est. 1956
THEUMWPSOT this time the mistakes are intentional
March 26, 2012
New UWM Housing page 3
Issue 23, Volume 56
Featured Photo page 12
Get in the zone page 5
One on one with the new provost Provost Britz lays out his game plan By Richard Connell Something Editor news@uwmpost.com
A hot relentless sun bore down on a small watering hole in South Africa, its rays doggedly trying to suck every drop of moisture from the plain while leaving every plant, animal and rock with a slightly brownish hue. I very slowly crawled towards the watering hole from under a thick bush, careful to not attract attention from a pride of lions lying on a several boulders on the other side of the hole. They traded discerning glances with a herd of wildebeest that had just arrived. Minutes later, a pack of hyenas joined the party. Not interested in becoming the prey of any creature, I carefully scouted the hole and the animals nearby, waiting for the best moment to dart out for a drink. Neither lions, nor hyenas, nor the massive hippos idly bathing towards the center of the hole concerned me as much as a far deadlier predator with which I was playing the most dangerous game imaginable. In my third and final day at Kruger National Park, a 7,500 square-mile game reserve in the northeastern corner of South Africa, I was avoiding
a deadly predator that had grown up in these lands that I found so foreign and had an unparalleled ability to reason (with six degrees including two doctorates to prove it) –none other than UWM’s new provost and vice chancellor of student affairs, Johannes Britz. Covered in dry, crusty mud that I had caked on myself to try to stave off anguishing sunburn and using the tattered remains of my clothes as a loincloth, I thought back to how I had gotten here. It started a week ago, before UWM’s spring break and just after Britz had been named the new provost, the second highest administrative position at UWM and a role he has been playing as interim provost since 2010 while a search and screen committee reviewed other candidates. Unable to meet with me for an exclusive interview because he was returning to his native South Africa for spring break, he suggested that I come along, get to know his home, see the sights and join him for a friendly hunt of Africa’s biggest, most dangerous game. “There’s nothing like the thrill of battle of wits between two predators trekking on the platteland, my bru,” Britz said. “It’s going to be a lekker
time.” Concerned about hunting potentially endangered species, and never having fired a gun in my life, I suggested that he show me something less extreme like visit his alma mater in Pretoria, or go cage diving with sharks near Cape Town, but he insisted. “We won’t hurt Simba or Nala or any other endangered species,” he assured me. “I’ve invented a new form of hunting and I want you to try it out. And don’t worry, I’ll do all of the shooting, my bru.” Curious about the new hunt he had conceived of, but wouldn’t tell me about, I took him up on his offer and set out to spend my spring break in the South African wilderness. Landing in Johannesburg, we wasted no time in getting a game reserve within the park, where he retired his usual coat and tie for a set of beige hunting clothes and a circular helmet reminiscent of a 19th century British uniform. There, he alerted me to the startling circumstances of our hunt. “I’ll give you six hours and then I’ll come looking for you,” he said calmly but with deadly seriousness, as he handed me a canteen and a large hunting knife. “If I don’t catch you
in three days, we’ll call it even and go back to Milwaukee together, but if I do… then the UWM Post may lose its features editor,” he said with a sinister smile. Bewildered, I refused to go and insisted that I be returned to Johannesburg immediately, but I then felt a sudden pain to the back of my head and fell to the ground unconscious. Hours later, I woke up in the middle of a field of tall grass and spent the next few days climbing trees to avoid cheetahs, jumping down them to avoid leopards and running from water hole to water hole trying to avoid crocodiles. In all that time, I saw no sign of Britz, but I had to assume he was out there. From under that bush on the third day, I waited for the wildebeest to chase off the hyenas while the lions seemed to have dozed off, and I saw my chance for water. I darted out and made a mad dash for the hole, hoping to get in and out before a predator had time to react. I plunged into the brown, mucky water, took a few gulps and filled the canteen. No sooner had I turned around to dash back into the
INDEX
NEWS SPORTS
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FINGER EDITORIAL
and possibly homeless, I am glad to know our students will have to work fewer hours at their part-time jobs to get by.” The ERC, made up of students from Milwaukee Graduate Assistants Association, Students for a Democratic Society and AFSCME,
8-10 12-13
By Hugo Holler news@uwmpost.com
are thrilled with the Chancellor’s decision. Members of the coalition gathered with drums and signs in Spaights Plaza to show support for the new budgetary plan. Co-President of the MGAA Jacob Glicklich praised
See TUITION page 2
See UNITE page 3
See PROVOST page 4
Lobbying of administration by ERC “successful” “With less than 20 percent of the university’s budget coming from state government, there are some obvious challenges to forfeiting tuition revenue,” Laliberte said. “However, I feel that as the nation’s first free urban research institute, UWM could really excel.” Several budget proposals were introduced to address the new shortcoming in the university’s 680 million dollar operating budget, including one entitled “Chop from the Top,” which would cut the benefits and salaries of administrator and department chairs by approximately 90 percent. UWM Provost Johannes Britz spoke in support of chopping from the top, despite a recent salary increase that has received criticism. “For too many years, administrators like me have been benefiting from the financial strain of our students. While I may be eating less
Time for pointless political games is over, SA promises
The UW-Milwaukee Student Association announced today that they would unite in celebrating the entirety of the student body they represent, a surprising reversal from their previous position of secretively celebrating themselves and their friends. Already the elected representatives have unleashed a torrent of bills intended to reinvigorate faith in their stewardship, ranging from the slashing of salaries to the decision to proclaim every week “Sunshine Week,” allowing for unprecedented levels of accountability and transparency. “We realize that we have done nothing in the past 10 years to encourage student involvement on campus,” Speaker of the Senate Rick Banks said, while throwing candy to a group of freshmen. “That is changing today and every day that we will remain at this university.” Senator Michael Ludwig disagreed, however. “We will be changing things as long as we are alive,” Ludwig said, before high-fiving Banks and pulling out a T-shirt cannon. The SA, composed of an executive, legislative and judicial branch, has had a difficult time connecting with students in the past, the worst of its members resigning over scandals related to hazing, sexual harassment and theft. Even the best officials have been hamstrung in their efforts because of byzantine bylaws, more often than not written by the worst members, which limit their ability to effectively gov-
Chancellor announces plans for free tuition next semester By Bradley M. Polter Staff Writer news@uwmpost.com Just weeks after the UWMilwaukee Education Rights Coalition’s unveiling of new demands for reduced tuition expenses, Chancellor Michael Lovell has announced that UWM administrators will be exploring options for abolishing tuition for the fall 2012 semester. “We have been hearing a lot from the ERC and their affiliates about how ‘education should be free’ and something about what democracy looks like, and the more we hear it, the more it seems to make sense.” Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Michael Laliberte attended the March 16 meeting, which he called “positive” despite the complicated budget restructuring still in the works.
SA unites and passes sweeping reformative legislation
COMICS PUZZLES
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Lecture Bingo
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