Winter2011

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WOMEN of the WORD

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Forging Ahead in 2011 How Humble are you REALLY?

Winter Hair Care with Banging Style

Put Glitz & Glamour in Your Wardrobe Faith & Fitness with

Donna Richardson Joyner

How to know if a man REALLY likes you? -pg. 44 WINTER 2011 | WOW!

Winter 2011

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contents

“Some of us pray and don’t fight, and some of us fight and don’t pray. We have to do both simultaneously, because it also says in the Bible, faith without work is dead, so you have to put your faith to work or God can’t bless what you don’t do, I don’t care how much you pray about it.. ” -Donna Richardson Joyner

INSPIRE

Profile of the Month.......................................8 Kingdom Quality Tidbits...............................10 Christina Dixon.............................................11 Filoiann Weidenhoff....................................49

ENCOURAGE

Jo Ann Fore..................................................22 Latonja Flowers............................................26 Regina Wells.................................................40 Open Heart...................................................42

EMPOWER

Moving Up Higher with Joyce Meyer...........15 Pebbles from Pastor B.J..............................29 Marlena Daniel............................................32

FEATURES

WOWderful Woman: Donna Richardson Joyner...........................18 Loneliness & Path to Wholeness................47

BEAUTY, HAIR, HEALTH & FASHION

Sistah Health...........................................9 Spirit Fit.................................................25 Fashion with Genean Cross..................12 Do Your Do with Chiku..........................30 WOWderfully Beautiful..........................37

FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

Keep it Steamin’ with D.V. Freeman....44

ARTISTIC PROSE & CHRISTIAN FICTION

Solomon’s Cafe.....................................34 WOW! Books..........................................43 WOWderfully Funny...............................46

MONEY & BUSINESS

Careers and Christ.................................17 Valerie Hicks Powe................................38

DON’T FORGET TO CHECK US OUT ON THE WEB: wowmagazine.org

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WOMEN of the WORD

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PUBLISHER AND EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Candie A. Price MUSIC EDITOR George Ward FASHION & STYLE EDITOR Genean Cross BOOK EDITOR Monica Hart Graphics & Art Candie A. Price Field Correspondent Denna D’Mitri

CONTRIBUTING EDITORS AND WRITERS Barbara Arnold

Kymber Ree’ne Irvin

Mary Betner McLoughlin

Joyce Meyer

Genean Cross

Gil Michel

Marlena Daniel

Sandi Morais

Tamara D. Davis

Stacey L. Owens

Denna D’Mitri

Valerie Hicks Powe

Christina Dixon

Dr. B. J. Relefourd

Aleathea Dupree

Ginger Smith

Darrell V. Freeman

George Ward

Latonja Flowers

Michael Waters

Jo Ann Fore

Regina Wells

Chiku’ Griffin

Tex West

Stephanie C. Harper

Filoiann Wiedenhoff

Monica Hart

Deaquelynn Williams

WOW! Women of the Word Magazine,™ Inspire, Encourage, and Empower™ WOWderful Woman™ and FLRT™ are trademarks of The Candie Jar, LLC™ All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without express written permission is prohibited.

W O W ’ d

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H I M ™

A MESSAGE FROM THE PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF CANDIE A. PRICE

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Happy New Year!!!

am so excited about the new year! I don’t know about you but I’ve been through some things in 2010 that tried to take me out! But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord!!! Will we have challenges in 2011? Of course! Will we have more of those “trying to take me down” moments? Absolutely! But a new year also allows us to restructure, refocus and re-energive ourselves to continue to live out our God-given purpose! I’m excited about my future in Christ and I’m excited about where the Lord will also take you as well! He’s doing mighty things in the lives of his people, despite the negativity that is displayed in the media! Every day Christians are doing amazing things for the Kingdom of God and HE gets all the glory! Great things He continues to do!

In this quarter, we are blessed to feature Donna Richardson Joyner as she continues to inspire the masses to get fit and healthy! So if that’s at the top of your New Year’s Resolution, you must read her encouraging words and get her new workout, Body Gospel (pg. 18). I’ve started it myself and I’ll keep you posted on my progress!

If that doesn’t encourage you to get moving, you’ve got to read Contributor Sandi Morais’ interview with Eva Jaroshevich, who is definitely fabulous and fit at 90 years old!!!! (pg.

9).

Whether you’ve decided to

Whether you’ve demake a resolution or not, or cided to make a Resolution or not, or you’ve already bro- you’ve already broken a few, I ken a few, I pray that this year you would prosper in health, pray that this year you would mind, and spirit and that you would continue to live out God’s unique purpose and plan for your life! Above all prosper in health, mind, and else, it’s all about HIM! spirit and that you would Until next quarter, be blessed, my sisters (and my brothcontinue to live out God’s ers!), and Enjoy,

“

Stay Connected!

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

-Candie

unique purpose and plan for your life! Above all else, it’s all about HIM!”

contributors MARLENA DANIEL Contributor and Life Coach Marlena Daneil debuts her first WOW! article on leadership (p. 42).

MONICA HART WOW! Magazine’s new Book Editor shares her vision for her column and her very first review. (p.

18).

CHIKU’ GRIFFIN

Contributor Chiku Griffin shares important tips on keeping your hair beautiful and healthy through the winter months. (p. 10).

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Pro f i l e o f t h e M o n t h

Ciera Bailey Residence: Victorville, California

WOW!: We’re so grateful to honor you in WOW! this month! Tell us about yourself.

Are you married or single? Name of husband or fiancée?

something that you’ve done that lines up with the mission to Inspire, Encourage and Empower others.

WOW!: Do you have children? If so, what are their names and ages?

CB: I was once in a club called the SPARK of hope which is a club for youth whose parents were or are currently in prison and they share their feelings and are strengthened through the Word of God

CB:I have no children but a little puppy I call my son name Armani.

WOW!: What would you say is your greatest challenge in your Christian walk?

WOW!: Briefly describe how you came to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and how long you’ve been saved.

CB:I would have to say trying to overcome obstacles that I get myself into whether with school or life period as a young adult.

I’ve learned that I had to make a change by putting my trust in GOD.

CB: My fiancée ‘s name is Darnell

CB: I came to know Jesus when I was down and out living with the wrong people and the hurt and pain they caused but I prayed every single night to make things better and he did.

WOW!: WOW! is about inspiring, encouraging and empowering other Christian women. Briefly tell us about any activities that you are involved in or

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CB: Palms 23 this is my favorite because when I was having trouble at work and school my hero which is my mother told me to read this every day and I did and it gave me strength to get through those problems.

WOW!: Out of all of the biblical characters in scripture, who would you say closely mirrors your life and why?

CB: Barnabas because I spend my life and time trying to mend everyone’s problems and making them feel good about themselves.

WOW!: How do you handle that challenge?

CB: I take it a step at a time. day by day reminding myself that God won’t let me down.

WOW!: Do you have a favorite scripture or a life scripture that seems to pull you out of anything? What is it and why?

If you would like to be considered for Profile of the Month, please send us an email at info@wowmagazine.org,

WOW! |WINTER 2011

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BY SANDI MORAIS had the opportunity to interview ninety year-old Eva Jaroshevich in her lovely home in Orlando where she resides with her beautiful daughter Ksenia and her wonderful son-in-law Bill Murk. It was such an honor to sit with Eva and talk about her healthy lifestyle. While interviewing Eva, I could not believe her age.

She was so energetic and vibrant. She was able to bend down and touch her toes, and kick her legs up just like any thirty year-old New York City Rockette.

Eva’s introduction to exercise began at the age of twenty-three when she enlisted into the United States Army because she wanted to serve her country. While she was in the army she participated in various physical training exercises, such as marching and strength training. After her training session, Eva always felt invigorated. That euphoric feeling after exercising never left Eva, so she made exercise and healthy eating habits a way of life. Today, she is reaping all the benefits from her healthy lifestyle. Eva is still fit and fabulous at ninety. She is energetic, mentally alert, has great flexibility, good posture, strong muscles, and has maintained a normal body weight. In her golden years she still continues to exercise and enjoy good health. She goes to her senior citizens workout class at the gym three days per week. She loves to read, paint, play crossword puzzles and work in her garden. Eva loves the outdoors because she gets a chance to connect with nature. She is thankful every day when she wakes up and gets a chance to still experience the beauty of what God has created.

Even though she is ninety, Eva’s actions and zest for life are like someone fifty years younger. On October 10th, 2010 I had the pleasure of attending the Bob Dylan concert with Eva and her family at the University of Central Florida. At the end of the two-hour concert she was still full of fire and energy.

Ninety-six year old fitness guru Jack LaLanne coined the phrase “Exercise is king, nutrition is queen, put them together and you’ve got a kingdom. Eva is truly enjoying being the queen of her kingdom. She is an inspiration to all of us. I pray that her story will inspire you to choose a healthy lifestyle for the New Year.

In closing my interview I asked Eva what is her secret to longevity, she smiled and said, “Keep moving, and give God thanks everyday for the opportunity to live on this planet.” ©2011 Sandi Morais, smorais1@bellsouth.net www.sandimorais.net WINTER 2011 | WOW!

Sistah Health

Fit

&

Fabulous at 90 9

Kingdom Quality Tidbits

BY TAMARA D. DAVIS My Beloved, Today seems like the end of your world. The pain is unbearable. You don’t have to admit it or say anything.

I can tell by the look on your face and the slowness in your movement that you want to give up and quit. I know the hurt you’re feeling has sucked the air right out of your lungs and your heart has been broken into many pieces. This situation has caused you to stand with your toes right on the edge, waiting for the slightest wind to come and send you over. Sweetheart, I’m here to keep you from going over.

Before you were born, before you were in your mother’s womb, I knew you. I created you and I gave you a purpose. I knew this day, this very moment, would come.

I know how broken you feel right now. Go ahead and cry. It’s okay. Let the cleansing tears flow. It’s time. It’s time to stop running and face this head on. You haven’t talked about the pain because it’s so deep. I’ve watched you time and time again, disguising the pain with food, material things, masks, and men. You no longer have to hide anymore. You no longer have to live this way.

Today is the day you let me in. Today is the day I make you whole.

For a long time, I’ve been waiting for you to come home. I’ve been here because I am forever faithful. I never left. My words are never empty and I keep my promises. I want to show you who I am and help you discover who you are. I want to bring you into your purpose. I am here to heal every scar, every wound and every hurt. You no longer have to protect yourself because I’ll do that for you. My arms are wide open. So please, come and let me show you my insurmountable peace.

I love you. My love for you is incomprehensible. In me, you will find hope. In me, you will find strength. In me, you will find love. I will take on all of your cares, concerns and problems but only if you let me. I’ll have patience when you make mistakes. In me you will find freedom. You won’t have to hide. There won’t be any more shame and no more sorrow. My beloved, I will give you rest.

With Eternal Love, Your Heavenly Father ©2011 KQ Tidbits Tamara D. Davis is a single parent living in Florida. Through her writing she believes in encouraging Christians to strive to live better lives than they did the day before.

Contact Tamara at tamaradavis@wowmagazine.org.

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A Love Letter To The Brokenhearted

WOW! |WINTER 2011

Christina Dixon

Conquering New Heights

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er words captured my imagination. She couldn’t be more than 5’4” and I’d guess no more than 110 pounds soaking wet. Her name is Susan Ershler. As she talked about how she accomplished her personal goal of climbing all seven of the highest summits in the world with her husband, my sense of adventure was stirred. Can you imagine the sense of victory she must have felt, as she looked out at the vista view from the highest place on the planet? As the fourth American woman to climb the seven highest mountains, she had to conquer the physical, environmental and emotional challenges. What an accomplishment!

It’s January and as usual, I have seven summits of my own I want to conquer. I am determined to CONQUER New Heights in my personal life this year. As I share my strategy for 2011, think about what yours will be.

C – Change from knowing more scripture, to living out more consistently the scriptures I know. Maybe this way, when I interact with someone that doesn’t know the bible, they’ll get a chance to see it in action. (II Corinthians 2:2-3) O – Own my own vessel. Too much focus on negative experiences and current events can cause overwhelming stress. At times like these I’ll need to remember that God is in control and to possess my soul in the patience His Spirit causes to flow through me as I rest in Him. (Luke 21:19) N – Never stop praying. I’m clear on the WINTER 2011 | WOW!

fact that no matter how much I know, God knows more. There is never a time I won’t need His counsel. (I Thessalonians 5:17) Q – Quiet my spirit. I used to believe that I should never talk about the things that bother me. Now I understand that when I take authority over my disquieted spirit, I am acquiring a quality that God considers priceless. (I Peter 3:4) U – Upgrade my gifts and talents. I already know that if I don’t use them, there will be weeping and gnashing. But, I also need to be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading when He wants to use my gifts in new and different ways. (Matthew 25:14-28) E – Eliminate regularly. Just as my body eliminates toxins regularly (i.e. carbon dioxide from my lungs, waste from my kidneys and bowels), I need to rid myself of the things that make my walk with Christ toxic. (Colossians 3:8-10) R – Reflect His glory as I redeem the time. I can’t allow myself to forget that like the star that led the three wise men to the Christ child, I’m a star on a mission. God has placed His light in me to lead others to Him. (II Corinthians 3:18) As I walk into this New Year filled with opportunities I am reminded of Isaiah 43:18-19 where the Lord had Isaiah to prophesy that He was going to do a new thing. New means new! New speaks of that which is unfamiliar, unused, unprecedented and original. Consequently, I can expect that some of the things I will face this year will be both adventurous and risky.

As Susan Ershler talked about her climb

up Mount Everest, she spoke of how they couldn’t simply go from the bottom of the mountain straight to the top. For one thing, the weather could change quickly. More than one climber has had to turn around and head back to camp with the summit only minutes away. For another thing, the air at the mountain’s peak was so thin, that they had to make the journey by going up to a designated camp and then back down the mountain for days at a time to give their lungs a chance to become accustomed to the difference in the amount of oxygen at that height. When I heard it, my perspective of how to view three steps forward, two steps back was forever changed. Instead of seeing my efforts as being hindered, I’ll consider that I’ve reached a higher elevation that requires an adjustment in my lung capacity.

What about you? What are the seven summits in your life that you want to conquer this year? In 2010 did you feel like you were going three steps forward, two steps back? If so, don’t worry, you were just getting your lungs ready to handle the change that’s coming. Sure, there may be storms brewing. Yes, the air is thin up there. But look up. The mountain top isn’t that far away. Stay focused on your goals. Before you know it you’ll be a testament to all those who long to start the journey. May the Lord guide you on your journey as you conquer new heights. ©2011 Christina Dixon. ,info@christinadixon.net or www.christinadixon.net.

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Fa s h i o n & S t y l e w i t h G e n e a n C r o s s

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WOW! |WINTER 2011

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Fashion questions? Contact Genean at geneancross@wowmagazine.org. Don’t forget to email Genean with article ideas, Q & A and pictures of you and your Star Style. And check out her log www.gstylze.blogspot.com You’ll find more fashion and beauty tips, trends and even freebies plus giveaways. And check out my blog www.gstylze.blogspot.com You’ll find more fashion and beauty tips, trends and even freebies plus giveaways

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WOW! |WINTER 2011

Moving Up Higher with Joyce Meyer

How Humble are you REALLY? WINTER 2011| 2011 |WOW! WOW!

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P

eople who have pride don’t usually think they have it.

It’s a weakness we’d rather not own up to, but if we’re honest, it’s something we have to continually address.

Try to remember the last time you had a critical thought about someone. Was it during rush-hour traffic or in a meeting at work? Has someone been getting on your nerves lately?

We all like to complain about what someone else is or isn’t doing. We like to think we’d do their job better or handle situations differently. Some little thing catches our attention and if we don’t correct ourselves quickly enough, our negativity keeps growing and growing.

Critical thoughts about other people always get us into trouble with God. One of the strongest chastisements I ever had from God came from judging another preacher’s teaching gift. I made some haughty, high-minded comment about them and the next time I got up to preach, I felt like I had lost my anointing.

God showed me that when I judged this man’s preaching—the gift God gave him—I was actually criticizing Him! Pride causes us to overestimate ourselves and underestimate others—and it always has a distorted view of the truth. We need to learn how to stay balanced and in humble submission to God. Today I want to share with you some characteristics of humility that will help you stay in balance and lead you to tremendous blessings in every area of your life.

you want them to be, they’ll have a really hard time figuring out who God made them to be.

2. Humble people give credit where credit is due. Be quick to give God glory for everything you accomplish—and don’t forget to acknowledge the people He sends to help you.

3. The humble are quick to forgive and difficult to offend. No matter how you’ve been wronged, you can be secure in knowing God will work everything out for your good (see Romans 8:28).

4. The humble person is patient and longsuffering. Remember to be patient with

feelings, don’t wait days, weeks or years to apologize. Humble yourself and say you’re sorry. It will always make you feel better, and your heart will be at peace with God. 9. The humble person admits their weaknesses. Recognize your weaknesses and learn from them. It’s always better to humble yourself than to wait for God to humble you. And don’t try to cover up your weaknesses and mistakes. Odds are people already know what they are—and if you’re open about them, it will help other people relate better to you.

10. The humble receive correction from God. No matter how spiritually mature we think we are, there is always room for improvement. The Bible says a humble person thanks God for correction and gives Him credit for doing the work as well (see 1 Corinthians 15:10).

The posture we take in life is so important. A humble attitude can make a bad situation good. And a prideful attitude can make a good situation bad.

It’s up to us to choose wisely.

““The posture we take in life is so important. A humble attitude can make a bad situation good. And a prideful attitude can make a good situation bad.” It’s up to us to choose wisely.”

10 Characteristics of Humility

1. Humble people ask for help. Do you tend to do everything yourself because you want it done your way? Try giving up some control by including others in your plans, and let them carry out the plans in their own creative way.

Parents, this is important: Don’t make your kids try to fulfill your dreams for their life. If they’re trying too hard to be what

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others, knowing it’s only by God’s grace that you are able to do anything yourself (see 1 Corinthians 15:10).

5. The humble are peace lovers. Go the extra mile to keep peace in your relationships.

Resist the need to be “right” all the time or to always have the last word.

6. Humble people live to serve. Be eager to give to others what you receive from God. Do good on purpose, even if it seems unpleasant or inconvenient. And the higher you’re promoted, be that much more determined to serve.

7. A humble person is thankful. We can get so accustomed to God’s blessings that we forget to thank Him. Don’t take God for granted. And don’t take other people for granted, either. Show them you appreciate their time and dedication.

8. The humble person has a tender conscience. If you think you hurt somebody’s

For more on this topic, order Joyce’s six-CD series Attitudes of the Mind. You can also contact us to receive our free magazine, Enjoying Everyday Life, by calling (800) 727-Joyce Meyer is a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Joyce Meyer Ministries, Inc. She has authored more than 80 books, including Battlefield of the Mind and Power Thoughts (Hachette). She hosts the Enjoying Everyday Life radio and TV programs, which air on hundreds of stations worldwide. For more information, visit www.joycemeyer.org. Please note: The views and opinions expressed throughout this publication and/or website are those of the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect those of Joyce Meyer Ministries.

WOW! |WINTER 2011

Careers and Christ

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Do You

QUALIFY? WINTER 2011 | WOW!

BY STEPHANIE C. HARPER any job seekers ask, “are you hiring?” or “do you have any jobs?” Before the question can be answered a few things must first be determined. What type of position are you seeking and do you have a résumé? Nine times out of ten, it is a waste of time to call an employer without having a written résumé. Usually an employer simply does not have time to talk with you on the spot and they need time to assess your qualifications. The best way to perform this task is with a résumé. If Jesus had to write a résumé today how might some of His bullet points read?

•Reported directly to GOD, but served those lower than me.

•Established, strengthened, settled and perfected those who suffered.

•Consistently performed miracles, signs and wonders.

•Nationally recognized as the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

•Improved the lives of those touched by +100% in a 3-year period.

If one were looking to hire someone who could do anything but fail, Jesus would certainly have the job. In order to qualify Himself for the position, Jesus left His résumé in the form of the Bible. His résumé shows accomplishments, tasks successfully completed and most importantly a record of how it was done. After reading of His deeds, there is no doubt that Jesus can come in and do just what you need Him to do. This is the same way an employer should feel when determining if you are the right candidate for a position.

Before sending out another résumé, consider the following: Does your résumé have great words, but lacks power? Does your résumé make the reader want to tell others about your accomplishments? Does your résumé qualify you for the job at hand? Have you done anything significant?

Does the employer need you to get to the next level? Does your résumé make an interviewer want to say to others “Have You Read This Résumé?”

Stephanie C. Harper, PHR, CCP, CHRM is certified human resources professional, author, career expert , and Publisher of CAREER Magazine www.thecareermag.com

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WOWderful Woman

Faith and Fitness with

Donna Richardson Joyner 18

WOW! |WINTER 2011

F Gospel.

or over 25 years Donna Richardson Joyner has been inspiring men and women across the country to get “faithfully fit, and fabulous!” She’s not just the wife of nationally syndicated radio talk show host Tom Joyner, she is an advocate for healthy living, a woman of extreme faith, and a philanthropist in her own right. Donna epitomizes the WOWderful Woman and shares with us her new revolutionary workout, Body

BY CANDIE A. PRICE CAP: I’m so pleased that you are able to talk to us about your powerful ministry and we’re appreciative of the time that you’re sparing for us. Many people know you as Tom Joyner’s wife, but of course you have an identity all your own, and many accomplishments and we’d just like to know a little bit about your background. Where were you raised and what was your upbringing like?

DRJ: Well I was born in Washington, D.C., grew up in Silver Springs, MD, and I had a very blessed and beautiful childhood. And I came here (to Dallas), got married, about ten years ago and I’ve been here for the last 11 years now.

CAP: Do you have any siblings?

DRJ: Yes, I have a brother, he lives in California. He is 5 years older than I am.

different than all the other things that we’re seeing today?

DRJ: Well, you know, just like you said, we know that people have tried different programs and different gadgets, and different diets, and a lot of them have not been successful. They fall off the wagon, and then they start back again. And so, I think, that people are looking for a program that has more substance, more purpose. And I think when you look at this particular program, you have a foundation, God is the foundation so it’s using your faith as your foundation and when you use your faith as your foundation, it doesn’t get any more solid than that. And that’s unmovable, unshakeable, unstoppable.

And so, working with people and changing their minds that if you trust in God with everything in your lives, why aren’t you trusting in God with your health? And you can’t glorify Him with bad health. You know, I go out and I’m speaking every weekend almost at churches, community centers, schools and corporations and I see people who have dominion over their spiritual health and even financial health, but may neglect their physical health. So, this program really is about wholeness in health, it’s about integrating the mind, body and spirit. It’s all integrated so it’s important for us to work on making sure each of those areas are growing and evolving.

That’s really what makes this program so different, it’s because it is spiritually based and you know, we’ll waver on a lot of things in our lives but we don’t waver in our faith.

So, I tell people in terms of your health, you can’t compromise. And it’s not up for negotiation. You only got one body, and it’s the temple of the Holy Spirit, and you can’t turn your body in for a new model. You know, you can’t get an upgrade on it! It’s up to you to change your mindset and too many are trashing their temple instead of treasuring their temple. So, we have to get people to first change their mindset about

“...this is a new day, new opportunity, a new blessing and it’s up to you to challenge your energy and move forward or you’re going to stay right where you are.”

CAP: Everyone knows you’re a fitness guru, and we were introduced to you through your Sweating in The Spirit videos, which I’ve tried also, and we can also definitely see your imprint on Tom, cause he’s lost a lot of weight, lol. How did you get involved with fitness? Why is it so passionate to you?

DRJ: Well, I grew up, participating in sports and dance. So, I was active all of my childhood, so I think it was a natural transition, going into fitness and health. And at that time, that’s when the big aerobics boom happened, with Jane Fonda, and Dr. Kenneth Cooper, so it was, for me, a great opportunity and then I got to travel around the world, helping people get healthier. And you know, I’ve been in this business for the last 25 years now and I’ve traveled to over 40 countries. I remember during those travels, you know, I was working with everyone, from the poor to the rich, the overweight to the undernourished to the willing and a lot of reluctant, (laughing) but, my greatest challenge was not overseas. Every time I would come home from a trip, my greatest WINTER 2011 | WOW!

challenge was at home. It was my family, it was my church, it was my community, I just got sick and tired of seeing so many loved ones suffer and die from so many illnesses like obesity, diabetes, heart disease, I mean, you name it. And so, I decided to take action.

That’s when I developed Sweating in the Spirit workout, which was the first ever spiritual workout, with a combination of exercise and entertainment; as we know it is worship and workout and we had the blessing of having gospel artists to sing as I did the workout. You know, we had Yolanda Adams, Kirk Franklin, Shirley Murdock

-they were on the first Sweating in the Spirit video. The second one had Martha Munizzi, Yolanda Adams, and Byron Cage, so it was really the first of its kind, and you know before, no workouts had live entertainers or original music, so that was pretty trailblazing at that time. Then I realized that not only products, there needed to be programming, and I developed Sweating in the Spirit programs that went out to churches around the country, so Sweating in the Spirit was my start, and then it evolved into Body Gospel.

I’ve gone from Buns of Steel to Blessed Buns.

CAP: Well, I have to tell you, there’s so many fitness programs out there today. We seem to be bombarded with things. Every single day, there’s a new gadget vying for our attention. Tell us about this new initiative with Body Gospel and why is it so

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how they take care of themselves, and that does require change. And, you know I’m speaking to people I have to tell them, you have to want to change more than you want to stay the same. Cause if you want something different, you gotta do something different.

So many people are stuck in their past.

When I say that I hear every excuse in the book, I hear about what they haven’t done, and about all of the different illnesses and problems they may have, so most of their energy and time is focused on something they can’t change cause that’s in their past, so I have to now redirect that energy and focus what do you have right now? Can’t change your past health, but, we can change your future health.

So how do we at this point, at this moment, take steps to move forward? And after taking those steps, I have to get them in that right frame of mind and say ok, with every step I’m taking, I’m building on my blessing. The Bible it says He’s never gonna leave you or forsake you... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

So we have to really go back to our spiritual roots and use that faith as our foundation. And we have to have a whole different

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mindset on how we take care of ourselves.

Some of us pray and don’t fight, and some of us fight and don’t pray. We have to do both simultaneously, because it also says in the Bible, faith without work is dead, so you have to put your faith to work or God can’t bless what you don’t do, I don’t care how much you pray about it. So, you know the other part is teaching people to just say hey, you have this, you know you have the power; you have the ability to make these changes to make the decision and do it, and take this moment to do it, we’re not gonna worry about what happens, and I try to just get them to wake up each morning and just be thankful that you’re alive, first of all, and then say to yourself, hey this is a new day, new opportunity, a new blessing and it’s up to you to challenge your energy and move forward or you’re going to stay right where you are. Unfortunately, you have a lot of people that if you don’t move forward you’re taking steps back and you’re never going to be able to change or have good health, healing, happiness if you’re always looking backwards. Life is moving forward!

Like with anything else in life, if it’s worth it, you have to sacrifice for it! So the goal is to move forward!

CAP: I agree with you that we can do so much more for Christ when we are healthy and disease free and we are at that time of year when people will have at the top of their New Year’s Resolution to get healthy and lose weight and what would you say is the most simple advice or practical tip that you can give someone who really is determined to make fitness a lifestyle and not just a quick fix?

DRJ: I think first of all that they have to make a decision – you can’t help someone unless they first help themselves. So they have to make a decision and say to themselves ‘I’m not going to stay in the same spot, or in the same situation, I gotta move forward.’ Then once they have made that decision, then it’s about having a plan, even though God orders our steps, so when you have that plan you can move forward and say, just like when you have your daily devotion, ‘what do I need to do every day, in terms of moving my body? In order for my body to stay healthy I have to incorporate some type of physical activity.’ So just like WOW! |WINTER 2011

you schedule everything else in your life, schedule in an activity on a daily basis. Just like you schedule in other things in your life like picking up the dry cleaning, picking up the kids, making dinner...what are the changes I need to make so that I can eat healthier and take in more nutrients and not foods that are going to rob my body of energy – have a new eating plan.

That’s why we are ever so grateful to have this project because Body Gospel is very comprehensive – it involves nutrition, recipes, physical activity, a schedule that you can follow along. It also has a transformation journal which I think is so beautiful because it allows you to journal your goals spiritually and physically and it has scripture because a lot of times if you are not feeling good that day or are about to make that excuse, you can read that scripture which will help you or go into prayer which will help you. So, I think having all those components in there is setting people up for success. This is about a healthy, life long journey this is not about something that is going to happen in 30 or 60 days because you didn’t get there in 30 or 60 days. So its really about having people have a healthy lifestyle. I always tell people it starts with your faith so you have to be faithful, be fruitful (you gotta be productive and do the work) and then be a fighter, fight with your faith and fight to win it! Be relentless and have tenacity and you also have to ask God to give you the grace to make those changes and reach those goals.

CAP: Tell us about your appointment to the President’s Council on Fitness and what exactly does that mean?

DRJ: I am ecstatic. I served two years under President Bush and was the only person reappointed to this new administration so that was a lot of favor, but favor ‘aint fair (laughs). When you look at this country and the diabetes issues, obesity issues, you have a first lady that has stepped up to the plate and created a Let’s Move campaign to get our kids healthy. It’s a shame that the childhood obesity rate is so alarming right now and that this generation may not outlive their parents so she is sounding the alarm, giving us that wake up call, she is out there making a difference and getting us to be accountable and take on responsibility so I work with her on that campaign.

Also as a council member it is up to us to get America moving and one of the ways we can get them moving is to just get them WINTER 2011 | WOW!

started. Sign up for the President’s Active Lifestyle Challenge which is for six consecutive weeks, adults 18 or over to do 30 minutes of activity five days a week, under 18 it’s 60 minutes five days a week, and at the end of those six weeks you get a certificate from President Obama acknowledging your accomplishment. It takes 21 days for a new habit so this is one of those things that you can get started with right away – you go online and you register and every day you log in your activity. That’s one of our goals and then we speak at a few large conferences and we are part of establishing new programs, we have family fitness through schools around the country and other programs that gets the entire family involved.

CAP: I’m going to switch gears just a little bit. I know that you’re a woman of faith, can you share with us your testimony about how you came to the Lord?

DRJ: Well I grew up in the church, my parents and all of my family; that was a part of how you built upon your relationship with God so as a child that was a part of my growing up. I ushered for a little while, but didn’t sing in the choir (laughing) I could move and act, but no-no for singing – I could lip sing (laughing). (My faith) It has always been a part of me and it wasn’t until years ago when I created Sweating in the Spirit that I realized that God was giving me a greater assignment and it was great. I was doing all these other programs but when you are out there and you realize that people have given up hope, that people were struggling and suffering, I understood that there had to be a program created for them that definitely was going to give them hope, that definitely was going to shield them and definitely have a blueprint or a strong foundation for them to live a healthier lifestyle - so I think it was just me hearing the stories and listening and I knew that I could make a difference.

It’s not just about transforming their bodies but transforming their lives! I’m happy out there doing the work and I understand my role in serving people and I’m happy to see how this program has evolved and it is blessing people!

CAP: Is there a particular scripture that ministers to you most in your ministry?

DRJ: I love the scripture I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me, that has to be one because it doesn’t matter if its

health, your spiritual health, your finances, your mental health: I can do ALL things through Christ – that, to me, is probably my favorite.

CAP: What’s next for Donna? What haven’t you done that you still desire to do?

DRJ: Oh my God! You have time to hear that? (laughing) I will say this – I just celebrated my 48th birthday and I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me and my husband threw me a party and I said to my family and friends that on my 49th birthday on my wish list I am going to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro so in March I am going to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and a couple of my friends are going to climb with me. Also every time I do projects its always about helping people first so even though this is on my list wish, I’m getting sponsorship to provide water to some of the villages in Tanzania because they are still struggling and I want to be able to help my African sisters and brothers. I do go over to South Africa every year because I teach at Oprah’s school and that is one way of helping and now I have the opportunity to provide fresh water for them and this is a part of a legacy that what I’m building far behind when I’m gone, so I’m in the midst of that. I will also be doing a half marathon in January and this year I’m going to be blessing some of my Body Gospel soldiers – people that are on the program and need a little push or hit a plateau – I am flying them in, getting them a hotel, and they are doing the marathon with me – I think that there are 5 of them, that I’m blessing. So we are going to have a Body Gospel team and I’m going to help them get to their next level and reach their next goal. So in the next two years I will be 50 and I’m asking my family and friends to continue to support me because in two years I will be celebrating 50 years, I would have visited 50 states, 50 countries, 50 ways of giving back and then I would have crocheted 50 afghans for loved ones and for breast cancer survivors!

CAP: Donna, when do you have time to breathe!! (laughing) DRJ: Oh, I’m non-stop, I’m like that little energizer bunny rabbit, I just keep going (laughing) because that’s what life is about – you have to keep moving! Part of it is too, Continued on Page 48

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J o A n n Fo r e

Diane Cunningham, Founder/President, National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs

From Lawsuit to Life Coach:

“

Lessons from an Entrepreneurial Journey

I used to be afraid of the word entrepreneur,” Diane Cunningham, Founder and President of the National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs, said.

“One, it was difficult to pronounce. Two, I wasn’t sure I could spell it correctly. And three, it really described those Wall-Street guys who ran around in their finely-tailored Italian suits—didn’t it?”

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In November, President Obama set aside November 19 as National Entrepreneur’s Day, celebrating current and wouldbe entrepreneurs. Small businesses are a hearty slice of today’s economic culture with women entrepreneurs claiming a large serving. And a growing amount of Christian women are creating successful, sustainable businesses.

However, fine-tuning entrepreneur-

ship was an emotionally-expensive lesson for Diane. ““I’ve accepted the word now,” Diane said. “It fits me—more of a way of thinking, a willingness to take risks, to tap into that creative piece of myself.”

In 1999, 26-year-old Diane worked fulltime at a hospital in the counseling department but also managed a private practice where she serviced a few clients after hours.

One of these clients was depressed, and WOW! |WINTER 2011

while under Diane’s counsel he took his own life.

The shock, anger, and sadness coursed through Diane. “How do you manage something like this? Why did this happen?

Did I miss something? And worse—was it somehow my fault?”

While Diane was initially cleared of any blame, having proved she performed everything according to established plans and guidelines, she was sued one year later.

Diane remembers, “My insurance company gave her (the client’s wife) $500,000 and I thought okay, we’re done. I can move on and I can heal and I can continue with my work. About a month later, the State of Washington notified me I was being investigated—now she wanted my license revoked. In the end, my license was suspended, I had to pay a fine, I had to attend required training classes and I was named as negligent by the State of Washington.

And so this changed the course of my life.

It’s changed the course of my finances, it’s changed the course of my marriage, it’s changed everything!”

With a husband deployed to Afghanistan, Diane succumbed to depression.”The career of my choosing—and my years of training are gone. Simply gone. Lord, I have no idea where you want me!”

Part of the agreement Diane was forced to sign with the State was that she would not engage in counseling. Required for five years to report her activities, Diane was almost paralyzed—afraid to do most anything. Afraid to even lead a Bible study for fear it might represent counseling in some way.

“I felt like I had to work without compensation—that somehow my burden to bear for this man’s death was that I had to work for no pay in order to serve my time.

I felt like I had been imprisoned for my actions or for my lack of actions. I realize now, it was a self-induced prison.”

Diane battled bleeding thoughts of insignificance, at one point even contemplating ending her own life. But the dark thoughts prompted her to reach out, to seek help. Diane slowly peeked from behind the oppressive curtains to confront the truth. “I think it (the suicide) would have happened no matter who was on watch, so to speak.”

This lone ray of sunlight fertilized Diane’s entrepreneurial roots. She discovered life coaching, which modeled her heart to help others chart their way to a purposeful and emotionally-whole life.

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

Diane shares with us the top five strategies she learned during her entrepreneurial journey from tragedy to triumph.

1. Show up— Stop hiding behind an excuse.

“I showed up every single day during that lawsuit. I still showed up every single day for work. I showed up because I knew if I stayed home, I would only feel worse.

I had an amazing mentor at the time who got me back on the horse. When one of my clients came in and said that they were feeling suicidal, I panicked. My mentor reassured me, ‘You know what to do, Diane.

You are good at it. Get back in there.’ So I did. He was right and his encouragement helped me to remember that.”

2. Speak the truth— Learn to be brave.

“We have to get honest. Often, we’re afraid of the truth. We must speak the truth about our finances, about whether we’re really making any income from our entrepreneurial journey or whether we have an expensive hobby. We need to speak the truth about the clients that we want to work with. We need to speak the truth about where our vision is taking us because sometimes we tend to as women to hold back, we tend to silence ourselves. There’s an amazing, biblical power in speaking the truth in love.”

3. Trust your gut— If it doesn’t feel right, pay attention.

“Many times throughout the lawsuit, I didn’t trust my gut. I didn’t listen to the warning signs. We grow wiser with age; our painful life experiences breeding much wisdom. We have to learn to trust our gut in our businesses as well. We need to be willing to ask for help. Trust your gut with circumstances at work if it doesn’t feel right— anything from a vendor that wants to sell you a marketing package, or a potential office space. God speaks to us constantly and half the time we don’t listen. Learn to listen. Really listen.”

wife. I’ve had ceremonies, I’ve spoken out loud, I’ve let it go—again and again if I need too. Be willing to get over things in order to move forward with God’s plans for your life. We have to get over our past, we have to learn to fail and move on and forgive ourselves. We have to learn to take ourselves off the hook.”

5. Say no— So that you can say yes.

“I should have said no to a lot of things along that lawsuit journey. I most likely should have said no to settling, settling the lawsuit. I sometimes wonder, ‘What would have happened—how would the outcome have been different if I said no?’ Learn to say no so that you can say yes to the other plans God has for. As female entrepreneurs and as Christian’s we have to protect our boundaries, we have to protect our time, we have to protect where God needs us instead of spreading ourselves everywhere, all over the place. Sometimes we can be all over the place and yet really nowhere. Learn how to say no appropriately, strongly and often.”

It’s funny how God redeems every ounce of our pain once we are willing to surrender it to Him. Today Diane Cunningham shares her lessons learned with a fiery tribe of Christian women at the National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs (http://tinyurl.com/GoToNACWE).

The National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs was born out a passion to connect women who are ready to create, collaborate, and contribute to changing the world. Entrepreneurial people and ideas are gathered together through online content, tele-courses, individual/ group coaching and retreats—uniting under a common goal of helping one another succeed and thrive in business and sharing a common faith in Jesus Christ.

Jo Ann Fore is an inspirational Author and Life Coach who has a heart for making a difference in the lives of other women—her authentic, faith-filled messages caramelized with a powerful promise of hope. Visit Jo Ann at www.JoAnnFore.com or www.facebook.com/ WriteWhereItHurts.

4. Get over it— Forgive and move on.

“I’ve had to learn this many, many times.

I have had to forgive myself. I’ve had to forgive my client; I’ve had to forgive his

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WOW! |WINTER 2011

Forging

Spirit Fit

Ahead

2010

has come and gone and what a tumultuous year it has been. Job losses at an all time high, upsets in politics, and an economy that is operating like the little train that could ( I think I can, I know I can, wait…let me try that again). Anyway you get the picture, but no matter how gloomy things may seem God is in control, always and forever. With this fact in mind, let this be the driving force to motivate you to forge ahead.

Standing on the horizon of a New Year after the wake of 2010 may have left you afraid as you face an uncertain future. The word of God reminds us that “God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love power and a sound mind.” With this in mind refocus your thoughts, the job loss last year could be this year’s opportunity for staring on the path to self employment, a new career path, going back to school or getting some much needed rest. The financial set back could be an opportunity for God to perform a “fishes and loaves” miracle or an opportunity to clear your vessels to prepare you for a blessing that you do not have room enough to receive. Remember the prophet Elijah and the widow who went from not having enough oil or meal to having an abundance of oil and meal. Your health issue could be the catalyst for ministry of just God’s way of getting your attention to spend

quality time with you.

So think about the type of job, finances and health that you want, write them down, seek God in prayer and ask Him if your desires match His plan for your life. Once you’ve prayed really listen for God’s response, this is really important because we pray often for the things of the world, obtain it and wish we had spent more time in prayer.

As we wait for God, continue to walk in obedience to His word and His commands. Stay steadfast in faith, do not walk in fear, give the first fruits of your labor no matter what your circumstances, and keep your eye on Him to receive His perfect peace.

Obedience and keeping God first and foremost in our lives this coming year will make all things possible, allow all things to work out for good, and provide us a peace that passes all human understanding.

This year place your future in God’s hands as you look to the hills from which cometh your help and forge ahead to brighter days.

“This year place your future in God’s hands as you look to the hills from which cometh your help and forge ahead to brighter days.”

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

Yvonne Bennett is a Wellness coach and personal trainer and owner of Coach Bennett Wellness Coaching Services in Buffalo Grove, IL. Yvonne has 20 years of personal training and client service experience. She is also the director for the Spirit Fit Ministry at Trinity Baptist Community Church in Crystal Lake, Il, a ministry dedicated to providing bible based fitness education and programs.

If you have questions or require more information you may contact Yvonne at yvonne@coachbennett.com

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Indie Heart

M

y favorite kind of books to read are books that tell someone’s real life story, and this is one such book. This young up and coming, Author Brittany C Ursery tells her life story from beginning to present day. In this day and age of reality television where you get to watch in on a persons life this book takes you inside her life ending with an awe inspiring hook that will cause you to desire certain FREEDOM in your own life.

BY LATONJA FLOWERS LF: - I know you have been asked this a lot but what inspired you to write your book, and why?

Brittany - Well what inspired me to write the book was God, when God brought me out of the (homosexual) life so many people noticed the change in me, and questioned what happened. So instead of me telling everybody individually God told me to write it down, and I know it had to be God because I never really read a book all the way through in my life.

LF: - You went into a lot of detail in your book, was your purpose to expose your life or the gay life as a whole? Why? Brittany - Actually the book was to expose both. It was to expose my life, because the bible says they overcome by the blood of the lamb and the by word of their testimony. So every time I share my story a healing takes place in me. Also I definitely wanted to expose/scare people from even looking at or considering the gay lifestyle. I wanted to expose the secrets and all the devices Satan uses to trick people into it and how hard it can be to leave once you’re in it for so long.

LF: - What plans do you have for your life now? Will you write more?

Brittany - At the moment my plans for my life is to continue to be Gods vessel, study more of His Word, but as far as with the homosexual life, I believe God allowed me to go through what I did, so people can come to me for guidance. I plan to also be married when God sends his man for me, and also to have children after I get mar-

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ried, and just walking in Gods purpose for me. And it’s funny you asked if I will write more, because my pastor actually said she will help me write a shorter book that will reach more teens, because she won’t promote the one I have now, she feels its too graphic. So I’m going to submit like Paul, and be all things to all people, if it causes the gospel to spread then I’m down.

LF: - If you had the opportunity to witness to someone who is struggling with fornication and homosexuality what would you say?

Brittany - Wow, that’s a toughy! Well to me I believe sin is sin. So I would try to address the root of the problem, then give them scriptures to back up both sins. For example, my accountability partner realized my basis wasn’t so much homosexuality as it was more attention based. If I would have gotten the attention from men like I did from women, I would have swayed to being promiscuous with men. And if I can’t really at the moment answer the question then I don’t mind directing them to other men and women of God that specialize in that area, until I become more knowledgeable on issues relating to fornication.

LF: - How do you feel about how the church handles issues relating to homosexuality? Do you see any success? Why or why not?

Brittany - I hate how the church is ignorant on the issue, as they are to so many other taboo issues as that’s what they call them.

Now I cant speak for all churches, but I can pin point that a majority of the African American churches aren’t educated on the topic. For example, my church pushes things under the rug and addressing the issue is a no no, because we aren’t transparent enough. Now you asked do I see any success? Well at my church at the moment, no. Every week young girls are being recruited into the life and the pastors just say we will pray for them and send them to our church counselor who has no clue about this lifestyle. So its kind of sad, and I pray my church (the church as a whole) will wake up before its too late because too many people are in it too deep.

LF: - Do you now have to limit your contact with women and if not why?

Brittany - It’s crazy because God delivered me fully from having any desires for women, now women in the life that have a huge manipulative spirit, I wouldn’t spend too much time with them, because God said don’t put trust in the flesh, and though I haven’t turned back to females or slipped up since I’ve been free, I’m not going to put myself in the situation where something could go down. I just joined a women’s ministry and even though these women are all older ladies, I see them as the beautiful WOW! |WINTER 2011

creations of God, that’s about it. My mind no longer goes to that sexual realm. I guess because of the renewed mind the Bible talks about.

LF: - Many may not understand why you say that but reading your book I understand how God delivered you from same sex attraction. Tell me how have you kept a renewed mind, what are some of the strategies God has given you to walk pure before Him successfully?

Brittany - I have kept a renewed mind through studying the word and hearing it.

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Despite the disagreements I have with my church, my pastors are awesome at teaching the word. I live by the scripture 2 Corinthians 10:4 & 5, which says to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. so when Satan brings foolishness to me, I bind it just as quick as it came. That’s about the only strategy I use, and I guess also James 4:7 to resist the devil and he will flee. I also read scriptures that tell me who I am, and I quote them.

4 example through Christ blood I have power over Satan, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am the head and not the tail, I am above and not beneath. and so forth.

qualifications of overseers and deacons. But I would have to get back to this question after God tells me the answer.

LF: - What would you say to someone who has a loved one bound by homosexuality, what advice would you give?

Brittany - I would tell a person with a loved one to continue to pray for them and speak life, they will need that covering. Also just love on them. Now loving and condoning are too different things. Definitely let them know you don’t accept what they are doing, but you will not disown them. Just show genuine love. Also what I feel helps when I talk to people about the life is getting to know the root. For example was it

Brittany - This walk with Christ is amazing, I have peace that can’t no man understand.

For some reason favor is on my life, people are always blessing me financially, I was silly in the world and that silliness carried over in Christ. So I just enjoy making other people smile. And like in all honesty I am so passionate about stopping girls and guys from considering and entering into the life.

It’s just so much that my book couldn’t even contain, from seeing my friend who was just experimenting with the life back in the day and now seeing her as a full fledged lesbian in the life. She used to be so cute and a hooper, now she has a huge slash on her neck, lips purple from marijuana, and she is so skinny. The (homosexual) life has taken so much from her, because like I tell people, its just not homosexuality, but drugs, alcohol, disrespectfulness, disobedience, suicidal thoughts and etc. so I know this is one degree of my purpose and God is still showing me so much of what he has called me to be and do.

“...I definitely wanted to expose/ scare people from even looking at or considering the gay lifestyle. I wanted to expose the secrets and all the devices Satan uses to trick people into it and how hard it can be to leave once you’re in it for so long.”

LF: - While we are on the topic of church, there have been some who have come out of the closet so to speak to their congregations, how do you feel about those who are in leadership who do not live openly gay but are either struggling to overcome homosexuality or willing participants in the life? And should they step down from their leadership position?

Brittany - I know the answer to this question, but the problem is, at the moment I only have one scripture to back up my answer, and I’m not too sure how solid it is, but anyway I believe people who are held above reproach, should definitely step down from ministry if they are engaged in SSA (same sex attraction). Because when you are in the forefront like that, people are watching your walk, and if a younger Christian sees you doing that, they will think its ok. I go to 1 Timothy 3 when it talks about the WINTER 2011 | WOW!

molestation, insecurity, not having a father figure, home life, those all make the difference when speaking to a loved one. And once again I’m still new to ministering in this area so I go to a weathered Christian who would have more insight, for example I have Janet Boynes book “Called Out” and its a great tool for parents, pretty much everybody.

LF: - What one thing would you say to young girls?

Brittany - One thing I say to young girls is first they are too beautiful to engage in this life and explain to them the purpose God has on their life.

LF: Well said Brittany!

Thank you this was a great interview and I pray that God can use this interview to propel you for His Glory and to really touch others lives with the power His grace, freedom and love.

If you would like to purchase Brittany Ursery’s book visit her online www.thetruthbehindthescenes.com For more information or help relating to this topic visit: www.exodusinternational.org ©2011 Latonja Flowers Latonja Flowers is a dedicated wife, mother, indie apparel designer and founder of HerSoul Business Group LLC an indie community that recognizes independant artist who use their gifts in philathropic outreach. Indie Heart is an organization that promotes independent artist who have a heart for Christ visit online www. hersoul.net

LF: -Reading your book was eye opening but it wasn’t until I got to the end that God touched my heart, I am always overwhelmed when God changes someone’s life, what do you think about life in Christ now and this journey, what is the thing God has made you passionate about?

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         

 

    

    

 

 



       

  

 



  

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  

   

 

 

  

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 

 

 

    

 

   

 

    

 

 

 

 

  

  

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 

 

 

 

Registration: Charter Members: $72.25 General Members: $76.50 Guest: $85.00 Remit form with payment to VOL-WOP, 458 Chestnut St., Lawrenceville, GA 30046 or online at www.women-of-power.org Name Address Email

Phone Registration includes: All sessions, Saturday breakfast, Saturday lunch, Gala of Gifts admission Charter member registration includes special event for charter members

Pe b b l e s f r o m Pa s t o r B J

I’m On The Other Side

I

sn’t it amazing how the transport from one location to another can appear to be very time consuming?

As children we longed for summer vacations, however the question was asked repeatedly…”are we there yet”? As we grow older and begin to become involved with education, occupations and the rearing of family, the journeys become more meaningful and quite intriguing.

The concept of being on “the other side” can be challenging, rewarding and in some cases frightening, because being on the other side, encompasses, change. Being on the otherside involves a relocation, an act of transfer.

The Apostle Paul addressed the issue of being on the other side. The Bible states in Romans 12:2, Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” As we are ending one year and in the process of moving into a new year, let us be WINTER 2011 | WOW!

mindful to begin to transform our minds into a state of renewal. When you’ve done the same thing for years, and the results are the same non productive results, it’s time to transform, relocate and go to the other side.

If you have made the same statements for decades and the delivery of the statements have not brought forth wisdom or prosperity of thought, now would be a grand time to adjust your thought process, and go to the other side.

The other side is really not as far as it appears, the other side for you may be: it’s now time to take a new class, it may be a hobby you never take the time to enjoy.

The other side for you may be a walk in the park, joining an exercise class. The most important component to reaching the other side is that you must begin the journey. As Paul said, be not conformed to the things of this world; mind you I love technology, but don’t become enslaved to the technology which was invented to assist you.

Let’s begin the new year, by taking a

walk on the other side….”but be ye transformed”…transformation is a metamorphosis, an activity, a focused state of mind.

Each reader if honest can think of one area in your life, which could use either a major or a minor tune up.

By allowing the transformation, relocation, and evolving of your mind, you become a living, breathing, blueprint and testimony of the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. Wow, just by going to the other side, just by being all you can be, just by expanding your horizon.

So often we hear, “today is the first day of the rest of your life”, well…it really is!

You can begin anew, are you there yet? In some cases, not yet, but you have begun and you’ve got a great start, because you are now on the other side.

Dr. B. J. Relefourd is Co-Pastor of Vision of Life Ministries, Lawrenceville GA with her husband of over 29 years, Pastor Marion Relefourd . The Relefourds have two children, 1 daughter-in-love and three grandchildren

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D o Yo u r D o w i t h C h i k u ’

Winter hair care with Banging Style

Elegant Style: Flowing Layers with Swoop Bang

Classic Style: Flowing Layers with straight Bang

A

re you looking for a not so BIG change in your hair style during the winter season? Bangs may be your small but new change of style, with a clip of a bang you can give your soft day look a stunning night look.

ExpoStyles Plus Model TeRena Colbert enjoys wearing her hair long with flowing layers, so she can still create upsweep styling or a straight flat iron style. TeRena was ready to cut her swoop band into a straight bang for a small but bold change for the winter season.

Winter Hair care: Winter weather is rough on the hair. Cold

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temperatures and harsh winds can dry it out; hot heat in the home also can cause breakage and damaged strands. Want to escape that lackluster look and maintain healthy, shiny hair during winter months?

All you need to do is give your hair a little of care throughout the winter season.

Moisturizing Shampoo & Conditioner: Q: What type of shampoo & conditioner should I use in the winter months?

A: Using products for your hair type is best in keeping a healthy head of hair.

The first step in shampooing your hair is to use the correct shampoo. The condition, texture and chemical history (i.e., natural, color, perm, relaxed etc.) of your hair will help determine the right product. Consult with your stylist to get a professional recommendation.

Q: How often should I shampoo and condition my hair during the winter months?

A: Do not shampoo your hair too often.

One of the most common mistakes people make is shampooing their hair too often in cold weather; both the hair and scalp dry out more easily. Try not to shampoo your hair more than once every 3days or weekly.

May vary depending on your hair type and activities you are involved in.

Making sure to use a higher quality professional shampoo will generally use a gentler surfactant as well as additional moisturizers and conditioning agents to maintain a healthy scalp and hair.

Q: Should I use a leave-in conditioner on my dry hair every time I shampoo?

A: Use a leave-in conditioner on damp hair after each shampoo. Not only will it keep your hair from drying out during the course of the day, it will help prevent static.

Protein Conditioner treatment: Chemically-treated hair must always be treated with a protein conditioner two weeks before and after chemical service.

Protein offers the following benefits: •Strengthen dry, brittle hair •Keep hair strong in preparation for relaxers and after relaxers •Treat damage from heat styling •Temporarily mend split ends Protein conditioners can be used regularly to help keep your hair stronger. Protein conditioners contain key ingredients that are beneficial in maintaining healthy hair. In-

gredients such as saw palmetto, keratin and biotin strengthen dry, brittle hair and mend split ends or breakage. Protein conditioners will also help repair damage caused from heat styling or relaxers. Including a protein conditioner in your regimen will help you achieve healthier, longer hair. There are various types of protein conditioners, it’s best to consult a professional stylist for the correct one for your hair condition.

Hot oil: every 8 weeks Penetrating Moisture treatment: every 2 weeks Hair trimming: Q: How often should I get my dead ends trimmed?

A: It depends on the condition and texture of your hair. In some cases a short hair style may require you to trim more often to maintain style.

Healthy hair: The average head of hair grows about one-half inch every month, ¼ of an inch of hair should be trimmed every 6 to 8 weeks Natural textured hair: Should be on a regular schedule as well, every 8 weeks.

Chemical processed hair: If you find that there is a need for more split end removal than every 6 to 8 weeks, you may be damaging the hair through your chemical process or styling habits.

If, you are not trimming your hair to just save length, it will not work if your ends are split. The damage will only move upward until much of the stands become more damaged and you then will have to get a major hair cut by a professional stylist.

Photos: Model TeRena Colbert/Hair by Chiku’ Griffin/Make-up by Gwen Pettie/ Monica Burgess Photography ©2011 Chiku Griffin, www.expostyles.com Email your questions to expostyles@gmail.com

Product Recommendations: For All Hair Types Ardyss Shampoo & Conditioner For Natural Hair Types Carol’s Daughters Rosemary Purifying Shampoo & Conditioner Sweet Nature by Eddie Natural hair care products For Chemically treated Hair Types:Aphogee Shampoo & Conditioner WOW! |WINTER 2011

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

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T

Marlena Daniel

he call to Leadership is deepened when we fully recognize that there are biblical principles and processes that one must apply and experience in order to be an effective leader. There is also the issue of one’s character and the ability to remain teachable your entire life.

In this, and upcoming articles it is my prayer that you see yourself and optimize your leadership roles by applying these biblical truths as I will write about the challenges, responsibilities, and the rewards for God’s leaders.

Following to Lead:

“As you move forward you will see just how important it is to pray and not always speak. So be mindful of your conversation. If God allows you to see it, be honored that He would entrust you with prayer concerning it. In the meantime be the change you want to see, because at the end of the day it’s not so much “the call” that matters, it’s how you respond to your experiences.”

I used to always hear the term, “In order to be a leader, you must first be a follower”; my response was always “Amen”. As time went

by I began to have a deeper understanding of this famous cliché. There is an experience in following that you can’t get from a book or a college course. Your “following” experience is chock full of revelations, and “how to’s” as the Holy Spirit strategically leads you in following.

Many of the revelations will be in how you felt as a follower and what not to do as a leader.

These mini lessons have great value and tend to create a greater sense of compassion for Gods people. The lessons are also used to challenge you to intercede, forgive, walk in love, and interestingly hold things in the strictest of confidence. Having said that, I want to talk about James 3 and apply it to the “following” experience for those that are called to lead.

It’s so easy to speak outwardly about how we

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feel concerning things that we see. As a leader one of your strengths will be that of communication as well as a strong desire for things to be done the right way.

As you mature, God allows you to “see” things, especially in the lives of other leaders. He may also allow you to see or have access to information regarding the inner workings of your place of worship.

The impact of that can be devastating and even challenge you to leave. There are many reasons why God allowed you to experience it but, could one of the reasons be to test your level of integrity? I believe so. During seasons like this, it is important to surround yourself with mature people that not only recognize your purpose but also have a heart to live according to the will of God. As women, it is imperative that we become disciplined in our conversation.

We have, because of our past behaviors, been labeled as “talkers” and in many cases lack the ability to be discreet. In James 3:2 it refers to the person that never says the wrong thing as being fully developed in character. I have yet to see this expression in the bible about any other character trait. Are you one of those people? Do

you speak out in reference to what you have seen, heard or experienced? If so, take a moment and get it right with God. You can start today by reading James 3 and asking God for wisdom. As you move forward you will see just how important it is to pray and not always speak. So be mindful of your conversation. If God allows you to see it, be honored that He would entrust you with prayer concerning it. In the meantime be the change you want to see, because at the end of the day it’s not so much “the call” that matters, it’s how you respond to your experiences.

To ask questions regarding this article you may contact Marlena Daniel via email at marlenadaniel@wowmagazine.org Marlena Daniel offers personal and professional coaching services to individuals, independent professionals, groups and corporations through BEYOND THIS, LLC. Marlena’s customized services strategically place her clients on the path to success, productivity, profitability and longevity. Her vital principles of teamwork and leadership have proven to be impactful and transformational. 888-4587995 or via email at info@marlenadaniel.com you may also connect with Marlena via social media: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and YouTube WOW! |WINTER 2011

In the Kitchen with Sandi

Jerk Tofu

Ingredients: 1 pack organic Nasoya cubed super firm tofu 1 teaspoon Walkerswood traditional Jamaican Jerk seasoning 1/2 sweet Vidalia onion, diced 2 garlic cloves, diced/ 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 3 tablespoons Bragg liquid aminos all-purpose seasoning 1 cup brown rice or 1 cup quinoa Method: (Wash quinoa; drain water. Boil two cups water. Add quinoa to water; cover pot, reduce heat to low. Quinoa cooks 15-20 min.)

Step 1. Open the pack of tofu and drain off the water. Put the tofu in a

bowl.

Step 2. Add the jerk seasoning and the Bragg liquid aminos all-purpose season-

ing and allow to marinate for five minutes.

Step 3. Sauté the onion and garlic in the olive oil; then add the tofu and sauté

Sandi in the kitchen with Dr. Robert Feldman showing him how to prepare her famous Jerk Tofu.

for five minutes. Add 3/4 cup of water, cover the saucepan and allow the tofu to cook for 20 minutes. Add 2 cups of water to the rice; salt to taste. Once the water starts to boil, reduce the heat to low and allow the rice to cook.

Jump-start your day with easy, healthy recipes and spice up your kitchen with sizzling hot music by Philip Michael Thomas.Don’t Delay! Order your Recipe for Life vegetarian cookbook with music to cook by Philip Michael Thomas today! For only $19.95. Price includes Shipping & Handling. www.sandimorais.net Send me an email at smorais1@bellouth.net and let me know how you are enjoying the recipes.

(Photographs by Philip Michael Thomas)

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

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S o l o m o n ’s C a f e

Featuring Jason Kirk Bartley & Cassandra Bridges

Solomon’s Cafe is dedicated to the art of the written and spoken word. Sit back, relax and grab your favorite coffee, tea, or latte and be blessed by this month’s lyrical artists. To have your poetry published in WOW’s Solomon’s Cafe poetry section, please submit poems to our online portal: http://wowmagazine.submishmash.com/Submit/ 34

WOW! |WINTER 2011

God Grant Me Direction

The Promise

God grant me direction.

You steer the wheel.

Navigate my ship.

So I know it’s for real.

I promise never to leave nor forsake you

When all else fails, Turmoil begins to fall.

Lord, you steer the ship, And we will make it through it all.

Provide your needs without a thought All your sins have been bought

When there’s no end in sight.

The rivers seem to twist and cross.

Lord you guide the way, That way I know I won’t be lost.

Through life’s destiny we’ll sail, ‘Till my withered ship can sail no more.

The Lord will say it’s time, Then we’ll reach the other shore.

Jason KIrk Bartley

To love you always Take care of you all your days

Knowing you the deserve the best I give you your wants with just a quest The promise For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the LORD our God shall call I shed my blood No destruction as a flood.

High or low the sun will shine In the rainbow as a sign Never to leaves us along The comforter will stand where it belongs He prepared a mansion for us So there’s no need to fuss What is your promise to the Lord?

Is it to present your body a living sacrifice?

As God gave his only begotten son’s life Cassandra Bridges

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

35

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      

                                                          

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     

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   

WOWderfully Beautiful

A

BY KYMBER REE’NE IRVIN s we leave this New Year and enter into the new one we must keep track of our skincare health. As the weather and seasons change we can face changes in our skin and holiday treats from various parties can also change our skin. What we eat does affect our skin. Always remember to moisturize after cleansing and before you apply your daily cosmetics. Washing your face twice or more times a day is very helpful in preventing unwanted dirt and oil in the pores. This is beneficial to men as well as women. Maintaining a balanced and nutritional diet is key to promoting your best skincare health.

Ladies it is also good to remember that when attending all of your holiday festivities that you must apply your cosmetics appropriate to the occasion; for example, casual formal, and day or evening. You do not want to have a dramatic look for a casual function. Also every look is not for every woman. Evaluate your face and your best feature and apply according to your best facial feature such as eyes, lips, cheeks, skin tone, and even your nose. Always highlight and bring notice to your best facial point and your look will speak for itself. Too many women seek to get the look of their favorite celebrity; the key is to create your own look and be the celebrity. This will make your look your style and people will take notice.

And as we come to the end of the year I must stress out with the old and in with the new re-evaluate your cosmetic bag and throw out old make-up especially mascara and eye shadows. They should be changed every six weeks for mascara and eye shadow should never be used until it’s flakey. If you tend to have favorite colors stock up but never try to make it last.

Foundation, powders and concealers will naturally be replaced more regularly because they are used more frequent. Remember out with the old in with the new. Look for tips on how to save on cosmetics by shopping around and making comparisons in my next article.

Happy New Year Happy New You!

Happy New Year Happy New

You!

©2010 Kymber Ree’ne Irvin is a Philadelphia native and has attended Philadelphia Community College, The Art Institute of Philadelphia and New Concept Beauty Academy. Contact Kymber at www.yourkissyface.com, Kymberreene@ yourkissyface.com

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

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V a l e r i e H i c k s Po w e

The Power ofChoice

Choosing to move past the brick wall and a plan to make this your best year yet!

BY VALERIE HICKS POWE ast year was a tough one for most people. Personal and career set backs have left scores of us petrified, reeling in pain, anxious and confused— Some would describe it as hitting a brick wall. What most fail to understand is “Brick walls are there for a reason. Brick walls aren’t there to keep us out.

The brick walls are there to show us how badly we want something.

Brick walls stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.”

That was a profound quote from Randy Pausch, a man who attained his childhood dream of becoming a rocket scientist. In his book

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Strengthening Your Resolve to Move Past the Brick Wall 1. Set real goals and be prepared to fight for them. Don’t waste precious energy on fighting for things that aren’t critical to your goal. However, when the wall is interrupting your dream be determined to do what ever it takes to get past it.

2. When you hit a wall, take an honest look at how you got there. Acknowledge your role and put a plan in place to

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eliminate that conduct in the future.

3. Accept the things you have no control over and determine how you can make the best of the situation until it changes. In other words, take the lemons and make lemonade.

4. Vent, if you must but do it quickly and move on. Don’t continuously whine or complain about the situation. To ensure you don’t slip into a whiny mode establish a network of accountability. Give someone you trust permission to remind you to Stop

the Last Lecture, Pausch challenged readers to work hard for their dreams and to be content where they are as they work through the process. More importantly, Pausch used personal examples to demonstrate how barriers, roadblocks, or brick walls could not stop him and should not stop a person on a mission to turn their dreams into reality. Although the book was written at the end of his very young but very full life, Randy Pausch was determined to share the insight, which made his life so full; that is the Power of Choice.

You may not have chosen your present circumstances but you certainly can choose not to allow them to rob you of your dreams, as long as you are willing to Choose

Whining! Promise your self and them that you won’t get angry with them when they call you out.

5. Don’t waste time. Design a plan of action and stay on course.

As we encounter the unknowns of this New Year, let’s not allow its challenges to derail our dreams. When we are met with a challenge that seems like a brick wall, let’s choose to work harder, making this our best year yet.

WOW! |WINTER 2011

to negotiate your way around or over the brick wall. However, making a choice is more involved that simply coming to a decision. My son at the tender age of eight learned that lesson through a riddle, which he could not wait to share with anyone who would listen. The riddle is, “Five birds are sitting on a ledge and three decided to fly a way. How many are left?” If you answered two, as most do, you’d be wrong. The answer is five because a decision alone does not constitute a choice. Our decisions change nothing until we make an affirmative act to address the circumstances. We must act on our choice before we can realize a change.

It is not enough to come to a decision about a particular choice and even follow it up with action; it is imperative that we establish realistic expectations about what we can change. More specific, a change in our present actions can impact our future, but there is nothing we can do about the past. The best we can do with the past is accept it, take a lesson from it and move forward. The fact is, we are here, however we arrived at this point is only relevant to our future decisions. Have you ever encountered a person who is constantly complaining about things over which they no longer have control? The failed marriage, the poor career choice, the things they wished they had done are all outcomes they can not change. I’m sure they don’t realize it but their negative attitude only worsens the situation. Whining over what has happened will not add anything of value and serves only to delay progress by zapping energy that could be spent on positive thinking.

Realistically dealing with the past requires two major steps; 1.) taking an honest look at how we arrived at the place of contention; and 2.) view it from the perspective of what can be done in the present to avoid the same outcome in the future.

Too often people view their circumstances from a victim’s perspective; moaning and lamenting about “How could this happen to me?” Why is this happening to me?” They never stop to think, what role they played in creating the dilemma. Case in point: I have a friend who is a principle in a construction management firm. For years the firm enjoyed financial and critical success. As one of the vice presidents, my friend was living her dream. However, when the founder and CEO stepped down, the business shifted into a downward trend.

There were numerous signs that trouble was brewing long before things spiraled out of control, yet all of the principles would WINTER 2011 | WOW!

not or could not make the difficult choice of taking corrective action. Things were further complicated when another company committed to purchasing the firm.

The deal would have infused the firm with much needed cash and relieved the significant financial strain under which they were operating. So, month after month they continued to hope the deal would close, but it didn’t. As their debt mounted and revenues shrank, they were forced to close several offices—not by choice but because they were evicted. Further exacerbating their problems, government contracts dried up due primarily to the firm’s declining credit. My friend blamed the government for not giving them a chance rather than taking a hard look at her company’s poor choices. Her attitude personifies Proverbs 19:3(b) “A man’s destruction is caused by his own folly, yet he rages against God.” When I brought this to her attention she said, “I know but we were hoping the purchase would come through. That would be the solution to everything.” The cause of their dilemma was threefold; refusing to see their culpability; looking to someone else to solve their problems; and their refusal to exercise the choice of correcting the matter.

Early on, they could have cut expenses but they didn’t. They could have strategically closed offices which would have spared the extensive damage to their credit—they didn’t do that either. Incredibly, they felt doing nothing was the answer. I suppose in a way it was. But, I don’t think it was the answer they were looking for. It has been a two year struggle for my friend, whose dream now stands dead center of a brick wall. Sadly, the company has yet to take a critical look at the root of its troubles and devise a suitable plan of action to correct and prevent similar occurrences in the future. Unless something changes soon, her brick wall will result in the demise of the company and her dream.

It is worth noting that not every unfortunate situation is within our control. We can be humming along making all the right turns and ‘Bam!’ We fall into a hole we never saw coming. But even then, whining about the situation offers little solace. Further, concentrating on how bad things are leaves little room to see a solution. Most importantly, where the solution requires mental and physical long-suffering, complaining, blaming, and whining will sabotage any hope of success. Again, our best hope is to accept that it is, what it is. The real question is question is what can I do to survive it.

Steven Covey, in his highly acclaimed, The Seven Habits of Effective People, demonstrates this point in an account of a dilemma of Professor Victor Frank, a prisoner in the death camps of Nazi Germany. During his imprisonment Frank suffered the most humiliating and repugnant acts against human decency. With the exception of his sister, his entire family was murdered; including his wife. Frank endured horrendous acts of torture and indignities, all the while wondering if or when he would be lead into the gas chambers. During a period where he had been left for days naked in a small room, his mind wandered into what he would later describe as the “Last of the human freedoms”—a freedom that his captors could never seize. Frank discovered that although someone else could dominate his environment, even take control of his body, they could not control his response.

Accordingly, Frank decided to choose how what was happening to him was going to affect him. He realized that even though he was in a captive environment he still had the Power to Choose.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not [yet] seen. Frank personified that verse. He mentally projected himself into a circumstance in which he wanted to be. He envisioned himself talking to his students about how he survived the death camps. He would imagine himself teaching his students the lessons he had learned while a tortured captive. The more Frank took his focus off of his present circumstances by projecting on where he wanted to be, his freedom seemed to expand. He became an inspiration to others, including some of the guards, by helping them find meaning in their suffering and maintain dignity during captivity. Frank survived the death camps and lived to experience his dream of teaching his students the lessons he learned in captivity. Victor Frank’s brick wall was bigger that most of us will ever encounter, but like Frank, exercising our freedom to choose will ensure that the wall will not daunt our dreams . © Valerie Hicks-Powe is an author and a former senior trial attorney with the federal government.

A practicing attorney with nearly ten years of experience in all aspects of Employment Litigation, she is now in private practice. vhicksemt@gmail.com

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Regina Wells

Second Time Around

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“You never know where a person has been until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

I think it would behoove us all to be more compassionate with one another, especially, when we are going through marital issues.”

f you have read any of my articles in WOW, you know they have all been about relationships (mostly mine). This one will flow in that same vein. I would however like to thank Mrs. Candie Price and WOW for basically allowing me to testify, and somewhat “vent”.

I have already shared with you how I was saved and married very young. My marriage went sour and like many other Christians opted to divorce.

I want to share with you a much happier experience, though it came with testing as well. I call it my “second time around”. If you have ever been in a long term relationship, whether it led to marriage or not, you know that when it ends, whether sour or mutual, there are most likely some hurt feelings involved.

I vividly remember the day I left the courtroom, after signing my final divorce papers and crying in my car as my ex and I drove off our separate ways. Tears of mixed emotions, shame of having hurt him, worry for my little girl and to be honest, relief that it was over. I never asked him how he felt that day. But as I write this I remember the look on his face as we waited on the Judge in the hallway silently together and at a loss for words. And I remember how emotionally drained he sounded when he spoke before the Judge. As I sat in my car that day, preparing to pull off and start life without him, I thought “It’s going to be weird having a different last name from my child.”

In all her then four years of life, I never imagined her father and I would not be together. Now I was faced with so many different obstacles and challenges.

I went from high school where I had lived at home with my parents and sisters, to college where I had had roommates, straight to marriage. Now I was about to be alone, really on my own, for the first time. I had my child but she was a dependant, not the type companion I was used to. Over the next year or so, I coped with a lot, mostly feelings of shame, since I was the one who had “cheated” in the relationship.

It took me quite some time to forgive myself. I would soon find out that many around me would need way more time. (And I’m not talking about my EX!) When my current husband and I started dating, my entire past was rehashed, embellished and thrown back in HIS face on MY behalf ! I couldn’t believe how fellow church members, who thought they knew my story, were adding to the “he say, she say”

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drama, trying to discourage him from giving me a chance. Now I’m a writer, but let me tell you, some of the things people dreamed up and accused me of were far better than a lot of the situations I have had in several of my plays! (LOL) Here we were trying to get to know one another, and everyone around us was so busy concerned with what we were doing, I’m certain they neglected some events in their own lives being so concerned in ours.

But we worked through it because we saw things in each other that told us we belonged together. Now I’m a firm believer that you NEVER share your entire past with anyone, especially your partner. It’s just unnecessary baggage. The important stuff, vital to a relationship, you share those things but every little gory detail I don’t think that’s needed. (Maybe that’s just me) Nevertheless, I was honest with him and he was with me when we had questions about each other’s pasts. Once the questions were answered that was that, no constant digging and prodding. The more you dig the more things you don’t want or need to find, you’ll find.

Our feelings for each other grew and we knew we wanted to be together, forever. We had so much in common. We have very similar career goals. I know the old saying “opposites attract” but it feels real good to have ninety percent of your likes in common with your spouse, (for me anyway, I was married to my opposite the first time.) Don’t get me wrong it was not all doom and gloom in my first marriage, but we were more like roommates than soul mates. For me, hubby #1 and hubby #2 are polar opposites. My first husband is a good man and great father, just as I have said many times over, I just discovered he was not the man for me. Thankfully we have a great friendship and open line of communication when it comes to our daughter, and for that I’m very grateful.

I said all that to say this, once my new hubby and I moved passed everyone else’s opinions and leaned on God, we found He would supply all we needed in our union to be successful. I feel that now I am experiencing what marriage is really supposed to be.

I spoke to a friend of mine who is also in her second marriage and feels she got it right this time. After a life of painful in-law blues and a spouse who was a pretender, my friend is now enjoying her “second time around” as well.

If God is a forgiving God why can’t we be as quick to forgive one another? Why not be happy for someone who is finding happiness in their second marriage instead of scorning or branding them as a failure, because their first marriage didn’t work out to your liking? You never know where a person has been until you have walked a mile in their shoes. I think it would behoove us all to be more compassionate with one another, especially, when we are going through marital issues. Be grateful that it’s not you and your spouse considering divorce and certainly do not condemn the couple. Who knows, getting divorced and remarried may be the best thing that ever happened to them. Think about it.

Regina Wells is the married, mother of two daughters. She is the writer and director of “Between Love & A Hard Place” the movie coming soon. Follow her online Christian Soap Opera Blog at http://ginamaeeblogsoap.blogspot.com WOW! |WINTER 2011

FALL 2010 | WOW!

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Open Heart

The Bucket List 42

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BY TEX WEST ack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman starred in the blockbuster, The Bucket List. It was a movie about two gentlemen from different sides of the track who ended up as roommates in the hospital after both had been diagnosed with cancer. Carter Coleman ( Jack Nicholson) played a bitter billionaire who actually owned several hospitals, including the one that he was in. He had a scattered life and a torn relationship with his daughter. Edward Cole (Morgan Freeman) played a mechanic who had been happily married for 45 years and had raised successful educated children, although he once had dreams of being a college history professor. While roommates in the hospital, Edward, hopeful for a full recovery begins to write a list of everything that he wants to do before he ‘kicks the bucket’,thus The Bucket List. Things turn sour quickly for Edward when he is told that he has less than one year to live, discouraged he throws the list into the trash. Carter discovers the list and decides to not only write his own list but to convince Edward to escape from the hospital to fulfill their list, thus begins the adventure….

Do you have a bucket list? It seems as if the older I get, the longer my bucket list becomes. By working with people who are sick and by being present at over three hundred deaths has an effect on your perspective and how you position yourself in life. My non-inclusive list includes: world travels, hardwood floors, mission trips, getting the BMW after all of the kids are out of college, starting my own business, learning how to swim and getting that fit and forty-something body…the list just goes on and on. Now there’s nothing wrong with obtaining material possessions or worldly acknowledgements, but in the end-- what kind of legacy will I leave? How many people will I have touched? Will the world be less richer when I die? I ponder these thoughts frequently.

Working as a nurse in a rehabilitation center, we also have patients who live there long-term. In almost twenty years of nursing and having hundreds of patients, I’ve never seen anyone of them have: a college degree or employee of the month or salesman of the year displayed in their room. Regrettably, some have lived their lives checking off their bucket list of getting the degree, the promotion, the position, the house, the title, ‘the life’…and have missed the essence of their God-given purpose and call.

I wonder if you and I were given the expiration date on our lives, how would we rearrange our priorities and list. The hardwood floors and the BMW suddenly become trivial. How many souls would I have reached for Christ? Will I have modeled Godly wisdom and a submitted lifestyle for my kids to carry on through their lives? Would my husband consider me a blessing that supported him relentlessly?

I’m learning on my journey of life not to focus on what other people expect from me. People are fickled and are frankly still trying to figure out what’s going on in their own lives. I don’t want to miss out on one more thing that the Lord has for me because I’ve chased other desires and chosen to go down different roads than the ones that He has laid out for me. Micah 6:7-8 says, Does the LORD take delight in thousands of rams, In ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I present my firstborn for my rebellious acts, The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God? Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. So there we have it. How will we be judged? How does it affect our bucket list? What’s scratched off ? What’s added on? Thus the adventure begins... ©2011 Tex West resides in Grand Prairie, Texas in ministry with her husband, Minister Gerry West of West2West Ministries. They have 3 sons Michael, Mitchell and Micah. She is a member of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, Pastor Tony Evans.

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WOW! Books HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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eace and Blessings Family and I wish all the readers a Prosperous new year.

I’m Monica Hart, avid reader, former Librarian for 22 years, co-founder of “Escape Your World Book and Jazz Club” and the CEO of Hart Music and Literary Consulting. Books have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

My Mother is a retired Librarian with 35 years experience, so you can say, it’s in the genes. I’m very proud to be the new Book Editor for WOW Magazine.

Let’s get ready to go on a literary journey. My goal of this column is to introduce you the reader to a wide variety of books that I feel are prevalent to the edification of the Christian life experience. I want to introduce you to books written by mainstream as well as independent/self-published authors. I want to challenge you and also we are going to have fun.

There are many issues that are not addressed in Sunday morning services.

We will present authors writing/ specializing on Domestic and Substance Abuse, Christian Relationships, Finances in the Christian community, Homosexuality in the Church, Being Spiritual vs. Being Religious; Church Etiquette, and we have wonderful fiction authors writing books that will make you laugh and take you back to the good old days.

I welcome your submissions and also your suggestions on books to review. I can’t promise I will review them all but I will respond to all emails.

I look forward to hearing from you and let’s get ready to go on our literary journey together.

- Monica

WINTER 2011 | WOW!

Proverbs 31: The Virtuous Black Woman Volume 1

By Russel Blake Man of Psalms Publishing ISBN: 978-0-615-34398-3 www.russelblake.net

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nspirational food for the soul describes “Proverbs 31:The Virtuous Black Woman Volume 1” by Author Russel Blake and published by Man of Psalms Publishing. His book places focus on Proverbs 31 in the Bible and he honors, uplifts, encourages, and empowers women. His book contains Psalms, short stories, and praises.

I read his book in one sitting and during my reading I felt the love of God and the love of an African-American man for all women. As I was reading his book, I became very proud that a Black Man is speaking up on my behalf and telling me in strong words and saying that I’m special, I’m loved, and I’m honoring you.

The pieces have captivating titles such as “Black Woman I Love You”, “Quiet Strength,” “No Weapon Formed Against You Shall Prosper,” “Listening,” “Masculinity,” “My Black Queen” and my favorite “Seasons” which takes the four seasons of the year and equates them with the season of a Woman’s life. His book reads as a love story to Women that can be used as daily devotion to begin and end your day.

Author Russel Blake wrote a book that both Women and Men could both garner and glean strength and insight. We as women face negative images in the media, experience racism, abuse, and other hardships caused by society and others. I’m proud that a Black Man is standing up to address the issues and protect us. Women after reading this book will be proud to be an African-American Woman and “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Men will take away from this book, to always honor, uplift, and encourage all Women in their lives whether it’s their Grandmother, Daughter, Wife, Mother, and all women in general.

“Proverbs 31:The Virtuous Black Woman Volume 1” is a must read and I say Bravo Author Russel Blake for honoring women. ©2011 Monica Hart is an avid reader, former Librarian and the CEO of Hart Music and Literary Consulting. Contact Monica by submitting your request to our online submission portal at http://wowmagazine.submishmash.com/Submit

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Keep It Steamin’ with D.V. Freeman

How to Know If a Man Really Likes You? (Does he like you a little, a lot and will it last for a long time?)

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uys like girls and girls like guys but how do you really know if Your Man Likes You? Wouldn’t it be good to know how and what your man is thinking about you? Or, what he really thought about you before you hooked up, started dating, got engaged or even got married. So often relationships are doomed before they start because one partner didn’t know what the other partner was really thinking. Was/is it like? Was/is it love? Or, was/is it letting your guard down just long enough for lust to take over and you miss the longevity boat?

1.Does your man really like you?

2.How do you know if he seriously likes

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you?

3.Is it you that he likes or does your man like something about you? Let’s see, is it: •Your Hair •Your Eyes •Your Lips •Your Hips •Your Personality •Your Voice •Your Physical Body •Your Complexion •Your Walk •Your Talk •Your Professional Abilities •Your Education/Skills •Your Possessing the things that He Lacks •Your Smile •Your Resources •Your Job

•Your Family Roots •Your Connections •Your Style •Or something else?

4.If you are a Christian can he handle that or does he like that? Or, is being into that spirituality thing a turn off to him?

5.Does he like a few things about you or a lot?

6.Are you at the top of his Top Ten List or are you a 4, 5, or a 6 – meaning, he just puts up with you or deals with you until the next woman comes around that he likes better?

7.Do you know for a fact that your man likes you for real?

8.Are you going by what other people say about your man liking you?

9.Is his liking you all in your mind?

Floating around in your head? Or, is it WOW! |WINTER 2011

something that you are thinking but he is not?

10.How long does like – like, and keep liking? As long as: a date, a hug, a kiss, a relationship, a one night stand, and an ongoing good time of sex or a wedding?

11.How long will like continuing liking you?

12.If you found out that your man doesn’t like you as much as you like him, would you still hold on and hang in there with him?

13.Can you handle the truth? Suppose he likes some things about you but there are other things that really turn him off ?

14.Have you put his like to the test?

At some point you have to answer your own questions by saying to yourself: Does my man like me? Does he, huh? Does my man really, I mean really, I mean really like me and if so, where and what is my proof ?

Is this relationship based on like, love or letting him have what he wants?

The real deal truth is that men rarely like everything there is to like about a woman all at the same time. Men like bits and pieces of a woman at a time and every now and then they run into or find one and are able to say: “Now this is the full package”. Let’s call the roll, and I hope that you are sitting down, near something strong to drink like: lemonade, ginger ale or grape juice (LOL).

There are three different kinds of men and they all like, love and look for relationships in different ways and have different outcomes. There is the spiritual man, the natural man and the carnal man (1 Corinthians 2:14-3:3).

•A spiritual man can and should give you what you expect to get from a man who has made the Bible his only rule of faith and practice. The downside could be that he is not on top of his reality game and what it means to be well balanced in both worlds.

•A natural man is a man of the world and the flesh and could care less about the spiritual and biblical stuff. He can’t even respond to spiritual stuff.

•A carnal man will give you the spiritual and whatever he is feeling or wanting at that time. He struggles with the spiritual vs. the carnal.

Whether spiritual, natural or carnal a man is a man, is a man is a man. Men in general think the same, and below is what the average man is like long before he comes to know the Lord.

He likes: 1.The parts of your body that he can see WINTER 2011 | WOW!

first and even feel if you let him 2.Then, he likes the parts of your body that you regularly or usually expose in your normal everyday dress or outfit 3.After that, he like the parts of your body that you allow him to see because you are close and working towards a relationship or in one already 4.And if all goes well, men like what they can see and what they can feel of your body because you have allowed or made them your special someone If a man tells you that he doesn’t put the body of a woman first then tell him to drink a cup of ice cold water, load it with ice cubes, go to Alaska for a year and come back when he has thawed out; because that’s one of those frozen lies. I have yet to meet a man that all he sees is a woman’s personality and doesn’t care about anything else. Or, he just sees her skills, talents, profession, abilities and nothing else. If a man says that, he is full of crap for real and for sure.

What do men see first?

Many men start out seeing a woman’s body and then at some point they get to know the woman. I didn’t say that it was right but it is the way it is. It is just how men are wired. It is hard to know that he likes you when you know that all he sees and talks about is your “Breasts, Body or your Butt”. There is nothing wrong with men seeing or liking a woman’s body. As long as they know and understand that they can’t fall in love with a body and think that it is going to last or make it – in a seriously committed relationship. It takes more than a body to survive in a relationship. Because: •THAT BODY HAS A NAME! •THAT BODY HAS A FACE! •THAT BODY HAS A HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS! •AND THAT BODY IS A PERSON WITH PERSONALITY FOR SURE! •THAT BODY IS GOD’S DAUGHTER When it comes to women liking men they need to not play vaginal games. In my book: Your Choice Is Your Trouble (Moving on after the choices you’ve made,) I talk about the vaginal games that women play and some women are ruthless at these games. No love, no feelings, no concern, no sympathy and no heart – just game.

If a man ever finds out that you (the woman or his woman) played the game on him, you’ll never really get his love because, there will always be someone else out there that he sees, that wants to play the game too and he might or will take her up on that offer.

Before you start dating a man take care of some Relationship Business First.

Look in his eyes and test the water because you might just be jumping into some mud. Ask him some questions like: 1.Is the Lord first or second in your life?

2.Is dating a spiritual woman what you really want, and can you really handle it and her?

3.Are you ready for a real deal relationship?

4.Do you want to be in a committed relationship at this point in your life?

5.Am I the one that you have been looking, wanting and waiting for?

6.Are there things about me that you know you don’t like and that turns you off before we go any further?

7.If I walked out on you right now,

“A spiritual man can and should give you what you expect to get from a man who has made the Bible his only rule of faith and practice.” would you be okay with that, even if we never see each other again?

8.Would you put your life on the line for me?

9.Who or what is most important in your life? God, you, me, your children, your job, your car, your remote control, your friends or your…?

The Truth Is: You Know A Man Likes You When: 1.He is committed to Galatians 2:20 as one of his life verses 2.He can’t wait until you meet his mother, father or someone who is significant to him 3.He is open and honest enough to tell you?

4.He wants to be with you almost just as much as you want to be with him 5.He respects you 6.He dreams about you 7.He doesn’t want to risk being with someone else and losing you or what the

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two of you have 8.He is consistent in the things that matter most 9.He confides in you (things that he wants few people to know) 10.He starts growing with you 11.He makes adjustments 12.He spends lots of time thinking about you (and he may or may not tell you) 13.He tells his best friend(s) about you 14.He tells his family (mom, dad or children about you) 15.He is easily hurt by you 16.He works hard at communicating with you 17.He stops being confused and confusing you with other women 18.He asks you what do you want from him and then he tries to accommodate you or make it happen 19.He starts growing in his love for you 20.He is and stays focused on you 21.He works hard at choosing the right words to say to you 22.He supports you 23.He expects from you what he is willing to give to you 24.He refuses to put his hands on you and runs from domestic violence 25.He can explain to you what he means

when he says that he likes you 26.He likes you enough to listen to you 27.He is a man of his word 28.He puts more emphasis on your positives than your negatives Remember in Biblical times just as today there was like, love and other reasons that relationships came together. People cared a lot about each other, or liked each other or one was purchased for the other or one was given as a reward for valor. And there was kidnapping or given by a king or parental selection or contract. Here are a few that you should study and learn from: 1.Abraham and Sarai/Sarah (Genesis 11:29) 2.Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24:67) 3.Jacob, Leah and Rachel (Genesis 29:15-30) 4.Deborah and Lapidoth ( Judges 4:4) 5.Samson and Delilah ( Judges 14:2) 6.Boaz and Ruth (Ruth 4:10-17) 7.David and Michal (2 Samuel 3:14) Ask yourself why do you like the person that you like? Is it for spiritual reasons or the need to be with someone? Is it because you want to get married and have children?

Or, you just want to be able to say that you have someone in your life? Or, you are tired of being alone? Or, you don’t want some-

y l l u f r de W WO unny!

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Copyright © 2010. Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. Darrell V. Freeman, M.A., B.A., has a Master’s Degree from Moody Graduate School and graduated from the Philadelphia College of Bible. His latest straight talk relationship book, “ Your Choice Is Your Trouble”, details in a no-holds-barred way how to move on after the choices you’ve made (Purchase your copy today from www.dvfenterprises.com or www.amazon.com. He is the author of 6 books, the Founder of Joshua Counseling Center, and is a nationally-recognized motivational speaker.

Joyful ‘toon by Mike Waters www.joyfultoons.com © 2007 Michael D. Waters

TRANSFORMATION

one else to have him or her? Or, you started having sex years ago and haven’t figured out how to get your body under control and subjection? Or, you want to see just how much your like can grow into love, and if your love with last, and can it develop into a wedding that honors the Lord your God? Do yourself a favor and stop trying to figure out where your man is with you all the time. Does he like you, love you or…

If he is a good man - he will tell you, especially if he doesn’t want to ever lose you.

And stop thinking that men in the Lord don’t have feelings, emotions, desires, wants and needs just like other men. Some just do a better job than others when it comes to their own personal growth and relationship with Him. It always turns out better when both of you like and love the Lord first.

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And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. –ROMANS 12:2 KJV WOW! |WINTER 2011

Loneliness and the Path to Wholeness thru Brokenness

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BY MICHELLE CAMERON have debated if I should write this piece, but someone else’s status update confirmed for me that I need to “put pen to paper”.

My path has been lonely for a very long time. I have made several attempts to become engrafted into various associations/alliances, but these efforts seemed short-lived.

After going through this cycle repeatedly for several years now I have come to the conclusion that this time of quietness means it is time for me to do some serious introspection.

I won’t list all that I have concluded or discovered during these “alone” moments, but I must share that I am more dependent on what God speaks to my heart vs. what someone on the other end of the phone may feel. We are all entitled to our opinions, but I have learned that my opinion - and anyone else’s, for that matter - pales in comparison to what God has to say about everything. It’s a lot easier for me to pick up the Word, flip through its pages (or click through the passages) to understand what He wants to communicate to me right now.

It may be a word of correction, caution, reassurance and definitely, words of comfort and hope.

I have devoured MANY books over the past couple years (esp. Christian non-fiction), and I sense that my level of reading is about to increase. There is so much that I can learn through the world of books, and I love to pick through someone’s brain to understand what he/she was feeling/thinking at the time they produced their work of expression. These readings have sharpened my mind and they have helped me in times when I have felt misunderstood or “weird”.

Times of loneliness (or “aloneness”) have allowed me to find my voice. For years - in fact, for most of my life, my voice was overshadowed by strong personalities in one form or another.

Whether male or female, family member or friend (questionable?), I have heard and digested expectations from others and attempted, to my own emotional hurt, to live up to these lofty aspirations. Once your life is formed by others’ opinions it is difficult to know your heart and what YOU desire. You hear what other people think is best for you, and because you believe “Bro. So&So wouldn’t lead me astray, correct?” or “This is fam, so they mean well” and you follow along, trusting that the end-result will be as good as they promised. I have learned THE HARD WAY that being quiet or shy is no excuse for surrendering who YOU ARE to the desires and wishes of what someone else wants for you. If that someone else is not GOD or if GOD has not confirmed it to you that this is His desire for your life, then it is quite okay to step away or politely say “Thanks, but no thanks.”

I believe my level of discernment on situations is more heightened and stronger, now that the other voices are not so close. Prayerful reflection on each day’s events has helped me to WINTER 2011 | WOW!

“Once I got past the ‘What is wrong with my life?’ ‘Am I doomed to be alone forever?’ types of thoughts, I started facing issues and began peeling off (and discarding) heartlayer after heart-layer. Painful does not fully describe the feeling.”

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understand and process thoughts, feelings and actions more clearly. My prayer is that I will be quiet enough in 2010 (and beyond) to hear EVERYTHING that the Father has to say to my heart, mind and spirit.

Decision-making tends not to be as agonizing as it was when I was in a crowd (or even in a two-some).

Brokenness typically follows close behind in the season of loneliness (or “aloneness”). Once I got past the “What is wrong with my life?” “Am I doomed to be alone forever?” types of thoughts, I started facing issues and began peeling off (and discarding) heart-layer after heart-layer.

Painful does not fully describe the feeling.

Just when you thought you were DONE, here comes another layer that needs to be stripped off and discarded, just like old, tattered clothing. He’s still working on me, you better believe it!

As the season of brokenness continues, humility, grace, patience, contentment (regardless of circumstances) and thankfulness are being developed and demonstrated. These positive traits become more easily lived out because they spill out unintentionally. The heart that was once hardened and encased is now broken and open; everything that is good pours out through the cracks. Others see the transformation before their eyes; some may feel “She’s been talking to someone” - and there is nothing wrong with seeking professional counsel

- but it’s so much more than that. Now I am beginning to see glimpses of who I can become and I have glaring images of who I am RIGHT NOW. I see the gap and I understand that the only way I can cross over from the Michelle of today towards the Michelle of tomorrow is to allow God to come into the deep, dark, painful recesses of my mind and heart and make His changes freely.

I pray that I will know how to forgive those who I feel wronged me, whether they actually did it or not.

I pray that I will be more disciplined and habitual in my spiritual walk; that I won’t wait to be prompted to pray, fast, meditate or review the Word of God. I pray that I will not wait to teach my son what I do know about the Word of God. I have a rich heritage; I need to pass that on without delay.

I pray that I will learn to love others again. “Love” (not real love, but I thought it was real) has brought me much pain; I want to love again, but the fear of being hurt and treated like dirt sometimes has me wanting to push it away. The real deal may be coming closer, but I know the heart-stripping will tear that fear away from me. I truly believe that God has a special gift in the form of a godly man somewhere out there; I pray I will be ready to receive his love.

I pray that I will believe in the gifts and talents that God has placed within me.

Sometimes I say to myself “Didn’t she/he say that beautifully? I wish I could speak or write like that.” “How I wish I was a soprano!” I now realize I may have insulted God with those words. He made us all unique; we have various audiences and lives we will all impact. How dare I think or say such things, when He made me the way that He did? He does not make mistakes!

I pray that I will become the ultimate servant. Serving God is tough, but I honestly believe that serving others is HARDER. No lie. Try doing things for people who do not appreciate the level of sacrifice you made on their behalf. See how quickly you will say “I LOVE serving others!”

As I stay on this path of self-discovery, praying, healing, learning, studying and teaching (i.e. mainly my son), I pray that I will become more solid in my mindset, more firmly planted in God’s truth, more radical in declaring my faith and more prepared than ever to serve others as I serve and worship my God. ©2011 Michelle Cameron has been writing reflectively for 3 years and has acquired a loyal following online. Her love for God and others shines through her thoughtful pieces. She is a dedicated single mother who is currently pursuing her MBA in Global Management while working full-time. When she is not writing or studying, she is busy reading, ministering on the church choir and supporting others.

Donna Richardson Joyner

Continued from Page 21

when you are out there, my husband and I fully know what it is to serve because people can listen to his show or buy my videos on tv, but you have to be out there with the people –empowering them, encouraging them, energizing them and hugging and kissing them...you know that’s what we do every week we are out there. When do I find time to crochet? Every week or twice a week I’m on a plane so my downtime – part of my spiritual feeding besides going to my church, The Potter’s House, with Bishop T.D. Jakes who has poured into me and I’m ever grateful to him, my God! I’m a good student but he’s an amazing teacher!

So, when I’m not able to be there I get sent the sermon and when I’m traveling I get to listen to the sermon and crochet these beautiful love afghans for loved ones and those who inspired me and then in the last two

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years I’ve been making shawls for breast cancer survivors, so that’s my ministry while I’m traveling. So right now I have 12 more states to visit, I have 6 more countries, I have 2 more continents and about 8 more afghans.

CAP: Final comments...

DRJ: Don’t become a victim of your own health. We’ve all gone through a lot of things in our lives, and surely when you see the struggles and you see people hospitalized because they didn’t go to the doctor and now you’re at the funeral... I believe that if you know better, you’ll do better and that’s a part of my responsibility as a teacher, but the other part is that we have the power to change and we have to get dominion over our physical being. Once you take control over your body, which is your temple, you

can tackle everything else in your life, and you know that! Every step you take, you are stepping into your purpose which should be having a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Be faithfully fit and fabulous!

CAP: Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us and we will be praying for you and your ministry!

To purchase Donna’s new program Body Gospel go to www.bodygospelwow.com For more information on the President’s Active Lifestyle Challenge, visit http:// www.presidentschallenge.org/challenge/active/index.shtml Candie A. Price is Editor-in-Chief of WOW! Magazine, candieprice@wowmagazine.org

WOW! |WINTER 2011

Filoiann Wiedenhoff

The REAL Life of a Pastor’s Wife – Expectations WINTER 2011 | WOW!

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ne of the hardest lessons I ally I became over burdened and ill to the encourage someone else. Here they are as have learned as a pastors point I had no choice but to step back and follows: wife was the invisible but rest. Have you ever experienced the feel1. Live and seek to please God rather true reality of having ex- ing where you were striving in the flesh? than people. pectations. Expectations The more you reached out your hand the 2. Focus on Him and not on self or oththat come from the outside such as; family deeper the emptiness you experienced? The ers. members, church members and friends but Lord comforted me and spoke to my heart 3. In Christ we don’t need to prove ouralso from the inside; the internal expecta- during that time and helped me to realize selves but live to please God with gratitude tions one puts on themselves. I’m not sure that God never required me to do all these as a bondservant in love. which one is more harmful but I can assure things and that I chose to take them on 4. Apart from God we can do nothing. you from my own experience, they both can myself.

5. Let go of unrealistic expectations and be very damaging to your personal walk and God is so patient and gracious with His live in obedience to God’s Word. relationship with God if you allow expecta- children. He will allow us to strive in our 6. Receive Christ and you will receive tions to dominate or overwhelm your life. own power and our own strength until we God’s grace as sufficient and rest in Him. So how do I handle these expectations? finally come to the realization that apart There is nothing we can do to gain salvaAt first, I didn’t handle it well at all. In fact from Him we can do nothing. tion because Jesus has already done it. to be honest, I handled it wrong.

In reading this article do you There were times I felt people “I firmly believe my first and main find or perhaps someone you looked at me as though I didn’t do know struggles with people pleasministry and role is to be a Godly enough and to make it worse one ing or doing works for salvation person actually asked me what did I daughter of the King, wife and moth- rather than resting on God’s undo? As if caring and supporting my er to my husband and children and merited favor and grace? I hope husband in the church and taking this encourages any of you who as far as ministry is concerned any- may struggle with people pleascare of my two children were not enough. I also serve in other minthing outside of that would be con- ing or living under expectations istries that mostly take place behind know that God is for you and sidered secondary ministries that I to the scenes that people usually don’t desires that you put Him first and would do only if the Lord calls me to when you seek to please Him, rest see.

I firmly believe my first and main in His grace, walk in His Spirit do them.” ministry and role is to be a Godly and focus on Him you will be daughter of the King, wife and blessed. mother to my husband and children and as In the book of Galatians, Paul firmly I believe it is very important to remind far as ministry is concerned anything out- but gently rebukes the church of Galatia ourselves from time to time that God’s side of that would be considered secondary in His letter because many were trying to grace is sufficient for us for His strength ministries that I would do only if the Lord justify themselves before God and men by is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthicalls me to do them. requiring men to keep the law and observ- ans 12:9) When the Apostle Paul asked Unfortunately, slowly over time I al- ing certain traditions as part of their salva- God to remove his thorn three times the lowed those expectations and perhaps the tion rather than embracing the grace they Lord comforted Paul by telling Him that murmurings to affect me. I began to take were given by faith through Jesus Christ. His grace was sufficient for him. He was on more and more responsibilities that He boldly told them that as long as they also telling Paul that His grace was enough I didn’t need and over time it seemed as sought to please men they could not be a because that is what the definition for sufthough the more I did the worse I felt. I servant of God. Paul encouraged them that ficient is – it is enough. became weary and burnt out and before I Christ had set them free from the law and The question is…Is it enough for you? knew it, I was overwhelmed. they were no longer under the law that con- Truth be told; we can hear it, think it but It was then that I realized that I had al- demns but now they were under grace. the next questions is… do we really believe lowed my own expectations and the expec“For do I now persuade men, or God? it? Or do you find yourself constantly trytations of others to affect me in such a way Or do I seek to please men? For if I still ing to please God and people? Receive - that I found myself being consumed by pleased men, I would not be a bondservant Christ and you will receive His grace and what others were thinking of me and un- of Christ.” Galatians 1:10-NKJV by faith believe Him through His Word fortunately this led me to feel as though I I came to the humble realization that I when He says that His grace is sufficient needed to prove myself. My husband and I needed to repent from walking in the flesh for you because it truly is. are firm believers in Christ’s grace through and strife in people pleasing and also from We can rejoice and be glad for He who faith and not by works that no man should living under my own laws and expectations the Son sets free is free indeed! boast. So why did I struggle and go through and to start walking in His peace and rest. all this?

I have made the conscience decision with ©2011 Filoiann Wiedenhoff is a ministers wife, I became a people pleaser pure and God’s power to walk in His grace and His bible teacher and author. You can visit her website simple. In spite of the fact that I knew I life that He now lives in me and through at www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com. was already doing too much as it was; with- me. Through this experience I learned out hesitation I took on more and eventu- some valuable life lessons and I hope it will

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WOW! |WINTER 2011

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WOW! |WINTER 2011