THEWILL DOWNTOWN AUG. 01 EDITION by THEWILL NEWSPAPER

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 7, 2021

INTRODUCING:

THE WILLIAMS Debola & Kenny’s Love Story

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VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

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EDITOR’S NOTE

“THOU SHALT LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR AS THYSELF.”

almost scoffed at this while reading my Bible today considering the amount of mental and emotional stress I’ve been inundated with this past week. For those who didn’t know already, my newly hired driver pulled an Italian job and stole my car. More like, “Sayanora neighbour!” must have been the words he muttered to himself as he chose not to love thy neighbour. However, I’ve chosen not to let this hiccup ruin the love this week’s issue serves up.

CONTENTS

COVER STORY:

INTRODUCING: THE WILLIAMS DEBOLA & KENNY’S LOVE STORY

In this Exclusive love inspired double cover issue we have two interviews that prove that not all relationships end in premium tears, chivalry isn’t indeed dead and love conquers all. Love, they say, is a beautiful thing. As we all search for the love we deserve, it’s important to celebrate the ones who have conquered the quest and found the answer to the age-old question of “God when?” because for Kehinde and Debola Williams, the answer is NOW! Sitting with The Williams just before their big day was simply delightful and I’ll leave you to enjoy our exclusive interview! Congratulations to the latest couple in town, we pray that God blesses your union. Be safe and you’ll see us next week.

LATASHA NGWUBE @latashalagos

AUSTYN OGANNAH

PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Editor: Latasha Ngwube Editor-at-Large: Chalya Shagaya Beauty Editor: Onah Nwachukwu @onahluciaa Contributing Editor: Odun Ogunbiyi @oddbodandthecity Senior Writer: Chisom Njoku @inchisomwetrust Contributing Writer: Boluwatife Adesina @bolugram Uzo Orimalade @uzosfoodlabs House Photographer: Rachel Seidu @rachelseidu Graphics/Layout: Olatunji Samson Digital Media: Oladimeji Balogun Interns: Kehinde Fagbule, Tilewa Kazeem Guest Art Director: Sunny Hughes ‘ SunZA’ www.thewilldowntown.com thewilldowntown thewilldowntown

R E L AT I O N S H I P S

Distance? What Distance? Tips To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

08-09 B E AU T Y

GROOMED TO SAY “I DO” PAGE 3

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

RELATIONSHIPS

Distance? What Distance?

Tips To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work Ekubo and Fancy Acholonu. Here are a few things you should try.

Make The Most Of Modern Day Technology

BY KEHINDÉ FAGBULE “The time apart, the distance; they make our relationship better. I like having the time to miss him, to remember why I wanted to be with him in the first place,” a friend shared her experience being in a long-distance relationship. According to psychologists, when people meet and are infatuated with each other, it is generally thought that the initial surge of emotion lasts longer when the couple is separated. Eventually, there is a risk of decreasing affection, and for those who are beyond the infatuation phase, there is a great risk in separation, but also a greater potential benefit. One of the greatest benefits is that you learn a lot about each other when you spend more time having conversations than you would have done watching Netflix or participating in activities together. While long-distance relationships have their challenges, the outlook is not grim as long as the couple is committed to making it work. An example of a relationship that stood the long-distance test is that of Alexx

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The internet has made longdistance relationships easier than ever as we have so many ways to stay in touch. A lot of the glue of a relationship is in the dayto-day minutia, and with technology, you can share that in real-time, instantaneously, with photos, texts, and FaceTime. Also, because people in long-distance relationships rely more heavily on technology to stay connected, in some ways tech allows them to communicate verbally even more than couples who see each other [often], but sit in the same room not interacting at all. The downside to this, however, is that we sometimes get bored of the millions of texts and try to water down the experience or take it for granted. You should share specific details with your partner rather than merely generalising. For example, don’t just say, “I went to this dinner and had a great time.” Instead, delve into the details. Talk about who was there, what you talked about, what you ate, and how it made you feel. It will make every day come alive for your partner even though they weren’t there to witness it.

be amazing for a while, but eventually, you’ll probably want to be together in the same place as your loved one. Knowing when that will happen is helpful to both parties. It’s hard being apart, so you both have to be on the same page about how long this situation will last, and what the plan is for ultimately living in the same place

Have As Much Dates As You Would If You Were In The Same City Just because you aren’t physically in the same place doesn’t mean you can’t have fun together. Netflix, or other streaming services, makes it easier than ever to binge-watch shows with your partner. Online quizzes or games are other activities you could do together, and discussing the results helps spark new and interesting conversations.

Make Fun Plans

Get excited about what the two of you will do next time you see one another. Make it a ritual to talk about the fun things you’ll do together. You could have plans of trying new restaurants when you get together instead of going to the same places. This will create something that both partners can look forward to. Also, you can plan your weekends together on Fridays. Lastly, it’s a good idea to schedule ‘good night’ video calls when you’re both in your pyjamas to create a sense of sleeping together.

Don’t Give Room For Trust Issues

An insecure partner may check in on their

Set An End Date

It’s true long-distance love can

See Each Other Regularly Maintaining long-distance relationships requires you to see each other regularly, know when you’ll see each other and trust the other person to honour that commitment. You don’t want to go long periods without seeing each other. There are several options to make that happen today, there’s really no excuse.

Set Clear Rules And Boundaries

Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want the other person to see on social media. Do your best to stay out of situations that might make your long-distance partner feel uncomfortable or threatened — within reason. You don’t need to seek permission or get approval before each social interaction with your partner, but you should establish clear rules and boundaries that benefit both of you.

Be Committed to the Relationship

The first step to making a long-distance relationship work is to know that you are truly committed to the person before wasting your precious time. For college students overseas, however, this is a lot more imperative. Maintaining an LDR in college abroad is harder as a lot happens on and off-campus to create testing situations in comparison to adult relationships.

partner too much, which can result in excessive phone calls or texts for the wrong reasons and create unnecessary tension. When couples communicate constructively, they give each other an insight into their lives and what is important to them. However, the moment communication is hijacked by insecurity, the anxious partner will always seek reassurance, and the other partner will be turned off by the constant checking in. Couples separated by distance must have similar levels of interaction as when they are both at home. It must be at a level that is acceptable to both parties. A long-distance relationship can never work when trust doesn’t exist.

Alexx Ekubo and his fiancee Fancy Acholonu were a long-distance couple before getting engaged

Love is a beautiful thing; feel it.

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

COVER

INTRODUCING: THE WILLIAMS Debola & Kenny’s Love Story Photography: Bedge Pictures Locations: The Lagos Polo Club Ebonylife Place

In the greatest love stories of all time, \RXōOO ƓQG WKDW IDWH KDV RIWHQ SOD\HG D KXJH UROH LQ FUHDWLQJ PRPHQWV WKDW XSRQ UHŴHFWLRQ GHƓQH WKH YHU\ FRXUVH XSRQ which the romances were built. Debola Williams and his bride Kehinde found a love in each other that was literally written in the stars. Everything about their ZKLUOZLQG URPDQFH DQG KDSSLO\ HYHU DIWHU VLPSO\ HPSKDVL]HV WKH IDFW WKDW HYHU\thing good will come to those who are UHDG\ WR UHFHLYH LW 7KH FRXSOH ZKR ZLOO EH sealing their union with a church blessing and Nigerian wedding in a week’s time, RSHQHG XS WKHLU KRPH WR '2:172:1 Editor, Latasha Ngwube for an excluVLYH DIWHUQRRQ FRQYHUVDWLRQ ƓOOHG ZLWK a lot of jokes and laughter as we talked about their love, romance and the grand wedding. Transcribed by Kehinde Fagbule.

ow did you both meet? Debola: We met in Abeokuta. I had to go under the rock. It took me three nights of travel, seven days of fasting, moving my schedule from Accra and Abuja to be able to be in Abeokuta. I had to go all that way because God had a purpose for it. I had gone into the year 2020 saying to God: I was ready and this was the year. I had said that before but I wasn’t sure if I was through and through about it, but last year I was certain. However, whilst I was here worrying about where I would find my wife, I didn’t know that God had a plan and a diamond waiting for me far away out of Lagos. I went to Abeokuta for a wedding in August last year where I was the Best Man. I went to the wedding against all odds knowing I had to be there because the groom and I have been close friends for 17 years. You know one of those moments when you think you’re being good to someone, not knowing that the goodwill would come back ten fold. So we went up to take pictures with the groom and as I descended, I saw the chairman of the group, Otunba Gbenga Daniel, and I couldn’t decide on time if I should approach and greet him or not. I had met him before at the 90th birthday of Chief Ayo Adebanjo where I gave a speech and he walked up to me, commended my speech and said we should keep in touch and all of that, but it never happened. I eventually decided to greet as courtesy demanded of me as the Yoruba boy that I am. I reminded him of who I was, and I wasn’t sure he heard me clearly because he was quite warm towards me. I remember being confused and thinking the quick meeting didn’t warrant that kind of warmth so I made myself believe that perhaps he had me mixed up with someone else. So I went to sit

down, and he called my attention again asking me what I did for a living. I told him, we got familiar and exchanged numbers - he invited me to dinner. I thought that perhaps he wanted to do some political consulting so I was quick to talk about my work; I didn’t realise that God had better plans for me. I immediately sent him the company’s profile on WhatsApp (which he never read until about 3 days later). He then called me to tell me he wasn’t sure if the dinner would happen anymore; this made me sad as it seemed like I had just lost a work prospect, so I started trying to move on. Just as I was moving on, he called me again and was like “You know what, let’s go ahead and have dinner.” Dinner was at his hotel, I was seated at the table, I greeted his wife and we were about to get into it when suddenly, I saw the rising of an ebony beauty in denim on denim. She joined the dinner. At the dinner table, every question I was asked, I threw at her, just because I wanted to hear her talk, wanted to hear her views on life and position on different things. What they did not know was that the assignment had changed for me. I went to the meeting thinking I was going to have a business consultation demand, but on the way, I allowed myself to be distracted. I was also trying to figure out if there should be a second date or not, trying to decide whether to dive into the family conversation? The dinner was almost done and I still hadn’t made up my mind on whether to actively pursue a second date or not. At that point, her mum left. Not too long after, her dad followed. I then invited her to join me for the wedding service the next day; it turned out she went with her parents to Abeokuta but had no intentions of attending the wedding. She claimed not to have travelled with wedding clothes, so with the help of her mum, I managed to convince her. We left for a boutique in the hotel around 11pm to go look for clothes unknown to us that her mum had sent the driver to go get her one. She came to the church wedding the next day and I was there as well, performing my Best Man duty. During the ceremony, we kept making eye contact and I was being my goofy self. Apparently, her mum was watching as the shenanigans unfolded and then teased her about it. After the wedding, I had planned to leave for Lagos by 1 pm, she by 2 pm. I suspected that I might no longer be going by 1 so I asked her, “If I end up going by 2 pm, will you ride with me?” To which she replied that she’d get back to me as she wasn’t sure. She got back at 1pm and I we left back to Lagos in my car. While on the road, my car was freezing but I always carry a blanket and so I offered it to her and told her I wanted to eat and sleep if she didn’t mind as I was tired. Kenny always carries around her laptop with her so I think she kept working. I woke up when we were almost at her home but we didn’t make any concrete plans to meet again; I called her two days later. At the time when I met her, I was talking to other people but that soon quickly changed. Kehinde, what was your first impression of Debola? Kehinde: He was clean and well-manicured. He looked like someone who took good care of himself. He was also a gentleman. That was it? Did nothing pique your interest? Not even the conversations he was throwing back at you at that first dinner with your family? K: It’s nothing new that I sat at dinners with ‘strangers’ with my dad. So I just brushed it off like my dad has brought one of his meetings to dinner again. I didn’t read anything to it other than that. How about the shenanigans that went on at the wedding the next day? K: It was cute. Instead of him singing praise and worship, he was doing devil work *laughs*. It was cute. Tell me about your first date. K: He was late. I think he was 5 minutes late. D: No, you were super early. I was on time, but you always arrive super early. K: We went for lunch at Ile Eros, it was nice, even though it felt like an interview as all

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VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

COVER the questions he asked were very intense. It’s like when you’re trying to eliminate a candidate and you ask certain questions like “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” and a host of other family-oriented questions. It was a nice lunch but I didn’t leave there thinking I found ‘the one’ because like I said, it wasn’t a conversation of us getting to know each other in a ‘playful’ way. However, the questions would spiral to various conversations that made our alignment evident and it was comforting that at least we were on the same page. So lunch was okay. It wasn’t until after lunch when he started toasting me before I began to see his romantic and playful side. Tell me about Waje’s birthday because I remember that was the first we (some of Debola’s close friends) were meeting you and from several indications a milestone in your relationship… K: He didn’t tell me it was Waje’s 40th birthday beforehand. He just invited me to his “friend’s” birthday. We were still working from home then and I remember I kept thinking who hosts a birthday party on a weekday at the beach? I came here (Debola’s house) very early and as usual and someone (Debola) hadn’t even showered. I really enjoyed Waje’s birthday. It was really nice that he introduced me to everyone in such a nice way and they were all nice and friendly. I almost felt like his girlfriend that day. It ended shortly however when he had to run for a meeting. He wanted to leave me behind to keep having fun but I wouldn’t allow him. I followed him and it was very nice how he told Bovi to make sure that I got to my car safely because I had parked in Lekki but the boat was headed towards Ikoyi. Waje’s birthday was the defining moment of our relationship. In your first memory of Debola, what did you think about the red cap? It’s actually funny because I knew of a Debola Lagos, but it wasn’t until the meeting day that it sort of clicked. I was familiar with his style and had seen him on my Instagram explore page a few times. The reason why it’s funny is that in January, I was having dinner with a colleague and he walked in to meet someone and I remember just taking note of that like “Oh! That is the guy who’s always wearing red and white.” It wasn’t something that was in my subconscious, however, so I didn’t really think anything of it. What are some of his qualities that you love the most? First of all, he’s God-fearing and he really takes care of his own; so if you’re his person, friend, staff member, he’ll die on the line for you. He’s very selfless, always putting people first, and very sensitive to people’s emotions and how he makes them feel. He’s very intentional about people and emotions. I love that about him. He’s kind and smart too. Also, a lot of people would assume that he’s a very serious person who doesn’t laugh or smile but I like that he has a very playful side as well. Were there any moments where you played hard to get? K: I don’t think I played hard to get. I knew what I wanted in a guy and I was very deliberate about it. It is not every day you meet someone who ticks all the boxes. My list has never

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“However, with my dad and my husband, they have similar qualities… including the nature of their work, travelling, continuously on calls from daybreak to nighttime. If I’ve married my father, I’ve married a more handsome, younger, smarter, richer (by God’s grace), kinder version.”

I tell her every day, she’s beautiful, she’s powerful, she’s great… we’re going to do great things for our family, Lagos, Nigeria, the continent and the world. We’re going on this journey together… and this ship is going to berth in a good place.”

changed; even though it has evolved and I’ve added a few things. I’m the kind of person who knows what she wants so if I’m talking to you and maybe you’re missing one out of say, the five things on my list, you’re automatically cancelled. So when I saw that he fit my list’s description, there was no playing games. Everything I wanted was and is right in front of me. Debola, you’re considered by many to be one of the most eligible bachelors around and for a while everyone’s eyebrows were expectantly raised. Why did it take you so long? D: I always said I would marry when I want and I think I got to the point where I was ready. I remember there was a day Kenny and I were driving home and I had to make something that I consider the sacrifice to be able to be there with her that day for us to do all the things we did; then we were driving home and she was staying the weekend. I didn’t feel for a second as though there was someone in my space making me feel uncomfortable. I’m a welcoming person generally, I’m always happy with people coming and leaving because thanks to God I’ve managed to live in spaces where I can accommodate people. However, I’ve never been the one to share my own room for a long time with anybody, but I have not felt like I have someone disturbing me

in my space. This is important to me because I know that if I share my bed a day or two with anyone, I feel some type of way by the second day. I told her that day like “Wow! I’m really ready. All the things that I’ve had to do, the sacrifices I’ve had to make to restrain myself from so and so, they’ve come to me with ease. Not because the pain and deprivation are not there, but just by the fact that I don’t mind doing it.” I always wondered with the way I am with people,’ what more can I do for someone who’s my wife? Now I’ve seen it; and with her, I’ve never doubted or wanted not to do it. I remember I wanted to get married at 18 and people thought it was crazy. I remember I even told the girl at the time. Then I said okay, I’d get married at 21, and at 21 they thought I was even crazier. So I just held off on it till further notice. However, I wanted to get married before my 35th birthday, it was important to me that I was married before I turned 35. More importantly was the fact that in a year that was dark for a lot of people, it happened to be my best ever because I found a life partner. You met in August and proposed four months later, in November, what does that tell you about life itself? D:In the beginning, I thought I was unique until I found out that a lot of my friends got married after even shorter courtships. They are all three months or less. I was in doubt however, I kept thinking if I should wait a bit longer, but there are a few things I’ve come to learn from my past relationships; one, you will never be perfect for each other, there will always be imperfections, but you will then choose gratitude and find perfection in them. So you’d always live with a human being with differences and you’ll grow together and figure it out. Number two was to figure out the things that are important to me in anyone I’m with. If I could get the things that are

important to me for the kind of family I want to build, then everything else will be secondary. That’s the interview she was talking about earlier. I was just asking those questions of the kind of thinking that I wanted my wife to have. It was so funny that in 2019, I had said that I didn’t want to date anyone in the industry anymore because I’ve had a few relationships with people in the past. I just wanted to date in a different circle. To date more of a 9-5 professional, because I thought I needed the stability they provide in comparison to my kind of work. I remember stating specifically that I wanted someone from KPMG, PWC or McKinsey and it was such a coincidence when I asked Kehinde where she worked and she said KPMG. The time of being single is a time to know yourself. It is a time to write down the kind of woman you’re looking for and pray for it. It is a time to write down the kind of standards you want in your family or home and a time to be at peace with yourself. By the time I was dating Kehinde, I was at peace with myself. Kenny, what do you do in KPMG? I work in advisory, transaction services. We do valuation, due diligence, business plans, financial modules, just assisting companies to have a smooth transaction process from start to finish. How long have you been there? I’ve been there since 2017. Being the daughter of quite a prominent politician, how have you managed to stay out of the spotlight for this long? I mean you are a looker without a doubt, how did you stay off the radar? Naturally, we are very private. We don’t really follow my dad out to places that he goes. We have a very small circle of friends. Also moving back to Nigeria in late 2016, starting work in 2017 took over a lot of myq time, so it was just the people that you see at work and maybe the odd weekends here and there where you go for a wedding. I think it’s just how we naturally are as private people and keeping our circle close and tight.

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

COVER Debola, speaking of work, tell us a little bit about what you do. I run a consultancy company: marketing, behavioural change, governance communication, and crisis management. In summary, we help organisations, individuals and governments build perception capital that they use in expanding their businesses, fanbase, and following. We also help international organisations, as well as local organisations, focus on behaviour change either with education (girls’ education) or different behaviours that you want to change in making society better. We work with top corporate companies, banks, FMCGs, and also Governments in Nigeria and across Africa; we do elections where we do storytelling for presidential candidates in different countries across the continent as well. Also in my free time, I do teaching and speaking. How are you both going to manage your clearly busy schedule and work? Where do you find time for both your ships to cross? D: My wife does a great job of making us find time; she guilt-trips me. She will carry face and tell me I haven’t been at home and sometimes I get frustrated but at the end of the day, she’s just trying to make sure that the bond continues, so I do my best to reciprocate andclear my schedule, which she also understands. I try to be as available as possible. What are some of her qualities you admire? Several actually. From her sense of the importance of family to commitment to her fixation on planning, to her ability to juggle and her dedication to her work. I actually find that very inspiring. I like that she’s committed to her work and she tries to find solutions for them. Sometimes I am quite unhappy at the reciprocation as I feel like they don’t get the deserved credit for the work that they do and she also never wants to talk about it. She’s also coming into her own in terms of owning a home and leading and managing a home with staff and several moving parts; she’s come to own that space. She’s also always ready to learn. That’s not to mention the regular loving and caring nature she possesses. She knows how to have a good time too. I also like the fact that she has more energy than I do actually, she’s my energy ball even though sometimes it’s hard to get her to start but if you get her to start, she can keep us going for a long time. Kenny, Debola famously hosts a lot. Do you find any similarities between that and the home you come from being an ex-Governor’s child? Is it a role that you have slipped into seamlessly? It’s actually funny because I enjoy hosting. It’s one of those things I enjoy and I’m good at; it comes effortlessly, I would say. I think it’s also because as you’ve said, where I’ve grown up, we host a lot and my mum is very hands-on. So from a young age as the only daughter, my brothers could afford to run off to play video games and whatnot, but I was always next to my mum. It comes naturally to me and I enjoy it. I’m also the type of person that when people come into my home or space, I want them to have a good time, be comfortable, well-fed, well taken care of, and just feel like they didn’t waste their time leaving wherever they were to come to me. I think on that note, we have that in common. We’re going to be the kind of household that both ensure the table is set, it’s nothing like those gendered households where the man is just upstairs and it’s the lady’s job to cater to the house; we do it together. If I come back a bit late, he has done it. Some days he has missed out, I’ve done it as well, so it’s been very seamless on the hosting part. It’s also been said that girls marry their dad in some sense. Do you find that Debola has some characteristics that remind you of your dad or is that just a myth? I don’t think it’s a myth. I also don’t think it applies to everyone. However, with my dad and my husband, they have similar qualities bar that personal touch. They really understand

connecting with people and other similarities include the nature of their work, travelling, continuously on calls from daybreak to nighttime, so the things that he’s doing aren’t exactly outside of the norm for me because I grew up seeing them in my dad. The constant travelling doesn’t necessarily equate to less love because whenever he is around, my time is created for sure. I’m not bothered about that. If I’ve married my father, I’ve married a more handsome, younger, smarter, richer (by God’s grace), kinder version. Typically, couples meet each other’s parents much later after getting to know one another. You guys did that backwards; he met your parents right off the bat. When did you get to meet his family and what was that like? Were you nervous? How did that go? I met his parents in the first week of October. I think I was nervous but it wasn’t nerve-wracking because they were very nice, accommodating and they treated me as their own; like they’d known me for some time. It was nice. D: For me, meeting her parents first, one of the interesting things that made it clear that this was where I was going to be was that usually, a lot of the things I do come from the top. I always get access from the top. Like whenever I’m trying to get a company to work with us, I meet the CEO and go from there. So meeting her dad first before chasing her was the usual pattern of the way things work out in my life. Also, one of the few things that were interesting to me was that when I arrived at her house, I entered through the front door and we both teased because usually when her friends arrive, they go through the side door where she has an entrance to her own living room on the side. However, I went in through the front door which is her parents’ door and we both teased because usually I should be coming in quietly *laughs*. Those were the little things that put a spring in my step in terms of “Boy! If you like this woman, just go for it.” It was really unconventional because even when I asked her out, the night I knew that she was the one was when I asked her for her birthday and she told me 4th of November and I had always joked that I was going to marry or propose on November 4 and this was going to matter a lot to the woman; it was just a joke around November 4 and birthdays. So earlier in the year, I had always joked around with a friend of mine that I was going to marry or propose on November 4, way before I met Kehinde. The proposal was quite elaborate, to say the least. Are you really telling us that Kehinde had no idea? We had talked about rings; it started from one day when I saw her saving a ring. She couldn’t hide it, I saw the kind of ring she liked, then we were going back and forth on rings, so she knew that the ring was coming, she just didn’t know when. She sort of expected that the proposal would be in December because her brothers weren’t around until then. I had ordered the ring, it had arrived and she didn’t know, I hid it from her. Every night, I’d turn off all the lights in my room and admire it, it was so beautiful. I’d call a few of my friends, we’d look at it together and gist, it was nice. I’d put the ring back and hide it again, she’d come to the house and not notice. I was trying to sort out the proposal. My first pick was to propose in a garden, I had even designed what it would look like, only for me to see the week before a guy that basically looked like a clone of me (even dressed like me) had already done something similar, so I had to cancel that. Then the next idea was to have it on the beach. Unfortunately, the beach houses I wanted to use were booked. The one I found, I just wasn’t happy with. So on our way back from the beach (I went with my planner Debola Lewis of Yventkouture as his company was tasked with planning the proposal), I told them and said “What if we do the proposal on the boat?” Then I went ahead to narrate the plan: to have one boat where Kehinde and I would be in, and another boat that would have Timi Dakolo in it. Timi would hold a megaphone and apprehend us that we had violated a law being on the water at 7pm and we were going to get arrested; the only way to escape an arrest was if Kehinde would agree to marry his (Timi’s) friend (me). We obviously didn’t go through with that, so I thought to finally discuss it with my wife. I still didn’t tell her it was going to turn out to be a proposal, I just told her we were planning a nice time out, so we started exploring different options. She suggested bowling and arcade as she likes high energy stuff; I don’t, I’m very boring - dinner, movies, and that’s it. I suggested dinner and she opted to have it on the boat and I thought that was nice so we started planning. Keep in mind she still didn’t know I was going to propose but she was on board with going all out with this dinner in terms of bringing a photographer and

videographer aboard with us and also a few friends. My event kept adding on the extras and Kenny was excited to go bigger and have a fun evening. K: I even said to him that “Babe nawa oh! All these decorations and somebody will just go into the boat and come out, no ring” *laughs*. I posted a snippet of the date on my Instagram and someone was teasing me that it was about to happen and I just brushed it off jokingly that no, it was just a fancy date. D: So we got on the boat and Johnny Drille was on the lower deck waiting but she didn’t know it. Everything was set up and when the moment arrived, she was blown away. We had fireworks, Johnny Drille serenaded us and it was all just so gracious. I was very happy that we pulled that off in Nigeria; many people thought it was in Dubai. I’m proud of us. I like big moments and I was proud we were able to achieve a big moment for the proposal. Do you have messages for, about or to her and vice versa? K: For me, he’s just gonna have to wait *laughs* D: *Laughs* Like I tell her every day, she’s beautiful, she’s powerful, she’s great and again, I just want to remind you, baby, you are special, you have all that you need to be all that you wish to be. You’re a wonderful friend, a great wife, an amazing mother, a beautiful gardener building a home that is more beautiful than the garden of Eden and you have wisdom beyond your years, you have knowledge and understanding and together we’re going to do great things for our family, Lagos, Nigeria, the continent and the world. We’re going on this journey together on this ship and this ship is going to berth in a good place. I love you. Read complete interview with some more beautiful pictures of the couple on Downtown website: www.thewilldowntown.com

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VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

BEAUTY

Pro-Collagen Aqua Infusion Mask ELEMIS

MASK ON Most men don’t like a complicated skincare routine, but the truth is that these steps go a long way in helping with your general appearance. Applying a good mask weekly, for instance, aids healthier skin over time. So start using one months before you say ‘I do’ to rip its benefits.

REGE JEAN PAGE Image By David M. Benett / GETTY IMAGES

GROOMED TO SAY

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xperts say that skincare is the most important part of men’s grooming; mostly because it helps with a healthy-looking complexion, and it also lays the foundation for a silky-smooth shave. It’s even more important before you walk down that aisle, to look your best, not just for the bride but for yourself too (you don’t want to look at your wedding photos years later and think “what the…”). So as you prepare to say ‘I do’, here are a few skincare dos to help you look your best on that day.

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PAGE 8

Always wash or cleanse your face; it helps soften the facial hairs before a shave. When purchasing a cleanser, remember it’s all about solving a problem, so go for a product that is tailored to your needs. For instance, if you are ingrown hair prone, then you want to get a product that is designed specifically for that problem. This step should be carried out morning and evening. If you exfoliate, don’t overdo it; granted the male skin is thicker than the female skin but exfoliating more than three times a week is overdoing it.

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

BEAUTY MOISTURISE Moisturising helps to lock in hydration and shield the skin with a protective layer. Take it a step further; go for a moisturiser that protects the skin from the harmful effects of pollution and blue light emitted from digital screens.

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EYES RIGHT

SHINE BRIGHT

In preparing for the big day, to keep dark circles and crow’s feet at bay, what you really need is a good eye serum; the skin around the eye is quite delicate so your moisturiser won’t cut it here. You also don’t want to look like you didn’t get enough sleep as you take your vows, so if like most grooms you spend the night before partying, then you will need a serum that can do the trick within hours.

Every groom wants to look good on his special day, and a great ingredient for brighter youthfullooking skin is vitamin C. It not only ly works its magic on your complexion, on, but also helps to improve the texture re e of your skin, reduce the appearance ce of fine lines, and get you a smoother, er, closer shave. Don’t forget your daily sunscreen, because you are e more exposed to light at this point. t t. Preferably a product that is broaddspectrum with UVA/UVB coverage: e:: you should use this even in the rainy ny season.

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MANE-TAME IT

Regardless of how you wear your hair, whether it a clean-cut, afro, or dreadlocks, a visit to your salon is mandatory before you walk down that aisle. Keep your mane nice and neat by getting it washed, trimmed, or relocked and moisturised.

GROOM YOUR FACIAL HAIR Men look a lot more attractive when they are well-groomed, as such it is important, if you grow a beard, to keep it clean. Wash it regularly, get it trimmed and shaped, and don’t forget to condition it and use balms or oils depending on how you grow your beard. Longer beards get more out of beard oils; they keep it wellconditioned. Shorter beards, on the other hand, will benefit more from a beard balm. And it’s ok to brush your eyebrows.

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PAGE 9

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 07, 2021 202 0211

VIMBAI MUTINHIRIEKPENYONG On Marriage, Miscarriage & Motherhood

PAGE 15

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

Photo: @HairByUgo

EDITOR’S NOTE

ongratulations to our cover star, TV girl Vimbai Mutinhiri-Ekpenyong and her husband Andrew on the birth of their new born baby girl. For the Ekpenyongs, their story took several unplanned turns but to quote the wise words of Ms Lauryn Hill, Nothing Even Matters when it comes to love.

CONTENTS

COVER STORY:

VIMBAI MUTINHIRIEKPENYONG On Marriage, Miscarriage & Motherhood!

If they had a biopic, it would probably be titled Man proposes, God disposes because neither of them could have predicted the series of events that would eventually lead them to the point of blissful happiness where they currently reside. Vimbai’s inspiring story and exclusive interview with your favourite Sunday read talks about some of the obstacles they overcame that have broken other relationships but ended up making theirs even stronger and wiser, having navigated and weathered the storm in uncharted waters. Maybe it’s the double dose of romance, good news and happy ever afters but I’m refreshed and optimistic about equipping oneself with the lessons that mould and ready us for the long road that’s often filled with butterflies and bruises, sweet words and scrapes, passion and even pain. Vimbai’s inspiring interview proves what many of us have always known but possibly forgottenthat ultimately, finding THE one makes all of this truly worth it! On that note, as we here at DOWNTOWN celebrate the Ekpenyongs, take care of yourself and you’ll see us next week!

LATASHA NGWUBE @latashalagos

AUSTYN OGANNAH

H OT S P OT

Review: Pintos Dimsum

THE REVIEW

5 of The Best Romantic Movies of all Time PAGE 15

FASHION

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

BY BOLUWATIFE ADESINA Scan this with your camera to access the playlist (Apple Music)

of The Best Romantic Movies of all Time As the saying goes: One person’s crush is another person’s cringe. No matter how hard we try as a society, humanity has always failed to reach a consensus on the rules of romance. Though many of us might agree that there should be some serious dos and don’ts to romance, overall it’s for the best that we leave love unbridled. Luckily for us, the romantic film genre has followed suit. From comedy to drama, classic to quirky, and sappy to cynical, there’s plenty of fish in the sea to find your romantic movie soulmate. If you’re on the market, these iconic titles (along with a more recent wild card) will turn you into a Casanova in no time. Here are five of the most romantic movies ever made.

Casablanca (1942) Others have tried, but no movie couple is as iconic as Ilsa and Rick (Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart) are in this epic wartime romance about two old flames who cross paths after years of no contact.

Titanic (1998)

Read me this story, and I’ll find you. Damn. Nicholas Sparks is cheesy and oftentimes over the top, but The Notebook is a romantic story of love that is just beautiful enough that it transcends all of the cheesiness it takes to tell it.

Monica (Sanaa Lathan) and Quincy (Omar Epps) are two childhood friends with the same competitive dream: to become professional basketball players. The movie follows their yearslong journey as they’re forced to choose between their relationship and their budding careers.

PAGE 14

Ravyn Lenae; Steve Lacy Computer Luv (feat. Steve Lacy)

Frank Ocean - Moon River

Rihanna - Higher

Michael Jackson - Dirty Diana Kevin Abstract - Papercut

Spencer. - To Be You

Her (2013)

Love and Basketball (2000)

Playlist of the Week

The Notebook (2004)

It’s hard to top being king of the world. Titanic sets the bar incredibly high for romantic epics. The only issue I have is that there was definitely room on that door, but someone had to sprawl out and get cozy.

It’s the love story of our time: a man in love with his OS(Operating System). But the sci-fi film actually breaks into some uncharted territory regarding what it means to be in love with someone (or something), and what it can offer back to you.

Scan this with your camera to access the playlist (Spotify)

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Gunpowder Milkshake Directed By: Navot Papushado Written by: Navot Papushado and Ehud Lavski Cast: Karen Gillan, Lena Headey, Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh, Carla Gugino, Paul Giamatti, Chloe Coleman, Ralph Ineson, Adam Nagaitis, Michael Smiley, Freya Allan, Samuel Anderson

unpowder Milkshake has proven two things: John Wick-style action flicks are here to stay, and Karen Gillan needs to be an action film lead more often because she’s amazing at it. Navot Papushado‘s Gunpowder Milkshake takes place in the world of assassins. Sam (Karen Gillan) is a cold-blooded assassin-

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for-hire who works for an ambiguous crime organization called The Firm. When a job goes wrong, she ends up on the wrong side of the organization and the caretaker for a young girl named Emily (Chloe Coleman). As she fights to survive, she is reunited with her estranged mother Scarlet (Lena Headey) and her mother’s associates, The Librarians: Anna May (Angela Bassett), Mathilde (Carla Gugino), and Florence (Michelle Yeoh). The backbone of Gunpowder Milkshake relies on Gillan’s strength as an action star. It’s a joy to watch her as she kicks and flips and kills her way through the onslaught of henchmen sent her way. The fight choreography is creative, for the most part, and it lets Gillan show off her skill both with a weapon and in hand-to-hand combat. Out of all of the good things to come out of the film, Gillan has to be the best. In addition to the action, her scenes with the young Coleman also add a much-needed punch of emotion into the story. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but in such a stylized film, it’s necessary. Although it’s never explicitly stated, there’s a lot of Girl Power vibes when it comes to Gunpowder Milkshake. All of our heroes are women, the endless slew of henchmen and the villainous Firm seem to be solely populated by men. The powerhouse cast of Headey, Bassett, Gugino, and Yeoh help bolster this without cheapening it. It is immensely enjoyable to watch these amazing actresses take on both a gentle and maternal role toward Sam and Emily, while also holding their own against The Firm. For Papushado’s part, his directorial style is steady, the film is bolstered by its slick, candy-colored, neon styling, with Michael Seresin‘s cinematography aiding Papushado’s filming style. There has been a lot of effort put into production design and it shows. Each and every set piece is meticulously planned, giving a fairy tale feel to the world that these assassins inhabit. Combine that with the touches of absurdist humor, and Gunpowder Milkshake feels distinctly out of time and fablesque. As far as Papushado and Ehud Lavski‘s script? Well, it’s not much to write home about. The plot simply is there to

Mint Condition - Breakin’ My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)

Cuco; Clairo - Drown

push the audience into the world of these assassins. Much like John Wick, the plot is simple and primarily serves as an excuse for the action pieces. But the pacing feels off in the third act, when all-out war jumps from assassin to assassin in point of view, breaking up the action. As much as I love to see Bassett, Gugino, and Yeoh in action, it’s the weakest fight out of the bunch. You know what you’re getting when you walk into Gunpowder Milkshake. There are absolutely no surprises or twists, instead, the film is more of an all-out brawl. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Gillan leads a fun, kaleidoscopic film about family, forgiveness, reconciliation, and new beginnings. It’s a joy to watch her punch her way through her problems in a shiny tracksuit, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

COVER

VIMBAI MUTINHIRIEKPENYONG On Marriage, Miscarriage & Motherhood! The journey from singledom to marriage and then SDUHQWKRRG ORRNV GLIIHUHQW IRU HDFK SHUVRQ $Q\ RQH ZKR KDV H[SHULHQFHG DQ\ RI WKH DERYH ZLOO WHOO you, no two stories are exactly the same and then IDFWRULQJ LQ D JOREDO SDQGHPLF WKH VWDNHV DUH VXGdenly much higher with an emotional buy-in that ZRXOG URFN DQ\ UHODWLRQVKLS 7HOHYLVLRQ SUHVHQWHU DQG EURDGFDVW MRXUQDOLVW 9LPEDL 0XWLQKLUL (NSHQ\RQJ VDLG \HV WR WKH ORYH RI KHU OLIH $QGUHZ (NSHQyong when he asked her to marry him. Little did either of them know what fate had in store but this H[FOXVLYH DQG YHU\ SHUVRQDO LQWHUYLHZ ZLWK '2:1TOWN Editor, Latasha Ngwube chronicles the SHUIHFW ZHGGLQJ FHUHPRQLHV WKDW GLGQōW KDSSHQ DQG WKH VSRQWDQHRXV RQH WKDW GLG D SUHJQDQF\ PLVFDUULDJH WKDW ZDVQōW SODQQHG DQG WKH EHVW ODLG SODQV RI WKH ELUWK RI WKHLU EHDXWLIXO GDXJKWHU WKDW still went off-course and how they weathered it all together in love. Transcribed by Kazeem Tilewa

relationship like what you have with your husband, Andrew, couldn’t have started out of the blue, it must have been brewing for a long time. So tell us how it all began. Wow, Tasha? (she cushions that with a soft laugh) Ok. To summarise it, I was in Calabar for work a few years ago for the Carnival. It was my second or third time in Nigeria and my first time there and I wanted to go out so I reached out to a Nigerian guy I knew there and I hit him up… I’m in Calabar, I want to go out, where do I go? Blah Blah Blah. This guy now says he’s in Calabar as well and he’d connect me with a friend of his that owns a club. That friend turned out to be Andrew. He was a perfect gentleman and he was nice and all that but we didn’t click however we exchanged numbers. I went back to South Africa and life went on. He would text me and I’d ignore him, blue ticks all the way. (she laughs) One day from the blues, he sent a picture of an article of myself in a magazine and I knew that magazine belonged to a hotel in South Africa. So I sent him a message saying are you in South Africa? And he’s like yeah, I’m in Jo’burg and I happened to be in Jo’burg as well. You know that thing where you are curious and you are just like who is this guy sef? It drove me to his IG and there I was,looking through his profile and I’m saying to myself like ah ahn, this is a fine boy. Why am I ignoring this guy, what’s going on? After that, I responded to him since you’re in Jo’burg let’s go out, let’s have dinner and he responded no problem. We went for dinner and that was our first date. From there, the rest was history pretty much. When was the moment you knew that this guy could be the one? I remember there was a time for his birthday, we had gone out partying and it was a bit debaucherous and I overindulged, drinking more than I should have. So, when we got back to Lagos I fell ill. He took me to the hospital and while I was just laying on the bed, drifting off, I opened my eyes and he had his head bowed- he was praying for me. For me that moment was it. You’re a great guy, kind, you tick all the boxes and to top it all off you’re praying for me? It was a wrap. He had my heart.

Wow, what an actual love story! (Her voice swooning with love, she laughs and responds) Kinda, I think so. Funny enough as Africans, I don’t think we intermarry enough compared to other continents. Did you ever think you’d end up with a noneZimbabwean man? Yeah, I was pretty sure of it. No offence to my Zimbabwean brothers, I just knew it was never going in that direction. I think it’s because my personality type is probably a lot more aggressive and outspoken than a typical Zimbabwean girl. So the expectation and compatibility was always off. Compounded with my choice of work, wanting to be in Nigeria and the markets where media and entertainment are happening. Already I knew it was going to be a disconnect so I made peace with that a long time ago. I didn’t know I was going to end up with a Nigerian but I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to end up with a Zimbabwean guy because of all those factors. Did Andrew have anything to do with your decision to move to Nigeria? No, no, no. See I had already moved when we started dating. I was about two and a half years in so I had already been in Nigeria for a minute and I had already sort of met, seen, and interacted with what was there as well. Dating in Lagos is WILD! I’m glad that by the time he and I reconnected I was a bit wiser and a bit more emotionally intelligent as well about the dating scene in Nigeria. For most women, the moment when you are meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a game changer but since you were here, on his turf (Nigerian soil), who met who’s parents first and how did it go? Oh my gosh! He introduced me to his mom about two months into our relationship in Calabar. He invited me to Calabar and I was gobsmacked when I asked him where I’d be staying and he said you’re staying with us at the family house. Hand on heart I was freaking out. One day he said please get dressed, you’re going to meet my mum and I responded stunned like Okay. That was very scary. I’m not easily intimidated but it was a very frightening experience. I was terrified because it was my first experience of that nature and especially with the different cultures and all the elements I didn’t know what to expect. I’d only known what I had seen and heard but I never experienced it first hand so I was petrified. Sweaty palms and everything but she turned out to be a

Photographer- Joanne Markland Makeup Artist: Swaazi Dlamini (@swaazi_mua_cpt) Dress: Yummy Bumps (@yummybumps_tots) Garland: Paradiso Flowers (@paradisoflowers)

lovely woman. Let me quickly interject by asking, had you heard about the “Patience Ozokwor Mother-in-law stereotype”? Exactly! That was all I knew and had been exposed to, and then also you know I was on Moments Girls Talk on Ebony Live and we did a lot of episodes on Monsters-in-law and all of that. So it fed the narrative that initially added to the feeling of intimidation I had. I’m happy to see it went well. I’m so grateful it went well. What was it like when he met your family in Zimbabwe? Again, I was the nervous one. He came to Zimbabwe and I’d never really introduced anyone to them before. The expectation orbiting around it was worrying. He was flying in, it seemed like a grand gesture, I hope it doesn’t end up in tears, this better be it and all of that just ricocheted around in my head. But he came and got along with everyone so well. He loved Zimbabwe, everything happened organically and it was assuring. I know that you lost your sister. Did Drew get to meet her before she passed away? Sadly he didn’t. We kicked it off about a year after she passed. What does it mean to you that Andrew got the blessing of TB Joshua, your mentor and father-in-the-Lord before he passed on? For me, it’s bittersweet because as I was thinking about what my mentor kept saying to me every time I saw him he’d say where’s your husband,

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VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

COVER

Her name is Atumwanashe... It means The one sent by God. It came from prayer. The day that I was scared that I was having another miscarriage I called a pastor friend to pray with me and he kept on saying this one has been sent by God. As I kept praying I realised that you know what, that’s her name.”

where’s your husband? and I kept on asking him which husband, what are you talking about? He’d always laugh at me and say Don’t worry, you’ll tell me. I’d sit there perplexed at what he was saying because I hadn’t opened up to him about Andrew. About two weeks before he proposed I saw my mentor and he said So, when are you bringing your husband? I remember this so vividly because I remember showing him my hand and I was just like Look, no ring. There is no husband, why are you asking me about a husband when I don’t have a husband and he just laughed at me. Cue the two weeks after Andrew proposed and as we were preparing for the wedding it was so exciting when they finally met. It was at the beginning of March 2020 and I remember this one statement that stuck with me. He looked at the both of us and laughed and said You guys are running out of time. Andrew and I left there confused that day muttering, what time could we possibly be running out of ourselves and then boom the world shut down. We both were like oh, that’s what he was talking about. (She ends with a light chuckle) Let’s speak on the time that ran out for all of us across the world. You guys got engaged and the Coronavirus happened and It literally couldn’t have come at a worse time. You, your husband (and the rest of us wedding guests) had plans to be at both wedding ceremonies from Zimbabwe to Cape Town. Aso Ebi sown, invitations gone out, plans askew. How did you deal with that? Emotionally and on every other level? I’ll never forget the day, the South African President was about to address the people about the issue and in Nigeria, it was still calm at that time. We were just worried about the fact that we needed to travel. The South African President spoke about how there are no more events and all the new restrictions and we just sat in silence for about an hour. In our minds, we were wondering what does this mean? It was one of those “eh ehn, where do we go from here” moments. Especially because planning two destination weddings was extremely stressful emotionally, dealing with the family, we’ve been through so much and we were so close to the wedding. We were three weeks out from the wedding and we were so very close and we were devastated. I remember his dad reassuring us that we

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shouldn’t worry that we’d still get married and we were wondering how that was going to be possible with the situation of things and he said something that planted that idea in our minds and kept us going. He said with a laugh, You don’t need those things to get married. The second biggest thing was deciding to be in lockdown together in Calabar. We all thought it would be a 14 days affair and life would resume as though nothing happened and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be stuck in Lagos by myself while he was in Calabar. So I called him and I said you know what, whether it’s two weeks or three or whatever it’s fine, let’s just hang out for those couple of weeks together. I’m telling you, Tash, that splitsecond decision probably saved our relationship because when the lights of the world flickered and eventually turned off we were stuck together. Think about how many months it ended up being. It was the middle of March, April, May, June, and July. I think it began to ease up around July and August. I think it was late July because I had my miscarriage the first week of July and then we had to wait a few days for me to be able to see a doctor in Lagos. We’d come to that in a second. The wedding, although smaller than anticipated, it was no less special or incredible and it took place in Calabar. How did that day feel for you? Did you have anyone from your family there or even friends? Talk us through that period. That for me was probably one of the bravest things I’ve ever done because I had no one there. No friends and no family. I didn’t have anybody by my side. I was riding solo and they are a big family and a popular one as well. I remember my dad asking how I did it all by myself. Even Andrew and his family were in awe because I faced his family all by myself. A friend of mine told me that I didn’t need anyone else to be there so far the groom was there, the minister was there and I was there that was all I needed. So going into that day, the 8th of May 2020, that was all I thought about. The miscarriage…what happened? I really can’t place a finger on what exactly happened because it was all unexpected. We weren’t actively trying to get pregnant. So it took me a while to catch on. Eventually, I decided to take the test and I found out I was pregnant. When I told Andrew he was surprised at how fast it was, we joked about it and we were delighted. Some weeks later I started experiencing cramps and a little bleeding. I was worried and afraid. This was happening during the lockdown so I couldn’t go to a doctor unless we were certain that something was indeed wrong with me or the baby. I called a friend of mine who has kids and told her what was going on and she said it was too soon to say but I should keep an eye on it. The next day it wasn’t getting any better. The cramps had turned it up a notch and the bleeding hadn’t stopped. I put a call through to my friend again and she said I should just try to monitor it. By the third day, blood had begun running down my leg. We hurried to the hospital in Calabar. By the time we got there, the hospital lacked the

required equipment to run the examinations and find out what exactly had happened. We were told to return home, get some rest, take some painkillers and return in two weeks. I was like So we have to come back in two weeks before we can find out what exactly was wrong??? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. We returned home and Andrew said he was going to inform his parents if they could assist with getting a gynaecologist. We agreed, he put a call through to them and they referred us to one brashful old man who spent the first two hours of the examination talking our ears off about his accomplishments and when he eventually got to the examination he lacked every bit of compassion and empathy. He just kept on hurting me and when I squirmed he kept saying, “Do you want me to stop?” I just plopped there crying as this man unapologetically stabbed my insides. He lacked all the qualities of a doctor and while he was searching for the embryo he did mince his words saying things like “Ah! Nope, this is gone and Nope, this one is finished” as he dug deeper and deeper into me like a kid struggling to grab candy from inside a vending machine. Imagine hearing that from your doctor at a time when you are at your most vulnerable. He had not a single iota of decency, courtesy or bedside manner throughout the examination. After it was done, he informed us that one of the embryos wasn’t of good quality and we should just thank God because if the situation had progressed we would have ended up with a deformed child and I told myself this is not happening. There were a lot of things to process in that one moment. Like how can you be telling me to thank God when this is happening to me right now you know. He told us we’d have to come back in two weeks and what to expect as regards the pain and the bleeding was the body flushing everything out naturally. He added that if that doesn’t happen then I’ll have to come back for another procedure and that just broke my heart and pushed me into tears because I was looking around this man’s practice and I saying to myself there’s no way I’m letting anybody in this place go into my insides with any device whatsoever. So it was a lot of trauma all at once and as the week progressed it all cleared up naturally. Throughout it all, Andrew was such a stand-up guy. He was by my side 24/7. Whether it was a hot water bottle I needed or food whatever it was he was there and as rough as the whole ordeal was it was consoling to know that my partner was and is supportive. Do you think you can speak about Andrew’s state of mind throughout all this because we all tend to focus on mothers but the dads, how do they really feel in times like this? I asked him how he felt and he was just like well, it had happened and I think what he did was he shoved all his emotions to the back because he went into protective mode. He saw me in pain and helpless and to him making sure I was ok became more important than anything else and then following that when I asked him about the loss and so forth he says he barely processed it because it all happened so fast. It never felt real to him because of the speed at which it all happened. It was almost like a dream and he wasn’t sure whether it happened or didn’t because it all happened so quickly. I could relate to that as well but had I not gone through the motions physically I’d have been in the same state of mind, however because I felt the pain, I saw the blood,I experienced it differently. Also, I was only a few weeks in at the time and I had known for a couple of days so I hadn’t grown any real attachment whatsoever. Congratulations! You’re a mum now. Thank you (she replies excitedly) What did the next positive pregnancy test feel like? (She lets out a sigh of relief before answering the question) It was… I’ve never felt anxiety like that in my entire life, Latasha. I was terrified and I almost wanted it to be negative because I was scared about whether or not it would work out. I wasn’t sure I could go through the roller coaster again. It was a similar cycle that almost happened again and then within hours, I started bleeding again.

VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

COVER I was just like God, what is going on? I remember just going into auto-pilot and luckily, I was in Lagos and I had access to my gynaecologist. Dr Alabi is my gynaecologist and after the first miscarriage, he ran all the checks to make sure everything was clear, and after, he gave me his number to reach out in case anything happens. So, I sent him a text and he said, come to me immediately. From that point, the only thing I did was pray; after that the rest was auto-pilot. I got in the car and I drove myself from Lekki to his office in V.I and I was at the reception sobbing. By the time he saw me, he asked why I was crying and tried to console me but I was like, it’s happening, it’s happening again. So he takes a look and tells me everything is ok and nothing is happening. So I asked him but what about the blood? He says he can’t see the source of the blood and he doesn’t know where it’s coming from but he’s going to put me on some hormones for the whole first trimester. I was on the hormones for the whole first trimester and it made me sick, sick, sick! My first trimester was hell because I had the combined anxiety of “is this going to work out?” along with the hormone supplement making me go crazy. Then there is COVID. You don’t want to catch that so you have to be on antibiotics and there’s not wanting to be seen or speak to people or you don’t want to share the process you’re going through because you don’t know what the outcome will be. So I just spent three months hiding in the house. Tell me, what is the biggest misconception about pregnancy, or what was your biggest discovery about pregnancy? Everybody makes it out to be such a traumatic experience. Also, there are so many rules, especially where African culture is concerned and people just want you to sit down and eat. For me, going on a journey where I learnt that no, I can work out. While I was pregnant I was doing pilates and in the beginning, I was running my 5km daily and by the end was just walking my 5km. I barely skipped a day until it was my 9th month. So there were many rules and opinions of how hard it was and I’m not putting it down, it is tasking but I didn’t see it that way. It was more of a beautiful and joyful experience for me. Even with childbirth, my labour didn’t go as planned but I don’t consider it traumatic in any way, shape, or form because I was prepared, informed and ready. I was excited. You gave birth in South Africa. That must have posed a challenge because of the restrictions that have been put back in place so Andrew couldn’t be there for the baby’s birth. Did that take anything away from it for you? It took a lot from it. We both knew there would be restrictions and limitations but we never thought that it would extend to travel. We were beautifully optimistic and we just assumed that since we started planning so well in advance that we had enough time to navigate everything that needed to be navigated. So it was a shock to the system when the time was closing in and there were still restrictions. When I got to my third trimester I started making peace with the fact that he might not be there and it was so similar to the day we got married that the only thing I needed was God and my gynaecologist and I told myself if that’s what it’s going to be I’m at peace with it. I just want a healthy baby. I remember at some point some people were even saying to me do you want a natural birth or a cesarean and I was just like if you want me to vomit the baby out, I’ll vomit the baby out. I don’t care as long as the baby gets here safe and sound. Do you know how we all have our wishlist and all the things we want to go our way? Well, Andrew being there was at the top of mine but there was nothing he could do that he didn’t and there was nothing either of us could have maneuvered so I just had to get into the right mind frame to be able to tackle the goal ahead of me. It wasn’t a time to sulk or throw pity parties. I just had to be grateful to God for choosing me for the process, focus on it and get through it. When I think of the combination of your experiences and your reactions to situations from your wedding, the miscarriage, and your baby’s birth, it appears to me that you are a get on with it type of person. Do you think that is an accurate description of who you are? Yup, that pretty much sums up who I am in every area of my life. Plans change or go wrong all the time and I’ve never been one to sit and complain. I don’t believe in playing the victim, it’s not my style at

all. Whatever life throws at me that is beyond my control I’m immediately looking to make the most and best out of it . That is how I left Zimbabwe to move to South Africa to move to Nigeria. It was because I refused to sit down. How is that working out for you now as a mum? I mean you’ve been a mum for all of two and a half weeks now? (She begins her response after a laugh) At the moment it’s a little different because I’m learning to be a little more gentle. After all, this little person is so vulnerable and fragile and she never asked to be here. You can’t have that attitude. You have to put the brakes on and realise that this person needs comforting and nurturing and all the other things I learnt to shut out or micromanage inside my head. So I’d have to say I have softened out the rough edges but I think I’m still a very protective mum. I will get on with it in terms of becoming a mum but regarding my attitude towards my daughter, I’m intentionally and consciously trying to be soft and gentle because I think we’ve got enough African women who have had to be tough and strong. What is your daughter name. Her name is Atumwanashe Eme Ekpenyong. What does it mean? It means The one sent by God. Is it a traditional Zimbabwean name? No, it’s not. I made it up from Shona- the most widely spoken language in Zimbabwe. It’s the first time I heard of it. Where did it come from? It came from prayer. The day that I was scared that I was having another miscarriage I called a pastor friend to pray with me and he kept on saying this one has been sent by God. As I kept praying I realised that you know what, that’s her name. Beautiful. How did it feel holding Atumwanashe in your arms for the first time? I tried to push for two hours and it didn’t work. I was rushed for an emergency CS and the first thing I heard before I held her was her cry. That exact moment changed my life and I started crying as well. I kept saying is that my human? I don’t know how to describe the feeling. It was overwhelming, it was magical and it was a miracle. Like an actual human being came from me and when they put her on my chest it was surreal. It wasn’t until I brought her home that I started accepting that this is my baby. I remember joking with the doctor and

asking when her parents were coming. There was also a feeling of relief because it had been nine long months. Has her dad met her yet? Sadly, not yet! It’s so heartbreaking. She’ll need time before she can get the green light to travel and then we’re going to meet in Zimbabwe. This is happening in the wake of you being appointed the Brand Ambassador for Girl Up Zimbabwe that came when you were pregnant. How fortuitous is it that you then have a baby girl? Tell me about that? When the conversation started about Girl Up, I didn’t know I was having a baby girl. Tash, you know me, I’ve always been passionate about women-centric issues for many years. It has been something close to my heart but now it’s a bit more personal. Now I’m actively looking at the world differently. You literally now have skin in the game! Exactly. What world are we creating, what environment, what opportunities? So it’s just something for me that couldn’t have come at a better time. I also had a lot of downtime during that period so I was able to keep my head down and start doing the unglamorous work away from the photoshoots and photo ops. It was also a time for us to sit down, have our meetings, talk strategy, create plans so that towards the end of this year we’d start executing a lot of those strategies. It was timely and I became a lot more passionate about it than I probably would have been before. Now that you are, in addition to everything else that you are: an amazing journalist, presenter, all of it, you also dabbled in a little bit of acting, a wife, and now a mum. How do you plan to balance it all? It hasn’t kicked in yet. I think it will when I smell the hustle inside that Lagos air. This phase is so calm and relaxing but I know when I get back it’s time to get back to business. In anticipation of it, I’m trying to make sure I get the right amount of support to adjust into a new routine before going into the hustle and bustle that we all have to get involved in to get ahead. I’m excited as well. The other day I had to go to a doctor’s appointment without her. I was so sad to be away from her. So I’m a little bit anxious about that. Separation Anxiety? Yes, very real but if that is what it is I’m going to have to overcome it at some point but I hope work wouldn’t allow me to be away from her for too long. Hand on heart, who does she look like? Girl… this is his twin. I have literally no part whatsoever in the creation of this human being. She has my hair, that’s it. She’s a photocopy of her dad. How is Vimbai feeling right now? Vimbai is feeling grateful. So grateful and so glad as well. Seeing as there’s so much pressure on us as women to tick all these boxes by a certain age, I’m so glad this is happening at a time society considered it too late in life because I never thought I’d be this grateful or committed if I was 10 years younger. Is it safe to say you are a feminist? Yeah, 100 percent. Whew! I had to exhale because I was saying to myself, please Vimbai don’t fall my hand. I ask this because when a feminist gets married and has a baby, people quickly jump to castigate them. Give me a few words to set the record straight on what feminism is. Feminism is a choice. It is giving women the agency, space and autonomy to make decisions that give them joy regardless of whatever those decisions look like and there’s no hard and fast way to do it. There’s no simple way. It looks different for everybody at different ages and in different seasons as well. It really breaks my heart that something so powerful and important has been reduced to man-bashing. It’s so far from it. I wish we would stop putting men at the centre of something that has nothing to do with men and everything to do with women. It’s about Women and their empowerment, uplifting, emancipation, and equality. Yup! And men are not even on the group chat.

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VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

HOTSPOT

PINTOS DIMSUM

CHINESE FOOD DELIVERY SERVICE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL AT HOME

Prawn Chow Mein

When you think about proper Chinese food on the mainland, you would be thinking amiss if Pintos Dimsum didn’t cross your mind. What started as Timi Onabolu’s dream to provide proper Chinese cuisine on the Lagos mainland has now matured into a fully functional oriental food business. According to Onabolu, “My chinese food obsession just got real” coupled with the COVID-19 pandemic that forced her out of her comfort zone as an educator and made a chef out of her. ,I WKH QDPH ŏ3LQWRVŐ ULQJV D EHOO LWōV SUREDEO\ EHFDXVH 3LQWRV ZDV RQH RI WKH ƓUVW IDVW IRRG HDWHULHV LQ /DJRV 1LJHULD LQ WKH HDUO\ ōV 7KHLU GLVWLQFW LFH FUHDP SDUORXU DQG ULFK ŴDYRXUIXO menu made Pintos a popular hangout spot for plenty Nigerian youths. +RZHYHU 3LQWRV 'LPVXP EULQJV D GLIIHUHQW NLQG RI ŴDYRU LQ WKH IRUP RI DXWKHQWLF FKLQHVH cuisine. With delicious food at practical prices, they are all about sharing colourful layers of a tasteful legacy rooted in an endless toast to family, food, friendship & the famous Pintos located at 9 Allen Avenue. DOWNTOWN’s Kehinde Fagbule and Chisom Njoku had a go at some of Pintos Dimsum’s meals and gave it an honest assessment.

Kehinde Fagbule

Chisom Njoku

Roast Pork Fried Rice

Special Fried Rice

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VOL 1 NO.25 • AUGUST 01 – AUGUST 07, 2021

Beef In Black Bean Sauce

I’ve always been a bit skeptical about oriental food but I brushed that aside and started off with the Prawn Chow Mein with Fish Chili sauce. The portion sizes were Ribs (Honey fire) large enough and it tasted delicious, the food was fresh and still warm which makes all the difference with seafood dishes. This came with pepper sauce which of course I utilized to give me that spicy burst of flavor I could relate to as an African man at heart. The Beef Black Bean Sauce and Garlic Rce were my next meal of interest. The main flavor in Black Bean Sauce comes from fermented black soybeans. These give it a somewhat funky note, but it was reduced with other strong flavors. This sauce was spicy, sweet, and salty. It had garlic, ginger, sugar, soy sauce, and warming spices in it, all of which contributed to the vigorous flavor. The Garlic Rice itself was brimming with flavor and paired very nicely with the sauce. This high protein delicacy was probably my favorite meal on the menu. Last on my list was the Special Fried Rice but don’t let the position fool you, it was definitely a delicious treat. Pintos Dimsum has the special fried rice on lock because it has a unique flavor that I quite frankly haven’t been able to forget about.

FASHION

Overtime, i’ve grown accustomed to the local cuisine and this was my first time trying Pintos Dimsum’s assorted meals. To be frank, the packaging already had me lovestruck with the partitioning ensuring that I could always measure my desired volume of sauce to go with each spoon of rice or noodles I mount. I kicked off the Chinese cuisine Olympics with the Special Fried Rice. Mixed with the Chicken Oyster Sauce, it was the perfect blend of local and bougie which sat right on my taste buds. Local because fried rice was always something I was familiar with and just as the name implied, this was quite special. This is my favourite combination on the menu. Next combination I tried was the Prawn Chow Mein and Fish Chilli Sauce. Fish and chilli on paper already feels like a power couple even before trial; this was exactly the case. The sauce proved its worth as one that could do no wrong as it combined flawlessly with the Prawn Chow Mein. It could’ve easily gone wrong with a different sauce but luck was on my side. This is a worthy contender for my favourite meal of the day. After consecutive hits with my choices, I tried my hands at another combination: Roast Pork Fried Rice and Sweet and Sour Pork. This duo quickly brought my taste buds back to a harsh reality as I had previously been in euphoria with the two previous dishes. Something about this combination that made me squeeze my face in disbelief; sour? Yes, that’s it: sweet and sour. I could feel the culture clash right on my tongue. This mix did not go well for me. Overall, it was a splendid experience as I had two dishes worth reminiscing about. Pintos Dimsum understood the assignment as they restored my faith in Chinese cuisine. Now I can wear back my adventure cloak but please just Pintos Dimsum for now. Baby steps.