The Wedding Guide (Yorkshire and North East England Edition) Autumn/Winter 2011

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Congratulations

Image courtesy of Impression Bridal

How exciting, you’re engaged! Congratulations from all the team at The Wedding Guide at Lewis Tanfield Publishing and welcome to this latest edition which is packed with lots of advice, articles, fabulous recommended suppliers, real wedding features and pages of pretty things to inspire you! The guide is designed to help you find everything you need to plan your dream wedding. Our recommended suppliers will assist you every step of the way, making sure your special day is one you’ll cherish forever. Don’t forget to check out our handy Wedding Fayre Diary which you’ll find on pages 164-167 – great for planning your weekends around! We have undergone a makeover since our last edition and we hope you love the new look and layout as much as we do.

Liz x

Happy planning!

Liz Clark, Editor & Publisher

The Wedding Guide Autumn/Winter 2011 Published and distributed by Lewis Tanfield Publishing, 3a Rosecomb Way, Haxby, York YO32 3ET Telephone: 01904 761525 Email: liz@theweddingguideuk.com Web: www.theweddingguideuk.com Design & Production: Neil Rees for Sunrise Design for Publishing Additional Design: Glyn Lacey With special thanks to Tim, Nicola & Andrew Clark. Front cover image: Crash Taylor www.crashtaylor.com © 2011 Bridal Media Limited. No material including images, text and design work, contained in The Wedding Guide may be reproduced in whole or in part without the written consent of Bridal Media Limited.

2 THE WEDDING GUIDE

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In this edition A-Z of Wedding Suppliers

10–27

Arranging the ceremony Civil or Church

62

Helping with your arrangements Attendants’ Duties Cars and Carriages Finishing Touches Flowers Photography Stationery and Favours Wedding Planner Videography Rings

158 148 104 57 116 102 167–171 136 140

His The Groom Speeches

50 52

Hers Health and Beauty The Dress Fashion Pages

53 28 34

The Reception Choosing Your Reception Venue Music and Entertainment Venue Decoration Wedding Fayre Diary Real Weddings

70 96 92 164–166 126, 130, and 132

126

40

140

154

112

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6 THE WEDDING GUIDE

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The Dress Once the initial excitement of your engagement is over, one of the first things you will probably picture when dreaming of your big day is your wedding dress. Your dress is one of the most important wedding items that you will purchase and on the day all eyes will be on you and your gown. Make sure you take enough time to choose one that really suits you and gives you that perfect shape so you look and feel wonderful on your special day. Looking

Images courtesy of www.maggiesottero.com

great o wedding n your da being ra y means d relaxed a iant and n look and d how you feel in yo ur dress is a k e y element to this.

Remember that you will be standing, walking and dancing throughout the day and evening so your dress should not only look fabulous but should also feel comfortable. With so many choices for your dress, it can be an overwhelming task but remember that shopping for the dress of your dreams should be fun, easy and painless! Before you start, think about what type of dress you are looking for. Wedding dresses are made in several different silhouettes such as the ball gown, empire line, fishtail and ballerina style to name a few. It is important that you know which type of gown will flatter your figure the best. Look at your body shape and be honest with yourself. Consider the features you want to show off and those you want to hide. Here is a rundown of the different wedding dress silhouettes available. 28 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

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Avoid halter-necks if you are pear shaped as it really will make your bottom look bigger!

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Ball Gowns – One of the most traditional shapes of wedding dress which gives the princess look. The ball gown has a fitted waist with a full, puffed out and layered skirt. This style of dress is best suited to slim brides as it adds curves. For those with a pear shape look, the skirt does wonders to flatter the waist line. It is not ideal for petite women as the fullness of the skirt can be overwhelming to the small frame. A-lines – Usually have a fitted bodice with a skirt that flares gently from the waist to form an "A" shape. They are a terrific choice for someone who would like to hide lower body flaws, but avoid adding too much fussy detailing to your skirt as this will make you look bottom heavy. For those with a slim torso and tiny waist, choose a bodice with detailing on the bust to give more of an even proportion. Ballerina Wedding Dress – The full skirt of the Ballerina dress will give a bride with slim hips and a full bust that fairytale, romantic look. Avoid this style if you are petite as you may look like you are disappearing into this style of dress. The full skirt also makes wide hips appear much bigger. Asymmetrical Wedding Dress – A particularly striking and unusual looking style, the asymmetric design can show off beautiful and toned shoulders to their best and gives that extra help in obtaining that ‘nipped in waist’ look. The asymmetrical dress will divert attention from bigger bottoms to your upper body and if the wearer is on the curvy side the full skirt will balance their shape. To help hide those fuller hips this style of dress can be a godsend. This asymmetric strap design will distract from square shoulders and give them that softer look.

Dress styles left to right: Asymmetrical, Ballgown, Mermaid/Fishtail, and Sheath

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Dress styles clockwise from far left: A Line, Ballerina, Empress, Halter Neck, and Column

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Sheath Dresses – This style suits those who are slim, have narrow hips and a balanced figure. This gown will not hide any flaws so if you think your thighs or bottom are too big, this is not the dress for you. Whilst there are some stunning dresses available in this style, you don't want to risk being uncomfortable or self conscious on your wedding day so choose wisely. Empire Waist Gowns – This style of dress is usually straighter than the A-lines without being too figure hugging. The waistline starts just underneath the bust with a seam which falls away to the floor, giving the wearer that ultimate romantic poise. For those with smaller breasts this gown works wonders while the long ‘A’ line gives the more petite bride the appearance of added height. Another advantage of this style of dress is it helps to conceal wide hips. Empire waist gowns are usually made of light, flowing fabric. They are also excellent for pregnant brides, because they provide extra room in the waist, making them a comfortable choice. 30 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

Column Wedding Dress – This sleek modern line is very straight and seamed on the waistline. It can be quite figure-hugging and would suit the slim and/or taller bride. It can also be suited to the petite bride because of the unbroken line. Because of the streamlined appearance this style of dress can also be worn well by pregnant brides. This style of dress should be avoided if you have fuller hips as they will be emphasised more. Mermaid Line or Fishtail Gowns – this style is figure hugging, shaping the waist and hips before nipping in at the knees. The mermaid or fishtail comes from the material at the back of the dress that begins at the top of your thighs before flaring out and opening up into the fan shape once it reaches the floor. This dress gives the ultimate sexy look and accentuates a curvaceous, all in-proportion figure. This dress is not suited to a protruding stomach or big hips. Halter Neck Wedding Dress – Athletic shapes can look great in halter-necks and will give added height to the petite shape. If you are curvy with a big bust this style of dress will make you look top heavy and can emphasise your hips. Avoid halternecks if you are pear shaped as it really will make your bottom look bigger. ♥

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Beautiful

Brides Be inspired with our Bridal Fashion pages. From simple sophistication to richly embellished silhouettes, these gowns give an elegant and feminine look. Gowns by Impression Bridal www.impressionbridal.co.uk

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Mums want to look fabulous too! As the mother of the bride or bridegroom, you have a long and exciting day ahead of you. Whilst the bride is the centre of attention, the role of the Mums is very important too and all eyes will be on you as well – just look at the press coverage Kate Middleton’s Mum got! But what better excuse is there for buying a fabulous new outfit? Before you start looking for your outfit, take some time to discuss with the bride suitable colour schemes. You are part of the bridal party and it can be nice for the photographs if you all tone in with the general colour theme of the day. The choice of styles for mothers is very varied you may decide on the subtle sophistication of a smart tailored suit or the sheer elegance of a soft flowing dress. Hats, shoes and handbags should all be chosen to complement your outfit, and work in harmony with it, along with any jewellery you choose to wear. There are a wide range of boutique shops which specialise in dressing the mother of the bride so it is well worth visiting them as they will provide invaluable help and advice. ♥

Remember, it is better to wear the style that suits you rather than what you think others expect you to wear, as you will feel far more comfortable and relaxed on the day

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Images courtesy of John Charles of London www.johncharles.co.uk

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Stunning Shoes and Luxurious Lingerie Choosing your wedding shoes There are several things you'll need to take into consideration before you buy your wedding shoes. Of course you want your shoes to be really special but one of the most important things is comfort as you’ll be on your feet for the majority of the day. There are lots of different styles of wedding shoes to choose from. From white trainers to beautiful designer Jimmy Choo shoes but before you say “I Do” to a pair of wedding shoes, take note of the following tips: • Don't sacrifice comfort for style. You will be on your feet from the moment you get dressed until your last dance – it will be a long day. • Your feet are at their largest at the end of the day. This is a good time to shop for shoes to ensure a good fit. • Choose a heel height that you are used to wearing. • Take your shoes to your wedding dress fitting so your hemline will be just the right length. • Break your shoes in by wearing them around the house before the wedding. • To make sure your shoes aren’t too slippery, gently rub the soles with a piece of sandpaper to help provide traction. • Just in case, don’t forget to put plasters in your wedding emergency kit!

• Consider the colour of your dress and choose your underwear to compliment this. • If you have a simple, fitted dress don’t choose fussy lingerie with lots of detail. • If you lose or gain weight, then the chances are this will affect your bra size, so do get measured regularly. • If your dress is backless or strapless, there is a great selection of bras now with multi-way options or designs suited to these styles. • You will want to feel glamorous and sexy on your wedding day but if your style of dress won’t allow suspenders and frilly briefs, then line up some glamorous, sexy lingerie for the wedding night! • Once you have lined up your wedding day lingerie, why not invest in some cheeky lingerie pieces for your honeymoon to surprise him!

Lingerie Your lingerie choice should, as with your shoes, be comfortable but it should also work perfectly with your dress choice. Choose something that will flatter your figure and complete your look. Top tips when choosing your lingerie: • Get yourself properly fitted to make sure you are wearing the correct bra size.

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Couture? What is

Do you want to be stylish yet different on your wedding day? Then why not visit a Couture Bridal Dress Designer who will design a gown exclusively for you. The possibilities are endless and whatever your fashion taste and personal style, a Couture wedding dress will enable you to choose a design that will match your taste and personality.

A Couture wedding dress will be made from the finest fabrics, sewn with great craftsmanship and with extreme attention to detail. The first step in the Couture process will be to book an appointment for an initial consultation. This will allow you to share your dreams with the designer. Bring to the consultation all your ideas — photographs, magazines, or simply a verbal description of what you envision. Together you will explore various options, including necklines, skirt shapes and fabrics. The designer will then work their magic, translating your ideas into a rough sketch. Once the sketch has been approved and your measurements taken, the proper work begins. The sketch becomes the pattern for the calico toile garment which is made out of a rough cotton fabric. The toile can be cut and pinned allowing all the fitting problems to be ironed out and your personal blueprint emerges. The work done at this stage reaps many benefits later on, reducing the number of alterations done on the actual fabric. Once work on the fabric begins you can expect a number of fittings as the garment evolves. You 38 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

Attention to detail with a couture dress

will be asked at this point to wear your bridal lingerie to ensure the fit is just right. Beautiful linings make sure it feels as good as it looks. And all the little details which make it uniquely yours – embroidery or beading, are gradually added. Remember, when you come to the hem fitting you will need to wear the shoes that you will be wearing on the day. It is also a good idea to take along your tiara and jewellery so you get to see the complete look. Following your final fitting, your truly unique gown will be pressed for collection – this is the last step in the wonderful Couture process before you wow your guests, leaving everyone spellbound on your special day! ♥

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Image courtesy of Impression Bridal

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Whether you have two or twenty bridesmaids, their look is an important part of the day and choosing the right dresses will help you all to feel fabulous and ooze confidence.

Know your style It may seem obvious, but you should always find your dress before you even start thinking about your bridesmaids. Once you know the style of your dress and the theme of your wedding, it is much easier to start getting ideas of how you want your bridesmaids to look and be confident that their look will fit in on the day.

Know your crowd Ask yourself this: Are my bridesmaids similar to each other? What would they be most comfortable in? You must also consider size, age, shape, style and their colouring. You want to flatter your bridesmaids and keep them happy on the day. It is important to not give them free reign but to let them know that they do have some

input into what they will be wearing. If you have young bridesmaids make sure that they will be comfortable in what you have chosen for them as a wedding can be a tiring day for the little ones.

Fabulous fabric Another important aspect of the bridesmaids’ dresses is choosing the right sort of fabric for the time of year. If you are having a summer wedding, try and opt for dresses made from lighter fabrics such as silk georgette or crepe. If your wedding is taking place in the winter, bridesmaids can experiment with layering and fabrics such as satin, organza and taffeta.

Accessorise! Don’t leave the accessories as an after thought, as these will either make or break the look. Make sure you have enough time to get the right style of headdress, shoes, earrings, necklaces etc to suit each bridesmaid. ♥ See over the page for Bridesmaids’ fashion...

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Beautiful Bridesmaids

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Changing your name Although some brides in today's modern world choose not to change their last name, the practice of adding a hyphen followed by your husband’s surname is becoming popular. Whether you decide to adopt your husband’s surname or not, to avoid problems at a later date, you should make your decision about formally changing your name as quickly as possible. This checklist should help you with all the different areas where you may need to change your name but please remember that a copy of your marriage certificate may be required. • Social Security • Bank Accounts rth • Credit Cards It’s wo ing • Dr/Dental Record practis new • Car Registration your writing re in • Passport signatu ! • Driving License e advanc • Insurance Policies • Credit Rating • Employment Records • Memberships & Subscriptions

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All that glitters Depending on your hairstyle and choice of wedding dress, a tiara or hair accessory can turn you into a sophisticated bride or a fairytale princess.

Tiaras or bridal hair accessories can complete your whole wedding look, whether you are after a pearl and diamond vintage look, a stunning oral headpiece for maximum impact or a simple, elegant headband, the options are endless. The type of headpiece that you choose will depend on your personal style and budget. You may wish to go for a unique handmade piece which can be designed to match your wedding

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dress. Or you could browse the readily available pieces in bridal shops or online where you will be totally spoiled for choice! Remember however that you will need to try the pieces on to make sure the one you choose really suits you, will compliment the hairstyle that you have chosen and works well with a veil if you are wearing one. With all the options available, traditionally shaped wire or metal tiaras, decorative hair combs or slides, fascinators and encrusted headbands, you really will be able to add that extra sparkle and glamour on your special day. ♼

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Top tips for a gorgeous groom It is very important that the outfit chosen by the groom echoes the style or colours of the bridal party. Once the bride has decided on her colour theme, it is time for the groom to decide on his attire. There are lots of different possibilities when it comes to choosing your formalwear, from tailored lounge suits to a traditional morning suit, the classic Prince Edward or the timeless frock coat. Whatever style you decide on, make sure you feel comfortable in it. The traditional morning suit is a formal jacket with long tails in black, navy, grey or brown, teamed with pin striped trousers in the same or complimentary colours. A traditional cravat can look most effective, although some men prefer a traditional formal tie to complete the look. A modern day suit can look sharp and sophisticated and is ideal for a register office wedding or for those grooms who prefer a more informal option. Lightweight summer lounge suits, worn 50 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

with an open neck shirt, offer a comfortable choice for overseas weddings in hot climates. For a modern classic, consider the Prince Edward, a three quarter length jacket with contemporary styling and available in a wider range of colours than the morning suit. ♥

Top tips when it comes to choosing your formal wear: • Specialist companies offer good advice: listen to what they say • Take time to visit them in person • Start to rule in or out certain suit styles, find what you feel comfortable in • Book as early as possible to avoid disappointment, aim for at least three months before the wedding • For those finishing touches, wear a double cuff sleeve with cufflinks and ensure your shoes are shiny.

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Speech! For those who have to make a speech on the big day (traditionally the Father of the Bride, The Best Man and The Groom), it can be a very worrying time. Will people laugh in the right places? Will I be able to get my words out? Will everyone enjoy it? If you don’t take things too seriously and speak from the heart you will be on the right track. Here are a few basic hints and tips to help you on your way... • Remember that your audience understands that the speeches are a big deal, they are warmed to the happiness of the occasion and are on your side. • Try and keep your speech short, if you go on for too long you are likely to lose people. • If you don’t feel confident memorising the speech, you could use prompt cards. Try to look around the room and engage with people rather than just looking down at the cards. • Consider the range of people in your audience as you don’t want to offend Auntie Mary! Keep it light and funny without being rude, crude or sarcastic. • Try and use a funny memory as your opening line to get a laugh – this will help relax you into the rest of the speech and grabs the attention of the guests. • Remember the correct wedding speech etiquette and don’t forget to thank the right people for all their help. • Finally, don’t panic. If the worst happens and you forget the words just start speaking from the heart and your audience will be applauding for more!

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Dazzling Smiles You may have the beautiful dress and the expensive jewellery but the best thing you can wear on your wedding day is your smile. We would all like to have perfect teeth or at least a beautiful smile especially on your big day. Unfortunately, many of us are cursed with broken, crooked or discoloured teeth. However, with recent developments in cosmetic dentistry, even the most unattractive of smiles can be given a complete makeover. Your wedding photographs should show your happiness for a lifetime and as you start planning your wedding it might be just the right time to consider cosmetic dentistry. From a few fillings to a full smile makeover, the possibilities are endless. A great Cosmetic Dentist will be able to offer you a variety of treatments that will suit your needs, including: Dental implants – if you have any missing teeth and want a replacement that looks and feels natural. Dental veneers – to correct crooked, misshapen, discoloured or chipped teeth. Dental crowns – which cover and encase the entire tooth surface, restoring it to its original shape, size and colour. Invisible braces – to straighten misaligned and crooked teeth. Typically this will take between 6 months and a year and will require regular visits. One treatment that is growing in popularity these days is teeth whitening. Now you can brighten your smile with laser whitening treatments that can lighten discoloured teeth caused by tea coffee, smoking, medication, or ageing. You'll notice the difference immediately... and so will everyone else. In addition to laser whitening there are treatments that you can perform in the comfort of your own home. Custom fitted whitening trays with a professional whitening gel enable you to continue your whitening treatment at home. The combination of the laser and home whitening can give you a dazzling new confident white smile for not only your wedding day, but for years to come. More and more people are opting for some form of cosmetic dentistry because they realise how valuable it is to have a perfect smile. An amazing smile definitely adds to the confidence of a person and there is nothing more stunning than a beautiful, confident bride in a beautiful dress with a beautiful smile. Remember, Cosmetic Dentistry is no longer just for celebrities. You can be the star on your wedding day! ♥ T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E 53

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4 months to go Find a skincare regime you can do at home – Four months before is a great time to start to clear up any skin problems and begin a new beauty routine. This would be a great time to seek advice from beauty experts to see which products suit you best.

3 months to go Other than the dress, bridal hair and makeup is one of the most important things to get right on your big day. You want to look the best you possibly can and the right hair style and makeup finishes the fabulous look and truly makes you feel amazing. Book your makeup artist and hairdresser early (at least 6 months before) to make sure they have your date free. Here’s a guide to make sure you look and feel a million dollars on the day.

Choose a reputable hairdresser – If you are considering changing the colour of your hair, now is the time to do it. This gives you the chance to either get used to the colour and if you don’t like it you have time to go back to your previous colour. This is also the time to start deciding on styles. With so many to choose from choosing the right style is crucial. A top tip would be to go to the hairdresser wearing a top similar to the style of your dress (you can do this simply by manipulating a top you already have or buying one to chop and change). This will help you visualise your hair as it will be when you are wearing your dress. You may already have a good idea of how you want your hair to look, but remember how it will look on your photos too, as this will be something you will look at forever.

2 months to go Find a beautician – This is also the best time to book a course of facials. Facials will help to deep cleanse your skin and give you that little bit of extra confidence. This is also a great time to test your fake tan and trial your makeup. A test run tan will enable you to see how the tan develops and if you are happy with the colour. You can also adapt your makeup to suit your newly tanned skin tone. It is a good idea to take a camera along and take pictures of your desired look so that it can be exactly recreated on the day.

1 month to go Now that everything is booked, start to relax – Get plenty of sleep on the weeks leading up to your wedding as well as cutting down on alcohol and drinking plenty of water. This will give you an extra boost on the day and ensure that your skin is beautiful and glowing. ♥ 56 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

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Blooming marvellous! An artistic florist will be able to suggest a range of stunning designs for your wedding bouquet and floral arrangements that complement your dress, the theme of your wedding and the ceremony venue. Make sure you are prepared for your consultation. Try to take with you samples of the fabric that will make up your dress, and colour swatches for your gown, the bridesmaids’ dresses and groom's formalwear, as the florist will need this information to help them prepare ideas of beautiful arrangements for you. The traditional colours for a bridal bouquet are ivory and white, but don't be afraid to add a hint of colour for that element of understated sophistication. The groom's buttonhole should be worn on his left lapel, and should echo the bride's bouquet. This is to celebrate the tradition of a Knight wearing his Lady's colours to display his love.

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The ushers and groomsmen should wear a slightly different flower on their lapel, but it should also feature in the main bouquet. Bridesmaids’ flowers will also differ from your bouquet, but should still coordinate with the general floral theme, as should corsages for the mothers and buttonholes for the fathers. Flowers could be selected for personal reasons, or because of what they traditionally represent, i.e. Lilies represent majesty, roses symbolise love, freesias symbolise purity, and baby's breath represents innocence. Silk flowers are becoming more popular too, enabling you to choose exquisite imitators that will last a lifetime. Buying flowers in season can save you money, so pick flowers according to the time of year and be ecofriendly too! It is always a good idea to request that your florist give you an itemised bill in advance, and make sure that you in turn supply the florist with the names, addresses, and times for delivery of your bouquet, buttonholes, corsages and floral arrangements. You'll need a number of other floral pieces for your wedding, including displays for the altar, centrepieces for reception tables, sprays for candelabra, corsages for those who assist with various reception duties, and floral "tokens" for special guests. Ask your florist for guidance. Their artistry, knowledge of wedding protocol and ability to listen to your needs will ensure that you'll get good value for your money, and have the perfect floral accents to enhance your wedding day. ♥

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Location! Location! Religious Church of England There is a lot more flexibility than previously for those couples who wish to have a religious ceremony. You can choose any church outside your parish that either you, your parents, or your grandparents have a connection with. Instead of going to the Superintendent Registrar before the ceremony, banns (a notice of the proposed marriage) can be read in the parish church of both of the partners or in the church where it has been agreed the marriage can take place. Banns must be read on three Sundays before the ceremony. www.churchofengland.org

Roman Catholic Arrangements for a wedding in a Catholic Church are always made through the priest in the parish in which you are living. Three months notice must be given to the priest. Both you and your groom must be free to marry, and one of you must have been baptised a Catholic in order to marry in a Catholic church. You will also need to visit your local superintendent registrar at your local council office to give notice of your intention to marry, and obtain your licence.www.catholicchurch.org.uk

Civil ceremonies can take place at any approved venue, which can include hotels, stately homes and castles! 62 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

Jewish Weddings

Choos the pe ing rfe venue ct for yo cerem ur ony

Jewish weddings fulfil both a religious and civil purpose, but you will still need two applications - one for your local register office and one for the religious authority under which the ceremony will take place. Marriages can take place in any synagogue, private house or other place as long as you and your partner are Jewish and the ceremony is held under the auspices of a synagogue. The marriage must be registered by the Secretary of the husband’s synagogue. www.jmc-uk.org

Other Denominations In all other religions, religious marriage ceremonies can take place but you must first give notice to the Superintendent Registrar, at your local Register Office. They will know whether the building in which the ceremony is to take place has been registered. If the building has not

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been registered, you can still have a religious ceremony, but you will also need to have a separate civil ceremony for the marriage to be valid under United Kingdom Law. If the building is registered, an authorised person must be present at the ceremony to register the marriage. They will give you a marriage certificate on receipt of the fee. If there is no authorised person, the attendance of a Registrar is necessary and this should be arranged with the Superintendent Registrar. www.adviceguide.org.uk

Civil Register Office In order to marry in a register office, both you and your partner must give notice in person to the superintendent registrar at your local council office. They will then issue you with a certificate of common notice. You will need this certificate to make a booking with the register office to get the date you want. Weddings can be booked no more than 12 months in advance.

Approved Premises Civil ceremonies can take place at any venue that has been approved for the purpose. The venue must be regularly open to the public, and open-air premises will usually need a permanently built structure in order to be approved. Visit www.direct.gov.uk to search for an approved premise in the area you wish to marry. You will need to give notice of your intention to marry to your local superintendent registrar, and contact the local register office

closest to the venue you have chosen to book a registrar to conduct the ceremony. www.direct.gov.uk

Overseas Overseas Weddings Weddings abroad are recognised as legal as long as they do not contravene UK laws. You should contact the country's embassy or consulate for advice to make sure you have the right documents and find out when you will need to provide them. A number of countries require a minimum residency period of between one and seven days before you are free to marry there. It can often be easier to have a civil ceremony in the UK followed by a blessing abroad due to the complications sometimes involved in marrying in a different country. www.fco.gov.uk

Legal Advice • You and your partner must both be at least 16 years of age. (In England and Wales, if either of you is under 18 you will need to have permission from your parents or guardian). • You must both be eligible to marry. • You must not be closely related. • The marriage must take place in legally approved premises. • The marriage must take place in front of an authorised person. • The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm. • Two witnesses must be present.

www.adviceguide.org.uk

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Choosing the right words to say can m ake all the difference to your wedding ceremony and reception. Find more Suggested Readings on page 11 8.

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Choosing your reception venue You may already have a dream wedding location in mind or you may be starting with a blank page. Either way, choosing your wedding venue is one of the ďŹ rst and most important decisions you will make.

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endless There are likely to be two parts to your wedding and where to organise, the wedding ceremony and the you choose wedding reception. You may have your heart set will help you to on a traditional Church ceremony which is still a dictate the style favourite choice for couples. If this is the case and theme of your wedding. then the reception should be planned around the The venue must be able to accommodate the Church location. You will need to consider ease of number of guests you transport for your are inviting so you guests from the Properly planned, your should have a good idea ceremony to the reception will become one of numbers before you reception venue. The of the most joyous parties start looking around. second option is a civil you will ever host Importantly the cost of wedding where your the venue must suit your ceremony and budget. Castles, country houses and stately homes reception will be held at a licensed venue. are among the locations many dream of for their When you have decided on a Church or Civil big day but consider your budget carefully. Ceremony there are certain factors to consider. Properly planned, your wedding reception will Firstly, the venue must look and feel right to you. become one of the most joyous parties you will You may have a particular style of venue in mind ever host, so remember to savour every minute for example, a Castle, a Manor House or and enjoy it! ♼ somewhere dramatic or chic. The choices are 70 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

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Making life easier with a

Wedding Co-ordinator The average bride spends 250 hours planning her dream wedding, the equivalent of six weeks full time work, trying to put together the most magical and memorable day of her life. There is real skill involved in turning that fantasy into reality and an experienced wedding co-ordinator will be able to help you realise your dreams, whether on a small or grand scale, traditional or contemporary, in a city or countryside setting. A wedding co-ordinator can save you valuable time searching for the right venue or supplier. They can reduce stress, save you money and help provide professional event co-ordination on the day. Some of the key elements of what a wedding co-ordinator can do for you are: • Help you set a realistic budget and stick to it! • Help you find a venue and secure the booking; • Deal with the suppliers including the florist, caterers, photographers, entertainment etc.; • Develop a schedule and work plan and ensure you keep track of progress; • Send out invitations for you and collate the replies; • Advise on wedding etiquette and help diffuse stressful situations, such as dealing with seating plans without offending relatives; • Deal with the hire of any outfits and ensure they are returned on time; • Advise on any new trends, suggesting creative ways to make your wedding unique; • Manage the invoices from suppliers and advise you of the final costs; • Negotiate preferential rates with suppliers; • Keep you fully informed throughout the whole process; • Supervise the wedding day to ensure everything runs to the timetable and manage the bridal party and ushers, reminding them of their responsibilities.

Save valuable time and minimise stress with a Wedding Co-ordinator

An increasingly popular choice for those brides who have planned their own wedding day is to hire an 'on-the-day' co-ordinator who can take care of the day behind the scenes. They can help with common concerns such as: • What happens on the big day? • Do I have to keep my mobile phone close by in case of an emergency? • What do I do if there are any late minute emergencies, such as the florist hasn't turned up or the venue has been dressed incorrectly? An 'on-the-day' co-ordinator can solve any problems quickly and quietly to ensure everything runs smoothly in exactly the way you want, leaving you free to enjoy your special day. ♥ T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E 89

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Giving your reception The Wow Factor When you visit a potential wedding venue there may be certain aspects that you absolutely love and some that you don’t love quite so much! If you are concerned about the decor then there is no need to worry, there are companies that can provide you with services that can transform a typical function room into a breathtaking vision that you and your guests will never forget. If you are after a dreamy, romantic atmosphere why not go for swags of tulle, clusters of white balloons and twinkling fairy lights. You can create a sophisticated, timeless look by using the same items but add in sumptuous floral arrangements and candles. Whatever look you want to create, there will be someone who can create it for you. But be mindful of the canvas you are working with. If your venue is a historic building then you don’t want to cover beautiful plush walls with 12 ft banners. So don’t fight against what you have to work with but consider your surroundings carefully and work with them.

Places you may wish to decorate: • Doorways, entrances and exits (including the driveway leading to the venue) • Walls and windows • The ceiling (particularly in a marquee) • Lighting on the dance floor • Fireplaces • Door handles and staircases • The Top Table • Guests’ tables & chairs

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You should also consider the lighting of the room. Subtle Lighting defines the mood of a space, it can create warmth, intimacy, romance and style. Tables at your reception can be brought to life with the addition of simple tea lights or tall candles mixed in with your floral arrangements. Up-lighting around a marquee or room will allow you to take control of the lighting, even during the day, transforming the atmosphere of your venue. You could even choose to match the colour of the lights to the overall colour scheme of your day. Specialist lighting can have a huge impact on your first dance, creating a truly romantic feel to capture on video. Lighting can also be used to create a simple "chill out" area where people can relax and unwind away from the disco. For even more ideas, speak to a lighting designer or your wedding planner. Be careful not to clutter the venue with too much decoration, less is usually more! A good venue decorator and lighting specialist will help and guide you make the right choices to create a stunning look so that when your guests arrive, they think WOW. ♥

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Getting it right on the night }

Popular DJs, bands and singers get booked well in advance

~

When you start considering what type of music and entertainment you would like at your wedding, you will realise that the choice is endless. Should you go for a DJ, a live singer, a band or a combination – whatever you decide make sure they are going to hit the right note to ensure you have the party of a lifetime. Arranging your wedding music really should be high priority as popular DJs, bands and singers get booked up well in advance. Ideally you should hear the DJ, singer or band before you book them to make sure they will create the right atmosphere for you and your guests. Your DJ or band should discuss with you what type of music you would like for your ďŹ rst dance and a good DJ or bandleader will gather all the guests together to make it a very special time.

For some fun and magic why not hire a Magician? Close-up magic can provide the perfect ice breaker for a wedding reception. A good magician will mingle with your guests performing a range of miracles in front of their eyes. They will move from group to group engaging guests with their magic and leave them with something shared to talk about, even if they have just met. An experienced wedding magician will know how to approach different groups or single guests, when to entertain a table, and how to work with the serving staff to help you achieve your perfect day. The magician will entertain your guests when they are left alone while you are busy with the photographer. He can provide a show for each table during the wedding breakfast, entertain on a larger scale while your reception room is being transformed from day to evening, or engage your evening 96 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

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guests on their arrival. Speak to your wedding magician about how long you would like them to stay, some will offer entertainment for a couple of hours, while others will be more flexible and offer a range of different packages designed to best suit your plans.

Why not end the evening with a magnificent fireworks display? Fireworks are becoming an increasingly popular and spectacular finale to the day's events. When deciding whether you wish to pursue this unique spectacle, there are some basic rules to follow. The venue must of course be of a suitable size, and the owner will need to give their permission. The larger the display, the larger the display area required, and a site visit with the company is essential. There are many alternative displays available, ranging from just a firework drawing to a full display and, ideally your firework company should be offering many variables and clearly setting out all the costs involved. Pictures in fireworks can be designed and personalised to the bride and groom, these can be visually stunning, last for about a minute and are a novel way to end the main show. If the noise due to large explosions is an issue, speak to the company as they should be able to offer a reduced noise display that is still colourful and spectacular. Firework displays should provide good value for money. Ask your chosen firework company to show you references from previous clients, meet with them to discuss your requirements and ask for a quote. You should also ask them to provide a copy of their insurance documents Finally, do inform your photographer/ videographer in advance about the display so they can be prepared to capture the spectacle. If they require any specialist knowledge on the filming of fireworks, the firework company should be able to assist. ♥ T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E 97

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For something completely different why not try... ...stunning Ice sculptures, a yummy chocolate fountain, a candy buffet or, for a romantic touch, release white doves? For an alternative to flowers as table centrepieces, why not consider an ice sculpture? Ice sculptures, crystal clear and hand carved, which may include engraved names and dates, are a fantastic and unique way to introduce a real wow at any wedding. Or why not include a chocolate fountain at your reception? Your guests are sure to enjoy the indulgence offered as an extra treat. Speak to suppliers about the type of chocolate they use - is it pure Belgian chocolate or is it mixed with oil? Can it be supplied in different colours or flavours? What items for dipping are included? Why not wow your guests with the latest trend in candy buffets or pick ‘n’ mix display stands. Packed full of delicious sweeties, they not only add fun and colour to the wedding reception but are a wonderful way to take people back to their childhood days and are a fantastic talking point. A gorgeous spread of candy will be set up at the reception where guests can browse and indulge their sweet tooths. The sweets will be displayed in elegant glass jars and can be used as part of the dessert or set out as a "make your own" party favour table with decorative bags that guests can take home with them. For that extra romantic touch, what better way is there to celebrate your love than releasing white doves? The dove has long been a symbol of Freedom, Love, and Peace, and is viewed worldwide as a messenger of serenity. ♥

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Your stationery can be the first indication of the theme of your wedding

Announce your wedding in style Your wedding stationery will give your guests the first hint of the style and colour theme of your wedding. You may be looking for something quite simple and contemporary, elegant and romantic or elaborate and bold – whatever you decide to go for, you won’t be disappointed with the choice available. So what items are you likely to need? Save the Date Cards – to make sure all your family and friends keep their diary free on the chosen day. Invitations – Remember that you will only need one per family but it’s always wise to order a few extra just in case. Reply Cards – these can be included with your invitations to encourage a prompt response from your guests. Order of Service – Usually you would give one to each guest at a church wedding but when thinking of numbers consider friends coming to watch who may not be invited to the day time. 102 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

Table Plan/Place Cards/Menus – can all be designed to match the colour and theme of your wedding and add that bit of luxury and formality to the event. Favours For Your Guests – Bomboniere or wedding favours have traditionally been given to wedding guests for many years. Way back in history bomboniere were small trinket boxes containing sugar cubes or delicate confections which symbolised wealth of the family. Years later the sugar cubes were replaced with 5 almonds which symbolised fertility, wealth, longevity, health and happiness. Today, the choice for wedding favours is endless from petite boxes of chocolates to alcoholic miniatures. Becoming more popular are charity favours where you can donate money to a favourite charity on behalf of your guests. ♥

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Yummy Scrummy Cakes Wedding cakes have been a staple of a traditional British wedding since the Tudors’ first creation measuring a whopping 30” x 16”. However it wasn’t until the Victorian era that tiers where first introduced that mirror the cakes we recognise today. It is thought that a London baker took inspiration from the aptly named St Bride’s Church spire to design Queen Victoria’s wedding cake. This started a trend among the Royals who where then challenged to make bigger and better cakes every time.

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Nowadays your wedding cake can be any style, shape, flavour and colour you want

a

Traditionally, fruit cake is preferred for weddings. However nowadays wedding cakes can be any style, shape, flavour and colour you want; from lemon, vanilla sponge, chocolate, fruit or carrot cake, designs and styles can be unique and add a little extra Wow factor to the day. Some brides are even opting for hundreds of cupcakes, meringues, profiteroles in a stack or even going against all tradition and choosing a chocolate fountain. You should visit a cake designer at least 6 months before your wedding so you are aware of the choices on offer and you can gain an idea of how you want your cake to look. Most cake designers will require some details such as the number of guests, the colour of the bride’s and bridesmaids’ dresses and the colour of the flowers. On the day the cake will be delivered and set up by the confectioner, but do check if this service is included in the price. The cake’s first cut should be made by the bride and groom as this signifies their shared future together. Some couples tend to save the top tier of a rich fruit cake until the christening of their first child. Whatever you decide to go for, choosing the cake will be lots of fun! ♥

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Be inspired with all things pink! From hot pink to baby pink, these ideas will help you create a truly fabulous look.

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Cerise Foil Chocolate Hearts 500g £14.99 or 3 packs for £39.99

Hot Pink Disposable Camera £2.99

Create your own Carnival Place Tags £2.99 pack of 10 (ribbon available separately)

Emma Personalised Opposite page: Classic Gift Pack Hot Pink Ombre Effect Butterfly Table £19.99 Numbers £6.99 pack of 10 Table Number Holder £4.99 each Butterfly Place Cards for Glasses £4.99 pack of 10 Mini Birdcage Favour/Table Decoration £2.99 each (filling sold separately)

Products compliment a range available from ww.confetti.co.uk

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Have a go at the following questions. Answer them on your own, and then discuss your answers with your partner. Try to be as open and speciďŹ c as possible and concentrate on the questions that matter the most to both of you.

1. On your birthday, which best describes your partner’s attitude? q They forget it q They ask you what you want q They give you a surprise 2. When things go wrong, which is your partner most likely to do? q Laugh q Go quiet q Get upset 3. Which word best describes you? q Reserved q Sociable q Assertive

YOU

THE M

4. Which of you will... qq Send Christmas and birthday cards? qq Pay bills? qq Make arrangements for holidays?

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Patterns of Communication No relationship is possible without communication, and no two people are alike. It is the differences we each bring to a marriage which enrich and enliven it. When a couple communicate at a very personal level then their relationship continues to grow.

“I think I communicate well because...” (acknowledge those you agree with)

q q q q q q q q q q q q

I hold back and give you space to talk I ask you lots of questions I keep to the facts I conceal my feelings I try to help you talk about your feelings I am very open about my feelings I don't interrupt I never contradict I am honest I am flexible and ready to consider new ideas I have a sense of humour I never refer to anything disagreeable

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Time for each other Working out how we spend our time together leads to surprising results. It can sometimes help us to sit down and rethink our priorities. During last week - or a recent week - how did you spend the 168 hours? Make your best estimate for each item listed.

Meals and sleeping, including getting ready for bed Housework, preparing meals and cleaning up Going to friends or having friends over Work, training or studying, including travel time Making time to talk to each other Reading, television or social activities outside the house Now, discuss these questions with your partner: • How much of your activity is for you because you enjoy it and how much do you do for other reasons. • How much time do you spend with other people - enough, too much, far too much? • Which are the times you are at your best? • Would you want to spend this 'quality time' in another way? • How will being married make a difference to your attitude to your work? • Or your attitude to your leisure time? • What are your feelings about your partner’s work and prospects?

...and what about children? 1. What do you think is the ideal number of children for you? 2. How many children will you be able to afford? 3. Have you discussed how you will bring up your children? 4. What sort of discipline should you have? • Strict but fair • Fairly strict • Fairly relaxed • Relaxed but in control

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5. Do you see children as: • Time consuming • A financial burden • Demanding • Not for me • Enjoyable • A big responsibility • A completion of our family • Not important • A sign of our love 6. What are your feelings when you think of yourself as a parent? 7. Have you discussed when the best times to have children are?

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Who pays? Talking about the budget won’t be the most romantic conversation you’re going to have when it comes to planning your big day, but overspending isn’t very romantic either. One of the first things you need to do when you start planning your dream wedding is decide who’s paying for what. The most important thing to consider is to plan the type of wedding you can realistically afford. It is not ideal to start married life in debt. Remember, it is how you spend your money that counts, not how much you have to spend.

Traditionally, the father of the bride handled the majority of the expenses, with the groom chipping in for ceremony fees and a suitably fabulous, surprise honeymoon. But, times are changing. Many contemporary couples choose to pay for the bulk of their wedding themselves, or even to split the costs three ways – between them and both sets of parents. The question for who pays for what really comes down to who is willing and able.

A traditional breakdown of the expenses:

The Bride

The Groom

• Wedding gift for groom • Wedding ring for groom • Bridesmaids’ dresses • Gifts for Attendants • Hen Party

• Wedding gift for bride • Bride's rings • Banns, Wedding Licence and Marriage Certificate • Gifts for Best Man and Ushers • Bridal bouquet, buttonholes and corsages • Formalwear • Fees for officiating personnel

The Groom’s Family

The Bride's Family

• • • • • •

• Entire reception • Wedding gift for newlyweds • Bride's wedding outfit • Invitations and announcements • Photographs • Venue fees • Flowers • Wedding cars

Honeymoon Stag Party Wedding clothes Travelling expenses/hotel bills Wedding gift for newlyweds Shipment of wedding gifts to new home

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questions should I be asking?

What

Use our handy checklist to keep track of all the questions you should be asking your wedding suppliers.

Photographer q Do you use digital cameras or shoot on ďŹ lm? q What style of photography do you specialise

in? How many pictures will you take? Will you visit the venue before the day? How long will you stay for? Should I pay for meals and travel expenses? Who will edit the photographs? Will you retain the copyright of the images? Is someone available to take your place if you are ill? q When will I receive my photographs? q How can my family and friends view and order photographs? q q q q q q q

K Ques ey tion #

1 Can exam I see your ples of work ?

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Venue

Cake maker

q Is the venue available on the date I want? q Do you have a room that is big/small enough

q Do you have any testimonials I can see? q Can I choose from a selection of fillings? q Is it possible to sample the different cake

to accommodate my guests comfortably? q What is the distance from q

q q

q q

q

my ceremony venue? Key 2 ion # Will other weddings be e u st our Q y taking place on the Does include same day as mine? e quot added Do you provide inany es and house catering? g char AT? Is accommodation V available for guests? Will it be offered at a discounted rate? Am I able to have a marquee/fireworks/live band/ candles? Can I choose my own supplier of these services or do you have your own preferred suppliers? If I want, can I have a late bar?

fillings available? q Can I have a cake made up of different

flavoured layers? q Will you come to the venue to assemble the

cake on the day? q Does the price include a cake stand? q When does the balance need to be paid?

Florist q Are you the recommended florist of my

venue/any other venues? q How many weddings will you be doing on the

same day as mine? q Will the florist I have consulted be the person

who actually does the flowers on the day?

Caterer q Can I choose items from different menus

and packages? q Do you have any testimonials I can see? q Do you offer a menu tasting service? Will I

have to pay for it? q What does your service include? Do I need to

source my own waiting staff? q Do you provide alcohol or could I find it

cheaper myself elsewhere?

q What seasonal flowers

could you recommend Que Key for the time of year I st Can ion #3 am getting married you se in? ada rvices r pt b q Is there a my ed to s e maximum distance bud u get it you will travel to ? arrange the flowers in the venue? q Do you charge for any breakages? q How long do you need to set up?

q If I provide my own wine, how much will you

charge me for corkage?

Entertainment q Does the DJ have a versatile playlist? q Will they be able to play requests on the night

q q q q q q

or do these need to be submitted beforehand? Does the band play recorded music while they are having a break? Can the band provide a demo CD? Do you need to be included in our numbers for the caterer? Will you need a room to get changed in? How long will you need to get set up? Will you visit the venue beforehand?

Dress shop q Is there a fee to try on dresses and do I need

to make an appointment? q Will there be other girls trying on dresses at

the same time? q How long can I have an appointment for? q Is there a maximum number of dresses I

can try on? How many people can I bring with me? How much do alterations cost? How many fittings will I need to have? What do I need to bring with me, e.g. shoes, lingerie, veil etc. q Will I need to collect my dress when it is ready, or can I have it delivered? ♥ q q q q

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Photographs

forever to last

Choosing the right wedding photographer can seem daunting. There are a few key things to look out for that will help you make the right choice. You need to feel personally comfortable with your wedding photographer – they’ll be capturing your emotions and working closely with your family and friends on your special day. Some wedding photographers favour a traditional approach with others offering more contemporary images. Some photographers will be able to provide you with a combination of styles. Make sure you see examples of their relevant work to get a good feel whether they are the right choice for you. It’s important that you understand exactly what you’ll be getting from your photographer. Although many now offer straight-forward packages do not be afraid to clarify exactly what your photographer will do on the day itself and provide you with after the event. Do check you know what’s included in the price and what will cost extra. It’s worth arranging your photographer early in your planning as good photographers often get booked well in advance. To form an idea of the types of photographs you want captured take a look at as many examples as you can. Discuss this with your photographer and any friends who have recently got married. Often friends or relatives who are keen amateurs offer their services for free. Whilst it may be tempting to take them up for reasons of politeness or economy, you do not want to take risks with your precious photographs! If you want to guarantee high quality wedding photographs then you’re probably best to leave the task to the professionals. To avoid causing offence to Uncle Bob, maybe you could offer him the important role of capturing candid images of the guests through the day? ♥ 116 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

Images courtesy of fotografy

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Boudoir originally comes from the French word “Bouder” meaning “to pout or sulk”. It is also used to describe a lady’s bedroom, dressing room or private sitting room which can lead to thoughts of beautiful and elegant things. Boudoir photography involves tasteful, artistic images, in various stages of boudoir attire.

It is through Boudoir photography that a woman is made to feel good about her body and to feel confident about her appearance. Whilst paintings capture the beauty of a woman according to how the artist sees her, photography captures the woman as she is. There are so many different genres of boudoir photography ranging from vintage, burlesque, pinup and bridal boudoir. A good Boudoir photographer will work on producing intimate images that are beautifully lit, showing elegance and classic sophistication. Take time out to discover the world of Boudoir photography, where you will have fun in relaxed and comfortable surroundings, whilst producing a portfolio of images that make you look gorgeous, seductive, radiant and empowered. Boudoir shoots are a special and unique experience and an album of your shots would make a perfect present for your Groom on your wedding day – we are pretty sure he’d love it! ♥

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Helen & Michael Photography by Box of Frogs www.bof.uk.com

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How did you meet? At the local pub! What was the proposal like? Michael surprised me with a weekend away to Loch Lomund. When we arrived we went for a walk around the Loch and Michael got down on one knee and pulled out the most beautiful ring. What was the weather like on the day of your wedding? Lovely and warm. We were expecting cold weather with it being April but it was the hottest April on record! What was the main reason you picked the venue? The view! Woodhall in set within a huge valley with countryside as far as the eye can see. What were the moments that you remember most? How beautiful the weather was. Michael’s speech which made everyone howl with laughter. Also at the end of the night our friends and family asked for our favourite song to be played, they then created a huge linking circle with me and Michael in the centre and danced around us. Do you have any advice for future brides? Book people who are established and that you have a connection with as they can provide you

with contacts for other services; e.g. Paul our photographer put us in contact with our florist as he had seen her high quality of work. We hired her and the flowers were amazing. Have a prewedding photoshoot, it makes you feel so much more comfortable in front of the camera on the big day. Also don't lose sight of why you’re getting married. This will help you let the little things go and allow you to concentrate on the real reason for the day, to get married to the person you love. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Travelling around Sri Lanka. ♥ Dress: A internet company through Ebay Bridesmaids dresses: Debenhams Menswear: Moss Bross Hire Hair and Makeup: Box of Frogs 07710 704031 info@bof.uk.com Flowers: Twisted Willow 01765 602 331 Cake: Sugar on Top 07885 739387 Invitations: Create Weddings www.createweddings.co.uk Tiara: Debenhams Photography: Box of Frogs 07710 704031 info@bof.uk.com T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E 127

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Rachel & Matthew Photography by Nikki Bowling www.nikkibowling.com

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How did you meet? I’m a nurse and Matt is a pharmacist, and he came to work on my ward. What was the proposal like? We went to Portugal on holiday. On the last night we had been out for dinner and a few drinks. We then fancied a snack so went to McDonalds. We took the food back to our balcony and he asked me there!! Over a McDonalds, the best way! I just burst into tears and said ‘yes’, of course. What was the weather like on the day of your wedding? It started off nice, then as I was getting ready there were a couple of showers. When my Dad and I got into the car the sun was shining, right up until the point we turned up to the church... then the heavens opened! After the ceremony the sun was shining and stayed nice for the rest of the day. What was the main reason you picked the venue? We liked the location of the hotel, the hotel itself is beautiful and we felt the room and the surroundings were perfect for the type of wedding we wanted. What were the moments that you remember most? I remember the feeling just before I walked

down the aisle. I was petrified, but as soon as I saw Matt I totally relaxed. I’ll never forget the look he gave me when he first saw me. Do you have any advice for future brides? Try and delegate some duties to others. My family and friends were really helpful and it took a massive strain off me. It allowed me to relax and enjoy the build up and the day a lot more. Where did you go on your honeymoon? We went for a week safari in Kenya followed by 10 days in Mauritius. We booked it through trailfinders.com. ♥ Dress: Sottero and Midgley dress from Elizabeth of York 01904 658600 Bridesmaids Dresses: Coast Menswear: York Hire Wear 01904 656414 Hair and Makeup: Chief Bridesmaid Sarah Pearson did my hair and Bridesmaid Emma Green did my makeup! Flowers: Friend of the family Sheila Wiggins Cake: Marks and Spencer; my sister in law Hayley Robinson decorated it! Invitations: www.weddingcardprinters.com Tiara: Harrogate Wedding Fair Photography: Nikki Bowling www.nikkibowling.com Transport: Crest Wedding Cars 01904 608322 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E 131

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Jacqui & John Photography by Baughan Photography www.baughanphotography.co.uk

How did you meet? We went to school together, but weren’t quite childhood sweethearts! We didn’t really get on at school, John was the class clown and I found him quite annoying! But after one year at York university for me and an adventurous gap year for John, we met up in our hometown for a drink and the rest is history! What was the proposal like? In November 2009 we went on a trip of a lifetime holiday to New Zealands north island, it was a dream holiday for me and a chance for John to show me where he visited during his gap year. We stayed at the luxury hotel in the bay of islands where John had worked, we had a room overlooking the ocean & thats where John proposed...a complete surprise for me; when he asked if he could ask me question I thought he was going to ask what I wanted to do for dinner! What was the weather like on the day of your wedding? Lovely, it was fresh and warm. we didn’t get clear blue skies but it did stay lovely and bright all day & into the evening. What was the ceremony time and where was it held? The ceremony was at 1pm, in the leatham suite at Wentbridge house hotel 132 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

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Where was the reception? The reception was also at Wentbridge House Hotel, but in the gorgeous Crystal Suite. What was the main reason you picked the venue? Because they only cater for one wedding a day, if there’s one day when you want to feel important and well looked after then your wedding day is it. The staff at wentbridge are brilliant, nothing was too much trouble and our master of ceremonies, Malcolm, was an absolute star, he’d pre-empted every request we asked him, meaning we were very relaxed all day. What were the moments that you remember most? Bride: The music starting for me to walk down the aisle (acoustic everlong by the foo fighters) thats when I felt nervous, but then I walked down the aisle and saw John beaming at me which made me feel amazing. Groom: Walking into our reception room as man and wife to the applause of family & friends, I even practised my royal wave to everybody! Do you have any advice for future brides? Do everything as far in advance as possible, then by the time the wedding week comes around there is

nothing to worry about and you will have time to relax and treat yourself & your bridesmaids. Where did you go on your honeymoon? We went to Loch Lomond in Scotland immediately after the wedding, we are having our full honeymoon in November 2011 to New Zealand south island. ♥ Dress: Designed by Enzoani, purchased from the lovely ladies at Elizabeth of York. Bridesmaids Dresses: Designed by Alfred Angelo, purchased from inizi bridal in Derby. Menswear: York Hire Wear. Hair and Makeup: Bride, Bridesmaids and Mother Of The Bride’s hair done by Sammy and Alex from Moda Hairdressing of York; Makeup by Bride & Bridesmaids themselves. Flowers: Bride/bridesmaid bouquets custom designed dried flax woven flowers from Artiflax in New Zealand, all designed by email. Flowers on the tables were by Passion Flowers Florist of Upton near Pontefract. Photography: Baughan Photography.

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Capture the laughter Wedding videos and DVD productions are an excellent way of capturing your special day. Many couples will rank wedding videography much lower on their lists than other wedding day essentials - however, failing to find the cash to fund one may be a decision you regret later.

Modern wedding videos have moved on from being basic documentaries of weddings. Cameras, production software and the creativity of videographers are continually improving meaning the end products are generally very professional. Try to view as many examples of wedding videos as you can to form opinions of what the possibilities are and what you would like. When speaking to videographers it is important you speak to the actual person who will be doing the filming. Obvious questions include the cost, what will be filmed, by how many people, what 136 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

the finished video will look like and how many copies you will receive. Make sure you see some of their finished videos and the videographer understands what you want and doesn’t get too bogged down talking about the technology! So if you want to make sure the sights and sounds of your wedding day are captured in a way you'll want to watch over and over again, get a professional to do the job - just like you did with the dress, the photographer, the flowers... ♥

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The Circle of Love Your wedding ring is a public symbol of your everlasting love and commitment to each other, yet many couples will leave buying them until the very last minute. Start thinking about your wedding rings as soon as you start your planning as there are a few points to consider. Remember, they will be worn for the rest of your lives together.

Choosing the style, metal and colour Your style of wedding ring should reflect your own personal style; it should also compliment your engagement ring and can also be chosen to match your groom's ring if you wish. Wedding rings come in a variety of metals, colours and styles. When choosing rings it’s best to go for a colour or style you’re not likely to get bored with, so it’s best not to follow high fashion. Consider your personality and your engagement ring style – if your engagement ring is classic, vintage, unusual or even bespoke, then your wedding ring will probably need to match. The Ancient Egyptian belief is that a circular ring was a sign of undying, never ending love, a love without a beginning or an end. Whatever you and your groom choose, it’s nice to have rings that match in some way, either in their metal or pattern.

Make sure it fits!

If you are buying your wedding rings from a jewellers then they will measure your fingers instore to size the rings. If you choose to buy your rings online, many companies will now send out a ring measurer before you place your order so you can be sure to order the correct size. When measuring, it’s worth remembering that your fingers will swell up in the heat, shrink in the cold and get bigger as the day goes on. Most jewellers recommend measuring in the afternoon when you are warm for a snug fit and then re-measuring again in the morning when you are cool to ensure the ring size is perfect. Achieving the correct fit is vital, as nothing else you own will compete with the number of hours you will wear your wedding ring. ♥

Choosing your rings It’s best to decide on a design at least two to three months before the big day, although you will need to allow longer for a bespoke design. This should give you plenty of time for choosing, measuring, sizing and resizing if need be. Agree on your budget and then spend some time looking at what is available. Specialist wedding ring makers allow you to design your own rings and have them made – the ultimate in wearing your own individual style. A specialist ring designer and maker will be able to translate your style requirements into a unique wedding ring or rings just for you. An alternative could be personalising your rings with an engraving of the date of your wedding or a personal message. Images courtesy of www.ringworkshop.co.uk

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The Veil

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Your carriage awaits

Wedding cars have been getting brides to the church in style for years. It’s one aspect that usually stays true to tradition, with brides opting for vintage or classical cars such as a Rolls Royce, Daimler, Bentley or Limousine for transport. However, for the more adventurous bride there are other alternatives that are sure to make an impression as you pull up to the church. Other options include: Horse drawn carriage, VW Vans, Mustangs, Lamborghinis and even Beetles or Minis.

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The Car It is important to book your transport about 6 months ahead and visit car companies that are local so that they are familiar with the route and have a good idea of traffic conditions. Cars usually have white ribbons running along the front but these can be changed to match the theme of the day if you wish. The price usually includes a complementary bottle of champagne; however there may be extras, such as requested music, for an extra charge. You also need to know how many cars you will need: Which car will take you, which car will take the bridesmaids. As the bridesmaids usually arrive before the bride it is advisable to have separate cars that leave at different times.

The Carriage If you really want to go for the Wow factor on your wedding day, then a horse drawn carriage is for you. The carriages themselves can range from the classic Landau to fairytale replicas. Again, it is very important to visit the carriage company well in advance so you can view the carriages and decide what you want for the day. You must remember that the horses will have to stand still for long periods of time and traffic on the road can prove stressful for them so choose a reputable company that has good experience with horses. Finally, don’t forget that horses move much slower than cars, so make sure you leave enough time to get to the church and that the roads are suitable for the ride. ♥

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Civil Partnerships Following the Civil Partnership Act of 2004, same sex couples can now make a formal, legally recognised commitment to each other by entering into a Civil Partnership.

Civil partners will have equal treatment in a wide range of legal matters like married couples, including: • • • • • • • •

Tax, including inheritance tax Employment benefits Most state and occupational pension benefits; Income related benefits, tax credits and child support Duty to provide reasonable maintenance for your civil partner and any children of the family Ability to apply for parental responsibility for your civil partner’s child Protection from domestic violence Recognition for immigration and nationality purposes

In a similar way to traditional marriages, a couple must give notice of a proposed civil partnership to the local register office, even if they intend to register elsewhere. They can only do this once they have lived in the area for at least seven days. Each of them must give this notice in person. The notice must include where the couple wish the civil partnership registration to take place. Once notices have been given, the register office must keep information relating to the notices on public display for 15 days. This should be in both the area in which the registration is to take place and in the area in which both partners live. The registration cannot proceed until the 15-day waiting period has passed for each of the notices. This is to allow any person to make an objection in a similar way to a marriage. Once the 15-day waiting period has expired, if there are no objections to the registration of the civil partnership and no legal reasons why it 156 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

cannot go ahead, the register office must provide the couple with a legal document called a civil partnership schedule. The couple will need this in order to register a civil partnership. A civil partnership must be registered within 12 months of the first notice being recorded. If registration is not done within this time limit, they cannot register without starting the process again. Two people are regarded as having registered a civil partnership once each of them has signed the schedule or licence in front of two witnesses and the civil partnership registrar. The witnesses and registrar must also sign the document. A Civil Partnership Ceremony is similar to a traditional civil wedding, with opportunities for music and readings that are secular in nature. ♥ For further info visit www.civilpartnerships.org.uk.

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Your ‘attendants’ Chief Bridesmaid/Maid of Honour When considering who to choose to be your Chief Bridesmaid remember that you will need somebody you can rely on, who will be your rock and a shoulder to cry on in times of stress but also someone you trust to be completely honest and a good organiser (for hen night purposes!). Whether you choose your sister or a close friend, their role will start long before the wedding day and some of the duties involve: • Helping the Bride choose her dress. • Organise the hen party. • Organise an Emergency Kit for on the day (nail file, safety pins, needle & thread etc). • Attend the wedding rehearsal. • Help the Bride dress on the day and arrange the veil and train before the Bride heads off down the aisle. • Take the bouquet from the Bride during the service. • Be available for anything the Bride might need you for!

What about the Best Man? It is always an honour to be asked to be a Best Man and the role can vary depending on how much help the Groom needs. There are however certain traditional duties that should fall to the Best Man and they are: • Organise the stag party (but make sure nothing terrible happens to the Groom!) • Attend the wedding rehearsal. • Travel with the Groom to the ceremony, keep him calm and make sure he’s on time. • Take very good care of the wedding rings until they are required by the vicar/registrar. • Escort the Chief Bridesmaid down the aisle after the wedding ceremony. • The Big One – The Best Man’s Speech! 158 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

}

Their role will start long before the wedding day

~

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12 months before:

Don’t panic! There may be a huge amount to do in the run up to your big day, but our handy checklist is designed to help you through the next twelve months.

q q q q q q q q q q q q q

Choose a wedding date Decide on a budget Make a list of guests and decide on numbers Book your Church/Ceremony location Book your reception venue/caterers Send out “Save The Date” cards Choose your Bridesmaids, Ushers and Best Man Start looking for The Dress! Choose and book your photographer Choose and book your videographer Take out insurance cover Start thinking about the Honeymoon Confirm bookings in writing

8 months before: q q q q q q q

Choose bridesmaids’ dresses Choose the music, hymns and readings for the ceremony Order wedding stationery Book entertainment Choose and order your wedding cake Make an appointment with your chosen florist Select a Toastmaster

6 months before: q q q q q

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Give Notice of Marriage Purchase or hire menswear Order venue decoration/chair covers Select your wedding rings Book a make-up artist/hairdresser and arrange a trial

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q Send out your wedding invitations q Check your passport expiry date q Check if you will need visas or vaccinations for your honeymoon destination q Choose attendants’ gifts q Buy shoes, lingerie and accessories q Choose a Gift List q Order favours q Start thinking about a seating plan q Book your wedding night accommodation q Attend initial fitting for your wedding dress q Make arrangements for Hen and Stag parties q Arrange fittings for the menswear q Buy a going away outfit and honeymoon clothes q Organise a rehearsal and let relevant people know

Images courtesy of Azure

4 months before:

1 month before: q q q q

Arrange a final fitting of your wedding dress Call guests who have not responded to your invitation Buy a wedding gift for each other Arrange for a final fitting for your bridesmaids, ushers and best man and arrange when to collect the outfits q Confirm timings with the venue and all relevant suppliers q Finalise the seating plan q Enjoy your hen and stag parties!

2 Weeks Before:

q Make a note of wedding gifts as they arrive q Confirm the date and time of the rehearsal to the relevant people q Arrange to change your name if appropriate q Speak to all your suppliers to confirm details

1 week before:

q Arrange to collect your wedding dress, bridesmaids’ dresses and the menswear q Arrange for your order of service to be given to the minister q Pack for your honeymoon q Have all your beauty treatments q Book the groom a hair cut q Organise an emergency kit for on the day q Drink plenty of water and have some early nights Relax and enjoy this time – all your hard work is about to come to fruition! T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E 169

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Hen & Stag Checklist It is becoming increasingly popular for the last night of freedom to last a weekend, or even longer so make sure you discuss with the chief bridesmaid or best man what type of party you really want. • Draw up list of people to invite. • Select a town/venue that's easily accessible to everyone. • Decide on what kind of event you think would be best for the people involved. • Set the itinerary and make inquiries and provisional bookings.

172 T H E W E D D I N G G U I D E

• Don’t go too over To m the top. You every ake might like the idea of a week accor thing go d in Barcelona, be su ing to pla but not n, re yo everyone will a pla u’ve got nw want to spend sticki orth that amount of ng to time or money. If you want to do something big, stick to close friends only. • Create and send out invites. • Give out your email address and mobile number to all the guests and be available to answer queries about directions, accommodation, etc. • Pre-book everything you can and confirm in writing or by email, especially for accommodation, and reconfirm the day before. • Make sure everyone knows exactly where you're meeting eg which bar of the hotel, which entrance of the station? Give a contact number for last-minute changes. • Make sure everyone knows roughly how much the do will cost, and whether they'll be helping to cover the bride's/groom's costs. Let everyone know how and when payment is to be made. • Have a fall-back meeting place for late arrivals or people who get lost. • Think ahead about how everyone will be getting home. Do you need to arrange transport, book taxis, or send younger members of the party home earlier?

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