hate won. The platform that rode on the coattails of crude divisive language, vulgarity, misogyny and xenophobia and hate rhetoric actually won the vote. We spent the first several days and weeks following the election in a fog of disbelief. We questioned how well we really knew our community, neighbors, co-workers and yes, even our family. We were told it had nothing to do with hate or the occasional locker room talk. “It was about the issues,” they said. Like it or not, we could not separate the two. Now, communities were, and are, afraid and anxious about the New Year. Many have chosen to distance themselves from the subject altogether because it has caused too much division. People have unfriended each other on Facebook because they could no longer speak kindly to each other or communicate constructively. Families have spent the holidays apart. To some degree, we all have “built a few walls” so we could cope. So where do we stand with resolutions and hopes for the imminent New Year? The leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Francis, gives us some direction. He says, “In God’s heart there are no enemies. We are the ones who raise walls, build barriers, and label people.” This statement applies to us as much as it does to them. If we are opposed to walls that separate countries and divide people, then we too must not separate ourselves from those who oppose us. “Our Father does not wait for us to be good before He loves the world.
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He does not wait for us to be a little bit better or more perfect before He loves us.” We still must love those who choose not to love us. We must continue to pray for those who persecute others. “How many wounds grow deeper due to this epidemic of hostility and violence which leaves its mark on the flesh of many of the defenseless because their voice is weak and silenced by this pathology of indifference?” We cannot stand quietly and wash our hands of this present administration while wishing for change to come in four years. We must speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. “The virus of polarization and animosity permeates our way of thinking, feeling and acting. We are not immune from this and we need to take care lest such attitudes find a place in our hearts.” There is no room for hate, fear, mistrust or revenge inside us. We must not become the very thing we fear. Barack Obama, in speaking to his daughters following the election results had very similar words of wisdom: “You should anticipate that at any given moment there’s going to be flare-ups of bigotry that you may have to confront, or may be inside you and you have to vanquish. And it doesn’t stop. . .You don’t get into a fetal position about it. You don’t start worrying about apocalypse. You say, ‘OK, where are the places where I can push to keep it moving forward?’” We have faced oppression by our government before and “this too shall pass.” May we all welcome the New Year with faith, hope and love. Let’s take the words of Pope Francis and Obama with us into 2017. We will “keep it moving forward” together and stand united in diversity, dignity, equality and justice for ALL people. That’s who we are.
| SPIRITUALITY
T BREAKING
OUT
RELIGION, AFFIRMING GAYNESS By Dr. Darnell Gooch, Jr.
Cathedral of Praise Church of Memphis, Inc. Pastor/Founder
he relationship between religion and homosexuality has created many wars. Antiquated teachings and doctrines have caused many negative viewpoints concerning the acceptance of an individual’s sexual orientation. Religion has condemned individuals who share same-sex sexual experiences, whether emotional, romantic or sexual attractions. Some individuals’ religious attitude about same gender loving individuals has been downright prehistoric because of the church’s biased theological stance on homosexuality. Religious tradition has rejected homosexual acts but has a quasi tolerance of the homosexual orientation, as in “Love the Sinner Hate the Sin” or “You can direct our choir as long as you don’t expose your sexual orientation.” The Christian church and its religious interpretation of the sacred scriptures have voiced an opinion that homosexuality is a sin that is contrary to the natural law. However, I believe that God is calling us to offer a critique on what has been the traditional theological opinion of some by “breaking out religion” in order to affirm all, including sexual orientation. After all, what’s normal and natural to heterosexuals may not be normal and natural to someone who identifies as a homosexual. Therefore, to interpret Leviticus 18:22 and deem it law to a homosexual would not apply because what’s normal and natural for a gay man or a lesbian woman would be to lie with the same sex. My concerns with religious traditional perspectives on homosexuality and other theological positions are: How does the Christian church and its religion tolerate “homosexual people” but reject our culture? How can religion offer God’s redemptive grace to me to live in my truth but then refuse self-avowed practices of homosexuals? What seems like a contradiction is how religion offers me love and liberation but oppresses me with damnation, fire and brimstone. If the church and its religion can’t celebrate same gender loving individuals in affirmation, basic human rights and civil liberties then why in the hell would same gender loving individuals want to celebrate the church and its religion? If the church and its religion can accept homosexual people, then most certainly it can accept the legitimacy of the homosexual person and culture. Regardless of archaic religious dogma and traditions, our sexual orientation is a gift from God and not a choice. I know of no one whose desire is to become a victim of religious and systematic oppression. What I do know is that I have a moral choice and responsibility to live my life not to the social construction and patriarchal society of an antiquated religious tradition that calls me an abomination, frowns upon my ability to love who I want to and rejects my ability to be anointed, spiritual, religious and gay at the same time. If we really take seriously Genesis 1:27, that we are the Imago Dei that’s made in the very image of God, or Psalm 139:14 that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, or Jeremiah 1:5 that in my mother’s womb God formed me and knitted me together that then suggests that if you have a problem with the image that I am reflecting, my fearfulness or wonderfulness or how I was formed and knitted then your real problem is NOT with ME it is with GOD! Therefore, it is my conjecture that if one peels through the layers of social construction, patriarchy, homophobia and other rhetoric that is laced with bias, then is it my contention that one can still be Pro-Religious and Pro-Gay simultaneously.
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PERSONAL GROWTH |
Life FIGHT
All My
I had to
Three Surefire Ways to Win in 2017 By: Lakara Foster, M.Ed, Spiritual Coach
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here is a very popular and memorable monologue in the acclaimed movie The Color Purple. The scene occurs between the characters Miss Celie and Miss Sophia and takes place after Miss Celie illadvised Miss Sophia’s husband, Harpo, on how to domestically tame his wife. Celie tells Harpo to “beat her”. And he does. But the ever sassy Sophia doesn’t just lie down and submit to being beaten, she actually fights back as she proclaims she has been doing her whole life. I am positively certain that the year 2016 consulted with the year 2015 on what it could do to break our spirits, pulverize our souls, test our faith, and make us question the very existence of the God of our Understanding. I believe 2015’s answer was “Beat’em.” Thus, for most of us, it feels like we have been in the fight of our lives for the last 365 days. As a collective we felt the loss of some of our favorite celebrities (Prince, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali, etc…); individually we lost family members, jobs, lovers, and long standing friendships. Then, to top it off, half of the country lost a presidential election where we now fear what will happen to the basic human rights that our Constitution guaranteed us. It has undoubtedly been a tough year. Maybe tough is too light of a word considering some of the major events that have shaped this year. Maybe the word tough doesn’t underscore the pain, trauma, and defeat some of us felt over the past 12 months. Maybe tough doesn’t express the collective grief we have shared as a community. Maybe the word tough just isn’t going to cut it. But what is true now and has always been is “when the going gets tough, the tough get going!” I know that many things are out of my control but within the personal trials I experienced in 2016, I learned three powerful
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lessons for my 2017 journey:
Tell The Truth
1. We are accustomed to wearing the mask. We cover up our frustrations with food, alleviate our anxiety with alcohol and antidepressants, and pretend our pain away. Our unconscious response to, “How are you?” has become a robotic, “I’m fine” when the truth is sometimes we aren’t fine. In fact, sometimes, we are far from it. 2016 was traumatic and the most freeing experience I had was admitting it. In 2017 the greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of telling the truth…about everything. Life is messy. Life is hard. Life can also be joyful and wonderful if and when we choose to live it authentically.
Become “Self” Centered.
2. 2016 taught me that, while it is important to fight for others, we cannot forget to fight for ourselves. Learn the difference between prayer (talking to God) and meditation (listening to God) and do them every day. When we center ourselves at the start of our day we invite divine energy to co-create with us. This reduces stress and allows us to be more focused. When we are centered we are better able to care for those around us.
Get in the Ring and Fight!
3. One of the most prolific figures in the world of boxing was Muhammad Ali and one of his most legendary wins came against George Foreman, who was the undefeated reigning heavyweight champion in 1974. Foreman, who was used to knocking his opponents out early, admits to being arrogant and certain that Ali would meet the same fate as the others. But by the 6th round Ali was still standing and Foreman admitted to growing worried because he was showing no
signs of giving up and continued ducking, weaving, and bouncing off the ropes while Foreman was losing his steam. Ali knocked Foreman down in the 8th round and won one of the most talked about fights in boxing history. Yes, 2016 may have arrogantly won a few rounds in your life but the fight is far from over. There are still many rounds left. So have a seat in your corner, surround yourself with a team who will encourage you, wipe away the blood, sweat, and tears, and get you ready for the next round. Then, come out swinging! Toward the movie’s end the central character Celie, who has been assaulted, battered, and berated for the majority of her marriage, has finally found the courage to stand up to her violent husband. In his one last attempt to belittle her, he tells her she is poor, ugly, a woman, and nothing at all. 2016 left most of us feeling dejected but also hopeful and ready for a new journey and, to 2016, I say the last words that Celie says to her husband as she is riding into freedom; “I’m poor, I’m Black, I may even be ugly; but, dear God, I’m Here! I’m Here!” Lakara Foster, M.Ed is a spiritual coach from New Orleans, La and resides in Atlanta, Ga. She is the Founder/CEO of the She Speaks! Institute For Women whose mission is to educate, empower, and enlighten women in the areas of economics, entrepreneurship, spiritual well-being, career development, and healthy lifestyles. She loves Jesus, wine, and chocolate…IN THAT ORDER.
| PERSONAL GROWTH
It’s Better To Be Strange To Others
Than To Be A Stranger To Yourself
J’ahmad Kelly THE EMPOWERMENT COACH
BRANDING AND MARKETING GENIUS | CERTIFIED LIFE COACH
“If you loved yourself and made yourself a priority, what would your life look like?” That is a question that I ask all my clients. That is the most important question that we could ask ourselves day to day, to make sure that we are staying on track with the vision for our success. So let me dig into that question more deeply: If you loved yourself and made yourself a priority, what would your life look like? What would you start doing? What would you stop doing? Where would you call home? Who would you spend your time with? Who would you cut out of your life? (Insert your own question here.) Lucille Ball said, “Love yourself first and EVERYTHING falls in line.” That is the key to building the life and living the life that you desire. Loving yourself first is about being completely authentic. We grow up being told to take on so many different identities like race, gender, religion, and education, even right down to our relationships, sexuality and sexual preference. We are always being told from someone else’s experience how we should be, do or act. “Little black boys from Arkansas don’t sew, they play football.” Those little comments about our identity stick with us, whether they feel right or not. They stick with us so forcefully that we begin to hide who we really are or stop caring about who we really are. Being authentic is not about being audacious, but about being the author of your
own life. So stop listening to the shouldn’ts and shoulds that come from other people. You have to write your own story. Start writing your story your way. That is your life’s purpose and your ministry. Nothing that anyone says -- whether advice with good intention, negative remarks out of jealousy, or random suggestions inspired by fear- should define who you are. Those statements will only limit you. You’ll hear all the time these limitations on how a Christian, Black Woman, Entrepreneur, Top, or Educated Gay is supposed to act. But you are the writer of your own story, so do not take on the identities people force on you. They cannot tell you how a “Black man” is supposed to be. They cannot tell you how “Tops” are supposed to act. They cannot tell you who you are supposed to love, how to dress, how to live, or how to preach! Only you can define who you are. Stop waiting on someone to give you permission to be yourself. You don’t need their permission. Give yourself the permission to live freely and don’t worry about the people who won’t like you. Being yourself is the only way to attract the right people who will love you for an eternity. Embrace those who embrace you. In the end, those will be the people who matter the most and will help you succeed. And that is why... It’s always better to be strange to others, than be a stranger to yourself. So love yourself and everything about you. Enjoy your journey of writing your own story and defining your own experiences. I am J’ahmad Kelly, The Renowned Teacher of Empowered Living who knows that only I can define what that means.
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here are many lessons that I have learned from all the hurt and hate I have experienced in my life. I now know that I have to train people to treat me how I deserve to be treated. In addition, I have to check the ignorance in other people when I see them mistreating others, notwithstanding consequences. I have to be steadfast in my resolve to not have my individuality overlooked, my identity impugned, or my dignity taken, as well as do the same for others. I learned to love the “me” that I was designed and destined to be. I no longer diminish my greatness for mediocrity. I speak my mind even when I have unpopular opinion. I advocate for others and my
BLACK
PRO& GAY
How I Found a Happy Medium By Marques Lipsey
self at all times without fear of retribution. I love my people. By default, I am Pro-Gay and Pro-Black. My rights to decide to be whom and what I wanted were terminated early by people who hadn’t had the right to do so. People walked around saying don’t judge a book by its cover, but those same people judged my cover and never opened my book. I know now that I was deprived of my rights to individuality. It took 30 years for me to become comfortable with myself. I had to discontinue to allow other people to make me feel small. They were in no position to accept me. I had to teach them to respect me. I freed myself from the maleficence of shame and strongholds of doctrines because that bondage was much deeper than chains and shackles. That’s what we do as people, we cleave to masks and facades as if people can’t see past them and see
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us for who we really are. I committed to retraining my brain to realize that even in a world where being black is looked at as a blight and being gay is seen as an abomination that we don’t have to suppress our true and authentic selves. I realized that I could be the spawn of a marriage between my blackness and my sexuality. My race and my sexuality did not have to be the black sheep offspring of rhetoric and indoctrination. They could co-exist. James Baldwin, who, himself, had been too black for gay people and too gay for black people, brilliantly penned in The Fire Next Time that, “We are controlled here by our confusion, far more than we know, and the American dream has therefore become something much more closely resembling a nightmare, on the private, domestic, and international levels. Privately, we cannot stand our lives and dare not examine them.” Because of this confusion, gay and black people have been repeatedly and historically oppressed and as a result, we’ve systematically been taught to oppress others, but mostly ourselves. There is always some entity that wants to quell individuals who do not belong to the dominant culture and are not afforded some privilege because of it. Homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, sexism, and racism disguise their true core, thus allowing their canons to proliferate. Consequently, I woke up and concluded that homophobia and racism were interwoven into the very fabric of our world, and I must help to awaken my people to the see the light and recognize the pervasiveness of these ideologies or we would continue to live in the dark and perpetuate a culture of hate and fear mongering. We have to understand that our blackness and our gayness are negated by our aim to be included in this Divided States of America, a society that is deeply and traditionally imbued with the white racist, heterosexist hierarchy that has consistently subjugated the masses. Whiteness is so epistemologically entrenched within the very crux of what we know and think that we cannot distinguish our own predilection to exact Eurocentric, heterosexist standards upon ourselves as oppressed people. This society in which we live thrives off socialistic and capitalistic ideals saturated in a historicity of an identity that is counterintuitive to progress. As a result, equality becomes as elusive as butterflies in a windstorm. I submit to you that there is a great disparity and it will always exist because we have bought into our own inferiority. Since we accept our inferior status, the world will continue to proffer us a plethora of prevarications that preserve the enslavement of our minds, bodies, and souls. Do not allow the election of a man to the highest office in the land whose rhetoric has demonized, devalued, demoralized, and dehumanized people and cultures for over 18 months to dissuade your contribution to humanity. Together we as black people, gay people, and other minorities can drive out darkness if we stand in solidarity in order that our lights shine even brighter.
| FASHION
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ocky Creations is an apparel brand founded in Memphis, TN featuring clothing to match the cockiness of its wearers. The five-letter word is usually misconstrued as RUDE, but this apparel allows wearers to bring focus to themselves without speaking a word. “Don’t Limit Your Style, Design It” is a slogan Cocky Creations stands behind given that the brand not only prints items but custom cuts and sews items by customer request. The brand was launched in 2013 by Angelica “Gelly” Hamlett, who always wanted to stand out in a crowd and hated to see someone else in the same gear as her. So after beginning to innovate t-shirts for herself, she decided to delve into the fashion industry. Since then, Cocky Creations has appeared in multiple local fashion shows, as well as in different cities, including being featured in Oakland, California’s Queer Fashion Week during September 2016. Cocky Creations also takes part in Cleveland Kidz Annual Fashion Show and was featured at the 2014 What is Butch? Fashion Extravaganza in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The brand’s mission is to let one’s clothes be one’s strength, encouraging all to live bold and be different.
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TRANS-MOVEMENT |
Mental ILLNESS By Renae Taylor
A
s a trans person of color, I suffer from depression and social anxiety. I push myself every day to get out and keep busy because I decided I couldn’t be a hermit. When I was almost killed some years ago, I was unable to get around by myself because of my injuries. So for a while, I didn’t see my friends or go out in public alone. As a result, I ended up with what my doctor called cabin fever, which made me overly aware, overly anxious, and overly cautious of who was around me. I had to re-learn how to trust people other than my immediate family, and to this day I still experience a lot of trouble with doing so. My defenses are always up to keep from getting hurt. I’m happy to say I’m in a good place in my life, and that I’m not medicated now. But this time of year is when my depression is at its worst because celebrating holidays reminds me of the family members I’m missing that have passed on. Because of my own struggles and experiences, I know mental illness is real. I recently learned from one of my friends about ableist language. That’s means using words like “crazy” which carry a stigma and demean people with actual mental issues or mental illnesses. So I swore off using such words in my life because I know how it feels to be labeled for something you can’t control. Sometimes people suffering from mental illness have erratic behavior, which is often a cry for help. I sometimes have very high moments, and I sometimes have very low moments. At times, I can be moody or manic. My family knows I suffer from depression, and they know the signs of me going into an episode. There have been moments when I have to push myself to get out of bed or just to go outside and see the world. Sometimes I don’t have an appetite, but I know I must eat to live. As a black person, I never thought it was wrong to seek help. I’ve had plenty of counseling sessions where I had to pour out my feelings to someone I didn’t know, and I am a better person for it. Just sharing my thoughts was therapeutic for me. I recommend that if you don’t have someone to talk to about your problems or feelings, go to counseling or tell your physician about what is going on. Medication might be the answer. As a minority, I know there is a stigma attached to mental illness. We must break this cycle and show there isn’t any harm in seeking help or treatment. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones.
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| ONE TO WATCH IN NEW YORK
D’Jamel SPEAKS ON
PERSONAL GROWTH
J
amel Young, known to the world as D’Jamel, is an intelligent, black, transgender male entrepreneur with new ventures in the entertainment business. Born April 7, 1987 in Fort Walton Beach, FL, D’Jamel was raised in Brooklyn, NY where he explored and discovered his individuality, acknowledging very early in his childhood that he did not identify with his assigned sex at birth: female. By 8th grade, he had fully committed to presenting himself as a masculine energy. September 12, 2009, marked the start of his medical transition at age 22. In 2015, D’Jamel was one of the five men of trans experience starring in the new YouTube web series “Eden’s Garden”, for which one of goals is to define and convey for audiences the distinctions between gender identity and sexuality. Like D’Jamel in real life, his character, Papo, is a bisexual transgender male confronting the daily struggles and experiences that come with being black, urban and transgender, such as navigating gay relationships with cisgender men. Further exploring his passion for the art of acting, D’Jamel also appeared in an upcoming independent
short film titled “Spot”, as well as in a lead role for the stage play “Dimensions”. More recently, D’Jamel landed the cover photo for “On Christopher Street: Transgender Stories”, a book shot and published by world renowned photographer Mark Selinger as a reflection of the ever growing and changing area of New York fondly known as The Village, which many in the LGBT community have embraced as a safe place to find their individuality. A Military Intelligence Corps Army veteran who currently manages his own massage therapy practice in New York, “Angelic Hands by D’Jamel,” he is also founder and CEO of Transl8tion.us, an online platform which launched in April 2016 and currently has over 500 users. Wanting to design and provide a platform for trans-identifying individuals to be visible, loved and celebrated, D’Jamel launched Transl8tion.us as a non-judgmental online social-mingle community for gender-fluid and sexuallyfluid individuals to express, explore, and redefine their sexuality with a sex-positive attitude. In addition to encouraging users to uniquely customize their profiles to reflect the TRANSL8TION of their unique identities, D’Jamel also hosts and organizes Transl8tion parties and
Photographer: Geisha K.
events to celebrate our community in a safe and nonjudgemental space. With his motto, “Aspire to Inspire,” D’Jamel will continue to represent and lead by example for his community, for his peers, and for the human population. He hopes to encourage other individuals of trans experience all across the world to be and do what ultimately makes them happy, as well as to promote success at its abundance.
Please feel free to reach out to D’Jamel for bookings, hostings, interviews, or questions. Follow D’Jamel on social media: FB: D’Jamel Young IG: Boss_Man_Transl8tion Site: Transl8tion.us Email: jamelyoung87@gmail.com handsbydjamel@gmail.com transl8tion.us@gmail.com
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FEATURE |
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orn and raised in the church, I was a minister by age 12, an elder by the time I was 15. It felt amazing doing what I’d been called to do. I remember throwing youth conferences twice a year that to this day give me chills to recollect — opening service to a church packed full of young people slain, in the floor, crying, worshipping, calling out to God so intensely the choir director said not a soul in there was seated. Then there was the flip side, with older people saying, “You’re just making a mockery.” But my challenges became bigger than that. There was one church member who wouldn’t leave me alone. I’d be at church praying, and he would show up and try to fondle and get me into one of the rooms. After I prayed about it and told the pastors, they called us to meet. The guy was there crying. The associate pastor said, “I love you guys both,” and then, “Well, let’s start with you, Mr. Akins. I think you come off too friendly, and that’s the reason he’s been doing these things. So you should apologize to him for your behavior.” I think that was the first time I actually cursed in church. I was 18 or 19 years old when I walked away from the church — not fully, but it wasn’t all of my life anymore.
In the midst of this time, I was traveling from Arkansas to Memphis to visit a friend. His father came to pick me up, saying my friend was working overtime and would meet me at their house later. When I got there, his dad gave me some bluecolored kool-aid, saying to relax and take a load off. But it wasn’t kool-aid. It was Hypnotiq. When I told him I felt lightheaded, he told me to go lie down, that I must be tired from the drive. I remember looking around the room he sent me to, thinking it didn’t seem like a guest room. I remember rolling over on my back, and him climbing on top of me, saying, “If you’re really still, this won’t hurt.” I remember looking at the clock move so slowly it felt like hours. It was the longest two minutes of my life. Afterwards, I lay there crying to God, “If you love me, you’ll get me out of here.” My mom called about thirty minutes later, Former minister and former porn star Brandon Akins reveals the decades of tribulation demanding that he bring me home, he overcame to finally triumph over scorn, abuse, drugs, molestation, and illnesses saying, “Something ain’t right.” both physical and mental. That rape was the first time I’d had experienced anything… sexual… not even knowing my full sexuality…
BEYOND
Bam bam The Real Brandon Akins
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| UNLEASHED ATL because it was wrong. That’s what we were taught. Looking at men differently when you’re not supposed to be feeling this way, but feeling this way, fighting with self, fighting with the church, fighting with reality. There were those times you met someone and they said this is okay, so you kind of just touch, but you felt so bad because you’re told this is wrong. But I’d never had… intercourse… never. I’d begged God to take it away. I took baths and hoped it would wash away in the tub. I felt lost, bitter, cold hearted — still this church boy, still wanting to care, still wanting to love, still feeling like I’m by myself in this world. For a long time, I stopped praying. And matters got even worse. Some time later, this guy called and asked if I knew who I was talking to. We were on the phone for several minutes before I said, “I don’t know who you are, I don’t know what you want, but speak your mind, or we’re going to end this call without getting anywhere.” He said, “You came and you took a test with somebody. ”I’d been applying to so many jobs, I still had no idea what he meant until he finally came out with it: “ You took a test to determine your health status. You’re HIV positive.” I hit the floor crying. I’d gotten tested and forgotten all about it. And things kept getting worse. I ended up in Atlanta, in a nightmare of a relationship. My first stepdad had beat my mom from as far back as I could remember. I’d said, “I would never allow myself to go through that. How could you let somebody do these things to you?” Well, I met this guy. We started seeing each other every day and eventually moved in together. Then these little incidents began. I’d go somewhere he didn’t approve of, and he’d say, “Boy, what I tell you about that?” with a light tap on the head. No force behind it, just a friendly tap. I thought nothing of it. Another time, we were meeting at a club, but my phone died by the time he arrived. When I found him later, he threw me against the wall, hitting me, screaming, “You knew I was coming!” But I said it was okay because he said he was sorry. He didn’t mean it. He loved me. But we regularly found ourselves in the floor, fighting and kicking.
I kept saying, “I’m not taking any more of this. I’m leaving.” Then I’d look at him, he’d break down crying, and my heart would just break. So I’d unpack my bag and stay. It was a long two and a half years. I had to clean up every Friday, cook Sunday through Thursday, work out Monday through Friday… if I broke routine, there was hell to pay. He had to approve all my haircuts and clothes. He set up a page and made me begin escorting, saying, “I’m trying to make you better.” Finally, one night he bruised me up before he went out and then came back hours later immersed in his phone. I confronted him, and after some attempts at denial, he said, “I can’t help it this n**** wants to send me naked pictures!” I said, “You’re such a liar, get out of here,” and he rolled over and started choking me until the room started fading to black. When I freed my leg to kick him off, he pulled me out of my own apartment butt naked, yelling, “That’s right, get your broke [so-and-so] out!” When I finally got back inside, I packed a bag and left for good. Throughout that time in Atlanta, I’d also been doing adult entertainment, dancing. A guy in the porn industry started calling about all these roles I would be perfect for. My relationship had taken so much out of me by then, so much energy, so much selfrespect. I was numb to everything by that point, so I said, “You know what? What the hell.” I started doing porn around the time I turned 30, for about three years. I walked away a little over a year ago. But not before things got worse. About two years ago, after some swelling on my right side, my ankle started turning colors, and I couldn’t walk on my right foot. Doctors told me it wasn’t broken or sprained. Eventually, I found out it was cancer. Meanwhile, that ex-boyfriend still wasn’t completely out of my life. Three years ago, after moving to New York, where he then also lived, I found myself dangerously excited to hear from him one day — so much that I stepped away from the new boo to speak in private. He asked if I was free and sent me an address, telling me to be down for anything. By this time,
I’d been smoking weed, doing cocaine, popping molly, and taking X pills. But that visit was the first time I tried crystal meth and liquid G. I ended up there for three days straight, high. Eventually, I came back from New York to Atlanta and started my own interior design company. But it took until almost a year ago to finally cut him off entirely. Since that visit, there had been more games, more drama, more disappointment. But the last time he made contact, I was finally getting the help I needed. The question in my mind became, “Do you want to go backward, or do you want to go forward?” I sat there, thought about it, and decided to keep making progress. I deleted him from my phone, my Facebook, everywhere. Throughout those years of just trying to make sense of everything going on with me, I had attempted suicide three times. People had told me for so long that I was depressed, but I kept shrugging it off until watching a film that showed person after person describe the same feelings I was feeling, arriving at the statement that these were the signs of depression. I got into therapy and started dealing with my issues, getting to the bottom of at what point I started to spiral. There were days I didn’t want to go back because it was just so much to deal with from all these years ago. But the more I talked and actually started dealing with me, who I was, what I was doing in life — the drugs stopped, the going out drinking and passing out, all of it stopped. I’ve been sober for almost eight months. Through all the confusion, when I started praying again, I’d say to God, “I don’t know if you hear me, but help me figure this out because I want to be better.” No matter how much worse things seemed to get, He made sure He showed me the way so that I could help show others. I think a lot of things that were instilled as a child, I don’t value or see the same way that I was taught to believe. But I still believe in God, and I’m still very religious. I don’t teach like I used to teach, but I’m mentoring again, finally returning to my calling.
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D’Jamel
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Follow D’Jamel on social media: FB: D’Jamel Young IG: Boss_Man_Transl8tion Site: Transl8tion.us Email: jamelyoung87@gmail.com handsbydjamel@gmail.com transl8tion.us@gmail.com