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AnEnglishman’sEngland A.NajiBakhti
A.NajiBakhti
Iam a graduate ofthe University ofWestminsterwith an MA in Creative Writing.
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IfIwereEnglishandthisweremycountry,Iwouldrun downthestreethalf-naked andpause, onlytopointouttostrangetouristswithturbans anddisposablecamerasandcamels, thatthebulgeinmypantsandBigBen haveanadjectiveincommon.
IwouldmarchtowardsBuckinghamPalace andbowandcurtseyanddemandadancewiththeQueen onthegroundsthatIpaymytaxesandwashmydishes andkissmykids,andmistress,goodnight, andhavesung GodSave the Queen moretimesthanHeorIcare toremember.
Iwouldclimbontoabus andwalkallthewaytotheverybackwhereadrunkenmansitsandsnores
andwakesuponlytospeakhismind aboutpoliticsandimmigrantsandtheflailingeconomy andhiswife,thewhore whohadanaffairwithacheatingArab andcheatedonhimwithagod-fearingEnglishman.
AndIwouldshakethehandofeverypassenger whoisnotwhiteorfreckledorblond andsaytothem welcome,
welcome to England. But we’re English,they’dobject andI’dsmileandnod Maybe one day, ifyou’re good.
