109 years TOWARDS AN AGRESSIVE CAMPUS PRESS | VOL. LXXXV NO. 09 | MONDAY, 05 OCTOBER 2012
LIVING STATUES. Members of the Luce Auditorium Corps of Usher and Usherettes (LACUU) and Luce Auditorium Crew (LA Crew) will replace the white statues outside the Luce Auditorium starting next semester. Two LA Crew members practice for the pose. “This will make the school one of the top tourist destinations in the country,” said SU president Been Nalaya. PHOTO BY Melissa Pal
SURE and CAUSE merge to form SAUCE SU to open Co-ed dorms Apurado: No curfew next sem
by Kriztja Marae G. Labrador
ALL 13 DORMITORIES and cottages of the university will turn into Coeducational (co-ed) dormitories next semester, said Student Housing and Residents Division head Prince-epal Apurado. These dorms will not have dormitory curfews starting next semester. Apurado said: “Due to the fact that a lot of dormers are transferring to boarding houses and apartments because of curfew time concerns, we have decided to remove the curfew rule in order to give our dormers more freedom to party and get drunk with coffee while studying at Escaňo. After all, all work and no play makes a Sillymanian a dull student. We will also turn the dorms into coed ones in order to maximize the bonding between male and female dormers.” He added that this is in line with the university’s vision to promote camaraderie, peace and unity among the university residents through joint devotions and recreational activities. “We believe that this will make the ‘Silliman Spirit’ grow,” Apurado said. For the co-ed system, the rooms of the dormitories will be alternated between male and female lodgers. “When we say co-ed, we don’t mean that both male and female dormers would live in the same room. We are still protecting the image of the university,” he said. Apurado also added that they will not be implementing the dormitory rules and regulations
anymore. Drinking and smoking will now be allowed in the dormitories. He explained the new rule: “We will now allow the residents to indulge in drinking caffeine and wearing smoking attires inside the dormitories. No more coffee limit and dress codes. The students are mature enough to take care of their palpitations. The dorm managers can participate in the fun as well. At least nobody has to hide their coffee addiction and hot fashion sense anymore.” MOONAFEEL adviser, Sir Look-sin, also agreed with the “drinking and smoking” being allowed in the dormitories. “My boys and I will now have the freedom to drink, be merry and be loud,” Look-sin said. He also added that dorm managers and advisers are tired of being strict and “killjoy” about what the dormers want to do. He is happy that Apurado listened to their concerns. “I always love drinking coffee together with my dormers; it’s better that way so that I can guide them on how to control themselves when they’re drunk. I want to teach them responsible coffee drinking habits,” Look-sin said. Moreover, Apurado said that the implementation of the no curfew time will start on Nov. 5; dormers who also want to sleep-out will not be required to ask for permission. “It’s when a butterfly comes out from its pupa that it sees the world. The dormers are pupas no more,” a smiling Apurado said.~
By Susanah Jane L. Lapa
“ONE IS BETTER than two,” said Krisya Magalones, chairperson of the Students Under Drug Reformation (SURE), sealing the merger of her party with the Conceited Action for the Underdevelopment of Students who Eat Eggs (CAUSE). The two camps are now united under the banner of SAUCE (Students Agreeing to Unite their Cravings for Eating). Since the early days of the university, the rival parties have pitted their candidates against each other to secure the coveted positions in the Silliman University Student
Government (SUSG). “Both parties had been acting childishly for the past years… Friends had been turning against each other. The competition had not been healthy…Our actions had been defeating the purposes of our own existence and contradicting our own slogans,” said Chairry Gumapang, CAUSE chairperson. Moved by this statement, Magalones hugged Gumapang, which rendered both emotional throughout the interview. It was revealed that the merger was decided on the night of Sept. 30 when both chairpersons simultaneously experienced a supernatural vision that compelled them to join forces.
“I had just switched off the lights in my room and was about to take my nap when a fierce blinding light struck me down. Then a voice commanded me to cease this pointless bickering and walk the university halls holding my rival’s hand! After that, I rushed for my phone and called Chairry,” said Magalones. Gumapang reported a similar experience. She also expressed her weariness with the rivalry. “We’re tired. We’re tired of bashing each other. We’re tired of hearing our elders fight as well. It’s time for peace. After all, we have the same goals. We might us well join forces like the Avengers and defeat the
Beernoon Hole the night after the incident. “I invited him for the emergency meeting for the publication. He refused and said that he had to meet with some of his ‘new found friends.’ Most of his companions that time were business managers and treasurers from other organizations.” During the meeting, Editor-inGrief Putomaya Hahalya broke the news to the staff that their budget was stolen. Beertudazo was the chief suspect. Members of school organizations informed tWS about their treasurers and business managers who took their group’s budget as well. The victims all agreed that the robbery was a planned one and that their treasurers conspired for the crime. Hahalya released a statement saying: “We will now be using bond papers in publishing our issues next semester. Our layout artist will now be writing the articles using her own penmanship and pasting the photos using grains of cooked rice provided by the College of Agriculture. I hope
the university will let us sign the ‘Print Now Pay Later’ program.” However, Smart Garcia, Office of Information and Publication head responded to Hahalya’s statement: “Hindi porke’t gusto mo, makukuha mo.” Office of Student Affairs is currently taking the case at hand. The official statement read: “The office is currently studying the issue. Whoever knows where Beertudazo is as of the moment shall report it to the office immediately so we could make proper actions. Judging by the guard’s report (that a woman wearing a Powerpuff Girl costume accompanied Beertudazo), the suspect may now be lurking in the dark, wearing a Mojo Jojo costume.” Organization presidents, whose treasures are also missing, joined the tWS staff yesterday in lighting their matchsticks because they think that symbolic ceremonies can help them find the culprits. They are now using matchsticks because “fireworks are too mainstream and they require a lot of students’ fines.”~
continued on page 4
tWS business manager steals 1.2 M from budget by Jairah Sheila Joy F. Hernani
AT THE START of the closed week, the Weekly Sillimanian (tWS) staff cannot seem to close the different issues they are facing. Last Oct. 3, the paper’s business manager, Jay-Bee Beertudazo, was declared missing. With him was 75% of tWS’s budget and four bottles of 1.5-L softdrinks. The suspect left a note inside the tWS aquarium-shaped office saying: “Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo. Maraming snatcher. Maaagawan ka. Lumaban ka!” Beertudazo volunteered cleaning and locking the office after the meeting held last Oct 1. One of the security guards confirmed that Beertudazo was the last student in the office at around 10 pm. When he left the premises, he was seen with a beautiful and sexy woman, wearing a Powerpuff Girl costume, whom the authorities perceive as his apprentice. tWS Circulation Manager Jet Lee Baga said that he last met Beertudazo treating a couple of his friends to spicy tempura and silog meals near
SAs replace horses for Tartanilya Project by Roselle Louise L. Publico
WITH sMARK COMMUNICATIONS’
withdrawal of support to the university’s Tartanilya project, the administration decided that the project will now be powered by students, not horses. According to Smart Garcia, information officer, the school’s own student assistants (SAs) will be assigned the task of pulling the
carts along the roads of Dumaguete city. The new twist in the project was also inspired by the movie “Petrang Kabayo” in which Garcia’s idol, ViceGanda, starred in. The office refused to disclose the conflict between SU and sMARK Communications, Inc., which sponsored the said project. “There was a disagreement between us and sMARK, which caused them to withdraw their support in the
Tartanilya Project,” said Garcia. The horses, with its maintenance and training, require a large amount of money, which the university cannot afford at this time. However, the administration has decided to continue but with some significant changes instead of closing the entire project down. “Since our SAs are growing in number, we are willing to give them a try… Yes, it is a little bit risky but we continued on page 4
FORERUNNERS OF THE WORLD. Buildings and Grounds (BG) employees demonstrate how the tartanilyas will be powered by the students starting next semester. PHOTO BY Alex Iso
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the weekly sillimanian 05 october 2012
editorial We speak Manilese, pare.
DUE TO SENSITIVE AND CONTROVERSIAL ISSUES TACKLED IN THIS ARTICLE, THE EDITORIAL HAS BEEN CENSORED. SINCE THERE WILL BE NO MORE tWS NEXT SEMESTER, THE STAFF WOULD LIKE TO THANK ITS FEW READERS FOR SUPPORTING THE FREEDOM OF THE PRESS THROUGH THE PRINT MEDIUM. NEVER SAY YES TO CENSORSHIP AGAIN.
sillymeniensspeak Compiled by John Lee D. Limbaga
“Kung ikaw si Batman, sinong bahala sa’yo?” Edit-THORS note: Students from the College of School Administration answers the question
“I don’t want to comment, so as not to put Batman in a bad light.”- VP Panty Low “Why are you publishing bad news? I will call SMART Garci-a. Hello? Hello, Garci.” - Bee Gee “Why should I answer this question? I don’t even know you.” - Ocho Room “I don’t like your article about the Sea ice.” - Kaba Teeth “Lie-bell. You are risking yourselves for a Lie-bell kiss.” - Lioness **Next year’s question (from @SillimanianWoes):
“Who would you rather be trapped in an elevator with, Sir Elman or Dr. Ben? Explain. 20 points.”
You have one year to think about this. Enjoy your sem break!
Tig-BILAR mi no Maya Angelique B. Jajalla Matog-less Mariella S. Bustamante Ocay-ocay ko Katrin Anne A. Arcala TANgible Michiko Je M. Bito-on ALCALA nyo lang wala Justin Val R. Virtudazo KASO, CAUGHT IN THE ACT Samantha L. Colinco Tu-MIRA kami Jelanie Rose T. Elvinia, Kriztja Marae G. Labrador, Susanah Jane L. Lapa, Jairah Sheila Joy F. Hernani, Roselle Louise L. Publico BACHAha among gisulat Roberto Klemente R. Timonera, Julia Andrea C. Abrenica, Shadid R. Sidri, Royanni Miel Hontucan SMILE ON, DONG! Melissa Alexandra B. Pal, Alexandra Diane L. Iso Maka-INDAB ako drawing Rea Samantha P. Migullas Maski Sino tagaan ug paper John Lee D. Limbaga Dili mag-KILAT2x sa office Princess Jezrael A. Frondozo Magna-NAKAO ng tulog Federico B. Martinez VII FALEEEER! Jae Jireh P. Nejudne WARLITO S. CATURAY JR.
Happy World Teacher’s Day, Dear Mentors!
“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.” - Francis Bacon This is the Lampoon issue of the Weekly Sillimanian
Tsong. Pare. Tol. Dude. Bro. Ano ba problema n’yo? Porke’t galing Manila kami, Tagalog agad? You guys serious? Naririnig n’yo ba kaming gumagamit ng mga words like salumpuwet, dalubhasaan, utoy at ineng? Nakaka-praning, men! We speak Manilese! Parang like how the Japanese and the Chinese speak Japanese and Chinese, you know. Mas sophisticated kesa Taglish pero less malandi kesa coño. Marinig n’yo lang kami sa classroom, Tagalog agad? Dude, napaka racist! Tapos, you guys stereotype us na mayabang? Oh c’mon, silly man! Huwag n’yo nga kami nilalahat sa mga naging classmates n’yo sa Filipino na nag-talumpati on the spot kala mo kung sinong magaling basura naman ang pinagsasabi. Hindi lahat nang galing Manila are like that. Subukan n’yo pumunta ng Manila, walang magsasabing mayabang kayo. Unless mag-angas kayo dun. Good luck na lang talaga. Tapos may naririnig pa kaming hearsay, kami daw mga taga-Manila masyadong liberated ang pag-iisip. Hello? Seriously? Have you seen how most of your chicks here dress up sa class? Eh kahit nga yun ibang chiksilog n’yo ang lakas ng loob magsuot ng kuyukot shorts. And here’s what I don’t get about your chicks pa. Mag-susuot ng mga
see-through, low V-neck, hanging, spag-strap at kahit ano pang telang nagpapakita ng skin tapos pag nakatitig na kami, bastos agad? Not that I don’t like what I usually see, pero kung magsusuot naman kayo ng rape-able na damit, panindigan n’yo naman! Yun iba pa, naka-suot ng kuyukot shorts sa class, tapos kung umupo, daig pa kaming mga lalake kung bumukaka. You waiting for a frog to enter or what? Don’t think your boys are off the hook, bro. Huwag niyo naman araw-arawin ang shorts and slippers.
Mareklamong Sillimanian Earl Paolo Jaculbe
Kulang na lang mag sando kayo sa class na walang ligo. And by the way, highway, hip-hop is cool but it’s been dead for like ten years, tol. May nakikita pa ba kayong member ng Back Street Boys na may suot na baggy shorts, maluwag na shirt with matching cool caps and blingblings? Etong the best, pare! Kami daw mga galing Manila, mayaman! Anak naman ng isaw, tsong. Pareho lang naman peso ang currency natin ah. Sino nagsabing may Manila Dollar
na? At kahit totoong may mga mayaman nga na galing Manila, for sure naman maghihirap din sila agad pagdating dito. Eh halos lahat ata ng gawin mo dito may bayad. Humingi ka lang ng certificate of good moral character sa OSA, tumataginting na P25 agad. Wow, saan gawa yun papel nun? Tapos may aircon fees pang biglang sumusulpot sa account mo pag matatapos na ang sem. Dagdagan mo pa ng mga fines galing sa student council bawat college. May kilala ako umabot na sa P1500 ang fines niya kasi hindi siya sumasali sa mga activities. Hindi naman ako galit, dude. I’m just explaining. You and I, we are all the same. Punto lang sa pananalita ang pinagkaiba natin. We say pink, you say penk. We say ukol, you say okol. We say ano, you say unsa. Parepareho tayong naghahanap ng issue ng tWS pag Wednesday. Dapat ata the Weekend Sillimanian na ang tawag sa kanila eh, diba? We both dance gangnam, and most of us hate Justin Bieber and Tito Sotto. Mas masaya kaming mag concert kesa senyo, pero mas malakas kayo sa inuman kesa samin. We all have our own strength and weaknesses. Pero sa hinaba-haba ng reklamo, we are all Pinoys. We are all Sillimanian. Right, bro? Peace out, y’all! ~
Photographer ka ba? Photography. What is it, exactly? When you mention it, the first thing that comes into a person’s head would probably be photos of nearly wilting flowers, puppies biting each other’s ear off, clouds with “silver lining”, green grass (with a bit of dog crap, unnoticed at first), beat up, old shoes, and “emo” poses and/or mirror shots in the bathroom showing your school mate inside the cubicle with super far out captions. Edited version pa! The sad reality is, first timers don’t know what to actually do with their new DSLRs. Some even hold it as if they were holding a compact digital camera. You see, holding a DSLR is like holding a cheesy foot long sandwich from a hotdog stand. You have to support its body and its lens, the way you support the rest of your snack for you to eat it. You think photography is your life and passion? Really? Just ‘coz you took a photo of a flower, which is out of focus, doesn’t mean you are one. I’m sorry if I crushed your dreams of becoming one this early. But becoming a photographer takes ample time. You cannot become a photographer overnight or in a few minutes. Every time you post a photo on social networks, don’t post it thinking about how many
likes, comments you’re gonna get or how “popular” you’re going to be. Oh, and stop blaming your camera if the photo you wanted to take didn’t come out as you wanted. You control the camera, not the other way around, my dear. So, as you practice, you get better at photography. Like from being a beginner to becoming an amateur. If you get hired for a formal-ish event, please do dress for the occasion. You start joining photography
Rants of an Observer Melissa Alexandra Pal
clubs or organizations, like, a group where you can “relate” with people who share the same passion as you do. But what you don’t see at first is that you meet people who have bigger heads than you. In the vernacular, mga dagko’g ulo! Comparing among the group their newest gadgets, photo equipment and the like. And then, they tell you it’s not enough. They tell you they want to upgrade to something even “better” even though they have the best for that month. Oo na, kamo na ang dato.
Let’s say you’ve really improved your skills at photography; from the amateur stage to a professionalISH stage. You get to do a photo exhibit. The next thing you know, or may not know, you’re walking around this earth like you’re somebody everyone should know about. All because of ONE photo exhibit. Hindi pa naman naging solo exhibit. You remind me of that scene in “Ang Babae sa Septik Tank” wherein there was this filmmaker who felt like he was on top of the world because he got invited to ONE film festival abroad. Y’know what? Magsama kayo. Siya sa film, ikaw naman sa photography. And don’t get too attached to that espresso. Baka ma-miss mo pag uwi mo dito sa Pinas. Don’t be too proud of your small achievements. The best is yet to come. How do I know? Coz I am a “struggling” photographer. I struggle to get good shots but I admit I am not good enough. According to Henri Cartier-Bresson, “Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst.” I have not reached my 10,000th photo mark yet. Glad I got that thing off my chest. Anyway, yeah, sorry for the long post. Actually, I lied. I’m not sorry >:D~
the weekly sillimanian 05 october 2012
twsfictures 3
Of course Silliman 'Loves' Us by Roberto Klemente Timonera & the ones at Q yosko at around 4:30 AM, when you try to finish as much Michiko Je Bito-on schoolwork as you can before sunlight illiman our alma mater, spills onto the city. No one sleeps in Silliman beside the sea. Alma their beds anymore. So, to make sure mater. Although the term you get a good morning’s sleep every carries with it the scent of diplomas, day, Silliman tells your teachers to books, and cheap karindirya food, speak as monotonously as possible. it’s actually Latin for “nourishing Indeed, their voices are intellectual mother.” We don’t literally suck milk lullabies; entire lessons and ideas from Silliman’s bountiful breast cushion your head like the softest (nitpick: an image must first work pillow. 3. Lahi ra gyud ma-inlab ang on the literal level before it can Sillimanian. be a metaphor. Schools do not have boobs.) or anything like that, but she loves us anyway. She lurrrrves us. You want proof? Oh, we’ll give you proof. Here 1. Eggs are good for you. But Our yellow yolks are school too mainstream. knows that m u c h . S i l l i m a n our campus h a t e s b e i n g Which is why “hot spots” mainstream, so she makes sure is peppered with you get the hipster-est eggs around. that are conducive to romantic Green eggs. Yes, the ones in Dr. activity, and are conveniently ngitngit Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham. Dear and mingaw around 9 in the evening. ol’ Silliman is good friends with Also there’s the amphitheatre, the Sam-I-Am, so she gets a large supply main library, and many others places of green eggs from time to time-- you’ll have to find yourself. ;) 4. Speaking of the library, we have -all the ham goes to the President’s house, of course. He hands them out a number of special book collections donated by noted Sillimanians such to dormers. 2. Being a Sillimanian, your body as Marjorie Evasco and _______. clock’s probably gone whack by now. (unsa gani tong uban collection? Moments that are “clear as day” are Haha) Some of the books are pretty
S
rare. If we borrowed them and took them home, we’d probably forget about them and instead waste time on the Internet. 5. Vending machines are a real blessing within the campus. You can spend at most Php 15.00 for a refreshing and savory drink of cappuccino, fruit juice or your favorite soda. But sometimes, you can’t help but think that they’re screwing with your pocket (and sanity) when they give you no ice cubes, plain water and ice, or a drink with a sprinkle of ants (unwanted condiments that come in red and black). The machines also get outright cruel when they spit out your tattered twenty peso bill while you are about to die from e x t r e m e d e hy d r at ion at any given moment. 6. A Sil limanian’s literary and artistic skills are too prized that creators prefer to self-publish them on armchairs, doors and gender signages
near comfort rooms. Have you seen the four-legged artwork done on one of the signs near the AH 2nd floor girl’s comfort room? How about the cultic skulls with teachers’ names on the armchairs where you hold y o u r arts
subjects? If you are more of a “wide reader”, try skimming over comfortroom doors. Maybe you’ll find one of life’s greatest lessons written on them, or, better yet, get the dream date of your life by contacting the
n u m b e r s purposely
written
for your convenience and pleasure. *winky wink* 7. Silliman University wants us to enjoy campus life so much that she doesn’t make us wait for t h e next Founder’s W e e k Celebration to try out the annual horror chamber. She gives every student an equal opportunity at an authentic h a i r-r a i s i n g experience. For starters, you can try going around the Katipunan Hall late at night. However, the best advice we can probably give to men out there to maximize Silliman’s year-round horror booths is to bring along a date, make sure you execute “da moves” when the chance is right. We are currently at the final stretch of our semester and you might have a thing or two to share on Dear o’l Silliman’s lurve for you when you get back home. If ever you decide to tell you parents about your “exquisite” stay at the university beside the sea, we sure do hope and pray that they have big hearts and open minds to still allow you to come back and finish your studies here (otherwise, they’ll send you off to a university on the surface of the moon or elsewhere). Toodle-oo, for now. ~
boredom busters! by Shadid Sidri and Royanni Miel good to go! For your performance SUCKS. Agree or disagree?” Be venue, choose areas that have lots of creative! Why not put in a treasure Millares potential audiences like the cafeteria. map or a nude selfhere are days when you find Avoid places where you might yourself walking up and down disturb people. For example, the hallways or sitting down you shouldn’t do impromptu in a boring lecture. You might think to musical numbers in because yourself “why am I sitting in this mind- churches numbing discussion? I’m not even people who go there enrolled in this class! Man, I’m bored.” tend to be in the Well, here is a fun list of ways to kick middle of something. 3.) Leave notes in library boredom out of your day, the same way you would kick out a drunken uncle books The library is never really a from a family party. fun place to go. The library por tr ait? 1.) Silliman Golf ( O k a y, There are so many empty fields staff is boring and throws may be around Silliman. The field beside the the worst rave parties. not the selfgym, for instance. Why not slip on Be a Good Samaritan your fanciest slacks and grab some golf and try to make library gear and start a game of your own? the of Just find a nice spot at a far end of experience people the field, dig a few holes and you have other yourself a working golf course (Golf more interesting carts and uninteresting commentary by leaving fun are optional) To make it more exciting, pieces of paper you can even move around different with messages the fields to have several courses. Take between care however: hitting a ball too hard pages of random or far might hit someone in the head, books. It could causing death. Death tends to make be a simple note that reads “Hello, people very, very upset. your mother 2.) Impromptu Musical Numbers you!” If you’ve ever watched a Disney loves movie, you’ll learn that everything is or even more better with song numbers. Go ahead argumentative PHOTO BY Alex Iso and grab some friends, choose a song, notes that read make some choreography, then you’re “Justin Bieber=
T
portrait.) 4.) Drawing There are so many great moments to capture in Silliman. A great and creative way to capture these moments is by drawing them! Just get a piece of paper and a pencil, and then get drawing. Possible subjects to draw include the many buildings of the university, the student, teachers or even the acacia trees. You might say “But photography is much easier!” Well, photography is too mainstream and cameras don’t come cheap (unless you have an extra kidney that you want to get rid of ). Besides, drawing is a great way to work out your artistic talents! 5.) Become a street musician In the event that you have a musical instrument with you such as a harmonica in your bag or a guitar in your pocket, then whip out your instruments and start playing. It’s as simple as going to a nice spot such as the amphitheater and
just playing your music. If you have a group of friends who also happen to have guitars in their pockets or any other instruments, you can go ahead and start a street band! Keep in mind, however, that you should avoid performing in places where people might be busy, such as bathrooms. Most people find it difficult to do their business in the bathroom when there is a musician outside the c 6.) Pretend to be a teacher Give a teacher a break from the usual walking-into-the-room routine and pretend to be the substitute teacher. Wear some decent attire, carry thick books and put on the most serious face you can come up with. Go into the class before the real teacher arrives and go straight to the front of the class and tell them that their regular teacher is sick and you were asked to fill in. Give them as much homework as you can and then tell them wait. Leave the room before the real teacher arrives. The students will have no idea what just happened. These are just some of the many activities you can do to keep yourself entertained in the event that you find yourself inhumanely bored while on campus. Don’t limit yourself to this article, though. There are so many things to do. Go out, have fun, and remember---you’re only limited by your imagination (and the law)!~
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the weekly sillimanian 05 october 2012
Oriental Hall lies the Weekly Sillimanian’s safely nestled, aquarium-like lair. But we, the staffers, have to admit: it’s really strange yet pleasing how passersby give RANDOMspace: Within us a variety of reactions. And since it delights us so much, we are going to reveal the REAL shenanigans within our mini-refugee camp:
the
(Source: Michino Je Bito-on) The Weekly Sillimanian office also The staff consumes six 1.5 serves as a venue for flip top battles liter-soft drinks a week. (for the ambitious), a sleeping Unfortunately, two weeks quarter (for the nocturnal freaks), ago, someone took home 2 dining area (because kiosks are two bottles all for himself. too mainstream), a study room [Jay-Bee Beertudazo opens (just because), and mini-karaoke fridge]: “Kinsay nikuha? bar and dance studio. Baga’g nawung!”
Have you ever noticed the floral fragrance left behind when a Weekly Sillimanian staffer passes by? Some of us actually use Glade ® air freshener as perfume.
There are 23 official tWS staff members. Four editors, six news writers, four feature writers, an adviser, a business manager, a cartoonist, two photojournalists, a web manager, a layout artist, an office manager, a circulation manager…a freeloading bum owning the initials E.P.J., and silog eaters known as “F4+1.”
The last thing you probably want to do in our office is to plug your USB flash drive in one of our desktop computers. Not only will your files get deleted, you will also receive viruses placing filenames like secret.exe and sexy.exe.
roundup
POORBEDIN LAB. A student flirts with his teacher. Romantic relationships between teachers and students are now rampant in the school. PHOTO BY Alex Iso
by Jelanie Rose T. Elvinia and yet, not even a single pebble was seen for the construction. They keep on Melissa Alexandra Pal promising and promising but they IF YOU WANT to break a promise, do nothing. It’s about time that they give priority to the varsity as well, never to an archery team. Silliman University Archery coach whether that’s the archery team, Row Well Metro protested last basketball, volleyball, etc.” he said. President Nalaya said in a Sept. 30 against SU President Been Nalaya for not fulfilling his promise statement: “Yes, I transferred them there to build the entire archery team a million-worth firing range at the Si because I want to build a garden beside the gym. That’s where I Maprangka Bowlfieeeld. Metro was found aiming in front could smell the flowers and see the of Nalaya’s house at around 9am last butterflies soar up high in the air Sunday. Fortunately, nobody was in every morning. Students are stressed the residence at that time apart from with their exams and requirements. the housekeepers. There were no It’s time for them to take a break and smell the roses.” bows released. Nalaya said that the office will not Metro, instead, called the press and revealed that the administration disclose any further information as transferred their practice field from of the moment. Metro, on the other the area beside the gymnasium to the hand, is waiting for the release of the Si Maprangka Bowlfieeeld with the second installment of the “Hunger promise that they will be providing Games” movie. “Katniss Evergreen an estimated million-worth facility is the inspiration of my team,” he said. ~ for the varsity within the semester. “It’s almost the end of the sem and
SAs replace... from page 1 will make sure they are not harmed,” said Garcia. The new system of student-drawn carriages will not only be addressing problems in pollution as originally planned. It also raises the school’s advocacy of animal rights. “SU has been actively promoting the rights of animals for the past years, now they are taking it a notch higher. Students will now personally experience the horses’ plight,” added Garcia. The student assistants’ welfare was also carefully deliberated by the administration. With this new burden upon them, the student assistants will be paid about three to four times more than what they earn at offices. This new project will be implemented by the start of next semester. The training and seminars of some student assistants will take place this semester-break. “This is one way of addressing the obesity problem in the university. Grab a tartanilya and have a sexy figure,” Garcia said. ~
OBITUARY
by Samantha L. Colinco AFTER 109 YEARS of campus and community service, the Weekly Sillimanian (tWS) is closing up for an “indefinite period of time” starting this second semester. Silliman President Been Nalaya said: “These past two months, the Weekly Sillimanian has reached the lowest readership in its history. We take this decline as a sign that newspapers are indeed dying even in the academia. Therefore this is tWS’s last semester of publication because we cannot continue to support a losing entity.” Nalaya broke the news at an Office of Information and Publications (OIP) meeting last Oct. 1. He said that publishing “more controversial news stories” was the university’s last attempt to revive student interest but the move proved to be futile. Several offices also complained that the publication staff has been writing about negative issues for their news stories. “We planned exhaustively and that actually cost us two months of publication time. This is the reason why tWS published in August instead of June. We tried everything we can to
AMPHI SCANDAL. Two students are caught cuddling and almost kissing each other at the amphitheatre. The amphitheatre is one of the most popular spots for dating couples inside the campus. PHOTO BY Melissa Pal
pull the readership up but we seemed to be going nowhere so we just gave up,” he said. Established in 1903, tWS is one of only four campus papers in the country that publishes on a weekly basis. Smart Garcia, OIP director, also said that this is not an abrupt decision but one that followed years of feasibility studies and research. “We found the litter of tWS on the campus every week a very disheartening sight. That actually triggered an epiphany in us that the youth now are really more inclined to using smart phones, tablets and laptops. So why bother printing newspapers if nobody reads them, and worse, throws them away instead?” he said. Garcia added that they are still deliberating on whether to resume the paper’s operation soon or to create a downloadable app version of tWS for electronic gadgets instead. “We have to see a rise of student interest in university affairs first because we don’t want any endeavor to flop again. We also want to give this time for the staff to take their beauty rest and reawaken their love lives. Seems like most of them lack these,” he said. ~
SILLIMANWEEKLYSURVEY Show my KILLER smile
One lucky day you meet the teacher who failed you in one of your favorite subjects:
Give him/her the “F finger sign” for giving me an F
Date the teacher and bribe him/her to change my grade
The still nameless dog who served as the tWS mascot died last Oct. 3. The dog was depressed to death due to the implementation of RA 10175. Rest in peace, nameless dog.
Admin: No more tWS next sem
Embrace him/her for giving me a chance to discover that things are “lovelier the second time around” and that lighting does strike the same place twice
Q: What will you do to him/ her?
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Archery team protests, fires at president’s house
explained: “One is for organizing band concerts and the other will be signing all the solicitation letters. The two presidents will undergo singing and penmanship tests to determine which one will carry each of the two duties. Because as they say: the more the merrier.” To avoid confusion in the future, Gumapang and Magalones signed a Memorandum of Agreement last Oct. 3. “We have learned our lessons from the PERA Scholarship,” Nalaya said. “This merging is a good sign that student politics is now becoming mature in the university. After all, blue and green makes a true red Sillymenian,” he added. ~
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unbiased governance from SAUCE,” Gumapang said. ‘No third party, no other party’ The merging of the two most powerful colors in the university silenced earlier speculations that a third party will soon emerge. “There will be no other party. SAUCE is as good as a three-in-one party,” Gumapang said. In response to the unprecedented development, the SU president has declared that the party members will share the respective positions they once competed for. Consequently, starting next school year, there will be two SUSG presidents leading the student body. SU president Been Nalaya
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SURE and CAUSE... from page 1 forces of evil together.” Magalones added: “The rivalries throughout the years were unbecoming. Instead of acting maturely, some fall back. Some act like children. I agree with Chairry; it’s time to fight the “Loki” that plagues student politics by holding each other’s hands. It’s time to stop this political bickering by following the example of Voltes V. Let’s volt in!” SAUCE will now carry the motto: “Passion hanggang sa tagumpay”. Its campaign slogan will be “Padayon over power.” The t-shirt of the party is set to be colorless. “It will be a symbol of transparency and
Ten representatives per college served as respondents of this survey. Survey con-
ducted by Princess Jezrael A. Frondozo.