March 12, 2012

THE Varsity Vol. CXXXII, No. 21

University of Toronto’s Student Newspaper Since 1880

12 March, 2011

Team Unity sweeps to victory Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

StudentsFirst, Tanoli lose by a wide margin Munib Sajjad

Abigail Cudjoe

Shaun Shepherd

Simon Bredin ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

Team Unity emerged victorious in Friday’s preliminary election results, but for their opponents, the end of the election battle could be weeks away.

Current UTSU VP external Shaun Shepherd is set to replace president Danielle Sandhu. Independent presidential candidate Rohail Tanoli received slightly more votes than StudentsFirst candidate Brent Schmidt, but even with their votes combined, the two candidates would still have lost to Shepherd. The rest of Shepherd’s executive team was also elected by a wide margin.

Corey Scott will return to his post as VP internal and services.

The other newly elected executive members are Noor Baig (equity), Abigail Cudjoe (external), and Munib Sajjad (university affairs).

Positions on the board of directors were split between Team Unity and independent candidates.

Eight Team Unity candidates were acclaimed to their positions.

After the UTSU elections’ highest appeal board, the Elections and Referenda Appeals Committee, reinstated Unity candidates to the race on Thursday night, Ali Mustafa Bello, Baliqis Hashiru, and Khalid Khan eked out narrow victories at New College. Non-Unity candidates, meanwhile, claimed victories at St. Michael’s College and Trinity College.

Though Team Unity won the election, it has emerged battered and openly derided in arenas of student politics like Twitter and Facebook. One Facebook note posted by Team Unity during the campaign attracted over 100 lengthy, angry responses.

Following the lead of a fake Twitter account used to censure opposition figure Brett Chang, several other fake accounts cropped up over the week to mock everyone from StudentsFirst to Team Unity.

Even though the ballots have already been counted, discontented opposition supporters who allege that the election was conducted unfairly continue to lodge formal complaints with the CRO. A significant backlog of these complaints, appeals, and re-appeals could mean that a final conclusion to the events of the campaign may be weeks away.

Although they continue to seek resolution through established means, the opposition is also taking matters into its own hands.

Following their initial frustrations with the decisions made by chief returning officer Daniel Lo, opposition supporters have been compiling a databank of evidence pointing towards alleged infractions overlooked by Lo. On Saturday night, they began to leak their evidence through a Facebook page created for that express purpose entitled “Unity Dirty Tricks.” The group had existed briefly during the campaign but was taken down over fears that Lo would penalize StudentsFirst candidates already teetering on the edge of disqualification.

“Results” CONTINUED P3

Executive Election Results President: 4739

Shaun Shepherd— 2723 Brent Schmidt — 755 Rohail Tanoli — 1020 Spoiled — 241

57.6% 15.9% 21.5% 5.0%

Internal & services: 4721

Corey Scott — 2945 Dylan Moore — 1453 Spoiled — 323

62.4% 30.8% 6.8%

University affairs: 4721

Munib Sajjad — 2936 Carmen Reilly — 1431 Spoiled — 354

62.2% 30.3% 7.5%

External: 4707

Abigail Cudjoe — 2994 Alex Ripley — 1334 Spoiled — 379

63.6% 28.3% 8.1%

Equity: 4734

Noor Baig — 3056 Karthy Chin — 1297 Spoiled — 381

64.6% 27.4% 8.0%

Noor Baig

Corey Scott

Contradicting rulings invite scrutiny Unity candidates disqualified then re-qualified in committee tug-of-war Simon Bredin ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

In a dizzying turn of events, 22 Team Unity board of directors candidates were briefly disqualified Thursday, then re-qualified hours later by two separate election committees.

Though the disqualified candidates won their seats the next day, the controversial rulings brought both committees under close scrutiny.

Disqualified then re-qualified The Elections and Referenda Committee (ERC) overturned rulings made by embattled chief returning officer Daniel Lo Thursday morning, leading to 21 demerit points across the board to Team Unity.

The swath of demerits given to the slate meant that as polls remained open Thursday, 22 of their 26 candidates were technically disqualified.

The threshold for disqualification for most board of directors (BOD) positions is 20 points, while at-large candidates require 30 points and executives 35 points. All disqualified members were running for BOD positions.

Unity was punished for making misleading statements on the campaign trail.

The committee found the slate’s claim of having increased clubs funding false as it actually decreased by more than $5,000. Also, the ERC proclaimed that Unity didn’t “[win] an interest-free period on OSAP for 6 months after graduation,” unlike what was stated on their website.

“Demerits” CONTINUED P3

2

VARSITY NEWS

monday, March 12, 2012

news@thevarsity.ca

CUPE strike prevented, deal ratified Some members remain disappointed with settlement Rida Fatema Ali VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

Members of CUPE 3902 Unit 1 ratified the February 24 agreement with the university Wednesday, preventing a strike of almost 4,200 union members.

Sixty-seven per cent (1197 members) were in favour of the agreement, while 600 voted against. In comparison, CUPE’s last ratification vote in 2009 garnered a 97 per cent voter support.

Despite the ratification, some members’ frustration over the negotiations’ non-transparency continues.

“I’m frustrated because CUPE didn’t contact me at all until after all of the negotiating had been done and they had set a strike date, so I felt really excluded from the entire process,” said member Jon Kearnan Corrigall. “The first contact I got was them telling me that I owed them 10 hours on the picket line.”

Some said that accepting the deal would jeopardize future negotiations.

“I think the agreement is a quick fix that can have really negative long-term consequences,” David Seitz said.

Alivia Dey added that she understood that the economic recession “must be hard on the university”

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

but if the issues aren’t discussed now, will “never become part of the bargaining process in the future.”

The university, on the other hand, was pleased with ratification but acknowledges that it was no walk in the park.

“These negotiations were not

easy and it would be fair to say that there were strongly held views from both sides of the bargaining table,” stated VP of human resources Angela Hildyard. “We believe the outcome, however, is good for the university and its students, and we are very pleased

that members of CUPE 3902 ratified the agreement.”

While the majority of the vote took place on Tuesday and Wednesday, voting began right after a CUPE meeting that took place in Convocation Hall on February 24. The opening of polls in all

three campuses was stalled due to a mandatory seven-day notice requirement.

Some members expressed their frustration at the confusion that this caused since they were unsure if they would be required to vote again.

Stephen Trochimchuk felt that voting right after the meeting was not a good idea due to high emotions.

“Emotions are high; people were really frustrated with how long it was taking. It seemed more appropriate to have some time to leave the meeting, go home, and think about the agreement then vote,” he said.

Under the new settlement, the university will establish a working group to look into ballooning tutorial sizes. In place of the Doctoral Completion Grant, it will also allot $250,000 for unfunded fifthand sixth-year grad students for the next two years. Lastly, U of T will give graduate students two one-time payments totalling $150,000 to compensate for increased workload.

Further details of the deal can be viewed on the union’s website. The deal will last nearly three years and will expire on April 30, 2014.

CUPE officials were reached for comment but had not provided The Varsity with a statement as of press time.

UTSU elections fail to draw voters again More advertisements needed to increase participation, students say Akihiko Tse ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

With voter turnout for this year’s UTSU elections hovering just above the 10 per cent mark for the second year in a row, some students feel improvements should be made to increase universitywide involvement prior to election dates.

Only 4,500 students — 10.5 per cent of UTSU members — cast votes this year, a little over last year’s participation.

According to statistics from the office of chief returning officer Daniel Lo, 2011’s voter turnout was 10 per cent, an eight per cent drop from 2010’s.

“It’s a little bit sad. I think there’s just too much apathy at this school which is a reason why change is so hard here,” said second-year student Anthony Botelho, who placed a vote last week.

Botelho said that with a majority of students commuting to school, student politics is often overlooked and given little attention because some come “just to get their degrees.”

Aishwarya Gathwala, a first-year student living on residence, said that though she voted, she was only informed of candidates’ election platforms by a campaigner she knew as she walked into Sidney Smith Hall.

“Many students like me didn’t know it was going on,” she said.

Second-year Francine Ricknauth, on the other hand, didn’t cast a ballot because she didn’t know enough about the issues.

All three students agreed that increasing advertisements with emails, posters, and lecture announcements would improve voter turnout.

“I don’t think [the advertisements] are enough. Something should be done so that everybody knows this is going on and everybody gets involved,” Gathwala added.

UTSU president Danielle Sandhu said that the Elections and Referenda Committee serves to make polling stations more visible across the St. George campus, but unlike other universities, U of T is at a disadvantage as it doesn’t have a student centre to act as a central student hub.

Sandhu, however, mentioned that voter turnout depends on the amount of work put in by candidates.

“We have seen higher voter turnout when candidates work hard to engage students in their campaigns and in their platforms,” said Sandhu, adding that candidates “need to speak to the different realities of communities at both the St. George and Mississauga campuses and offer relevant platforms.”

Because the university’s administration is responsible for informing members of election dates on

JENNY KIM/THe VArsity

the UTSU’s behalf, Sandhu noted that without having access to its own membership list, students couldn’t be reached as actively and as frequently as they would like.

“More broadly, I think we need to a see a shift in political culture, where all students see themselves as capable of social change, and engage in political issues throughout the entire year, including elec-

tion season,” she said.

Some universities across Canada have reported higher voter turnout figures than U of T’s.

After University of Western Ontario’s (UWO) first election was rendered invalid due to a hacking incident, the Gazette reported a 42 per cent student participation in the repeated election. Voting for UWO’s election occurs online.

The McGill Tribune, meanwhile, wrote that 21 per cent of students had participated in voting for the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU).

This year, University of British Columbia’s student union experienced a 0.6 per cent increase from the 11.6 per cent participation in their 2011 election according to The Ubyssey.

VARSITY NEWS

news@thevarsity.ca “Demerits” CONTINUED From P1 The interest-free period was introduced before the current UTSU executive’s term.

Clara Ho, current UTSU VP university affairs and chair of the ERC, promised Wednesday that a full and impartial review will be granted to all appeals issued against Lo’s rulings.

“I will let the rulings speak for themselves,” said ERC chair Clara Ho before the rulings were released.

Hours later, the Elections and Referenda Appeals Committee (ERAC), the election’s final court of appeal, reversed the decisions and welcomed candidates back into the race. No explanation has been offered for the radically different findings issued by the two committees.

Ho stressed that “different bodies may have different interpretations,” and that time constraints during the election meant that imperfect decisions would sometimes be made.

“I would certainly agree that some rulings could benefit from further investigation,” Ho said. Some cases brought before the CRO have, in fact, remained “under investigation” as late as Sunday.

Cheong, meanwhile, oversaw the hotly contested 2010 elections at York University as chief returning officer.

Following a flood of student complaints, York university administrators initiated a formal investigation into the election.

The final report concluded that the appeals process overseen by Cheong “lacked due process,” and expressed serious concerns over numerous conflicts of interest in the elections process.

Cheong refused to comment on her role in the ERAC this year. Ho, who was responsible for appointing Cheong to the ERAC, said she was “not aware” of Cheong’s previous involvement with the 2010 York election. Ho added that when she contacted the RSU, Cheong was the “only person available.”

During the meeting, ASSU president Katharine Ball was reportedly absent.

“It would have been valuable to have all members present,” Ho said.

In a statement, Ball said she regretted being unable to attend.

“I support the rulings made, although I regret that I could not be there to be the voice of reason that I usually am,” she said.

“The university administration ultimately controls student fees, and they should step in to cut off funds to the UTSU until it institutes significant electoral reform, if they are unwilling to institute reforms on their own.”

—Sam Greene

ERAC members under scrutiny The five ERAC members who ultimately restored candidates to the race have come under close scrutiny by opposition supporters.

This year’s committee included Ho as a non-voting member and chair, Graduate Student Union VP external Daniel Vandervoort, Arts & Science Student Union president Katharine Ball, and Ryerson Student Union (RSU) membership coordinator Casey Chu Cheong.

“We have already begun looking into the backgrounds of the two non-UTSU members of ERAC, and what we’ve found out has been deeply unsettling,” said Jake Brockman, a third-year Trinity College student and member of the Arts & Science Faculty Council.

Daniel Vandervoort allegedly arranged for the billeting of protestors in 2010 during the G20 protests.

Police later raided the GSU building, arresting approximately 70 people, some of whom were allegedly involved in destructive “black bloc” activities.

Call to administration These developments have fueled a chorus of voices on campus who have been outspoken in criticizing the handling of this year’s election.

On Friday, concerned students confirmed that they were investigating how best to formally involve the administration.

Sam Greene, who’s running to be a student head in Trinity College, said the election’s legitimacy has been undermined by “non-transparent, unaccountable processes for enforcing the rules.”

“The university administration ultimately controls student fees, and they should step in to cut off funds to the UTSU until it institutes significant electoral reform, if they are unwilling to institute reforms on their own,” he added.

“They have a responsibility to students just as much as the UTSU does.”

Ho cautiously agreed with the need for reform and retrospection on the election. She sees the need for “structural” changes but was quick to add that the university, and the union itself, could only “truly benefit” if all parties involved were first allowed to “cool off and take a step back.”

monday, March 12, 2012

3

UTSC’s new wireless network falters Evan De Souza VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

The launch of UTSC’s new wireless network was marred by an 18-hour network shutdown February 24.

The new network, aptly named “UofT,” which cost $866,000 and took 18 months to set up, is supposed to give students higher-speed internet, a quota increase from two GB per week to five GB, and greater coverage for 95 per cent of indoor spaces, including residences and heavily-used outdoor areas.

Unlike UTORwin, a browserbased login isn’t required each time an individual connects to UofT. Senior network administrator Glenn Atwood said the shutdown had nothing to do with the new network.

“Obviously a network outage of 18 hours is unacceptable, not acceptable to us and not really acceptable to the student population, staff, and faculty,” he said, adding that the school is already coming up with a plan to ensure this does not happen again.

The severed fibre optics cable that caused UTSC’s wireless network to shut down was deemed an accident. “[There’s] nothing we can do about that, unfortunately. [It] wasn’t a planned outage of any sorts, it was just something that

happened,” Atwood said.

He could not say why the cable was cut but that it occurred four kilometres away from the campus, inside one of the Internet Service Provider’s substations.

According to him, the reason it took 18 hours to resolve the issue was because the school does not have control over the ISP. Cogeco Data Services, the campus’ ISP, had to dispatch a team to locate the break in the very long cable.

“It takes them some time to find out where the [break] is and fix the problem,” Atwood said.

Under the Network Access Redundancy Project, UTSC will partner with another institution to back it up in case of network shutdown. If UTSC’s network is down they will route the traffic over the other institution’s network and vice versa.

“That will provide some much needed resiliency so that we don’t have that long extended outage again,” Atwood said.

Atwood hopes another shutdown won’t occur in the future but says that “you can never tell, because these are unplanned outages.”

Students are encouraged to switch from using UTORwin as, according to UTSC’s website, it’s “slower, less secure and not available at all locations.”

“Results” CONTINUED From P1 Several opposition supporters who contributed to the databank speak optimistically about an outcome similar to York University’s in 2010. When those elections were mishandled, so many students complained that the administration stepped in to compel the union to implement electoral reform.

So far at U of T, however, the administration has been hesitant to involve itself in the affairs of the student union.

Meanwhile, for the candidates, the end of a grueling election season comes as a relief. The former three presidential hopefuls, Shaun Shepherd, Brent Schmidt, and Rohail Tanoli, have plans to meet up this week for a friendly round of drinks — for them, perhaps an opportunity for a final denouement to the drama of the campaign trail.

=

DO YOU HAVE ANOREXIA NERVOSA ?

RESEARCH PARTICIPANTS NEEDED FOR A TREATMENT STUDY Investigators at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) are looking for participants for a treatment study in Anorexia Nervosa

Eligible participants must be: Between 18 and 55 years of age Currently have anorexia nervosa Have a body mass index (BMI) between 14 and 18.5 Willing to consider taking medication Small compensation provided If you are interested in obtaining more information, please call (416) 535-8501 x 3877 or email beheshta_jaghori@camh.net

4

VARSITY NEWS

monday, March 12, 2012

news@thevarsity.ca

JESSIE LAU/THe VArsity

Redefining sustainable development Inaugural student conference addresses eco-issues in Asia Irina Vukosavic VARSITY STAFF

Students gathered at Hart House last Friday to Sunday for the first annual INDePth Conference for Sustainable Development. The PanAsia Student Society and the Asian Institute hosted the three-day student-run event this year, focusing on Indonesia.

Event co-chair Mimi Liu said the event was an effort to bring together students from diverse backgrounds so they could form important networks.

“Students will be able to engage intensively in workshops to understand the ways in which economic and social developments work in the regional context,” Liu said.

The event received great feedback from U of T students in attendance.

“I like how it’s workshop oriented and participant driven so that we get a chance to interact with others,” said Kim Kinnear, an international relations and political science major at U of T. Participants from other universities, such as the University of Alberta, University of British

Columbia, University of Ottawa, and Ryerson University, attended the event as well.

“I actually learned a lot and this event definitely broadened the scope of possibilities on development,” said Ryerson public affairs and policy management student Olivia Tran. “I think that it’s important to get out there and meet different people. It’s not all about getting good marks in school.”

More than three keynote speakers were present on the first day of the event, while the following two days were filled with workshopintensive debate.

The speakers came from diverse academic backgrounds and spoke about different perspectives on integrating the global south.

Biotechnology specialist Dr. Rahim Rezaie, a post-doctoral fellow at the Munk School of Global Affairs, shed light on the biopharmaceutical industry in India and China.

The second speaker, Dr. Vijaya Sripati, illustrated the problems with the UN model of helping developing countries build their own constitutions.

“If you take a look at all the newest constitu-

“If you take a look at all the newest constitutions made, they are all the same throughout. The UN needs to rethink its strategy because not all countries are the same and therefore they need different solutions.”

tions made, they are all the same throughout,” argued Sripati, an Osgoode Hall law school PhD candidate specializing in international law and constitutionalism. “The UN needs to rethink its strategy because not all countries are the same and therefore they need different solutions.”

International relations and higher education expert Dr. Lorna Jean Edmonds ended the discussion by highlighting key problems in Canada’s current model of helping third-world countries experiencing war. She stressed that Canadians need to think inside the box when it comes to deciding what is best for them.

This way, she said, they will be able to develop an empathetic understanding of what they are going through. Edmonds also stressed the importance of interdisciplinary networking.

“The power of globalization rests with all of you; that’s why it’s important to think about that possibility — because it is there,” Edmonds remarked.

The Pan-Asia Student Society, formerly known as the Asia Pacific Club, hopes to make this conference a yearly event.

U of T loses foreign policy face-off University’s debaters commended for their delivery Semra Eylul Sevi VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

Ryerson won against U of T in an inaugural foreign policy student debate held at Ryerson University Thursday.

Hosted by the Canadian International Council Toronto, the debate was about the decline of Canada’s influencing role in the world.

Ryerson’s Jake Brunt and Macey Cohen argued in favour of the resolution, while U of T’s Sam Greene and Jake Brockman opposed.

The judges, faculty members Arne Kislenko, Linda Goldthorp, and Robert Teigrob, declared Ryerson the winner, despite being impressed by both sides. All three judges are renowned scholars of international relations.

“We loved U of T’s delivery and we acknowledge that they were faced with the more challenging side,” Goldthorp said. “That said, we ultimately voted with the house [those arguing in favour of the resolution] as Ryerson too had a fine delivery and they were very effective in defining

strong measurable influence.”

Brunt argued that there exists a disconnect between Canada’s rhetoric and action.

“Canada has the potential to be a key player in the world, but it’s all based on speculations,” he said.

Cohen added that the country used to be at the heart of important organizations like the International Monetary Fund and the United Nations, until its influence gradually declined in the 1990s.

As evidence, she pointed to Cana-

da’s lost bid to occupy a UN Security Council to Portugal and Prime Minister Stephen Harper walking away from the Kyoto Protocol.

On the other hand, Greene said that Canadian ideas are shaping the world.

In support of Greene’s claim, Brockman listed events when foreign countries looked up to Canada, for example.

“Canada has a powerful constitution that is shaping other countries’ constitutions,” he said, citing Israel’s basic laws and the Arab Spring when countries followed Canada’s lead.

The speaker of the house, Jo-Ann Davis, moderated the debate’s question and answer portion.

The house overwhelmingly voted in favour of the resolution, as they felt Canada’s global influence through documents such as its constitution was actually negligible.

Next year’s debate will be held at Hart House and will once again be between U of T and Ryerson.

Semra Eylul Sevi is a former Hart House debater.

VARSITY NEWS

news@thevarsity.ca

monday, March 12, 2012

Student governors’ U of T grievances go unheard crime stats

Past governors take issue with eight-member vote and one-year terms Zane Schwartz VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

With this year’s Governing Council election coming to a close, past student governors are questioning the impact of student votes in the council.

Having eight students out of a 50-member council makes it difficult to effect major change on any front, said James Park, speaking from first-hand experience on the council in 2010–11.

“Sometimes we would get a few of the alumni or administrative staff governors supporting us, but in the end the votes were never close,” he added.

According to Park, a weak electoral mandate and pervasive apathy towards which students sit on the council, or what they do, can also be an issue.

Last year, only 7.6 per cent of students voted in the full-time undergraduate constituency, while 5 per cent voted for the part-time undergrads.

Appointed student governors who few people voted for have a difficult time claiming a mandate for change, Park said.

This year, three student governors will be acclaimed to their positions, running unopposed in their constituencies.

Past student governor Margaret Kim also pointed out that one year in office is a “very short period of time.”

“By the time new student governors learn about the protocol, half of the year is gone,” Kim said.

External appointees to the Governing Council serve for three-year terms, while staff and alumni often serve for successive one-year terms.

Spending many years on the council, these

“I think that student governors have a great voice,” Nunn said.

“It’s a question of how you use that voice effectively and understanding the context of the things you can change.”

governors are generally more familiar with policies and governance, explained Kim. Richard Nunn, for instance, was first appointed to Governing Council in 2004. He serves today as the council’s chair.

“I think that student governors have a great voice,” Nunn said. “It’s a question of how you use that voice effectively and understanding the context of the things you can change.”

Nunn pointed to the most recent Governing Council meeting, where student governors’ lobbying about U of T’s new copyright agreement won it a space on the agenda for discussion. This, to Nunn, is an example of studentled change.

Although the copyright agreement eventually passed despite student opposition, Nunn said this is an example of the contributions student governors make on a regular basis: raising new issues, highlighting things that are of concern to students, even if they are not always successful when it comes to votes.

Student victories on council, however, have not always been so modest.

In 2007, a proposal to build a Student Commons that would revitalize campus life was championed by student governor Estefina Toledo. The proposal received overwhelming support from the council.

This success took years to cultivate, however, and relied on the vocal support of not only students but also ranking members of the administration.

Five years on, a generation of undergraduate students has passed through U of T, and ground has yet to be broken for the construction the Stdent Commons.

As Chair Nunn puts it: “Change takes time and large change takes an incredibly long time.”

International students favour Ontario’s post-secondary school system over other provinces, according to Statistics Canada’s 2011 census results.

Since 2007, there has been a 26.5 per cent increase of foreign student permits in Canada.

Ontario has seen a 48 per cent growth in student permits since 2007. This is 15 per cent higher than British Columbia, the province with the second largest amount of foreign students.

In recent years, provinces such as Nova Scotia and British Columbia have also intensified their international recruitment efforts.

—Gabriella Lambert With files from StatsCan.

Dalhousie faculty strike looming Eighty-three per cent of Dalhousie’s faculty association voted in favour of a strike Thursday.

Over 800 professors and support staff at Dalhousie will walk off the job if a deal isn’t reached by Monday.

The university’s pension plan is the chief source of disagreement in this round of bargaining. University officials want to make Dalhousie faculty partly responsible for budget shortfalls.

The university’s pension fund faces a shortfall estimated at $40–50 million per year.

Hoping to avert the strike, Nova Scotia’s cabinet is temporarily waiving pension plan solvency regulations for the province’s universities, saving administrators from cutting funding or pensions.

—Aberdeen Berry With files from The Chronicle Herald and Maclean’s.

Tuition continues to rise, but new grants stay

Concordia review million-dollar severance pays

The Ontario Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities announced Thursday that tuition fees will rise by five per cent for university and college students this September.

Set to expire this year, the cap on tuition increases will be raised by the provincial government. The cap has been in place since 2006.

However, despite the recommendation to eliminate the new tuition grants launched in January, the province will continue to provide credits of $1600 and $730 to university and college students respectively in the fall.

—Kimberly Shek

During a Quebec-wide postsecondary school boycott Monday, The Gazette reported on Concordia University’s review of money paid to senior employees who recently left their jobs.

An email to the university obtained by The Gazette revealed that five administrators who left around September 2009 to December 2010 were paid $2.4 million in severance.

Former president Judith Woodsworth was also paid $703,500 in severance while her predecessor Claude Lajeunesse received $1 million.

Concordia is planning to bring in an outside team to reassess the termination process of senior officials.

—Sarah Taguiam

With files from Maclean’s.

1

video game stolen and vehicle damaged

1

person issued a provincial offences ticket for trespassing

2

laptops, wallets, and bags stolen each

5

disputes between two people reported

News in brief Ontario home to most of Canada’s international students

March 1–8

With files from Maclean’s and The Gazette.

6

fire alarms rung

7

code blue emergencies called in

16

trespassing incidents

35

security calls made

5

Comment

12 MARCH 2012 comment@thevarsity.ca

Failure to launch

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

With the 2012 UTSU election over, catch up on some U of T electoral history. http://var.st/8ku

The solution to Ontario’s problems isn’t online education

Joshua Oliver VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

Considering the major financial pressure on the provincial government, it’s no surprise that they’re interested in a recent report suggesting that the majority of undergraduate courses could be taught online.

While cost cutting may be a necessity, the move to online learning is absolutely the wrong approach to education reform.

The first objective of reform should be to improve the quality of post-secondary education here in Ontario. In an economy where having an undergraduate education is increasingly expected, and where creativity and critical thinking are more valued than ever, an excellent post-secondary system is key to future economic growth.

As most politicians will acknowledge, having a highly-trained work force will allow Ontario to remain competitive and, in the long term, will ease the financial pinch on the government. Sabotaging the quality of education in the interest of short-term savings will only exacerbate the province’s economic difficulties.

Very little research exists on the value of online education. Leaving aside the fact that implementing a largely untested system on a massive scale tends not to work well, much of the research that has been done suggests that online learning cannot deliver the same

quality of education. Most students know from experience that it is incredibly difficult to focus when working online. Neurological research suggests that accessing content through a computer encourages skimming, while discussion and face-to-face interaction promote deeper understanding. If university is not about deeper understanding, then why are any of us here?

The answer may be that an undergraduate degree is increasingly becoming a rubber stamp, which parents and students regard as necessary. Our universities are being debased so that the largest number of students can get degrees, with little concern for the quality of the education. Online learning encourages students not to think critically or engage with the subject, but to meet the requirements as quickly and easily as possible. This is a problem since it’s very difficult to ensure that students in online courses are academically honest.

Most research to date which supports online learning will claim that students “perform better” in online classes. These studies assess performance using test scores, and while online courses may be good at helping students absorb information in the short term and regurgitate it on a test, this is not the same as good teaching. Live streaming of a lecture or participating in an online conference in place of a tutorial don’t compare with face-to-face interaction. After all,

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

few would argue that a Skype conversation is as good as meeting in person.

If research suggests that online education will do anything but improve the education we receive, the appeal of online learning can only be financial. Since savings are not being passed on to students, we are right to be suspicious that online learning is an attempt to save money at the expense of our education.

We should also consider that both the government and the university have a record of producing websites that are antiquated, confusing, and inefficient. Trying to run online classes through a system as cumbersome as ROSI or Blackboard would be a catastrophic failure. For online learning to work, the government would have to invest a lot of money and expertise in creating a viable online platform and then training the faculty and students of every university to use it. The report predicts savings, of 3 per cent each year from introducing online learning. Taking into account the high setup costs and modest savings it’s doubtful that online leaning will be

worthwhile, even from a purely financial perspective.

The province should remember that the best students and professors can choose where they study and teach. If Ontario only offers low-quality online programs, we will not attract students from out-of-province, and our top students and professors will go elsewhere. This will sabotage our higher education system, leaving Ontario with worse professors and less able students overall. It will also significantly disadvantage Ontario students without the financial means to study outside the province, forcing them to accept an inferior education for financial reasons.

Universities should be places where the brightest young people come to learn from one another, and to be inspired by some of the world’s leading minds. They should not be factories for turning out graduates with devalued degrees. Education reform may be necessary, but online learning is not the reform we need because it undermines what university education should be about — good teaching.

A brewing revolution Why home distilling should be legalized in Ontario

David Woolley VARSITY STAFF

New brands of alcohol are springing up across the world, bringing traditional spirits to unlikely places. High-quality whiskeys are coming out of Asia and Scandinavia, while the traditional Poland versus Russia wodka/vodka war has spurred on production of the old Soviet staple in the rest of Europe and North America.

The entrance of Mackmyra Whisky from Sweden and Amrut from India onto the scene mirrors the early growth of microbreweries across North America. Established names like Mill Street and Steam Whistle both began in the early 2000s as relatively small facilities.

Now they are staples for any beer drinker in Ontario. Microbreweries — attempting to challenge the dominance of name brands such as Molson and Labatt — found their success by making unorthodox choices in their production and by creating more varied and flavourful beers, thus appealing to the experimental side of Canadians who were not content with the bland taste of your average beer.

Microbreweries also appealed to the localist thinking of Canadians who had already begun a transition to the slow foods movement for the rest of their palate, pushing for quality

meat, dairy and produce from local producers.

Ultimately, microbreweries would not have succeeded if they had not been making quality products. One of the reasons they were able to do so was that the homebrewing of beer for personal consumption is legal without a permit in North America.

Would-be brewmasters were able to experiment with all aspects of the brewing process in their own homes without having to shell out large amounts of money for government licences. They were able to find their own unique flavours and processes before transitioning to selling the product on the market.

Unfortunately, this is not the case for spirits. While making beer and wine in your house is legal without a permit, it is illegal in Ontario to distill alcohol. This is a problem not only for Ontario distillers but for all consumers of alcohol. Without the freedom to experiment in the comfort and safety of one’s home, it

is almost impossible to break into the market with new products. The newest brand of distilled alcohol in Canada is Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head vodka — a quality spirit to be sure — but most alcohol artisans do not have the net worth of Ghostbusters to fund their foray into distilling. Instead, consumers are trapped with corporate name brands that offer little difference in quality or taste and no experimentation.

If homebrewing and wine-making are legal, then why is there not a push to make home distilling legal as well?

The primary reason is that many people are scared of home. Much of the anti-home distilling sentiment comes from skewed perceptions of prohibition-era bootleggers working with exploding stills in their basements. These gangsters provided low quality booze to unsuspecting consumers, which resulted in poisoning and blindness.

However, the historic link between bathtub

Much of the antihome distilling sentiment comes from skewed perceptions of prohibition-era bootleggers working with exploding stills in their basements.

gin and blindness was not the result of home distilling, but rather of overt government action. In an attempt to discourage gangsters from stealing and reselling industrial alcohol, the US government required that all industrial alcohol be poisoned with methanol.

Because mobsters used this in their product and were not particularly concerned with the quality, they took half measures to ensure the methanol was removed. Since it often was not, consumption resulted in blindness and death. This link worked its way into the collective consciousness of post-prohibition North America and has effectively damaged the image of home distilling.

In reality, if home distilling were legal, such risks would be minimal. Like homebrewing and wine-making, selling the product would be prohibited without a license, limiting tasting and consumption to the distiller until they could pass the stringent health and safety controls required to sell their product.

If we want to expand the realm of local artisan production from beer, wine, and food to all aspects of our diet, then the best way to move forward is to legalize home distilling and allow the creative energies of small producers to free us from the limitations of corporate name brands.

VARSITY COMMENT

comment@thevarsity.ca

monday, March 12, 2012

Paranoid fantasies

Write for Comment email us at comment@thevarsity.ca

Alex Ross critiques conspiracy theories

I

n a small, dark room, a mysterious, shadowy elite gathers to decide the fate of the world. This elite has been plotting for centuries and has had membership in all of the world’s most powerful organizations, such as the Knights Templar, the Rosicrucians, the Freemasons, the Illuminati, Opus Dei, the Bilderberg Group, the Council of Foreign Relations, the World Trade Organization, and even the United Nations. They have caused wars, revolutions, diseases, general social upheaval, and even natural disasters, all for the purpose of creating a New World Order. This New World Order will have a single world government, a single currency, horde all of the world’s wealth and resources, stamp out constitutional rights and individual freedoms, and keep us all as brainwashed slaves on a dark, depressing prison planet. At least that’s what a conspiracy theorist would have you believe.

This lurid description captures the underlying beliefs of most conspiracy theorists. The names and organizations might change, but the goal — total world domination — and those plotting it — an evil shadowy elite — always remain the same. National Post editor and columnist Jonathan Kay identifies five key elements of conspiracy theories in his excellent survey of the contemporary conspiracist underground, Among the Truthers. These elements are 1) singularity, a single power that controls the events of history; 2) boundless evil; 3) incumbency; 4) greed; and 5) hypercompetence, the ability to manipulate people and events at will. Kay’s book mostly focuses on the 9/11 Truther movement, but also shows how these five elements continually show up in speculations about US president Barack Obama’s country of birth, the JFK assassination, and even alternative medicinal practices.

Conspiracy theories have a long history, tracing their way back to the French Revolution. In 1803, Abbe Barruel’s Memoirs, Illustrating the History of Jacobinism blamed the Illuminati, an organization founded in 1776 by Bavarian law professor Adam Weishaupt, for starting the revolution. Since then, many of the world’s great wars and disasters have been laid at their feet. However, the actual history of the Illuminati is much quieter. The Illuminati was a social libertarian organization dedicated to freeing its members from political and religious oppression. The organization was eventually dissolved in 1787. However, it keeps on being resurrected and blamed for the world’s problems. Even Dan Brown couldn’t resist including them in his terrible novel, Angels and Demons.

While it can be easy to laugh off conspiracy theories about Freemasons building a secret entrance for lizard people at the Denver airport, the consequences of intense conspiracism are not so funny. One of the most successful conspiracy theories of all time was the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a terrible anti-Semitic forgery produced in the early 20th century that supposedly detailed a Jewish plot to dominate the world. This document contributed to the strengthening of anti-Semitism in North America and Europe and has sadly gone on to become the blueprint for most contemporary conspiracy theories, even if these theories are not themselves anti-Semitic. Timothy McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber,

was a conspiracy theorist who believed blowing up the Alfred P. Murrah building would be the first strike against the New World Order.

Jonathan Kay identifies a much greater threat. He argues a “cognitive rift” is developing between those who are conspiracists and those who are not, and this is unhealthy for a democracy that requires some level of trust from its citizens. Conspiracists only surf websites or read books that confirm their strongly-held beliefs. As Kay documents extensively, conspiracists who are challenged on their beliefs will just include your challenges as a part of the conspir-

acy. Why are conspiracy beliefs so pathological? Political scientist Michael Barkun argues that conspiracy theorists use “stigmatized knowledge claims” which are essentially claims that are marginalized by traditional knowledge establishments such as educational institutions and the media. The conspiracist’s marginalization only strengthens his or her belief that he or she has found the truth.

So how do you protect yourself from conspiracy theories? Some education in practical reasoning Continued ON P8 JENNY KIM/THe VArsity

13565 Fashion Mgmt & Promotions - Campus Plus 1/30/12 4:13 PM Page 1

8 launch ways to

YOUR CAREER

FASHION MANAGEMENT & PROMOTIONS POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICATE

From retail management to logistics: this program offers the unique skills you will need to launch your career as a: • • • .

Event Manager Logistics Coordinator Product Development Manager Visual Merchandiser

POSTGRADUATE CERTIFICATES IN: Event Management Financial Planning Global Business Management Human Resources Management International Development International Marketing Marketing Management

WORKS.

Public Administration

business.humber.ca

business.humber.ca

7

8

VARSITY COMMENT

monday, March 12, 2012

THE Varsity VARSIT HE

Y

T

VOL. CXXXII No. 21

Reflection on the election The UTSU 2012 election featured too much mudslinging and not enough substance Abdullah Shihipar VARSITY STAFF

TH

ES

TUDE

AP NT NEWSP

ER

21 Sussex Avenue, Suite 306 Toronto, ON, M5S 1J6 Phone: 416-946-7600 Fax: 416-946-7606 www.thevarsity.ca

Editorial Board Editor-in-Chief Tom Cardoso

editor@thevarsity.ca design@thevarsity.ca matthew@thevarsity.ca mushfiq@thevarsity.ca

Design Editors Matthew D.H. Gray Mushfiq Ul Huq Photo Editor Bernarda Gospic

photo@thevarsity.ca

Online Editor Sam Bowman

online@thevarsity.ca

Senior Copy Editor Maayan Adar

copy@thevarsity.ca

News Editor Sarah Taguiam

news@thevarsity.ca

Comment Editor Alex Ross

comment@thevarsity.ca

Features Editor Erene Stergiopoulos

features@thevarsity.ca

Arts & Culture Editor Ariel Lewis

arts@thevarsity.ca

Science Editor Bianca Lemus Lavarreda science@thevarsity.ca Sports Editor Murad Hemmadi

sports@thevarsity.ca

Illustrations Editor Jenny Kim illustrations@thevarsity.ca Video Editor Wyatt Clough

video@thevarsity.ca

Associate Design Editors Suzy Nevins Dan Seljak Associate Photo Editor Vacant Associate Online Editors Mimoza Haque Patrick Love

A few weeks ago, I wrote an article for The Varsity entitled “The dysfunctions of student politics,” in which I called for peace and civility during this election season. After going through my first UTSU election campaign, I can now attest to the fact that I was being naive.

Instead of a peaceful campaign based on substance, I was met with a nasty campaign fought over frivolous issues.

Democracy has always been tainted at U of T, with previous elections being marred by allegations of CRO misconduct and CFS interference. That’s why, this year, I was hopeful for an opposition that could take on the CFS status quo, whilst continuing to build on the work of and totally obscured their other the incumbents and make U of T a talking points. This, if anything, better place. I looked for answers was a superficial attempt at buildon how to build community and ing community on a campus that spirit, how to boost attendance at boasts more than 30,000 students. our football games, how to ensure StudentsFirst candidates often that all members of the commu- point to other universities as exnity are treated with equity and amples when making their case for respect, among other things. the bar. But the problem is that we Instead, I was greeted with a aren’t like other universities. We’re gimmick: “build the bar.” While a commuter school, we’re in downit is true that this was not the only town Toronto, and we’re surroundthing StudentsFirst campaigned ed by inexpensive bars on both 13574 Pathway Ad 4x7.5 2/3/12 3:25 PM Page 1 on, it was central to their platform, Bloor and College. We need sub-

Associate Copy Editor Jasmine Pauk Associate News Editors Simon Bredin Sunnie Huang Dalana Parris Akihiko Tse

BUSINESS DEGREES

Associate Comment Editor Davin Leivonen Fok Associate Features Editor Simon Frank Associate A&C Editors Assunta Alegiani Brigit Katz

$2,500

Associate Science Editors Ken Euler Yasmin Sattarzadeh Associate Sports Editor Zoë Bedard

Contributors Mayce Al-Sukhni, Aberdeen Berry, Monica Carinci, Evan De Souza, Andreea DinulescuLorentz, Alainna Jamal, Maggie Keenan, Damanjit Lamba, Gabriella Lambert, Cristina Olteanu, Zane Schwartz, Semra Eylul Sevi, Monica Slovak Copy Editors Elizabeth Benn Emily Dunbar Alexa Fraczak Nikita Gill Tina Hui Laura Mitchell Amina Mohamed Joshua Oliver Benjamin Pan Yi Qing Sim Thuy Truong Meraj Zafar Fact Checkers Elizabeth Benn Laura Mitchell Joshua Oliver Benjamin Pan

Business Office Business Manager Arlene Lu

FIND YOUR

PATHWAY

TURN YOUR DIPLOMA INTO A DEGREE.

Designers Yasi Eftekhari Matthew D.H. Gray Suzy Nevins Mushfiq Ul Huq Dan Seljak Nathan Watson Michelle Yuan Photo and Illustration Bernarda Gospic Wendy Gu Jenny Kim Jessie Lau Rob Leone Janine Riviere Dan Seljak Michelle Yuan

business@thevarsity.ca

Advertising Executives ads@thevarsity.ca Jamie C. Liu jamie@thevarsity.ca Kalam Poon kalam@thevarsity.ca ivana@thevarsity.ca Ivana Strajin The Varsity is the University of Toronto's largest student newspaper, publishing since 1880. The Varsity has a circulation of 20,000, and is published by Varsity Publications, Inc., a not-for-profit corporation. It is printed by Master Web Inc. on recycled newsprint stock.

Content © 2012 by The Varsity. All rights reserved. Any editorial inquiries and/or letters should be directed to the sections associated with them; emails listed above.

The Varsity reserves the right to edit all submissions.

Inquiries regarding ad sales can be made to ads@thevarsity.ca. ISSN: 0042-2789 Please recycle this issue after you are finished with it.

comment@thevarsity.ca

Turn your diploma into a degree through Humber's pathways.

Apply for advanced standing by transferring your college credits into almost all of our degree programs. Those who qualify will also receive a one-time scholarship of $2,500, the only one of its kind in Canada.

business.humber.ca/pathways

Schmidt insisted that Shaun Shepherd issue an apology to his friend who was harassed on Twitter. When it came to taking responsibility for supporters’ erratic behaviour during the debate, however, StudentsFirst was slow to respond and claimed that the campaign had nothing to do with their supporters’ actions. A fair point, but why was Shepherd made to apologize for something he had no control over?

This toxic atmosphere made it into the debate, with signs being held up, students being shouted down, and racial epithets being uttered. Among other occurrences, a candidate for the Unity slate was told she was oppressed and ASSU presiBernarda Gospic/THe VArsity dent Katharine Ball was told to “have a drink” when she stantial ideas catering to the needs brought up equity issues reof the students on our campus. garding the bar.

StudentsFirst also ran a lacklusOne of the reasons for this is tre campaign. Critics argue that SF that at the outset, a few individucannot be compared to Unity since als decided to utilize RepublicanUnity has the support of the CFS style “swift boat” tactics and enelite. While somewhat true (as far gage in a smear campaign against as volunteers are concerned), Stu- Shaun Shepherd, accusing him dentsFirst’s campaign was slow to of dirty tricks and demanding he get off the ground with a sparse apologize for tweets he was merely website, a platform that didn’t tagged in. Such negative tactics materialize until days into the seem not to come out of a genucampaign period, and posters that ine desire for positive change but didn’t showcase their executive rather an intense dislike for the candidates and platform points, incumbency. but instead had slogans about the Finally, the UTSU CRO was campus bar. While many Unity also quite disappointing. Demerit board of directors candidates ap- points were handed out more liberproached me in the week leading ally to StudentsFirst than to Unity up to voting day, StudentsFirst’s and this makes a farce of our decandidates were mostly invis- mocracy. A CRO should be imparible. It’s hard to believe that they tial and respond to complaints couldn’t have at least found some based on merit, not on which slate volunteers to get their message out committed the offense. across campus, like the Change That being said, I found most slate did in 2010. There is no ex- of the individuals on the slates to cuse for a poorly managed cam- be decent people. It’s just the cirpaign, and students would be right cumstances surrounding the electo question whether those running tions I found to be disheartening. one would be ready to handle the Maybe one day we U of T students responsibilities of a student union. will unite and build campus spirit, In fact, most of the election’s and perhaps we’ll sing John Lennegativity finds its origins in non songs around a campfire. I’m StudentsFirst supporters. Brent not holding my breath.

Continued FROM P7 would be a great help as this would enable you to detect fallacies and assess the strength of arguments.

For example, all conspiracy theories commit two common fallacies.

The first is confirmation bias. Conspiracists conclude that the official story about 9/11 cannot be correct and then proceed to find only those pieces of evidence that support their conclusion, ignoring the overwhelming amount of evidence that demonstrates that they’re wrong. The other common mistake in reasoning is the post hoc fallacy. This fallacy is named after the Latin phrase “post hoc ergo propter hoc” — after this, therefore because of this. A 9/11 Truther will point to the recent invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq as proof that the US government must have blown up the World Trade Center even though 15 of the 19 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia.

Reading books about the nature of conspiracist thought — how it develops, its basic structure, its long,

disturbing history — will provide further defenses against conspiracist thinking. My personal favourite is Michael Barkun’s A Culture of Conspiracy. This academic study of American conspiracy theories not only provides an excellent overview of the structure of conspiracist thought but also delves into the history and origin of every modern conspiracy theory. Jonathan Kay’s Among the Truthers is also an excellent resource for understanding today’s conspiracy movements and has some interesting suggestions about how we could fight conspiracism. Another good book is Jason Colavito’s The Cult of Alien Gods, which convincingly demonstrates how horror author H.P. Lovecraft inadvertently influenced contemporary UFO pop culture (and proceeds to debunk numerous claims made by alternative archaeologists and ancient alien theorists). Conveniently, all of these books can be found at Robarts.

So remember, dear readers, the truth is out there. But it doesn’t involve aliens, government agents, evil geniuses, chem-trails, or secret societies. Sorry to disappoint you.

Features

var.st/FEATURES

From the Archives

The other dating game

12 MARCH 2012

3 Couples, 3 Dates

features@thevarsity.ca

http://var.st/7-2

Field notes from the depths of dating hell

I

t’s 1:30 in the morning, I can’t sleep: yet another of the countless nights lost because my body is jumpy and tense. Why? Because of a guy (insert exasperated sigh that’s not due to sexual exhilaration). I’m tired of being abandoned, broken, or used for sex, and it’s not easy navigating the mess that has become our 21st century dating world.

No amount of relationship advice from girlfriends, guyfriends, or Steve Harvey dating books will teach someone how to do this the right way until they look into the psychoanalytic mirror and realize why they keep sabotaging potential friendships or relationships.

I think the number one mistake I make is that I care too much. I fall too quickly because I’m forcing the wrong person into the wrong mould in my mind, and the problems arise from there. Accept who “Mr. Right” is. Then accept who “Mr. Right now” is. Talking and flirting with a couple of men at a time doesn’t make you a whore, slut, or bitch as long as you pair everything with class and remember who’s most important in all of this: you. Just like everything in life, it takes practice. We all wish it would come out right the first time, but then how would we grow?

Taking dirty pics and texting all day long — not always a good idea. Thinking you have the upper hand because you flirt and tease? That’s actually making you lose power. It isn’t always a powerplay once the relationship develops into something more, but it definitely is about power at the beginning. You have to establish how you want to be treated right from the start. If you let your dog pee on your bed, he will keep peeing on your bed (note: men are not dogs… mostly).

I’ve decided to create some rules for myself so that I don’t get lost along the path of sexting for attention only to feel guilty and confused afterward. One of my many mistakes was that I didn’t know what I wanted when I got myself involved. I didn’t know if I was down for casual sex or if I wanted to get myself into another relationship. After hearing my girlfriends complain about their boyfriends, I think I’m happy to be single, but I’m still battling the loneliness and the need to cuddle at odd hours of the night. I’d buy a cat, but they’re not allowed in my building and they could never be the big spoon.

Another mistake is that I let guys know from the beginning that I think I’m different, smart (maybe), witty (yeah), a woman who really does understand men (meh), how to manipulate them (a little), and I usually just tell them directly, “I could make you fall in love with me if I wanted to, but that wouldn’t be much fun” (back away slowly, boys — she’s not okay). Don’t tell them, just show them!

It’s at this point that I really wish there were tutorials on YouTube that would not only teach you how to do Marilyn Monroe’s cat eye makeup, but also how to text with the same elegance and sensuality that she might have had. Based on that, I realized that I don’t need to text all day long, be perfect, flirty and entertaining.

You may have great chemistry with a guy, but through texting, you can ruin everything in one sentence or, perhaps, nervously over-text and observe a clean-cut vanishing act.

Here comes another factor — one of the most important: your confidence. Sometimes I’m on target, sometimes I come off as having low self-esteem, and sometimes I seem like I have too much. I’m still working on perfecting this one, but I’d say rate yourself on a confident to non-confident scale, and try to become as close to the middle as you can. I had a hard time getting over my ex, not because I was so deeply in love with him, but because I idealized his strengths and resented myself for lacking them. He’d keep school, family, and friends as his priorities and would do things for all of them. Now that I look back, he wasn’t exactly selfish, but he didn’t treat me right, so let’s stop ruminating. Moving on!

Oh yeah, get over your ex completely before you start dating again. Sure, he was a big part of your life, and he might still live in your basement smoking that poor quality weed and stinking up your house. But how do I know this, think it’s simple, and yet I still blabber on about him as if it were okay? Sometimes I’ve lied and said that he was just a friend so that I wouldn’t feel guilty talking about him. I forgive myself for being that silly, but I don’t want to put someone through listening to that and waste their time — and neither should you.

I used to tell myself, “no one really gets over their first love,” and I kept holding myself back from full recov-

After hearing my girlfriends complain about their boyfriends, I think I’m happy to be single, but I’m still battling the loneliness and the need to cuddle at odd hours of the night. I’d buy a cat, but they’re not allowed in my building and they could never be the big spoon.

ery. If he wasn’t a good boyfriend, why would he be a good friend afterward? Just cut it.

Next: date and talk to several guys at a time. When one disappoints you, the other might not and when you realize who you like more, there you go. Men have been doing this since the beginning of time, so why the hell can’t we? In the dating realm, just remember to be smooth. People who put their relationships ahead of their friendships, ditching friends for a make-out session? Not cool. Fighting on the phone in front of them? Not polite. Save the drama for Jersey Shore. The only drama should be when you’re in a committed relationship and you do things to purposely piss off your significant other so that you can have angry sex. Do it the right way, people! The better the friendship, the better the relationship, the better the sex (if that’s whats important to you). The longer you wait to get to know each other, the easier everything becomes but it’s a long and steady path that you can’t skip through. Have hope.

I’ve considered getting my uterus removed in order to avoid dealing with the idea of being responsible for a child’s life, messing it up with the divorce from my idiot husband, and withering away in deathly suburbia. I’ve considered becoming “an artist,” or buying lots of cats, or being on high doses of anti-depressants so that my libido subsides. But I’ve realized that I have a lot of love to give, and I want someone to love me — that’s what I’ve figured out after many failed dates and a 5-year-long relationship. The dates are actually fun. It’s what happens afterward — usually through texts and ambiguous sexual puns — that ruins things.

Last but not least, I’d say to not be afraid of making the first move! What are you afraid of? A “no”? I ask for guys’ numbers, I ask them out on dates. It’s fun, empowering, and sometimes shows them you’re special. I was dancing with some guy at Sneaky Dee’s (hip-hop night, of course) and when he asked for my number, I eventually gave in and put in “I will not have sex with you.” I was pretty tipsy, but I was also tired of men in general. You know what? It made him even more interested and also made him realize that I’m not your ordinary woman. Later on, he asked me out! (Personally, I usually prefer more of a pursuit, but this was nice.)

Don’t be afraid to hand someone your number or flirt a little with the guy next to you in class. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and if you mess up, embarrass yourself, or come off as a crazy cat lady, follow the advice of Jay-Z in “On to the Next One.” I’m not using men and spitting them out, I’m just living my life and opening up to new people on a daily basis so that I can grow. I’ve got me a date on Friday. I’ll keep you updated!

by Andreea Dinulescu-Lorentz illustrations by Dan Seljak

Arts & Culture

var.st/ARTS

12 MARCH 2012

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

Piercing humour in Victoria College Drama Society’s A Ladylike Murder

arts@thevarsity.ca

Read our review at http://var.st/ae8

Payback

an interview with Margaret Atwood and Jennifer Baichwal p12

MICHELLE YUAN/THe VArsity

$10 RESTAURATEUR with Laura Kathleen Maize Lalibela

869 Bloor Street West

EVENT GUIDE

MAR 12–18

I’ve got to admit — I’m pretty sick of the whole comfort food trend. If I had it my way, poutine would have stayed in Quebec (and not become gourmet, with pulled pork or head cheese); Taco Bell would be illegal (except for maybe an occasional cheesy beefy Frito burrito); and Paula Deen — well, Paula Deen just wouldn’t exist (seriously, the whole bacon, doughnut, fried-egg burger thing is a crime against nature). Eating for comfort, though? That’s something that will never let up, and I want you to know that there are options out there other than the artery-clogging, food coma–inducing meals.

Lalibela serves up Ethiopian food a block away from Bloor and Ossington. There are several Ethiopian restaurants in the neigbourhood, and I’ve eaten at them all; Lalibela wins, hands down, over the rest.

It’s not the cheapest (that prize goes to Nazareth, at Dovercourt), but it’s the freshest, the friendliest, and the best.

I’d suggest getting one of the platters; especially

MONDAY

TUESDAY

Comedy Girl Class Recital at Comedy Bar 8 pm

In Conversation with… George R.R. Martin on Game of Thrones at TIFF Bell Lightbox 9:30 am Same day tickets available one hour prior to event

the vegetarian platter, if you are new to Ethiopian food. It’s a good way to sample all the flavours. Small heaps of split peas, lentils, chickpeas, collard greens, and veggies sit on a round plate of injera, a spongy flatbread that you use to pick up the stuff and transport it to your mouth. The meat is equally good but always a little more spicy, and expensive, than the veggie platter. It’s simple and it’s perfect.

For lunch you can easily get away with splitting a veggie platter for one ($11). But if you are really hungry, this is exactly the kind of restaurant where you’ll want to splurge a little. The communal platter really lends itself well to eating with lots of friends, as long as you (like me) don’t get jealous that they’re eating too much of your food. The setting and the food all equal the best comfort food you can get.

Lalibela has an awesome website about traditional coffee ceremonies and how injera is made. Check it out at lalibelaethiopianrestaurant.com

WEDNESDAY Static Zine #3 Launch w/ The Ruby Spirit, Wazu, Carnival Moon at The Rivoli 7 pm $5.00

THURSDAY The Undrummer w/ Sexy Mathematics, Fighter/Lover at Nocturne 9 pm $5.00

UC Drama breaks The Rules Monica Carinci VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

The title of UC Drama’s latest production of The Rules by ‘90s playwright Charles Mee is misleading considering the plot of this experimental theatre piece seems to follow few rules or guidelines. At the Helen Gardiner Phelan Playhouse, award-winning director Banuta Rubess presents a collection of isolated vignettes vaguely connected through the idea of classconsciousness. Though the disorienting plot seems like it would cause the audience to lose focus, the five talented cast members from the University College drama program succeed in entertaining the whole way through.

Mee’s play allows much room for variation in production, and Rubess uses this to her advantage. At the beginning of the play, we are introduced to the life of the upper-class and their world of country clubs and random luxuriousness. These haunting scenes of materialism in the first act are followed by Uxbridge native Ainslie Drew-Brook’s stand-up routine. Laced with profanity and commentary on racial stereotypes, Drew-Brook’s bit is reminiscent of comedians before her; however, her performance stands above fellow cast member Philip Furgiuele’s later routine on masturbation.

The audience participation aspect of the play seems intimidating at first but luckily plays a minimal role throughout the evening.

In order to use the small stage space to their advantage, the cast has the audience move around quite a bit, which helps keep everyone awake for all the laughs.

One of the highlights of the production is the quirkiness and versatility of cast member Katherine Housley. She moves from an English to an American accent with ease and provides a hilarious bit on “oriental carpet making” following intermission.

Toronto-born Jennifer Fraser later shows off her charismatic dancing during the cast’s rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Bad.” Following a disclaimer from Furgiuele is a hilarious hospital scene, which is arguably the most entertaining skit of the night. The use of props is both hilarious and ingenious, and if not for the goofiness of the cast, the audience might even be fooled to believe the patient (Housley) is wide open on the cutting table. While the audience makes it through the night with ease, unfortunately the patient isn’t as lucky.

The Rules plays until March 18 at the Helen Gardiner Phelan Playhouse.

Reserve tickets at ucdrama.tickets@gmail.com

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Will Ferrell’s new movie Casa De Mi Padre at various theatres

St. Party’s Day at St. Lawrence Market 11 am – nighttime

Douglas Coupland Exhibition at Daniel Faria Gallery Ongoing

arts@thevarsity.ca

VARSITY ARTS & CULTURE

Studio Ghibli comes to TIFF

MONday, MARCH 12, 2012

Write for Arts! – arts@thevarsity.ca

We sit down with Jesse Wente to discuss the evolution of the renowned Japanese animation studio Brandon Bastaldo and Damanjit Lamba VARSITY STAFF

The Japanese animation house, Studio Ghibli, was founded in the mid-’80s by Hayao Miyazaki and crew amid bustling anime enterprises.

What immediately set Ghibli apart, and continues to serve as its philosophical base, is its humanist aesthetic — present in everything from the studio’s hand-drawn animation to the social and environmental concerns distilled in each and every film. The studio’s work borrows as much from fairy tales (in the manner of Disney) as it does from science fiction. Even when images of industrialization’s contaminating effects saturate the screen, remnants of beauty and the possibility of rebirth are always present in the visual field. Such hybridity is what allows viewers of all ages to take away diverse sentiments from Ghibli’s projects. And with International Women’s Day just behind us, it’s refreshing to see films that predominantly hold women as the drivers of narratives. Yes, there are princesses, but they’re not obsessed with the “colours of the wind” or snagging a prince in times of desperation. Rather, the women of Ghibli are dedicated to preserving the environment, kicking ass, and evolving alongside the demands of modernization. The Varsity recently got a chance to chat with the head of film programmes for TIFF Bell Lightbox, Jesse Wente, who was eager to share his insights on Ghibli’s evolution alongside shifting trends in Japanese animation and his excitement for the green-lighted retrospective, Spirited Away: The Films of Studio Ghibli, taking place at the Lightbox from March 10 to April 13.

The Varsity: People often botch the pronunciation of the studio. How do you say Studio Ghibli?

Jesse Wente: It is in fact pronounced Studio Ghibli (jib-lee), which is the correct pronunciation from Miyazaki-san himself. It’s one of those weird things where I think it’s a studio name that for so many years people haven’t said, they’ve just seen.

TV: How has Disney and Pixar’s exclusive North American distribution of Ghibli films been beneficial to the studio?

JW: It’s an incredibly unique position, and I think it’s been hugely beneficial to Studio Ghibli’s influence in the world, and in the world of cinema in particular, and I applaud them. Disney has been very supportive of us having this series here; they’ve been incredibly generous in us having these films because to them it’s part of their mission to make sure these films are seen by people. When we first opened the

building this series was one of the dreams that we would someday mount [in the Bell TIFF Lightbox]. Quite frankly, I thought it was going to be years and years away, because it’s a really monumental task to get both original language and dubbed versions of these films together. The Pixar relationship has been hugely beneficial to Ghibli and has in no way impeached their voice.

They still produce exactly the same types of films they produced 20 years ago.

TV: Where do you think Ghibli’s aesthetic fits within the changing sphere of Japanese animation?

JW: It really does stand apart. I mean, it’s very interesting to have a studio, which Ghibli very much is. [Ghibli] employs hundreds of people and artists working on these films for years and years — it’s a studio in the way we think of studios. Yet as a company it has an auteur aesthetic, in the sense that the movies are all of the kind and alike. It’s really unique to animation because of the products they churn out. I think that Ghibli always really stood in connection to animation but also very distinctly apart. While they do have talking animals and action sequences that one would normally associate with Japanese animation, they are somewhat of a different sort. I think that comes from the stories, they take very traditional Japanese myths and stories and transfer them to animation in a way you don’t normally see otherwise.

TV: What are your three must-see Studio Ghibli films?

JW: Wow, uh, jeez. The first one I ever saw is their very first film, Nausicaa, which I would have seen probably in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s.

Nausicaa, at that time, was really quite legendary. Legendary and hard to find. I still think it’s one of their grandest statements. I just think its a stunningly beautiful movie, it really announces their [Ghibli’s] arrival in a way that I think is sort of amazing. I would then put My Neighbor Totoro, which is my all time favourite Ghibli movie. To be honest with you it makes me cry every time.

TV: Totally agree with you there!

JW: It’s such a beautiful film. What I love now as a parent, which I didn’t appreciate when I saw the film, is that movies like Totoro are really hard to find in North America — films that have that sensibility and speak to kids ... and present the world that the film does. After that I’d probably say Spirited Away. It’s probably their most popular movie in North America, and I remember when it was nominated for the Oscars and it was sort of like ‘Where else would this movie have come from but Studio Ghibli?’

A scene from Hayao Miyazaki’s 2001 film Spirited Away

Hart House Theatre presents

7:30pm CurTain

canada’s largest university dance festival

Box office: adults $12 students / seniors $10 general admission 416.978.8849 / www.uofttix.ca

w w w . H a r T H o u s e T H e aT r e . C a

11

12

MONday, MARCH 12, 2012

VARSITY ARTS & CULTURE

arts@thevarsity.ca

Money can’t pay all debts Danielle Klein sits down at a roundtable interview with Margaret Atwood and Jennifer Baichwal to discuss their NFB documentary on the nature of debt

S

eated across from me at a roundtable at Sutton Place Hotel, Margaret Atwood is consumed with debt — not debt of a financial nature but debt as a psychological construct.

In 2008, Atwood delivered the CBC Massey Lectures Payback: Debt and the Shadow Side of Wealth. Although her original topic was related to literature, she ultimately decided to test unfamiliar waters and write about debt. It is clear that this subject continues to fascinate Atwood, who reminds me of a professor in her eagerness to discuss her area of study. Though this great Canadian literary mind is indeed rather charming, Atwood, posing as many rhetorical questions as questions are posed to her, is analytical, sharp, and cool: both remarkably interested and exceptionally interesting.

This year, director Jennifer Baichwal releases her documentary, Payback, based on the lecture series and subsequent novel. It took some convincing, however, to prompt Baichwal to take on the project.

“At first she said, ‘oh, it’s about money; I don’t want to do that,’ but as soon as she realized it wasn’t about money but about how people interact, then she got interested in it,” Atwood recalls.

Baichwal elaborates in a separate interview, “I didn’t know what it was about because I’d only listened to the first lecture and I thought… ‘it’s probably going to be about money — it’s going to be about the crash’… But [producer] Ravida [Din] persisted and said “you just have to read it, and then we can talk,” and I think she probably knew that I would get completely hooked because of the ideas and the complexity. I mean, she’s [Atwood] so smart, but she’s also so curious. To preserve curiosity

when you’ve lived for a long time, that’s a true achievement, and you see that curiosity when you read the book.”

Although Atwood’s ideas about debt inspired the film, she was not involved with the process of creating the documentary. She and Baichwal had a brief discussion at the onset of the project, following which Baichwal embarked on a three-year process of filmmaking independent of Atwood’s guidance. The book and the documentary are therefore very different from one another, utilizing entirely unique anecdotes to complement Atwood’s notions of debt.

Baichwal grappled with how to present Atwood in her film, finally choosing to use original recordings of her Massey lectures as narration for the film’s testimonies. “If you think of the stories that she follows as beads, the lectures as the string, and then the pattern as the way she will do several beads, and then a repeat of those beads further down… we see how each of the beads turns out,” Atwood explains, carefully demonstrating the action of stringing beads.

“These were originally delivered orally,” Baichwal comments regarding the lectures, “and there’s something about the chatty nature of them — they’re kind of conversational, even though they’re dense… The little things she said contextualize the story — ‘revenge is a wound of a soul’ the trickle-down theory of economics, the metaphor of not a gushing waterfall but a leaking tap — that’s all you need to know about why that story’s there.”

Atwood could not pinpoint any one of the new anecdotes introduced by Baichwal as particularly germane to her message.

“It’s very hard to select because they are

That word, ‘environmental’… is pretty abstract, and you think ‘well, it’s over there I don’t have to worry about the environment unless I go camping.’

—Margaret Atwood

arts’ arts

Been in love since St. Patty’s day A few years back.

Only 17, They had no clue.

It was then your bubbles and incandescent glow Made me want you more Green.

You arrest me Darling With your head.

I would steal unicorns from god And bring them back to you, My sweet.

Now I lay reposed, Waiting for mercy.

Waiting to be sober To fap Once more.

—by Bianca Lemus Lavarrada

emphasizes environmental debt. I bring this up in the interview, but before answering my comment, Atwood scolds my wording: “That word, ‘environmental’… is pretty abstract, and you think well, it’s over there I don’t have to worry about the environment unless I go camping.’ So let’s just talk about your water, your food and your air. Because that’s what it is really.”

Scrooge once again serves as a vessel for Atwood’s thinking, now on human debt to the environment. “So Scrooge wakes up, and… he’s not condemned forever. We still have time… but I don’t see any political will. In fact, what I see is a political will to squash dissent and make it as if none of it’s happening.”

Baichwal expresses hope for the utopian future envisioned by Atwood at the end of Payback and hinted at in the documentary’s final scenes, commenting, “I believe, at the end, when Scrooge is walking around in his hemp suit and people are riding around on bicycles and lots of debt’s been wiped out, I could imagine a future like that.”

She jokes that Margaret is more cynical than herself, and indeed, this comes across as Atwood departs from the room, talking still passionately even as she is passing through the doorframe, cheekily adding over her shoulder, “…but never mind — somebody will think of something, that’s what we always hope.”

To preserve curiosity when you’ve lived for a long time, that’s a true achievement, and you see that curiosity when you read the book.

—Jennifer Baichwal

There will be a free screening of Payback, followed by a Q&A with Jennifer Baichwal at Innis Town Hall on March 15, 2012, 6:30 pm (doors open at 6 pm). RSVP to rsvp.innis@utoronto.ca GLORIA SIMUNIC/THe VArsity

Ode to a Keithian Pint The last beer, I cry.

Drops splash My taste buds are like Whoa, Whoa.

As bark sprouts and leaves mulch, The seasons pass and I wait For today.

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

all different looks at the same thing, which is balances — how do we balance this situation, how do we balance that situation? When are things out of balance, when are they in balance? And we do that every day, in every way.” Laughing, Atwood adds an example reminiscent of her book, “I made the toast yesterday, it’s your turn.”

The lectures emphasized literary evidence, but the film necessarily took virtually all its testimony from modern events and phenomena, such as the BP oil spill, an Albanian blood feud, and the case of a Canadian prisoner. Baichwal hoped to expand on Atwood’s ideas without reiterating the novel. “The goal was to create, like the book did, a space where you can think about debt in ways that you wouldn’t normally think about it or that you haven’t thought about it before.”

The use of Charles Dickens’ iconic character, Ebenezer Scrooge, is one common thread in both film and novel.

“We love Scrooge,” Atwood explains. “He’s always intrigued me as a literary figure and also as one people connect with quite strongly partly because he gets a second chance. But he’s also an early capitalist figure…

What Dickens doesn’t want is no capitalism; what he wants is benevolent capitalists.”

She goes: “The other question is what would Scrooge look like if he were with us today? And what would the spirits of past, present, and future show him? … And in what way is he then going to be motivated to act differently?”

When Atwood originally published Payback, critics applauded her for her timeliness in discussing debt just prior to the 2008 global economic meltdown. The film now

Poems for pints Whiskey and Bailey’s and Sljivovica, oh my choose two out of three —Bernarda Gospic First day of third year it’s too early to study get wine drunk instead —BG Green beer and hard hats I won’t make it to the bar ale plus vodka: fuck —Stephanie Travassos

Erotik, in Two Parts Part I: Part II: I want you The corner of the bar From across the room is where we are a shock-white head cool glass and body golden as hands clutch it’s like you’re Norwegian not a wallet or something stranger but you but not like a stranger when I finish because I want you I feel a slow and your heady art joy spread GLORIA xxxxxxxxxxxxx/THe VArsity to coat my throat through stretched as perked as limbs and toppled pleasure — a gasp glasses is it it’s you imagination? my brew no my Labbatt Blue it’s you.

—Erene Stergiopoulos

Science

var.st/SCIENCE

12 MARCH 2012 science@thevarsity.ca

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

See the lastest in our Science Illustrated series http://var.st/ae6

A visual tour of the Sanford Fleming Laboratory p16

Not that into you How women and men are led astray by sexual misperception Dennis Dobrovolsky VARSITY CONTRIBUTOR

It’s not unusual to hear females talk about how they need to behave cautiously around males because they are afraid of leading them on unintentionally. From the heterosexual male perspective, the twirling of hair during a conversation or even looking across the room at a guy can often make him wonder if you’re sexually interested in him. Likewise, it’s not rare to come across dudes who endlessly complain about how hard it is to catch a lady’s eye. It seems you could be as charming or smooth as it gets but in the end she’ll turn the other way.

A recent paper published by the Association for Psychological Science provides an evolutionary perspective on these everyday awkward sexual encounters.

Carin Perilloux and her coworkers at the University of Texas conducted a study involving a sample of undergraduates (96 men and 103 women) in an attempt to quantify perceptions of sexual attraction. The

students were randomly split into male-female pairs and were asked to chat with each other for a few minutes about neutral topics. After the interaction, both conversation partners filled out a survey on their level of interest in the other person and then rate the other person’s interest in them.

The results of the study showed that males tended to overestimate how attracted females were to them.

Why? Using evolutionary reasoning, it takes little effort for a man to impregnate a woman so the cost of a missed opportunity to mate outweighs the cost of being rejected.

Hence, the male’s eagerness to assume a female is reciprocating. On the other hand, females in the study tended to underestimate how attracted guys were to them. An answer to why they did this may be found in evolutionary biology.

“Because women have to invest more — you know, carry a child, give birth to a child — they tend to be more choosy in their mating strategies,” says Amy Muise, a social psychologist at U of T.

“The article suggests that [women] underperceive because it can deter unwanted sexual advances from men, and it can help women avoid making a bad choice. Because it’s not as costly for men, they’re better overperceiving because then they won’t miss out on an opportunity.”

Another interesting finding was that the men who overperceived sexual interest were more likely to rate themselves as being highly attractive. However, the females in the sample did not show any increased attraction to these self-proclaimed attractive guys. Conversely, the females that the men found most desirable were not aware of their good looks. In fact, the women that were rated hottest by the men did not rate themselves any more attractive than the average.

So as far as this study goes, it supports a bias that has crossed everyone’s mind at some point: attractive females may more often than not find themselves attracting males from every inch of the earth. That said, second-guessing yourself never hurt anyone.

ROXANA PARSA/THe VArsity

14

VARSITY SCIENCE

monday, MARCH 12 , 2012

science@thevarsity.ca

A vast and awesome universe Professor Bob Abraham has a passion for the cosmos Bianca Lemus Lavarreda SCIENCE EDITOR

How does one go about exploring a question as broad as how and why there is a universe? U of T’s professor Bob Abraham from the Department of Astronomy and Astrophysics encounters questions like these in his studies every day. Abraham recently sat down with The Varsity to share his drive to explore the universe.

When asked why he chose to specialize in observational cosmology, Abraham cites his fascination with the “big questions” posed in astronomy. He is mostly interested in the central issues that have occupied humanity since we “crawled out of the primordial slime.” In answering these questions, Abraham thinks cosmology provides an individual with perspective on the universe as a whole and his or her place within it.

As a fairly optimistic but skeptical person, Abraham is most attracted to the observational side of astronomy as opposed to the computational side because he would rather “study the universe from the point of view of seeing what’s actually out there, kind of doing this exploration through discovery rather than programming this stuff into a computer and seeing

JANINE RIVIERE/THe VArsity

what the computer tells me is going to be happening… The universe is incredibly surprising, so all of this stuff is emerging just by going out there and looking.”

Abraham thinks this is a fantastic time to be an astronomer. “I have been amazed at how easy it is to make discoveries in astronomy. If

you have a big enough telescope, you can open up vast new areas of the universe that nobody has ever looked at before and almost always, as soon as you start looking at bits of the universe that nobody has ever explored, you discover new things. [Astronomers] all band together … and build these gigantic telescopes. As a result,

one year to a great career Your degree or diploma is a great foundation — now get the job-specific skills employers are looking for in as little as eight months.

Sheridan offers 25 post-graduate programs that will prepare you for a career in business, management, communications, or digital media.

Get the rewarding job you want & shine brighter.

REGISTER ONLINE TO ATTEND OUR

post-graduate

OPEN HOUSE

Thursday, March 1 | 6-8 pm

You could WIN a $1000 Tuition Credit!

postgrad.sheridancollege.ca

we can all have access to this kind of cutting-edge stuff, simultaneously [invigorating] the field.”

But Abraham doesn’t have to look too far to figure out what attracts him to astronomy. “The universe that you see around you is only like three per cent of what’s out there…

Everything you see in this room is made up of atoms so you think ‘oh well, that’s the nature of the universe’ — but no! The stuff made up of atoms is only like three per cent of the mass of the universe. Ninety-seven per cent is made up of this stuff called either dark matter or dark energy… It just does not respond to light at all, so consequentially you can only detect it by its motions because it does respond to gravity, so the motions of things let you detect the presence of this dark matter stuff but you just can’t see it. Dark energy is this component of the universe that’s associated with emptiness in between the galaxies so it’s the part of the universe that looks the most empty, [but] at least in terms of the energy content of the universe, the most rich. It’s making the universe expand in its acceleration…”

Abraham recounts three interesting projects he has going on at the moment. The first project relates to a discovery by one of his graduate students who was recently admitted at Harvard for a post-doc position. The discovery is that in the early universe, galaxies were much smaller than they are today, even though they’re about the same mass.

“Nobody knows why, so there are a bunch of possibilities, that people are writing about, but fundamentally nobody knows why.” Abraham and colleagues are currently analyzing data from the Hubble Space Telescope and data from many groundbased telescopes to figure out why galaxies become bigger as the universe gets older.

The other project is on figuring out how to exploit a technique called “adaptive optics.” This technique uses lasers and supercomputers to try to fix the blurring in earth’s atmosphere when trying to capture images from outer space. Ultimately, Abraham wants to be able to “take pictures from [Earth’s] ground that are as clear as pictures you can take with the Hubble.”

Abraham describes his third project with a colleague from Yale as “truly crazy.” “We think that galaxies are built up by crashing together

little galaxies [that] smash against each other and then eventually settle down [such that] what you’re left with is a bigger galaxy. We think this happened to all sorts of galaxies, including our own.”

In order to study the remnants of these galaxies crashing together, he is trying to come up with a technique to use really small telescopes with expensive yet off-the-shelf camera lenses. He wants to try to use some of these lenses with some techniques he and his colleague are developing to visualize things that are really faint to look for the remnants of crashing galaxies.

As for his bucket list, one particular question Abraham would most like to have answered is the solution to Fermi’s Paradox. This paradox essentially boils down to one question: where the hell are all the aliens? Enrico Fermi was a famous physicist who worked out the possibility that a highly technologically-advanced civilization can at some point build a probe that could go to the nearest star. This probe may be able to replicate itself so that one probe could be launched out into space and then there would eventually be self-replicating probes throughout the galaxy. “The prediction is that the universe should be just teeming with evidence for advanced technological civilizations because all you really need is one [probe]. There’s no evidence for that that I can see, and so I would like to know why not?”

Abraham wonders.

Another mystery Abraham would really love to have answered is why the universe emerged in the first place. “[We’ve] gotten to the point now where we’re really measuring things like the age of the universe, it’s composition, what it’s made of, the balance of the different things like the dark energy versus dark matter versus regular stuff, and so we’re able to understand these things, but we still don’t understand the initial reason for the existence of the universe. Interestingly, though, that’s now almost something that we can actually speculate about scientifically and not theologically.

We’re kind of on the cusp of being able to answer those ginormous questions. Why did the universe emerge? Why did it have the properties that it has? I would [also] like to know why we’re here at all.”

When asked about the most outlandish hypothesis he could think of, Abraham replies that “the thing about being an observational cosmologist is you are grounded in the nitty-gritty of testable hypotheses, but you’re operating in an environment where the questions themselves are so outlandish… Even though I don’t do this every day, there are colleagues that I work with who sit down and try and come up with experiments to parameterize the first few microseconds of the origin of the universe to try to better understand why it emerged…

You have to be a hard-nosed scientist with an appreciation of what the data is telling you, but at the same time, you’re dealing with these fantastically profound questions that sound outlandish but aren’t.” According to Abraham, “No idea is too outlandish, as long as it’s grounded in reality, as long as it’s testable. I reckon that astronomy makes progress through the continued use of outlandish ideas to move the field forward.”

VARSITY SCIENCE

science@thevarsity.ca

monday, MARCH 12, 2012

15

SC ENCe n br ef Feeling blue: an evolutionary advantage?

A recent idea proposed in the journal Molecular Psychiatry is that depression and immunity genes may have co-evolved. It could be that certain variations in the genome that promote depression arose throughout evolution because of their ability to increase immunity and fight infection. Some genes that affect depression and immunity may be the same due to our ancestors’ high risk of infection, especially during youth. Future experiments will involve screening for inflammation markers to predict possible treatments for depression.

—Cristina Olteanu Source: Science Daily

Anxiety medications an increasing cause of death for celebrities Whitney Houston’s passing has ignited discussions about the correlation between celebrity anxiety and medication overdose.

Dr. Harris Stratyner, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York’s Mount Sinai hospital, said that many celebrities are diagnosed with anxiety disorders and prescribed benzodiazepines.

Dr. Meldon Kahan, associate professor in the department of family medicine at U of T, said that because these pills provide such rapid relief to stressed celebrities, they increase the risk of addiction. Too many benzodiazepines calm a person’s system until he or she stops breathing — and celebrity deaths have confirmed the consequences of overdose.

—Dalana Parris Source: Toronto Star

The bonobo way Sexual interactions between female bonobos have been known to contribute to their close bonding. Although it is evident that these interactions are socially relevant, the underlying psychological processes remain unclear. To investigate this, Dr. Clay and Dr. Zuberbuhler at the University of St. Andrews studied the communication between female bonobos during sex. Through naturalistic observations and experiments, they found that some females produced “copulation calls” during sexual interactions that were influenced by the rank of the caller and partner as well as solicitation direction. These results demonstrate that sexual interactions and copulation calls between female bonobos are important in establishing social relations.

—Alainna Jamal Source: Nature

Free pizza and beer!

Make your point by pointing Researchers at the University of Virginia have shown that pointing can give children the impression that you know what you’re doing when you don’t. Preschoolers were shown a clip of a female experimenter hiding a ball under one of four cups, while another female experimenter stood facing away. In the following scene, both women were able to see the cups and both positioned their hands either in their laps, grasping cups, or pointing at the cups.

Compared to seeing the two other gestures, watching both women point reduced the children’s ability to identify the woman who knew where the ball was hidden.

—Kimberly Shek and Mayce AlSukhni Source: Psychological Science

But then I got high Marijuana has been previously shown to impair memory. However, French scientists have recently demonstrated that tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the psychoactive component in marijuana, interferes with working memory by affecting astrocytes, a type of brain cell.

Astrocytes were previously thought to have only played a supportive role to neurons.

Prior to the study, astrocytes did not demonstrate playing a role in memory processes. As a result, this research represents a significant leap forward in our understanding of the intricacies of neural processes.

—Sean Kennedy and Maggie Keenan Source: Science Daily

The Varsity is holding its Annual General Meeting on April 10, 2012.

(for your thoughts) Read The Varsity? We want to hear from you.

We’re holding a 1½-hour focus group with about 10 students. We want to know what you think of our paper this year and how we can improve.

Your thoughts will help guide our masthead, and we’ll give you some pizza and booze. http://var.st/focusgroup

Board of directors elections are coming up as well.

Are you interested in governance and providing direction for a 130-year-old paper?

For more info, please visit

var.st/agm2012

16

VARSITY SCIENCE

monday, MARCH 12 , 2012

Concrete jungle photos by Bernarda Gospic text by Bianca Lemus Lavarreda Here’s a visual walk through one of U of T’s Civil Engineering labs. The Sandford Fleming Structures Laboratory houses state-ofthe-art equipment used to test concrete and other materials.

Check out the rest of the lab photos at http://var.st/concrete 1

3

1 The Shear Panel Tester 2 Research in progress

2

3 Shell Element Tester 4 Column Beam Tester 5 Optical Coordinate Measuring Machine (CMM)

4

5

science@thevarsity.ca

Sports var.st/SPORTS

12 MARCH 2012

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

From the Archives: Remember when Varsity Stadium was new?

sports@thevarsity.ca

Athlete, scholar, leader

http://var.st/5eg

Susan Gordon profiles men’s basketball captain Drazen Glisic in the latest in our End Game series

it y

became a reality when the University of Toronto men’s basketball program took notice of his strong play.

“They scouted me in grade 11, they came and saw a tournament, and I talked to the coaches. And then grade 12, a coach came and saw me play.

“I contacted them and I came out [to U of T]… and just played. They worked me out, and then that day they asked me if I would come [play for the Blues].”

Glisic didn’t see many minutes in his rookie season, and while this may have frustrated many players, the future Blues captain took a more positive attitude: “They told me straight out I wouldn’t play much; I was okay with that. I figured I would have to work hard, improve my game, and see where it went, so my expectations were very small.

Just being part of the team was great for me.”

The Blues’ playoff performance that season was disappointing since the team, ranked fifth by CIS, was eliminated in the OUA semifinal by the Ottawa Gee-Gees.

In his second year, Glisic was given more playing time, and he didn’t disappoint, leading the team in field goal and free throw percentages. “I was happy to be playing, contributing to the team,” said Glisic. “It was a great feeling.”

That same year, Glisic’s successful academic career was recognized as well, and he was awarded the Basketball Award of Merit. But Glisic’s personal success was overshadowed by another frustrating postseason loss for the Blues, as they fell to the rival Ottawa Gee-Gees once more.

Glisic saw his minutes on the court increase drastically in his third season at U of T, as he was chosen to start for the Blues. Again, Glisic’s productivity increased, and he was ranked second in the OUA in field goal percentage, eighth in the conference in rebounding, and first on the team with 25 blocks.

spic/THe VArs

ifth-year forward Drazen “Dre” Glisic of the Varsity Blues men’s basketball team has been recognized throughout his university basketball career for both his athletic and academic abilities.

Glisic, who graduated last year with a degree in Phys. Ed. and has finished up his last season with the Blues, will be greatly missed by the team.

Glisic started his basketball career at a young age. “I was in grade 5 or 6, and I started playing at a community centre — it was the only place in my area… My dad played semi-pro in [former] Yugoslavia, so that was a big influence as well, seeing pictures of him playing.”

Playing at university level has long been a dream for Glisic, who was born in Sarajevo, in present-day Bosnia, and raised in Toronto. “I think I always played to keep playing, throughout school and throughout rep. Playing as long as I could was always a goal of mine, for sure.”

When Glisic was in high school, his hope

Bernarda Go

F

CONTINUED P19

Intramurals

I

Crunch time

Intramural soccer player MONICA SLOVAK recaps her week on the field

ROB LEONE/THe VArsity

t was yet another busy week for us on the soccer pitch. The St. Mike’s women’s intramural team was fighting to advance from the semifinal against the top-seeded grads; in tri-campus action, we faced off against UTM in our final league match with a spot in the playoffs at stake.

Our SMC women’s team had been looking forward to the game against the grads all season, knowing they would present good competition. We made a slow start with several slip-ups in defense, but fortunately the grads weren’t able to find the back of the net. About mid-way through the first half, Laura Naples put SMC up 1–0. After that, the goals kept coming; Naples scored another, and yours truly weighed in too, putting us 3–0 up. It wasn’t until the second half that the Grads responded with a goal, but we followed that up by with two more SMC goals from Elyse Huhlewych, ensuring the win as the game ended 5–1.

Going into the final weekend of tri-campus league play, the St. George B and UTM teams shared first place on eight points, while St. George A and UTSC were tied for second with five points each. We, St. George A, knew we needed a win in order to stand any chance of making the playoffs. There was the possibility of a four-way tie for first, which would have caused the standings to be decided by goal difference. The game against UTM was physical and competitive, and we had countless opportunities to score but seemed to be missing by the slightest margins. The second half was filled with miscommunication, allowing UTM several scoring opportunities, but fortunately goalkeeper Kim Nguyen was able to keep the ball out of the net. It wasn’t until there were less than 10 minutes to go that Jasmine Choi was able to score, giving us the lead and ultimately a 1–0 win.

In the game that followed, St. George B and UTSC tied, meaning that UTSC is out and that we play UTM again in the seminfinals next week.

The SMC girls look forward to next week’s final against PHE, where we hope to win another championship, and St. George A will look to repeat this week’s result against UTM in tri-campus semifinal action.

18

VARSITY SPORTS

Monday, MARCH 12, 2012

sports@thevarsity.ca

Stay fit all summer long The end of the semester is a perfect time to start exercising again Alberto Bustamante VARSITY STAFF

WENDY GU/THe VArsity

CLASSIFIEDS FOR SALE ViNYL cDs TUrNTABLEs High quality, hand-picked selection.

Major & Minor musical genres.

Reconditioned audio equipment.

3 minutes S of College & St.George, 18 Baldwin. 416.979.2822 AROUND AGAIN RECORDS

SERVICES SPELLCHEQUER EDITING SERVICES Want to improve your grades? Hire an editor to ensure your writing is clear and error-free. Affordable rates, quick turnaround. h ttp://spellchequer.com

EDiTiNG, TUToriNG, AcADEMic proposALs, GrAD scHooL AppLicATioNs, AND WorLD-cLAss rÉsUMÉs.

SERVING UOFT COMMUNITY SINCE 1983. EXCELLENCE GUARANTEED. RESUME_EXPERT@CONSULTANT. COM OR 416/539-9443.

TUToriNG! HUMANiTiEs, sociAL sciENcEs, sciENcEs, LANGUAGEs, EssAYs THE STUDENT TUTORING NETWORK 416-855-9651, 416-990-7506 tstn@rogers.com www.tstn.ca

VArsiTY cLAssiFiEDs

Cost $12.00 for twenty-five words. $0.25 for each additional word. Rates include one line of bold type for the ad header. No copy changes after submission. Submit ads by email, mail or phone.

Ads must be submitted at least four days prior to publication. Varsity Classifieds, 21 Sussex Ave, Suite #306, Toronto, ON, M5S 1J6. Call 416-946-7604 or email ads@thevarsity.ca.

By this time of year, those of us who made New Year’s resolutions to get in shape have likely already abandoned them. With March being one of the busiest months of the year for university students, most are dedicating far more time to finishing assignments and preparing for exams than hitting the gym.

For those of you looking to take advantage of your university “offseason” to reach those lofty fitness goals you abandoned not so long ago, Varsity Blues volleyball player Alexandra Hudson has some words of wisdom.

One of the first things you have to do is “look at your motivation,” Hudson says. “If you really want it, look at what you need to do to get to that level. It if involves becoming stronger, becoming faster, or becoming more skilled, do whatever it takes to get to where you want to be.”

It’s important when you start training to set short-term goals for yourself. Quitting during a tough workout is that much easier when you don’t have anything to reach for.

Sometimes having a goal that’s a few months away can cause you to lose focus, so it’s a good idea to set weekly or monthly ones that are attainable, but also difficult enough that you really need to work for them.

When planning your exercise routine, get some help creating one that’s tailored for you and your goals. For her off-season training, Hudson has been focusing on improving her strength through Olympic lifts — cleans, snatches, squats — and using bands for shoulder work. She’s also been doing spinning classes; variety is important in order to maximize your gains. You not only need to train hard but also to train smart.

Hudson also recommends partnering up for workouts. “I find going with a partner to the gym really helps me and especially other partners who play beach volleyball with me or who have the same goals in mind.”

Having someone with you in the gym ensures you have someone to push you and help you if needed.

Sometimes going to the gym can get monotonous, so look for new or different activities to try out. Ever consider competing in a triathlon?

Perhaps climbing the CN Tower?

Or even trying something new like dragonboat racing? Toronto will host numerous events like these in the coming months that offer everyone a chance to get out and be active with others. If you’re struggling to get motivated, the prospect of competing with others watching you could be just the incentive you need! As a bonus, most of these events help out great causes as well.

If your goal is to play a certain sport, the best way to prepare for the rigours of a full season is to practise that sport. Playing sports is a great way to get in shape, make new friends, and give in to your competitive side. Options to consider are U of T’s intramural soccer and co-ed softball leagues, which run during the summer months and are available to all university students who want to participate.

Everyone who goes through a training schedule experiences tough times when they want to give up. If you don’t have moments of doubt, you’re not training hard enough.

During those tough times, remember the words Muhammad Ali, who confessed “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’”

Write for Sports sports@thevarsity.ca

CIS track and field championship roundup The Varsity Blues track and field team put in a stellar performance at the CIS championships in Winnipeg, Manitoba last week.

The women’s 4×400 m relay team broke the CIS track and field championship record in a time of 3:41.47. Alicia Brown, Rachel Jewett, Fiona Callendar, and Sarah Wells beat the previous record of 3:45.83, set by U of T in 1998.

The Blues also broke the 4×400 m record at the OUA championships last month, in a time of 3:49.29 to smash the record by over five seconds.

Alex Witmer led the men with a 2.04 m to take silver in the men’s high jump. The event winner, from the University of Saskatchewan, cleared the same height but did not miss an attempt to beat the Blues’ athlete into second.

Three Blues athletes, Laura Maessen, Shaneista Haye, and Rachel Jewett, finished fourth in the women’s event.

Distance runner and U of T sports superstar Tamara Jewett won the women’s 1500 m in a time of 4:25.97. Jewett finished second at the OUA championships, behind McMaster runner Katie Anderson, but finished ahead of the same competitor to earn CIS gold.

Both the men’s and women’s teams finished seventh in 4×800 m relay action.

Rachel Jewett also won an individual medal, taking the bronze in the women’s pentathlon. She won the same event at the OUA championship, and was named field events female MVP. The Blues finished fourth in the women’s standings, with the University of Windsor taking the championship for a fourth succesive year. The men finished 11th, with the Western Mustangs topping the standings for the first time in their history.

—Murad Hemmadi

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

sports@thevarsity.ca

VARSITY SPORTS

monday, march 12, 2012

FROM HERE, GO ANYWHERE. BACHELOR’S DEGREES GRADUATE CERTIFICATES PATHWAYS TO FURTHER EDUCATION

SENECACOLLEGE.CA

Bernarda Gospic/THe VArsity

NEW PROGRAM LAUNCH MAY 2012

School of Environmental and Natural Resource Sciences

ENVIRONMENTAL VISUAL COMMUNICATION

Glisic scores against the Windsor Lancers during a regular season game in November.

CONTINUED from P17 His basketball success was accompanied by off-court recognition, as Glisic received the Dr. Ronald Sternberg award of merit, awarded to a Blues player who demonstrates good academics, athletics, and leadership on the court.

Glisic’s strong academic performance was also recognized by the CIS, as he was named a CIS Academic All-Canadian.

Yet again, however, the team had an unsuccessful post-season, as the Blues were eliminated in the OUA East quarterfinals.

With 13 points per game in his fourth season, Glisic continued to improve.

The Blues, however, did not; the team was eliminated for the third time in four years by the Ottawa Gee-Gees. “It’s frustrating losing to them,” said Glisic. “I mean, you don’t want to lose to anyone, but seeing them over and over again, losing to them, was always tough.”

Fortunately, the Blues final position did not stop the OUA from recognizing Glisic’s great play, and he was named a second-team OUA all-star.

This year, Glisic’s fifth, he was named co-captain along with Andrew Wasik by the coaching team. Glisic’s role as captain has not been a vocal one, though. “I think the guys know I’m a ‘lead-by-example’ guy. I don’t like talking much in the game, I just like to go out there and play, that’s what I’m here for. It’s different, being captain at this level, but it’s been a good experience.”

The Blues ended their regular season triumphantly this year with a win over the Gee-Gees, a game in which Glisic scored 15 points and a game-high nine boards. But that success did not transfer over to the post-season; the Blues lost in the OUA East quarterfinals, this time to the Laurentian Voyageurs, once again ending the year in frustrating fashion.

The short playoff runs that have plagued the Blues during Glisic’s time on the team should not, however, be allowed to obscure his individual success. Glisic, whose next goal is to attain a master’s degree in biomechanics, has been an extremely impressive athlete and academic during his time on the team.

“Dre is one of the best people we have ever had associated with our program,” said Blues assistant coach Mike De Giorgio. “It’s very rare that you get a guy that never lets emotion get the best of him and is constantly giving his all.

“His work ethic and attitude made our team better every day, and he has had a huge role in the success that our team has achieved over his five years.”

So what will this the Blues basketball star miss about playing for U of T? “Teammates would probably be number one, and then the competition. I love basketball. There’s a hole in my life right now — I’m going to miss it.

“But teammates would be first; the friends I’ve made, just hanging out with those guys every day, every weekend. It was an amazing experience.”

Develop visual communication skills and strategies to inspire environmental awareness and advocacy in this new program offered on-site at the Royal Ontario Museum.

Positioned at the convergence of science and art, the Environmental Visual Communication (EVC) program is designed to fill a recognized void of individuals who possess a blend of environmental science skills and the ability to effectively communicate to a variety of audiences.

This Ontario College Graduate Certificate is offered in a compressed, intensive format from May to October and includes an 8-week summer placement in a professional working environment.

Learn about this unique program offered by Fleming College here: flemingcollege.ca/programs/environmental-visual-communication Contact: Neil Osborne | neosborn@flemingc.on.ca

JOIN US AT OUR VIRTUAL OPEN HOUSE EVC webcast on Wednesday, March 14, from 7 to 8pm Go to: flemingcollege.ca/evc-virtual-open-house

19

DIVERSIONS

20 monday, March 12, 2012

Springtime polka 1

3

2

4

5

6

by Catherine Friedman 7

9

8

14

15

16

17

18

19

21

20

29

24

35

33

39

41

40

43 47

63

49 53

50 54

56

57

64

65

66

67

68

69

70

71

Across 1.

5.

9.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

23.

27

42

48

55 62

26

45

64

51

61

13

34

44

46

12

37

36

38

60

25

32

31

30

11

22

23 28

10

Vortex Movie whale Bewildered Wolf head?

Chemistry constant, abbr.

Reef predator Yemen neighbour WB sitcom Silly Diagonally Summer sign

24.

25.

28.

31.

35.

36.

37.

38.

41.

43.

44.

45.

46.

58

Japanese veggie Bo Simple sandwich Faulkner novel Wide shoes Rage “How can repay you?”

Eager Trying Excel A Stooge Tipsy Fish n’ chips partner

59

50.

51.

52.

53.

55.

60.

64.

65.

66.

67.

68.

69.

70.

71.

Rhythm suffix Second Life time Big loan, abbr.

Genetic messenger “Wake up!”

Hank Hill’s beer of choice Unless, to a lawyer Egypt’s water polo champ, Abdel Hady Some U of T profs Gusto Sporty roof Hershey purchase UK fashion online Bubbly chocolate bar

Start your LLB in September 2012 Join the 216 Canadians studying law at the University of Leicester The School of Law is now accepting applications for its 2-year and 3-year LLB. • No prior degree required for 3-year LLB • Students with any University degree can apply for the accelerated 2-year LLB • No LSAT/LNAT A representative of the • Saturday 24th March, University of Toronto, School of Law will be Bahen Centre, 40 St. George Street, Room 1180, 2pm giving a presentation on the following dates: • Monday 26th March, University of Toronto, Bahen Centre, 40 St. George Street, Room 1180, 7pm Details of how to apply can be found at www.le.ac.uk/law/canada There are special scholarships for £3,000 available to applicants from Canada.

Contact: Beth Astington, School of Law, University of Leicester, University Road, Leicester, UK, LE1 7RH T: 011 44 116 252 5187 E: law@le.ac.uk Ref: Canada

Weekly Horoscopes

by Destiny Starr

Aries

March 21 – April 19

The stars are forecasting bizarre activity in the realm of Aries this week. Now is the time to throw out all those Tickle Me Elmo dolls you’ve been hording.

DOWN

Taurus

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

21.

22.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

32.

33.

34.

39.

40.

41.

42.

44.

47.

48.

49.

54.

55.

56.

57.

58.

59.

60.

61.

62.

63.

The proof is in the pudding. Keep this in mind the next time you procrastinate on your thesis by baking.

Furry sci-fi creature Bra type “Sh**!”

Streisand film Deep stupor Chevy model Anarchy Kony 2012 topic Jake and of CollegeHumor Boatload Mexican Mrs. Caesar suffix Pirate’s approval Affirmative Singapore cosplay convention Denmark park Lacking brawn White waders Critters Devastating Pullover NY subway line Cartoonist Browne Ballot option Bank entry, Abbr.

Stephen of V for Vendetta Chit Noobs Chatterboxes LBJ successor Poem part Reddit stoner Blood line Mediocre Bologna bone Kismet Marty Feldman role Misprint Fox rival Mauna Bow “Drop line, bro.”

April 20 – May 20

Gemini

May 21 – June 20

You may have trouble concentrating this week, but rest assured that focus is on its way. Give yourself multiple high fives for motivation, and piss off some people at Robarts while you’re at it.

Cancer

June 21 – July 22

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

That’s how you feel about your sock attire this week, but don’t fret: the argyle zebra print fiasco of yesterday will soon be forgotten.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

Last Thursday, Venus and Jupiter were especially bright. Consider redecorating your place with unicorn-themed embellishments to celebrate this unique celestial omen.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22

Neptune’s passage through the sign of Virgo means you could be feeling a little blue this week. Ease the pain by eating a thousand red velvet cupcakes — they’re the opiate of the cosmos.

Libra

September 23 – October 22

You may be feeling under the weather lately, but that’s no excuse to pass out in Robarts. Someone might steal your leopard print snuggie: just think of the psychological repercussions.

Email a photo of your answers to editor@thevarsity.ca for a chance to win sweet prizes!

Scorpio

I Vant Advice

Sagittarius

with Ivana Listen School of Law

The Varsity

Dear Ivana, My vagina always smells like something crawled in there and died. But that’s not why I’m writing to you. My problem is that I don’t know how to give a good blowjob. Can you give me some pointers?

Signed, Save My Sausage Dear Save My Sausage, Depends on the make of the sausage, if you know what I mean. Uncircumcised penises are hidden away like a hotdog in a pig’s blanket.

This means that the shaft tends to be more sensitive, so get some foreskin action in there while choking the chicken. Circumcised penises tend to be less sensitive overall. To put it in a female perspective, imagine your clit rubbing against your stiff jeans all day. If that won’t kill sensitivity, then I don’t know what will.

To overcome this, make sure you pay lots of attention to the tip and suck, suck, suck. Think of the head of the penis as having the same sensitivity as your clit, so do him a favour and give it the most attention. Get some tongue in there and don’t ignore the frenulum.

Bon appetit, Ivana Got questions? Need some relationship advice?

Email Ivana at ivanalisten@thevarsity.ca

October 23 – November 21

Why wear underwear when no one knows you’re wearing it anyway?

November 22 – December 21

You’ve been rocking earth tones these days, but with new seasons come new sartorial opportunities. Throw out that camo tracksuit and hit the thrift store for some neon.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

The stars suggest a new haircut. Go straight to the source and get some help from your psychic advisor: he or she probably also cuts hair.

Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

Your prayers have been answered this week, so act fast. You’ll be able to wear socks and sandals at least three times in the next five days, and you’ll come up with a believable excuse on each occasion.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

Have you been listening to Chris Isaak’s classic song “Wicked Game” on repeat this week? So have the stars. Harness your inner ninja turtle and soon you too will be canoodling with a supermodel on the beach.