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2012 DECEMBER
2012
Gontarski speaks about Samuel Beckett
FSU Spring Basketball preview
A meeting of the minds
www.TheYetiOnline.com Issue 11, December 2012
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The Yeti The Yeti
The
Yeti Monster Coverage.
Yeti Editorial Staff Editor in Cbief
Catalina Chiang
Managing Editor Finance Editor
Nicholas Cicale Armagan Gurbuz
News Editors
Letter from the Editor If the prophecies are correct, the issue you are holding in your hands may be the last thing you read before the world ends. As a cautionary method, we’ve included an interesting array of articles to keep you informed and entertained. In this issue, you’ll find details on medical advancements that hold the keys to the complete elimination the organ donors list, along with an interview with FSU’s own Professor Gontarski who speaks about his experiences meeting modernist writer Samuel Beckett. We’ve included an inside scoop on injuries in America’s favorite sport (football) and a headto-head debate featuring free-market capitalism and socialism. Hey we’re just trying to look out for you, and in the event that we’re all around for a little longer, it can’t hurt to take a second look.
Danielle Befeler At your service,
Taylor Rao Views Editors
Mary Fernandez
Catalina Chiang Editor in Chief
Perry Petruccelli Nick Alberico Arts & Life Editors
Maxwell Dickey Ella Schaefer Kelly Sawtelle
Sports Editors
Joel Bergholtz Andrea Villalba Shea McGlynn
Literary Editors
Ruwani Dharmakirthi Sara A. Beale
Photography Editors
Kristen Alberico Stacie Balkaran Meghan Fretto
Design Editor
Paul Rutkovsky Julianna Mercado
The Yeti operates only with the help of a dedicated staff of volunteer writers. We thank them for their hard work and support. If you’d like to get involved with The Yeti, e-mail fsuyeti@gmail.com or visit our website: www.theyetionline.com.
Want to Advertise with The Yeti? We love supporting local businesses and Tallahassee events. Contact us at fsuyeti@gmail.com for pricing and other information.
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The Yeti is a student-run, conversation-driven media outlet in Tallahassee that serves our readership by providing an alternative to corporately funded, commercial media. We publish in print twice a semester and online twice a week. We focus on providing new perspectives on current events and investigating under-represented and under-reported local issues. Our aim is to convey the voice of the community in hopes of sparking a dialogue between students and community members, and to create an educated exchange of information that will motivate our readership to be aware and active members of society.
Emily Skarda
Faculty Advisor Back Cover Artist
Mission
TheYetiOnline.com
Campus Progress works to help young people — advocates, activists, journalists, artists — make their voices heard on issues that matter. Learn more at CampusProgress.org.
The opinions expressed in the Views section are those of the writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of The Yeti itself.
Table of Contents
18 23 12 20 24 6 14 21 26 LIT 8 10 16 22 28 4
VIEWS
Football Dilemma
American Sitcoms
Rate My Professor
Sports Nutrition
The Fair
The Great Debate
Featured Athlete
Gontarski Interview
Best & Worst 2012
NEWS
End of the World
SPORTS ARTS & LIFE
Medical Advances
Crossing Antarctica
Basketball Preview
Online Dating
Featured Writer
Issue 11, December 2012
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The
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2012, it's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't always been real fun. This year had a few surprises up its sleeve, from election mayhem to a devastating super-storm, and it had us all asking the question "call me, maybe?" Here are The Yeti staff's picks for the best and worst 2012 had to offer.
OVERALL BEST
Emma Watson Joseph Gordon-Levitt WA, ME, MD vote for marriage equality Felix Baumgartner (Space Jumper) Gangnam Style
OVERALL WORST
Emma Watson’s acting Hurricane Sandy Miley Cyrus’s haircut Adam (MCA) Yauch of the Beastie Boys dies Amy Poehler & Will Arnett’s divorce Negative political campaigning No NHL
ANIMALS
BEST: WORST: Grumpy Cat Donald Trump
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MUSIC BEST: Rap Album: Food and Liquor 2 - The Great American Rap Album: Pt. 1 – Lupe Fiasco Rock Album: Babel - Mumford and Son Experimental: Dan Deacon - America Indie Album: Screaming Females – Ugly Mix tape: Royalty – Childish Gambino Song: Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye
TELEVISON BEST: Breaking Bad Game of Thrones Parks & Recreation Adventure Time Louie
WORST ALBUMS: Kiss - Carly Rae Jepsen Battleborn - The Killers Push and Shove - No Doubt Based on a T.R.U. Story - 2 Chainz
MOVIES BEST: Looper Moonrise Kingdom Cabin in the Woods The Avengers Argo
WORST: John Carter That’s My Boy Prometheus Battleship Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
WORST: Here Comes Honey BooBoo Two and a Half Men Napoleon Dynamite Animated Series Tosh.0
SPORTS BEST: US Women’s Olympic Team Brooklyn Nets Jerseys Lebron’s Summer FSU Men’s Basketball ACC Champions
WORST: “Tebowing” Patent Dwight Howard to Lakers Lance Armstrong Doping Penn State Scandal
MOST MEMORABLE POLITICAL MOMENTS Romneyisms: Big Bird, Binders full of women, 47% Tape Biden laughing at Ryan’s “malarkey” Karl Rove freaking out about Ohio after Romney loss Florida pulling a Florida
Issue 11, December 2012
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The End of the World
The Yeti
Danielle Befeler and Taylor Rao, News Editors
At the height of your next freak-out, take a deep breath and remind yourself that those worries might not matter in a few days. Alert the cutie in your lecture class that there’s not much time left to make a move, and while you’re at it, let your parents know you’ve opted out of registering for the spring semester. On December 21, 2012, The Long Count Calendar of the ancient Maya ends. Since those who created the calendar are long gone, humanity is only left with a few theories on what will happen on this day. For those who are curious or worried, a lot of these theories exist in the eternally dark hole of the World Wide Web. Among the major catastrophes predicted are pole shifts caused by various celestial events, a collision with Earth and another large object, a sudden detrimental flu pandemic, and an eminent alien invasion. Internet junkies worldwide have taken the liberty to make predictions of their own. They mention personal theories, preparation guides, and playlists for the end of the world. Dr. Robinson Herrera, an Associate Professor of History at Florida State University whose focus is Latin American culture and race, has been asked about Maya doomsday theories in the past. “I guess you have to look at it in the sense of the New Age movement,” said Dr. Herrera. “Theories like these have become really popular in the United States and Western Europe – this sort of exoticism of indigenous people.” Dr. Herrera blames author Erich Von Daniken for this doomsday concept. In Von Daniken’s book, Chariots of
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the Gods, he came up with Alternative Archeology movement. This movement is responsible for the idea that aliens interacted with the Maya, giving them supernatural power to predict the end of humanity. Von Daniken recently wrote the book Twilight of the Gods: The Mayan Calendar and the Return of the Extraterrestrials. According to his website, the book “meticulously investigates the mysteries surrounding the Maya calendar, its amazing connection to the Ancient Astronaut Theory and tantalizing information on the extraterrestrials prophetic return to Earth.” Dr. Herrera said members of the Alternative Archeology movement are “known as crackpots.” He explained that what most people believe to be the circular Maya calendar is actually an Aztec sacrificial stone. A complete version of the Maya calendar does not exist and their calendars were based on lunar cycles. Maya theories of time were completely different from today’s notions of time, which were based on Christian ideas of beginning and end. The Maya believed that the past, present and future all existed at the same
time, in different planes of existence. “Nothing ever ends,” said Dr. Herrera. “Everything is just a rebirth, and so death is a rebirth. There’s no sort of notion that something will end. There are only transitional periods, so the idea that something like the world will end is antithetical to everything the [Maya] believed.” Since the Maya believed that the future and the present were happening at the same time, they couldn’t possibly believe in the end of the world. That would mean they weren’t existing at that present time. Even then, their calendars were very different from ours today. Besides being lunar calendars, the Maya mathematical system is vigesimal, or based on sets of twenty. Ours is based on systems of ten. “That’s the funniest thing of it all. The day is actually based on the calendar we use. Allegedly, it’s December 21st, so we only have a few days left to have fun,” said Dr. Herrera. Herrera isn’t the only person who feels this way. Though it may come as a shock to many
On December 21, 2012, the world may, or may not, come to an end. The Yeti has you covered, debunking myths surrounding the doomsday predictions and providing you with survival tips courtesy of our editors. Whether aliens show up or not, you can be prepared.
...OR NOT? firm believers, some people can imagine a life beyond December 21st. Some students are not stocking up on canned goods and boarding up windows. “I think everybody is hyped up about it because it’s interesting, scary and fun to talk about the possibilities,” said Alexia Swanson, a freshman from TCC. “I think there will be a lot of fun parties to go to leading up to that day, but we’re still going to wake up the next morning and simply realize how entertained we are by this type of stuff.” Wellington Boyce, a sophomore student at TCC said he used to think the world might actually end. “Up until a year ago I used to believe it. But then once I sat down and thought about it, it seemed unlikely as I learned more.” “I don’t believe it,” said Ryan Farmer, a sophomore FSU student from DeLand, Florida. “The Mayan calendar doesn’t account for leap years, so it already would’ve happened.” As the date approaches, let’s hope they are correct. If not, we still have a week after finals to prepare for this event. “If it really does end, I’d be upset that I spent my whole life in school and only just got to college,” said Swanson. “Life’s gotten a lot more fun now, and I have so many ambitions for myself and for the world. I’m just starting to be a member of the world and I want to keep that going.”
Wear sunscreen (SPF10000). -Elly Schaefer Bring a sweater and update your iPod. -Shea McGlynn Put vodka in a Brita filter. -Sarah Beale Watch “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.” -Max Dickey and Kelly Sawtelle Get Twinkies. They’re indestructible. -Armagan Gurbuz Keep a compass for when the poles shift. Befriend the roaches. -Freeman Become friends with someone from the skeet-shooting team. -Perry Petruccelli Alcohol is not a substitute for water. -Catalina Chiang
Issue 11, December 2012
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Science
The Yeti
HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES, & TOES Autumn Rosencrantz, Staff Writer
MEDICAL ADVANCES IN TISSUE REPLACEMENT
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A group of researchers at the Laboratory for Tissue Engineering and Organ Fabrication at Massachusetts General Hospital are currently working on a method to help people, mostly injured army veterans, who have lost their ears. The researchers take tissue from patients and grow them on metal instruments, ensuring that the newly grown tissue take the proper shape for their human recipients. The structures can then, theoretically, be attached to a person’s body. Although this final step hasn’t been tested on humans yet, the researchers are working with rats, and should get the authorization to start applying this process to actual patients within the next year. “When I think about
what we have accomplished in the program, I think about how we can use our technology to create tissues that have cosmetic roles,” said Dr. Cathryn Sundback at the Massachusetts General Hospital Lab in a statement made regarding the new advances. “The most interesting near term one is replacement noses, which actually has a greater need than replacement ears. Noses are more subject to trauma. Ears are somewhat protected by being on the side of the head. Our technology could also be used on joints, like knee cartilage.” The future application of this research makes this technology so much more impressive than it already is. Due to the high demand for
kidneys on the organ transplant waiting list, scientists at Wake Health Hospital are making that kidney tissue type a primary focus on a machine that can “print” organs. This technology will probably be released in ten to twenty years. However, the possibility of making the organ donor list extinct is a heady one, and every time a new discovery is made along the way, the scientists offer it to commercial businesses to distribute to the public. FSU students are surprised, but hopeful about this new technology. Some students initially expressed unease by the idea of laboratory-grown flesh, but they became optimistic for the long-term implications of such developments. “The idea kind of freaks
me out, but the organ donor list is so long this could definitely be a good thing,” said Kelly Burton, an English major at Florida State University. Scientists from France and Spain worked together to create a full, human-sized skin surface from harvested skin cells. They are hoping to help people who suffer from severe burns and skin problems recover in as smooth a process as possible. Scientists took cells from individuals and injected certain catalytic chemicals into them to hasten growth. People in the future will have the opportunity to have lost limbs replaced with replicas. In a few years, the organ donor list could be obsolete, and fewer people could die from being unable to get the help they need. As these organs will be made from the patient’s own cells, there will be a smaller risk of the body rejecting the applied tissues. The advent of all these new medical technologies is exciting. They open many new doors, and have the potential to solve many serious problems faced by people suffering from medical issues today. Skin grafts could become easier and people suffering from burn accidents would see less scarring. The ethical debates about cloning humans to harvest their organs have the potential to disappear entirely, drastically changing what it means to be injured. Karen Richardson, the Communications Manager for the Wake Health Urology Department, answered a few questions about the process in a press document distributed by the department. The interview is featured on the right.
Q: A:
Can you walk me through the process of 3D printing living tissue so that an interested layperson would understand the basics of how it works? 3D printing is one strategy used at the Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine to engineer replacement tissues and organs. The basic idea is to print living cells – and the biomaterials that hold cells together – into a 3D shape. This organ or tissue structure would then be implanted into the body, where it would continue to develop. After implantation, the cells continue to develop and living tissue forms as the structure integrates with the body. Due to the body’s natural regenerative processes, new cells and tissue are constantly being formed, replacing the structure that was implanted.
Q: A:
How does this printer work?
Q: A:
The printer is designed to print organ and tissue structures using data from medical scans, such as CT or MRI. For example, data from a patient’s CT scan would be used to create a computer model of the organ or tissue that needs to be replaced. The printer has test-tube-like containers to hold cells, biomaterials, etc. The computer then guides the printer as it layer-by-layer prints the structure using these materials. In addition to cells and biomaterials, the printer can print proteins, growth factors and other liquids into the structure to help promote regeneration once implanted.
Can You Tell Us More about the kidney project? A current long-term project of our 3D printing team is to print a kidney structure that could replace the function of damaged or diseased human kidneys in the future. Of course, much work needs to be done before this research is ready for patients. The kidney project is based on earlier work, published in Nature Biotechnology, using cells and biomaterials to engineer a “miniature” kidney that was able to produce urine-like fluid when implanted in a steer.
Issue 11, December 2012
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ANTARCTICA
CROS SING
The Yeti
Monique Boileau, Staff Writer
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his past February, 33-year-old British explorer, Felicity Aston, crossed Antarctica alone, becoming the first woman to do so and the first person to cross using only skis and her own strength. Now, she is on tour speaking about her experience. Her lecture tour, “Alone in Antarctica,” tells the story of her 1,084mile trek and of the emotional and physical toll it took to reach the Hercules Inlet on the other side. “One of the most enjoyable aspects of expeditions is coming home and sharing the experience,” said Aston on her blog. Aston, an accomplished explorer, led a team to the South Pole in 2009, and in 2005, competed in the Polar Challenge, a race across northern Canada. Her Antarctic expedition was her first alone. Her most intense struggle was the solitude and mental toll of being alone in the inhospitable landscape for nearly two months. Temperatures below -40 degrees Celsius and hurricanespeed winds are not uncommon here, and frostbite, sunburn, and hypothermia are only a few of the many health hazards. Still, Aston was committed to her mission, and on November 25, 2011, she landed on the Ross Ice Shelf and
began her journey. Pulling two bags of essential supplies behind her, Aston spent the first week battling bouts of harsh weather. The next week, a snowstorm set her back an entire day, but learning that she had reached 4,000 followers on Twitter boosted her morale. Aston tweeted and phone-blogged, periodically sending updates and posting pictures throughout her journey. Crossing Antarctica alone meant that Felicity had to be on top of her health at all times. There was no one to help her if she was injured, pull her out of a crevice, or make sure she didn’t get lost in a blizzard. Missing a meal or forgetting to check her vital signs could be disastrous. After a month of skiing, Aston made it to the South Pole, where she stocked up on supplies and sleep before continuing on. She spent Christmas and New Years in the snow, each day becoming more difficult to face. “It became the biggest struggle of the whole trip,” she told CNN. “Every single morning, the first thing that struck me was, ‘Oh my goodness, I can’t do this, I don’t want to be here, I’ve made a terrible mistake.’ I realized that the real [trick] of this would not be how strong I was or how much experience I had, it would literally be getting out of that tent.”
News
It was difficult for Aston to go a day without bursting into tears. “Both men and women explorers cry,” said Aston. Arctic conditions do not discriminate. The main difference Aston has seen is in the attitude and confidence of men and women. “When I take a group of women out onto the cold environment,” said Aston, “their default position is ‘I can’t do this.” [With men, their] default position is “I know how to do this, I know exactly how to do this.”” Aston’s job is to help both women and men get over their inhibitions or stubbornness and support each other and finish the journey. Being completely alone for this journey made it all the more dangerous for Aston, not only physically, but mentally. Dr. Steven Pack, a researcher at the University of Hertfordshire, taught Aston a way to analyze her decisions by breaking down each emotion behind her thoughts. Dr. Pack studies the psychological issues and tactics used by athletes. He hopes that analyzing Aston’s podcasts will contribute to his research on the connection between physical and mental health and what motivates people to accomplish goals.
If loneliness and the stark, barren landscape of snow and sky weren’t enough to disorient her, Aston had to worry about hypothermia. If her body’s core temperature dropped, her organs would begin to shut down and her mind would start making irrational and life-threatening decisions. There was no one around to tell her if she was acting strangely or to stop her form making a fatal decision. At day 40, Aston began to go entire days without thinking at all. Her mind was empty as she walked across the frozen expanse, and it wasn’t long before she began hallucinating. After 59 days of braving the elements and her own mind, Felicity Aston reached the Hercules Inlet and became the first woman to cross the Antarctic alone. The Kapersky Lab team, the company who sponsored Felicity’s expedition, picked her up the next day and flew her home with the promise of a hot shower and red wine when she arrived. To Felicity Aston, this trip was about more than just breaking a record; it was about keeping the spirit and excitement of exploration alive and discovering what it takes to achieve ambitious goals.
Issue 11, December 2012
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The Yeti
RATE MY PROFESSOR
Ch ili Peppers, Smil ey Fa ces, and O t her N o n s en s i ca l Thi ng s Class registration. It’s amazing how much weight and stress those two little words can carry. With spring registration now in full swing for many colleges and students, those dealing with the horrors of the infamous Blackboard, find that registration is rarely a pleasant experience. The wait to talk to your advisor, the surprise registration stops and holds, those feelings of supreme anger or bliss when you get the last seat in that class you wanted, or your school’s registration system inevitably failing as it does every year- such fun, right? Despite all the horrors of registration there’s the period before that, the time when students are carefully plotting what classes they’d like to take and with what professors. Picking the right teacher is a serious deal. A wrong choice could leave you extremely overworked, bored, or even with an irreversibly destroyed GPA. With these things in mind, many students have turned to the wildly popular website, Rate My Professors, in an attempt to get the lowdown on the prospective horrors or delights that come with a professor. Students look to Rate My Professors for knowledge on “7,500 schools and over 14 million entirely student-generated comments and ratings.” RateMyProfessors. com is the highest-trafficked free
sum of “hot” or “not” ratings, with “hot” being is plus one and “not” a negative one. A chili pepper only appears if the total is positive. Joab Corey, an FSU economics teacher whose 4.9 overall rating puts him in the top 25 of all teachers, reflects on how he earned the high ratings and praise from his students. His response, “Well, I try to bring a lot of energy to class and I try to be the best teacher I can be. I’m very glad that students recognize all the work I put into teaching.” Although Professor Corey is flattered by the rating, he gives some advice on students who use the site, “I’d say go for it, but take it with a grain of salt. RMP provides an easier way for students to get knowledge about teachers, knowledge that students have always asked for even before RMP. From an economic standpoint, I’d like to think of RMP as the middleman that reduces transaction costs in providing students with information.” Revenge, attraction, or actual praise for a professor and a ridiculously skewed rating system create an unreliable opinion of some supposedly very good or very bad professors. If anything Rate My Professor should just be read for a quick, non-serious look at some of your school’s professors. Read and judge at your own risk.
:(
:|
:)
Smileys
site for researching and rating 1.7 million professors from colleges and universities across the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. Over 4 million college students each month are using Rate My Professors.” The main goal of this website is to be an aid to students in helping them decide which professors are the best for them. While it can be useful, there is a dark side to one of the Internet’s greatest databases on college teachers. Simply put, there are too many unknown elements that can unfairly skew one’s decision on prospective professors. Be sure to proceed with caution and an open mind. The sample size of responses is not a full representation of any school’s student body; it’s just a very vocal minority who decided to give their opinion. Ratings for professors can be written by anyone without the need for an account and even multiple times if desired. Even professors could potentially write their own ratings and without anyone knowing. Finally, there is the almighty chili pepper. The little chili pepper designates professors who are supposedly deemed “hot” (but everyone knows that Harrison Ford as Dr. Indiana Jones is the hottest professor of all time). The hotness rating is based on the
An Overall Quality rating of 3.5 to 5 is considered good (yellow smiley face). An Overall Quality rating of 2.5 to 3.4 is considered average (green smiley face). An Overall Quality rating of 1 to 2.4 is considered poor (blue sad face).
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Views Bridgette Balderson, Staff Writer
Florida State University
4.4 3.8 4.7
Overall School Rating
Professor Average
Condition of Libraries
4.3 4.4 4.3 Campus Location
Clubs & Events
Career Opportunities
Professors with the most ratings Ishkhan Grigorian, Mathematics 4.3 Overall Quality, 3.6 Helpfulness, 3.2 Clarity, 2.6 Easiness, Green Smiley, No Chili Pepper
Joseph Calhoun, Economics 257 Ratings 4.3 Overall Quality, 4.3 Helpfulness, 4.2 Clarity, 3.4 Easiness, Yellow Smiley, No Chili Pepper
*Joab Corey, Economics Only 69 Ratings yet has 4.9 Overall Quality, 4.9 Helpfulness, 4.9 Clarity 4.3 Easiness, Yellow Smiley, Chili Pepper Is #25 highest rated professor out of all professors on Rate My Professors
John Fradel, Geography 234 Ratings 4.2 Overall Quality, 4.1 Helpfulness, 4.3 Clarity, 2.5 Easiness, Yellow Smiley, No Chili Pepper
Funny Comments “His class was like milk, it was good for only two weeks.” “BORING! I did learn though that there are 137 tiles on the ceiling.” “You can’t cheat in this class because no one knows the answers.” “Instant amnesia walking into this class. I swear he breathes sleeping gas.” “It hurts to be in this lecture. Run far, far away.”
“He reminds me of a disgruntled shopping mall Santa.”
Issue 11, December 2012
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POLITICAL
The Yeti
Free-Market Capitalism
THE GREAT John Maynard Keynes
Economic Issues/ISSUES/RECESSION Recession Recovery ECONOMIC RECOVERY
FREEMAN: In a capitalist society, economic issues are dealt with and fixed by the free-market. This means that in a truly laissez-faire model, the value of currency, wages, prices of goods, etc. are all determined by the people who make up the economy. If a good is too expensive, people will not buy it. The producer is receiving a signal from the consumer that the good is not affordable. The firm has to change the price if it wants to stay in business. As you can see, the information the firm receives is very important. Without it, the firm has no way of knowing if the price it is charging is too expensive, not expensive enough, etc. In a free-market model, this information travels quickly and freely. In a centrally planned economy (in this case, socialist) this information is distorted. Since the state owns the means of production, a bureaucrat makes decisions on how much is needed, based solely on his judgment. To recover from the recession, a capitalistic country needs to discourage “regime uncertainty,” simplify the tax code, and minimize federal spending, especially supposed “stimulus” spending. Once input costs for firms fall, they can begin to hire more people. With more people spending, we can create an invigorated economy, with no hyperinflation necessary.
FREEMAN: The current education system is not working. The taxpayers are throwing more and more money at our school system each year and yet the United States is lagging behind other countries. How do we return to our former glory as the undisputed king of education? Ideally, the best way would be to remove public schooling altogether, but there is too much invested in it to pull out now. A voucher system, however, is an option that is both easily adoptable and extremely beneficial. It would give parents the option of choosing which school they want their children to go to, encouraging competition amongst the schools. Bad schools with bad teachers need to make changes. Should they continue to perform poorly, students and parents will naturally prefer the better schools and thus, the poor performing school will not receive money from the vouchers. They will run out of business and a new school with better teachers will replace it. This encourages intra and inter-school competition. More is asked of teachers, which means students will excel.
HEALTHCARE
FREEMAN: In a truly capitalistic society, every decision a person makes should be voluntary, barring violation of the law. Therefore, no one should be forced to purchase health insurance, and no one employer should be forced to provide healthcare insurance for its employees. Private charities take care of those who truly cannot provide for themselves. Because the government is providing healthcare at the cost of the taxpayers, government spending “crowds out” private healthcare spending, and increases the price. Less people can afford private healthcare, which is the opposite effect of what was intended. This is a common theme with government bureaucrats: their intentions are good, but the outcome leaves us worse off than before.
FREEMAN: Hard-capitalism advocates for other forms of resolution before war. War should be the last resort, and only to protect the United States and its constituents. War should not be used as a tool to further agendas, as doing so costs trillions of dollars. Crony-capitalists love the prospect of war because they have a cozy relationship with government in the form of the military-industrial complex. The politicians go to war at the cost of billions of dollars and countless lives, both American and otherwise. The military-contractors make money selling tools of war. The companies making the money then donate extremely large sums of money to the politicians when they run for reelection. It is a despicable and unethical practice that is nonetheless prevalent in our government today. True capitalists, however, advocate for good relations with as many countries as possible so trade is a viable option. Trade leaves both parties better off and results in increased wealth and prosperity on both sides.
Nicholas Freeman is an applied economics major at TCC and will be dual-enrolling at FSU in the spring. He is active with the FSU College Libertarians, and enjoys reading books about politics and Austrian-school economics. His role models are Thomas Jefferson, Milton Friedman, and Murray Rothbard. He is a sports enthusiast who records a music podcast in his leisure time.
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Views
SMACKDOWN vs. Socialism
DEBATE! Adam Smith Editor’s Note: The Yeti is running this article as a forum for two opposing political voices to be heard, giving both a say on current issues in our modern political realm. Gabriel Paez will be writing from the perspective of Socialism and Nick Freeman will be presenting the perspective of Free Market Capitalism. The views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of this magazine.
PAEZ: The economy does not belong to the people, but instead to a minority ruling class which owns the means of production. Socialism advocates the simple idea that means of production, like factories and workplaces, should belong to those who actually work them, and should be owned collectively. Currently, the majority is forced to expropriate the profits of their labor to tiny segments of the population. Such massive accumulations of wealth are part of the Capitalist design, meant to further private interest even if those interests are diametrically opposed to the interest of the majority. With the advancement of Free Trade, private interest has been implementing a de facto dictatorship over the global masses. Multinational corporations, using the IMF as their tool, have the power to implement “structural reforms” in third world nations with no democratic input what so ever. As a result, countries like Uganda, which still suffer debt and poverty trailing from a long legacy of colonialism, are forced to privatize healthcare markets, lower minimum wages, raise school fees, and cut food and fuel subsidies to their heavily impoverished populations. This is the recipe for Capitalist development globally. Throw democracy and popular demand over the wayside to pave the road for corporate profit and private investors.
EDUCATION
PAEZ: As Capitalism creates such monstrous disparities in wealth, it should be no surprise that the US suffers from a massive education gap. Our dropout crisis is closely correlated to racial oppression and income inequality. In the urban, mostly Black center of Baltimore, only 34.6% of high school students will graduate compared to their mostly white peers in the suburbs, of which 81.5% graduate. Contrast this picture to that of Cuba, a significantly poorer country, with limited access to resources. Their national graduation rate is 99.1%, blowing the US out of the water. Although most of the population is poor, their economy allows basic human needs to be met, which translates into free education from day care to Ph.D. If an economy were created in which vast portions of the population did not need to slave away for the profits of another, education, and thus success, would no longer be contingent on social class, but instead on personal initiative.
PAEZ: Free and universal healthcare is a pillar of the Socialist model, in which all citizens are, by law, guaranteed access to medical care. Currently, although the US is the richest country in the world, about 48.6 million Americans have no access to healthcare. These figures say something about our priorities, as we’re projected to spend 1.4 trillion dollars in defense spending alone in 2012. It is clear that private markets are unable to guarantee universal coverage, because insuring certain people simply does not pay off to private corporations. The healthcare industry has such a mortal grasp on policy, that a democratic administration and congress were unable to pass a single-payer system, and thus leaving the US to be the last industrialized country in the world without a universal healthcare system.
DEFENSE
PAEZ: Under a Socialist model, policy is shaped by popular demand, and not private interests. The United States has a long history of military interventions, and support for brutal dictatorships. This is because Capitalism requires open and unopposed access to global resources, and any opposition or hurdle to such is to be defeated politically, economically or militarily. Our long history of imperialism is a direct result of corporate interest and the ever expanding military industrial complex. Capitalism has created a gigantic market for weapons, bombs, private militaries, and advanced military technologies, all paid to private corporations via government contracts that are assured by lobbyists who fund political campaigns, and keep the US in a constant state of war. Unfortunately, war pays, and as long as profit is the only thing that matters, we will continue to be warmongers.
Gabriel Paez is a senior at FSU, double-majoring in Creative Writing and Political Science. He is also enrolled in the Global Pathways program, with a focus on international development. Gabriel is a social activist; he is director of Students for Justice in Palestine, as well as an active member of the Center for Participant Education, which is one of the few Free Universities left in North America. He hopes to become an English teacher in under-served schools and work his way towards becoming a professor on the university level.
Issue 11, December 2012
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2012 - 2013 The Yeti
W
hat do Taylor Swift and Coach Leonard Hamilton have in common? Michael Snaer listens to both of them before games. While Ian Miller chooses Kendrick Lamar’s “Swimming Pools” and Okaro White gets pumped-up with Future’s “Double Cup and Molly,” the unquestioned
MEN’S BASKETBALL PREVIEW The Yeti sits down with the basketball team to talk about new players, veteran roles, and their quest for another ACC Championship Nicholas Cicale, Danielle Befeler, Kelly Sawtelle Managing Editor, News Editor, Arts and Life Editor
leader of the Seminoles Men’s Basketball team didn’t hesitate when saying he listens to Swift’s “Our Song” during his pregame warm-ups. Clearly, music by T-Swift works for Snaer. As a junior last year he led the team to the school’s first ACC Championship, averaging 18 points in the tournament and earning tournament MVP. The Florida State Men’s Basketball team starts the 2012-13 season ranked in the top 25 in both the AP and USA Today polls for the first time in school history. Even though the team had a handful of starters graduate from last season, the new freshmen have already made Florida State history. With two incoming players taller than seven feet, Florida State currently has one of the tallest teams in college basketball. “We’re rejuvenated. We got a lot better over the summer. We have a group of young guys who are really talented,” said junior point guard Ian Miller. “It’s going to be a real special season.” Last season, the team dominated ACC play, defeating powerhouses Duke and North Carolina twice. They also won a lot of close games down the stretch, thanks to clutch shooting by Snaer, who led the NCAA in game winning buzzer beaters last year. “I think we’ll be back to where we were last year as far as the level of competitiveness and the defense and offense,” said senior guard Michael Snaer. “Hopefully, in the middle of the season, towards the end of the season, we’ll be even better. We won so many games last year that it gives us that confidence. We can play with anyone in the country and that’s what we’re excited for. We love to compete. We love the opportunity we have to go out there and defend the ACC Championship. That’s what it’s all about.”
Fresh Faces
Junior guard Ian Miller drives down the lane to score a basket against the South Alabama Jaguars on opening night.
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This season the Seminoles have added six new players. What the team lost in talent, they gained in height. Boris Bojanovsky, a freshman recruit from the Slovak Republic, is the tallest player in Florida State Basketball history, towering in at 7’ 3”. Bojanovsky is undoubtedly a player to keep an eye on, which shouldn’t be too difficult. His ability to plant in the paint and defend the basket will be a massive contribution to FSU’s defense.
Sports “The young guys that we have, the 7-footers and all, are going to be helping us on the Block-Shot Committee,” said Michael Snaer. “I think Boris could be one of those guys and we’re working with Ojo. I think those trees will help us come March Madness.” Nigerian-born center Michael Ojo only played in 15 games in his Tennessee high school career, but the 7’1” athlete is a physical specimen, weighing in at 290 lbs of pure muscle. While his lack of experience caused him to go widely unnoticed by scouts, his size and athletic ability give him the potential to be a huge impact player. Coach Hamilton is working on getting these new players into the system early on in the season. “We took advantage of the exhibition games by getting some guys who have never played at this level on the floor, and giving them a chance to get a better understanding of what it takes to perform at this level,” said Head Coach Leonard Hamilton. “Boris is playing at a new pace he isn’t used to. Ojo’s only played 15 games in his career. We have an unusual situation where we have six or seven guys that we are trying to let learn our system better. It’s a learning process.” Four-star recruit Montay Brandon also hopes to contribute this season. Since so many new athletes are playing important roles, fans may be concerned about the team’s cohesion and performance as a unit. “There’s going to be a learning curve for the new guys but we can get it done. These guys are bright, smart, athletic, talented young players and they can pick up really quickly,” said Michael Snaer. “We love to compete. We love the opportunity we have to go out there and defend the ACC Championship. That’s what it’s all about.” – Michael Snaer
Returning Stars
Last season’s regulars Bernard James, Luke Loucks, Xavier Gibson and Deividas Dulkys all graduated over the summer. This season, Michael Snaer is the only familiar face left in the starting lineup and
is now the defacto leader of the team. “Last year, I had a lot of responsibility as one of the leaders on the team,” said Snaer. “Even with the guys coming in, we still have a lot of veterans here. I’m really confident in the players we have. I’m confident we can go out there with the spark that we have and get the job done.” Juniors Okaro White and Ian Miller hope to fill some of the other vacancies. Miller is getting used to more point guard playing time and White will have a bigger presence on the court. They will not only be talented starters, but a much needed veteran presence for a young team. “Being a junior now, I’ve had to step into a leadership role,” said junior forward Okaro White. “That’s a tough role coming from my freshman and sophomore year. I had guys like Bernard James and Luke Loucks in front of me. But now, stepping into my junior year, I’ve embraced my leadership role and I’m excited for it.” Junior forward Terrance Shannon is back from an injury that held him out for most of last season, where he was very efficient in his limited work. “I’m very comfortable that Michael and Okaro are where they need to be,” said Coach Hamilton. “Ian needs to improve his defense, Terrance hasn’t played in a year, he’s playing well but there’s conditioning and an adjustment with him coming back to the top of his game, back to the way he was.” “As far as chemistry, I think we’re always going to be close,” said White. “The older guys like me and Mike, Ian and Terrence, we’ll be close on and off the court.” After an amazing 2011-12 season, the Seminoles Men’s Basketball team has a lot to prove. The veterans are stepping into their leadership roles, while in the process helping the freshmen find their place on a largely revamped team. Coach Hamilton points out that they still have a long way to go, but Snaer, White, and Miller are confident that this will be a year in which the Noles hang another ACC championship banner.
Arts & Life
Issue 11, December 2012
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The Yeti
The Football Contemplating Injuries in America’s Most Dangerous Game Katie Avagliano, Contributing Writer
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Sports
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n October 5th, 2012, high school football player Ronald Rouse died on the football field in South Carolina. It was later reported that the lineman had an irregular heartbeat, a condition that was aggravated by the intensity of the game. Rouse is not the first high school athlete to die as a direct result from playing football. This past summer, five high school students from southern states collapsed and later died after overexerting themselves in the heat and humidity of August two-a-day practices. In less than twenty years, forty high school football players have died of heat stroke— deaths that could be prevented by taking a few simple measures— like practicing without pads in the heat of the day and having cooling devices available to players. Unfortunately, most
that coaches know what they’re doing, and have the player’s interest at heart. But pushing players, especially young players who are too intimidated push back, isn’t a good teaching method. When coaches allow and encourage boys to play on injuries, a line has been crossed from treating the sport as a game and treating it as a be-all, end-all to prove masculinity. “Coaches need to pay attention to the athletes they put on the field,” said Vanessa Michel, a sophomore Sports Management student at Florida State. “They need to know the signs of major injuries.” The insensitivity to injury is not just in high school football, but also in all levels of play. Somewhere along the way, sports sections of newspapers began carrying the now-ubiquitous “Injury Report” along with the stats of
heard from the time they were playing in Pop Warner leagues: quitting once means you’ll quit all your life, injuries make you tough, and sucking up pain makes you a man. How else do you explain how players with serious injuries, like Peyton Manning sustaining a blow to the neck in the 2011 season, do everything they can to get back in the game? Doctors are now suggesting no football, or at least no tackle football, until the age of 14. Lauren Goldberg, an FSU freshman majoring in athletic training sees the dilemma at play. “[It’s] a hard one to call,” said Goldberg. “On one hand, would it be safer? All the science points to yes, it’s safer to wait until the brain is fully developed. On the other hand, it’s hard to quit football. It’s hard to tell a little kid that he can’t play the game he wants to. But if we can’t make football
players won’t stop practicing if they start feeling the symptoms of heat stroke, which can range from headaches to dizziness to nausea. Football is a sport of macho-toughness, and is a contest of stamina. As a result, quitting simply because it’s hot is considered “wimping out,” and disappoints coaches and parents alike, as well as other teammates who are going through the exact same workout. Coaches and role models frequently yell mantras like “no pain, no gain” and “pain is just weakness leaving your body” and “no blood, no glory.” With this kind of rhetoric spewed in practices and games, it’s easy to see why boys playing football are hesitant to step out of the game, even when they recognize dangerous symptoms. A sport in today’s world is considered a rite of passage and a national pastime. Players don’t second guess when they are told to practice in the August heat, or soon after an injury, and they are rewarded for their toughness. This attitude has become an acceptable part of the sport, and it’s assumed
weekend NFL games. Twice a week, once Wednesday and once Friday, teams have to report the status of injured players. In no way is this to protect players working with concussions or torn ACLs—this practice is used strategically, minimizing or maximizing injuries so opposing teams don’t know who exactly they’re playing against, and how well they’re going to be. General Managers for Fantasy Football teams switch their rosters around depending on this report. Bookies give odds based on them. The problem here is that players aren’t out of the season long enough to get well; they stop playing until the moment they are well enough to get back in the game. So why risk serious, permanent injury, when it’s been proven that former NFL players have higher risks of dementia and memory loss as the result of multiple concussions, just to keep playing a game? While some of it can be tied to the milliondollar contracts professionals receive, a lot of it has to do with those speeches athletes have
safer, if we can’t make it so that kids don’t die on the field, this game is not going to be around a century from now.” Football is a game loved for its speed and ferocity. It is a game that is made up of its hard hits, screaming coaches, roundabout sacks, and huge pileups in the middle of the field. But the rules must change to protect its players. The game has to adjust. Head injuries are fatal and an estimated 43,000 to 67,000 players endure a concussion during every high school football season. Prevention of this goes back to coaches, many of whom don’t answer to a large governing body and have never received the proper training to spot concussions. If coaches took more time examining players, they’d be able to spot the irritability and fatigue that are often the first symptoms of concussions. “Coaches need to care. That’s really the bottom line. A coach responsible for the wellbeing of these child athletes has to be their health advocate at all times,” said Michel.
Dilemma
Issue 11, December 2012
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NUTRITION IN SPORTS
The Yeti
The Figg: the official dining hall of FSU athletes
Amanda Perez, Staff Writer
Eating healthy plays a hefty role in deciding the outcome of every game, match, tournament, or practice. So how does Florida State ensure its athletes are eating right? The Figg Dining Hall at Doak Campbell Stadium is the official dining hall for FSU athletes. The Figg offers a variety of healthy fruits, a full salad bar, Boar’s Head deli meat, and is also home to the infamous “Fried Chicken Fridays,” when the chefs prepare a delicious honeybattered fried chicken for lunch. Do not let “Fried Chicken Fridays” fool you into thinking The Figg is as unhealthy as other eateries on campus; it offers a variety of healthy foods accompanied by signs displaying how the food affects the body. Chef Joyce C. Simonds, who has worked at The Figg for a year, explains how she works with Seminole’s athletic dietician, Kristen Gravani. “After I write the menus, I send them to her and then we’ll talk about any questions that she might have. At lunch we’ll try out more things that we might not try at dinnertime because the whole student population can come during lunchtime.” During lunchtime, The Figg is more liberal with its food choices, aiming to please both athletes and ordinary students alike. Chef Simonds explains how she and her colleagues at The Figg choose the menu: “We always have two vegetables, two starches, and we always do a chicken. Some people, for religious reasons, don’t eat pork or fish, so we always have a chicken. We try to be different every day, because a lot of people eat here every day. We don’t repeat entrees for at least five weeks, so you’ll see the same entrée only twice a semester.” This combination of food yields a healthy and sustainable diet for an athlete. Sophomore Seminole tennis player, João Gauer, a regular at The Figg says, “The salad bar and fruits are great, and essential to any
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athlete’s diet. The fried chicken and pizza on Friday’s aren’t so healthy, but it’s nice to reward yourself with a delicious meal every now and then.” The Figg presents food labeled with “Build,” “Fuel,” or “Protect.” These cues help hungry athletes choose the right combination of foods in one meal. Diagrams on the walls explain which foods are beneficial to certain parts of the body. This can be extremely helpful for an athlete while training. While The Figg provides the right kinds of food and efficient tools for creating a nutritious diet, senior FSU football player Jacobbi McDaniel explains that utilizing the tools provided at The Figg for a nutritious diet is difficult in a college environment, “It’s hard eating healthy in college because in high school you’re used to eating whatever you want, which includes a lot of fast food, and it’s hard to get rid of those cravings.” McDaniel explains that even though it can be tough, eating right is a necessity because it directly impacts athletic performance, “If you don’t get the right food to fuel your body, your body will wear down and you won’t be able to perform to your full potential.” Chef Simonds offers a compromise when cooking meals at home. She says, “Some of the athletes still want to eat chickenfried steak, so we replace some of the ingredients for healthier alternatives. Use whole wheat flour and lighter cream, and it’s a little bit of a win-win.” Chef Simonds offers unique healthy recipes for athletes on www.seminoles.com, like the Gluten-Free Fried Chicken featured. While The Figg Player’s Dining Hall provides the tools necessary to construct a nutritious and delicious meal plan, the choice is always left up to the individual. Maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle while living in the college atmosphere is a difficult but necessary task for college athletes who must meet demanding expectations to perform at their best.
Gluten Free Fried Chicken 2 pounds Chicken, (you can use cut chicken or boneless skinless) 1 cup gluten-free all purpose flour blend 1 cup cornstarch 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon granulated garlic 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 teaspoon cayenne powder 8 ounce bottle of lemon lime soda Oil for Frying Portion = 2 pieces Calories: 588 Fat: 37 Protein: 38 Carbs: 23
Sports T H E
Y E T I ’ S
F E A T U R E D
A T H L E T E
AMANDA SAXTON S A N D
V O L L E Y B A L L
Kelly Sawtelle, Arts & Life Editor The Seminoles Sand Volleyball team will begin their second season in the Spring of 2013. Senior Amanda Saxton, serves as a women’s sand volleyball team captain. “I’m the liaison between Coach and our teammates, especially with the SAAC. I really just try to be a role model and set an example for them and let them know the protocol of what we have to do. We have seven new freshmen girls this year and it was really cool to welcome them and be someone that they could talk to.” Demonstrating leadership qualities is an important role for Saxton, and for FSU athletics in general. Florida State introduced sand volleyball last year as its newest sport. Originally women’s volleyball was only offered as an indoor sport, but now the sport has branched out into two separate, but equally powerful entities. Sand volleyball is considered an emerging sport, and must gain 40 programs throughout the country to be recognized by the NCAA Championship committee. “It was so cool to be a pioneer for the first sand volleyball season, because we’re starting the foundation for a legacy here,” said Saxton. FSU sand volleyball is managed by a married dynamic duo, assistant coach Brian Corso and head coach Danalee Corso, who was the first full-time sand volleyball coach in the nation. The coaches inspire athletes like
Saxton to perform at their best. Surrounded by such motivating leaders, Saxton has blossomed into not only an excellent player, but also someone who wants to pursue a career making a difference in the lives of students. “I just love the college years, and I really want to help other people grow as I have grown,” said Saxton. When Saxton isn’t practicing her sport, she volunteers around Tallahassee, participates in a variety of extracurricular activities, and works towards her communications degree. There are a couple of drastic differences between indoor volleyball and sand volleyball. The transition from hard gym floors to loose sand can be physically demanding for some players, and adds a new dimension of athleticism to the sport. Not to mention the outdoor elements that the players are governed by, like playing in various climates and wind conditions. The number of players on the court differs. Indoor volleyball is six on six, while in sand volleyball there are only two players on either side of the net, making every bump, set, and spike contingent on impressive one-on-one communication. Saxton, who originally played indoor, has enjoyed the switch to sand volleyball
especially the mental aspect of the sport. “You’re touching the ball more, so you really have to be that much more focused, and not let any point get to you,” said Saxton, “because you can come back even if you’re down.” It is that same strong mental character that guides her as a role model in the community. Amanda Saxton has proven herself as a clutch player and a successful communicator and leader on the sand, while showing she has the maturity it takes to lead off the court in the form of giving back to the community, and embracing college’s many available extracurricular activities.
More Than Just an Athlete Besides playing sand volleyball for FSU, Amanda Saxton is a member of the Student Athlete Advisory Council (SAAC), the Wesley Foundation Campus Ministry, Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA), and the FSU Honors program. Saxton is passionate about giving back to the community, making it a priority in her life, and believes that student athletes have an influence in the community. Her goal is to use her platform to inspire her teammates, coaches, and peers to join her in doing community service.
Issue 11, December 2012
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ONLINE DATING Elly Schaefer, Arts & Life Editor
Romantically Navigating the Information Superhighway L
ast school year, I had a boyfriend for eight months, and it was great. But then he moved. After learning that so much of the positivity in my life came from my relationship, I needed to find a way to bring that back. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy to just meet someone at FSU who was outright looking for more than just “a good time” so when a friend of mine suggested online dating, I was incredibly skeptical. We’ve all seen those TV shows that show people getting abducted and murdered, but my friend assured me that those are rare circumstances in which people didn’t behave as smartly as they should have, or they were just fictional stories made for TV. So, I did it. I signed up for OkCupid that night and I was pleasantly surprised with my results. Not only did I not get any creepy or scary matches, but I got a lot of guys who seemed genuinely interested in who I am and my hobbies--which is a lot nicer than having a drunken mess hit on you at a party. Many of the things we do in life revolve around the need to obtain a significant other. From wearing perfume to going to the gym, so much more than we realize is done simply to attract someone else. According to a study done by Dr. Joel Sneed, a professor of Medical Psychology
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at Columbia University, intimacy is key to our psychological well-being throughout our adult years, which he defines this as college through midlife. Among the stresses of school and family, it has been tested that those who are in stable relationships are more satisfied with their life overall. Consumed by our studies and overwhelmed by 42,000 similar students, it is not easy to simply find a potential partner with matching interests and activities who is also looking for the same kind of relationship you are. Often times, college students get trapped in hookups, which as most of us probably know, rarely result in relationships and almost always result in misunderstandings and getting hurt emotionally. All of this is what makes online dating a necessity for our age group. If you’re one of the many looking for more than just a one night stand after a drunken night of partying, online dating sites allow you to provide your most basic information and will find these potential partners for you. With our admittedly lazy college kid behavior, we should be thanking Cupid for something so simple. Although I had a successful experience with online dating, many still fear that they will not. Match.com’s safety tips stress that, just like anyone you meet off
the internet, you must exercise caution when meeting people online. If you block suspicious users, meet with matches in public places, and practice basic common sense, you will have a safe and fun experience with online dating. However, dating in real life can be just as dangerous as dating online. Not knowing a person you go on a date with will always create fear or suspicion, but don’t let that stop you from going on a date with someone. In this scenario lies an even greater advantage for online dating: far before a date occurs, you can evaluate whether the relationship will be worth pursuing. Simply by looking at someone’s profile you can tell if a date with them could potentially be interesting and worth your time. Overall, I was incredibly satisfied with my experience and I feel that it defied the stereotypes of online dating. Unfortunately, this prejudice against dating sites is detrimental to the great potential they have for us. If every single person who reads this goes on a site like OkCupid and gives it a try, this could give other people of our generation the little push they need to see past the stereotypes of online dating. After all is said and done, it shouldn’t be about how you met someone; it’s that you ever got to meet them at all.
Arts & Life
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his generation is overwhelmed with consumers wanting what is new and wanting it now. However, television network CBS is looking to capture viewers from a different angle: nostalgia. From remaking brilliant movies to trying to bring back leg warmers, we seem set on reliving the past. This infatuation creates an interesting dynamic for sitcom writers trying to keep up with viewers’ constantly changing interests. As a result, the entertainment industry is bending to the will of the masses. CBS has bought the rights to a new sitcom, unfortunately titled, Smells Like
be cancelled before the end of its first season. Part of the answer lies in the writer, Dave Goetsch, who has claimed fame with the majorly successful sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. Recently, the traditional sitcom has seen a steep decline in viewership. No longer are shows like Friends and Seinfeld dominating ratings. Stiff competition from reality TV and game shows revolving around America’s “talent” have found a way to capture the nation’s approval in ways that have nearly destroyed sitcoms. CBS hired Big Bang’s Goetsch because he has been able to reach major success with
The main factor behind this ridiculous pitch for a sitcom seems to lie with us, the viewers. Why are we so obsessed with trying to recreate the past? Is the entertainment industry simply trying to cater to this compulsion? “Sitcoms these days try so hard to seem revolutionary in their selfrighteous renditions of past glories,” said Florida State University freshman Emily Burns. “They’re trying to seem cooler for a generation that has become obsessed with up-rooting the past and reliving it in the present age. They’re trying to appeal to hipsters.”
CASHING IN ON NOSTALGIA The Decline of the American Sitcom
Alyssa West, Contributing Writer
Teen Spirit. The sitcom is named after one of the biggest hits of the 90s, from Nirvana’s breakthrough album, Nevermind. According to CBS, the show is set to follow a teen that “forgoes Harvard and instead opts to launch a multi-billion dollar Internet company from his garage with the assistance of his sister, best friend, and 1990s indie-rock parents.” Before we let out a collective groan, it should be noted as to why a network like CBS would pick up a show that seems destined to
the Emmy-nominated show. Big Bang is going into its fifth season, so there’s no denying that Goetsch knows how to cull together an audience, and CBS is banking on him to produce another hit. This is not CBS’s first attempt at creating a show inspired by an outside source. Remember that William Shatner show, $#*! My Dad Says? Somehow that show lasted 18 episodes in its first and only season, and that sitcom was based off a popular book and Twitter account. Sorry, Captain Kirk.
We are partially to blame for this show and the current state of sitcoms in general. The entertainment industry caters to us as viewers; it reflects who we are. It’s clear to us that the past had its perks, but this wave of nostalgia seems like a cynical cash grab. If CBS wants to keep the sitcom from dying off while simultaneously fulfilling our desire for those warm feelings of nostalgia, perhaps they should take a look at the much loved, but short-lived Freaks and Geeks for some real inspiration.
Issue 11, December 2012
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ENCOUNTERS AT THE The Yeti
Catalina Chiang, Editor in Chief
Across the sparsely lit field, the skeletons of metal titans lie quiet in slumber awaiting their call to life. Tomorrow will be another test of strength and stamina, where regional spectators will gather amongst the beasts and bright lights in search of nostalgia and entertainment. Weaving their way through the shadows, are the faceless bringers of life, preparing for the sun to rise and set again. Every year the state fair provides a retreat to childhood through an appeal to sensory enhancements as the holidays draw nearer. It is a comforting mesh of primary colors, blinking signs, blaring voices, and the aroma of all things fried. The fair, which has been present in U.S. culture since 1841, was originally an annual agricultural exhibition. With the shift from an agrarian society to an industrial society, carnival amusement rides and games were later added. Today, this American tradition has been adapted to fit the form of contemporary cultural trends. But regardless of which region you are in, there are a few characters that you can expect to see at every fair across the county. Much like
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the “Family of the Saltimbanques” in Picasso’s Rose Period, they are figures that we have seen since the development of the carnival; they exist in curious isolation, psychologically withdrawn, existing on the margins of society.
The Spectator
“Next!” says the lady at the ticket booth. She eats an orange as she beckons for the next person in line. Juice and seeds are strewn on the counter where she collects cash and hands you a ticket for admission. From above comes the voice of the disembodied announcer who lists some of the characteristics of a lost girl. Even from the entrance, there is evidence of a curious fascination with the exotic. Most of the rides have names like Cobra, Cuckoo Haus, and Himalayan. At the far end of the fairgrounds, a Mexican food truck from Guadalajara sells cow tongues and tripe. Thai food trucks, shish kabobs stand with gyros, and trucks advertising lobster and fillet mignon for $15. These subtle reminders transcend the otherwise uncommunicative, empty landscape,
transforming a few acres of grassy fields into a lively international bazaar. The petting farm is in a barn set apart from the rides. For a dollar, fair-goers can purchase carrots to feed to the Nubian goats, zebras, camels, Scottish highland calf, alpacas, yaks, and Sicilian donkeys. In the Pygmy goat pen, the smallest goat stands on a metal turtle shell, declaring its victory. The contest roosters and chickens are lined up towards the back, where the vocal Chinese white geese squawk at those who venture too close. Vendor booths scattered between the rides are decorated with suspended animal hats, dream catchers, and handbags. If you are feeling adventurous, you can purchase a bra or underwear packaged in plastic. Mina the REAL LIVE Mermaid can be viewed at the back of the fair for a discounted rate of 50¢.
The Farmer
It is 8:15pm and dozens of fair-goers have climbed their way onto the bleachers marked Pork Chop Downs. Bundled up and excited they stare down at the one-lane track
Arts & Life
NORTH FLORIDA FAIR
before them in anticipation. The sign says that this will be the only pig race for the night. “We will get started in just a few snort moments,” says the dancing emcee after a recorded trumpet’s call to race. Meanwhile, slightly different versions of “Cupid Shuffle” and “The Cha Cha Slide” blare through the speakers and parents bounce their children on their knees to the beat. By 8:30, the emcee introduces himself and his larger and clumsier brother “Hambone” to the crowd. The pigs, numbered one to five, are lined up at the gates following a suspended oatmeal cookie. The emcee selects five audience members to cheer on individual pigs, with names like Hamma Montana, Lindsay Loham, and Taylor Not-So-Swift in the hopes of winning a prize. There are two more races that follow: the miniatures and the potbellies. As soon as the crowd leaves, the show’s two main characters are quick to pack up the set, switching out of the mode of their exaggerated show personas. Carrying a speaker to his trailer, Hambone reflects on his time in the pig entertainment business. Back stage, Hambone
runs the show. He has been working the pig races since 1989 when he learned the art from the experiences of his father and grandfather who also did pig entertainment. A few years ago, he trained his emcee to work with the animals too. Hambone and the crew are away from their hometown in Missouri for the 11-month stretch of January to November. The pigs are not his, but they belong to a company that books the shows at fairs and distributes the pay for the performances.
The Performer
The technology and innovations booth house is quiet on a week day. Its eclectic set-up includes everything from miracle zipper repairers and Arabic belly dancing. There is one table that is particularly attentive of the few passersbys that make their way into the booth. At the heart of the right aisle sits Ralph Copeland. He is a Baptist missionary that travels with his wife to fairs across the country in the hopes of providing salvation to unsuspecting fair-goers. He wears a checkered shirt with a sweater vest and a cowboy hat. Behind his gold
rimmed glasses, his eyes are a dim and hazy brown. If you pass by his table and look his way he’ll hand you 2”x2” miniature pamphlet with a smiley face on it that reads: Smile, God loves you. Copeland has to meet a quota of salvation for each of the fairs he and his wife attend. Here salvation is defined as listening to a few lines of the King James Bible, placing your hand on it and saying a prayer, then signing your name and address on a mail-in certificate. Perhaps this is what it felt like to be an indigenous South American being saved by European missionaries. The triangular flags that wave above the striped canopies that mark sacred grounds have been lowered and the grounds are quiet again. In a year’s time, the same sight and experiences will be available for purchase. This preservation of tradition builds off of the success of memory and the existence of ever present youth.
Issue 11, December 2012
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An Interview With
The Yeti
PROFESSOR GONTARSKI
on the Influence of Beckett Bi De Yang, Contributing Writer
Professor Stanley E. Gontarski teaches English Literature at FSU, focusing on Modernism, Irish Studies, and performance theatre. Gontarski received his Ph. D. from Ohio State University and wrote his dissertation on the works of Samuel Beckett, an Irish avantgarde novelist, playwright, theatre director, and poet. From 1989 to 2008, he was the editor of the Journal of Beckett Studies, proving his lasting influence on the topic of Beckett’s works. Discussing Beckett with Professor Gontarski brings to life what T.S. Eliot called the “present moment of the past” where for the first time, you get insight into a writer who you assumed was separated from you by the vast ravine called death. Meeting Beckett, an enduring figure of the modernist movement and one of the key writers in Theatre of the Absurd, would prove to be invaluable to his work. Beckett’s influence, Professor Gontarski’s work, and a desire to look into the everpresent past culminated in this interview.
YETI:
Before meeting Beckett, what was your impression of him, from reading his works?
S.E.G.:
At that time, when I first started reading him in the 1960s, he was part of a broad theatrical group of experimental playwrights. I didn’t focus exclusively on him or his works. I was looking at a lot of playwrights at the time and working with them in the theater, including Edward Ablee. What I knew about him was that he was closely associated with James Joyce and part of the Parisian avant-garde, as opposed to the New York avant-garde. I saw him in that context, as a participant of café life and the like, but I didn’t do any personality assessments, whether he was depressive or anything like that. I just found the work intriguing, where as frequently as you go back to it, you keep finding additional things, it gets deeper and richer. I would say Beckett very much contributed to my education, because what one had to do was follow up on the allusions, philosophers and the linguists.
YETI: Sort of like what T.S. Eliot began. S.E.G.:
The same would be true of T.S. Eliot, but I stayed with Beckett longer
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and then did a Ph. D. dissertation on his work, which is filled with literary allusions and following those through. It changed the way I thought about literature and the preparation for literature, how you approach it in a broader cultural context. At a time when most criticism was isolating the work, I found you couldn’t do that with Beckett, because he kept forcing you to other philosophers and other theological issues that you had to follow through.
YETI:
Did your interpretation of his work change after you met him?
S.E.G.: Not much. I think partly because he
never wanted to talk about his work, what one’s impressions or interpretations were. You could talk about it in general terms and he would talk about it in general terms, but we would never sit down and say this is what this work is really about. There is no secret code. His standard response was something of a deflection. If you asked him who this character Godot is, his standard answer was that if he knew he would put it in the play. He isn’t withholding anything from you. This is all he sees and all he knows. What you are left with is a series of images which you have to interpret. He’s not going to do the work for you.
YETI:
What was it like meeting Beckett for the first time? Were your subsequent meetings similar?
S.E.G.: There’s
a British publisher named John Calder, who wrote about my first meeting with Beckett and in his version we didn’t say a word for about an hour and a half. I don’t remember it that way. I must have said something, but it was quite awkward. He had by then won the Nobel Prize. He had known James Joyce, all the surrealists and worked with them. He was Joyce’s darling for a while; Joyce’s daughter was in love with him. He exuded all this literary cultural history.
YETI: Did he have that attitude about him? S.E.G.:
No, quite the opposite. He was interested in people’s impressions of his work, but he was quite humble. He was sort of relying on me to direct the conversation and I didn’t know what to say.
YETI:
What do you say to someone like Beckett?
S.E.G.:
Boy, I sure like your work or something dumb like that. [Both laugh]
YETI: You talked about other works, but not his works?
S.E.G.:
His works as well. We first started our correspondence over a lot of the literary allusions in the play called Happy Days, then you sort of manufacture questions to keep the correspondence going. When we lived in Paris, we would meet for coffee. You would get involved in his activities. He would say so and so is doing a production of mine, why don’t you go see it and you’d go see it. At one point, he’d say “I’ve got this play are you interested in doing it?” Then you start working with him and the relationship changes entirely. You’re working on specific projects, where interpretation isn’t as important as how something is done. When we met more casually, we mostly talked about gossip.
YETI: Has meeting him affected your critical works?
S.E.G.:
Sure, if you watch him read or listen to him read, he reads with such concentration. He zeroes in on the text. Watch him direct: there’s so much unshowy learning and knowledge behind all these works, especially in the later works, where the allusions are not as obvious as they are in the earlier works. It teaches you a kind of integrity in what you’re doing. I would’ve been different had I not met him.
YETI: How has he influenced your directing? S.E.G.:
You get a firmer understanding of what kind of theatre he is doing. Not naturalistic theatre, not realistic theater, not really expressionist theatre, but I believe a theatre of images. It’s something associated with a French metaphysician Henri Bergson. An image is not a metaphor or symbol. It is something that is both physical and spiritual, a kind of bridge between the material and spiritual worlds, but it is something in itself.
Arts & Life
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It changed the way I thought about literature and the preparation for literature, how you approach it in a broader cultural context.
Issue 11, December 2012
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Gabriel Paez Gabriel Paez is a senior double majoring in Creative Writing and Political science. Apart from writing poetry and short stories, he is also heavily involved in student activism with the Center for Participant Education and Students for Justice in Palestine. He aspires to one day become an English teacher.
In Free Fall
The Yeti
It’s wartime this crisped dawn mossy clouds of thick concrete pummeled a weathered earth rain- drop by drop like martyred Kamikazes whispering mangled words before sputtering on the sidewalk pooling into sheaths of what once was like glass glazing every surface under the butter churned sky. If you’re quiet enough you can catch that sizzle of relief that chiseled pop of absolute completion the tick of little beady rain eye lids clapping closed and rolling back into the head -the ecstasy of returning to earth After a lifetime in free fall.
Clown at a funeral
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He felt strange wearing shoes that fit him. His fingers always carried an oily, waxy consistency, residue from the hours of his daily makeup routine. But today he stood in the grey November afternoon naked; no wig, no coat of makeup, and no size 25 shoes. The suit he found in his closet was as dark and solid as the chilled dirt being piled onto the oak casket resting in the grave before him. His usual audience of hyperactive children high on sugar was replaced by depressed middle-aged men and women wiping mucus and tears from their lips. “My deepest condolences Mrs. Roberts, I..I don’t know what to say.” He managed to the grieving widow whose children had yanked on his costume, shrieking in delight hundreds of times before. Part of him felt an inert nature to squirt her in the face with his bright plastic flower, much harder and shiner than the dark purple flowers lying on the coffin, not out of insensitivity, but out of custom. She didn’t seem to see him, her eyes lost in a state of catatonic grief, resting hard and black at one fixed point beyond the short bald man. No one could see a stroke claiming the head of the Robert’s household, however life brings
TheYetiOnline.com
strange circumstances. Again, almost in a plea to be heard he repeated, “Mrs. Roberts, my deepest condolences.” His voice carried across the weathered dim day uneasily. Yet again, the widow seemingly ignored the man. A small pit of dejection grew denser and harder in his stomach, causing his throat to quiver and tears to fatten his lower eyelids. A man so gladly accepted, usually a welcome distraction for the kids stood rejected on the crispy grass. He began to look around to the faces watching, which seemed to encircle him and the widow as some sort of spectacle, a relief from the drab grayness of mourning. She stood silent with a small tissue wrapped around her index finger, ritualistically bringing it to her pale nose. He looked to the coffin and couldn’t quite remember the face of the now cadaver, once man. He wilted, leaning forward at a sharp angle and allowing one string of garbled grief to escape like a balloon being deflated. “Oh, Mrs. Roberts, please accept my condolences, I am making a fool of myself, oh lord, my deepest apologies, I, I…” A pink faced man with large palms approached him from behind and patted him sharply in between his shoulders. “It’s okay buddy, it’s okay, this is
hard for all of us, just stay calm.” The circle of funeral goers tightened around the trio; the clown in disguise, the pink faced man, and the widow standing silent as stone. The crowd, whipped up into a frenzy of grief by the short bald man no one recognized, was choking on tears and gasps, sirens to the death a great man. They closed their circle tightly and embraced each other, chanting the name of the deceased, as if to wake him from a deep sleep. The group transformed into a finely tuned instrument of sorrow, a machine which reverberated sound and echoed off of older gravestones. The widow stood silent, untouched by the notes and chords of her husband’s death. The clown, now masked in the tears and mucus of the mourners, slid through the mound of yelping and gasping and towards the parking lot. He walked confidently, with a slight grin on his face, not one of malicious intent, but one of accomplishment; he had done his job. He stepped over the curb and off of the neatly trimmed grass, careful not to overcompensate for the size 10 shoes he wore. He opened the door to his tiny red clown car, put on his favorite nose, and rode away, watching the band play their song, shrinking to a grain in his rear view mirror.
Literature
Clearwater I didn’t want to go in but you convinced me that it was a must. We live the essence of the shop; we are the year-round tourists. The aisles were too close and you weren’t enough. My sunburnt shoulders touched hanging cotton and beads and masks and I tried on that skimpy sequined top that made me look like a popstar. You said, Oh la la. You said, Say something to me in French, then laughed, wandering toward the snow globes. You held it with such care and I wanted to be kissed in one, one that you held, precarious, in your goofy hands. With cuticles I always try and push back, like you and the wisps in my face. But why, Your eyes are this oceanside town and I want to put them in a snow globe, you said while watching the fake flakes fall.
by Danielle Cram
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I. It’s a pleasing kind of agoraphobia. Happiness lying kinked beneath the hoary skyscrapers. It’s like being small again. You drop a fork under the table just so you can practice your audacity. You sink down to grab it and for a second, it’s just you and the space between the linoleum and the table, forested with legs, both human and furniture, glowing with some dark secret as indulgent as gasoline. There’s this power and anonymity and wonder in that space and you feel all of this in a matter of seconds until you have to return to the chicken and the chair and the conversation. II. There’s a lot to be said for such a word. For any word. The way a single word can become a world in one spitting. The way any word can take on such enormity for a single instant and then fade the next. I sit and listen to you speak until that one precious piece glows and lingers like a deliciously stubborn film against the backside of my eyes, glows and reeks of butter-yellow. Horned and heavy with knowing: you bleed for what bites you. III. How nightmarish the sun can become in a moment’s notice, like a scene out of Prufrock, fawning over the surface of everything until eyes roll back, bodies un-enveloped, morphing the surface out of exactitude, coquettish and un-cornered, reclining with bare gleaming thighs, kneading through the bark until they deafen the core. Like a warm knife it paints a dime store life. Feverishly waiting beneath to wring disappointment into plastic blessings to save its own face, demanding like a parasite. It convinces them the cast preceded the mold, kneeling the scene so the whole thing smiles. In sick aphasia it begs you to love the same king. I always refuse.
by Caroline Sans
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Increasing Character
Chapters of
The Yeti
Literature
SIX WORD STORIES Peter Williams: Rapunzel goes pageboy. Shampoo stocks plummet. Heart put in work. Captures others. Walked toward the light. Train derailed. “Wait, the condom goes on before?” Bubble sheets never beat bubble wrap. Hurricane Sandy: Cleanest New York’s been. Puppeteer trips. Tangled strings. Whimsical noose. Heart breaks. Typewriter clicks. Misery sells. Meal burnt. Called Cajun. Evening saved. Artist paints truth. Model demands refund. Man embraces nature. Views alligator’s insides. Fireworks vendor learned to quit smoking. Television puts hypnotist out of work. Thin ice. Young scream. Frozen innocence. Writer wins duel. Pen was mightier. Sculpture melts in heat. Called modern. Dog chases Girl Scouts. Free cookies. Delivery truck. Delivery room. Big difference. Man moves ball well. Yay sports. Editor’s Irony: “Deleted” by edited author. “Mirror, Mirror, who’s fairest? ...Best personality?” Spark is gone. Firefighters shouldn’t marry. Social boundaries study goes too far. Hipster movement ends. Too many hipsters. Angels get dandruff. Call it snow. Pop culture lacks crackle. Oh snap. Three blind mice get guide fleas. Need stitches. Hospital expensive. Find tailor. Cat chokes on computer mouse chord Broke keyboard. Made lemonade. Played Scrabble.
Nick Freeman: Six-word stories: hard to write Asher Barzaga: Bought baby shoes. Didn’t use them. Elly Schaefer I love him. I due [sic]. Jasson Ospina: I was gonna clean my room Ricky Seaman: In the beginning God created evolution Tayyib Ayube: Once upon a time, the end. Stacie Vandhana Balkaran: Eyes opened. He was gone...forever.
Issue 11, December 2012
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The Yeti
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