The Illusion of 'That Girl'

Sarah Tucker

“That girl ” We all know one We all hate one We all secretly want to be one.

You know the type The #vegan #vanlife #minimalist #surfy #nomadic #clean #morningroutine #matchasmoohie #pilates. Yes, THAT girl

If you are still unsure, let me be more specific. She’s the girl who wakes up at 4am, makes her bed, journals, drinks a green juice, and puts on her ‘the ordinary’ skincare (probably influenced by TikTok), all before strapping on her ankle weights to go on her ‘hot girl walk ’ You might see her at Pilates with her duffle bag and personalised Frank Green water bottle in the shade mint breeze, or maybe she might pop up on your Instagram feed with a sponsored ‘function of beauty’ review. Recognise her now? Yes, THAT’s the one

She is all over TikTok and Instagram, but how many do you actually know in real life? In such a disturbed world, is it really possible to lead a ‘clean girl’ life? Or is it all an illusion? A public façade?

My curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to actually BE my own version of the ‘that girl.’ After spending an unspeakable amount of hours down a YouTube rabbit hole, watching pretty much every morning routine video ever created, learning all about decision fatigue* and the art of minimalism**, I finally devised my own plan that went a little something like this;

5am – Wake up. Self-care activities including skincare, moody lights, make a chai tea and get dressed into gym clothes (laid out the night before of course!)

5:15am – Journal / devotional

5:45am – Weights at the gym.

6:15am – Walk the dogs.

6:45am – Shower and get ready for the day

7:15am – Breakfast, eaten slowly and intentionally, preferably outside in the morning sunshine.

Now have a productive day, ensuring I drink lots of water, eat nutritiously at similar meal times and go to bed early

Now after I had meticulously planned out my life, it was time to put this into practice. For the first few days, my plan went well This routine was exciting, and I did feel a sense of cleanliness and calm. But after a week, I was done My muscles hurt and I was exhausted While the content was vibey, the vibes were off. Something I was not expecting from this experiment in selfimprovement was for my mental health to turn toxic. My self esteem began to degrade as I couldn’t keep up with the girls I was influenced by online

By tracking every minute of my day, it didn’t leave any spare time for life to take place. I was met with the decision to either have immense guilt in participating in the spontaneous and break my rituals or miss out on experiences altogether for the sake of not breaking routine. The pressure was mounting as I tried to hold myself to an unachievable standard. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t stick to my routine as the girls on social media never showed any low energy days

While the idea of maximising productivity seems positive, the idea of having no time to waste puts undue pressure on us, inhibiting us from actually enjoying our time on this earth As well as promoting toxic productivity, the that girl lifestyle engages in meaningless consumption of brands

In almost every video, an attractive, young Caucasian female is seen shopping at high end grocers and wearing branded athleisure. What most consumers don’t realise, is that while half of the trend is healthy living, the other half of the ‘that girl’ lifestyle is actually focused on capturing and creating content of their lives, leading to an obsession with the aesthetic more than engaging in the present

Originally, the idea began with woman sharing healthy lifestyle tips online, but trends soon emerged where the girls began to have the same look and the routines became more similarly structured While none of the individual habits are inherently bad, the meticulously curated routines are not sustainable and leave people, like myself, feeling overwhelmed when we can’t keep up with the high standards the trend dictates

Like many women, I was initially inspired but quickly discouraged Some reports go so far as to blame the ‘that girl’ lifestyle for contributing to disturbed eating habits and exercise obsession

Living in this technological age, we must be careful on what we consume as now it’s not just unrealistic beauty standards that we must compete with, but unrealistic lifestyle standards too.

So, is it all bad?

Most ‘that girl’ tutorials are not meant to harm, so while it is good to be conscious of the things we regularly consume, and aim to create balance in every aspect, the ‘that girl’ life can have positive influence.

By keeping in mind that what we view online is a highlight reel of what people want us to see, we can learn something from those who are dedicated from 5 – 9 before the mundane 9 –

I constantly have to remind myself of the clique that life is a journey, and I will never reach a time when I feel completed as we as humans are constantly growing, changing and evolving Sometimes life is unpredictable, so we have to roll with the punches.

"That girl.” Deep down, everyone wants to live like her. Chasing happiness and success is an innate desire within all of us In saying this, while we will take all the dopamine we can get, we must understand that her lifestyle is not sustainable nor realistic

The main summary of the ‘that girl’ lifestyle is productivity, and by having a productive morning routine, we can better ease into the flow of productivity for the rest of our day

In my personal experiment, I went too hard too quickly, and caused myself burnout from all the habits I don’t usually engage in

I still plan to absorb these habits in my daily life, yet by developing my routine slowly and intentionally, I am far more likely to succeed long term.

It is only through long term dedication, sacrifice, and effort that holistic wellbeing can be achieved, and unlike the “that girl” lifestyle, it is by slowly installing habits, developing a flexible routine that we can commit to 95% of the time, allowing life to happen in the midst of it.