VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
With TV’s
Ebuka Obi-Uchendu
VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
FASHION
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VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
EDITOR’S NOTE
Photo: @HairByUgo
CONTENTS
BEING A GREAT FATHER IS LIKE SHAVING. NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU SHAVED TODAY, YOU HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW. -Reed Markham
8-10
COV E R STO R Y: FATHER’S DAY WITH TV’S EBUKA OBI-UCHENDU
With just one day set aside to celebrate fathers and fatherly figures across the world, it is no secret that one of the keys to raising a well-rounded and balanced individual is the steady presence/ influence of a dedicated dad. There’s no denying that some mothers pull double duty due to one reason or another- taking on the role of both parents- but for the fathers who are alive, willing and able, here are a few tips to being a good dad. - Respect your children’s mother. - Spend time with your children. - Listen first, talk second - Discipline with love - Be a role model - Be a teacher - Eat with your family (at least once a day) - Show affection to your children (and their mother) - Realize a father’s job is never done. Our cover personality is none other than TV presenter and host of arguable one of the biggest shows in Africa- Ebuka Obi Uchendu who is a husband and father of two. He talks candidly about fatherhood and his own childhood, letting DOWNTOWN get a peek into his life when the cameras aren’t rolling and away from the glitz and glamour of the screen. It’s a great interview with a lot of keen insight into the entertainment personality’s private world. The rest of this issue celebrates dads with a vox pop from a couple of radio presenters, sneaker ideas for dad, beauty treats for him and so much more. It’s a great read as always, I promise. To all the dads past and present, here’s to you… Happy Father’s Day! Take care and you’ll see us next week.
04
VOX P OP
Fatherhood As They Know It
LATASHA NGWUBE
06-07
@latashalagos
FA S H ION
AUSTYN OGANNAH
PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Editor: Latasha Ngwube Editor-at-Large: Chalya Shagaya Beauty Editor: Onah Nwachukwu @onahluciaa Contributing Editor: Odun Ogunbiyi @oddbodandthecity Senior Writer: Chisom Njoku @inchisomwetrust Contributing Writer: Boluwatife Adesina @bolugram Uzo Orimalade @uzosfoodlabs House Photographer: Rachel Seidu @rachelseidu Graphics/Layout: Olatunji Samson Digital Media: Oladimeji Balogun Interns: Kehinde Fagbule, Tilewa Kazeem Guest Art Director: Sunny Hughes ‘ SunZA’ www.thewilldowntown.com thewilldowntown thewilldowntown
05 CA R E E R
In Conversations With Dr Kanu
12-13 B E AU T Y
TREATS FOR DAD THIS FATHER’S DAY
Befeeting sneakers for men this Father’s Day
14-15 H EA LTH
Clipped But Still Equipped: All you need to know about getting a Vasectomy
16
W OR DS TO EAT BY
Surprise!!!!!!!
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VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
VOX POP
Fatherhood
As They Know It
Unlike the many days designed to celebrate our women and mothers, Fathers Day as we now know it wasn’t observed until the 5th of June in 1980 when some father’s lost their lives in a mining accident in Monongah, USA. Although it was recognised then, it wasn’t celebrated until President Richard Nixon signed a declaration to celebrate every third Sunday of June as Fathers Day. With that said, it’s only right that we at Downtown celebrate it in the most grandiose way possible. Tilewa Kazeem caught up with two of Nigerian radio’s most prominent voices for a Fathers Day Vox Pop special. carry your certain name till eternity” or raising a male child is less costeffective than training a girl child which are such archaic notions that still exist in our society. For me as a dad of two girls, I always say that a child is a child regardless of gender. If we go to the books we have great women like Oprah Winfrey or Angela Merkel and if we come home we have Ngozi Okonjo-Eweala and these are women that have been there and they’ve done that. I’ve met people who birthed boys and they are nothing to write home about - likewise with girls too. So at the end of the day it just boils down to the training. Comparing children is a very ancient thing to do.
individual, you have to learn that you’re always going to be on your own and you have to have the prerequisite ingredients to assist you in carrying your load.
Arthur Ngwube
@awesome_arthur1 He is soft-spoken and wellarticulated. The mic is his Excalibur and boy does he wield it. You must have heard him on the Afternoon Drive while you were cruising through the Lagos metropolitan. A father of two beautiful kids and a husband to a loving wife. He is a Content Creator, a sought after voice-over artist, MC and presenter for Rhythm 93.7. Are there any lessons passed down from your father that you intend to teach your kids? My daddy taught me many lessons. The most important thing is how to be a man. The world has changed from the way people see men and the world has changed from the way men see themselves. A lot of people will tell you that men will “I am good” themselves into depression but as a man one is always supposed to be steadfast, strong and disciplined. You can not go through the world being a man and expect people to pat you on your back when you do good or someone to comfort you when you are down. You have to slog it out. You have to be a man about it. It’s ok when help comes your way but you are always gonna be on your own. A man has to be tough. You have to always be ready to take punches and that’s the most important thing my dad taught me I’d like to teach my kids. You are never gonna get help. Even when help comes you are always going to have to carry the bulk of the load. So as an individual you have to carry your cross. Nobody is going to help you in that regard. So being a man, being an adult or being an
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What do you think about vasectomy and can you get one? I think one of the greatest gifts we’ve been given is total mastery of our bodies, minds and spirit. A vasectomy is just a way of saying ‘regardless of what happens you are done with having children and with modern medicine a vasectomy is now more than just cutting your vasa deferentia. Now you could tighten up or you can nip and tuck. There are over 7 billion people in the world. In another 50 years from now, the world will be so overpopulated that vasectomy will no longer be a topic of controversy. It would be a way of life. People would have to neuter themselves to stop overpopulating the Earth. Nigeria has over 200 million people. We are already going through hunger, famine, etc, etc. A lecturer of mine once said to me “ It’s just not enough that you bring children into the world because your fathers did it and so did those before them. You have to bring in children you can cater for”. People who live below the middle class only have sex for themselves. Nobody is going to set a limit on how frequently you copulate. A poor man can’t afford an abortion talk more about feeding these children. So whether I can have a vasectomy is personal but it is an eventuality that is going to happen. China just eased off on its childbirth restrictions on its citizens from one to two kids because by a certain period in the distant future they want the Chinese kids and individuals to run China. A vasectomy is something we are going to have a conversation about and whether or not you are comfortable with it is not going to be up to you any longer. What did you have as a child that kids today don’t have? As a child I had innocence. I had protection from the world and I think that is something these kids don’t have today. The digitalization of the world is both a blessing and a curse. Children of today have been thrust into a world. They have unlimited access to the entire world as it is. They see the good, the bad and the ugly and unfortunately, some parts of their minds aren’t developed enough to process and understand that some of these things are dangerous. Parts of these elements can corrupt you if not sieved properly. It can take children out from under us, it can take away their innocence. So in a way, the answer to your question is Innocence.
Oladotun Kayode @Do2dtun
He is a crowd controller and a mean stepper from back in the day. He featured in the video of Dbanj’s monster hit Why Me as a dancer but when broadcasting came calling he had to listen and he found passion in it. From the Sleep Talk to Chevrolet Football Fan Show, he is now referred to as Energy Gad. Apart from his day job at Cool FM, he loves watching Paw Patrol with his gorgeous daughters and he is a caring father to them as well. It’s none other than Dotun AKA Energy GAD.
Do you think the argument “a male child is better than a female child” is one we should still have in the 21st century? It is very archaic to compare a male child to a girl child. I think this is very out of the box and it’s more or less an African thing. It is especially a Nigerian thing. You’d realize that at the end of the day people say things like “ Oh, if you have a male child he’s going to
What is something you enjoyed doing with your father that you do with your child? To be very honest, as a child my relationship with my dad was quite rigid. I love my dad. We are a lot closer now but while I was younger we didn’t really do a lot of things together to be honest except watch shows. As for my kids I watch cartoons like Paw Patrol with them. My dad wasn’t patient enough to sit down and watch cartoons with me.
If you could get a Father’s Day gift for yourself what would it be? Considering all that’s wrong with the world right now, a Father’s Day gift to myself would be a vacation. I’m due for one. Also, for some reason, I’ve wanted the PlayStation 5 and I think I might just get, that.
VOL 11 NO.19 NO.19 •• JUNE JUNE 20 20 –– JUNE JUNE 26, 26, 2021 2021 VOL
CAREER FASHION
IN CONVERSATION WITH DR KANU A practice prominent in Asia and North America, information about vasectomies are as scarce in Africa as could be. With different factors culminating to ensure that Nigerians are not so welcoming of it, it could pose as one of the most effective ways to pump the brakes on an exponentially teeming population. To discuss one of the only two contraceptives available to men, Downtown’s Kehindé Fagbule sat down with Dr. Kanu Onyekachi of Marie Stopes Clinics, Nigeria.
then where indicated, we might turn to antibiotics. Now to discuss side effects; after the procedure, there might be some level of dull ache on the perennial area. However, with paracetamol and some level of rest, the person can get back to activities. Some people might experience a modular swelling within the testicular area, that’s usually the part of the vas as it’s trying to heal. These things resolve with time and don’t constitute any longterm issue for the client. Ultimately, vasectomies are safe; it doesn’t affect the man’s masculinity, the virality or the sensuality. These are some of the misconceptions people want us to confirm for them. So you’re still the man, you have sex the same way, you still ejaculate, but whatever is coming out will not be able to get a woman pregnant.
A
re you a urologist? No, I’m not. I’m a public health specialist. However, with my organisation being the foremost providers and promoters of vasectomies in Nigeria, we have a band of doctors who received specialist training for vasectomy. A lot of that happened in Southeast Asia where vasectomies are widely accepted. The conversations around vasectomy procedures always circle back to the definitive nature of the practice. A lot of men don’t just want to shut it for life. Have you ever had to do a reversal? We don’t ever want to get ourselves to the point where we would begin a conversation of reversal with the client. The reason is, a vasectomy by all measures is designed to be permanent. So, before we get to the point of providing the service, we usually engage our clients in a rigorous counselling procedure to be sure that they would never get to the point where they regret and ask for a reversal. The technology for reversal is expensive and largely not available in many parts of the world. Even when the surgery for reversal is attempted, the chances of an actual reversal are very slim. Let’s say I come to the clinic to ask to get a vasectomy, what is the first thing you’ll do? The moment anyone makes up their mind not to have anymore children - it’s a decision lots of people make – a vasectomy itself is just one of those family planning methods available. When clients walk into my clinic and request for a vasectomy, of course the person will have to undergo some counseling. What we try to emphasize and elicit in counselling is the certainty that the individual has made up his mind. So we counsel you first on what the procedure looks like, how long it takes, if there are side effects, what are they? We have some exclusion criteria that the candidate has to take. For instance, there are clients we meet and identify as those who are at high risk of regret. Regret is one of the major side effects someone can have with their vasectomy. So we have these conversations to make sure that whatever that is pushing you to a vasectomy isn’t a temporary event. You don’t say you want to stop having kids because your last child misbehaved or your financial status won’t allow you to have another child; for these, there are short term methods to use. When we are certain that the client is not an individual who could come back with regret, we go ahead with the procedure. However, in some cases, where we’re not getting a level of certainty from the clients, we advice them to consider other methods of contraception and we can follow up with them till they are certain they want to have a vasectomy. How long does the counselling take? Not to put a timestamp to it, but the counselling usually takes about 20 to 30 mins depending on the client. I noticed that there’s next to nothing on vasectomy statistics in Nigeria. How are you informed?
As you’ve rightly said, we don’t have a lot of studies that can provide us with definitive updates and trends of vasectomies in the country. There are very few people who do the surgery in Nigeria. It’s not like tubal ligation for women where you say “Okay I’m doing a caesarean section for a woman and I just do the tubes alongside”. For a vasectomy, it has to be deliberate from the beginning to the end so those who do it have gotten additional expert training outside the routine. Even the demographic health survey, the document that gives us the contraceptive prevalence and how Nigerians are taking up other forms of contraceptives did not detail on the prevalence of the vasectomy. However, a couple of studies some people have done are placing it below 0.2% use amongst men but I feel it is much lower than that. Nevertheless, in our experience as an organisation, we’ve seen more traction, people come into our clinic and get interested in vasectomies in the past three years. Between 2019 and 2020, we had close to 80% increase in people asking for the procedure and we’re also seeing a similar trend this year. Would you give us an estimate of how many vasectomies you have carried out? I’ve done 25 to 30 vasectomies. Are you the one who gives out the counselling? Our clinic has doctors and nurses who work in that department. However, before I get up to prep the operation, I do another level of counselling. It’s more like just re-echoing everything that the patient must know.It is a technical but very quick surgery and I provide this information while answering all of their questions. If I’m the one providing the service, everybody has to go through me. What are some of the risks? Largely, the risk involved is a psychological one: the risk of regret. Even if you get the best hands in the best environment, trying to get the vas bank to function again is a very delicate surgery, and that makes the chances of reversal very low. Every surgery comes with a risk, however, with a vasectomy being minimally invasive, the risks are quite low. We use a local anaesthesia, meaning that the client will be awake chatting with us for the entirety of the procedure. Nonetheless, as an organisation, we emphasize infection prevention a lot to guide against any post-procedure infection and
Let’s discuss post-Vasectomy recovery. What happens after the surgery? After resting for at least a week, the client can again engage in sexual activity. However, we advice that within the first 3 months or 100 ejaculations after the surgery, whichever comes first, the client should use a condom to protect against residual sperm that may be present in the semen. Three months after surgery, we advice the client to come back for Seminal Fluid Analysis just to be certain that there are no sperm cells. After the procedure, we also notify clients of potential warning signs and red flags. If you see this or that, please come back to us just as a precautionary measure. We also advice that clients wear briefs/tight underwears for the few days after the surgery just to keep the scrotum in place and allow it to heal faster. What do you have to say to address the myth that vasectomies are only for learned wealthy people? On the average, we don’t know about their socioeconomic class, but from interactions, we know they are educated. We are currently in the middle of research that will give us perspectives into who our clients are, but before those results are out, we understand that our clients are educated. To fix that, we equally provide vasectomy and tubal ligation services to rural communities where people come to ask for them. The need to stop having children largely is not dependent on wealth, it is a personal realisation. Some men just come and get it done because they understand their own financial realities and their need to stop procreation. We know that information is where it all begins unfortunately, information about these services is disproportionately skewed towards the perhaps more educated high income earners. A lot hasn’t been done by the government and other medical bodies to get this information to the grassroots. This is what we try to do through outreach teams by offering the services (vasectomy, tubal ligation and other forms of contraceptive) for absolutely free to people in rural communities. We have 23 outreach teams scattered across the country providing these services. Outside that, we have our centres: in Abuja, Edo, Port Harcourt, Asaba and two in Lagos; alongside many mini-centers scattered across as well. The service could be gotten at any of these centers for as little as Fifty Thousand Naira only. Other counterpart hospitals that provide this service charge over 500-600% of what is obtainable at Marie Stopes clinics. Dr Kanu is a clinical quality and training advisor at Marie Stopes International Organization, Nigeria. His interests lie around strengthening the capacity health systems to expand access of Nigerians to quality reproductive health services. This includes activities in Health policy, social behavioral change communication, workforce analysis, training and other forms of technical support.
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VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
FASHION
Befeeting Sneakers For Men
This Father’s Day BY TILEWA KAZEEM Fashion for a conventional dad doesn’t stray too far from a wardrobe stuffed with suits, shirts, ties and an occasional drizzle of tee shirts which is not at all surprising because they are creatures of habit. They are sometimes too busy with life and work to keep tabs on things like trendy sneakers with some of them also stuck in their ways. That’s why there’s Father’s day so you can treat them and get the things they wouldn’t necessarily get for themselves like, a pair of comfy kicks. Thankfully, we’ve done the hard labour of rounding up a few great options for you. All you need to do is buy one and trade them out for those worn-out gym shoes in his collection.
New Balance 452 Often referred to as the ultimate dad shoes, these shoes are both comfortable and stylish. Although they initially targeted the dads when they were created, as time slothed past they became the go-to kicks for men and women.
Adekunle Gold
Balenciaga Black Speed When these first broke into the scene, they flew off shelves around the world. Its Memory sole technology will make you never want to take them off. These are very comfortable shoes.
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Nike Zoom Vaporfly 4% Flyknit An absolute favourite for runners and athletes. These are absolutely the best running shoes in the market and apparently, they also help you run faster. Talk about putting a spring in your step.
VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
FASHION
Off-White If you are looking to revive your dad’s shoe game then these bright red alternatives are the way to go.
Nike Air Force 1s These are the Jay-Zs of the sneakers universe and who wouldn’t want Jay-Z if you could have him? The iconic Nike has undergone some subtle changes from back in the day but it has kept its cultural value. Whether it’s for leisure or the gym they’ve got you.
Converse Just like the Air Force 1s this piece of sneaker history is something needed. You don’t have to like them or wear them, just have them for historical purposes.
Richard Mofe Damijo in Air Force 1s
Adidas UltraBoost 20 Once you’ve had a feel of the UltraBoost 20, you can never go back. Made completely out of recyclable materials these shoes are known for their build and comfort.
Balenciaga Track 2 Yet another dad sneaker makes the list but unlike the New Balance, these are a more expensive option. The French luxury designer built these kicks with 176 pieces of materials that include nylon and mesh. Balenciaga crafted the Beige & Blue Track 2 pair so well you’d have 176 reasons why you should get one.
Puma Suede Classic Vans Low Top If you are looking for inexpensive options then stop looking because your search is over. These shoes offer you durability wrapped in a classic design.
One of Puma’s Classic made our list. Its classic design is the most popular since the brand’s existence and you can’t help but see why. Although the suede touch is relatively new, it is still a gift every dad can do with and the Grammy award-winning Wizkid also agrees.
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VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
COVER
FATHER’S DAY With TV’s Ebuka Obi-Uchendu I first met Ebuka Obi-Uchendu fresh off the Big Brother Nigeria season that shot him to limelight in 2006. Fifteen years ago could easily be a whole different lifetime looking back now, but yes, he was just as handsome, charming, smart, hungry for success, and driven by the desire to be much more than just a housemate on a reality show. Over time, our worlds would intersect with him and I writing for the same newspaper at some point as he pursued a career in media as a single, young man. With time, he has become a household name and face, appearing in ad campaigns, billboards, anchoring tv shows, and hosting live events, Ebuka’s world has also expanded from that young bright-eyed and bushy-tailed twenty-something-year-old that I first met. He wedded the love of his life, Cynthia in January of 2016 at a high-octane ceremony held in Abuja (where his family is based) that drew the cream of entertainment crop from Lagos to celebrate with him and his then-new bride. Since then, they have welcomed two beautiful daughters Jewel who is now 4 years old and Ruby who is 2. When I called him up to set up this interview and photoshoot- he agreed with very little arm-twisting on my part as he responded jokingly, “How can I say no?” I guess those days of humble beginnings still count for something after all! The photo session is a breeze as Ebuka does what he does best- bringing his fashion and modeling A-game to the table. In a little over half an hour, we are done shooting but not before his wife joins us and it’s a whole jovial affair. She playfully mentions that he bears a passing resemblance to Will Smith from behind and I see it immediately which sets off another round of jokes and laughter. In that moment I get a glimpse of what their life looks like and how Ebuka the brand, host, presenter has indeed become husband and daddy- the most important role of any man’s life. Interview & Words by DOWNTOWN Editor - Latasha Ngwube Photography by Tosin Akinyemiju
Interview Assisted & Transcribed by Kehinde Fagbule. PAGE 8
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hat was growing up like for you from the perspective of a father-son relationship? So I had a very interesting relationship with my dad. There are 3 of us kids and I’m the middle child; but I don’t have the middle-child syndrome, maybe because I was the last born for a long time; I’m twelve years older than my younger brother. My dad worked in the Central Bank at the time and he got moved around a lot, so growing up, we lived in Lagos, Calabar, Yola, Enugu and Abuja. We didn’t always have to move with our dad because it became a lot, so at a point, my mum and us kids were stationed in Benin and he would come and go. So he wasn’t always around, but not because he didn’t want to, he was working. My dad is very traditional, very Catholic; I don’t know what that combination means *laughs* but it was an interesting sort of upbringing with him. He believed in traditional values, we went to the village 3-4 times a year, it was very important for him that we spoke Igbo growing up, we went to church regularly, and when I say regularly, I mean every day: morning mass. I was about 11 when we now moved to Abuja and everybody sort of came back and we stayed there with him for the longest before I left the family to move on my own. It was interesting as he had his ways of being traditional and whatnot but generally, it was a good relationship. He was there every time, even if he wasn’t there physically and I think that was what mattered most. What are some of the things that you’ve carried from childhood now into fatherhood? With your
dad, it was a father-son relationship, now you’re a girl-dad. Fundamentally, it is knowing that your family is first; my father never played with that. Wherever he was, whatever the situation was, it was never in doubt what was a priority for him because like I always say, the children never asked to be born, so if you bring people into this world, the least you can do is make sure they are okay and he was very conscious of that fact. He was also very glaring about what mattered to him; how he treated my mum was something that- you know growing up, you don’t know that it matters but when you look back, you realise “Okay, this was what this was about.” He was very intentional with certain things in his own way. I mean time and culture changes but looking back, he was very intentional about making sure my mum was happy, my mum was priority and we the kids were very fundamental, so if it was a great school and he could afford it, he definitely did and by the grace of God, I think that’s why we have turned out the way we are, not so bad today. I look at my kids today and I always look far in the future: where do I want them to be? Are they going to look back and say “Daddy thank you for what you’ve done?” Because whether you like it or not, it’s a lot of pressure. People might want to pretend like it’s nothing but these are human being lives in your hands and a lot of what they’re going to become is going to
VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
COVER be shaped by how you raise them whether you like it or not and I think about that a lot. So a lot of the decisions I make I’m very intentional about; I want them to be good people, I’m hoping they turn out to be good people and I want to build that foundation with them. Your dad was a banker, your mum is a nurse, how did you get into Law? First of all, nobody did what my mum did. My sister was supposed to do that, but she dropped it and studied Economics. My sister and brothers are both bankers and my younger brother studied engineering. I hated mathematics, so I always knew I wasn’t going to do anything relating to banking or medicine, it wasn’t an option for me. However, like I said, as much as my parents were very traditional people, especially my dad, he was never one to force opinions on you. He was never the dad that said, “Oh you have to be a doctor” which is very interesting considering how conservative he was. So it wasn’t a problem; I just knew that when I was done with school, he was like “So what next?” I figured I needed to study something that doesn’t have maths but was prestigious, so it was my decision; to be barrister without having the maths and they were fine with it. They’ve never been ones to force anything that they’re not sure you’re happy with. You’ve just emphasized on your dad being a traditional person. How much of that traditionalism made its way to you? Like I’ve said, time and culture changes, and because I was born in a different time, there were certain things that I could not take as a whole. However, the one thing I definitely have from them is the pride in my roots. Anybody who knows me know that I am very proudly Igbo. I don’t play around with my heritage I do not shy away from identifying with where I’m from and that came from my dad. It was a thing in my house and it was very normal, then when I come out and see that it’s a thing outside as well, I was like “Okay, this is very normal.” Speaking the language, being around my people, traveling back home a lot and just identifying with where I’m from is definitely a huge part of it. Of course, Catholicism is something that I am also very proud of, even though the pandemic has made church-going weird; but before that, it is something I don’t play around with as well. I know that there’s a big distinction between spirituality and religion and I always have also tried to make that distinction, so I might have my reservations here and there with whatever it is, even with conversations with my dad interestingly, but I hold on to that as well. So yeah, generally, I’m not as conservative as him because like I said, it’s a different time; but I also think he probably would’ve been this way if he was born in this time because like I said, he never forces opinion on people, so he was shaped a different way but he also sort of had that mindset where he believes people should be able to do what they want or live their life a certain way, so I think I got all of that from him. He just manifested conservatism more than anything else. Growing up, what was your ultimate career aspiration? I wanted to be a pilot. I lived in Benin at the time, we lived in GRA behind the airport. Planes would take off right over us and I used to be so fascinated with the fact that this thing was hanging right ahead of us and God forbid it dropped on us *laughs*. I really wanted to become a pilot until I realised that you needed to know math *laughs* so that dream died. I was fascinated with newscasters too. TV presenting wasn’t a thing back then, it was people who read the news. It was these people who you just watch and you’re like “Wow! They’re so eloquent”, but I never thought about it as a career, I just liked watching the news and watching them read it. Were you an expressive teen or did you keep to yourself? I kept to myself. I was a very painfully shy kid even up until almost when I was done with the university. I was the guy who people knew but never heard because I didn’t want to talk in public, I didn’t want to be seen, I was very shy. I wasn’t very confident either and it wasn’t because I didn’t know my worth, I just was the guy who was used to being alone; just leave me alone in my space, that was me. When I was even going to study law, it was like “Which court are you going to speak in?” Even until I did Big Brother. In fact, me going on Big Brother was a dare from my sister who was like “You, who dash you?” because she thought with my personality I’d never do a thing like that. So I was a very quiet kid. As a girl dad now, people say things like “My daughter is not going to date till she’s 30…” First of all, have you bought a gun? Not yet, but I will *laughs* I’m joking. I have this conversation with my wife a lot. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I hear the “Oh daddy, this is my boyfriend” for the first time. It happened
with my elder sister who is 7-8 years older than me. She’s married now with kids too. I remember one of the times that her boyfriend came around to see her those days, I was 11. I told him she wasn’t around and she was. It was more out of “Who is this one?” and this was me, an 11 year old boy, trying to protect someone who is a whole grown teenager. I know that time is going to come and I hope I can prepare myself enough by the time I get there and not get in the way of them flourishing enough because the world is a different place now. You need to literally put them in a bunker for them not to be able to fly with it; the world is in everybody’s palm. So I’ll just hopefully do the best I can when I get there. Hopefully I’m ready enough emotionally and mentally to handle that phase; but I mean I think it’s only normal, and I think it’s with kids generally because letting go is not very easy. Now with the kind of work that you do, how important is it for you to be positioned as something of a role model for your daughters in the entertainment work that you do? Extremely important because they see me on TV now and they think it’s just the office. I don’t think it has registered to them that this is what my daddy does. So when they say “Oh daddy, look at you,” it’s normal to them. However, I know my daughters are going to grow and see things and read things; and thankfully, I’ve always shaped my career in a way where scandal has never appealed to me. So you know you would always hear the saying “Whatever news is still good news as long as you’re in the news,” I’ve never subscribed to that. I tell people that I have a morbid phobia for being in blogs; even if you’re congratulating or hailing me, I don’t want it because I always know how the conversation devolves in the comments and all of that. I’m the guy who wants to be able to control my narrative in a way that when they are able to understand what I do and see, they see what it is that I actually do against what the world has decided that I am. So it is very important to me. Even with brands I work with, the kind of work I do, how I position myself even as a social butterfly, I’m very intentional about how I’m seen because I know that they’re going to see these and hopefully when they do, they’re proud of what I’ve been able to do. One of your daughters speaks three languages. Who and how? Jewel. Because they go to a French school. Jewel speaks English, French and Igbo. She also speaks Pidgin English better than my wife. That’s four languages *laughs*. Where did she get her soft ear from? I wonder, because I’m terrible with languages and I think my wife is worse so I don’t know where it came from *laughs*, but she’s really good. We intentionally took them to a French school because there was a whole plan of them being bilingual, so she picked up French. Back home, we passed instructions to domestic staff to only speak Igbo to them, which they do. When it comes to English, a couple of the domestic staff are not great with English, so it’s pidgin English they speak and it is interesting that at 4 years old, she knows who to talk to in what language. So sometimes we are downstairs and we’re hearing this broken English that looks like she’s in Benin and my wife is like “What the heck is going on?” *Laughs*. Then she comes down and switches to perfect English and goes to school, she speaks in French and then she’s with the nanny and she knows how to converse in Igbo. I find it fascinating and I just hope she’s able to hold on to it for as long as possible. From what you can see, if you can predict both your daughters’ careers, where do you think they’re headed? *Sighs* I always say my kids are going to work in NASA but my wife always laughs at me *laughs*. However, I find that Jewel (the older one) is very interested in lifestyle things which I don’t know what to make of. She’s also very opinionated and she’s also showing signs of interest in art: paintings and colours, I don’t know what that means, I’m guessing a creative of some
sort; but I still hold on to my NASA dreams *laughs*. Ruby on the other hand is 2, we still can’t tell a lot. The one thing I know for sure is she’s extremely independent-minded; way more than when Jewel was her age. She does things because she wants to do them. She’s also a very pleasant person, she’s a people’s person. I don’t know what that means yet but we’re going to nurse it. In your nuclear family of all women, how does it feel being the only man sometimes? Fine! Interestingly, I didn’t know how many kids I was going to have, but the one thing I always wanted was to have a girl first. I think it also comes from the fact that in my own family with my parents and siblings, my sister was the first and it kind of made sense to me how she held us and still kind of holds us together. So I’ve always wanted a girl first and that wish came through. In my house, for the longest time, I talked about things being normal to me, there’s always women around, there’s aunties, it was a normal sight for me. Also, I never grew up in a home where it was an “Oh you must have a boy” sort of mentality. Of course, it will happen with maybe extended family or whatever but I didn’t really have that sense in my house. So with me, having girls in the house is very normal and okay for me. I don’t even think about it. ...But your wife says she wants a son. *Laughs* well, we’ll see if that happens; but I’m fine honestly. With my two kids, I’m very happy with them. They’re showing me so much of God’s blessing. We were talking with an older family friend of ours and she says “You know what, one thing I’ve always wished for is healthy kids”. When you have friends or see families who are struggling with children who have health challenges, you understand that you don’t talk about gender; it’s not really that serious. What you want is healthy kids. My parents tell us today (there’s 3 boys and a girl in the family), my mother is always laughing and she’d ask “Who is now taking care of me now? It’s the girl.” It doesn’t mean that we’re not doing our part, but the one who checks up everyday, who’s like the family backbone is the one girl in the house, so all of that doesn’t really matter. I’m really happy with my family. In society at large now, there’s more of an awakening to traditional gender roles. Do you find yourself in conversations where you have to educate other men on nontraditional gender roles. For example, do you cook at home? I’m a terrible cook, so I don’t think even my family wants me to cook *laughs*. So that one is a no-no, I don’t like cooking. In my house, there are certain roles that might be defined but I don’t know that there are lines drawn in the sand on what you can do and what you can’t do. I go grocery shopping when I have
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COVER
conversation. I don’t know how that’s going to go. So I don’t want to picture it. Maybe when they meet in NASA, maybe it’d be another astronaut *laughs*.
Ebuka
I wasn’t particularly the most all-over-the-place person before, but I’m definitely way more centered now; my life has more meaning to it where there’s a purpose for why I do what I do. I had a good life as a single person but now I have an even better life and it’s all because of all the family has brought to me and I don’t take that for granted.”
to, I do things around the house if I have to, I clean up. It’s an unspoken rule and it’s also very important for me as well because my kids are growing up and seeing that “Oh daddy is in the kitchen today” or “daddy is washing clothes”, it’s not meant for anyone in particular. So having conversations with people around me, thankfully I have friends who think like me. The few who might not have in the past have also evolved to a point where they understand the position I am with me. I don’t come in contact with a lot of people who are that way. When I do, I try. And if I can’t, I move on because I know that sometimes things are so ingrained in people that it’s hard to keep them in the conversation, but for the majority of people who I surround myself with, I don’t know that those sort of things are an issue whether in their homes or in conversations we have because we’re all kind of understanding. The world is a different place. As much as people might say differently, we understand where we are heading and why there’s a need for balance to occur. I mean it’s cool that my wife is a better cook than me so I will never take that for granted. So I’d encourage her like “That your pasta the other day, can you make it again?” If I could cook, of course I would. With each season, it gets even more incredible. Would a time come when you’d be happy to see your daughters in Big Brother Naija? That’d be their decision to make. I went for Big Brother at a time when it was different from what it is now and I always say that it is a very mentally draining show as much as I’m the host of it; which is why I tell people. Thankfully before people go on the show, they have a whole session with a psychologist who talks them through what they are about to go into so they’re prepared; and even after they’re out. Which is why sometimes when the fans go into this “dragging-mode”, I’m like “You guys don’t know what these people are going through, it is very tough work.” Would I be happy? (about my girls on the show) I don’t really know. They need to understand what they are doing themselves before they can say “I really want to do this.” If it’s just to get famous, of course not, you are not doing that. There’s nothing worse than going on big brother just to blow and not have a plan for what you really want to go there and do or why you want to go there and do that. I mean I went for the money when I went because I needed it to pay for my Masters. It didn’t work but at least I had a bit of a purpose going in there. So I don’t know about “happy” until I get to that point but they must be sure they’re doing it for the right reasons. How do you think your wife and daughters would rate you as a father? If you ask Ruby, who is the younger kid, she’d probably rate me a 20/10. She’s obsessed with me and I’m obsessed with her which I love. She’s speaking a little but not enough yet to tell me how she really feels *laughs*, so I’m getting away with a lot. Jewel on the other hand is very opinionated. She’s very perceptive now so she reads moods and all of that. I mean I love her to death, everyone says we look alike and I can’t see it. So she’ll probably give me an 8/10 because a few times I’m the one to tell her “Stop that and sit down!” With my wife, since I’m the one speaking and rating myself for her, because I think we have a pretty good marriage to be honest. It’s impossible for us not to have some drama. I mean even this morning we had a back and forth over something very trivial *laughs*. Those would happen, but those are like opinions on things, not necessarily things that are fundamental to the marriage. Things like that when you have a whole 1-hour debate, sometimes
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with tempers flare and then 5 minutes later I’m taking food from her plate. So fundamentally, I think we have a good marriage as we don’t have that many deep issues that worry us. Because of that, I want to believe she’ll give me an 8/10. Who is the stricter parent of the two of you? Oh, I. Before we had kids, my wife swore that it was going to be her and I was going to be the softie. I was like okay we’ll see. The kids even know. It’s funny I’ve never hit them, I don’t spank them or anything, but I’ve had maybe one or two yelling sessions and I’ve had a lot more conversations than anything else. However, for some reason, anytime I yell, there’s some shaking and I don’t know how I feel about that because I also don’t want to alienate them to a point where it’s like daddy is not that cool. So I try to balance it out as much as I can but I’m definitely tougher than my wife. My wife is more about bringing you to cuddle you. What surprises you the most about yourself now that you’re a dad. Like when you look back and you’re “Ebuka the baby boy” barely 5 years ago and now you’re the father of two. Yeah. A lot of times the kids are playing and I looking at them thinking “Wow! I actually have two children” *laughs*. It happens a lot and Jewel will catch me then ask “Daddy why are you looking at me?” *laughs* I also constantly just wonder if I’m doing this right. Hope I’m doing this parenting thing right. What surprises me the most is I actually thought I’d be a hitter or a spanker. I didn’t think I’d do it often, but I thought I’d have more reasons to do it; I’ve never had a reason to do it. I don’t know if it surprises me but it’s interesting now, how whatever money I make, one of the first things I think of is family before the baby boy life. It’s interesting to me now that I get paid or do a deal or whatever it is and I’m thinking “Okay, family, what’s the plan with this and that?” before I start thinking about my own flexing or whatever. Maybe it’s not surprising but it’s interesting how that has shifted. Cast into the future. Describe the ideal young man for your daughters. Eh! God forbid. I don’t think I want to do that. When we get to that bridge *laughs*. I’m actually honestly not ready for that
What’s your favourite thing about fatherhood? I’m very centered now. I wasn’t particularly the most all-over-the-place person before, but I’m definitely way more centered now; my life has more meaning to it where there’s a purpose for why I do what I do. I’m responsible for people’s lives so I’m more intentional about how I act, the things I do, the things I choose, which makes me a much more centered and grounded human being. So yes, I really appreciate that. I had a good life as a single person but now I have an even better life and it’s all because of all the family has brought to me and I don’t take that for granted. Did you witness the birth of your daughters? Both of them. How did you feel? I always say - especially with the first because it was the first - in my 38 years of life, it is the most humbling thing I’ve ever seen. I thought I knew what to expect until the journey started and the whole 14-16-hour labour period of my wife and the pain and the hospital, going into labour and watching a human being come alive. I was speechless for a very long time because I was just wondering wow life is really really interesting. Second time again, I kind of knew what to expect but it still wowed. I tell my wife every time: women are superheroes. It’s mind boggling; the transformation, the beauty of it at the end of the day and a whole human comes alive. Most humbling thing I’ve ever witnessed. Is it safe to say that you’re a feminist? Yes, but I also hear that there’s different kinds of feminists, so I don’t know what kind I am… And I said “I hear” because I’m not the most versed in this topic and I don’t want to take ownership of it. I believe in the equality of men and women and I think that’s the fundamental root of feminism. I don’t know what other parts there are but equality? Yes. Do you see yourself maybe one day, being the center of a reality TV show around you and your family? I doubt it entirely. My wife is not the most excited about things like that, so I don’t know that she’s going to be the type to open our life to the public. I’m also very protective of my family generally because I always say they didn’t choose this life, I did. I’m the one who asked to be famous or be a celebrity or be on the TV, they necessarily didn’t. So my kids in particular, I also want for them to form their opinions on what they want to do. Yes, being on the TV might not necessarily be the worst thing that happens to them but opening them up to public opinion and scrutiny at a young age, I don’t know if I’m ready for that and what it could turn into. I mean we know what happens on social media now. There was a celebrity who posted her kid’s picture online a few days ago and I was seeing some of the most insensitive comments about a 1-year old. So I don’t know that I want to do that to them because you can’t control what people are going to say. I doubt it very highly.
VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
BY BOLUWATIFE ADESINA
Father’s Day:
Scan this with your camera to access the playlist (Apple Music)
Scan this with your camera to access the playlist (Spotify)
Father’s DayPlaylist
The 5 Best Father-Son Relationships on TV and Film Very little can match the love, care and dedication that forms up the very best fatherson bonds. Over the pandemic / lockdown months, new life has been breathed into familial ties, father-son relationships included. For The Review, I thought I would celebrate the best, tightest paternal bonds on television and in movies.
Chris Gardener and Chris Jr. - The Pursuit of Happyness Portrayed by real-life father and son Will and Jaden Smith , Pursuit of Happyness is carried along by the strength of the love between father and son. Based on a true story, the film puts both father and son through a gauntlet of challenges that leave them penniless and alone, but it is when they are at their lowest that their bond takes on a new, powerful meaning. The genuine, truly symbiotic relationship between the two is special to watch.
Homer and Bart Simpson - The Simpsons For 32 (!!!) years, Bart and Homer have bickered, fought and reconciled, usually within the same episode. This relationship stands out among the others on this list in that due to the sitcom format, it doesn’t really evolve much. On some level however, this is part of the charm. Every party knows their role. Bart messes up, Homer chokes him, they make up. It’s consistent without becoming stale. That in itself is an achievement.
Mufasa and Simba- The Lion King For a movie inspired by William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet,” Disney’s “The Lion King” isn’t, understandably, nearly as bloody or convoluted as its source material. However, it is often placed next to “Bambi” for revolving around the traumatic loss of a parent. In this case, we see little Simba (voiced by Jonathan Taylor Thomas) attempt to wake his father Mufasa (voiced by James Earl Jones) who has just been trampled to death in a stampede.
Will and Uncle Phil - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Reasons we loved The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: 1) For having one of the catchiest theme tunes on TV (because if you can’t rap it word for word, did you even have a childhood?). And 2) for its standout secondary characters, including irascible Uncle Phil. While he was better known for his hilarious furious outbursts, it was the dynamic of Will and his Uncle Phil’s relationship we loved most in the show. From comforting Will when his father left to busting him out of jail when Will and Carlton got themselves arrested, Uncle Phil was guaranteed to always be there when you needed him. Because while Lou might have been Will’s biological father, Uncle Phil was his dad. If you didn’t cry at that moment when Will asked, “How come he don’t want me, man?” and Uncle Phil wrapped his arms around him and let him weep in silence, then you are a bonafide monster, my friend.
John Lennon- Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) - Remastered 2010
Michael Jackson -To Make My Father Proud - Original Mix
Slick Rick-It’s A Boy
Rufus Wainwright- Dinner At Eight
Queen Father To Son Remastered 2011
Nat King Cole-Unforgettable
Bob Seger-Still The Same Remastered
Sarah McLachlan Song For My Father
Gladys Knight & The Pips-Daddy Could Swear
Netflix Watch of the Week: As Simba nips at his father’s ear, tries to get underneath his father’s paws, and tries other ways to instill life not unlike their previous playtime, it marks a turning point for the character in understanding that his father is gone. Until this time, Mufasa has not only been a father, but a mentor who taught Simba the ways to be a strong king. The interactions between father and son are unique in that Mufasa isn’t coy in emphasizing that one day he won’t be around to protect his son. Similar to the “great kings of the past,” Simba grows up to realize his father isn’t truly gone, but guides him, unseen, through what Mufasa has taught him. No one wants to face their parent’s mortality, but in “The Lion King” the theme of the circle of life is evident and revered.
Sweet Tooth Eddard “Ned ”Stark- Game Of Thrones 11 years after, it’s easy to forget just how seminal the death of Ned Stark was in the history of television. Sean Bean was the face on every billboard, on every commercial and he was dead (Spoiler) before the season was over. As a father, his influence lives on long after his passing, with his progeny all displaying different traits of his. As the father of many of the show’s most important characters, Ned Stark’s role as a father was certainly an important one. He had to get it right in order to get the characters to be morally strong and that’s exactly what they were, with all of his children turning out to be great people. Even though Ned isn’t in the show as long as many of the other characters, that doesn’t stop him from making his mark. It’s clear to see that he wants all of his children to be responsible for their actions, and the fact that even on his way to be killed, Ned focuses on making sure Arya is safe proves what type of person he is. Happy Father’s Day!
Imagine if Bambi had been born into a dystopian future full of fear, hate crimes and a deadly virus. Mix those elements in a blender and you’ve got Sweet Tooth, Netflix’s latest fantasy drama. Adapted from the DC Comics story of the same name by Jeff Lemire, the eight-episode series follows Gus, a lovable boy who’s half-human and halfdeer, as he searches for a new beginning following a personal tragedy. With help from a gruff, no-nonsense man (Nonso Anozie)who eventually becomes
his protector, the boy must quickly adapt to his new role in a newly deconstructed society. His life depends on it. Sweet Tooth is sweet, earnest and a breezy watch. If you like Stranger Things or Shadow and Bone, this series has a similar energy. Now Streaming
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VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
Travis Greene with his children _ Image From IG @travisgreenetv
BEAUTY
TREATS FOR DAD THIS
FATHER’S DAY BY ONAH NWACHUKWU
A
nother Father’s Day and I’ll bet you are wondering what to gift dad this year. I know, deciding on the perfect gift for a man can be quite overwhelming, more so, when this man is your dad. I find that even the manliest dad responds to pampering, maybe not immediately, but they eventually do, so why not aim at his soft side this Father’s Day. Ditch the toolbox set for some beauty or should I say, grooming supplies this year.
At-home Teeth Whitening Device Is there anyone who doesn’t want a brighter smile? It’s been said that the whiter the smile, the younger one looks, so knock a few years off dad’s look with this awesome gift. I bet he’ll love it.
Personal Teeth Whitening Device GLO
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BEAUTY
Imagination LOUIS VUITTON
Perfume Perfume is always a good idea to gift dad, especially when it’s the new fragrance from a luxury brand. So why not gift him the latest scent by Louis Vuitton.
Facial and Mani-Pedi Session
Water Flosser BURST
The metrosexual dad will love this. Any excuse for some pampering and grooming at the same time. So book him a session at a good spa, and throw in a luxury face cream to keep him going until his next appointment.
Research Creme Concentrate TOM FORD
Water Flosser Active Clay Cleanser DERMALOGICA
Face Wash Some dads won’t go for a facial no matter how satisfying you insist that it might be. A good substitute for this type of dad is face wash. Now you don’t want to overwhelm him with a range of products, so get him an all-in-one product.
This one is for the tech dads. There’s nothing like a new gadget for them, and this highpowered water pick is just right to floss his teeth with. The battery lasts up to 80 hours after it has been charged. He’ll love it.
Masculin Pluriel Scented Shower Cream MAISON FRANCIS KURKDJIAN
Massage Image From IG @orikigroup Beard Oil ORIKI
Beard Oil For the dad who grows his beard, beard oil will help soften it while giving it that groomed look.
Massage Session
Luxury Shower Wash or Gel And Antiperspirant Make dad’s time in the shower more refreshing with some high-end products. And while you’re at it, don’t forget body lotion and antiperspirant.
If your dad is the type that is always busy then book him a massage session to calm the stress. Too busy to go to the spa, then bring the massage parlor to him; thank heavens for mobile spas. Oud Wood Deodorant Stick TOM FORD
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HEALTH
CLIPPED BUT STILL
EQUIPPED
All you need to know about getting a Vasectomy BY KEHINDÉ FAGBULE
F
or so long, in a traditional family of a man and woman, the decision of how many kids to have is always at the forefront with everything from financing to task delegations (which has always been code for a woman taking care of her baby primarily) sort of culminating to arrive at a final number of tiny humans to bring to the world and the spacing between them to keep whatever family dynamic the couple dreamt of. The human reproduction conversation is a beautiful one. A divine exercise that ensures that the human race never goes extinct. Perhaps the biggest facet of a family and society at large, childbirth is one of the biggest expectations of an individual’s life. However, it has not been a straightforward dialogue between both genders. The biological design puts the woman in charge as the vessel and an ideal world would have them calling all the shots on issues of issues. Pregnancy, a journey considered by many to be extremely challenging, has been the oldest rite of passage for every woman since time immemorial; so much that when a woman doesn’t get so psyched about having a baby sometime in the future, society assumes she has a brain tumour as there’s no way she would even think about it. Children are a heritage and an undoubted joy to have and watching them grow is about as fulfilling as anything else. However, as with anything else in life, the whole process of making them requires planning. The planned parenthood industry since its inception has been centred around women as the subject matters and men as the decision-makers. When a couple reaches its set target of offspring to welcome into their family, conversations then begin on how to put a stop to the whole childbirth experience. These conversations feature a variety of options such as the condom, oral contraceptive pill, intrauterine device (IUD), contraceptive implant and injection, emergency contraception pill (the ‘morning after’ pill), contraceptive ring, diaphragm and sterilisation; all of these of course, excluding the man. So why is nobody talking about our options? There have been few changes in male contraception compared with the range of options available to women. Although there’s ongoing research into a male contraceptive pill, there is not one available yet. At the moment, the 2 contraceptive methods available to men are: Condoms – a barrier form of contraception that stops sperm from reaching and fertilising an egg. Vasectomy – a minor surgical procedure that stops sperm from reaching the semen ejaculated from the penis. Usually more effective than the condom. The withdrawal method of taking your penis out
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of your partner’s vagina before ejaculating is not a method of contraception. This is because sperm can be released before ejaculation and cause pregnancy. Let’s dive deeper into vasectomy…
Vasectomy — also called male sterilization
— is a surgical procedure. It is meant to protect against pregnancy permanently, so it’s super effective. Sperm — the microscopic cells that join up with an egg to cause pregnancy — are made in your testicles. Sperm leaves the testicles through two tubes called the vas deferens, and mixes with other fluids to make semen. The sperm in your semen can cause pregnancy if it gets into a vagina. A vasectomy blocks or cuts each vas deferens tube, keeping sperm out of your semen. Sperm cells stay in your testicles and are absorbed by your body. Starting about 3 months after a vasectomy, your semen won’t contain any sperm, so it can’t cause pregnancy. But you’ll still have the same amount of semen you did before. There just won’t be any sperm in it. Vasectomies don’t change the way having an orgasm or ejaculating feels. Your semen will still look, feel, and taste the same after a vasectomy — it just won’t be able to get anybody pregnant.
Here’s What You Should Know About Vasectomies
What can I expect if I have a vasectomy? A vasectomy is an easy surgical procedure. It’s really quick, and you can go home right after. You’ll need to rest for a couple of days after the vasectomy. Does getting a vasectomy hurt? Probably not. Your doctor will help make your vasectomy as comfortable as possible. You’ll get local anaesthesia to numb your testicles, so you shouldn’t feel much during
the procedure. You may also get medicine to help you relax. You may have a little discomfort when you get the numbing shot or when the vas deferens tubes are handled during the procedure. But overall, you shouldn’t feel too much pain. There are two types of vasectomies: one that requires an incision (a cut in your skin), and one that’s incision-free (no-scalpel or no-cut). What happens during an incision vasectomy? The doctor makes one or two small cuts in the skin of your scrotum. Through these cuts, the tubes that carry sperm (vas deferens) are blocked off. Sometimes, a tiny part of each tube is removed. The tubes may be tied, blocked with surgical clips, or closed with an electrical current (this is called cauterizing). The whole thing takes about 20 minutes, and then the cut is stitched up. What happens during a no-scalpel vasectomy? The doctor makes one tiny puncture (hole) to reach both vas deferens tubes — the skin of your scrotum isn’t cut with a scalpel. Your tubes are then tied off, cauterized, or blocked. The small puncture heals quickly. You won’t need stitches, and there’s no scarring. No-scalpel methods — also called no-cut or noincision — reduce bleeding and lower the risk of infection, bruising, and other complications. How will I feel after my vasectomy? You can go home and rest right after your vasectomy. You may feel some discomfort or pain after your vasectomy, but you shouldn’t be in terrible pain. You may also have some bruising and/or swelling for a few days. Wearing snug underwear that doesn’t let your testicles move too much, taking over-the-counter pain medication, and icing your genitals can help ease any pain.
VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
HEALTH And don’t do any hard physical work or exercise for a week after your vasectomy. Call your doctor if you have: • A fever over 37°C. • Blood or pus coming from where the cut was made in your scrotum. • Lots of pain or swelling in your scrotum or testicle area. These signs could mean you have an infection and need antibiotics. How long will it take me to recover after my vasectomy? Most people only need to rest for a few days after their vasectomy. If your job is physically demanding, you’ll have to take about a week off from work. You shouldn’t exercise or do any hard physical work for about a week after your vasectomy. How soon can I have sex after my vasectomy? Usually, you can start having sex again about a few days to a week after your vasectomy. Some people wait longer. If having sex is uncomfortable, wait a few more days. Just remember that the vasectomy WON’T prevent pregnancy right away.
It takes about 3 months after your vasectomy for your semen to be sperm-free. Your doctor will test your semen and tell you when the sperm are gone and the vasectomy is working as birth control. To collect a semen sample, you’ll masturbate into a cup or use a special condom when you have sex. Until your doctor says there’s no sperm in your semen, you should use condoms or another form of birth control during vaginal sex. What are the disadvantages of getting a vasectomy? A vasectomy is designed to be permanent, so you can’t change your mind later. And like all medical procedures, vasectomies have some risks. Vasectomies are meant to be permanent. Even if you get your vasectomy reversed, your fertility may never come back. Vasectomy reversal surgery is complicated and expensive and doesn’t always work. So you should only get a vasectomy if you’re totally certain you don’t want to get someone pregnant for the rest of your life. Vasectomies can have some risks. Overall, vasectomies are very safe, and most people don’t have any problems. But all medical procedures have some possible risks. The most common risk with a vasectomy is an infection, but those are usually minor and treatable with antibiotics. You may also have some pain, bleeding, bruising, or swelling after the procedure. Vasectomies don’t prevent STDs. A vasectomy won’t prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections. Semen can still carry STDs, even if it doesn’t contain sperm. The best way to protect yourself and your partner from STDs is to get tested regularly and use condoms.
Why should I get a vasectomy? As men, we get to a point where we are done with procreation and we just want to live the time we have left with the family we have created (or not, to each his own). Getting a vasectomy automatically eliminates the anxiety that comes with an unplanned pregnancy. “Vasectomy is the least invasive permanent and effective form of birth control,” said Dr Ryan Berglund, a urologist at the Cleveland Clinic, USA. “For couples that desire no further children, it can be a cost-effective way of preventing this from occurring.” Here’s what a couple of urologists have to say about all that’s good and great about getting snipped: 1. Vasectomies are incredibly effective. Men have a less than 1 percent chance of getting a partner pregnant after this procedure. Yes, that’s more effective than rubbers or birth control pills. 2. The risks are low. All surgeries carry risks, but vasectomies are usually uncomplicated. There is about a 2 to 3 percent chance of infection, bleeding, or pain. Significant pain may occur in up to 10 percent of men, often resulting from the accumulation of sperm upstream of the vasectomy. 3. It shouldn’t affect sexual functioning. Vasectomies involve cutting the tube that transports sperm, there is no change in hormones, and the penis is not part of the procedure. For most men, sexual functioning is no different post-vasectomy. “Sexual function rarely changes after the procedure, except in the case of a patient developing a chronic pain condition,” said Berglund. There may be a 10 per cent drop in the volume of fluid that comes out during ejaculation, but Dr Michael Eisenberg, a urologist at Stanford Health Care, says men and their partners are unlikely to notice a difference.
4. You still make sperm. Vasectomies don’t halt sperm production, they keep your swimmers from coming out and the sperm are eventually reabsorbed into the body. Men who’ve been snipped may be inspired to contemplate the strange reality of absorbing their unused sex cells (something that the female body does too). 5. It’s quick. Picturing a lengthy operation? Berglund said that the whole procedure takes about 10 minutes. Eisenberg added five more minutes for setup and cleanup. The whole appointment takes about an hour. 6. ...And it’s usually done in the doctor’s office. This surgery is so simple that it’s often done right in your doctor’s office. (On rare occasions, more complicated cases may warrant the use of an operating room.) 7. The surgery is simple. Vasectomies are wonderfully straightforward. The scrotum is opened and the two vas deferens (tubes that carry sperm from the testicles) are cut and stitched shut. That’s it. 8. You can understand it. Unlike a lot of medical information, the low-down on vasectomies is easy to access and clear to understand. 9. It only requires a local anaesthetic. Being put under can be one of the most dangerous parts of having surgery. Most vasectomies only require local anaesthetic, like lidocaine. “It is often done under local anaesthesia so that one feels a needle initially and then it just feels like an exam,” said Eisenberg. 10. There are no-scalpel vasectomies. This kind of vasectomy uses a special tool to open the
scrotum, and the incision is so small that it’s not even stitched closed afterwards. 11. Recovery is fast. Seven to 10 days is the standard time for a full recovery. “While I’ve had men ride horses the next day, I’d prefer that they lay low,” says Eisenberg. He recommends low activity and liberal use of an ice pack for two days and avoiding sexual activity for a week (Sorry). 12. It costs less than kids. Raising a child in Nigeria is a lot of things but cheap. Whilst we strive daily to give them the best quality of life, getting a vasectomy is way cheaper and more definite. 13. Your partner will be grateful. Both Eisenberg and Berglund said that partners (who know about vasectomy) often appreciate the help with birth control. Because there are so many birth control options for women, contraceptive decisions, and actions tend to fall on women in a relationship. Since the balance of responsibility will feel restored, perhaps you can coax her into that one mischief you’ve always wanted. 14. It simplifies sex. So long as you have a committed partner, a successful vasectomy allows for an incredible level of sexual freedom. No more wondering whether she took her pill or if the condom broke. No more late-night runs for pregnancy tests because she feels a little off. This is the safest way to put concerns about an “oops” baby to rest. 15. It’s reversible (technically). Vasectomies should be considered permanent. They are not temporary birth control. Reversing a vasectomy is costly and may not be successful (Eisenberg says about 90 per cent are successful when done by urologists with special training in microsurgery). Insurance rarely covers a vasectomy reversal, so while it may comfort a man to know vasectomy reversals exist, it should not be a factor in deciding whether he will get one. If you want a vasectomy but may still want kids, consider freezing sperm before the surgery. Vasectomies can be done in private or government hospitals at the average cost of Fifty Thousand Naira only.
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VOL 1 NO.19 • JUNE 20 – JUNE 26, 2021
FASHION
WORDS to EAT by
DOWNTOWN EATS
UZO ORIMALADE
Surprise!!!!!!! I am quiet. This is an awkward phone call. The type that happens when a woman you thought was your forever and a day lover ghosts you. After 11 months together, she disappeared. She stopped taking my calls, text messages went unanswered, her parents told me to stop coming around and she would see me when she was ready. I thought about everything and could not find a reason we went from joined at the hip to nothing. I moved on. I had no choice. Buried myself in work and tried not to think about her. ‘I need to see you. I have a lot to tell you. I need to explain....’ I want to get off the phone. However, I am curious. That and the fact that I am angry, and I miss her. ‘I only have time over the weekend. Let us get this over with’ ‘Does Sunday work for you?’ ‘Come to my place’ I hang up. I mentioned I am not much of a talker.
We need to tell these management folks that meetings need to be brief. It is Monday morning. My to-do list is so long and includes things from last week. So, this meeting that started at 8am and is still going at 11am is annoying me. Stop talking so much I think to myself. There seems to be a contest to see who can talk too much and not actually say anything. A contest that does not include me. I am more of an observer than a talker. At work. In all aspects of my life. This job takes up so much of a life. What I do, where I work does not matter. What matters is that I have a uniform consisting of white dress shirts, black, navy blue and grey suits, solid-coloured ties and black or brown dress shoes. I attend meetings, I write reports, I make presentations. I arrive early and close late. Sometimes, I meet friends after work for drinks and music. Jazz is my thing. Home is a too large apartment in a trendy part of town that is more a place to sleep than a cozy haven. Meeting done and I am finally at my desk. My phone has several missed calls from an unfamiliar number. I return the call as I turn my laptop on. ‘Yes’, I say when the call connects. ‘Hi’ I recognize her voice. I have not heard it in months, but I know this voice. ‘Hi’ I say. ‘I am sorry I never returned your calls and messages. I just needed time....’
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sunday afternoon. She sent a message with 2pm as her arrival time. I have made some sticky succulent cola wings. She loves them. The doorbell rings. I open the door. She is even more beautiful than I remember. She smiles and says ‘Hi’ I feel like I have been punched in the gut. I want to reach for her, I want to shut the door and send her away. Drama and emotional rollercoaster rides are not my thing. ‘Can we come in?’ I step aside. And register two things. She said we. And she is carrying something. A car seat thing. I am confused. We. Car seat? I look up at her. She smiles and her eyes have unshed tears in them. ‘Happy Father’s Day. We made a baby’
Cola Wings You will need: • 1kg chicken wings – separated • Vegetable or canola oil • 1 small onion - diced • 4 cloves garlic – minced • 1 tablespoon ginger – grated • 1 can cola • tablespoons light soy sauce • 1 tablespoon lemon juice • 1 tablespoon rice/white/apple cider vinegar • 1 habanero pepper – finely diced • Salt to taste • Cilantro – about a ¼ cup • African Basil – 5 large leaves (scent leaf)
How to: • Wash chicken wings and pat dry with kitchen towel • Use a pot or pan wide enough to have chicken wings in a single layer • Add enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan and heat • Add the onions, garlic and ginger to the pan and stir for 1 minute on medium heat • Add the chicken wings and stir. Cook for about 5 minutes so the wings just begin to brown. • Add the coca cola, soy sauce, lemon juice, vinegar and habanero pepper and stir • Bring to a boil, lower heat, and cover pot • Let simmer and cook for about 10 – 15 minutes. • Stir and coat the wings well. The sauce should be thick, and syrupy at this point. Cook longer if necessary • Taste and add salt and pepper • Add the cilantro and basil. Use more or less based on what you prefer and stir • Serve the wings covered with any leftover sauce in the pan and enjoy!!!