V
20. FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 2013. THE VINCENTIAN
Advice
In the wrong camp Dear George,
Hoping it is not a dream Dear George,
OpX
THANK YOU for the advice you gave me late last year; I ended up dumping the guy I had, and found me a man who has everything I was looking for. I am so happy now! He is the first man to ever give me a full body massage and bring me flowers. I feel as though I am in a dream, and I pray that I would not wake up one day to find out that none of this is true.
Dear OpX, Congratulations on finding someone who has contributed to your happiness. Some stories do have fairy-tale endings, and it appears like yours is one of them. Give it a chance and until you see otherwise. You can safely say you have found your match. George
MY BOYFRIEND finally decided to introduce me to his parents after dating for 8 months. I had asked him to take me to them before now, but he was reluctant, saying it was not the right time. I was so shocked when his mother said to him in my presence that she thought he would have chosen someone with a lighter complexion. His reply to her was that his genes were too strong for us to have dark-skinned children. For the whole time I was there, she just talked about how well off they were; how she hoped I was not in the relationship for her son’s money. My boyfriend never once spoke in my defence, and allowed his
mother to humiliate me. I told him how upset and hurt I was by his mother’s comments and his refusal to speak in my interest, and all he said was his mother never said anything that was not true, and that I should not take them to make an issue. I am not sure I am in the right camp here. Second thoughts Dear Second thoughts, Be satisfied that this
visit gave you the opportunity to see things for what they are with your boyfriend and his parents. Your friend seemed very comfortable with the way his parents treated you, and saw no reason for any objection to the ‘forward behaviour’ of his mother. Implications were made of you being a gold digger and also being the ‘wrong’ mix for their ‘colour scheme’. You cannot afford to gloss over these very important issues. It may
be less stressful to find someone who accepts you for who you are, and certainly, your boyfriend’s failure to rebut his mother’s thinking of you being a gold digger could very well mean that he also has his doubts. You may not only be in the wrong camp but hitched to the wrong camping partner. Keep your options open. George
Get a new partner Dear George,
work.
My girlfriend is Trinidadian. We have been together for 2 years. It was not a smooth ride at all, and I must admit, we argued a lot. Our latest argument was over a statement she made which she refused to take back. She said that Trinidadians are more intelligent and more superior than Vincentians. She said she knows that to be a fact, and used our relationship as her best example, trying to show how more advanced and superior she is than me, both in knowledge and skill. I argued that it is not about competing with each other, and that she had the wrong thinking which would ultimately lead to the demise of our relationship. She simply laughed me off. I am not happy in this relationship but I have been trying to make it
Tired love Dear Tired love, I am sure your girlfriend’s views are not necessarily those of all Trinidadians. Here you have someone who has practically caused you 2 years of unhappiness, and has openly voiced her opinion as to what she thinks of you and your position or usefulness in the relationship. Yet, you are bent on prolonging the agony. A good relationship gone bad may have hope of redemption ,but a bad relationship getting worse is not worth the effort. Find a partner who can value what you bring to the table. There is a lot more satisfaction there, George