UWM Post 5-2-2011

inside News | page 2 Costello’s plan to tackle athletics

How students paid for Rove The Student-Run Independent Newspaper at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee

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Monday, May 2, 2011

Sports | page 7

Volume 55 | Issue 29

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Roving Karl at UWM Former Bush aid greeted with cheers and protest

By Jon Gorski Staff Writer news@uwmpost.com

Speaking to a crowd of around 650, former Deputy chief of Staff, Karl Rove, gave a keynote speech to supporters on Monday, April 25 in the Wisconsin Room.

Heavy security marked the controversial presence of Rove, as dozens of protesters marched outside the Wisconsin Room on the third floor of the Union. Inside, roughly 10 UWMilwaukee Police Department officers kept watch over the crowd. There was only one instance of unrest inside the Wisconsin Room, and the two audience members involved left without any resistance.

“I am here to show everybody that Karl Rove is a clown,” said Brian Huhn, one of the

several protesters dressed as a clown.

Kate Edwards, chair of the College Republicans at UWM, opened the night around 7:30.

She thanked the supporters and groups who were involved with bringing Rove to the school and acknowledged Jared Bierbach, chair of the College Democrats and second moderator of the question-and-answer session following Rove’s speech.

Wisconsin Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch introduced Rove, but not before getting in a few words saying, “I’m so proud of our governor,” she said, repeating Walker’s campaign motto that Wisconsin “is open for business.”

Rove walked on the stage after the introduction to a standing ovation. Immediately, he

Faculty members oppose chancellor’s decision

By Mike La Count News Editor news@uwmpost.com

The Physical Environment Committee and the Student Association (SA) continue to clash over the parking structure in the Northwest Quadrant.

Despite the Northwest Quadrant (NWQ ) lot being approved for free student

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parking for the 2011-2012 academic year, the Physical Environment Committee continues to push for a per-use fee method.

In early fall of 2010, the Physical Environment Committee (PEC) assembled a transportation subcommittee which, in part, was charged with forming a recommenda-

See PARKING page 5

fringe | page 9 Patton Oswalt to take on Milwaukee

Editorial | page 19 Karl Rove, a former Bush cabinet member, currently serves as an analyst for Fox News. Post photo by Austin McDowell

Sowing the seeds to fight corporate greed

PRELLWITZ: What our driver’s ed programs lack KAY: Donald Trump shows racism in birther controversy

Environmental activist criticizes privatization and stresses importance of native seeds

By Aaron Knapp Staff Writer news@uwmpost.com

Starting next fall the CSM lot will be the first free student-only parking lot on campus. Post photo by Sierra Riesberg

Basketball adds new recruit in Harris

Jackpot Gallery celebrates international Star Wars Day

See ROVE page 4

Objections over NWQ parking continue

Ryan Braun’s new contract

It all started with a river.

Decades ago, a young Indian woman living near the Himalayas was on her way to one of her favorite rivers as a child. She wanted to visit it before she left to pursue her Ph.D. in Canada. When she reached the site, however, she was stunned: the river was gone.

“That made me realize that I couldn’t take for granted that our beautiful world will continue to stay that way, and there are very powerful interests out to destroy it,” said environmental activist Dr. Vandana Shiva in an interview with the Post. “I’ve been sort of an ecological activist ever since.”

In a speech she gave at UWM on Friday, Shiva criti-

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cized worldwide efforts to privatize public services, including Gov. Scott Walker’s efforts to weaken pubic employee unions and a recent proposal to privatize the Milwaukee Fire Department.

“The first thing I’d like young people, students, to understand is the future is theirs to shape.” – Vandana Shiva

“Wisconsin has evolved into the epicenter in the struggle for our unity, our common humanity, our oneness in democracy, contested by privatization, commodification and corporatization of all aspects of our lives,” she said.

twitter.com/theuwmpost

Shiva is an internationally prominent environmental activist and founder of Navdanya, an organization that focuses on saving and distributing native seeds to local farmers. She advocates for the use of traditional farming practices and against the use of biotechnology, such as genetically modified seeds.

She was invited to speak at UWM by a student organization called Act Everywhere, which received a $20,000 segregated-fee grant to pay for her visit, according to organizer Kristen McCrory.

Shiva particularly criticized the agricultural biotechnology corporation Monsanto, which specializes in producing pesti-

See SHIVA page 2

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2 May 2, 2011

The UWM Post

News Briefs

Tornados leave hundreds dead

Stem cells get judges’ approval A ruling in the U.S Court of Appeals in Washington, D.C. has reversed a decision regarding federal funding of stem cell research.

With a vote of 2-1, the Court of Appeals determined that taxpayer-funded stem cell research does not violate a law prohibiting federal money from being used to destroy embryonic stem cells. UW-Madison has received $5 million in funding for stem cell research, and the Medical College of Wisconsin has received between $2-3 million in federal funds.

Editor in Chief Kurt Raether

Editorial Editor Jackie Dreyer

Advertising Manager Stephanie Fisher

Managing Editor Lindsey Millard

Production Editor Josh Evert

Advertising Executive Mark Glatzel

News Editors Mike La Count

Multimedia Editor Sierra Riesberg

Advertising Designer Josh Evert

Zach Erdmann

Puzzle Editor Jonas Wittke

Distribution Patrick Quast

Copy Editors Sarah Hanneken

Alek Shumaker

A series of tornados that swept through six southern states left over 318 people dead as of April 28. Two-thirds of the storms hit Alabama, where 204 of the victims resided. Warnings were issued 24 minutes in advance, but the storms were scattered across the area. In some places, there were tracks of damage half a mile wide. President Obama travelled to Alabama last Friday, and 2,000 members of the National Guard have been assigned to help.

Fringe Editor Dustin Zarnikow Asst. Fringe Editors Steven Franz

Caitlin PenzeyMoog

Board of Directors Kurt Raether

Hands off our penises

Patrice Vnük

Derek De Vinney

Simon Bouwman

A group based out of San Francisco has collected 12,000 signatures to get a ban on male circumcision placed on the ballot for elections next November. This exceeds the 7,200 signatures required to get a proposal on ballots.

San Francisco’s Department of Elections has 30 days to verify the petition. If the ban were passed it would only apply to the San Francisco Bay Area. There would be no exemptions for religious beliefs, and violation of the law could result in a $1,000 fine and a year in jail. The proposal does make an exception for those who medically need to have a circumcision. Even if passed, legal experts are not sure the law would hold up upon challenge in court.

Sports Editor Jeremy Lubus Asst. Sports Editor Tony Atkins

Web Editor Kody Schafer

Josh Evert Zach Erdmann Dustin Zarnikow

Business Manager Simon Bouwman

Phone: (414) 229-4578 Fax: (414) 229-4579 post@uwmpost.com www.uwmpost.com

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Events Tuesday, May 3 Culture Café will explore Brazilian culture in the Multicultural Student Lounge, Union 198 from 2:30 to 3:30 p.m.

Dan Savage, best known for his work as a pundit, journalist and sex advice columnist will be in the Union Ballroom at 7 p.m. Tickets are available for free from the UWM Bookstore.

Wednesday, May 4 The Peck School of the Arts will begin running No, No, Nanette on the Mainstage Theatre. The show will run through May 8th. For tickets and information contact arts.uwm.edu/theatre.

is a member of:

Blogger and feminist Jessica Valenti will be speaking in the Fireside Lounge at 7 p.m. The event is free and open to the public .

Thursday, May 5 In celebration of Cinco de Mayo there will be a free performance in the Union Ballroom from 7:30 to 9 p.m. There will be performances

by Ballet Folklorico of Milwaukee and Sol de Mexico. For more information contact sociocul@uwm.edu.

From 9 to 11 p.m. De La Buena will be playing Latin Jazz at the Gasthaus.

Police Reports On April 27 at 1:18 p.m. $10 in U.S. currency was turned over to a police officer as lost property.

The UWM Post

Gullible Turks In Istanbul, Turkey, police officers impersonated doctors to see if they could get citizens to accept medication. Dressed in white coats and carrying stethoscopes, police went doorto-door and administered screenings for high blood pressure and then distributed medication. The pills handed out were actually placebos but police were concerned with how many people opened their doors. Of those visited, 86 percent swallowed the pills immediately.

Police became concerned over the gullibility of their citizens after a local gang using the same method distributed sedatives to people in order to rob them.

On April 29 at 11:36 p.m. an officer witnessed a male subject in his underwear in the street.

On May 1 at 12:54 a.m. a caller reported an unknown man passed out in the entry of the caller’s house covered in vomit.

On May 1 at 3:28 a.m. Kenilworth Apartments staff reported a black male wearing a button up shirt and black pants in the lobby saying he doesn’t know where he is. Staff suspected he was intoxicated.

On May 1 at 3:25 a.m. an officer watched a female run into a curb with her car, abruptly parked and fled. Police are looking for the driver.

SHIVA Continued from page 1 cide-resistant seeds. In the United States, Monsanto holds patents on some of these seeds, which it sells to farmers.

“That’s not creation, that’s pollution,” she said. “Instead of rewarding them with a patent, they should be punished for polluting our food chain.”

Shiva noted that she makes a special effort to address students when she visits the United States.

“The first thing that I’d like young people, students, to understand is the future is theirs to shape,” she said. “It’s always the students that act first, and that power is something I really want students to realize and emphasize.”

Her audience of approximately 150-200 community members and students gave her a standing ovation at the end of her hourlong address. Student Maral Safavi said she found Shiva’s ideas about communities banding together to accomplish great feats to be very persuasive.

“I think she’s brilliant, and I want to be her when I grow up,” Safavi said.

Vandana Shiva poses with the students of Act Everywhere. Image Courtesy of Stephanie Smith

May 2, 2011 3

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Back in How Karl the black came to town UWM’s new athletic director has big plans to fix the dept.’s $10-million deficit

By John Parnon Special to the Post news@uwmpost.com

Richard Costello took the reins of the athletic program at UW-Milwaukee in mid-February and is working on a three-point plan to bring the program back out of the red.

According to Costello, ticket sales, corporate sponsorships and donations are the key to improving the athletic department’s finances.

Costello is moving into his new position on the heels of a structural deficit, rising at a rate of nearly $2 million a year for the past several years.

The athletic department currently receives the largest portion of students’ allocable segregated fees, clocking in at $77.75 per student per semester. Costello said that this program is an integral part of everyone’s education.

“I certainly think it brings kind of a new dynamic to campus,” said Costello. “I think it brings great spirit to this campus … and memories that will last a lifetime are formed at athletics events, whether it’s a basketball game with 10,000 people or maybe it’s a soccer game over at Engelmann field.”

First on Costello’s to-do list is to improve what he calls the “bread and butter” of any athlet-

ics program: ticket sales.

“We need to sell a lot of tickets, and to do that we need to broaden our base. When you think about the 130,000 alums that UWM has, and I believe roughly 100,000 alums in the five-county area, we need to get out there and ask those folks to support their alma mater,” he said.

Costello also discussed the importance of improving on corporate sponsorships for UWM athletics. We Energies and Nicholas Investments are two of the companies Costello highlighted as current supporters of the athletics program.

The athletic department plans to overcome the obstacle of acquiring new sponsorships by being aggressive and “going door to door,” said Costello.

“What we’re going to sell and tell is our story.”

But it isn’t just the corporate bucks that are going to keep UWM athletics afloat. Costello said he plans to launch another campaign, this one aimed at UWM alumni. Costello hopes to raise $10 a month from each alum and said that he feels this is an achievable goal.

“We have plenty of alumni that I know feel passionate about this university and what it has meant to them and athletics, and we’re all about building leaders,” said Costello.

What you might have missed about one of the largest events on campus

By Zach Erdmann News Editor news@uwmpost.com

On April 25, UW-Milwaukee hosted one of the premier figures in federal politics of the last decade. He has written for The Wall Street Journal and Newsweek, been embroiled in a controversial political scandal involving clandestine organizations and was called the “architect” of George W. Bush’s reelection campaign.

But if you weren’t in the Union when the extensive security rolled out and the protestors filed in, you might not have known he was even here.

Karl Rove’s trip to UWM started the same way all student org events start: with a grant.

Every semester, the Senate Appropriations Committee (SAC) meets to deliberate and ultimately fund the diverse body of student organizations on campus. For the last two semesters (Fall 2010 and Spring 2011), this group has allocated a new kind of grant called a Major Event Grant, specifically for large events held on campus that are free and open to all students.

These grants, like all grants, are funded with student dollars and given out a semester

ahead of when the events are planned for.

The College Republicans at UWM were allocated the largest of the Major Event grants in the fall semester, totaling $24,320. At the time of the allocation the grant was to meant to bring Ann Coulter back to UWM, but due to scheduling confl icts and perceived lack of interest the speaker was changed to Rove.

Coulter had previously visited UWM in spring of 2010 and Rove the preceding fall.

According to Kate Edwards, the current SAC chair, a change in the content of an event, formally known as a name change, happens often with student orgs. “I’ve probably done about 20 or so name changes this year, just because a semester in advance is a long time for a student [to plan], and as long as it’s consistent with the mission of your org I always approve the name change.”

Edwards also serves as the chair of the College Republicans, but is quick to highlight the distinction between her two roles.

“Obviously, I’m a republican, but when I’m in my role as SAC chair, I’m nothing. It makes no difference. It couldn’t ever legally make a difference, so I look at them as two very

distinct things that I never intertwine.”

Edwards asked the SAC Vice Chair Andrew Hastert to approve the name change for College Republicans to maintain transparency.

According to Edwards, the tickets for the event were fi rst made available to students at the beginning of March, almost two months before the event took place. Edwards said she created a Facebook group for the event and sent out invitations to the heads of the political science and business departments asking them to invite their students, who she thought would have a particular interest in Rove’s speech.

Edwards also said she invited several other student orgs, especially those with political or financial affiliations.

Ultimately, Edwards claimed she feared a low attendance at the event, and just three weeks after opening the tickets to students, she began to solicit community members for the event.

Edwards sent invitations to a mailing list of attendees at previous College Republican events and as the date approached she distributed, in her estimate, the final

See SAC page 6

4 May 2, 2011

The UWM Post

Sandburg residents remain in waiting Final assessments of damaged dorms pending

ROVE Continued from page 1

launched into criticisms of President Obama, referencing two national polls that claimed that over 45 percent of Americans would not reelect the current president.

He went on to admonish the president’s healthcare reform, saying that over time public approval has declined.

He iterated that the major promises of the reform were not true and that the nation was “spending more than if we had done nothing,” denouncing the 159 new agencies created by the bill and its mandates.

On the stimulus plan, Rove said that it ultimately resulted in “going in steep, coming out steeper.”

Referring to the 2012 elections, he claimed that Obama’s entire strategy was “just attack the Republicans” and called him a “campaigner in chief” rather than a commander in chief.

However, he distanced

himself from the controversy about Obama’s birth certificate, saying that Obama is indeed a citizen of the United States and legally president.

Rove also spoke about the Wisconsin Budget Repair Bill with respect to the elimination of most collective bargaining rights for state employees. Rove said Wisconsin was “ground zero” in the conflict regarding public workers and that unions were simply not popular among the American public. He said it was time to resolve the “union problem” permanently, not just temporarily, a statement that gained him the most resounding applause of the night.

Pat Garrett, an attendee, thought Rove exhibited “true conservative values” and praised Rove’s condemnatory interpretation of Obama’s healthcare reform plan.

Ellyn Thompson, a member of the student organization Act Everywhere, opposed Rove’s presence. To her, Rove represents “the biggest clown,” citing his policies and involvement in the Middle East as reasons for her opposition.

Students piled their belongings on tarps in the middle of their rooms.

Post photo by Austin McDowell

By Kevin Kaber Staff Writer news@uwmpost.com

Some residents of Sandburg Hall’s East tower have been relocated since April 18 when a corroded valve on a hot-water pipe burst, resulting in extensive flooding.

The extent of the damage in some cases has resulted in the permanent displacement of students for the rest of the semester. University Housing has moved the affected students to Sandburg’s other towers and adjusted their room rates, but concerns remain.

One such resident, Kathyrn Johnson, was told in an email that her room would require more than two weeks worth of repairs, thereby “pushing construction close to, if not into finals week,” by East Tower Residential Programs staff member Kari Dawson.

The email to students continued, “As a result you have been permanently displaced from your room in East Tower.”

The displaced residents’ new room assignments have led to confusion and concerns as well.

“They told us we could stay in our rooms the first night,” said Constance Krahn, an affected resident. “Then the next night they said, ‘Oh sorry, you

should’ve been one of the first to move.’”

Due to the varying amount of damages, residents of different suites were displaced according to an assessment of the safety and damages of their respective rooms and the amount of work needed to repair said suites.

“The first email we got said that they were getting daily reports from the restoration company,” said Ailee Velazquez, “but they didn’t send us an email until that Friday.”

In that follow-up email, the affected residents were told to move their belongings to the center of their rooms and remove items from walls.

Residents are also required to have security supervise and perform key-ins if they want to return to their damaged room.

“I went into that room several times to get a key-in,” said Krahn. “I leaned up against the door and fell into our suite because they put tape over our lock, so you could just push open the door. People could just walk in whenever they want.”

Students’ personal belongings were also damaged by the flood. However, upon moving into the dorms, residents were required to sign a liability clause within their resident housing contracts stating

that University Housing will not be held liable for any such damages.

University Housing Director Scott Peak claims that while the recorded personal damages are minimal (mainly books and clothes) “the state’s not acting any differently than what a private landlord would be. A private landlord would not cover personal belongings.”

But University Housing has agreed to give some gratuities to the displaced residents.

“We are going to be adjusting room rates while they are not in their rooms,” said Peak.

In addition to adjusting rates for displaced East Tower residents (the only tower of Sandburg Halls that includes kitchens in each suite), students may also receive added food points to their Panther IDs as well.

Displaced students have also been given a memo that details the situation to their professors.

“The only thing [it] said about getting extensions was ‘Some students were worried about grades and exams,’” said Velazquez.

“A final assessment of the damages will take weeks, if not months,” said Peak. “But

by Monday [May 2], we’ll know who will not be able to move back to their rooms for sure.”

Post photos by Austin McDowell

May 2, 2011 5

uwmpost.com

Lessons in causing a scene Founder of popular comedic performance art group visits UWM

Charlie Todd attempted no pranks while at UWM. Post photo by Sierra Riesberg

By Josh Kuck Staff Writer news@uwmpost.com

Improv Everywhere is a New York City-based comedic group whose main objective is to provide unwitting onlookers with an unusual and positive experience. This is accomplished by carrying out public pranks, officially referred to as “missions.”

Improv Everywhere has performed over 100 missions involving the participation of tens of thousands of volunteers. Todd explained that the idea for Improv Everywhere was inspired after playing a simple impromptu prank in a Manhattan bar 10 years ago.

While at the bar, Todd’s friend suggested that he looked like popular musician Ben Folds. For fun, Todd and his friend decided to see if they could trick others at the bar into believing he was indeed Ben Folds. After successfully misleading many people, and even going so far as to sign autographs as Folds, Todd discovered his love for performing pranks.

Todd went on to show a few videos of his missions, including famous “No Pants Subway Ride,” “Star Wars Subway Car,” “The Food Court Musical,” “High-Five Escalator” and “Frozen Grand Central,” among others.

With over 26 million views on YouTube, “Frozen Grand Central” is one of Improv Everwhere’s most popular missions. As the title suggests, this mission took place in New York’s Grand Central Station. Over 200 participants (“agents”) showed up at Grand Central Station to take part in this event. The mission: Simultaneously freeze

in place for five minutes and then resume normal activity.

The mission was so well received that these “freezes” were reenacted thousands of times in many different parts of the world. Todd describes the reenactments of his prank as “completely awesome.”

Yet with popularity often comes criticism – something Improv Everywhere is quite familiar with. Skeptics often accuse Improve Everywhere of not being a genuine improvisational group since the missions are pre-planned.

Todd said he recognizes this shortcoming of the group’s name but added that only the general ideas are planned and that the improvisational aspect comes from “not knowing what the public is going to do or how they will react.”

Todd seemed excited to announce that he recently carried out one of his missions here in Wisconsin on the UW-Oshkosh campus.

The event was part of Improv Everywhere’s ongoing “MP3 Experiments,” in which participants are instructed to download a 40-minute MP3 off his website, upload it to their MP3 player and meet at a designated public location at a set time. Once there, everyone simultaneously presses “play” and follows the directions on the track.

In concluding, Todd had a message for the audience: “No longer are there gatekeepers in this world that keep you from finding your audience and getting your creativity out there… Rather than waiting for someone to give you an opportunity, you can go do your own thing.”

He credits the Internet for “democratizing” the ability to share creativity.

PARKING Continued from page 1

tion for how the university should proceed with changes in parking with the anticipated purchase of Columbia St. Mary’s Hospital and closure of the lakefront UPark lot, which currently operates as a free student parking lot.

Following an SA vote in March and approval from Interim Chancellor Michael Lovell, the parking structure in the former Columbia St. Mary’s Hospital complex, now called the Northwest Quadrant, will be free and open to students.

On March 16 Lula Rockette, operations program associate of the Campus Planning and Transportation committee, sent an email to the PEC transportation subcommittee. The email included a report by the consulting firm that evaluated different methods of funding to pay for the NWQ lot and a letter written by the chancellor to the SA expressing his willingness to support a free student lot on campus for 2011-2012.

This was in opposition to what the PEC recommended to the chancellor. They supported charging a daily rate of $4.

In response to the Rockette’s email, Alan Horowitz, chair of the PEC subcommittee wrote, “I am very discouraged by what I see in the attachments.”

Another faculty member on the subcommittee, Bruce Wade, was concerned with Lovell’s decision as well.

“This is a stunning disregard for shared governance, and it is one more example I have seen among many,” Wade wrote. “I believe that this subcommittee through the PEC must write a letter to the [United Council] and the chancellor complaining about what has happened.”

In the last meeting of the PEC on April 20, the committee put together a document titled “Nine Reasons Why Free Parking for Students (or Anyone) in the NWQ is a Very Bad Idea.”

Some of the concerns raised in the document include the notion that free parking is “unfair to students” and “unfair to faculty and staff.”

The committee believes in a free lot that is first-come, first-served; parking spaces will not be distributed based on need, and students with higher incomes will be more likely to benefit.

“While we have no data specifically for UWM students, we can reasonably surmise

that drivers will be coming, on average, from higher incomes,” said Horowitz.

As for faculty and staff, under the current plan, they will be unable to park in the NWQ lot. If the expenses of the NWQ lot exceed its income, the money will have to come from one of the other parking facilities, according the PEC. This could potentially cause rates to go up at other lots, essentially resulting in faculty and staff paying for a lot they cannot use.

“Ultimately, the debt will need to be paid, which can only come from higher parking fees,” said Horowitz.

Horowitz recognizes that the $4 a day fee would not generate revenue but believes it would cover the expenses.

“We know that a $4 fee is not the optimal way of running the structure if the only objective were to make money.”

How students got free parking on campus After debates over the lease of the lakefront UPark lot and how to manage the NWQ parking structure, UWM administration and the SA came to an agreement last March.

Lovell agreed to a oneyear deal using the NWQ structure as a free student lot, a plan that was petitioned for by SA. It will operate as a replacement for the lakefront UPark by Alterra on Lincoln Memorial Drive. The university has been leasing that space from Milwaukee County since its opening over a decade ago.

Currently, student segregated fees pay for two free student lots. One is the lakefront lot and the other is on Capitol Drive and Humboldt Boulevard. The cost for those two lots is $14.30 per student per semester.

The conversation over changes to parking at UWM began in the beginning of the 2010 fall semester with the appointment of the PEC subcommittee.

The subcommittee ultimately decided to support the $4 a day plan that the NWQ structure is currently operating under. This would allow faculty, staff and students to park in the structure at a flat daily rate. This differs from all other parking facilities on campus, which charge an hourly rate.

The PEC passed this plan along to the faculty senate last November. On Dec. 5, the SA decided to hold off on passing budget for the UPark lots.

In December, SA President

Travis Romero-Boeck and Vice President Angela Lang met with Interim Chancellor Lovell who told them the university would agree to bring in a consulting firm to evaluate the parking situation on the campus and offer a recommendation about how to best structure funding of the NWQ parking lot.

The Desman Associates completed their evaluation in late February. In their report, they evaluated a combination of scenarios including funding the lot with a segregated-fee increase, the $4 a day flat rate, as well as scenarios with and without subsidies from the university.

The chancellor went against the PEC recommendation for the $4 a day fee and approved funding the NWQ lot with segregated fees and a subsidy from the university for the 2011-2012 academic year. Data will be collected in that year to help determine a permanent plan.

With the cancellation of the lease for the lakefront lot, segregated fees for the UPark program have been reduced to $12. The lakefront lot also received a subsidy from the university of $283,400.

In order to cover the cost of the NWQ lot, including operational costs and the debt incurred by the university with the purchase of the NWQ, the report from the Desman Associates estimated it would require $15.09 in segregated fees per student.

On March 10, the chancellor communicated his support of the segregated-feefunded NWQ lot for 2011-2012 in a letter to SA President Romero-Boeck.

Under the Desmond report’s evaluation, the $15.09 segregated fee and university subsidy would be sufficient for covering the expense of the structure, but the plan’s critics disagree with the analysis.

In an email written on April 22 to PEC subcommittee members Bruce Wade and LeRoy Stoner, Horowitz wrote, “I met with the interim chancellor today. We reviewed the consultant’s report with the consultant team present. I believe we made the point rather forcefully that the consultant’s report was seriously flawed.”

In the SA meeting on March 27, the SA senate finally took a vote on the UPark budget for 2011-2012; it was decided to continue a $12 segregated fee to fund the UPARK lot on Capitol Drive and Humboldt Boulevard and to add $15.10 to turn the NWQ lot into a free student lot.

The vote passed unanimously amongst the 26 senators present.

Shameless self promotion. uwmpost.com

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aryl auld darn dray dual duly lady land lard laud

lunar nary rand randy ulna ulnar unary yard yarn

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Puzzle solutions

Try your hand at this week’s puzzles, turn to page 19

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100 tickets of 800 available through local conservative radio host Vicki McKenna.

Edwards nor any other College Republican did not solicit an advertisement in the Post, hang a banner in the Union Concourse, chalk or flier on the campus, or post the event to the Student Activities Office calendar.

According to Edwards, several hundred students attended the event, all of whom were given VIP seating along with College Republican donors and repeat attendees. In one estimate, Edwards said she thought the crowd was as much as 70 percent non-students; a statistic she claims is the result of student apathy.

“In the past we have definitely consistently had more community member than students, but that’s just a fact of the demographic. More students are democrats than republicans and maybe not as interested in this kind of event as older people are,” Edwards said. “I know we had more students here for Karl Rove than we have had at any other events … and I’m hoping to keep that trend going and get more and more students at our events.”

As of this printing, there are no regulations on how SAC funded events are advertised to students, or how tickets are distributed. SAO has strict regulations on how tickets are sold, but according to Student Activities Advisor Tom Dake, free ticket dispersal is under the purview of SAC. The Post asked Edwards if she thought that groups who receive Major Event grants

have a responsibility to students to publicize the event on campus.

“I think there were a lot of ways students could have been informed about [the event]. Firstly, all semester all the grants that were funded have been hanging in the student wing [of the Union third floor] so you can see all the events that should take place. Obviously all of them don’t. Not all the events that we fund happen – that’s up to the organization. You can see what College Republicans are doing this semester and if you looked it would have said Ann Coulter but all you have to do is check and find out,” Edwards replied.

Edwards said she would not be opposed to SAC placing stipulations on Major Event grants forcing a certain degree of student outreach.

Edwards explained the reasoning behind her distribution tactics, saying, “There’s a fine line between letting students know and micromanaging your audience. We don’t we want to be too far on the side of throwing fliers everywhere and letting everybody know because you know that could be hugely disruptive, but you don’t want to micromanage your audience to the point where you just have complete control of the room, that’s not the goal.”

For next semester the College Republicans have secured another Major Event grant, this time tentatively for Steve Forbes. Edwards hopes Forbes will be a less controversial speaker, allowing the College Republicans to advertise more prolifically.

“Promotion won’t be that big an issue if we know that by promoting we’re not bringing in thousands of protestors.”

Shameless self promotion. uwmpost.com

May 2, 2011 7

uwmpost.com

Milwaukee signs junior college standout High energy forward expected to contribute right away

Harris is one of the most athletic players Rob Jeter has ever recruited and could contribute to the team right away.

Photo courtesy of Cash Money Photography.

By Alex Wendland Staff Writer sports@uwmpost.com

“He’s one of the most athletic kids we’ve had here in years.”

That’s certainly high praise

coming from UW-Milwaukee coach Rob Jeter about the newly recruited Demetrius Harris. Harris, a combination power forward and center, comes to UWM via Mineral Area College averaging 11 points and eight rebounds per game.

Coming out of high school, Harris was an all-state wide receiver and defensive back in Arkansas and attracted some recruiting attention from the University of Arkansas. Ultimately, Harris chose basketball, but he brings many of the skills that made him successful on the football field to the basketball court.

“He’s a freak of nature,” said Mineral Area College coach Corey Tate. “Sometimes I think he’s playing the wrong sport. You can throw the ball anywhere and he’ll go up and get it.”

Harris said he is stoked to get to work at Milwaukee.

“I chose Milwaukee because of the style of basketball the Panthers use,” said Harris.

While Harris has some big shoes to fill with Anthony Hill graduating this year, UWM assistant coach Chad Boudreau said they’re very different players.

“Anthony is a true post player, while Demetrius is an athlete,” said Boudreau. “He’ll be a very good defender, and he’ll be a better rebounder than Anthony.

Demetrius will get his points in other ways [than in the post], like offensive put-backs and running the floor.”

Those are all impacts that

See HARRIS page 8

One-on-one with baseball coach Scott Doffek Head baseball coach has more than baseball to deal with

By Nolan Murphy Staff Writer sports@uwmpost.com

The UW-Milwaukee Panthers baseball team has found success almost two-thirds of the way through their season. They find themselves near the top of the Horizon League and in contention for another Horizon league title. I took some time in the last week to catch up with head coach Scott Doffek.

The Post: How has the awful and uncharacteristic weather in April played into your team’s schedule and practicing?

Scott Doffek: This is the worst spring of baseball I can remember in my 30 years of coaching.

Our team, as of April 26, has played 36 games. In the time of those 36 games we have only been able to practice outside three times. We have been practicing in the Klotsche Center

and a few times on Engelmann Field. Most of our work has been done inside though, where it is tough to work on situational baseball, fly balls, and gap communication.

Post: How do the midweek nonconference games benefit the success of the team?

Doffek: I feel that baseball is meant to be a game that is to be played every day or every other, and with these mid week non-conference games it allows our players to stay in a rhythm with baseball.

Post: How do the facilities at UWM compare nationally and within the conference?

Doffek: The facilities at UWM leave us behind the eight ball when trying to bring teams in to play or trying to attract recruits. With the northern climate it also leaves us with a hurdle. With that, we make the

best of what we have and know that the athletic department is doing everything in their power to improve our facilities.

Post: What are the chances that we see UWM play more that one or two games a year at Miller Park?

Doffek: There are many problems with trying to schedule games in Miller Park. It all starts with the fact that the park is not winterized so we cannot get in there before April usually. The playing field is constructed of natural grass so time is needed for that to grow. Scheduling also becomes an issue, due to the fact we sometimes schedule our games two to three years in advance and the Milwaukee Brewers’ schedule comes out about five months before the season. Our administration is exploring all options and avenues of bring other non-conferences teams in.

Post photo by Sierra Riesberg

Panthers split double headers at Miller Park, Aaron Field Pitching dominates in wins

By Nick Bornheimer Staff Writer Sports@uwmpost.com

The Panthers got back to their winning ways splitting a doubleheader Friday against Youngstown State at Miller Park, and again Saturday against Cleveland State at Henry Aaron Field.

The Panthers lost game one on Friday 3-2 and game one on Saturday 5-0. Both of their wins came in game two as Milwaukee won 80 Friday and 3-0 Saturday.

Both wins were highlighted by pitching, including a onehit shutout by senior Chad Pierce in Friday’s second game on a night when UWM’s 20th anniversary team was honored.

“We pitched really well all weekend,” said coach Scott Doffek. “Eric Semmelhack pitched exceptionally well; Pierce was phenomenal pitching a one-hitter, and then Mike Schneider giving up zero walks.”

Milwaukee (18-22, 9-7 Horizon) looked strong out of the gate Friday, giving up a run to Youngstown State (11-28, 6-7 Horizon) in the top of the fi rst, but getting a blast over the right-field wall from junior Paul Hoenecke.

Those would be the only two Panther runs scored in the contest though, as the Milwaukee bats went cold.

Twenty-straight Panthers were retired during one stretch of the game, but Milwaukee was still in good position to edge it out late.

Sophomore starter Semmelhack pitched well as the game turned into a

defensive scuffle. It was defense that became the issue for the Panthers, as the tying run was scored on a throwing error with two outs in the seventh.

The Penguins plated the eventual winning run in the top of the tenth inning on a sacrifice fly by Drew Dosch.

“We just stepped on our own foot late in that game,” said Doffek.

Milwaukee’s offense picked up in the night cap of Friday’s doubleheader giving senior Chad Pierce more than enough support.

Pierce, who has been better than his 4-3 record shows, pitched a completegame one-hit shutout before the game was called after seven innings.

“He’s just a leader,” said Doffek when asked about Pierce. “He leads by example. He leads by inspiration.

He’s a vocal leader, he’s a weight room leader – he’s just a leader.”

Milwaukee put a run on the board right away with an RBI from senior Doug Dekoning in the fi rst inning and got another in the third.

It was a five-run fifth inning that iced the game though and helped Pierce to the conference win.

In the first game of Saturday’s doubleheader versus Cleveland State (930, 2-14 Horizon) the game was again called after seven innings, this time not in the Panther’s favor.

UWM was unable to muster a single run on only one base hit in the contest. Winning

See PANTHERS page 8

The UWM Post

8 May 2, 2011

NBA lockout Why an NBA seems likely lockout is unlikely

By Karl Gunst Special to the Post sports@uwmpost.com

As we begin to approach summer, the whispers of a possible NBA lockout will steadily evolve into a steady roar.

The current collective bargaining agreement (CBA) expires June 30, and the players’ union has already turned down an extension. As tensions over player salaries and contract lengths escalate, a lockout will likely be the result. Let’s look at history to gain some perspective.

Reset the shot clock, back to 1994.

Seventeen years ago, the NBA was in a parallel situation as the CBA was expiring. An extension of the agreement was not reached, but there was not a lockout during the summer of 1994. Instead, the owners and players agreed to preserve the 1994-95 season while simultaneously attempting to construct a new CBA. The mediated talks did not eliminate the friction, causing the NBA to lock out the players after the ’95 finals. The two sides ultimately reached an ownersided agreement, and the lockout was lifted before the start of the 1995-96 season.

A year later, the league locked out the players again. This time it was over disagreements on how to divide the $50-million television revenue. The lockout lasted only a few hours, however, as both sides were able to agree on a new CBA.

HARRIS Continued from page 7 Harris should be making right away, and he too sees himself as someone who can step in and make a difference immediately.

While Boudreau didn’t know what Harris’s role would be quite yet, he said Harris may even get more touches in the Panthers system than he was able to get at Mineral Area.

Averaging a double-double is a benchmark for a great player at any level, and Harris came very close in his time at Mineral Area. Tate, for one, is certain about Harris’s ability to maintain his production, given the opportunity.

“Without a doubt [he can].

I taught him enough here, you

The 1998-99 lockout proved to be the most significant. The CBA was supposed to remain in effect until the 2000-01 season, but the owners decided in a 27-2 vote to abolish the existing CBA. The owners felt like the players’ exorbitant salaries were causing teams’ declining financial status. In an unprecedented off-season battle, the NBA locked out the players.

The enmity between the league and the NBPA grew exponentially as the season approached. The exhibition season was canceled and the regular season was in serious jeopardy. The lockout was lifted after 32 games were cancelled, and the season was preserved in a reduced form.

What can be learned from the past? Well, a lockout does not always equate to the cancelation of team activities. In two of the three lockouts, no games or practices were canceled. Even in the most severe case, the 1998-99 lockout was resolved in time to preserve 61 percent of the season.

A lockout will surely happen this summer.

The same scenario that caused the 1998-99 lockout is happening now. Teams are losing money and something must change. The owners want to impose a harder salary cap while reducing the length of contracts and lowering salaries. Certainly, the players are not willing to take a cut for the good of the owners’ coffers. There will be a battle, and it may take a while for the dust to settle.

guys can get the reward,” Tate joked. “He’s a work in progress, but he has unbelievable untapped talent.”

After Harris signed, both Texas Tech and the University of Kansas called Tate, but Harris stayed true to Milwaukee.

“You’ll like him as much as a person as you will as a player.

He’s a good kid,” Boudreau said.

Harris said he is looking forward to having the opportunity to get a degree in Physical Education from a four-year university and hopes to coach after taking his basketball career as far as he can, including overseas.

His plans for the immediate future, however, involve the Panthers. “First I want to win a conference championship,” said Harris. “Then I want to go the NCAA tournament.”

NBA too successful for a lockout to become a reality

By Mitch Pratt Staff Writer sports@uwmpost.com

As uncertainty looms in the future of the NFL, the National Basketball Association is facing a potential work stoppage of its own. Have no fear, though; the NBA will be around for the 2011-2012 season.

The main issue being disputed by both parties is lowering the salary cap by as much as 30 percent, allowing the NBA to make more profit. According to NBA Commissioner David Stern, NBA teams saw $400 million in losses last season, and

Stern wants that to change.

I have had a hard time believing David Stern.

Consider the lavish 2011 AllStar Weekend in Los Angeles.

We saw famous recording artists such as Rihanna and Kanye West take the stage at halftime and the ultra-famous Justin Bieber win the MVP in the Celebrity Game.

Also, we can look at the 2010 All-Star Weekend played in Dallas at Cowboys Stadium. Do you really think Jerry’s World was rented for free? I doubt the NBA is in need of a handout.

We haven’t dealt with a lockout in the NBA since a strike disrupted the 1998-99

Done deal!

Ryan Braun will be a Brewer for years to come

By Kris Gilson Staff Writer sports@uwmpost.com

Ryan Braun is the official new face of Milwaukee sports after signing his massive five-year, $105-million extension that will keep him a Brewer until 2020.

Braun has cemented himself as one of the premier outfielders in the game, and his 2011 stats are already mind-boggling. But as much as fans love him, was the extension really necessary?

With his current eightyear, $45-million deal signed back in 2008, he was already locked in through 2015, so he wasn’t going anywhere

PANTHERS Continued from page 7 pitcher a Anthony Sambula pitched complete game, including six strikeouts.

The tide turned in the final game of the weekend with another shutout posted by the Panthers. Freshman Mike Schneider went all

for a while anyway. Perhaps GM Doug Melvin was just anxious to hand out a $100million deal to someone after Prince Fielder rejected a similar deal during the offseason.

Maybe Melvin and the Milwaukee Brewers’ brass expects market values to soar in the next five years or so, ultimately making Braun’s deal look quite appealing to a smaller market team like Milwaukee.

Whatever the reasons are for Braun’s extension, it’s clear that he loves Milwaukee and his teammates. He’s already a big player in the business world as he owns two restaurants, has his own

nine innings not giving up any runs, while Hoenecke and sophomore Jonathon Capasso had two hits and an RBI apiece.

Doffek was asked what the differences were between these victories and the weekend series last week against Wright State.

“I mean, we just pitched.

I think the difference was we eliminated any big in-

season. I see the two sides coming to an agreement one way or another. There is a lot of time before the July 1 deadline for the parties involved to bridge the gap.

Have faith that Stern will get this done, especially now at a time when the NBA has peak ratings and we are shifting from a time of parity to a time of conglomerates in Miami and New York with clusters of superstars, making for good business and a good opportunity to build the NBA as a brand. As the NBA continues to grow as a popular global sport, the last thing they need is a lockout to stall their momentum.

clothing line, and endorses a protein drink.

In an age where all the elite athletes are headed to warmer climates and big markets, Braun is perfectly happy to make a life for himself in Milwaukee, of all places.

While he should continue to be an elite hitter for the length of the deal, questions about his defense will continue to come up. He’s already a bad defender in left field and really hasn’t shown any signs of improving since he moved there from third base a couple years ago. The plan could eventually be for him to take over first base duties for the Brewers, depending on what’s in store for Prince.

No matter what the future holds for Braun, we are extremely lucky to have locked in such a terrific athlete for the next decade.

nings and scratched off just enough hits.”

The Panthers play their final home game of the year May 3 before a trip to Iowa for a contest against the Hawkeyes begins an eightgame road trip to close out the year. The first pitch on Tuesday is scheduled for 4 p.m. at Henry Aaron Field.

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10 May 2, 2011

Muff Said The Milwaukee Underground Film Festival

By Dustin Zarnikow fringe Editor fringe@uwmpost.com

This week is an exciting week for not only Milwaukee filmmakers, but filmmakers from all around the world as the Milwaukee Underground Film Festival (MUFF) gears up for its 11th exhibition taking place May 6-8 at the UW-Milwaukee Union Theatre, Walker’s Point Center for the Arts and the Kenilworth Square East Building.

Featuring over 50 short international experimental films ranging from documentary, animation, narrative shorts, live audio and multi-projector performances, the festival includes a few local filmmakers in the lineup including current UWM Film Department graduate student Michael Walsh, alumnus and Associate Lecturer Kate Balsley, and fellow alumni Patrick Wodzinski, Isaac Sherman and Matt Newman.

At the heart of the event

The UWM Post

Image courtesy of Josh Rickun the organization aims to provide a platform for students to progress their craft and gain experience with exhibition productions while showcasing interesting experimental artists from all over the world.

“This requires some focused attention by our jurors, and a challenge for the students to balance out programs in terms of pacing and structuring an evening for patrons and jurors alike,” Faculty Advisor Ross Nugent told the Post.

The festival features three jurors including Lori Felker from Chicago, Ill., Roger Beebe from Gainesville, Fl., and Milwaukee’s own INOVA Gallery curator Nicholas Frank. Three films will be chosen to divy up $500 in cash prizes.

A non-profit student organization, MUFF is preparing

for their 11th festival, with support from the UWM Film Department that has been provided for over a decade according to Nugent. The group originated from more humble beginnings, having not always been recognized as a student organization. But after years of practice the festival has gained momentum and students have built MUFF into a nationally recognized name.

This year’s festival met a small hurdle after losing SA funding for the first time in five years. Because of the setback the organization only worked harder to get things done.

“The students have done an amazing job with fundraising efforts this year in particular,” Nugent said. “For example, they were fortunate enough

to have the cooperation of local bands and Y-Not III to host a benefit show featuring local bands, and a screening of their own work at The Pink House in Riverwest.”

The efforts have paid off and the three-day event has sponsorships from a long line of local businesses, which are also aiding in providing screening locales, after-party locations and various promotions including Milwaukee beer specials.

The Milwaukee Underground Film Festival will take place Friday, May 6 at 7 p.m. at the UWM Union Theater, Saturday, May 7 at 6 p.m. with a separate showing at 8 p.m. at Walker’s Point Center for the Arts and Sunday, May 8 at 3 p.m. at Kenilworth Square East.

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uwmpost.com

May 2, 2011 11

This is the way the world ends Queer film bangs and whimpers to one giant Kaboom

While proving a well done, entertaining film, Win WIn could possibly be unrealistically over realistic, leaving the audience reaching. Image Courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures

Kaboom leads on as anticlimactic, but intensely surprises in the end.

Image courtesy of Sundance Selects

By Timothy Sienko Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

Queer auteur Greg Araki, of Mysterious Skin and Doom Generation renown, has built his career with campy riffs on mainstream stories and genre tropes. His latest movie, Kaboom – scheduled to screen at the Union Theatre Thursday, May 5 at 7 p.m. – is more an exultant collection of notes on camp than a focused narrative intended for emotional impact.

In the opening moments, Smith, the central character and unwitting anti-hero, runs the audience through two distinct dream sequences. The first: Accompanied by his ridiculous haircut and superfluously blue eyes, Smith wanders through a white hallway among friends and strangers toward a doorway marked “19,” the age he is about to turn. When the emotional swell of electronica cuts out and he turns the handle, he is greeted by a dumpster.

The second: Thor – Smith’s unforgivably hot, straight roommate – disrobes, sits at the end of Smith’s bed and confesses that he has never kissed another dude. Again with the music and the cobalt lighting.

Of course it’s a dream; Smith is awakened by the real Thor and some anonymous woman.

The following introductions and scenes all rise with the same furious curiosity only to careen into the next crescendo. There’s Stella, the cynical “vagitarian” bestie from high school, whose one-line wit only increases the pace of the film and the level of fantasy being played out.

She chides Smith with the skill of a sniper: “The fact that you randomly sometimes stick it in a girl does not mean anything beyond that you need to monitor your drinking.” Each conversation builds to a quotable climax before Smith is left staring blankly again at a pile of phone numbers, alone.

It’s not long before faces introduced in the opening dream start showing up in real life: a ginger who vomits on Smith’s shoe, Stella’s high-maintenance crush, Smith’s L.A. business-

woman mom. Just as each character develops intrigue, Araki steers the action back to some mundane mystery regarding sexuality.

And there is sex. Smith, whose undeclared orientation leads him into flirtation with a boy, bed with a woman and the back of a van with a married man, doesn’t so much choose his partners as admit them.

After one such drunken hetero-hookup, Smith witnesses a murder perpetrated by men in animal masks. A close-up rendering of the knife-wound is followed by the carnal attack of a fork against a short stack of pancakes. After talking with Stella, he returns to the scene only to find no sign of struggle, no blood.

From here the realms of fantasy and reality are so closely related that there seems to be little distinction. And the film’s tension-and-release structure multiplied by hormones leaves no time for guesswork. One must accept the images and dialogue as they fly through, hoping that explanations are offered, that the sexy witch is somehow connected to the stoner RA. Both the pace and the structure sync with the all of the images of sex. Bodies writhe and collapse into each other, but on only one occasion is an orgasm depicted. And it is anti-climactic. As each character rushes toward an unrevealed climax, so does the film.

A vortex of conspiracy is revealed, with Smith in the eye, as the film shifts from college romp to detective mystery. Tropes of drama and action movies are all lampooned, dragging behind the final highspeed chase that re-contextualizes every event of the film, rushing toward a very literal and physical orgasm.

The film ends with a revelation and an event so final that none of the sexual exploits matter. None of the longing or loneliness exists. Whatever answers Smith was looking for in that candy-apple-red dumpster are no longer important. There is no fantasy or reality. There is only Kaboom.

Two positives make a negative Oriental Theatre presents Win Win

By Sean Willey Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

Win Win loses steam quickly.

It’s a roadmap to emotional bonding with a start and finish, but no middle.

We get to the happy ending, but the movie does little to push us there. It’s a valiant effort in exploring social relationships in the midst of realism, but perhaps its realism is too over-the-top, too unrealistic for the escapism of cinema.

Mike Flaherty (Paul Giamatti) is a New Jersey lawyer soaked in struggle. His family needs money, so he does some sidewinding in court to become the guardian of an old man, Burt Young (Leo Poplar), who,

as part of his commission, will provide Flaherty with $1,500 a month. Things get messy, though, when Young’s grandson Kyle (Alex Shaffer) enters his life. Kyle refuses to return to his mother in Ohio, so Flaherty, trying to be a responsible guardian, lets Kyle stay.

They’re attached, and soon Kyle joins the high school wrestling team that Flaherty coaches. He’s good, real good.

His best friend Terry Delfino (Bobby Cannavale) joins the trio as assistant coach. When Kyle’s mom Cindy (Melanie Lynskey) skips into town, he refuses to let this insensitive woman (in his opinion) drag him back to Ohio. Kyle thinks he’s found his family here.

He has a solid foundation on the wrestling team, a loving

grandfather and a developing connection with the Flaherty family.

Lack of friendship is the reason he ran, and friendship is what he finds, but his mom seeks legal council and the battle for Kyle’s best interest begins.

Win Win seems to be based on the foundation of self-independence, with camaraderie as its groundwork. It’s an overused plotline, but one that has endless possibilities. Win Win uses wrestling as a metaphor for the circles we dance, eventually meeting in the middle for a showdown of whatever we choose.

Did it work? That depends on the style of drama and sitcom you prefer.

The movie is good for ironic laughs and decent character development (the deep stuff we’ve come to expect from Giamatti). Director Tom McCarthy spins the reality of stress and the melancholy of life together well, but too many characters share that momentum, and almost all get thrown out prematurely or without a proper goodbye.

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12 May 2, 2011

The UWM Post

Film shorts Weekly film selections from the Post

By Steven Franz Asst. fringe Editor fringe@uwmpost.com

The Milwaukee area offers a fantastically diverse, somewhat overwhelming selection of films from week to week in a variety of venues across the city. The UWM Post provides a handy guide to some of the highlights, from the Union Theatre to the Oriental Theatre and beyond.

Milwaukee Underground Film Festival (May 6-8, various locations) An annual tradition, the Milwaukee Underground Film Festival (MUFF) is a student-run, student-organized, student-curated event. The Festival cultivates a selection of innovative, avant-garde and genrebending films from around the globe for a weekend of display in a variety of venues around the city, most notably the UWMilwaukee Union Theatre.

It is run entirely by UWM students and is sure to mix in some particularly weird films that are unavailable most everywhere else and unlikely to be encountered ever again.

Kaboom (May 5, Union Theatre) Gregg Araki was one of the pioneering directors of the New Queer Cinema in the 1980s and ’90s along with the likes of Todd Haynes and Gus Van Sant.

His insane 1995 sex comedy The Doom Generation became one of the best-known, defining underground films of the Generation X era, notably helping to launch the career of Rose McGowan (among others).

Part of the LGBT Film/Video Festival’s ongoing series of monthly screenings (which continues into the summer, correlating with PrideFest), Kaboom is in line with Araki’s other films: a wild, conspiratorial science fiction trip that features slyly-integrated and powerful themes of young, amorphous sexuality. The film was awarded the inaugural (and significant) Queer Palm award at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, one of the most important monuments in the ongoing and evolving queer cinema movement.

Thor (May 6, everywhere) When Marvel Studios purchased the rights to a broad swath of the comic company’s defining characters, the hope

Chris Hemsworth in Thor. Image courtesy of Marvel.

was to create a cinematic universe that was as involved, complex and overlapping as the one on the page while culturally legitimizing its mythology through cinema instead of the dying art of the comic book.

That ongoing endeavor continues with Thor, the legitimization of which is far more

complete than any Marvel film property to date. While Iron Man featured Robert Downey Jr. and Samuel L. Jackson and The Incredible Hulk boasted Edward Norton, ’s credits are positively astounding for a comic book movie.

Two different Academy Award winners are involved in the project – Natalie Portman

and Anthony Hopkins (four if you count Samuel L. Jackson) – and the film was directed by legendary Shakespearean Kenneth Branagh. That, combined with the Thor character’s immensely rich mythology, makes the film one of the can’t-miss films of not only Marvel’s recent output, but the entire summer.

Patton Oswalt headed to Milwaukee

By Kevin Kaber Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

Stand-up comic Patton Oswalt is very experienced in his craft. Quite simply, he knows how to make people laugh. Audiences should expect no less at his upcoming show on Friday at the Pabst Theater.

Oswalt is described in many biographies as a former wedding DJ from Northern Virginia and is claimed to have been born female and had a sex change at age four.

Oswalt rose to popularity due to his raunchy nerd-core comedy routine that involves extensive pop-culture references and obscure fact-dropping. He’s won over many fans with bits on KFC and George Lucas.

The comic has also appeared in the series “The King of Queens” and has done a lot within the field of voice acting; he’s voiced characters such as the Original Fry Cook on “Spongebob Squarepants,” as well as Rémy in Disney-Pixar’s Ratatouille, not to mention numerous roles on the animated Adult Swim network. Fans understand the extremes of his comedy and mainstream materials. “[Voice-acting gigs] are jobs for hire, they adjust what

I do as a stand up,” Oswalt said in an interview with the Post. “I’m just reading from a script.”

Fans of his mainstream work may go to his standup shows, but Oswalt claims that “they always understand that it’s in an adult night club” and the material is his own words, not the words of others.

Oswalt rose to popularity due to his raunchy nerd-core comedy routine that involves extensive popculture references and obscure fact-dropping.

Recently Oswalt has published a book titled Zombie Spaceship Wasteland in which he wrote essays on numerous topics, such as working with a ninja-star-wielding employee at a movie theater in high school and writing notes on a fictional romantic comedy script.

He claims that his work is influenced by what he liked in books, music, television and films growing up. He incorporates his love of popculture into his work.

“It’s not that I particularly have a favorite one; it’s not like, ‘I really want to mix in this thing. How do I turn it into a bit?’ That’s the backwards way to how I do it,” Oswalt explained.

In the past, Oswalt has toured with comics Maria Bamford, Brian Posehn and Zach Galifianakis on the “Comedians of Comedy Tour,” which took place in small clubs rather than theaters. The 2004 tour was documented in a film of the same name.

Unfortunately, Milwaukee hasn’t elicited any significant memories for Oswalt. “I haven’t really been there long enough to have any experiences yet,” he said. “I come in the day of [the show] and leave the next day.”

Regardless, Friday’s audience should still anticipate nothing less of Oswalt’s branded culture-laden humor. As Oswalt puts it: “Me telling jokes into a microphone and then those jokes being broadcast to the amplifier on stage and then them hearing the jokes and hopefully laughing.”

uwmpost.com

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14 May 2, 2011

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The UWM Post

Step by step Dead Man’s Carnival burns up Turner Hall

A holding tank of fuel for sale is stored behind Future Green.

Post photo Sam Hogerton

By Steven Franz Asst. fringe Editor fringe@uwmpost.com

If you need any evidence at all that the vaudeville movement is undergoing a massive surge in popularity, look no further than Dead Man Carnival’s season-opening show this past Saturday, its first ever at the renovated Turner Hall Ballroom.

Five years ago it would have seemed absurd that the revivalist and revisionist act would have filled the space of the stage, let alone the seats, but if anything it was shown that these days Turner might just be the perfect venue for the newage burlesque circus.

The nightclub chair setup lent itself perfectly to the semiformal nature of many of the performances – especially Vee Valentine’s stripteases. The ballroom was the perfect size for Dead Man Carnival’s burgeoning popularity, and the burnt-out venue’s macabre decrepitness matched the show’s punk-rock DIY aesthetic (like the handpainted skeleton banners) to a T. Dead Man’s Carnival (DMC) was, and always has been, operating along the fine line between nightclub act and street performance, with many of its members having graced Milwaukee streetcorners and festivals for many years. Gypsy Geoff, a crowd favorite at Summerfest, was a combination of carnival barker, ringmaster and clown, while Sir Pinkerton Xyloma and his backers, The Magnificents, filled the role of house band and, in a few cases, front-andcenter musical performance.

But the old-time entertainment vein ran deeper than simply the ragtag group of reformed corner performers; there were substantial elements of burlesque (both modern and classical), circus and sideshow.

Brew City Bombers star Vee Valentine offered up not one but two stripteases and a Vegasquality fan dance, while Austinexport Kittie Weaver, herself a testament to vaudeville’s massive nationwide revival, put on a spectacularly flawed hoop dance that wowed despite a few endearing mistakes.

Several juggling acts were featured – including a multiperson glow-in-the-dark stage-filler to start the second

set – as well as a few impressive sideshow acts that drew on both classical acts of the early 20th century and modern performances like the Jim Rose show (which drew huge crowds at Lollapalooza in the 1990s).

There was Titano, the sixfoot-eight-inch, 280-pounder (neither of which measurement was likely true, a tribute to the fact-embellishing carnival barkers of old) who had the innate ability to drive nails through Teflon frying pans with his bare hands.

There was also Travis Green, whose spina bifida left him with the legs of a small child but the upper body of an adult, lending itself to the only act I’ve ever seen that combined the little person and the strongman that culminated with a handstand trot up and down a few homemade steps.

And even Sir Pinkerton himself got in on the sideshow action, demonstrating the famed blockhead act – icepick through the nostril, the usual deal – which he learned directly from the man who invented the act, Melvin Burkhardt.

Pinkerton, who is one of the chief architects of the DMC, along with his musical band of miscreants had a tendency to steal the show, even from TomWaits-lookalike Gypsy Geoff ’s lovable clown routine.

Among their more risqué routines were musical tributes to “young love” and crystal meth, the former of which was a boisterous soul song and the latter was a driving punk jig. And the music itself was top-notch, often drawing on western European, specifically British, folk traditions for a very familiarly innovative rock-and-roll formula.

It was apparent at some points that even the performers themselves were slightly overwhelmed by the meteoric ascension of the DMC in only a few months. In the last year, the troupe has launched themselves from their traditional venue, the Miramar Theatre (where their last New Year’s Eve show was held) to the Stonefly Brewery on Center Street, a much more modern space, and almost overnight to the Turner ballroom itself.

There might not be many more venues to aspire to in the city, but don’t be surprised if Dead Man’s Carnival ends up at those as well.

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The Jackpot Gallery will feature local artists’ Star Wars-influenced pieces in honor of International Star Wars Day. Post Photo by Sierra Riesberg

Aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?

Jackpot Gallery brings out the Star Wars fan in all of us

By Justin Hamilton Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

This coming Wednesday will see a meeting of two worlds normally far removed from each other: fine art and Star Wars.

Riverwest’s Jackpot Gallery will host their exhibition “May the Fourth Be With You” in honor of the unofficial international Star Wars Day on May 4.

The fan-invented holiday is a long running tradition among aspiring Jedis worldwide. Marathon screenings of the films and costume parties are staples of the celebration.

Some fans have even gone as far as to try founding a “Church of Jediism” with May 4 as an official holiday for the religion.

This year, however, Jackpot operators Sean Heiser and Martha Johnson offer something that both die-hard skywalkers and casual viewers alike can enjoy. Jackpot will continue their trend of highlighting young emerging artists with “The Fourth” and have secured more than a dozen local painters, printers and general art makers to contribute Star Wars inspired work to the showing.

Patrons can be sure to expect a large spectrum of work to be represented with so many varied contributors paying homage to George Lucas’ iconic series in their own unique ways. The collaborative showing and nature of an opening based around such well-known and whimsical subject matter should prove for an enjoyable and accessible experience for any viewer and will hopefully entice some additional visitors not typically drawn to conventional art exhibitions to stop in for the festivities.

The exhibition will occupy the gallery, located at 825 E. Center St. in the heart of Riverwest, through May 11, with an opening reception taking place on the May 4 starting at 6 p.m.

In the wake of this month’s Gallery Night, “May the Fourth Be With You” sticks out as a breath of fresh air amongst the rest of city’s more traditional and longer running exhibits this spring. The opening will no doubt feature its share of eccentric moments and give everyone in attendance a chance to unabashedly embrace his or her inner science-fiction geek for a night over some fine art.

May 2, 2011 15

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16 May 2, 2011

The UWM Post

At Latl yields for charity Benefit show raises funds for community shares

By Timothy Sienko Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

On Wednesday, April 27, local rockers At Latl took to Yield’s small stage to benefit Community Shares of Greater Milwaukee, a charitable fundraising organization. The second of a three-night music series for the charity drew a small crowd with a $3 cover charge.

In an era when popular music and benefits seem to go hand in hand, it’s easy to confuse a cause with the artistic content being performed.

But the broad and somewhat vague goals of Community Shares, coupled with drummer Kevin Christensen’s grounded rhythms and the familiar lyrical narratives of At Latl’s songwriters Kent Watson and Dan Mahony, revealed very little connection between the charity and the artists. There seemed to be only a genuine goodwill that drove the band to support Community Shares, and that was enough.

The audience of at most 20 were all engaged, sometimes

singing along with Watson’s earthy spoken/sung vocals, sometimes dancing to the galloping drum patterns. It was clear that they were there to enjoy the music.

Community Shares, which raises money on behalf of a number of unnamed charities in the areas of social justice, the environment, and animal welfare, remained relatively low-profile with just a sign, a table, and a handful pamphlets. A man in a T-shirt at the table sold raffle tickets for Brewers tickets as the band sang about the diff use pain and contradictions of a middle-aged man, a moment of redemption lost, and the total lack of regret of a 20-something home-wrecker.

When Watson sings, “It was Jesus, oh my God / I am the Father / I am the Son / and I can’t believe that the other car won,” on “Jesus Won’t Wait” of Christ’s reaction to a car collision, he seems to be invoking a larger apathy for personal stories. “We used to drink the whiskey from the river / But

See AT LATL page 18

I love you man Are we ready for a gay soldier?

By Jon Tingley Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

I love you, man Are we ready for a gay soldier?

This week, as I was reading one of my favorite junk blogs, Gawker. com, I noticed a story about a recent Budweiser ad. In said ad there is a soldier coming home from war to a barn full of people welcoming him. The ad has caused some controversy in the blogosphere because people are questioning whether this soldier is gay due to the fact that the first person the soldier embraces upon his return is a sexy bearded man.

One commenter hypothesized that “in the world of commercials, the person who gets the first hug when the soldier returns from war is the romantic partner – in the absence of a romantic partner, the mother is always first.” While this is a fairly astute observa-

tion, I doubt that this commercial is deserving of the level of interpretation that these commenters have engaged in.

In a world where “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is still a divisive topic, I’m not sure that any advertiser would recommend that a company use a national broadcast advertisement to make this kind of statement. If anything, it’s likely that Budweiser and its advertising firm either didn’t think about other sexual identities at all when planning this ad or they intentionally left the images vague because they were simply focusing on portraying their beer as the beer of returning war veterans, nothing more. So what do these comments and blog posts really tell us?

We’re still uncomfortable with sexual identity If we look at the current battles being waged over the

See TINGLEY page 18

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The National returns to Milwaukee Critically-acclaimed band gives the fans what they want

By Patrice Vnuk Asst. fringe Editor fringe@uwmpost.com

A concert on a Tuesday night usually has difficulty drawing a big crowd – unless the bill features a name like The National.

A band that has been around since the early ’90s and has put out five full-length albums is sure to have a solid fan-base, and a diverse one at that. People of all ages, college students and “cool dads” alike filled in the Riverside’s auditorium for The National’s return to Milwaukee, along with Twin Shadow and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart.

Three bands playing a seated venue on a weekday night yields interesting results. Twin Shadow and The Pains of Being Pure at Heart were moved over to the Riverside from Turner Hall, thereby crunching down each band’s time onstage and mixing together a variety of rock genres. While this didn’t ruin the show by any means, it certainly added some tension.

Watching a concert from rows of seats is a completely different experience than standing up front in the middle of the crowd, which was reserved solely for the wrist-banded. It was a bit inhibiting.

This stiff feeling was apparent while opener Twin Shadow performed – especially when audience members actually asked the band who they were.

Even though Twin Shadow has a highly acclaimed album (2010’s Forget) and has toured worldwide, their notoriety ap-

parently hasn’t reached every corner of our state.

When The Pains of Being Pure at Heart followed up, the room was considerably fuller and more receptive to the relatively lesser-known band. It was lucky for them, considering that of the three bands, their poppy, light-hearted music was the odd one out.

But the audience came to life once The National took the stage. Their steady guitar riffs and singer Matt Berninger’s smooth baritone voice filled the Riverside in a way that sounded like an amplified version of their albums.

Berninger conversed freely with the crowd and downed a glass of wine while onstage – fitting for his age, but still an unusual sight at a concert.

They gave off a big-sound vibe and kept a calm demeanor, letting their music excite the audience on its own.

Splitting the set list mostly between their two latest albums, Boxer and High Violet, Berninger apologized for the sad song choices, saying, “We’ve picked a particularly bleak set for you guys tonight.” But even the most morose songs kept the enthusiastic fans going. One person handed Berninger a sign that read, “Your music makes us happy.”

With crowd favorites like “Mistaken for Strangers” and “Conversation 16,” The National had everyone on their side from the very beginning. The show offered no surprises or anything one wouldn’t expect from veteran musicians playing to their die-hard fans, but their high standard for quality sound never wavered.

Nintendo’s version of Thor takes the cake as the God of Thunder prepares to take on three new video game systems. Image Courtesy of Sega

Get ready for Thor’s Hammer An upcoming trio of Thor games

By Tom Kosiec Staff Writer fringe@uwmpost.com

like scenes in the PS2 classic Shadow of the Colossus.

The God of Thunder finally makes his way to the silver screen this Friday, and not surprisingly, a video game will be released alongside the new movie. What’s surprising is that three different versions come out May 2, and each title offers something different. Take a look below to find out which title lives up to the Thor name.

Based on early previews of the game from several video game websites, this game looks like it would make a solid rental, but lacks substance. It seems to be the type of game you can blast through in a weekend and then quickly forget about afterwards. The graphics are nice and having the movie’s cast doing voice work is a plus, but the core gameplay doesn’t really offer anything new that hasn’t been seen in other third-person action games before.

Thor for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 First the bad news: This game is developed by Sega, who is responsible for last summer’s mediocre Iron Man 2 videogame adaption. The good news is that Thor is still cut above most movie shovelware titles. The story for the game is completely original and separate from the films.

Matt Fraction from Marvel Comics wrote the script that takes Thor to several worlds from the comic books that aren’t shown in the film. Game play is similar to most thirdperson action games with an emphasis on melee combo attacks and magic. If you’ve played God of War you’ll feel right at home here. Boss battles, on the other hand, will be massive in scale and play out

The verdict

Thor for Wii This game is similar to the first Thor game, but the graphics are closer to the comic books than they are to the film. Thor for Wii is also action-oriented, and players can literally make combos last 200 hits or more. Also, like most other Wii titles, motion controls substitute for pressing buttons on the controller to perform advance maneuvers.

This game’s main selling point is that it includes exclusive flight levels that play out like a light gun game where you shoot everything on screen as the game moves on its own.

The verdict At $10 cheaper than the Xbox version, this one has a slight disadvantage over its older brother. The exclusive flight levels are a nice gesture, but this game lacks the graphical finesse of the HD versions. This title will likely be in the Wii bargain bin a few months after the movie’s release, so you may want to just wait or rent it.

Thor for DS Playing to the DS’s strength, this game is a 2D side-scrolling brawler with a vibrant art style that makes effective use of both screens. For example, boss battles will utilize both screens allowing Thor to attack his enemies from above and below. The game encourages speedy play, and resembles the arcade-y action of Contra 4. Lastly, the developers wisely stuck to a simple control scheme that doesn’t involve using the stylus for touch control.

The verdict Out of the three, this one has the most going for it. The developer Wayward has a proven track record of creating solid DS games like Shantae: Risky Revenge, Contra 4, and Batman: The Brave and the Bold. If you liked those games you probably won’t regret your purchase.

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18 May 2, 2011

Hailing from Baltimore, the eerie psych-folk album was released back in July, but didn’t make it to my collection until last month, and has been in and out of my earphones quite consistently. I chose this track to open the tape because the second the song starts, my mind moves. Opening with an addictive bouncing bass-line, “Holy Water” instantly takes off and almost makes you feel like you need to chase it down. It’s instrumental and inspirational, and is a good song for thinkin’ to.

Meandering movement The fourth in a series of UWM Post Mixtapes, this mix was let loose in a free-flowing manner, letting the dialogue itself take the reigns to steer the flow of the music. This mix is titled Meandering Movement, reflecting the mix’s meandering intentions.

Dustin Zarnikow fringe Editor

Lower Dens “Holy Water”

Brightblack Morning Light “Another Reclamation”

Although Jana Hunter has been around the music scene for a bit, her latest project Lower Dens is one of the latest discoveries I’ve made, and probably one of the latest discoveries she’s made as well, having released only their debut Twin-Hand Movement thus far.

When using terms like “psychfolk,” “dad-rock” or “electro-pop for housewives,” listeners (and critics) need to be careful. In other words, Dustin’s mention of “psych-folk” is not inaccurate, but such terms make us ask ourselves just what exactly is “psychedelic” in this case – the recording quality, the message or what the artist had for breakfast.

For this reason, I decided to stretch the definition of the “psych-” prefi x and apply it to something modern.

Brightblack Morning Light is a husband-and-wife duo from Alabama that truly lives “off the grid” – as in a self-sufficient solar-powered recording studio in New Mexico. Rachael Hughes (Rhodes piano) and Nathan Shineywater (electric guitar) often use Northern California sidemen to complete their imagination, but their work is consistently mesmerizing.

On record, the two have been known to poeticize America’s Native American past, and if there were more than a few thousand of those folks left, they might appreciate it (or be impressed). “Another Reclamation” is a ballsy countercultural statement in this category, a track that calls out to a distant fron-

AT LATL Continued from page 16 now we stay inside / We used to call this the promised land / But the promise all ran dry,” from the set-opener “Drought,” was perhaps the most socially conscious line in their catalogue.

TINGLEY Continued from page 16

Defense of Marriage Act, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” or Proposition 8, it’s easy to see that the nation is divided on this issue. But this discussion hasn’t just permeated national politics; it’s all over the media as well.

But should the sexual identity of an individual really be newsworthy? In the last month, there have been stories about a young man being asked to leave school for wearing high heels, as well as nationwide outrage over a J. Crew ad featuring a six-year-old with painted toenails.

The UWM Post

tier, even if it’s unclear where that is. Nevertheless, the liberation they preach is etched – literally – into the grooves of this track. It goes great with incense.

Graham Marlowe Staff Writer

Brief Candles “June” Moving from the ’70s steeped atmosphere of “Holy Water,” I’ll transition into the ‘80s inspired shoegaze sounds of Milwaukee’s own Brief Candles. This airtight five-piece is one of Milwaukee’s best-kept secrets, mixing dancey rhythms with spaced-out and reverb-heavy guitars.

“June” opens with a throbbing and fluid baseline that simultaneously invites you to shuffle your feet and reminisce on some distant summer nights. And while their recordings lean toward dreamy atmosphere, their live performances are charged and infectious events that fill basements every time. The selftitled album is a great fit for a relaxing night at home or background score to some laid-back porch hanging with friends.

Justin Hamilton Staff Writer

Collections of Colonies of Bees “Flocks IV” Milwaukee post-rock outfit Collections of Colonies of Bees is better-known these days for its multitude of side-projects – All Tiny Creatures (whose new album Harbors is getting rave reviews) and Volcano Choir, which features Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon among them.

But the group itself has as much a penchant for brightly sprawling, driving anthems as any of its subsequent diversions, and is perhaps more rewarding still. “Flocks IV,” from 2008’s Birds, is essentially three

songs in one, a patient track with several slowly unfolding stages: a long, quiet intro, a sunny, dancing midsection, and an outro that seems to tail out into infinity.

One can’t put too much stock in what a Collections song is about, per se; the point is the experience, and to that regard Collections is one of the most enervating and immersive musical experiences in the local scene.

There’s an element of placidity to “Flocks IV,” as with most of their material, and Collections is one of the few bands that is able to push twee instrumentation past its normal indie rock constraints and get at something deeper, even if it’s totally unspoken. And as a bonus, they’re absolutely joyous live.

Steven Franz Asst. fringe Editor

Múm “Green Grass of Tunnels” Although I couldn’t get any less local with Múm (from Iceland), their synthy, experimental pop seems like it could be pepped up version of Collections of Colonies of Bees with a Sigur Rós twist. Formed in 1997, the band has released several albums – most in English – and rotates its members fairly often. They rely heavily on soft, female vocals to complement their electronics-based music.

“Green Grass of Tunnels,” a single off their second album Finally We Are No One, sounds like another great Icelandic product, complete with a glitchy beat and smooth melody. It embodies the band’s understated persona; they’re not into flashy stage effects or posting 5,000 pictures on MySpace.

And even though I’m not entirely sure how to pronounce “Múm,” it seems to exude the same quiet confidence their music does.

Patrice Vnuk Asst. fringe Editor

The wordless vocal harmony on the shout chorus of “Jesus Won’t Wait” exemplifies At Latl at their best, a three-piece rhythm section so locked and loaded that there is no space between the lyrics and their music, between the words and their narrative.

And while Community Shares got some exposure and a few dol-

lars for their missions, the audience got an hour of elegantly simple rock music, which, for better and worse, served to help them forget about social injustices and animal abuse. Both pursuits felt worthwhile, no matter how little they seemed to have in common.

Sexuality is better explored through personal interaction

It might actually be getting better for gay people

This may be a stretch, but I’ve often heard about young non-heterosexual people attempting to explore their sexuality through what they see in the media rather than through life experiences.

While it is good for the entertainment and advertising industries to show sexual diversity, most depictions are still relegated to stereotypical caricatures. It’s increasingly important for people to gain an understanding of their sexuality through interactions with friends, family and others.

As many of us have already found, pop culture is not necessarily an accurate reflection of people and lifestyles.

Even though we may sometimes hear negative comments in the media about members of the LGBT community, I think the fact that we’re having these conversations in public is a sign that more and more people are aware of the issues facing LGBT people. When these issues come to the forefront, so do support services. With the rise in awareness of LGBT issues we have seen a rise in support for those individuals, such as the “It Gets Better” campaign.

Are we ready for a gay soldier?

I think that remains uncertain.

But the reality is that we already have gay soldiers, uncles, cousins, sons, daughters and other loved ones. Let’s be real folks.

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“Trump”-ed-up If you want to charges win, hire a Finn!

The end of the Birther myth

Teaching drivers how to spin out can reduce future accidents

By John Prellwitz Automotive Columnist editorial@uwmpost.com

Image courtesy of lehighvalleylive.com

By Joseph Kay Staff Writer editorial@uwmpost.com

How come every presidential election cycle has to take it up a notch in the stupidity department?

Real-estate billionaire and comb-over enthusiast Donald Trump is likely running for president and, according to a recent Newsmax poll, he is actually leading the Republican field.

This is absolutely ridiculous, and now I am sure it will not be long before Larry the Cable Guy or Foghorn Leghorn gets the nomination. The other explanation for Trump’s lead is that he is exploiting one of the worst elements of current political interest: the Birther myth.

Since this myth has been thoroughly discredited, the Birther movement must now be seen for what it truly is: a cynical group of racebaiters running around in tinfoil hats.

Is this a publicity stunt, or am I really supposed to take “the Donald” seriously? The man is a charlatan – and a laughable one at that. He built a business empire with money he inherited from his father, developed a public persona of a Scrooge McDuck-like billionaire, and after becoming a reality TV star, he actually filed to have his catchphrase, “You’re fired,” trademarked.

How did such a caricature become an early frontrunner in presidential politics? Well, for starters, most of the other potential Republican candidates have not even announced an interest. Those who have – Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney – are so boring and uninspired that they actually make John Kerry look

exciting.

Yet, as I write these very words, I can read headlines that announce “Obama releases long-form birth certificate,” and yet there are still people who honestly believe President Barack Obama was not born in the United States and is not legally qualified to be the President. There is a term for these people: racists.

Now, as much I dislike the Tea Party and everything it stands for, I can at least appreciate the fact that they are concerned about our country and they care enough about politics to get involved. I would not use the term “racists” as a blanket statement about Tea Partiers.

The so-called Birthers, on the other hand, I would.

The widespread and particularly disgusting rumor that our nation’s first African-American President was not born here in America, but rather Kenya or Indonesia, is simply racist.

It is lowest common denominator politics to say America’s first black President was born in Africa – his American citizenship was verified long before he even ran for President.

Since this myth has been thoroughly discredited once and for all, the Birther movement must now be seen for what it truly is – a cynical group of race-baiters running around in tinfoil hats.

My God, even Glenn Beck thinks these people are crazy, and I haven’t met a conservative yet who hasn’t winced when I brought them up. When there are real problems facing the country, these conspiracy theories do nothing but distract the politicians, the media and the public from focusing on important issues, like healthcare and job creation.

Obama summed it up quite well when he said, “We do not have time for this kind of silliness.” He is absolutely right; this whole issue has been, and continues to be, a complete waste of everyone’s time.

Well, except Donald Trump’s, apparently.

A young driver is nearing the end of his licensing exam when he crosses a patch of standing water and suddenly, the car slews sideways. The rear tires lose grip, and the car snaps 180 degrees. Momentum shifts the car’s weight to the rear, and now the front tires lose traction. The car swings around another 180 degrees and the driver continues on as if nothing happened.

YouTube win, driving test fail, right? Wrong. The driver exits the car with a big smile on his face – he passed with flying colors. The spin out was intentional and required to

pass the driver’s exam, as has become standard procedure in Finland.

Compare that to an American driving test where we have to perform such daring maneuvers as changing lanes, not speeding, and if the examiner’s having a really bad day, parallel parking in a space one-and-a-half times the length of our car.

It might explain why Finnish drivers have won the World Rally Championship 14 times (France is second with only eight), and the U.S. has won it … never. And why a new scuff gets added to the retaining wall of the northbound-43/ eastbound-94 interchange every time it rains. This despite a large flashing sign that warns drivers to take the curve at 40 mph and that the road is – surprise! – “Slippery when wet.”

Finland’s skid-pad training has been in existence for decades, but it was placed on hiatus in the 1980s out of concern that it made young drivers over-confident and led to more accidents. Then in 1990, the skid-pad was reintroduced to the curriculum as an experiment. (Imagine Gruber Law Office’s new commercial if the U.S. Department of Transportation performed a test with the intention of causing more accidents…)

Contrary to the original hypothesis, foul-weather accidents did not increase, and in fact, the overall accident rate saw a sharp decline.

I once heard the question posed, “If you’re riding in a car at 60 mph and a tire blows, who do you want at the wheel, your mom or [four-time NASCAR champion] Jeff Gordon?” You’d wish for Gordon, because years of racing experience has taught him how to handle a vehicle under less than ideal conditions and react calmly to the unexpected.

The time to learn emergency car control is not while the emergency is occurring.

It should be taught in a controlled environment where there is minimal risk to the

See ACCIDENTS page 20

“I (heart) boobies” Judge rules against banning racy bracelets

By Eric Engelbart Staff Writer editorial@uwmpost.com

A ubiquitous trend in America recently is a bracelet worn by the youth of our nation in support of raising breast cancer awareness. Where is the controversy in supporting breast cancer awareness?

In this case, the controversy stems from the bracelet’s display slogans, one of which is “I (heart) Boobies.” This slogan is deemed inappropriate for young students by some concerned parents and teachers.

Two students, Brianna Hawk and Kayla Martinez, were recently suspended for wearing the bracelets on Breast Cancer Awareness Day. The faculty of the girls’ school saw the bracelets as offensive, vulgar and disruptive to the learning process.

However, a federal judge ruled in favor of the girls. U.S Judge Mary McLaughlin, who was the judge when the issue went to trial, stated that: “The bracelets can reasonably be viewed as speech designed to raise awareness of breast cancer and to reduce stigma associated with openly discussing breast health.”

In a culture that seems to value the Second Amendment more than the First, it’s encouraging that there are still judges

Image courtesy of zumiez.com with the best interests of our populace in mind.

The decision of the case echoed that of Tinker v. Des Moines from years ago, when it was found that students couldn’t be penalized for wearing clothing that protested the Vietnam War. The idea is that students should be allowed to express their opinions, and their right to critical thinking should be nurtured by educators – not restricted.

The fact that the breast cancer awareness bracelets are of

such concern to a dissenting conservative voice is nonsensical at best. The bracelets help open a dialogue about something that is otherwise not being spoken about openly enough among American youth.

These bracelets, and things like them, are valuable tools of democracy. Though the bracelets are a bit audacious in their use of language, they are helping spark conversation and create awareness, and that can only benefit society.

The UWM Post

20 May 2, 2011

The Verbal Vegan

Free speech sent to slaughter Legislation backed by animal agriculture violates free speech, consumers’ rights

By Sarah Hanneken Columnist editorial@uwmpost.com

There’s nothing like a locked door to spur one’s curiosity, and there’s nothing more suspicious than a blatant effort to conceal the truth.

Considering this, a recent effort on behalf of the animal agriculture industry has given us yet another reason to be cynical about their treatment of animals and the integrity of the industry as a whole.

In several states where animal agriculture is a dominant force both economically and politically, legislators have been vigorously pushing forth efforts to outlaw undercover investigations of factory farms and slaughterhouses. Such investigations generally involve the inadvertent hiring of an undercover animal activist who, while going about his or her assigned duties, is able to record the operation’s behindthe-scenes practices via a hidden camera.

The use of covert investigations to expose abuse in agriculture is nothing new. In 1904, the journalist Upton Sinclair worked in meatpacking plants for several weeks while gathering research for his book The Jungle. He included detailed descriptions of the plant conditions, which, upon the book’s publication in 1906, prompted

ACCIDENTS Continued from page 19 driver and to others. Many accidents would be avoidable, but drivers panic and slam on their brakes when the correct response might be to steer – or even accelerate.

Compare that to an American driving test where we have to perform such daring maneuvers as changing lanes, not speeding, and if the examiner’s having a really bad day, parallel parking in a space oneand-a-half times the length of our car.

I was riding shotgun this past winter when our driver exited the freeway at too high a speed for the snowy conditions.

He braked hard and turned the wheel, but ABS is useless once a car has been pushed beyond its limits. We started sliding in a

federal regulation of the industry for the first time in American history.

As the nation’s largest producer of eggs and pork, the state of Iowa has been at the forefront of efforts to ban such tactics.

“A bill currently before the Iowa legislature would make it a crime to produce, distribute or possess photos and video taken without permission at an agricultural facility,” reads a recent New York Times article.

“Similar legislation is being considered in Florida and Minnesota, part of a broader effort by large agricultural companies to preemptively block the kind of investigations that have left their operations uncomfortably – and unpredictably – open to scrutiny,” the Times writes.

Yet this unpredictable susceptibility to scrutiny is precisely what must be preserved.

Undercover investigations of animal agriculture facilities have revealed tragic conditions and horrific molestations that would have continued indefinitely had law enforcement not been alerted.

The NYT article reports: “After a 2008 investigation of an Iowa pig farm showed workers beating sows and piglets as well as bragging about the abuse, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals turned over its unedited video to law enforcement, leading to criminal convictions against workers for animal abuse.” straight line towards the ditch.

He froze, holding the pedal to the floor and continued steering right to no effect. Releasing the brake is the most unnatural decision in the world under these conditions, but it’s required to get the car back under control.

I convinced him to lift his foot and reduce steering input; the tires regained traction and we continued around the off-ramp without further incident.

This “seat of the pants” feel that warns when a car is approaching its limit can only be learned through practice. Mine came in the form of a gravel road my family shared with a neighboring farmer. He wasn’t too pleased the few times I slid off it and stuffed my truck’s undercarriage with his precious soybeans, but the lessons I learned from those mistakes saved me from a few accidents out in traffic.

Chances are the DOT won’t be adapting the Finnish skidpad into driver’s ed anytime soon. Until then, it’s up to the individual to learn at-thelimit car control. Don’t wait for the snow – next time it rains, find a remote location, set up some traffic cones and make mistakes ’til you get it right.

Lives are worth more than soybeans.

Without a lingering fear of these whistleblowers, what’s to stop workers in these inherently violent industries from engaging in such sadistic behavior?

The fact that livestock operations and slaughterhouses are so vehemently opposed to the distribution of footage taken at their facilities speaks to the reality of these abusive acts.

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.”

– Sir Paul McCartney

The industry will do whatever it takes to maintain the illusion of shiny red barns and merry farm animals as they invariably appear in children’s books – renditions that bear absolutely no resemblance to real-world operations.

A similar bill before the Minnesota legislature takes the proposal a step further.

Not only would it outlaw photographs and videos taken without permission at farms and slaughterhouses, it would extend the injunction to other animal industries, such as puppy mills and pounds.

The bill’s language explicitly prohibits the production, distribution or possession of photos and video taken without permission at an agricultural operation, and distribution is kind of the media’s thang…

But wait, there’s more. As if this blatant breach of our rights to free speech and free press wasn’t enough, they also want to make it illegal to simply possess such images. In other words, they want to make it illegal for anyone to have visual evidence of animal abuse – itself a crime, need I remind you.

So you can see the absurdity (not to mention the unconstitutionality) of this whole proposal. And yet, despite the obvious impropriety of such a bill, its proponents have the whole agricultural industry behind them. If history is any indication, this provides reasonable cause for concern; when First Amendment rights come up against the economic interests of Big Industry, the battle often goes to the bully.

Yet this doesn’t have to be the case. According to The Guardian, the British government “is calling on nearly 370 slaughterhouses to install surveillance cameras to help enforce legislation against cruelty to animals.” This move was precipitated by a 2010 exposé involving undercover footage of cows, sheep and pigs being kicked, stamped on and improperly stunned in seven slaughterhouses across

England. The footage was taken from hidden cameras that had been secretly installed in the slaughterhouses by members of the U.K. animal-rights group Animal Aid. The British government’s reaction to this footage puts America to shame in its priorities. Tim Smith, the chief executive of the Food Standards Agency (FSA) in Britain, said that although he would not condone the way the footage was obtained, he sees Animal Aid’s actions as an overall positive thing. He explained, “It doesn’t really matter how the footage was obtained, or how it came into our presence. [What matters] is what the FSA as the enforcer in this area thinks.”

In our culture, seeing is believing. People will generally not accept an allegation against a company or industry (especially one they contribute to) on the basis of word alone, and I’m certainly not suggesting that they should. People demand (and deserve) hard evidence before making any alterations to their purchasing habits, and producers are well aware of this; they are therefore promoting legislation to make such evidence harder to come by.

Paul McCartney once said, “If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” It’s simply a matter of knowing. We mustn’t let producers make the walls any more opaque than they already are.

Image courtesy of persianassolarium.com

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May 2, 2011 21

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22 May 2, 2011

PRIMAL URGES

PRIMALURGES@UWMPOST.COM

ANDREW MEGOW

Pet of the Week Pumpkin Meet Pumpkin! A tabby cat whose name speaks for his physical features—large and orange!

Pumpkin is attached to certain people, and it takes awhile to gain his trust. But once you have that, he makes the most precious cat on earth! He loves to be cradled while having his belly rubbed. He is the best cuddler I know! He can be a little annoying, though, as he tries to sneak onto my lap while working on homework.

At night he is a ball of energy and plays with his favorite ribbon! I can’t imagine waking up without him making biscuits on my chest.

(Biscuits is the action of alternating pushing one’s paws on a surface, similar to kneading dough to make biscuits!)

CORPORATE HORROR

JOSEPH KUENZLE

Send us photos of your pet, with its name and a little about them to petoftheweek@uwmpost.com.

May 2, 2011 23

uwmpost.com

Sudoku INSTRUCTIONS: Fill in the squares so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the numbers 1 through 9 exactly once.

©2011 Jonas Wittke

Solution found on page 4

THE UWM POST CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 “Remember the ____” 6 Bunches 10 Prefix meaning “less than normal” 14 Measuring tool 15 Injure 16 Staircase fixture 17 Domesticated 18 Part of HOMES 19 Herring relative 20 “Green” marketing word 23 Solitary 24 Greed, for example 25 Shallow pond 27 Facial feature 30 Almonds and cashews, for two 33 Snacked 34 Region 36 Is in working condition 38 Excessive 42 “Green” marketing words 45 Arm 46 Meat alternative 47 Ms. Brockovich 48 Roll this 50 Butter servings 52 Airport abbr.

53 Primps 56 Familiar article 58 Lab animal 59 “Green” marketing word (hyph.)

66 Feel pain 68 Do what you’re told 69 Open patios 70 Adolescent 71 Memorization 72 Treat alternative 73 Is human 74 Oolong and rooibos, for two 75 Is enthusiastic about

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INSTRUCTIONS: Fill in the squares so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the following letters exactly once: U, S, A, T, D, N, O, C, I. One row or column will reveal a hidden word!

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Jonas Wittke, 2011

DOWN 1 Music and theatre 2 Hawaiian feast 3 Charity 4 Becomes acquainted with 5 Establish by decree 6 At which time 7 Nimbus 8 Small amount 9 Streetcar Named Desire character 10 Day pts.

11 Google competitor 12 Baby grand, for example 13 Relating to a bygone era 21 Entomb 22 Devour (2 wds.)

26 Category of music 27 Doily decoration 28 Iran’s neighbor 29 South American nation 31 Clump

32 35 37 39 40 41 43 44 49 51 53 54 55 57 60 61 62 63 64 65 67

Mr. Dogg Tolerate Couch Urgent Part of a group Sicilian spewer State a point of view ____-Frutti Travel with Blade case Talk long and idly Type of snake Anesthetic Submission Reed instrument Greek cheese Bread types Leaky faucet noise Scalp parasites Domesticated oxen Type widths solution found on page 4

©2011 Jonas Wittke

Solution found on page 4

In-word

THIS WEEK’S IN-WORD: LAUNDRY

INSTRUCTIONS: Find as many words as possible using only the letters from this week’s IN-WORD. Words must be four or more letters long.

Slang words, proper nouns, and contractions are not permitted. Only one form of a verb is permitted. Words that become four or more letters by the addition of “s” are not permitted.

Can you find 19 or more words in “LAUNDRY?”

©2011 Jonas Wittke

Solution found on page 4

24 May 2, 2011

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