The Well Life Magazine *Special Edition

The Editor’s Desk:

The Journey to I D0 To live a great life is the intention of most. Accumulating things that we deem valuable and noteworthy gives us a high that we share with others. Pursuing happiness and fulfillment is a different acquisition; it’s an internal spiritual-type journey as we navigate this maze called life. To juggle all of these things while accepting the gift of love and marriage is a contract that most of us embrace readily, especially the mature woman...the woman after 40. I am proudly one of those women but there was a stint where I was not so proud to proclaim that love met me (finally) after 40. You’ll read my sentiments in this special edition. I am also joined by a few dear friends that will share their jewels with you. Although dedicated to the woman who is 40+I believe that this issue is designed to touch the heart of the woman of any age who is mature inheart and spirit and desires to meet her God-send. One thing that I learned before dating Gene was that I had to be a wife from within before saying yes at the altar. This didn’t mean giving him wife privileges as a girlfriend it meant checking myself real good to see how much fruit of the spirit I was bearing. It challenged me to ask myself some very tough questions. Questions like, “Are you ready to deny yourself for the sake of two becoming one?” “Are you willing to take on his career and life pursuits as your own?” “Will you accept him as he is without needing to change anything about him?”

I’ve written two relationship books that I encourage you to read if you haven’t already. They areincluded in this edition as an advertisement, check them out. Lastly I wanted to sort of memorialize a few women in television of who’s shows I have thoroughly enjoyed and could often see bits of myself in. Like them I had to evolve in my thinking; become whole and learn how to be satisfied with my life as it was before welcoming the man.

Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City and Mary Jane Paul of Being Mary Jane. Like them, like me, you will find your own path of evolving and through God’s grace you will soon be greeted with the one God has designed just for you.

you could’ve never rendered. You are worth the wait. On behalf of my one year anniversary as Mrs. Moore I wanted to dedicate something to you as a gift of encouragement. You are a jewel. I’m praying with you and I look forward to celebrating with you soon.

I pray my journey restores you.

I encourage you to cling tightly to hope, life and fulfilling it until that day.

Time will be compensated in a way

Forever Moore, LaShanna Leonard Moore

CONTENTS 06 12

05. When We First Begun 06. Happily Ever Amos 07. Shopping The Looks:

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Finding The Right Dress

10. Single After 40 12. Pour the Cosmopolitan

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Love Fails.Love Wins. It’s All Apart of God’s Plan.

Are you Ready to Launch?

Available online at lashannaleonardmoore.com

When We First Began

By Kiambre Garrett Brown

My “I do” began with an “I don’t”. Before I met my husband, I had a list of I don’ts.

I didn’t really want a man. I didn’t feel lonely and didn’t need anybody to be strong for me. On August 29, 2015 LaShanna Leonard (not Moore yet) had spoken a word from God over my life about my future mate. By the middle of 2016 I thought my gifted friend must have heard wrong. “ A mate where?”

I was trying to disengage fully from a toxic fit. My “I don’t” attitude was adopted for protection. I know, some of y’all would have yet been holding on. This chick here was impatient, headstrong and a fixer so waiting wasn’t my forte. In the middle of my emotional rollercoaster I met Brandon at a job that we both hated.

You know, one of those jobs that keep food on the table but you for sure aren’t trying to stay there? One day in late October I walked by and he turned around with those dimples and said “Hi. I’m Brandon”. I politely said hi while walking away. The next time he spoke to me we started to talk about church, out of all things. Talking to Brandon was refreshing because I could be my entire self.

As great as this was it didn’t change my openness to dating. Somehow though we started going to lunch and talking on the phone all the time. You know the teenage fall asleep on the phone thing? Yep we were doing that.

On November 23, 2016 he asked if we could go out to Cheddars after work. I agreed and that dinner was the beginning of our story. I left my car and rode with him.

That was huge for me because I didn’t trust people that much. We sat and talked for hours.

He said “I want you to know everything about me before you decide to really give me a chance”. 5 We laid everything out there. The good, the bad and ugly.

The crazy thing is, we were both running in some of the same circles while I was attending the University of Houston and never met. Whew! God knew that version of ourselves would have combusted! The thing I remember most from that dinner was me admitting I didn’t have a person because I was everyone’s person.

He said to me, “I’ll be your person” and I began falling. The next year and a half life hit us hard!

Important members of our lives were lost due to death, my epilepsy kicked into high gear and momentary unemployment found us. We found that we could grip each other in life’s storms.

Things finally started to settle just a bit mid-2018. That summer Brandon told me he didn’t want me to go into 2019 with the same last name. I started losing my mind and the small, 5-6 person wedding was morphing into a monstrous, financially draining fiasco. One night I noticed how quiet Brandon was and asked what was wrong. He quietly admitted that he didn’t like what was supposed to be a good thing was turning into a place of stress. I then realized what I was doing.

On December 28, 2019 after my best friend prayed over me we went to the courthouse. A judge pronounced us man and wife and that entire man became mine. The hilarious thing is that in 2015 Mrs. Moore prophesied my marriage would be unconventional because I’d be too busy trying to help God so he’d have to surprise me!

Here we are married and in love. #Brownluvforever THE WELL LIFE

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I remember when I first met my husband.

I was hosting Thanksgiving at my house and he was a last-minute invite of a friend of a friend.

I remember first seeing him and saying, “don’t get put out” and continuing with my evening.

Happily Ever Amos

By Aneechia Amos

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He then shows up for Christmas and he says that I said something real fly and walked off. It is at that moment that he says that his interest was sparked .

Mine was not. So fast forward to the next year and we again see each other at a party only thistime he was asked to walk me to my car. We had brief conversation but nothing too deep. A few days later I get a call saying he wanted my number. He called the same night and we had our first date the very next evening. And the rest as they say is history. Timing really is everything.

What we found is that we were both ready, not just to love again, but to do things differently.

When you are a woman of a certain age who has never been married there are some adjustments you have to make. I have always been able to come and go as I please without regard to anyone besides my kids. Now I have this person who wants to spend quality time when I really want 7 quiet time. Or he wants to stay in and I want to go out. Together we have found our happy place and we call it home.

When we initially met, I was still healing process.

But the woman he later interacted with was now healed. I had taken the time to reflect, forgive and heal from the past hurts that had me saying I was done. But during that time, I had also asked God to remove all counterfeits. If Hewanted me to be in a relationship, He would have to do it. I was tired. You must be careful what you ask for because I didn’t just get a relationship, I got a whole amazing husband.

I will be honest there were times that I wanted to hit the pause button because it just felt like it was moving so fast. But we both equally felt that it was just right. What I have found is that being together is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever asked for. There is a peace that comes with knowing that two people are committed to building and living a wonderful life together.

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

SHOPPING THE LOOKS

Finding The

Right Dress Boutique: La Reve Bridal THE WELL LIFE

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Wedding planning was daunting; however this was the moment I made time stop for me. This was one part of my wedding planning that I wanted to indulge and breathe in every moment. I involved my mom and mother-in-law with my two aunts on facetime. I had already determined that the final decision would be mine and what I felt my fiance (now husband) would love. When it came down to

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the final 2 dresses my consultant asked me one question that still sticks with me.

The question helped me make my final decision. She asked, “when you look back on your wedding day how do you want to feel about the way you looked�. When I found my adjectives I knew exactly how to decide.

I was battling weight gain from my PCOS and envisioned what my dress would look like after my victory from it.

I made my decision and never looked back. Here are the other gowns.

THE WELL LIFE

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Single After

40

By LaShanna Leonard Moore

Let’s jump right into this. Living single after 40 can feel scary.

Remove all of the spiritualism, feminism and culturally accepted ideas and this is the raw feeling a woman experiences.

I certainly had it.

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For me life was doing fine: I was whole; living my life, operating my business and checking things off of my bucket list. Nevertheless there is something to be said about God’s intention for mankind to have companionship. It’s strong. It’s real. Your heart recognizes the missing piece, starts looking at your lifespan and screaming embarrassingly loud, “hey where’s your mate?”

insecure or desperate because they have desire. They aren’t weak or less than because they seek partnership. They are operating fully in their physiology to function as both receiver and partaker; investor and benefactor.

There’s something to be said about the grace that’s needed for the woman after 40. Why forty? This is typically the benchmark in an American woman’s life where the assessment of accomplishment and acquisition are made. Is she thriving in her career?

Has she accomplished a goal? Has she started a family? Is she married? While each of us carefully sketch our own stories these questions are inevitable.

The 40+ woman has learned a great deal about herself. At this juncture she is stepping fully into her womanhood, sexuality and forecasting for life. She is more sound mentally and emotionally and has graduated from the shortterm brain activity to 17 the long-term.

She multimanages the expectations of society and her own. She is going hard and going home. Most times going home alone. She walks into her beautiful home flicks on the lights walks through the elegantly decorated corridor and sits on her plush couch to unwind ...alone.

The silent air is refreshing but reminds her that something is still missing. Life doesn’t end for her but it sure would be delightful to extend it with another.

Yes, grace is what the woman after 40 needs. A grace to stay poised when unnerving inquiry bombards her. A grace to exhale at the end of a long day when no one waiting to rub her feet.

A grace to manage all duties in her life; homework, the trash, community roles, job responsibilities and a sense of fashion. A grace to feel comforted, needed and important to the right man.

A grace to remember that God has not forgotten her. A grace to know that God is not playing a cruel joke on her passion or biological clock.

As she continues to live her life happy and full she will need grace.

Cue Grace

GRACE IS the unmerited strength given from God that allows her to rest her strengths and vulnerabilities in His care. In this strength nothing is required. No assembly required. No performance necessary. This type of grace is the practice of handing over yourself to someone else; someone on a higher frequency. This grace says to you, “give me you; everything that you feel you need in order to be strong and perform great deeds”.

The woman after 40 goes through life embracing many teachings, setting many standards and quoting many affirmations. It’s needed and it’s necessary. Within that strength and ambition there has to be room for the strong mature woman to feel awkward, to question and to simply wonder “when”. She ought to be able to exhale that uncertainty from her lungs.

In this gift of grace it is not strengthfor-strength that is exchanged. It requires your disrobing and unzipping of everything you’ve woven on to you that makes you bear up under all things. If you hold on to your strength (which is actually survivalstrength) you’ll halt this gift of grace.

It is not until you practice the art of exchanging survival-strength for His strength (grace) that you can rest and be at peace even in the unknown.

It is the raw honest and vulnerable nature of anyone who appreciates companionship. Let me clarify that this admission needs no judgement, criticism or analysis. Women aren’t

I would describe this exchange as Psalm 23:2-3a (NIV) He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul.

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Pour the

Cosmo politan Our witty wives are sharing insight on what marriage has taught them.

Grab your girlfriends and your favorite beverage and let’s make a toast.

Wife Miara Shaw

Hot Topic: Finances

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What was the easiest part about this transition?

My husband and I have similar spending habits so that made the transition a lot easier.

I knowthat not having healthy money habits would be a serious deal breaker for us.

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What was the hardest part about this transition?

I think it’s a cultural thing for men of color to speak the “I’m at my last $2.00 language”.

I think they believe this will keep the wives from “going off the rails with the spending”.

I had to learn and understand that he wasn’t personally doubting me, it is just language he was using. I had to get that lesson because initially I was really in my feelings about it.

I totally joke now and say that Microsoft Excel is his love language!

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Give our readers the real deal about marriage after 40

(in 6 sentences or less).

Communication is essential for a healthy marriage. Learning and understanding your partner’s triggers; good and bad helps create a more loving environment. Being flexible with not only the peaks and valleys of life but also those that your partner experiences requires selflessness.

Sometimes life just presents painful experiences. Those that are filled with joy, communication and flexibility help you maintain the for better or for worse.

Wife Delphene Rideau Hot Topic : Sex

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What was the easiest part about this transition?

Girl we were already hot for each other so this transition was one we both welcomed. *laughing* My husband and I were having sex before we got married and we had a healthy sexual relationship with one another. Our history is long; we dated off and on for 10 years before we got married.

We were young and knew we needed to wait on the vows.

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What was the hardest part about this transition?

Ok so we hit a roadblock that we weren’t expecting. The hardest part was staying in sync with one another. Not so much because of our schedule but I think because we are getting older. It seems that our bodies are sometimes on different wavelengths. Our moods are different, our libido is sometimes different and we see-saw a lot with how we want to engage in sex. Our love for each other helps us to be patient with each other but sex for us has become something we are really intentional about versus our younger years when we would engage in sex impulsively.

We are learning our older bodies and how we both want to be pleased. It’s working because we have agreed to allow this new space to develop naturally and with no expectations.

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3

Give our readers the real deal about marriage after 40

(in 6 sentences or less).

Wife Tommacina Bell Davis Hot Topic: Family

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What was the easiest part about this transition?

It was knowing that we were meant to be.

Being single for so many years can easily become a comfort zone even though you long for a spouse so I took a new comfort in knowing that I was marrying exactly who God meant for me to be with.

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What was the hardest part about this transition?

The challenge in my marriage dynamic was understanding roles and bonds

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I love it because we don’t sweat the small stuff; that’s for young naive couples. We are too grown, have been through too much and love each other too deep to fight over every little thing.

When you’re older and married you want to protect each other at all costs. Marriage is not for the selfish person or the person who has to have things their way at all times.

I’m 20 a tough shell to crack but I willingly crack sometimes because my partner is worth it and frankly we’re too old to harbor on the unimportant stuff. We’ve got forever to go and alot more traveling to do (and new sex to have). *wink*

between children and the new spouse. My children are young adults but my husband has no children. It takes work for the spouse without children to understand the relationship dynamic of the spouse who has children. This was our journey.

I was a single mother for many years so my children and I are extremely close. It took my husband some time to respect and appreciate the bonds; to look at them as nurturing and not spoiling. As wives we have to always be cognizant to ensure our husbands that they are in fact first, and according to GOD’S Word he takes precedence over everyone else. We must walk this out daily. (Ephesians 5:33) For us wives with children prior to marriage we must understand that the family is not the children; they are an extension of the love and union of a husband and wife. The family is the husband and wife according (Genesis 1:28) So the lesson was to remember that before during and after our husbands always come first. If we let them know it then God will ensure that you know as his wife you are first.

A SNAPSHOT OF 12.1.18 Photography Credit JRMH Photos

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THE WELL LIFE

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