Motivational

New Year. New/Same EVER-EVOLVING EVER-EVOLVING ME!

By Dr. Umieca N. Hankton

Hear me out! What if I said, "you DON'T have to reinvent yourself" every year? Can you imagine it? The thought of a NEW YOU every NEW

YEAR sounds exhausting. What if you committed to continuing to grow and evolve each year by simply being open to adding what works and subtracting what doesn't work from your life? Do you crave more joy, love, self-care, boundaries, patience, forgiveness, empathy, excitement, stability, or vitality? Great, add these experiences!

Do you need to remove yourself from toxic environments or people, refrain from consuming excessive amounts of unhealthy foods or substances, or resist the urge to self-sabotage when fear shows up? Wonderful, remove these things from your life? Regardless of your answers to these questions, there's an opportunity for stretching and growing with each passing moment.

So, how does one continue to evolve?

Well, this can be quite intimidating at first but grab a notebook or journal, find a comfortable spot where you can sit and reflect with minimal distractions,

and give yourself permission to be vulnerable and receptive to exploring the contents of your mind and heart. First, take a deep breath and bring your attention inward to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Then, with your notebook and pen in hand, go ahead and jot down any initial thoughts you notice (e.g., "This is foolish. I don't like journaling. Why am I doing this? Did I turn off the stove? What are my kids doing in the other room?"), any emotions that surface (e.g., nervousness, fear, irritability, frustration, excitement, etc.), and any bodily sensations (e.g., elevated heart rate, jitters, sweating, shortness of breath, calmness, etc.). Once you've given some attention to a few things that might get in the way of you fully committing to this practice of reflection, allow your mind to focus on the past year. Okay, before you toss your journal aside, take several deep breaths. Let out an intense sigh, if necessary. But, without self-judgment or trying to dispute or defend what comes up during this period of reflection, start writing what you notice. Then, with compassion and courage, ask yourself the following questions.

• Did my actions align with what I desired for my life?

• Am I proud of how I showed up in the world for myself and others in 2022?

• Did I do the very thing(s) I intended to do last year in the way I intended to do it? What could I have done differently?

• Do the people closest to me support the life I desire to live or contribute to me thriving? Who are my accountability partners along this journey? Who offers me a soft-landing space when I feel overwhelmed, confused, afraid, or

tired? Who challenges me to apply pressure when and where pressure needs to be applied?

• What do I need from mysel and from others to continue ever-

evolving in 2023? • How do I want to show up AN out this year?

• What changes can I begin to make to fuel more moments of happiness in my life?

• What do I know I need to change but am afraid to change?

• What changes can I make in the next two, six, or nine months that will

contribute to a life that I love?

While this practice might feel emotionally and mentally hard, hard does not mean impossible. Hard things should not be avoided. You can do hard

heart work and do it well. Remember,

beautiful things can grow outside of your comfort zone. Allow your answers to these questions to guide your journey of evolving in 2023.

D r. Umieca D r. Umieca N. Hank t o n N. Hank t o n

Dr. Umieca N. Hankton is a licensed clinical psychologist and owner of UNH Counseling Services. Dr. Hankton's clinical interests include the mental health and wellness of Black women, LGBTQ+, clergy, and college students. Clinical services are available to those located in TN, LA, TX, GA, AL, D.C., & IL. To learn about the services offered, please call 901-300-9082.