VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
Mother’s Day
ADUNNI ADE
With
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 1
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
EDITOR’S NOTE
Photo: @HairByUgo
CONTENTS
8-9
COVER STORY: Mother’s Day
With Adunni Ade
NO MATTER HOW OLD I GET, I’LL ALWAYS NEED MY MUM
I
’d first of all like to ask for a moment of silence for the beloved mothers who are no longer with us on Earth to be celebrated today. Even in death, their love is still felt by all the lives they touched and they will never be forgotten. It is still the month of women and we are indeed knee-deep into it as we celebrate Nigerian mothers. There are at least 3 different days dedicated to ‘Mother’s Day’ across the world, depending on your country- please feel free to celebrate your mum on all 3 if you can. They certainly deserve it as our stunning Cover girl Adunni Ade will reveal in her interview. The talented actress is a single mum raising two amazing sons, killing it in the movie industry in-spite of the odds stacked against her. In fact those obstacles have become the very stepping stones upon which she climbs as she heads to the top and she balances her constant leading role as mum with everything else in her life. We have some other women who are making marks and expanding the conversations in motherhood. From resources for new mothers to caring for societies unwanted and uncared for kids, we speak to Yetty Williams of Lagos Mums and Kemi Ojenike of The Destiny Trust Foundation and Orphanage. There is a lot more than biology involved in being a mum and that must be put into perspective for us to create a better world.
5
ODDBOD & THE CITY
March Madness, Moody Teenagers... Happy Mother’s Day!
Speaking of a better world, I never thought I would see the day that a pregnant black woman would be on global television, being interviewed by Oprah and telling her truth against Buckingham palace and its inhabitants because she is married to one of their own. Listen! It’s a brave new world and we are blessed to see it. Our website column mines social media as they weigh in on the Prince Harry and Meghan conversation. I celebrate the mothers, mothers-in-waiting, mums to be, step mums, mothers in the Lord and any woman who nurtures, cares and loves those around her like her own. To my own mum who called me ‘Editor’ long before it became a reality, I love you Sister Ngor. You are a very special lady and I might be a handful sometimes but I hope I’ve shown you just how much you mean to me.
Adunni and her boys
LATASHA NGWUBE @latashalagos
THE TEAM
Editor: Latasha Ngwube Editor-at-Large: Chalya Shagaya Beauty Editor: Onah Nwachukwu @onahgram Contributing Editor: Odun Ogunbiyi @oddbodandthecity Senior Writer: Chisom Njoku @inchisomwetrust Contributing Writer: Boluwatife Adesina Graphics/Layout: Olatunji Samson Digital Media: Oladimeji Balogun Interns: Sophia Edisi Tobiloba Olakolu Kehinde Fagbule Tilewa Kazeem
Guest Photographer: Olasunkanmi Onifade @sunrealphotography Make-Up Artist: Ayobami Adebanjo @beautybyayobird Guest Art Director: Sunny Hughes ‘ SunZA’
12-13 FASHION A night in Zamunda
14
The best beauty gifts for Mum this Mothering Sunday
16
Sorosoke Downtown: Mory Coco
PAGE 2
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 2
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
Mothers are Superheroes too! BY TILEWA KAZEEM Motherhood, an eternal and rigorous journey, sparked off by a fetus that slowly gestates for 9 months. Thrusting its hosts into a cosmos of pain while tethered to love and affection, it contours the body and scars the mind. A necessary travail that inadvertently readies them for the journey, crafting superheros out of them.
Security and Protection We all know the climax of every superhero story is swooping in, beating up bad guys, and saving the day- made possible by either being struck by lightning or some sort of genetic modification. The bottom line here is this, these enhancements or whatnot makes protection and security a whole lot easier. Qualities like these, when you think about them are synonymous with mothers. Right from conception, the brains of mothers are rewired into protecting their offspring and serve as training wheels to help ease young mothers into motherhood. This psychological modification lasts for about two years after the baby has been conceived and is responsible for outrightly extraordinary feats. The mother develops a psychedelic link with the baby, being able to tell when something is off with her newborn. Unlike superheroes, there haven’t been that many movie adaptations of this superpower mothers possess. With motherhood, there’s no day off. It’s a free but sacrificial full-time job. Bearing in mind that these mothers will still have to juggle their careers and be in charge of the family. These are queens I stan hard!
A
s kids, we were made to believe that superheroes were fictional characters that could fly, swing from buildings, possess superhuman strength, and looked badass in spandex. Oblivious of the real-life superheroes in our lives. Our mothers. I know what you’re thinking, “what about the father? Isn’t he a superhero?” Well, yes he is, but let’s put this into perspective… if the father is the head of the family, then mother is technically the neck. As the head of the family traffics through his responsibilities of providing for the family, he leaves the running and welfare of the family in the hands of the mother- “the neck” and all is just ok. The responsibilities wrapped around being a mother and the entirety of motherhood is the hardest yet most rewarding job for a woman. It’s a comet of a thousand emotions hurled at women at a thousand miles per second. It takes someone incredibly brave to endure. I’d like to take this moment to appreciate all the mothers and women reading this. You ladies are superheroes. In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to highlight just a few superhero qualities of a mother.
Unconditional Love Love and superheroes are like five and six. It’s a constant and I have nothing against it because love sells. Asides from that, love stands as a criteria all superheroes musthave. Mothers also share this unconditional love. One formed from the flames of pain, tears and contractions. A seed planted by a higher force with them as the gardeners. The responsibility of every inhale and exhale sits on their shoulders. Their bodies stretched beyond its breaking point, scarred and riddled with insomnia. All that doesn’t matter seeing as it’s rewards outweigh all the battles. The inextinguishable love influences how they mold the present and future of that child. New inductees into motherhood and incumbent ones are ready to sacrifice their time and lives for their children. The beautiful burden of being a mother/superhero. Mothers never stop being mothers. They never hang their capes or take off their costumes rather they are in their costumes even till death. So daughters and sons take this moment to appreciate the woman that brought you into this world. The woman that nurtured you with love, affection and care. That woman deserves the world and no amount of forwarded WhatsApp messages can change that.
PAGE 3
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 3
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
INTERVIEW
YETTY WILLIAMS:
PARENTING IN
THE 21ST CENTURY
Every day, there are new mothers - and fathers - in Lagos, Nigeria with little or no idea how to navigate the new phase nature has propelled them into. It’s a whole life journey from what meals to eat during the first trimester to what meals to pack in their teenager’s lunch box; parenthood never stops. To create a platform where this information can be accessible, Yetty Williams started a little blog 10 years ago that has grown into Nigeria’s premier parenting resource community. Mostly digital, they also have occasional empowerment programs, masterclasses, webinars, a radio show and an annual parenting conference, all in a bid to create a safe space and opportunities for parents to thrive. She talked more elaborately with DOWNTOWN’S Kehindé Fagbule on the venture LagosMums and all things parenting in Nigeria.
W
hat is LagosMums and why was it established?
LagosMums is a platform and a parenting community focused on mums, parents and caregivers raising children in the 21st century. It was established in 2011 when I, myself was a stay at home mom with a toddler and a baby. During this time, I had a lot of questions and I was resorting online to get answers to specific parenting needs or challenges. Shopping for everything that I was looking for, as a new parent, I was increasingly going online and that’s when I found there’s a huge gap for information that resonated with me, or that was relevant to me as a mother in Lagos, Nigeria. That is how the idea of LagosMums started primarily as a blog. Over the years, it’s evolved from just a blog to becoming a real community for parents, both locally in Lagos, Nigeria, but also globally as well.
What are the more common issues that mums come up with on the platform?
The platform has had a spectrum of different issues but for the earlier years, the choice of domestic staff is always a big question. Questions around the type of school to go to, questions around work-life balance are also very important in the early years. A lot of the questions we get as the children get older has to do a lot with technology; use of screen times; how much is too much, how much is too late to making sure that they put the rules in place so they’re able to monitor their children’s online behavior. The digital world isn’t going anywhere, so the truth is, we all need to learn how to be successful digital citizens in general.
What are the biggest misconceptions about motherhood?
I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that when a woman becomes a mother, everything else in life is no more important and that motherhood takes over. While it is true that being a mother is very all-encompassing, takes a lot of time and is very intense, it’s also really important that mothers don’t forget who they are as individuals and they take time to ensure that they take care of themselves. I’ll also say a misconception is that mothers never have time for themselves, they should sacrifice for everybody else and put themselves at the bottom of the priority list. It’s always about caring for their families and forgetting themselves and the reality is a woman who doesn’t take care of herself is not going to be able to give her best to her family. So it’s really important that women understand that self-care is not a luxury. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about other people but rather, when you take care of yourself first and foremost, then you’re in a good place emotionally, physically, mentally so
that you can then be the best parent and the best individual possible.
Mental health in parenthood. While it is a new and developing concept that women are now paying attention to in Nigeria today, where do the men factor in this conversation?
One of the biggest contributors to mental health challenges that I find with women in general, both from experience and some real-life situations that I encountered in my work with LagosMums is a sense of hopelessness, this sense of despair that some people feel because they feel they have to do everything themselves. I think it’s critical that you must get rid of the guilt that comes with this idea that you should be superhuman and you should do everything by yourself. You need to get comfortable with delegating and outsourcing. I believe that being a parent, an intentional parent, is not something you can outsource but there are many other things you can outsource that somebody else can do. Chores like cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping and going to the market, these are things you can outsource so that you can have more quality time with your family. Lagos life is very hectic, there’s traffic, there are issues to deal with, quality time with your children is something that you want to prioritize as much as possible. Where the men come in is that spouses need to understand this and need to see parenting as something that’s both people’s job. It is the job of the father, and the mother, they’re supposed to co-parent. It’s not one person’s responsibility. So it’s really important that the men, our sons that we’re raising, realize that family is important, and everybody has a part to play. I believe the more we’re having conversations around what a healthy, wholesome family looks like, the more we would have more people getting involved like we’ve already seen from my very first session. We started having annual parenting conferences about eight years ago and the very first ones we had, maybe we had two or three dads. Now we have many more dads who are showing up, joining parents in sessions, signing
up for the masterclasses that we hold, because they know that they want to be much more hands-on and involved parents.
Do you have guides/tips for new mums (or mums with kids) during this pandemic era?
Yes, the pandemic has commonly shaken things up for everybody and I think it’s important to realize that we’ve all been affected as parents, adults, children and a lot has changed. Research shows that it takes sixty-six days to learn new habits, so the truth is, everybody has picked up new habits over almost the last year. As things start to get back to normal, children are returning to school physically, parents themselves are going back to work. We all need to just be kind to ourselves, we need to take time to get used to how things used to be, we have to continue to take all the precautions necessary. So make sure you’re washing your hands regularly, you’re wearing your mask when you go out. If your child is unwell, please keep them home, don’t send them to school. It’s also really important that we look at our mental health. Everybody needs to get out, get some sunlight, get some movement and exercise, we must be doing everything that benefits us mentally, physically, emotionally because they all work together. For parents who still have children at home, perhaps online learning, parents must have a structure and have a plan around the day. So if you’re a working parent, for example, and you have your spouse, you have young children who need you to sit with them to attend online school, you might (as much as is possible) want to try and have more flexible working hours. Maybe one parent is on morning duty, the other parent is on afternoon duty, or you try talking to your boss at work. This is a time to speak up and to think about alternative ways of doing things differently than we’ve been used to. For example, we’ve all found that we can be productive right from our homes if one wants to be. As challenging as this period has been, it will pass and we just have to do what we can do, as best as we can and whatever is not a priority (in my opinion), my advice is to leave it for now. You can get to that somewhere down the line when the time comes. For more information and years worth of research, articles, content, resources, downloads on everything when it comes to raising children in the 21stcentury, parenting, motherhood and family, you can find Yetty on lagosmums.com and across Instagram, Facebook and Twitter as @LagosMums.
PAGE 4
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 4
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
ODDBOD & THE CITY
ODUN OGUNBIYI
MARCH MADNESS,
MOODY TEENAGERS... HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
M
y fellow Nigerians, who have we offended? This heat has kept my temper on a simmer and addled my brain. Despite this March Madness, I hope you are all taking the time to honour the mothers in your life, those here on earth and those celebrating up in heaven. Being a mother is one of the greatest joys of my life, even though I am currently dealing with a moody teenager. Happy Mother’s Day. This is Oddbod and the City, my Lagos adventure.
Harry, Meghan, and Oprah Just to clarify, I have not yet had the opportunity to watch the full interview, but you would have to live in Narnia to have missed the tsunami of information. After it aired, the quotes and clips from the interview proper have been a revelation. For the record, I would like to put my mood thus far as ‘disappointed but not surprised’. I experienced the special brand of British racism first hand—different from that inyour-face, pitchfork-waving, whitesheet-wearing, redneck-given-theright-to-bear-arms version you get in America. The British have a special kind of superiority complex imprinted in their DNA. The same DNA that caused the occupants of that tiny little island to go out and conquer the rest of the planet and then impose their ways and beliefs on the rest of us. The status quo now is all politeness and forbearance… to a point. Woe betide you if you think you have any RIGHT to be treated as an equal. With all that is being said, what I can’t STAND, what has literally got me grinding my teeth and triggering headaches, are the conversations being had. The behaviour and notions being excused.
Meghan revealed her mental health took her to a dark place and she was offered no support, and my heart bleeds for her. The ‘Firm’ has indicated that a response is in the works… personally, I think there is nothing to say. The curtain has been drawn back; the dark underbelly has been revealed. The silver lining though is I know Diana is looking down with pride at her son. Prince Harry has stepped up in fairy tale proportions to support himself, his wife, and his son and be the husband his mother deserved. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.
SLoW Where to start with this review? First of all, I was having a catch-up dinner with two of my dearest friends whom I had not seen in months. Second of all, securing a table was an act of military cunning and diplomatic precision (we put our top general on the case) because this restaurant is fully booked for the next couple of months. Yes, you read that right. They are currently in the soft opening stage and only open for dinner so book your table NOW. Last and certainly not least, OH MY GAH! Gorgeous space! the last time I got this vibe I was stepping into a space at the W in Miami. The food? I suggest you try a bit of everything. The story goes that the proprietors, a lovely couple whom you may know from their successful previous venture RSVP, travelled the globe tasting and trying all kinds of foods before coming back to present it
to you in Victoria Island. I apologise, I was so in the moment I did not take notes. I am still dreaming of the shrimp taco, a guacamole and lobster concoction, and there was a heavenly lamb situation also. The lychee martini and negroni were both perfection. There was a live band softly adding a sort of cool, jazzy, laid back funk vibe to the evening. I am glad I got dressed up and adulted for the occasion, there was lipstick…although as usual I could not, would not wear heels!
PAGE 5
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 5
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
INTERVIEW
MOTHERHOOD: BIOLOGICALLY OR OTHERWISE Every Mother’s Day, we honor, appreciate and celebrate the importance and influence of mothers in our lives and our society. Being a mother doesn’t necessarily have to mean having your own biological children, there are countless women who have taken up the role of motherhood and dedicated their time and effort to less privileged children. One of such women is Mrs. Kemi Ojenike, co-founder of The Destiny Trust Foundation and Rehabilitation Center, an organization that educates, supports, empowers, and caters to the needs of less privileged children. She spoke to DOWNTOWN’S Sophia Edisi about the role she plays as a mother to the children she cares for, the challenges she faces running an orphanage, and lots more.
T
ell me a little bit about yourself, family, and your foundation. My name is Kemi Ojenike and I’m the cofounder of The Destiny Trust Foundation that was set up in 2012 as an initiative to respond to the troubles of street children. It was based on the personal experience of some of our co-founders who interacted with children who were uneducated and begging on the street, so we decided to investigate a little more to find out where they were based. At the time, they were living and sleeping at the Bar-beach front and so we decided to do something about it. We started by taking food to them monthly, interacting and learning more about them. We did that for six months, from August 2012 to the end of the year. We realized that we needed a more substantial intervention and so we set up a center in Ibeju Lekki called The Destiny Trust Learnings and Rehabilitation Centre which is a multi-purpose center. It serves as a formal home to street children and it’s also a center for education and a community center as well. The center is focused on three core areas. Our first focus is on education, then care and empowerment. We believe that the best tool to help lift children out of poverty or very difficult vulnerable situations is education and so we run a range of educational programs. We have children on scholarship and we work with slum communities to enroll children in public schools. We do that every year and so the idea is we work with public schools as well to help them so that they can support the children that we have enrolled. We have children in boarding schools as well. Under the care program, we have a number of children living at the center, children that don’t have homes to go to or children that do not have a stable home environment. They live in the center and that is where they go to school, receive health care and education. Our empowerment program which is the third leg of what we do is us knowing that not every child would go into a traditional school. Some have gone past the school-age so we try to equip them with skills, technology, and vocational skills to essentially help and empower them to be able to make a living in the future and to be able to cope with the changing world in the future; that’s where our technology program comes in. We also empower women because women are the bedrock of society and the home, and you know if the woman is sorted then there is a higher chance that the children will be fine. So we have
empowerment programs for women where we help them set up work and gain access to loans to enable them to get on their feet so they too can support themselves. How did you get involved with the orphanage? In the beginning it was never our intention to start a center. Our intention was to find out what was really going on with the children and help them but we realized that for us to be sustainable and for us to be able to do more and invite the public to do more, we needed a structure. One of the things that we have learnt over time is if you want to do good, the first thing to do is probably not to start a foundation, you should be clear on what you want to do to confirm if there are other people that are doing it that you can work with because there are so many organizations and if the goal is to help people then collaboration would be a great way to do so but if after you have worked for a while and done your findings, you have actually started off and realized that you need a formal structure to be able to go far then you need to register an NGO with a corporate access commission. You also need to get the necessary license because we are licensed and regulated by Lagos state so you need to get that done as well. What is the definition of a mother to you? A mother is someone who has decided to take on the job of caring for and protecting a child. It need not be a biological mother but I believe that anyone who decides that they are interested in the wellbeing of a child and contribute their time, effort, and resources to ensure that the child has a good life, provide support and defend them; that is who I believe is a mother. How does the role you play as mother affect or impact the lives of the children? The way all of us as human beings are designed, we need support, love, and encouragement in life and so some of the children that come from these disadvantaged backgrounds: usually either because the mother is late or unable to care for them or there are just some reasons why they don’t have a stable living environment. They lack that support they need as they are growing up and what we try to do is to provide that support, to bridge the gap and the truth of the matter is when you do that (and because they are human like everybody else born into that type of circumstance), you notice the support helps them to be able to thrive, grow, discover their potential, to learn and realize that life can be better and believe a good life is possible for them. That motherly support helps them focus on their dreams as well as know there is actually light and good in the world and they too can be the best that they can be.
What advice would you give women who have adopted or are caregivers to children who aren’t theirs? I think taking care of a human being is one of the most important assignments that one can ever have because in a human being, no matter the circumstances of their birth the potential and what we can be is limitless. As caregivers, as mothers even non-biological mothers, we need to deal with children with this mindset that we are caretakers; we are like custodians, it’s like God has given you something special and said “I am putting you in charge of this, take care of it for me”. The question at the end of the day is, what sort of custodian do you want to be? Do you want to be the one that abused and maltreated a potential president, for instance, because the person was not your biological child or do you want to be the one that later in life, that child will come up and acknowledge how his or her life changed for the better because of this person. That is the way to look at it. When a child is in my care, I am a temporary custodian to the child and I need to do my work very well so that at the end of the day I will be proud of the outcome and my contribution to this child. It doesn’t matter if the child is your biological child or not, as far as a human being is in your care we must treat them with the utmost responsibility and love. Taking care of non-biological children is not the responsibility of some people and I know that not everybody can set up an orphanage or a learning center, but we all should sort of have a heart to contribute to the well-being of another person. Everyone has something to give or contribute to improve our society and it’s the little contribution to the lives of other people without expecting any reward that will actually transform our country.
PAGE 6
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 6
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
Marge Simpson - The Simpsons (1989-Present) For 30+ years now, Marge has been the force that keeps the Simpsons together. Always trying to be positive and happy, she has the personality that is the perfect antidote to Homer’s crazy antics. Risk-averse, her family may often see her as a killjoy, but she’s only trying to protect them.
BY BOLUWATIFE ADESINA
Sarah Connor -Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
of The Best Mothers on TV and In Film
Linda Hamilton morphs from the damsel-in-distress of the first ‘Terminator’ film to the hardcore mom of John Connor in ‘T2.’ While Arnold Schwarzenegger might have had the most quotable lines as the T-800, Hamilton is the true badass of James Cameron’s flick. The thing about Hamilton’s portrayal of Sarah is that she’s tough but not invincible, which makes her that much mentally capable than the robots she battles to save her son. Her vulnerabilities, her softness and her motherly qualities are what make her human, qualities that may become extinct should Skynet prevail. Lena Headey and Emilia Clarke have also taken cracks at the character of Sarah, but Hamilton is the gold standard. Well there you have it. These (again, fictional) women may look very different but they are all superb mothers and their families would all suffer heavily if they weren’t present, just like in our world. So take some time and appreciate a mom today. Happy Mother’s Day!
If you stop and look around, you’d realize that moms are literally doing it all, and often for everyone but themselves. As the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic disproportionately impacts working moms, this year provides yet another reason to show the mom (or moms) in your life how much you appreciate all she does. To celebrate these wonderful members of society, I decided to list out 5 of my favorite (fictional) moms from both TV and Film, along with a short blurb on why they made my list. From movies that depict strong working moms to shows that follow amazing women who, despite being under a tremendous amount of pressure, persevere, these women may be fictional, but they each epitomize some characteristics attributable to the best real-world mothers.
Elastigirl/Mrs.Incredible -The Incredibles (2004) Very few movie moms hold their families together quite as literally as Mrs. Incredible. Flexible, unflappable, sympathetic but firm, she’s in tune with her kids’ needs, works to keep dad involved, and generally inspires boundless confidence. She’s also a homemaker who can fly a jet plane.
Scan this with your camera to access the playlist (Apple Music)
Scan this with your camera to access the playlist (Spotify)
Mother’s Day Playlist
Molly Weasley - Harry Potter (2001-2011) Table the magic debate. Presiding over an unruly but happy working-class household of nine, including Harry’s best friend (as well as his eventual wife), Mrs. Weasley’s maternal heart runs over, embracing Harry as a surrogate son. Don’t let her frumpy look fool you: Her wand isn’t for show… attack her family at your peril.
1. Sweet Mother -Prince Rico Mbarga and Rocafil Jazz International
4. Hey Mama -Kanye West
Clair Huxtable - The Cosby Show (1984-1992) In 2006, Clair was voted as TV’s favourite mum in a survey and this does not come as a surprise. Played excellently by Phylicia Rashad,a noted feminist, Clair is a strong and outspoken woman who is always in charge, a disciplinarian and over the run of the show became a very successful lawyer. Is there anything she can’t do?!
2. Mother -Kacey Musgraves
3. Dear Mama -2Pac
5. Leave the Door Open -Silk Sonic (Bruno Mars & Anderson. Paak)
PAGE 7
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 7
12/03/2021 08:11
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
COVER
Photography: Olasunkanmi Onifade @sunrealphotography Creative Direction: @onahgram MUA: Ayobami Adebanjo @beautybyayobird Styled: @kikstylish Shoot Assistant: @techtalkwtilly
PAGE 8
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 8
12/03/2021 08:12
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
COVER
Mother’s Day With
ADUNNI ADE
On any given day you could turn on your television and chances are you would find Adunni Ade’s gorgeous face on your screen, possibly speaking fluent Yoruba or maybe with English with an American twang or pidgin- all depending on what her roles call for. What you wouldn’t immediately know is that beneath that exterior lies a hardworking single mum to two amazing sons, D’marion and Ayden. Her journey to stardom has been fraught with so many obstacles but keeping her sons and her faith at the center of it all, has helped her remain focused, drowning out all the noise. Her own American mother and Nigerian father separated while she was quite young. She was raised by her dad and step mum alongside her step siblings but didn’t always have an easy childhood. Her determination to seek out more found her reunited with her mother in America after her secondary school education in Ota, Ogun state. There, she got into university, fell into modeling and also a relationship that would produce her two boys. Balancing motherhood in the wake of a pandemic that has forced many out of work is not a walk in the park and she takes on her responsibilities with all seriousness. Her arrival at the photoshoot is timely and she walks in with an air of pleasantness, lighting up the room instantly. It’s easy to understand why in addition to her talent she is becoming a house hold name despite the many issues she faces constantly. She simply shows up, does her bit and exits while the ovation is loudest. So this Mother’s Day, Ms Ade opens up to DOWNTOWN’s Editor Latasha Ngwube on the things most personal to her- career, faith and motherhood.
A
cting has a knack for throwing curve balls with a lot of back and forth which can keep you away from your kids. As a single mum how have you being able to maintain a good balance? It’s not as bad as it may seem compared to when I was still in Kentucky. I worked 2 jobs back, heading out of the house by 4:30am to drop them off at the daycare and would pick them up before midnight (24 hrs daycare). Being in Nigeria, I’ve adjusted better and the hours of work are a bit more flexible coupled with me having a live-in nanny. In the recent years things have gotten easier as my babies are in boarding schools now. I just make sure I plan my work schedule to fit theirs (visiting days, pickup and drop off dates, holidays) I keep those days open to spend time with them. Being a parent is a very cumbersome task riddled with ups and downs alongside being a single mother. What mantra do you recite to yourself and what gives you that inner strength to keep pushing on? “Keep moving Adunni, keep moving!” There is a fire burning so deep within me, stopping, quitting…
those are not options for me at least not anytime soon. It takes guts to take on parenting alone. What prompted you to take the executive decision to separate from the father of your kids? It should have happened sooner than it did but after 8 years, I had to throw the towel in. It just didn’t workout and I was too stubborn to admit it. Coming from a broken home myself I didn’t want that for myself or my children. I gave it my all but you’ve got to realize somethings aren’t meant to be to keep your sanity for you and yours. I chose the highway. In light of Mother’s day what was it like being mom early and what hurdles did you have to overcome to be where you are today? I wasn’t a helpless teenager but a young woman already at university. I was alone, I had doubts as well as fear of the unknown. My paternal family were all in Nigeria and my maternal family weren’t the best as they already wanted nothing to do with my mom or her children because racism. It was a terrible feeling but I’ve always been a fighter. Giving up isn’t what I do. There have been discussions on how raising boys can be hard. What have you learnt from raising your sons and how has it changed you? Raising children in general isn’t an easy task because you’re pretty much living your life for them. Any parent would agree raising children can be stressful but you’ve just got to be patient, breathe, take control of every situation and the rest will follow. I have learnt through my sons the true meaning of love. As your sons navigate into different stages like teen hood, what age would you say has been the most challenging so far? You know what? It wasn’t as much their different ages and stages that challenged me as it was their personalities. D’marion is a calmer child while Ayden will get your adrenaline going (laugh). You often hear the expression “fingers aren’t equal”, so you have to know what works for who. It’s no news how much you love your sons. You can practically walk on hot coals for them but how would you describe your parenting style when it comes to issues of discipline and correction? It has always been just us 3. We are very close I must say and hold conversations most parents may not have with their wards but that doesn’t stop me from being a disciplinarian. I correct them when it’s needed. With regards to the opposite sex, do you care to share the kinds of conversations you are having with your sons on the prevailing issues within society today? I speak more to D’marion about this as it is pertinent to him at the moment. I let him know there is a time for everything and this time we are in right now is for studies and not otherwise.
PAGE 9
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 9
12/03/2021 08:12
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
COVER Without going into much detail, he knows what shouldn’t be done. Born into a Muslim family, you switched to Christianity and then switched back to Islam. What made you go through this phase and what impact has it had on your kids? When I left Nigeria, I was sort of lost, unsure about life and didn’t know what way to go. I found myself in a hole without guidance, I had lost touch with God. I met mommy (God sent) Mrs Adejoke Oluleye who was and still is an MFM Pastor. She gave me the guidance I needed, the nurturing I yearned for and helped put me on the right path with God. All this time, Islam lived in my heart. When I relocated here, I wanted to, needed to get back with what works for me religiously and that is Islam. Look, no shame in my game. I have attended so many churches, MFM, Redeem, CLAM, etc I know talking about religion can be quite sensitive so I made sure I never did publicly but when the questions became too much from fans, being honest was the only way. I had converted back to Islam years prior to my post and a lot of my colleagues were aware. I have always been truthful in my dealings with people so why hide this? The constant questions were becoming too much, however revealing this, I lost fans, well wishers, followers but oh well! I never lost God. Love is the ultimate religion and that I have.
Despite being born in the states and living more than half your life there you speak fluent Yoruba. How did you learn to speak the language so well? I learnt from my lovely grandmother the real Adunni Ade (smile) With a Nigerian father and an American mother, what made you decide to start a career in Nigeria and not America? I actually started in America as a model in 2005 doing fashion runway and shooting editorials. I started my online skits then, probably the first female to do this back then. Through my skits, opportunities started coming my way and I began getting movie roles that required me to travel down to Nigeria, film and go back. I later made the decision to move here to solely focus on this aspect of entertainment with my children. I have grown so much over the years and still growing. If more opportunities come forth in other parts of the world, up and off I go. There have been rumors of extreme behavior towards you by some people in the entertainment industry. Instances of colorism and prejudice against you to frustrate your passion for acting and essentially push you out of that space. How have your dealt with these obstacles? Phew! You noticed? (Laughs) For as long as you’ve got life, you’ve got hope. For years, I never spoke up whenever these sort of questions were asked. I
In my little ‘ole world, I stand in my truth and for that I get hated on or shadowbanned. They say destiny can only be delayed never canceled so we riding till the wheels fall off.
would play it off but my eyes have seen o! I pat myself on the back for not giving up. Many would ask “Don’t you think you made it this far due to your color?” And I’m thinking, what color? Same folks who bashed me and spoke ill of me to prevent me from getting casted are the same who are trying to be like me in terms of complexion, dressing, etc. What I was condemned for is and has now become a norm for a lot of women in this part of the world. Fall 9 times, get back up 10 so no human gets to dictate my path. A lot of folks love to be lied to, deceived and enjoy kissing behinds but that doesn’t work or sit well with me. In my little ‘ole world, I stand in my truth and for that I get hated on or shadow-banned. They say destiny can only be delayed never canceled so we riding till the wheels fall off. You’ve become something of a veteran in Nollywood with a record of at least 45 movies a year both in English and Yoruba. Which genre do you honestly prefer and what are (if any) the similarities and differences in struggles both worlds have? 45 movies a year is very modest as my annual project numbers are more much higher. I enjoy what I do but I believe we have a long way to go. The structure is still not there and a lot of actors still do not get what is deserved. I applaud a lot of people trying their best to make things easier and creating more exposure for Nollywood across the globe. Aunty Mo Abudu has done fantastically and so has my brother Kunle Afolayan. Yoruba creators aren’t scared for me to show depth. I am constantly challenged to push further in my delivery and will forever be grateful to them for that. I would love to see more roles created for my kind (color wise) beyond the drama genre. More action, thriller, and even horror stories would be appreciated. Between both worlds though I won’t say I prefer one to another, mine is to work and deliver and let me keep making my coins (laughs). How would you describe your overall time so far as an actress in Nigeria and what useful tips do you have for new ladies in the industry? It has been a ride. Sometimes it’s a bumpy road, or a narrow one and it’s had smooth moments too. In all, I am thankful to every producer, director, actor and crew member I have ever worked with. I have learnt so much from them. To the ones coming, I’d say be yourself and stay in your lane. Keep your eyes on your prize and remember this is a race not a family reunion. Lagos being the social central of Nigeria it is a norm for stars to live within the epicenter of the entertainment space. Why have you chosen to break from the norm and live far away from most? Home is where the heart is. You are a very physically attractive woman that would have no end of suitors. What is your dating life like as a single parent in the spotlight? Privacy is key! Have I dated in the past? Sure but my personal life is for me to know and for you to find out. (Smile) That part of me isn’t important. Beyond being the best mum you can be what is Adunni’s greatest ambition and possible legacy? Success! To achieve more success! To be known as a woman who stood up for the right things in life. To be known as a woman who never gave up and thrived in all her dealings, while standing for her truth.
PAGE 10
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 10
12/03/2021 08:12
VOL VOL 1 1NO.5 NO.5• •MARCH MARCH14 14––MARCH MARCH 20, 20, 2021
websights DOWNTOWN
and
A ROYAL FUMBLE RUMBLE BY BOLUWATIFE ADESINA & LATASHA NGWUBE
A more practical example of marriages dividing family that kept coming up during the conversation surrounding the Oprah interview was the case of the twins formerly known together as P-Square. As is common knowledge, Peter Okoye sided with his wife over his family, leading to a split with his brother Paul. The takes flowed: As it’s clear to see, there are more parallels between the Sussexes and everyday interactions with in-laws than meets the eye. Any marriage is a balancing act of many plates all in play at once. Not everyone has been able to pull it off. We’ll see how the Sussexes do as the situation continues to unfold.
Harry, Meghan and Archie
Photo credit Misan Harriman
T
he biggest story of the week was the interview between the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and Oprah Winfrey. The hourlong interview aired on Sunday, 7 March 2021 and contained numerous bombshell claims regarding the treatment of Meghan by both the British press and the Royal Family itself. As this interview was airing, it sparked numerous discussions on social media due to the nature of claims made by Prince Harry and Meghan. The crux of the conversations online was the argument over whether Meghan and Harry pulling away from the Royal Family was the right decision or if Harry was being manipulated in some way by Meghan. On Twitter, sides were taken, with some users siding with the Sussexes decision to leave the Royal Family. Some others, like former BBN winner, Uti Nwachukwu said they’d side with their family over any wife… Another user with a quite interesting take was media personality, Toke Makinwa, who in essence said that what Meghan was going through was not dissimilar to the plights of many married Nigerian women.
PAGE 11
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 11
12/03/2021 08:12
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
FASHION
A NIGHT IN ZAMUNDA: THE BEST LOOKS FROM THE PREMIERE OF COMING 2 AMERICA BY FILMHOUSE
Bayo Olubobokun
Toyin Abraham
Beverly Naya Akin Faminu
Chuey Chu
BY KEHINDE FAGBULE & TILEWA KAZEEM
I
t was a night of ostentatious elegance, culture, and some laughs at The Filmhouse Cinemas, Lekki. The sequel to the 1988 slapstick comedy “Coming to America” had left the royal lands of Zamunda and finally premiered in Lagos, Nigeria. It was good to see Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall back with their shenanigans but everyone was buzzing at the sight of Davido on the big screen. The premiere hosted some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry in stunning, head-turning outfits. Presented by Downtown Magazine’s team, these are the Best Dressed from the event.
Bridget Chigbufue
Chigul
Ik Osakioduwa
PAGE 12
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 12
12/03/2021 08:12
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
FASHION
Chioma ‘Good Hair’ Ikokwu
Seyi Shay
Kim Oprah
Daala Oruwari
Nadine Audifferen
Denrele Edun
Prince
Idia Aisen
Emmanuel Ikubese
Jennifer Obuevi
Ezinne Asinugo
Yvonne Jegede
PAGE 13
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 13
12/03/2021 08:13
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
BEAUTY
THE BEST BEAUTY GIFTS FOR MUM THIS
MOTHERING SUNDAY BY ONAH NWACHUKWU Every year there’s that day when you get the opportunity to show that special woman in your life how much you love her… yes, you guessed it, Mother’s Day- a day to officially spoil your mum for holding the ‘toughest job on the planet’ title. So I have compiled a list of some treats just for mum. From makeup to a day at the spa, here are a few ideas of what to gift your mum.
3 SPA DAY A spa day is an excellent choice for a mother’s day gift. However, in these times of the pandemic, ensure that you check out the spa first to be sure they are in line with COVID-19 guidelines.
Collage of Perfumes
4 PERFUME Cliché as it may sound, every woman likes a new scent so why not spoil mum with a bottle of perfume
Dior Makeup
5 MAKEUP
Tara Bond and Her Mum Photographed By Femi Alabede
You can never have too much makeup, and neither can mum regardless of how old she is. A word of advice, because as we get older we have fine lines, it is important to include a good primer when buying this gift.
R&R Shea Sugar Scrub
1 BODY SCRUB It’s always a good idea to exfoliate so why not gift her a jar of body scrub to pamper her skin with. She’ll love it, and her skin will thank you for it.
Basket Of Biologique Recherche
2 BEAUTY HAMPER You can’t go wrong with a hamper full of beauty products. While making a choice for mum, consider her age and skin type. I recommend Biologique Recherche- it works wonders on the skin.
R&R Scented Candle
6 SCENTED CANDLES A scented candle’s aroma can be very meditative and calming-just the right gift for a mum to help her escape into a whole new world.
PAGE 14
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 14
12/03/2021 08:13
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
THE SCENE DOWNTOWN
THE GRAND LAUNCH OF OLAH COSMETICS BY TOBILOBA OLAKOLU
Lolo
Linda Ejiofor
Chigurl
Lapearl
O
Derenle Edun
Hilda Dokubo
Oladunni Ayorinde, CEO Olah Cosmetics
Women Arise Conference 2.0 BY SOPHIA EDISI
lah Cosmetics is a makeup brand that is focused on highlighting the beauty of women with a range of products. Last weekend, the brand held its launch of Africa’s first powdered lipstick which comes in 3 color variants, red, pink and nude. The event which was held at Oniru, Lekki, Lagos, was hosted by soon-to-be mom Oladunni and attracted media personalities, celebrities and friends of the brand. These are some pictures from the event.
Rosemary Afuwape
Titi Oyinsan
I
n the wake of the covid-19 pandemic, gender abuse and intimate partner violence has spiked considerably. Iteach Africa convened by Ebimoboere Timi Alaibe Elezieanya in partnership with the Ministry of Women Affairs, the Nigerian Police Force and a few other notable organizations held a four-day conference that included grassroots sensitization, an awareness walk and breakout sessions in Abuja.The movement provides a support system for gender and domestic violence, advocates against stigmatization and empowers survivors to share their stories.
Uche Onyewuchi, Dr Chioka Elezieanya & Mr and Mrs Okechukwu Elezieanya
We Survived Project Director - Roslyn Okon
PAGE 15
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 15
12/03/2021 08:13
VOL 1 NO.5 • MARCH 14 – MARCH 20, 2021
SOROSOKE DOWNTOWN BY KEHINDE FAGBULE
MORY COCO
The journey from pregnancy to motherhood is a tasking one that women experience differently. This week’s SoroSókè Downtown features the extremely likeable Mariam Bakre, also known as Mory Coco. A content creator, YouTuber, show anchor, a woman of faith and recent mum; she takes us through her evolution from internet sensation with hundreds of thousands of followers to a brand new mom with a baby girl.
T
ell us a bit about what growing up was like for you. Growing up was mostly hopeful for me. I grew up in Surulere, Lagos. On days that I could, I spent a lot of time watching The KKB Show and Fuji House of Commotion wondering and hoping to be a part of those shows. I wanted to be a child star so badly. I would watch these shows, and when no one was looking, I would act out the things I saw. I had a music book as well *laughs* I still have it! I would compose songs and write with the hope that I’ll be the first female of MAVIN then MOHITS (that was before Tiwa came into the picture of course). I was such a big dreamer! Even though nobody knew about it because I kept to myself a lot but as a child, I spent a lot of time dreaming of becoming a gigantic star. What piqued your interest in content creation? Like I said I wanted to be a child star so bad. I just needed a platform, someone to believe in me, someone to take a chance on me, anyone! When social media became a viral thing, I had already given up on music, by the way, *laughs* I was almost burying my zeal to become a creator, I still acted though; when no one was looking. My husband, then-boyfriend, would say things like “Babe you’ve got such a star potential,” or “I swear babe you have the tendency to blow you just have to tap into the potential,” or he would say things like “Babe you’re sleeping on yourself, I swear” *laughs* after a year of telling me how much of a star material I am, I finally decided to remove my IG from private and took the bold step of creating content. I started with original motivational quotes, modest fashion, then comical contents, now I do a blend of all three. What inspires your hilarious content ideas? To be honest, the ideas just come, sometimes it’s my
environment but most times, the ideas just come to me while randomly sitting or laying down or bathing. What was your time at Kraks TV as a presenter like? I wasn’t only a presenter, I was a content creator/writer, social media manager, and at some point also Admin. At the time I was at Kraks, it was a start-up, we were trying to put a system in place, so I had the opportunity to work in different departments of the company. It’s an experience I’m always going to be grateful for. So tell us how you met your husband Femi. Did it start as an office romance? We were friends way before I started working for Kraks *laughs* it didn’t start as an office romance. We met through my cousin. They did their orientation camp together. Your brother-in-law is Tobi of Big Brother Naija. What’s that relationship like? That’s the big brother I never had! He’s such a supportive and kind soul! What’s your idea of mummy-daughter time? We have a lot of mummy-daughter time, but my favourite bonding time is shower/bath time, the water splashing, how cute she looks with soap bubbles wrapped around her head always melts my heart! It’s your first mother’s day, does it feel different from any other day to you? Definitely does! My life has taken a turn for good! After Faizah, I feel like a mum, I’m a mum! Although sometimes in my head I still feel like a child kind of *laughs* My dad always says my baby now has a baby *laughs* Tell us about your pregnancy. What were some of the surprises you faced but weren’t prepared for? With pregnancy, I was prepared for almost everything, it’s with the postpartum recovery that I got the shock of my life. From breastfeeding to psychological healing etc. You have flawless skin. What’s your skincare routine? I think genes play a huge role to be honest because the amount of sun I’ve entered in my life is something else. But yeah now, I just maintain it with my sunscreen, a good moisturizer, toner, serum and exfoliation. Do you see yourself branching out into the movie industry someday? I say that because there’s a new trend of starring social media skit makers/content creators in movies and you’re just as hilarious if not more. Have you ever been offered a movie role? I definitely would be branching out into movies by God’s grace. I got two movie role offers from two of my favourite movie directors. The first one I was 6 months pregnant and swollen *laughs* so I couldn’t take it, the second one, I had just recently had a baby so I couldn’t take it, but, if anything it makes me more hopeful to work harder. What is Faizah’s [Mory’s daughter] favourite toy? She doesn’t have a favourite toy per se. She has a favourite storybook though even though she gets distracted before we are halfway through, and she enjoys watching and listening to nursery rhymes.
What were her first words? Did you get it on camera? She said “Mama” *laughs*, we were too busy jumping and screaming that it didn’t occur to us to record it. What was a pregnancy experience that you expected to be difficult but found easy and vice versa? To be honest, I thought I would have cravings because I had heard so much about it, but I didn’t particularly have any cravings. Who is going to be the stricter parent? It’s hard to tell yet, we’re both reasonable parents, so if the child can make an intelligent case, then they win *laughs* Were you spanked as a kid? Is that a parenting style you feel is necessary? My grandma’s abara (back slap) still rings loud in my brain and no I don’t think it’s necessary. Can you tell us your most hilarious experience during pregnancy? Well, it wasn’t funny then, but we can laugh about it now. I had sent my husband to buy me ice cream, on his way back he branched at the carpenters, so my ice cream melted a bit and was not the consistency I wanted and that was how I started crying. He felt so helpless *laughs*.
PAGE 16
THEWILL dt_restyle Mar 14.indd 16
12/03/2021 08:13