MAD MAY ISSUE BRACE YOURSELVES
2 the voice issue two / april 2014
EDITORIAL The Gift of Madness May is mad. One minute you are soaking up holiday freedom at the beach as your worries disappear with each Easter egg you stuff into your face, and the next you’re cowering in a corner, weeping over five essays, two presentations and a Moodle post all due in the same week. And May has only just begun. Welcome.
Editor Lara Campbell Graphic Designer Jorden Tually Assistant Editor Charlotte O’Neill
May isn’t the only time of perilous trial. Everyday has its own challenges. Maybe it’s been a tough year. It’s at these times that we scream at God, ‘Where the heck are you? Why have you left me?’
Writing Contributors Cameron Fletcher Dayn Mckay Lawson Hull Mark Singh Michael Lilikakis
Here’s an idea that knocked my socks off when I first heard it: God leads His people into challenges. Even God’s son was ‘taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it’ (Matthew 4:1, MSG). Jesus was heading into an exam from Satan himself. And you thought your Christian Studies exam was hard.
Photo Contributors Nathaniel Amuimuia (cover) The #avondalexp hashtag has reached 500+ photos! Thanks to everyone who contributed.
Why would God, the giver of all things good, make us endure terrible trials? James 1:2-3 tells us that challenges and tests are a ‘gift’ because it is under intense pressure that we build faith, character and perseverance. Like a diamond is refined under pressure, we are refined in trials.
Special Thanks Will.I.Am Grassy Head Beach Easter eggs Daylight saving (we miss you). Highly caffeinated drinks
So it’s okay. You’ll make it. To help you through this time of trial, The Voice is here as your source of procrastination, offering you comic relief, advice, news, wisdom and bachelor(ette)s! We spoke to Avondale’s very own star on the rise, Em Rex, Michael unlikes lick apps, Dayn unpacks the ritual of saying grace and Cameron takes us into the Matrix.
No Thanks Essays Christopher Pyne Temperatures under 20º Flappy Bird All-nighters Easter eggs
Here’s to May in all its madness! Lara Campbell The Voice Editor
I’m keen to hear your thoughts on this issue. Facebook message us some feedback and you could win a $50 Pauly’s Pizza voucher. Simple.
The views and opinions expressed in The Voice are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of Avondale College of Higher Education.
13_ ‘BLESS THIS FOOD’: GRATEFUL GRACE
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08_ PICK, LICK AND
President’s Piece
FLICK: THE RISE OF THE HOOKUP APP
15_ How To Become a Lecturer’s Pet 16_ Emily Rex: Interview 17_ Plugged Into The Matrix
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#avondalexp Snapshots From Last Month
18_ While You Were Sleeping
06_ The Bachelor{ette} Emily Photo Credit:Jac and Heath - Photography
the voice issue three / may 2014
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INSIDE
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CONTRIBUTOR CORNER Lawson Hull Likes to pour liquid out his dorm window for fun times. (Page. 5)
Mark Singh Is an expert on making Mi Goreng and he can burp the alphabet. (Page. 6 & 7)
Michael Lilikakis Knows nothing about Nucular Fizzix and used to play for Wallaroo FC (ask him about it). (Page. 8 & 9)
Dayn Mckay Considers himself to be the most attractive man on campus. And the most humble. (Page. 13)
Emily Rex Recognise this face? Our favourite secretary featured on The Voice last week! (Page. 16)
PRESIDENT’S PIECE When Jesus said that He’d give us the waters of life, did He mean coffee? If you’re anything like me, May means assignment month – thousands of words to write, lots of late nights, assignments submitted mere minutes before the deadline. Sleep becomes a luxury, rather than a necessity. You may not study maths, but every College student knows the equation: Coffee + 12 Hours = Finished Assignment. It’s scientific fact, or something. A verse that’s been on my mind lately is the words of Jesus in John 16:33, “In this world you will have troubles. But take heart – I have overcome the world.” I have 3,000 words to write by the end of this week, but I’m not worried; the same God who is the reason I’m at College will give me the ability to keep on top of it all, because he’s done the same in the past. If you’re in the same position, don’t let life and busyness get you down. Take time out to smell the roses. And when the burdens of life get too heavy to carry, know that there’s always Someone willing to carry it for you.
Hates people stealing his food and aspires to eat a member of an endangered species.
Cameron Fletcher Has a passion for Arnott’s Mint Slice thats almost as big as his passion for soccer. (Page. 17)
Mitchell Strahan Student President
5 What is your top tip for those about to embark on their first prac/placement? Be confident and believe in yourself, teaching is easier than you think. And don’t wear a trench coat and offer children lollies; it’s generally frowned upon. Jaemi Costigan
Fake it ’til you make it. But not just that— get involved with everything you possibly can. Don’t sit in the classroom or staff room, get out there! It’s what you make of it! Jordan Hutchinson
Don’t laugh along with the students when they tell dirty jokes… Get out of teaching while you can! Bentley Fulcher
Find out your prac supervisor’s favourite chocolate, and buy them a stack load (especially if its a woman). It can make the difference from a P to a HD. And love the kids, because you may be the only Jesus that they get to see in their lives. Brooke Davidson
Don’t try to be someone else. Someone else isn’t the person you are trying to develop for future employment. Be the someone else others want to be. Glendon Harris Young children will go out of their way to impress you. Make sure you acknowledge them. You may be the only positive person in their life at that present time. Tegan Arthur Brush your teeth before you put your tie on. Josh Stothers Prayer. Travis Townend
Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit. Don’t get so caught up on classroom/behaviour management— laugh a little with your class. But know when to draw the line. Dat Nguyen Make sure you have back up material in case the lesson doesn’t go how you expected and you finish 20 minute early.... Get to know the students, it makes teaching them so much enjoyable. Zac Redman
the voice issue three / may 2014
VOX POP
the voice issue two / april 2014
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INTERVIEW_
THE BACHELOR{ETTE} Seen these fresh faces before? Say ‘Hello’ to these single-and -ready-to-mingle first-years.
Johanna Kingston
n. Pocket-size fun.
Describe yourself in three words. Fantabulous, frizzy, frenetic.
What did you want to be when you were in primary school? Alive.
What are your hobbies? Making music, playing games and creating in the kitchen.
Would you ever consider becoming a cougar (dating a guy ten years younger than you) ? Sometimes I think I could date an immature child, but then I think... “mmm, better not!”
What is your biggest fear? Baldness. What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship? God and chemistry. Who is your celebrity crush? Mr Bean - he’s got the moves! What is something about you that not many people know? I’m over five feet tall! The Orana has recently been realeased. Name the top three most attractive girls depending on their Orana photo. Kirsten Hughes, Sophia Husband and Andrea Jones are pretty darn fine! Would you rather: 1. Wash up the dishes, or, 2. Dry and put the dishes away? Probably wash the dishes, that way I finish first.
n. Single. Call. Me. the voice issue three / may 2014
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Callum Thomas
Would you date a girl ten years older than you? No thank you, she would want a baby and kids and children and stuff. I’m way too irresponsible to look after a mini me. What are your hobbies? I enjoy basketball, contemplating life and marveling at God’s beautiful creations: women. What did you want to be when you were in primary school? Just the cliché fireman, I was a boring child.
What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship? If I knew the answer to this question, I wouldn’t be so very single. What is your biggest fear? Laughing at a joke I didn’t understand and then someone asking me to explain it to them. Seriously, so scary. Who is your celebrity crush? In my opinion, celebrity crushes are so stupid! Why idolise someone you will never meet and is probably a terrible person? (Jokes, Ariana Grande is perf).
What is something about you that not many people know? Most people look at me and think, ‘Wow, that’s a really muscular guy.’ But the truth is that I don’t actually go to the gym. God just blessed me with this body. The Orana has recently been released. Name the top three most attractive boys depending on their Orana photo. Kenny Lozada, Bentley Fulcher and Jared Poland. What? They’re single? Would you rather: 1. Wash up the dishes, or, 2. Dry and put the dishes away? I think you might have got my question mixed up with the Bachelorette’s question. Why would a guy be in the kitchen? interviews by. Mark Singh (the Love Doctor)
the voice issue two / april 2014
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FEATURE_
PICK, LICK AND FLICK:
THE RISE OF THE HOOK-UP APP
There’s an app for anything. But some things really don’t need an app. Michael shares his thoughts on the recent developments of the ‘hook-up’ app. by. Michael Lilikakis
It’s hard to establish the exact tipping point at which hook-up apps made their transition from cheeky and cheerful to straight up disgusting, but that time has come, and it’s pretty unpleasant.
tion on intimacy? The mind boggles. Paul counsels us in 1 Cor 7:1 “…it is good for a man not to touch a woman” (NKJV). But the context doesn’t imply getting freaky with your not-so-smartphone.
Gone are the days of randy singles excitedly replacing their drunk dials with a hasty swipe ‘n’ meet, and in their place, a range of increasingly ridiculous sex sites encouraging phone licking, threesome engineering and auto-messaging girls sweet nothings (because writing the text yourself would be too hard). Is this something becoming an endemic of GenY. A lick app? Seriously?! As if there wasn’t enough garbage to contend with already in cyber land.
Only time will tell if we could be thanking “Lick This” for creating a new generation of ready-trained perverts but perhaps the strangest thing about the rapid advent of hook-up apps is how little success they seem to yield. A plethora of studies in the past few years have shown that young people are having less sex than ever before, so isn’t developing increasingly peculiar apps that promise much but deliver little only exacerbating this?
If you’re a sceptic like me, this entire process sounds like one massive shake of the head from start to finish. How exactly how does simulating oral on one’s bacteria-ridden cell magically induce a meaningful conversation about the effects of virtual communica-
There are so many marvellous aspects of our insta-generation, but it’s criminal what they’re doing to romance. This gen can’t wait for things to happen quick enough. Over 100 million people have tried online dating in some form, but these apps surely need to imbue some element of distinction into
9 make it creative / novermber 2015
how they operate. Sure, there may be some success stories (less than 3%), which end up with real romance, engagement and marriage. The gimmicky stuff might well get a laugh or two, but as for setting up successful sexytime/actual relationships? I’m definitely not persuaded. Right, so it promotes tet-a-tet communiqué by the dude not communicating at all? For real? If your interest in a lass can’t reach the point where thou canst even invoke a trickle of thine verbatim to text her, then tut-tut, thou art a fool with much folly. There’s no denying that what first spawned apps of this ilk was a radical new way of approaching the dating game, but these latest developments seem to be bizarre smokescreens for the fact that niche
offshoots just don’t really work. If people need to lick their phone and then send an automated message off it in order to have a chance with the opposite sex, I think we might have a problem. The essence resides in what your intentions are. I just don’t see these apps designed for a ‘wholesome’ relationship with a view to marriage. Look, I’m happily married with four minions and an empire to boot. I could easily suggest that you could be so lucky, but the truth is luck had nothing to do with it. I came from a generation where we actually made time to chill out, without texting a bazillion times, “Where R U?” to reply, “On the way.” You got there, when you got there. Relationships were defined by face value, not
FB value. Credentials were not essentials, as long as you knew how to be chivalrous. Dudes be having issues getting their head around that one, and ladies, well... let’s just say ‘bad boys’ end up underneath the knight in shining armour’s horse hooves. Sexting and ‘hook-up’ apps? Y’all are heading for a massive delete.
the voice issue two / april 2014
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PHOTOGRAPHY_
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- The Outdoor Rec crew doing fun stuff while we do essays!
11 the voice issue three / may 2014
- Avondale Basketball Association in fine form.
- Good vibes at NNSW Big Camp over Easter.
- The Avondale Students’ Association (ASA) 2014
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‘BLESS THIS FOOD’: GRATEFUL GRACE What is the point in saying grace? What does it mean? Dayn discovers there’s more to grace than blessing food. by. Dayn McKay
I’m a bad Christian. At least I feel that way when I’m eating at the Caf and the person opposite me bows their head and says grace. You’ll rarely see me do this and it seems that I’m part of the majority. Apart from being an overtly pious act, I’m unsure of a few things when it comes to grace. How long to go for? I can talk pretty fast in my head so a glance down at my food and a blink might be enough. A more difficult question is: ‘What should I say?’ It’s always been a challenge for me and I don’t like saying grace for large groups as I feel there is an unspoken pressure to ‘perform’. I never get the words right. For the past decade my dad has made me say a lengthy grace in the form of a rhyme. Every time. I hate it. In the off chance he forgets, I try and keep the grace as short and simple as possible. Kind of like what most of us might say to ourselves at the Caf. Here are a few short phrases a lot of people include. “Thank you for the food” or “May the Lord make us truly thankful”. Most of us probably aren’t ‘truly thankful’, but asking God to make us thankful is risky. He might respond.
“Bless it to our bodies” or “May it strengthen our bodies” They’re good ones. But I think some people are having a joke when you see what they’re about to put in their mouths. “Bless the food” or “Bless the hands that prepared it.” Asking God to pour out divine favour on food seems pointless. Maybe just request ‘divine flavour’. Sorry. My sister always says the latter when she cooks. It’s a rather eloquent grace but also rather pointless. We need to start acting out our grace – not just praying it. Show thankfulness by not wasting food – complaint is the opposite of gratitude. Don’t ask God to make you healthy while only eating donuts – we all know which food is rubbish. We are blessed so that we can be a blessing – use the blessing of food to bless the ‘preparer’ and everyone. That’s what I call grace.
the voice issue three / may 2014
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FEATURE_
the voice issue two / april 2014
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HOW TO BECOME A LECTURER’S PET It’s Mad May, and those assignments aren’t getting in with the punctuality/quality they need. Maybe it’s time to change tack. The editors share some tips that could turn your P into a HD. by. Lara Campbell and Charlotte O’Neill
Laugh at all their jokes. Quality of sense of humour is irrelevant here. Make them feel funny. Hilarious even. They will begin to resonate with you. They will begin to look at you for confirmation that they are funny. You win. Turn up to class early/stay after class. Class! You love it, crave it and dream about it every night, right? Ask them about their academic writings. And appear interested/awake. When writing essays, use their writings as a resource. Cite them. Email them. Flood their inbox with clarification of class work, any links that may interest them and funny pictures of your cat. ‘Check up’ on work you’ve just received. A good starting line I would use is, ‘Just to clarify…’. This implies that you know your stuff but you’re just clarifying. Also send them things in the media/ trivia that relates to class work. Email them if you’re not going to be at class on time. Just keep up that line of communication.
Hand in your work early. Preferably with a note apologising for it not being even earlier. The power of the ‘mmhmm’. It is a subtle way of letting your lecturer know you’re really into what they’re saying. Use it well. And not at the wrong time. That could be awkward. The Nod. The ‘mmhmm’ can be followed by or used alongside the nod. Slightly tilt your head, look discerning, and nod. This screams, ‘you’re wise. I’m following’. Follow them on social media. Like their posts. Share their posts. Add links to their posts. This shows that you support them as a person. Be self-deprecating. But not too self-deprecating. Allow your humility to shine through your knowledge. They are, after all, the lecturer— and your infinitely superior. And if all of these fail, maybe just make your assignments decent and get them in on time. That might work too.
the voice issue three / may 2014
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FEATURE_
the voice issue two / april 2014
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INTERVIEW_
EMILY REX Avondale’s favourite secretary and now Cooranbong’s most recent claim to fame since Ellen White, Emily Rex (Kilgour) sang in last week’s ‘Blind Auditions’ of The Voice (the TV show, not us). Go Emily! #TeamWill by. Jorden Tually
What was going through your head before you went on stage? Before I went on stage I was worried about wanting to do my best with the song because I wanted to do it justice. Also to make a good first impression to the people that weren’t even looking at me [the judges]. So it was really really nerve-racking. I was also kind of scared that everyone was going to see my heartbeat because I was so nervous. Did you expect to get three chairs to turn? Not at all. I went out there just to do my best and if the judges didn’t turn that was fine. But the fact that three chairs did turn around was just so crazy and humbling because they [the judges] are all so amazing in their own rights. What they have achieved in their lives and the fact that they turned around because they liked my voice is just amazing! It’s awesome. What is being behind the scenes like? Any insider info? Behind the scenes is pretty much a stage and a big factory, they take care of you pretty well and they treat you like you are more special which is nice.
Why did you pick Will.I.Am? Was he always going to be your first choice? I actually had Ricky as my first choice because in previous seasons I really enjoyed the way he interacted and actually coached the people on his team. But I think in the long run it was better to go with Will — the fact that he turned around first and seemed so mesmerised in the performance and I felt like he really wanted to have me on his team. How confident were you that you’d get to this stage? I didn’t really think about whether or not I was going to get through—I was just thinking about doing the best I could do at that moment. I didn’t go in there thinking ‘Yeah I am going to go to the next stage!’ I was thinking I am going to do my best and if I give it to God because He can really help me out with that. I really believe in God and in someway He might believe in me too. What do you think of TV show The Voice show’s hijacking of the long established name of Avondale’s student magazine? I think that there is an insider here and they thought that whoever thought of The Voice is a genius and decided to take it on. So there needs to be some copyright and some suing going on!
Support Em! Follow her online at www.facebook.com/EmilyRexMusic
PLUGGED INTO THE MATRIX What is continual use of technology doing to our minds? Cameron shares his wisdom. by. Cameron Fletcher
While far from being a technophobe, I’ve become increasingly reactionary towards tech and multimedia taking over my reality. Social media, movies, computer games, the internet: all things that can be useful or good in and of themselves, but they have a tendency to siphon time and mental resources away from the tasks and relationships at hand. The Digital Invasion by Archibald Hart and Sylvia Frejd states that if we do not establish boundaries with the digital world, we inevitably allow it to take over. The digital world is stimulating it’s designed to draw you in, and to keep you coming back. But is the pursuit of pleasure leaving us numb? By constantly overloading the “pleasure system” of the brain with TV shows, computer games, movies, Facebook, Youtube etc, we inevitably reach a state of anhedonia (the inability to feel pleasure in the simple/ordinary things of life). In this state, only big hits or a constant barrage of stimuli will give us that dopamine rush we desire. I recently tried a tech-fast for 24-hours. No phone, no tablet, no laptop, no iMac, no TV. It’s insane the amount of times I
felt the impulse to reach for my phone or my laptop - and it was only 24-hours! I ended up reading a book, playing a board game, relaxing, and going to bed early. The empty time gave me space to slow down and reconsider my path. I realised I must be an addict. While I can’t unplug myself for more than a few days due to Moodle, Logos, online services and other commitments, I’ve decided that in order to prevent myself from seamlessly merging into the digital world I need to construct better boundaries. The Apostle Paul realised the compulsive and addictive nature of various behaviours in his reply to the Corinthians who believed that “all things are permissible” - probably to the excess. His stance is straightforward: “I will not be brought under the control of anything.” The implication is that even inconsequential matters can become consequential if we allow them to change the direction of our lives or take control of us. Feeling trapped in the Matrix? Try unplugging.
the voice issue three / may 2014
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FEATURE_
the voice issue two / april 2014
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ARTICLE_
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING Charlotte is useless with a GoPro, dislikes animals inside the house and is now betrothed (Zeke put a ring on it!). Woohoo! by. Charlotte O’Neill
“I don’t know who threw the banana but I want to thank him. It gave me the energy to put two more crosses in for our goal.” Brazilian soccer player, Dani Alves, reflects on a recent game for Barcelona when a racist fan threw a banana at him as he was about to take a corner kick. Rather than reacting angrily, he calmly picked it up, peeled it and took a bite before resuming play. International footballers have since flocked to social media in support of Alves by posting selfies with bananas.
“I do think there is capacity for students to contribute more to their own education” Christopher Pyne, Minister for Education. The Commission of Audit recommended that student fee payments should rise from 40% to 55%, and that graduates should begin to make fee repayments once they earn an income of $32,000 a year (rather than the current $51,000 threshold).
“The aliens are coming”. Fears of extraterrestrial activity or espionage have entranced the Internet for the past week after ‘Webdriver Torso’ began uploading his identical YouTube clips. Each of the videos follows the same pattern—short 10-second clips with the same visual appearance. Despite various interpretations ranging from alien intervention to spy tacticians, the videos have been the result of a company testing the
“It’s war, civil war”. - Fatima Popura, mother of 17-year-old Vadim, who was one of dozens killed in a fire during violent clashes in the southern Ukrainian city of Odessa. The Crimean Peninsula is still embroiled in a bitter power struggle after Ukraine accused Russia of invading the pro-Russian peninsula. The current death toll stands at over 46 and is expected to rise as the conflict intensifies.
Cat ladies nod in approval, as massive statue of beloved cat is unveiled. The statue has been erected in the Scottish town of St Andrews, and features the local cat celebrity, 14-year-old ginger stray Hamish McHamish. The community raised over $8000 to immortalise their favourite feline, who has become the town’s mascot. “Our statue is a way of saying thank you to Hamish for being so ‘purrfectly’ adorable and to celebrate him and the joy he brings us,” says the leader of the fundraiser, Flora Selwyn.
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“ARMS BUILDUP / BUYS PLANE / WORLD IS FUKT” The ANZAC edition of the Australian Financial Review, fraught with errors, is being sold on eBay for up to $49. The mistakes have also led to the hashtag #worldisfukt going viral. The Financial Review editor apologised amidst attempts to remove the issue in such high demand from circulation.
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