Ang MacDonald

BEYOND THE MASK, THE BUBBLES AND THE W(H)INE

by Ang MacDonald

What happens when you move your self-care game beyond face masks, bubble baths and wine? What happens when you listen to your soul and body’s needs making selfcare your own? What happens when self-care isn’t just another item on your to-do list to hopefully check off at the end of the day when you FINALLY find five minutes for yourself where you can actually wash the day’s makeup off your face?

To be honest, I am seriously asking you because I am so far removed from having my self-care game on point. What I can tell you is that I am putting in the effort to get this shit figured out for myself.

Self-care, helpful self-care can be difficult to implement and seem impossible. Advertisements, social media influencers, etc. would have us believe that self-care is expensive spa days, filling a tub with bath salts or bath bombs that will “take us away” from the weightiness of the world, expensive trips with our friends or Mai Tais on a tropical beach. What I have learned, and hope to share with you, is that self-care is a returning to yourself. I have also learned there are two types of selfcare that we should practice. (I know! I thought the same things...I barely make the time to practice the one self-care I have been taught and now I am talking about practicing two different kinds. Seems unrealistic. It takes practice - um, a lot of practice - but, it is not impossible!)

So, what are those two different types of self-care? Simply put: structured and intuitive self-care.

Structured self-care is simply those things that you need to do for yourself daily, weekly, monthly. For me, that looks like walks in nature, turning on our salt lamps and “twinkle lights” in the evening for a calming, ambient glow, quietly playing some relaxing music in the evening to unwind, and, of course, my regular bedtime routine of taming curls, washing away the day, and hydrating some wrinkles. Those are my standard, daily go-to’s….most days. I aim for 80% success.

Intuitive self-care is asking yourself “what do I need right now, in this moment?” Practice self reflection. What is one thing you would love to do today? What is one thing you need to do for yourself at this moment? Try doing something that feels like fire to your soul. Not going anywhere that day? Do your hair, your make-up, put on that outfit that makes you feel like a frigging rockstar! Need a rest? Take the nap! (Moms of littles, I know this one seems far reaching right now but soon...very soon. Or...don’t be afraid to tell a friend or family member what you need and how they can help you achieve that.)

Friends, it isn’t selfish to prioritize yourself. We’ve been conditioned to give and give until there is absolutely nothing left, and when we FINALLY offer ourselves the chance for five minutes once a month, our first thought is that we are being selfish. I’m going to get loud for a second. IT! IS! NOT! SELFISH! TO! PRIORITIZE! YOURSELF! Find your center between giving and self-care.

Giving

O

Your center Self-care

Having trouble with what you can do for your self-care right now? Here are five things to keep in mind for a quick go-to. 1.Hydrate 2.Move your body 3.Go outside 4.Give yourself a loving reminder 5.Do something that brings you joy

I have made a major change in how I view and practice self-care and it all began by happenstance. I don’t recall where I read this but, somewhere in my quest to be kind to myself I saw the following:

Take a breath (or two or three) Sit with yourself for a minute. Look inward - feel where you are in the moment Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”

Several times throughout your day, give yourself a 10 second self-care check in. Here’s what that looks like:

1.

2.

3.

Allow yourself to observe what you need in that moment and then actually show up for yourself to meet that need. Remember, self-care doesn’t have to always be serious. Have fun! Random kitchen dance parties are common in my house. Lip Syncing battles to 80’s tunes with rolling pins or ladles as microphones are as well. I feel no shame in admitting that to you all.

Sometimes, and this is a frigging hard one for me, self-care is saying “no”. Confession time. I have actually had to practice this. It is not our job to be everything to everyone, to sign up for every charity event, board, committee, bake sale…. You get the idea.

For anyone who is in the same boat, here are some ways you can nicely, but firmly, say “no”:

That doesn’t work for me.

I’m choosing to _____ instead.

I’m not able to

I’m not going to make it but thanks for thinking of me.

I won’t be able to

No. (Yes, “no” is a complete sentence! This one has been tough for me - very tough.)

How can you give to yourself, family, friends, job, or community if you simply have nothing left to give? Do small, consistent acts of love and care for yourself each and every day and fill your damn cup, baby! It is time to return to yourself. So, beautiful, powerful, strong friends, grab your journal, pens, a cup of tea (or wine) and get cozy; write down some self-care affirmations. (I’ll start us off. I am worthy of the love I give outwardly. It takes time to connect to my needs. I can create balance in my life. I can ask for what I need.) Then, I suggest you complete this reflective exercise: What are 10 things about yourself (that have NOTHING to do with others) and what is a way you show up for others that you could offer to yourself? What is a tangible way for you to practice that today?

So, I’ve been a great student and learned a lot of shit about self-care what it is and what it isn’t. I am still in the process of making it a part of who I am and what I do. I believe this is a constant plight in our journeys the struggle between needing self-care and feeling selfish if we provide ourselves with that care... My hope, and intent for sharing this with you all, is to possibly help you on your own journeys. Be good to yourselves. You deserve it.

Ang MacDonald was born and raised in the Prince Albert area. This has nurtured a love of the outdoors, adventure and wide open spaces. She is going through life looking through a camera lens, with pen and paper in hand, her heart on her sleeve, and sprinkling expletives like confetti.