by Michele Ketzmerick

OWN YOUR CRONE, FOR GODDESS’S SAKE!

“I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. ” -Andy Rooney

I was awoken at 5:25 am from a cozy deep sleep one recent frigid morning. Not just a gentle whisper, but a persistent nudge compelling me to get out of bed and write words that were tumbling loudly into my awareness. Could this not wait until daylight at least? Apparently not.

This untimely download prompted me to recognize the good the bad and the ugly associated with the often-dreaded crone years and how our perception of their onset is key to fully embracing them.

The ugly is the centuries long patriarchal history that we have read about, experienced, and continue to deeply feel in our bones, of a tortured and brutal female lineage. Before we were perceived as ugly old hags, beyond our best before date beginning at age fifty, crones were called the “Crowned Ones” and were venerated for their wisdom.

From a history of being burnt up to our present state of feeling burnt out, within the conditioning that we can never do enough and are never good enough, messages are perpetuated via social media, with constant pressure to show the world someone much different than our authentic selves.

"We were perceived as ugly old hags, beyond our best before date beginning at age fifty.

The bad or not-so-good involves being the sweaty recipient of intense hot flashes lasting ten years, and no, they aren’t welcomed power surges! They consume me, I am breathless (not in a good way), debilitated, and unable to focus on anything hourly, day and night. More gifts include lessening body hair but thriving facial hair, aching joints, sagging metabolism (and everything else), and I do not have space here (or courage) to cover the nether regions. And I was shocked recently to see in the mirror what crepe-y skin is. Even with all of that, I would never trade this phase for earlier ones. The good of the crone years is the reason.

I anticipated the fifties with dread, until I read Jean Shinoda Bolen’s Goddesses in Older Women: Archetypes in Women Over Fifty. Its message is a soothing, gentle invitation to embrace this magical phase as it introduced me to the Goddess archetypes; Metis (Practical and Intellectual Wisdom), Sophia (Mystical and Spiritual Wisdom), Hecate (Intuitive and Psychic Wisdom), and Hestia (Meditative Wisdom). Within these traits my inner crowned one emerged, and finally owning my intuitive wisdom, storytelling, writing, saying no, taking care of myself, savoring solitude, and embracing the mystic arising from deep within.

I was opened to discovering the Good News: our brains are malleable, cells changeable, and our hearts healable. Epigenetics (google it) explains how we are not our genes! We can de-condition ourselves by changing how we think, changing our environment, and in doing so, changing our lives in significant ways.

THE BAD OR NOT-SOGOOD INVOLVES BEING THE SWEATY RECIPIENT OF INTENSE HOT FLASHES LASTING TEN YEARS, AND NO, THEY AREN’T WELCOMED POWER SURGES! THEY CONSUME ME, I AM BREATHLESS (NOT IN A GOOD WAY), DEBILITATED, AND UNABLE TO FOCUS ON ANYTHING HOURLY, DAY AND NIGHT."

In these magical years, it does not matter how unenthused about the size and shape of my body. I finally have time to tune into the gentle (and sometimes not) wisdom it has to offer. It is crystal clear with this third act (and there is not a fourth), that what I put into my body equates to how long I want to stay in it. And of course, soft lighting has become a precious friend.

Insights from the Goddess archetypes that have led to a more meaningful life:

Our self worth is less about likes and more about our compassionate hearts, toward ourselves and all other sentient beings. I can lighten up a little or a lot, integrating the magic of being the interested observer of my day-to-day drama rather than being drawn into it. My suffering is increased or decreased, depending on how I choose to perceive or react to any event. Breathing consciously and being present in the moments is a vital skill. It took too many decades to learn that nourishing and nurturing myself and getting good sleep is NOT overrated! Finally, having healthy boundaries; my free time does not equate to availability. Saying no to meaningless stuff, and to things that don’t light me up, spending time with difficult people included. Saying yes to connecting with people who make me laugh and bring me peace. We can trust our inner voice, our Higher Self, whatever you want to call it. We search for our guru when it is inside of us all along, showing itself when we turn inward.

The Goddess wisdom in my crone years so far, is about embracing expanded belief systems and letting go of outdated limitations about life, death, and our true selves. I was obsessed about finding that one big thing—MY PURPOSE. Well, it’s not what you might think. My purpose of life is to LIVE. Having more fun and finding joy in the mundane, sipping gratitude and intentions with morning coffee, and at day’s end, a ritual releasing worries and frustrations with the bath water after long soothing soaks.

No matter the complexities of our crone years, whether caring for elderly parents, kids and grandchildren, or ailing partners, relationships bring deep joy and the true meaning of life. The most profound relationship though, is an inner one as we pause to listen to, and embrace, the quiet loving whisperings of our beautiful hearts.

So, text before calling, I might be busy…or resting. Probably the latter. "The most profound relationship though, is an inner one as we pause to listen to, and embrace, the quiet loving whisperings of our beautiful hearts. .

Michele lives on an acreage with her partner near Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. She is the published author of “I Married an Atheist… Thank God!” and is currently enjoying the creative expression of completing a second book, due to be published in 2022.

Since retiring in 2021 from her career as the Director of a correctional facility, she was guided by intense curiosity to seeking a deeper understanding of our selves and others, how to suffer less, how to experience peace, contentment, and joy in life. This journey led her to an intriguing new gig as she was trained and certified as a Human Design Specialist; a system that marries modalities of ancient wisdom with quantum science and genetics, an energy map of our soul’s purpose in this lifetime, highlighting our innate strengths and challenges, potential for wisdom, and our connection with others. This is a soul satisfying chapter that lights her up with gratitude and a beautiful energy of service.

Connect with Michele via FaceBook & Instagram or email m.mketzmerick@gmail.com.