Ziva Voices Bookazine - Issue No1. Step into your Power! by Ziva Voices - HerStory in the Making

NO. 1 // $6.99

YOUR STORY AS A PORTAL TO PERSONAL POWER

NO IS THE START OF A NEGOTIATION 5 wys to be a confident negotiator

OUTLIERS: CHOOSING HAPPINESS

CONTENTS WELCOME 03 EDITORS LETTER

STEPPING INTO YOUR POWER 08 YOUR STORY AS A PORTAL TO PERSONAL POWER 10 NO IS THE START OF A NEGOTIATION. 12 WHY YOU NEED TO DISCOVER YOUR TRUE IDENTITY TO BUILD AN AUTHENTIC BUSINESS. 16 BECOMING AN EMPOWERED FEMININE

18 OUTLIERS: CHOOSING HAPPINESS 22 POWER 24 THREE WAYS TO USE POWERFUL WORDS TO CREATE A POSITIVE IMPACT 28 2021 WILL BE YOUR YEAR 30 USING YOUR VOICE (EVEN WHEN IT SHAKES) 35 6 SIGNS YOU ARE STANDING IN YOUR POWER – AND HOW TO GET THERE

33 PODCAST RECOMMENDATIONS

WWW.KINGAMNICH.COM

STEPPING INTO YOUR POWER 38 STAY CURIOUS: SEEK WONDER IN YOUR MESS & LESSONS IN THE PAIN 42 BLENDING YOUR CAREER WITH YOUR TRUE SELF TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 44 RESTARTING: THE STORY AFTER MOTHERHOOD 48 IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR CAREER 52 LESSIONS LEARNEDFROM RUNNING A FILM FESTIVAL AND A THANK YOU 56 STEPPING INTO THE POWER OF COMMUNITY

PART 2: REFLECTION GUIDE 62 INTRODUCING TO THE GUIDE 63 LET'S GET STARTED 65 CHANGE YOUR MIND: NEW FRONTIER 74 10 TRICKS YOU CAN USE TO STAY ON TRACK 77 HOW TO STOP JUDGING 80 THE 4 LEVELS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

96 CONTRIBUTORS

PART 3: THE ZIVA WAY 20

BEHIND ZIVA

EXAMPLES OUTLINE OF INDIVIDUAL SESSION EXAMPLE WORKSHEETS

92 WWW.KINGAMNICH.COM

Editor’s Letter BY DR. KINGA MNICH

Welcome to the Ziva Way: the magazine whose philosophy and methods enable leaders to become the best version of themselves. The Ziva Way story started in August 2014 when I decided one day to shut down all communication in my life…a life which to others, at the time, appeared to be running its course magnificently. I had created a selfdetermined existence based on my values and rules, I taught at Nelson Mandela University, ran my own consultancy, was working happily to complete my Ph.D. and was on the boards of two non-profits. I loved every minute of every day, until one day, I realized that I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just shut down. Passion, the fire that usually keeps me going had burned out. I was tired of saying yes to everyone. It was starting to take a lot of energy to be around people. The discouragement which plagued me was seeing a world that created little hope for women and placed men into prescribed roles perpetuating the endless cycle of a power struggle. I had started to feel powerless. And then it really hit me when a female student said it was pointless: she wouldn't vote for a female politician to become president because she simply didn’t believe that women had the ability to lead. This was soon followed by a brutal attack on another female student and continuous societal belittlement of women who had fallen victim to violence. Everything made me question if I had the POWER to create change. How could I contribute to improving the dialogue around women’s voices if there are women that don’t believe in their own power? It also made me reflect on my own personal relationships and confront my biases and understand that I was placing boundaries around myself based on these same biases. I no longer wanted what my partner wanted. To break out of this, I had to be honest and understand that I needed to reinvent myself. 04 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

That meant evaluating what that failure meant to me. It meant to accept that I had to prepare myself to let go of what society and culture had led me to accept as right. I had to find the truth and, by enabling my true self, start to live my own life, on my own terms. It was an incredible journey to the understanding that we all have, inside us, the voice and the power to change the things around us - one person, at a time. The lesson is that sometimes it takes time for the words that we share to be processed and for us to realize we are impacting the people around us in every interaction. A big moment for me was when, a few years later, my student didn’t just end up voting for a woman, she actually run for a city council position herself!

The Ziva Way is the result of my work and experiences. It is a philosophy and methodology to enable you to become the best version of yourself. And the Ziva Way magazine is the platform for us to learn from each other, build community, improve our lives and get inspired. Welcome again: I couldn’t be happier about having you here today.

Kinga Mnich DR. KINGA MNICH EDITOR IN CHIEF

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 05

BE. CREATE. IMPACT FIND THE POWER TO TRUST YOUR SELF

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.KINGAMNICH.COM

1 PART ONE

At times we feel alone, misunderstood, and lack the thinspiration to continue on our path.

DEVELOPING A GROWTH MINDSET FILLED WITH ABUNDANCE & POSITIVITY

EMPOWERMENT

STORY

JANUARY MARCH 2022

YOUR STORY AS A PORTAL TO PERSONAL POWER

TELLING

By Kendra Williams

Purpose is power. Knowing what you’re meant to do and who you’re meant to become is powerful. You move through life with more confidence and certainty when you know each step has greater meaning. If you’re anything like me, then you may have felt disconnected from your purpose recently, or maybe you’re still on the journey to find it. How do you find your purpose? Is it possible that you’ve always known, and the hints are in your story?

Storytelling is an ancient tradition of many cultures around the globe. In Africa, whole villages have gathered to listen to storytellers share history, spiritual lessons, beliefs, and values, often accompanied by music and dancing. Stories of their ancestors, heroes, and gods are passed down to children around a roaring fire. Oceans away, a testimonio, or “witness account” in Spanish, refers to a narrative research approach with roots in Latin American history as a result of social and political unrest in the 1950s. First-person accounts of someone who experienced oppression or marginalization help to frame the narrative of historical events. In narrative practice, it’s through sharing personal stories with others that one is able to process and reframe the negative thoughts and beliefs developed over time to positive ones. What if the same power, harnessed by generations before, is also available to you now? Share Your Past At the height of the pandemic, I felt lost in my career, my relationships, and even in my body. I took time to be alone and reconnected with things I used to love when I was younger - reading, music, and art. I began to remember how I felt all those years ago, doing what I loved, and memories came flooding back.

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I loved telling stories through songs I’d written, pictures I’d drawn, and poems I’d written. I began to share parts of my story with people around me, and they filled gaps I couldn’t recall. Inevitably, I hit painful moments from my past as my story took form. In therapy, I found myself uncovering emotion that I’d been carrying from events in my formative years, and how they impact me today. Through sharing my past, I was able to separate myself from my experiences, understand them more objectively, and forgive myself for the mistakes I’d made. Accept Your Present Knowing my past helped me understand who I am right now and why. How I dealt with painful moments became patterns I carried with me well into adulthood. Some still serve me to this day, while I’ve been unlearning the others that held me back. One practice that I find beneficial is journaling. In The Artist’s Way, author Julia Cameron recommends writing three pages in the morning soon after waking every day. She encourages readers (artists or not) to write whatever comes to their minds, without judgment or concern for structure, grammar, spelling, or other “rules.” I’m not perfect about completing my pages every single day, but I can still attest to their power in my life. Pouring my thoughts into writing led me to identify behaviors and decisions necessary for Little Kendra, but not the Kendra I am today.

It’s also through the honesty that I’ve had in those pages that I learned my purpose - sharing my story, creating space for others to do the same, and supporting collective healing in my community. Thus, Black & Brown In The Middle was born. Write Your Future As you learn more about who you are today, the more open possibilities for the future become to you. Imagining who you will be tomorrow is more accessible, and the confidence in yourself to get there gets stronger. I regularly take out my journal and check in with myself by asking,“how do I want to feel one year, 5 years, 10 years from now?” The one answer I have across the board is that I want to continue healing and helping others to do the same. Storytelling means so much to me as a vehicle for healing and finding my purpose.

EMPOWERMENT

I’ve found a path that will bring it all together in my career. Last year, I founded Black & Brown In The Middle, a media production company that features experiences of everyday Black, Brown, and Indigenous people. We’re producing a documentary series in which they’ll tell their stories on their own terms. This is the future I’m writing for myself. I sit down with my pen, and I describe what my life will look like. It brings clarity, helping me focus and protect myself from distractions that don't align with this purpose. Your story is your legacy, your unique purpose, and the source of your personal power. You develop the narrative of your life, drawing from the past and imagining your future. So, what will be the story history tells about you? You decide, so I invite you to get your pen and get to writing!

Kendra is a storyteller & founder of a production company that supports healing and self-discovery through storytelling www.blacknbrownitm.com @blacknbrownitm

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 09

LEADERSHIP

NO IS THE START OF A NEGOTIATION Most of my clients see NO as the end of a negotiation, I would claim it is the exact opposite and I’ll share with you why. NO is the start of a negotiation and No literally means “I don’t want a deal on these terms”. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to do business with you. So, how should you use NO to strategically as a comeback? Preparation is key Would you successfully run a marathon tomorrow? Most probably not (unless you're a marathon runner, like me). But when I ask you if you would successfully negotiate your salary or fees tomorrow, you would most probably say yes. 10 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

One of the biggest mistakes my clients make is that they’re not fully prepared for a successful negotiation. They want a raise and they’ve done some research. But do they know their market value? Is their market value based on objective decision criteria? Could they show me the numbers and the sources? Most of the time not. One of the tools I recommend for using objective decision criteria for obtaining a market value is www.payscale.com Payscale is a database with 54 million profiles worldwide. Payscale creates salaryreports based on Peer Groups. Which means that the database looks at profiles that closely match your industry, experience, education, location and skills.

PHOTO: JANNEKE NOOIJ

By Merel van der Wouden LL.M

3 OPTIONS STRATEGY “Never bet on 1 horse”. Spread your chances and be prepared to negotiate. Write down 3 scenarios for yourself. Diamond package: this is your ideal scenario. Dream big, aim for the moon and stretch yourself. For example 20% salary raise, a laptop and a car Gold package: this is still a good scenario. For example 15% salary raise and a laptop Silver package: this is your resistance point. Decide if you’re willing to walk away if the other party is making an offer below your silver package. If the other party is offering you below your resistance point, be prepared to walk away. Do you want to work with someone who or a company that doesn’t value your time, effort or knowledge? For walking away I would recommend to have an BATNA.

BATNA BATNA stands for: Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. A party’s BATNA is an alternative if negotiations are unsuccessful. Example: I will look for another client, job, take some time off (you name it). Research suggests that negotiators with stronger BATNA’s are more likely to make the first offer in a negotiation and appear to negotiate better outcomes (Magee, Galinsky and Gruenfeld, 2007) Counter proposal If you hear a NO on your proposal. Be prepared, have your 3 options and BATNA ready and make that counter proposal!

You’ve got this!

Merel van der Wouden is a negotiation & transformation coach from Amsterdam. Her heart beats faster for topics such as equality, female leadership, challenging the status quo and freedom. www.merelvanderwouden.com @merelvanderwouden

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 11

Why you need to discover your true identity to build an authentic business. by Chengetai Chikadaya

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I had to discover my true identity to build an authentic business. Hi, my name is Chengetai, and I am a multi-passionate Brand Writer. Imagine laying face up on a plush couch in your beautiful corner office. Your heart is racing, and you’re struggling to breathe. You hear a knock - the friendly woman who cleans your office peeps in. “Is anything wrong?” she asks. Robotically, you smile and whisper, “I’m fine, thank you”, knowing full well that ‘everything was wrong’. The woman on the coach was me a few years ago. I was chasing myself up the career ladder - Executive Director of a regional, Non-Profit Organization, attending national conferences, and smiling through my red lipstick. I was overworked and underpaid, but my signature finally meant something. My office was located at a prestigious university where I was finalizing my PhD proposal; ironically, my research was about finding a voice within marginalized spaces.

But, it was after leaving a PhD group meeting abruptly that I found myself on this couch having a panic attack. My racing heart and sweaty palms were all indicating something I couldn’t hide any longer - I had lost my voice. Some people call it a mid-career crisis, and others call it imposter syndrome. I believe I was having a career identity crisis. I didn’t feel stuck in my career, but combining the heavy, dutiful work of Development and the sterile, intellectual work of Academia - I was weighed down by ideas and beliefs that were not mine and not serving me any longer. I had never over-identified with any kind of group, and I didn’t realize how much labels were impacting me. Identity markers of - Black, Woman, African, Intellectual, mixed in with the virtuosity of unpaid emotional labour. So many times, I found I was unable to be honest with myself.

I felt and thought so many things that contradicted the space and was unable to express this. I was not connecting with my authentic self the essence of my being at the core level, so my body responded. Two years later, I am a multipassionate Brand Writer. Amongst other things, I offer Brand Strategy & Messaging for business owners looking to get clarity, scale, uncover their brand story and shape how that story is told. On my journey to self-discovery, I embraced three fundamental, lifechanging truths: I don’t need to find myself; I simply need to evolve into who I am, starting by letting go of my identity facade Behaviour is fluid, and my true self is somewhere between my imagined self and outside my comfort zone Who I am is a set of narratives that I can choose to rewrite, replay or re-imagine at any time content and coaching clients.

I started having conversations with like-minded women and honoured my multiple passions while rediscovering my marketable skills writing & coaching. I believe these were the first steps to discovering my true identity within my work. Next, I did everything my identity markers would probably cringe at; this Black, African, Intellectual, Woman, quit her job, quit her PhD, got married and started a business with her gorgeous husband. Together, we have built an enterprise that reflects our family’s true values, a multi-service company called Concept Afrika. We work with businesses, foundations and academics across the world developing content and coaching clients. One of our core values is rusununguko, meaning freedom because I believe that I am finally free.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 13

I LISTEN, I WRITE, I BECOME. CHENGETAI CHIKADAYA

Chengetai Chikadaya is a multi-passionate Brand Writer & founder of Concept Afrika is a communications consultancy that’s in the business of content development that empowers. https://conceptafrika.com/ linkedin.com/in/chengetaichikadaya/

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YOU ARE

Never Too Old

TO SET ANOTHER GOAL OR TO DREAM

a New Dream! -Malala Yousafzai

EMPOWERMENT

becoming

BECOMING AN EMPOWERED “FEMININE”

JANUARY MARCH 2022

powerful

By Renée Warren

Do not follow the familiar path. Instead, you must go to where no one has been before, and leave a trail for others to follow. There were times I felt I needed to step away from my true self to be the leader my team and family needed. I thought that wearing a masculine veil was the only way to success, especially in business. My clients at the time were mostly men in the tech space, and it was shamefully evident that there was no space for feminine energy. As a parent, I felt too soft giving into my kids' emotional needs. It seemed as though parenting required strict discipline with little room for nurture and compassion. The pressure from society had a tight grip on how I functioned as an entrepreneur and mother.

It was exhausting and overwhelming wearing this masculine suit all day. Heavy and uncomfortable at times, it weighed me down. It stifled my progress and stunted my ability to lead with conviction. I was embarrassed to show up in a compassionate way, thinking I would lose a deal, upset a client, or raise children that were incompetent. After living up to crazy standards, I broke. The pressure to function in my masculine energy more often than not was making me sick. Quite literally I was ill; night sweats, heartburn, and lethargy were my daily affliction. I often wondered when it would all end? Would I live life completely disheveled? Seems I was headed that way. There came a day that I finally tore it all off, discovered my full potential, and leaned into becoming an empowered feminine. These same powers and acknowledgments are available to you too. Here’s how to achieve it: Surround yourself with other empowered women They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose your circle wisely. Make friends with other empowered women who can support your growth and change.

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Do work that fulfills you Find meaning and purpose in the work that you do. This will lead you to more abundance and prosperity. The more fulfilled you are with your work, the more everyone around you prospers as well. Invest in a hobby Do something different and that challenges you. I started taking drum lessons when I was 38 years old. When my husband asked me “What’s the purpose of this?” I replied, “To challenge myself and experience something different.” Encourage others It feels good to be a lighthouse, to guide people and lift others up. In those moments, you become a better version of yourself. Learn to say no more often You will be more proud of the things you say no to than of the commitments you make that are misaligned with your purpose. Protect your time wisely.

Establish achievable goals for yourself Create goals that fall just outside your comfort zone. When you cross that line between feeling comfortable and pursuing something that scares you, that’s when growth happens. And it’s very empowering. Create an annual plan Keep it simple. Add your goal(s) and create the plan to make it happen. It does not have to be perfect, but you do have to write it down and share it with someone else. Invest in your core values In living a purposeful life as an empowered woman, you need to create a list of core values and subscribe to your personal ethos every day. Values aren’t selected, we discover and reveal them. They define who you are. Make use of your freedom Becoming empowered is about recognizing your inherent privilege and making decisions about how you can use it to help others.

Practice daily self-care It’s been suggested that you take at least 30-minutes to do something that feeds your soul, relaxes, and calms you. Whatever that is for you; a bath, a walk in nature, a workout, a good book, schedule it and make this a priority in your day just as you would eat healthily and workout. Empowerment is something you have to do for yourself. You can’t rely on others to take initiative. And be keenly mindful of those that you surround yourself with. Are they supporting you or taking power away? When you can really take control of your life and make important decisions yourself is when you will feel the positive energy and good all around you.

Renée is a Business Coach and Founder of We Wild Women. She helps you grow your business using her proven Leadership, Marketing and Scaling methodologies. https://www.wewildwomen.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/warrenrenee/

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 17

OUTLIERS

CHOOSING HAPPINESS The Intersection of Purpose and Power By Wren Blae Zimmerman

We will all face challenges in life, some more and some far worse than others. It isn’t the quantity or severity of these challenges that matter however, but rather how we react to the adversity, and what we do with it in the aftermath. Many will let these struggles define them, possibly even break them, but we all have the power inside of us to fight, and ultimately, to transform our difficult experiences into positive personal power. For me, the challenge was a life-shattering diagnosis at age 17 that resulted in my eventually becoming blind.

With no cure, there wasn’t (and still isn’t) anything anyone could do to give me back my eyesight...or the life I thought I would have. For many years after losing my vision, I fought to stay on the path I had previously set out on; the life for which I had planned. What I couldn’t have foreseen was that my reaction to these devastating circumstances would eventually change the trajectory of my life for the better. It would force me to reevaluate everything, figure out what was worth living and fighting for, and would push me to forge a path that I probably never would have taken otherwise. Losing my eyesight was the catalyst that made me begin to truly contemplate quality of life and happiness, and which ultimately led me to the realization that these were crucial components not only to my career success, but more importantly, to my actual existence. We all have the power inside of us to create change. To do this though we must first understand our what and why. My first significant step towards owning my power was to realize that the path I had set out on previously wouldn’t make me happy and as a blind person, was no longer for me. I left behind a pair of half-completed Masters’ degrees, financial stability, and a conventional and socially acceptable life plan and instead, went all in on pursuing my lifelong dream of learning to ride and jump horses (and ultimately, of becoming a professional show jumper).

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I haven’t looked back since. Modern neuroscience has proven that we really have no control over our deep, unconscious emotions and needs, but we do seem to have some control over what we do with them once we recognize them at the conscious level. These mostly unconscious needs are, I am now aware, what drive and motivate me. They push me to want more and to strive to always be better. They are the reasons being successful is so important to me. As my self-awareness and conscious understanding of my emotional and psychological needs have grown, my mission, vision, goals, and the required achievements have become much clearer to me. If you’re like me, you know what it feels like to have such an intense pull toward something; a desire, or rather, a need to do this one thing, so strong that it is all-consuming. When you feel this, try to find a way to pursue it - no matter what it takes. I believe that we can create our own opportunities, and by actively pursuing our ‘passions and dreams', we are giving ourselves the greatest chance at success and happiness. Recognize where your purpose comes from. I came to realize that by having a disability myself, I had the power to create change. This wasn’t an epiphany that came to me overnight but rather was years in the making - an understanding that surfaced long after the frustration, fear, anger, embarrassment, anxiety, isolation, and depression had all mostly ebbed away, and I had accepted my reality. As I continued to pursue my riding, my happiness and quality of life began to increase, and confidence and determination replaced the earlier negative feelings. A self-sustaining positive emotional circle was established. While we may have differing ideas on purpose (for example, whether you feel that you have just one or can have many), the importance lies in recognizing that this purpose gives you the power to make a difference: not only in your own life but also in the lives of others. The happiness I’ve come to identify for myself has been the result of intertwining my purpose with my power (which is just another way of saying my will to do a particular thing).

For me, this is the mission of creating positive change for the greater good within the equestrian industry by applying the tools I’ve developed over time as a result of my own unique experiences. In your journey, let the achievements and successes bolster you, but don’t overlook the ability of the challenges and failures to do the same. Be empowered by the knowledge that the adversity you have endured grants you the right to react and to have a voice. Always try to be conscious of your deep emotions, so that you can be intentional in how you react to them and how you use them. Harness the emotions that come out of the hardest, most trying times in your life and sculpt them into your own power. It’s so important to do what you love in life because anything can be taken away from us at any moment. Even if it’s hard or it scares you, still do it! Only you know what you are truly capable of. You have to believe in yourself. This is ‘stepping into your power’. I haven’t looked back since. Modern neuroscience has proven that we really have no control over our deep, unconscious emotions and needs, but we do seem to have some control over what we do with them once we recognize them at the conscious level.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 19

Wren Blae Zimmerman is a legally blind equestrian athlete who competes against able-bodied riders in the sport of show jumping. Since relocating to Kentucky in 2017, Wren has been working to advocate for the sport of para-show jumping to become an officially recognized discipline in the US, with the long-term goal of it becoming a Paralympic sport.

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www.wrenblae.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/wrenblae

YOUR POWER IS SACRED

WHAT IS

POWER THE OTHER SIDE TO POWER. BY DR. KINGA MNICH

You might have been made to believe that you can be empowered *. Meaning someone can give you power. Which also indirectly means that someone can take away your power. I strongly disagree with this insinuation. Power lies within you, and while social circumstances can place you into a position where you feel more or less powerful, society cannot strip you entirely of your power, therefore, your mindset determines your power (and freedom).

Let's change your perception of power so you can step into it with ease. * Being promoted above others at work is not being given power in the sense in which we are talking here it is being given the responsibility to direct the work of others within the confines of the rules/regulations/mores of the business. That responsibility can be taken away but, even if it is, your individual and personal power is not affected.

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POWER MEANS INFLUENCE

Power is often summarized as the individual’s ability to control or direct others, i.e. exercising authority over others or imposing your will on others; leaving out that power in a social context is usually based on knowledge, charisma, prestige, wealth, and other social components. We often don’t want to speak about power because it is used concurrently with force (forcing your own will upon others). While this is true in specific environments, power, more importantly, refers to one’s own ability to turn ideas into reality.

THE OTHER SIDE OF POWER.

CONFIDENCE IS POWER

Confidence is more than just a feeling: it is the belief that you can handle whatever comes your way. This means that you believe that you have the power to master unknown situations, which, in turn, means that you understand your personal worth, abilities, and skills. All this builds self-esteem and helps you to move selfdoubt aside. Power also allows you to set aside judgment, criticism, and comparison.

POWER MEANS TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM. One of the biggest hindrances in self-development is selfpity, an infinity of complaints, and negativity. These concepts prevent you from taking responsibility for your thoughts, as well as for your power. At times, because change is scary and requires you to fight for yourself, it seems easier to simply pretend that you can’t change the situation.

YOU CAN HAVE POWER & STILL BE KIND & CARING.

Power is often associated with cruelty, egotism, and the inability, or unwillingness, to care for others. While that might be true for the tyrants of this world, power is, in fact, the ability to change things. Not everyone is going to share your beliefs and vision, but, the clearer you are about your vision and, the more values you demonstrate in actions, the more people will support you, and the more power you will gain.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 23

Deborah A. Coviello

ave you ever met someone who is incredibly talented and excelling in their field yet they are failing to receive the recognition they deserve? Throughout my career, I have seen this happen time and time again. I was curious, what made some individuals shine while others missed their light? I began to research this phenomenon and what I've discovered, is that those who understand the importance of effective messaging are much more likely to leave an impact with their work. We have all had those moments when we feel on top of our game and can't wait to share what we're learning with others. I remember having one particularly exciting month at work and the moment I was able to reveal this new information to my colleagues. I was over the moon, but after my presentation, I heard nothing but cricketscomplete silence filled the room. I had been so proud of my work but lost the power behind my information when I failed to connect with my audience. What I left out of my presentation was the opportunity to engage my audience through discussion and conversation. If you have important information to share, a great statistic on its own isn't going to leave a lasting impression. What you need to make your message stick is audience participation- meet them where they are and make them feel comfortable asking questions. Because without engagement, your information may reach the audience, but your words and data will be much less likely to shake things up and create real change. In three simple principles, I want to help you find your voice and impact your world.

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Illustration by Kimberly Carrera

THREE WAYS TO USE POWERFUL WORDS TO CREATE A POSITIVE IMPACT

“...MY FIRST SUGGESTION IS TO REMOVE “N’T” FROM YOUR VOCABULARY. GET RID OF THOUGHTS THAT SAY, “I CAN'T, I'M NOT, I WON'T, I NEVER, AND I SHOULDN'T.”

CHANGING YOUR LANGUAGE WILL CREATE A POSITIVE MINDSET. My first suggestion is to remove “n’t” from your vocabulary. Get rid of thoughts that say, “I can't, I'm not, I won't, I never, and I shouldn't.” Think about, or write down, how many times you've used negative language today. Now, positively reframe those thoughts. Reimagine those sentences using words such as “I can. I am. I will. I'll learn. I'll try.” Positive language moves you away from the limiting beliefs you build for yourself when you live in a negative headspace. When you change your internal speech, you will make more actionable changes. I’ve seen a dramatic change in a good friend who employed this tip. They had been working in a technical leadership position and were offered an opportunity in technical sales. Their first reaction was, “I can't apply for that job because I've never been in sales.” After hearing my friend project a negative mindset, I told them to think about it more positively. I suggested changing their thought to, “while sales is new to me, I know from experience that I am a quick learner and have thrived in other challenging situations.”

After taking my advice, my friend applied and received the technical sales position. Following this career change, they were promoted in less than a year. As soon as we can change the words we use about ourselves, our behavior is affected, which in turn changes the impact we have on our environment.

CHANGING HOW YOU COMMUNICATE AND CREATE CONNECTIONS WILL MAKE AN IMPACT I want to talk to you about messaging, especially in the context of giving presentations. When presenting, remember the importance of your expertise and knowledge, but don’t forget to give your audience context. What is the risk of not taking this advice? What are the ways your information can impact each individual personally? Doing this breaks down your information and makes it relatable. You don’t want to sound like a public service announcement; you want to engage your audience. Think about presenting information in the context of risk or opportunity for your audience. Then, once you’ve mentally and emotionally connected with people, propose your solution.

Here is an example of what NOT to do, “Data shows complaints are increasing, and we need to replace our equipment to detect defects before they reach our customers.” When you present your issue in this manner, responses you are likely to hear are, “we don't have that in the budget,” “let's look at that next year,” or, “can we just take that offline?” This happens because you didn’t tell people how to respond to you. Your data may be accurate, but you didn’t make a connection that led to engagement or a solution. This is the moment subject matter experts lose their confidence. They walk away from situations like these feeling frustrated and become less likely to present again. However, let's try to reframe this presentation, “data shows customer complaints are increasing, and unless we make changes in our detection equipment, we're going to lose business and likely incur returns.”

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 25

This quick change of phrase gave direction to the dialogue and made those in power appreciate your information. Now that you have their attention, you need to provide a solution, “I propose that we invest in this equipment. Although it may be a $10,000 investment, with the return expense of $5,000 a quarter, this necessary change will pay for itself in only six months.” Your data has now found context and engaged with its audience. When you speak with your audience in mind, you are much more likely to see results! Even if you don’t see dramatic results right away, you’ve laid a foundation. You have started a conversation and established yourself as a valuable resource by connecting with your audience. Now that they understand how your expertise can impact their success, you can expect your work to reach a wider audience and leave a more significant impact.

BUILD A FEEDBACK FRAMEWORK THAT CREATES CONVERSATIONS BASED ON STRENGTH We need to do a better job at getting the feedback we need to elevate our impact. Society has created a framework where people are afraid of feedback or don’t know how to put it into action properly. However, after a project if you ask just three simple questions that are answered honestly, you can make huge leaps in your impact.

26 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

1.What should I continue? 2.What should I start? 3. What should I change? Continue, start, and change. These powerful words work to reframe feedback into a positive experience, while giving the individual specific points of action. You should continue with the things presented as strengths, you should start strategies that will elevate your message, and you should change aspects that may be distracting from your value. Present this framework whenever you are asking for feedback and it will give the individual evaluating you the opportunity to positively impact your message. How often have you been in a situation where you asked someone for feedback and they said “you’re doing fine,” or “sounds good to me.” Was that helpful? Probably not, but did you give them the framework to give you positive feedback? If you just asked “how am I doing?” or “how does this sound?” the person you asked probably didn’t know exactly what information you were looking for. I can think of one situation where I need to give someone working for me genuine, thorough feedback. They had given amazing information, but they wanted to know how they could improve their presentation. When thinking of how I could be the most helpful, I followed the framework of continue, start, change.

I let them know that they should continue to be thorough in sharing their information and knowledge. Their information is their superpower; people rely on it for key business decisions. Leading with an affirmation led to a positive start to the conversation and built trust as I continued to start. I then told my coworker that they needed to start standing the whole time they delivered content. Even if they were giving a virtual office presentation, standing would bring energy to their words and harness engagement. Then, before sharing what I thought they should change, I asked if they would be okay with my input in that area. When they agreed, I gave my feedback. I encouraged them to be more intentional about what they were doing with their hands. I let them know that using uncorrelated hand movements could be distracting for their audience and suggested finding something to ground their hands, like holding on to a pen. When I told them this they were grateful to have an actionable piece of advice, and it was taken well as we had already discussed many things that they were doing right. After taking my direction, and reusing this feedback framework, they soon became a sought-out global leader in their field.

And now it’s your turn to take this information and apply it to your own life. Take negative language out of your internal vocabulary, focus on using language that connects with your audience, and learn how to ask for and respond to feedback in the most productive way. Then, share this wisdom with others and encourage them to gain confidence through these communication strategies. When we share powerful words with those around us, we elevate our community and create a positive impact. By following this advice you have the power to enhance yourself while simultaneously creating positive change in the lives of those around you.

Deb Coviello is an advisor, author, podcast host, and Founder of Illumination Partners. She is a trusted partner to C-Suite Leaders. https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahacoviello/ https://dropinceo.com/

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 27

COMMUNITY

Travel

2022 WILL BE YOUR YEAR by Adina Tatum

I’ll let you in on a little secret. The pandemic was actually very good for my personal development and launched me in my new field!

It started when I took a quiz on Facebook in 2020, and it predicted that 2021 would be my year. Of course, we all know that Facebook quizzes can’t predict the future, but after the year we have all had, I am sure we will take whatever optimistic predictions are passed our way. After losing my job of 14 years, I decided to go back to school. I became a stay-at-home mom of two and enrolled in online courses through SHNU. Graduating in September 2020, I received my Bachelors in Science, focusing on business. For 14 years, I had helped brides prepare for their big day, and I loved the joy it brought, so I knew whatever path I took following graduation needed to be fulfilling and something impactful. After graduation, I intended to find my dream job and begin investing in my family's future, but the world had other plans. The pandemic hit, and my plans to find this dream job were put on hold due to virtual learning. 28 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

Whatever I was going to do had to revolve around my kids schedule, which did not leave a lot of room for family time and a career…so I thought why not helping to build a community market. Let me tell you a secret, this pandemic changed my life for the better. I am physically stronger, mentally became more confident, and I landed a position with an organization I didn’t even realize I needed. Finding the positive in this pandemic has not been easy for anyone. It was a big pause button that we were all forced to press but let's be honest: we needed it! People were forced to work from home, and the world adapted. Because of this, I am able to be a part of a community that allows me the luxury of focusing on my family and career at the same time. In addition, in my line of work as a Director of Operations , I have gotten to be a part of growing new businesses that are predominantly women and minorityowned.

JAN - MAR 2022

Story

Throughout this past year, I have gotten to know myself intimately. My comfort zone has been stepped on and stepped over. Opportunities have been presented to me that I never knew I wanted or had the qualifications. For example, I was recently featured in a speaker series, “Building Entrepreneurship in the Community.” After the event finished, I had a line of people wanting to speak with me, my mind was blown, and I was humbled. I have always had a hard time seeing what others see in me. This year has taught me to accept compliments, stand tall in the positions I have been placed in, step out of my comfort zone and into my power! Maybe Facebook was on to something. Who knows. But, I am certain of this: you will not grow or reach your full potential staying in your comfort zone.

Julietta Market is a nonprofit public market built to foster opportunity, growth, and connection. It is a place for, by, and about our neighbors. Julietta Market is an incubator for small businesses. We focus on, but are not limited to minority, female, neighborhood business owners. Our market provides affordable amenities, business training and low overhead costs for our start up businesses. This 14,000 square foot public market is set in the heart of the historic Southeast Greyhound Building in Lexington, Kentucky. Year-round, the Julietta Market features 60 small business kiosks, 20 popup spaces, 7 food stalls, a community art gallery, and an event space for cultural and community events. " hhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/adina-tatum-1434a284/ https://www.juliettamarket.com/

Adina is the Director of Operations of the Julietta Market and she is a Jazzercise Franchisee. Entrepreneurship & community development are what gives her purpose & energy to continue with her work.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 29

USING YOUR VOICE

(EVEN WHEN IT SHAKES) By Heather Parady

30 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

If you are reading a magazine like this one, I would bet you have something to say. If you picked out this article to read… maybe you are simply afraid to say it. I think one of the biggest misconceptions that I had growing up was that the people at the front, leading the pack, making the decisions, were naturally brave. I have come to believe (deeply and with a strong conviction) that the ‘movers and shakers’ in this world have simply learned the behavioral techniques to move intentionally, despite their internal and external limitations.

BEING AFRAID IS OKAY.

I remember attending a conference in my twenties and listening to the keynote speaker who led a massive nonprofit. I was intrigued by her because I lead a similar nonprofit (Except her nonprofit had hundreds of volunteers and donors, mine had only a handful). Being that age and insecure, I noted the vast difference between our nonprofits’ success to there being something fundamentally wrong with me and my vision. (Ten years later I know that it was mostly a time issue. She had been running

hers for 20+ years, mine was only a couple of years old... but you don’t always think clearly when you are listening to ego.) Something happened that night that I will be eternally grateful for. I went up to meet her afterwards and while I was waiting my turn to talk to her, I overheard her talking to her friend... She was spouting off a bunch of insecurities about how the talk went. She seemed to be looking for reassurance about her speech and if the points she made “made sense”. The bold, brave, and fearless woman that I envied, was no different than me: The same insecurities. The same fears. However, she stood on that stage anyway. She did the following night as well. She continued to lead, continued to expand, and continued to impact peoples’ lives. I return back to that moment a lot when I am faced with my own crippling self doubt and try to remind myself that the presence of fear is not an indication that you are in the wrong lane (sometimes it is an indicator you are actually in the right one). And that if that bold, strong woman who led hundreds could lead despite her own insecurities, maybe I could too. Okay Heather, thanks for the motivation... but now what?

THE FEARS (a couple of them at least)

I was on the phone with a client the other day. We were working through her hesitation to “use her voice” online in the way that she said she wanted. Over the past few weeks, she had been sharing about her desire to build an online brand, reach women in business, and unapologetically share her own story. She was paralyzed by fear, though and bravely shared the two main reasons she was hesitating to step fully into this powerful brand and share her message: She said that first, she was concerned that at the end of the day, she wouldn’t know enough (what if I proclaim to be an expert about “x” only to find out that I am not an expert…?). Second, what if after I make these bold proclamations about my brand, I get bored and change my mind? Will people take me seriously?

SPEAK WHAT YOU KNOW

To the first point, what if I do not know enough? I recently bought a training from one of my very favorite communicators, Rob Bell, called Something to Say (I am not affiliated with this training, just recommend it if you are a communicator). Rob beautifully addressed this fear in a way that I haven't heard before. Usually when someone tells us that they don’t think they are worthy enough to talk about “x” we rush to the well meaning advice, “You know more than you think!” Which I wouldn’t argue. However it is missing some parameters (and safety!) that Rob shared in this training. He suggested that when we “use our voice” whether it is through writing, speaking, creating a piece of content online, etc, all we have to do is simply share what we have lived. That’s it. What you have experienced, what you have learned, what you have lived. No one can take that away from you. Your story, your experience, is yours. How could you ever be an imposter then? The strain, stress, anxiety comes in when we don’t believe that is ENOUGH. We want to inflate what we know or have lived because WE don’t feel like enough. I know I have experienced this, and fought to achieve more only to discover at the end of the day, I am still me. My insecurities never left regardless of what I accomplished. I had to get comfortable with myself, own my story, my experience, what I know (and what I do not). Speak only to what you know, no one can take that away from you.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 31

BEFRIEND CHANGE

To her second point, what if I change my mind? What if I use my voice on “x topic” only to discover I am passionate about something else, or maybe even change my mind about something I have already publicly stated? Again, fair. I was on a call with my therapist just earlier today, and he pointed out to me that when I am afraid of others judging me (something I often do!) I am, in reality, judging myself first. Have you ever done that? Judged yourself before someone else could get the chance? You forfeit the game before you get on the field? I think this fear of “what if I change my mind” is just a judgement. Because when we realistically look at the people we admire, people who have shaped history, we more often than not see continual shifts and pivots. And I am not talking about small things. I am talking about massive adjustments to messaging and even flat out changing industries. My response to her wasn’t,“Oh, that won't happen”. Instead, I confirmed to her that it absolutely would. She would probably change, a hundred times over. And what a gift that is. What a gift. Action shares clues (some say it gives clarity) Without movement in some direction it’s hard to find the hidden pieces inside of us that we never knew were there. So what if you change? Know that you will. (That’s the point, isn’t it?)

USE IT OR LOSE IT

I honestly hate that phrase. Not sure why, it just sounds painful. It’s true though, either way.. You have something to say. Maybe your voice is a little trembling (or a lot). Maybe you were conditioned to believe your voice didn’t matter, or maybe your heart was broken when you tried using it and were shut down. Regardless, to find it again, you have to use it. Period. Whether it is an unformed sentence, a Haiku with too many words, a podcast with a less ideal microphone, an incomplete business idea… Use your voice anyway, even if it shakes. Because I promise, it won't shake for long.

32 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

Heather is a mental health therapist turned online entrepreneur where she helps outside the box leaders bring their services online in order to scale their impact. She is the host of two topranked podcasts, Unconventional Leaders and Happy Brain. https://www.instagram.com/heatherparady/ https://www.heatherparady.com/

Never say, “I can’t ” Always say,

“I'll try ”

PODCAST RECOMMENDATIONS We've added some podcasts that we truly enjoy listening to!

MINDSET

6 SIGNS YOU ARE STANDING IN YOUR POWER By Connie Milligan MSW, LCSW

The term “standing in your power” is said a lot, but what does it really mean? Is it some pinnacle of personal competency? Is it fulfilling your potential? Is it really about power at all? Having spent most of my career getting to a place where I can say I am standing in my power and now helping others do the same, I understand the steps needed to get there and the signs of having arrived. It is about personal empowerment, something most women aspire to obtain.

It is a two-stage process. First, it is an inside job. When you align your mind, body and soul, you create a powerful foundation. Second, the way you take this out to the world communicates your power. When your words and actions reflect what you have created inside, you are literally standing in your power. So, let me review the two stages and the 6 signs that indicate you are standing in your power. See how you are doing, and if you’re not quite there, read the tips on how to move forward.

You know that you are standing in your power when your words and actions reflect what you have created within yourself.

“ When you align your mind, body and soul, you create a powerful foundation ...the way you take this out to the world communicates your power” THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 35

To live with purpose takes plans and actions.

FIRST STAGE –THE INSIDE WORK OF ALIGNMENT 1.The Soul’s Work - You Have A Sense Of Purpose This is the most important step! When you do something that has personal meaning, you come from a place deep within your soul. It may be like heeding a call – to do something for others, to leave a mark, make a contribution, or be part of a cause that is important to you. Consider this, everything serves a purpose. Whatever you do will meet someone else’s need. The question to ask is does it have meaning for you? Does it match your dreams, imagination and longing for a certain life. Yes? Congratulations, you are living with purpose! If you aren’t sure, ask these questions. What would give you meaning, satisfaction and a sense of personal achievement? What do you value and how can you put that in action? Trust what comes to mind and allow yourself to fantasize about moving into that space. You can do it!

2. The Mind’s Work - Your Thoughts Are Creative And Goal Directed To live with purpose takes plans and actions. Your minds’ job is to create the template to follow through with your ideas. The more creative and goal directed you are, the more you are matching your soul’s purpose with your actions. It is deeply satisfying. If you are going through the motions of life or following someone else’s plan, the mind is not personally engaged and responsible. It creates imbalance with your sense of self, leading to dissatisfaction, even depression. Go back and check what your soul wants.

36 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

3.The Body’s Work - You Feel Passion For What You Are Doing How you feel tells you how you are really doing. The more passion you feel, the more energy and determination you have. It makes you brave and able to ride through disappointments or setbacks. You have the motivation to keep going no matter what. Your passion is your internal fuel. Not feeling the passion? Whoa, that’s a sign. Maybe you are tired and rundown and need a break, or maybe you are on the wrong track. Ask yourself and check in to see if you are really living your purpose. SECOND STAGE - THE OUTSIDE SIGNS OF PERSONAL POWER 4.You Speak Your Truth When you are in alignment with your mind, body and soul, you are an internal powerhouse. It becomes easier and necessary to speak your truth. You may have to be careful or hold your tongue to preserve the peace, but you do not lie to yourself or others about what your truth is. You are clear. If you are not speaking your truth, for what ever reason, you know you are giving your power away. Check and see why. Likely you are in a situation that is not right for you. Go back to the first stage and work on alignment. You may need to change the people, places or things to align with your truth.

5.You Set Boundary’s and Don’t Worry What Others think Being in your power is knowing how to set boundaries. When you are in tune with what you think and feel, speaking up and saying no comes easily. It takes time and practice to do it without conflict. When you are matter of fact, the power of it is hard to argue, and you make yourself understood. You feel the maturity of it. You know you are in trouble If you have a pattern of you saying yes when mean no, doing things you don’t want, or agreeing when you disagree. It means you are not in your power. The internal conflict it causes is written all over you. There are many reasons for this, please get help. 6.You’re In The Flow One of the clearest signs of being in your power is watching the synchronicity of what you want come in with ease. If you think it and it shows up, like magic, you are in the flow. It means the energy on the inside is a match for what you want on the outside. It’s the Law of Attraction in action! When things are a struggle and there is a lack of flow, stop and regroup. Something is out of balance – maybe it is the wrong time or not right for you. Go through the first 3 steps and see if you are in alignment with what you say you want. This can happen for many reasons, stop, look and reassess.

So, how did you do? Do you have all 6 of these signs of being in your power most of the time? Congratulations – you are standing in your power and I suspect you know and feel it from the inside out! If you are not quite there yet, don’t worry, you can get there. Reach out – there is lots of love and support out there. You deserve to be the powerhouse of your dreams!

Connie is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Transformationa l Life Coach and consultant and trainer for social justice reform. She has 4 decades experience, knows exactly what standing in your power is like and helps others to do the same. . https://www.facebook.com/ConniePMilliganCoaching https://spectrumtransformation.com/

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 37

STAY CURIOUS: 38 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

SEEK WONDER IN YOUR MESS & LESSONS IN THE PAIN by Tessa Leenders

Sometimes you must hurt to know, fall to grow, and lose to gain. Most of my greatest lessons I learned through pain. Once you ground yourself to sit in it, sit with it and truly listen to the signs, you realize on a deeper level how avoidance is only increasing the sense of suffering. Life makes it so easy for us to distract ourselves and choose coping mechanisms rather than going inwards and doing the work. Yet, that's how we learn, grow and evolve.

THE KNOCK-OUT

My health has always been one of my main focus points in life. So, it wasn't unusual that I ended up in a spa on that specific Sunday afternoon. Only, this spa day ended with a bang. I fainted, fell with my head on the granite floor. That day changed a lot. It took my doctor six weeks to refer me to a specialist. The fall wasn’t that bad, yet the remaining symptoms were pearsistent. Not feeling acknowledged or validated made me push through the pain the first days, even weeks. It was the start of my recovery and rehabilitation. One with challenges, losses, and gains. And mostly an inner journey.

STUCK & RESENTFUL

Confronted with my biggest fear: feeling weak and out of control. I got stuck within an unhealthy cycle of thoughts, pain, and fatigue. Needed people to show up. Yet I wasn't able to speak out that I did. I’ve never learned how to communicate my emotional needs or that I was even worth it expressing them. Instead, I felt resentment and anger for not receiving what I needed most, love and connection.

NEW WAYS

I started to sense the need to get to know me in depth. Exchange science, geeking out on medical research connected to brain trauma, for what some would call ‘alternative ways’. I tried it all: acupuncture, massages, regression, meditation, breathwork, cold water exposure, craniosacral, astrology, energy work, and even hand reading. I tried it all. No, I didn’t move over to the other side. There are no sides to healing, only learning and gaining knowledge.

MY APPROACH

A. Not having an opinion without first experiencing or undergoing something myself. B. Creating more of a balance between ratio and emotions. C. Broaden my experiences and create a customized approach for my healing instead of fitting into a ‘one size fits all. Ever since I was a young girl, I had that fire within. One that leads to discovering the unknown and survival - even when outcomes are unpredictable. We all have that fire, but most of us are afraid to get burned. Accepting the burns is what feeling alive means to me. Even if that means I need to push myself, make difficult choices, have an uncomfortable conversation.

BREAK THE SILENCE

Perhaps if we would stop questioning other people’s pain, start acknowledging it. Then, there would be more healing, open and heartwarming conversations, and connections. It only heavens the burden to add a layer of shame and misunderstanding on top of what people already experience. Be kind, be gentle, and stop seeing vulnerability as weakness. Dare to talk with people about their feelings, and might even learn something. So many feel that they need to stay silenced because it’s uncomfortable for others to hear that they experience pain. Frequently I share deep and personal matters, big questions I have, reflections, mistakes, and doubts. Hoping that creates space for others to do the same if they feel the need. We should all feel safe to do so without being judged or shamed. INSPIRATION

OR DISCOURAGE

WHAT IT BROUGHT ME

• Being more present. • The right people left and created space for new influences. • I care less about more things and more about the right things. • People show up in unexpected ways. • Stronger connections and improved relationships. • More capable of letting go.

PSYCHEDELIC THERAPY

One of the things that enabled me to do so is psychedelic therapy. Triggered by my accident and several other factors, my central nervous system operated from a trauma state, experiencing PTSD. I'm good at talking and describing feelings, but did I allow myself to feel them? Dissociating from my body used to help me avoid feeling pain and made me experience strength & invincibility. Looking for ways to reboot my disturbed brain. Reading about neuroplasticity pushed me towards psychedelic experiences in a therapeutic setting.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 39

Currently, I did five guided sessions, using proper doses of psilocybin truffles that brought me incredible depths, released me of some of my limiting beliefs, reconnected me to my body, and dissolved some of my childhood trauma. Not even to mention the business ideas I still need to launch into this world! I am both curious and a believer in the usage of psychedelics to treat TBI, post-concussion symptoms, depression, and PTSD. There is a new therapeutic wave coming. Decide for yourself if you dare to ride it. WAKING UP

I realize I've made an extensive internal shift in these past years. Partly is reflected by how I present myself and what I share. Doing this helps me to get closer to what's truly important. When you start doing that, others close to you might not recognize or even disagree. Sometimes that can be experienced as a painful part of your growth process. Though when a person decides not to show up, is not willing to ask questions, or finds ways to understand, they are either not capable of doing it or simply not interested enough in doing so. Understand this is ok. You don't have to be everybody's cup of tea. Imagine that. Spread yourself too thin. Bonding and connecting with everybody that passes by in life.

DISCOMFORT AND LETTING GO

I consciously chased discomfort for a while. Finally, I decided not to hold on to a job, let go of my apartment, exploring dating in a different setting—experiments where I placed myself in new and sometimes challenging situations. Discover what old patterns to break or triggers potentially turned into answers. That gave me so many insights. I feel grateful for all the investments I made towards healing. They made me stronger, more open to receiving and giving love, and resilient towards change. I’m now willing to let go and invite a life lighter and with more flow, less fear, control, and resistance. Can you let go of old fear, pain, and limiting beliefs?

40 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

RESURRECTION

Once I felt comfortable showing my vulnerability, I received care and love from expected and unexpected sources. That contributed to rebuilding my sense of self-worth. Finally able to embrace the traits that make me me. Looking back on the past years, I am proud of my curious mind. It craves growth and expansion, drawn to knowledge and new perspectives that challenge old beliefs. By understanding and practicing compassion, things become less messy. I used to be result-driven. The 'hate the journey, love the destination' kind. That shifted to embracing it all. Even in moments when not achieving preferred outcomes, I now love the stories created by them. The war wasn't on the outside. The win was within. Once I stopped fighting, I started to experience more inner peace and the symptoms slowly started to disappear.

Tessa Leenders is a Social Media Manager and Branding & Marketing Specialist. https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessaleenders/

YOU HAVE MORE

Power THAN YOU ARE AWARE. BUILD THE TRUST AND

Step into it!

BLENDING YOUR CAREER WITH YOUR TRUE SELF TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS By Kim Normand Dobrin Did you know that on average, women hold 12.1 jobs during their lifetime? According to Pew Research Center, 47.7% of the global workforce is made up of women, however, only 49% of women are happy in their current jobs (I believe this is an optimistic number). To me, this statistic is shocking. It means that every day, millions of women get up knowing they will spend their day miserable, or at the very least, unfulfilled. I do hold out hope that with an average of 12.1 jobs in a lifetime, each woman will have the opportunity to grow and move into a position that truly makes them happy. I believe that happiness and joy are of the utmost importance in everything we do in life. According to scientists, higher levels of serotonin, the “happiness chemical” in our brains, increase feelings of well-being, confidence, and belonging. As humans, we have been conditioned that happiness comes from achievements and success that fit into social norms and standards. Joy is an internal process that we have control over. No matter what is happening in our outside world, we can choose to be in a state of joy. I remember my very first job. It was in an office. Not only was I miserable, so was everyone around me. The highlight of my day was making coffee in the little kitchen and eventually walking out the doors to head home. I did not last long in this position.

Throughout my journey I have accumulated a range of wisdom that I would like to share in hopes that you may resonate with it and find it useful in living a more fulfilling life: • There is a greater plan than yours. • Your inner strength is greater than you'll ever imagine. • Life takes tenacity, commitment, discipline, and involvement. • Use your inner wisdom ... You have earned it! • Trust your gut – ALWAYS! • Fill your life with meaning. • Accept that we are ALL works in progress. • Self-discovery is your power! The more you know YOU, the more you will create and BE. • You must go within in order to live without. NOMADIC

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I left that job because I realized that for me to be happy, I needed to find something that resonated with my heart, and was aligned with my belief system. Truthfully, my dream was not to have a career at all. Coming from a childhood fraught with trauma, all I wanted was to be the best wife and mother I could be. As the saying goes – “Man Plans and God laughs.” I went with God’s plan. We all have moments that we can remember when our life changed trajectory. Mine came after seeing Schindler’s List. I walked out sobbing and decided then and there– if I wanted my children to be raised in a better world, I needed to get involved. Every choice I have made since has been based on this commitment. With this new line of thinking, my world was changed. Through all the challenges and wins, I have been committed to my own self-growth. I realized early on that I am only limited by my capacity. And as I began to grow as a person, these intentional choices led me on a new career path. The greatest challenge for me was to bring all the pieces of myself into one congruent being. I wanted my work to reflect who I am, for it to be more important than just something I did. I have been blessed that my work has led me to assist thousands of women in improving their lives through education, self-discovery, and the power of love. Witnessing these women change and grow into more positive versions of themselves never gets old. When I first meet these women, there is almost always one common denominator, they are scattered and pulled apart in too many directions. Their roles as a sister, child, parent, friend, employee, and more cover them in a blanket of confusion and anxiety. With each role, they desperately try to be 100% of everything to everyone at all times. However, In doing this, they lose who they are under all the pressure. Slowly, as I developed an award-winning international career, I realized my work was no longer just something I did. What I do for a living is who I am, it is my very breath and being. I had achieved continuity. On my way here I often faced anxiety and apprehension starting new projects, yet something deep inside of me would not allow me to turn back and stop. So, I learned to trust that if I jumped off the cliff, my wings would appear. And they always have. It took me fully trusting my vision to make the world a little better off than how I found it.

The skills and tools I’ve developed have held me together as I journeyed through my life. I have learned how impossible it is to give 100% to every aspect of your life all at once. I believe that when you are fully involved in life, it will move in ebbs and flows allowing you time for everything important to you- when the time is right. And YES as women we all multitask, and we normally do it well. However, when you multitask TOO MUCH and give away TOO MUCH of who you are, you will deplete. So choose cautiously and prioritize. Think of it as juggling 7 balls … 4 are plastic and 3 are glass. Which balls are glass can change over time, but make sure you don’t drop what is most fragile. I am now in my 6th career endeavor. I know that I won’t get to the 12.1 because I made choices years ago that led me to be happy with the work I do. I grew within the 6 roles that I have been blessed to venture through and I have blossomed. We all have our own journeys based on our needs, values, and choices. Don’t copy or compare yourself to others, it’s a recipe for failure. Compare yourself to YOU. Be the best YOU you can be. Sometimes this will take baby steps, and sometimes big leaps, just keep moving forward.

Kim Normand Dobrin is an award winning global leader and Ashoka fellow, committed to creating positive impact in children’s lives. She has a 30-year, internationally awarded career in Human Rights, Education, Empowerment & breaking the cycle of poverty. www.freethemindco.com

www.kimnormanddobrin.com

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 43

RESTARTING: THE STORY AFTER MOTHERHOOD By Almeta Dellagnolo

Motherhood forced me to embrace all facets of myself. It taught me that my worth was not defined by how others chose to label me and allowed me to connect with and enhance aspects of my most authentic self. Here’s how I made that transition. As women, we often define ourselves by the roles that we play, I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a caregiver, I am a career woman. We are expected to seamlessly transition between these titles, professional by day, mother by night, donning each hat according to whichever behavior is currently expected of us. Throughout these transitions, though, it can be very easy to lose touch with what defines us as unique individuals, the self that loves art, the self that writes poetry or delights in interior design, the self that likes to get dirt under her fingernails or watch a thunderstorm. I was 23 when I became a full-time wife and mother, leaving a management position at a large international retail firm to stay home and raise our daughter. A transition that I thought would be an easy one turned out to be one of the most difficult challenges I have faced. It would lead me down a path of self-discovery, have me questioning my worth and force me to face internalized beliefs that I had formed around what IS worthy. 44 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

I associated so much negativity with the persona that is “domestic”, this idea of the aproned Hausfrau so far from whom I had envisioned myself to be that I experienced an internal crisis. I felt like I had to apologize every time I was asked the question: “What do you do?” The word “maternal” is the opposite of sexy in our society, suggesting a plump amorphous creature who lives only for her children. In reality, I discovered a love of creating, a deep appreciation for nature, a reclaiming of my heritage, I realized that being a mother and the decision to focus on raising our children did not diminish me, rather it was one aspect of the many colorful facets that I was comprised of. In many ways, I feel that a huge opportunity is being lost, the women that are raising the future generations are not being given the resources and support that would empower them to fulfill their potential whether it be support for a new mother transitioning back to work, a mother deciding to stay home, or a mother who has been absent from the work force stepping into that role once again.

The incredible speed at which things evolve and change leaves one disconnected and makes it difficult to find an easy entry back into the workforce. This was one of the main factors that encouraged me to start my own business. Then, of course, there were feelings of fear and doubt. I often felt like I had no right to be doing what I was doing. I struggled with every failure and was on the verge of quitting. I am so very glad that I didn’t. Instead, what I learned we all have unique gifts and talents, we all have something magnificent to offer humanity, especially, if we are brave enough to look beyond the labels that limit us.

https://www.instagram.com/babaloojewelry/

babaloojewelry.com

Almeta Dellagnolo is a Indigenous jewelry artist and designer, she enjoys combining her love of contemporary design with traditional indigenous materials to create pieces that empower and inspire. THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 45

babaloojewelry.com

At 55 years of age, I left a 15-year position as an associate professor to start a new business. I had been a whistleblower at the college and the fallout was ugly. I was gaslit for two years by an administration that was incompetent at best, corrupt at worst.

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR CAREER By Antonia Semanskee

I learned that content marketing is the best way to sell online, and there’s a few skills you need to be successful at it: Copywriting skills Design skills Research skills Video editing skills Engagement skills Data analysis skills

When Covid hit, I decided to start an online business. I’d never built a business and wasn’t sure I could transition out of academia. But I knew one thing: I wasn’t going back.

How to Find Your Jam Once committed to Instagram, I realized quickly that I could be easily overlooked on this platform. At the time, I didn’t know what the hole in the market was that I could fill or how to stand out online in the sea of marketers.

Online Business Skills I took a deep dive into the Instagram platform, and it was a smart decision because it’s the best platform to demonstrate expertise and build an engaged community that attracts leads.

At one point, I found myself thinking: ‘what am I doing? I must be the oldest person on the platform.’How could I compete? I did not want to build a community by posting selfies –as a business that would be a bad move!

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I decided to take a different approach with my brand. I started sharing my journey and making real connections with the people in my tiny community. I used my teaching skills to help my followers do all the things I was learning. I posted content that was based on all the data I was tracking and analyzing. My community began to grow – no selfies needed. I began attracting businesses that needed what I offered. I committed to posting every day, no matter what. I worked endlessly to keep improving my design and copywriting skills. I analyzed data and made changes. I attracted my first client at 1K followers, and my account grew from 2K to 11K engaged followers within 11 months. I’ve built a reputation as a trusted Instagram resource. I am on my way to building a certification program to help social media managers build authority and social proof so they can attract highquality clients, provide more value, and make money with social media.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 49

How Your Age is an Advantage I believe that my age and experience played a part in being successful in an online business. The wisdom that comes with age was key to understanding: That nothing worth having happens overnight. Building a business takes 3-5 years. There are no shortcuts. That persistence, consistency, and patience are imperative to success. Doing things you don’t want to do – whether you feel like it or not – is the only way to get there. That it takes time to understand your market, the needs, and where your skills can fill the holes in the online space. That the key to selling online is your relationships. Relationships are based on trust, and it takes time to build trust in the online space.

Antonia Semanskeeis a college professor and Instagram marketing expert. She teaches businesses how to increase revenue through social media marketing. www.crushyourengagement.com https://www.instagram.com/crush_your_engagement/

Tips For Building an Online Business 1. Get Ryan Levesque’s book Choose before you begin your online endeavor. You’ll want to make sure there’s a market that can afford your service. 2. Start building an Instagram community immediately. You’ll need to learn the skills above unless you hire a professional to create your content for you. 3. Get clear on what you can do and for whom. Your message needs to be immediately clear to profile visitors. 4. Create 3-5 main overarching topics to talk about that reflect what you do. Your content needs consistency and must support your message. 5. Don’t let anyone do your engagement. It must be YOU. People can tell when someone external is engaging – and it’s off-putting. You’ll lose the people who are truly interested in growing with you. 6. Find a core group of people in your industry who get it and build a tribe. This will be the group of people who will help you build your community.

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you don't need magic

to turn dreams into reality

all you need is

a strategy.

LESSONS LEARNED 38 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

FROM RUNNING A FILM FESTIVAL AND A THANK YOU by Lilly Han

This past month, our social good company Hyphenova (HYP.TV) showcased 25+ films from around the world in a film festival that took place in an immersive metaverse. We wanted to take this time to personally thank all of the amazing creators and filmmakers who participated with us. We learned so much from their stories, vision, creativity and confidence and believe that others can and will do the same. As part of the festival, we asked the filmmakers for their tips and suggestions to other creators and filmmakers. We have highlighted their words of wisdom to inspire others. The below have been paraphrased for brevity and clarity.

Lawrence Ojugbeli (Manifest & Freedom Fighters) A lot of times, people need to realize that if your company, client, or friends are coming to you to work with you, it's because they trust YOU. They trust your vision. They trust you as a creative and they want that collaborative experience. Don't just be quiet, don't just sit back. Because you're not going to grow that way. You're not going to find your voice that way. You'll essentially just be putting yourself in a box. I know a lot of people just work with their friends or a few clients, but if you only do what those friends or those clients want, then eventually you're going to lose your voice. And your voice will be a combination of those four, five people. And that's not you and it's very important that everyone, everything you do is who you are and what you want.

For every project I do, I try to learn something. For example, if a client says, we just need something simple like a logo, and say, I’m also trying to learn 3D right now, I’m gonna throw a little 3D logo in there because I want to learn this program better. Sometimes you’ll fail. You’ve got to fail in order to find your voice. And fail sounds like such a tough word. But you go back and see projects that you're not as proud of, but that's why you keep working so that you can have ones that you are proud of as well. Will Gaines (Origin With Will) Expand your network. If you hang out with a lot of people who look a certain way, start hanging out with some others. Look to some inspiration that is not reflective of what you usually do. It will change your life because it changed mine. So diversify, become inclusive. I love TV. I want to make TV. But what I was really doing was consuming the art. I was watching shows, I was watching movies, I was watching anime. And so I was like, You know what, why not? When I watch from now on, I take notes on what I like. What is it that I actually like about anime was the art and the cuts, and the storyline and the character development. And so now I have these crazy long running lists of all the things I like. So that way, my guilty pleasures actually became productive to my overall work life in the pursuit of what I wanted to do. The number one thing that helped me out was changing the idea in my head that I wasn't being productive. I was being productive. I just needed to learn how. So, if you’re at home and like, wow, I'm so unproductive. No, just find a way to make that thing productive.

BRIDGET MCGARRY (GENERATION WRECKS)

I think that if you're a screenwriter, and you've been thinking about an idea for a really long time, just start writing it and don't stop. The thing is, a lot of people start scripts, and they are like, oh, come back to it. And then it never happens. You just have to keep motivated. And everyone's first draft is terrible. It’s not going to be perfect. So don't expect it to be incredible. Don't try to edit as you go, just get that first draft done, so you have it down on paper, and then you can go back and make those edits and make those changes. You've got to get it down on paper first, stop thinking up here, and just do it.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 53

VICTORIA LEIGH (GENERATION WRECKS)

My number one piece of advice is to read other scripts. That's, I think, something that we had an advantage of as actors, we already were reading scripts from a really young age. So when you go through, and are like, I really liked that movie, go and read the script, try to absorb. How do they write action lines? How do they write dialogue? How did this action line translate to the screen? And then, as an actor, I think you just have to keep putting yourself out there, and keep practicing and honing your craft.

KEVIN MORALES (GENERATION WRECKS)

Learning and getting better at something is not a bad thing. It'll put you miles ahead of all the people who don't think that matters. Even Quentin Tarantino studied acting and the root of a lot of his screenplays is just knowing what would make a great scene. So improve yourself and get better at your art. I have a really fun filmmaking community that I interact with on Twitter. And there is a community of people out there who really do care about movies beyond the box office. I try to foster that community a little bit. I'm pretty interactive there and it's pretty easy to talk to me.

MYLES GRIER (REMEMBER TO BREATHE IN THE DARK)

I would definitely suggest getting in classes, reading plays, trying some theater. Really understanding the difference between TV and film, how big theater is and how intimate and subtle and grounded TV and film is, along with pacing in TV and film.

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NATASHA YOUNGE (GOING HOME)

One of the reasons that I did start the Younge Hollywood Blast was so that I could see what was out there and really connect with people. I'm just constantly seeing what is happening, what's at the forefront, what's coming next. There's so much opportunity to use social media proactively for our career development, as opposed to just entertainment and saying, Hey, look at me. It’s very important to see what are other people doing.The industry is a living and breathing one, and it is constantly evolving. So get out there, start networking, listen to different podcasts and social audio spaces, listen to different people who may not be doing the exact same thing you're doing. ANAMIA FRIAS (RUN)

There was a movie night with an actor over IG and we would all just chime in. I would send him a DM, saying something like “oh, I don't know this” and he would send me a YouTube video back. This person was really here for his community. It's just great to just build relationships with people. People need to be patient, you know, and it's a long journey, like I said, but it's all worth it at the end if you're positive about everything you know. Everything is little by little in relationships. Hey, how are you? You know, you look nice today. You know, little by little.

KIRSTIN PFEIFFER (FAITHFULLY))

You actually have to do and be with other people to practice. Getting involved in local organizations, whether that be SAG or writers groups, or putting like feelers out there, like put posts on Facebook, like, hey, I want to start this Writers Group, or I want to start this acting group. You’d be amazed at how many people want to help if you're willing to put it out there.

Gabe Mejia (NYC NFT) Go to Twitter spaces, and listen, and ask questions, because everyone just wants you to succeed. Look, we're all learning, so don't worry about like, Oh, should I do this? Should I do that? Just do it and then you will learn and continue to create. Everyone can carve out their own life path and in the NFT community. Go in and learn and ask. I host a space where I help onboard people and give them tips for people when they're starting out. John Ward (The Capitol of Nowhere and Finding Perfect) I think any, you know, a lot of artists will say you're never you're never finished, right? Like, if you give an artist infinite time to work on something, they would still be tinkering with it. And I think filmmakers are pretty similar. So having a deadline was also important to me, though to like, say, Okay, I need to have it done by this date. Because I told people that it would be done by then was important.

Jean-Luc Julien (Limbo and Rewinder) Just do it. It's one thing to think about it and have an idea, but just do it. Try to try to instill discipline in your life. Try to set aside a certain amount of time. There are so many distractions in life, to keep you away from your art. And that's cool, because that's part of life, but just try to chisel out some time to focus on your art. I think that maybe deep down within every human being there's a need to create there's a need to express. It's not about the product, it's about the process. So get into the process, learn to love it, learn to hate it, but just keep going and make your movie. It'll make the world a better place if you're doing what you love to do.

https://hyphenova.com/ https://www.instagram.com/lillyhanscot tie/

Lilly Han is the Founder of HYPHENOVA (HYP.TV) as well as the Founder of Propel Program, an incubator for underestimated early stage founders. She has two decades of experience across public, private, and startup ecosystems and is a committed leader in expanding opportunities for underestimated and underrepresented communities. THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 55

STEPPING INTO THE POWER OF COMMUNITY by Ali Dunn, CPCC

Far too often, I see women trying to do it alone. As an executive coach, I meet with high-achieving professionals who are overwhelmed, frustrated, and burnt out. They are balancing work, relationships, and well-being, leading them to feel so overwhelmed they can’t see the light ahead. They are juggling it all and struggle to ask for help. One of the first questions I ask my clients almost always revolves around community. Do you have a support network? Who are you spending your time with, and what do they bring you? Usually, I am met with a blank stare followed by a response of, “I do everything myself, and I don’t have time for community.” As women, we have been fed a tale that asking for help is a sign of weakness; that we should be able to do everything on our own. And if as one person you are unable to meet these impossible standards – there is something wrong with you. Sound familiar? I remember being a victim of that lie. I couldn’t manage my life by myself but was too ashamed to ask for help. I was a martyr. And my own worst enemy. I spent five years of motherhood completely misaligned and not in my power. I went through a long period of isolation and depression. After the birth of my first daughter, I chose to take a pause from my career to stay at home with her. 56 I JANUARY - MARCH 2022

At the time, I thought trading my salary for childcare was irresponsible and undesirable. How hard could it be to be a stay-at-home mom? I didn’t realize the damage it would do to my selfesteem and ability to feel confident. Not having my own professional outlet and community would cost me my livelihood. I was told I should feel lucky to stay at home with my child and that it was normal to feel sad or emotional, it was just part of the new mom process. I was powerless and without community. My family was 5,000 miles away, and I was too ashamed to admit my feelings of despair. After years of suffering, it became evident that no one was going to roll out a red carpet of happiness, fulfillment, or purpose for me. My sleepless nights and perfunctory playdates had gotten the best of me, and I was a fraction of the carefree and joyful person I had been before motherhood. It was time to take responsibility for my actions. I had backpacked through Europe at age 19. Why couldn’t I pick up the phone to find a therapist or join a networking group? No longer satisfied with the status quo, I knew it was time to get on the empowerment train.

The 1st stop: Therapy. I sought medication for my sadness, and my therapist prescribed exercise (it worked). I considered walking away from my life. My therapist taught me how to live in it. I was scared to talk to my husband. My therapist showed me how. And finally, one day, the big question came, so loud and thunderous through the words of Mary Oliver, “Tell me, just what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Yikes. I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet, I realized I had not yet reached the end of my empowerment journey. The 2nd train stop: Coaching and Community. I needed to be with like-minded people. Creative, independent women were out there making an impact, I just needed to find them. For months I had been toying with the idea of signing up for a workshop designed for women seeking clarity on their next steps. I struggled to commit as I worried about how the workshop would play out. What if everyone laughed at me? What if I was the only one unsure of her strengths, talents, and desires? In a fit of desperation, I took the plunge and signed up anyway. It turned out that weekly meetings with 17 women for six weeks changed the course of my life. I was not alone. I was in a community. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. I felt powerful. The power of community opened the doors to my “what’s next.” The idea that I could be both powerful and vulnerable was like the homecoming I never had. Being unapologetically myself and knowing these women had my back was a gift. I could turn to them for encouragement, feedback, and hope. This community (in addition to working with my coach), was the springboard that launched my coaching and entrepreneurial journey. Since then, I have run numerous community-building coaching groups for career-driven women and entrepreneurs. The common thread? Knowing that you are not the only one going through this and that it is more than okay to ask for help. As Daniel Siegal, MD notes in Aware, “Relationships are not icing on the cake; they are the cake. In fact, they are the main course as well as the dessert."

7 Signs You Need Community: You feel isolated and lack support in your personal and professional growth. You long for meaningful conversations and relationships but struggle to make those connections in your current community. You often second guess yourself, have a hard time making decisions, and would like to know you are not alone in your feelings. You find yourself on the periphery of conversations, but your current connections do not share the same value system. You are the leader in your group yet don’t have mentorship. You are running your own business without a board of directors and are looking for like-minded individuals to hold you accountable and share insights. You generally feel lost and seek a fresh start.

So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to have your cake and eat it, too.

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THE ZIVA WAY BOOKAZINE | 57

5 Action Steps You Can Take Today to Find Community: Know your values. Determine your personal mission statement and seek out people who share similar perspectives. For example, if you value health, join a group led by a wellness coach. Set goals while you meet new people. Find a professional networking group that matches your career goals. There is a group for everyone and everything! Women in tech, women creatives, associations within your profession, the list is endless. Join a co-working space. Often these places have workshops and activities that facilitate connections so you can meet new people without the pressure of a formal networking setting. Reflect on what is missing in your life and seek out or create a group to fill that void. Feeling full socially but lacking meaningful conversation? Join a non-fiction book club, take an online class, start a growth mindset hiking club, or sign-up for a business mastermind group. You decide what you need! Join a team. Athleticism doesn’t have to end in high school. Join a tennis or softball team, say yes to pickleball, or start training for a 5K with your local running group. Step into your power!

www.alidunn.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/alidunncoach/

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Ali Dunn, CPCC, is a community builder and facilitator, speaker, and empowerment coach for executives and entrepreneurs. She helps creative and ambitious women shed their limiting beliefs so they can step out of their comfort zone and into their power.

Now that it is out there, let’s talk about how you can get closer to making it a reality.

2 PART TWO

Learn what your individual EMOTIONAL MAKE-UP is, OVERCOME your FEAR, build your SELF-ESTEEM,

IDENTIFY STRENGTH, Find out how your different INTEREST & TALENT intersect, And who you want to be!

C ON T A I N S E I G H T P A G E S

CREATING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS YOURSELF & OVERCOMING OBSTACLES

education

WORKBOOK ADDITION This workbook is designed to walk you through the process of understanding what your next steps in life need to be & help you to build confidence to take these steps.

DR. KINGA MNICH

INTRODUCTION TO THE GUIDE Achieving your goals and making your dreams come true is not just a question of having the necessary skills or grit to work through the obstacles that will cross your path. It is also a question of understanding your fears, knowing how to overcome them, and being able to push your boundaries. The women in this magazine and their stories are proof of what can be achieved through taking the necessary steps. Overcoming your fear can be as easy as finding the answer to the question: what is the worst thing that could happen? Or as complex as understanding where your anxiety truly comes from and learning that it might not be yours, to begin with.

Growing up as an immigrant in a foreign country after leaving for several years in a so-called immigration camp in Germany has taught me a lot about resilience, standing up for oneself, and being in control of a situation in a way that it won't overwhelm me. That, combined with ten years of research and studies in Sociology, philosophy, and social psychology, have primed me for understanding the intersection between our individual and collective behaviors. Fear arises from this intersection, from the discrepancy between collective and personal beliefs—the disparity between our own stories and the stories that we have been told.

THE ZIVA WAY MAGAZINE | 62

LET'S GET STARTED! By Dr. Kinga Mnich

Where did the time go? A moment ago, you were sitting under a tree contemplating your future then found yourself living that dream. You’ve got it all, not necessarily the way you pictured it. But you can say with certainty that you’ve made it. But why does it still feel like something is missing? That curious voice pushes you to continue with your search: and I know how tiring that can be. Your fulfillment could easily be found in the next opportunity. And how could you say no to this? Being multi-passionate, having the ability to learn comfortably, and experiencing FOMO more than you would like to admit, is not just a distraction but also takes a lot of your energy - energy you could be putting into your next project.

That crazy big dream that you had so many years ago. That dream that you were planning out so carefully. You know that you are financially secure, you have achieved more than many (even though it doesn’t feel like it some days), you are talented, but you don’t know how to bring more clarity and structure into your life to make that crazy big dream reality. Allowing yourself to reconnect to your feelings and values is about creating clarity and finally finding the right motivation to do the things you always wanted to do. And bring more joy and fulfillment into your life.

All this hard work that you have put in the last years had a purpose: You never sought money or acknowledgment. Building a career was a vehicle towards making your dream come true. It was part of the plan. But along the way, it became scary to say out loud what it is that you are dreaming of & with time it started to seem naive. It’s time for you to spill the beans and be honest with yourself.

WHAT IS YOUR CRAZY BIG DREAM?

By Dr. Kinga Mnich

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CHANGE YOUR

Vol. 1 January 2022

MIND

NEW FRONTIER A 2o page exclusive workbook to start 2022 Revisit last year and dive into what’s next.

Learn what boundaries you need to set and which steps you need to take.

ZIVA

JANUARY 2022

SUMMARIZING 2021 (OR THE LAST 6 MONTHS)

The new year is around the corner. Before you make any new years resolutions it is helpful to revisit the old year and summarize all your achievements, accomplishments, unfinished projects and the things that didn’t go so well. Allow yourself to take the time and reflect on a beautiful year. List 12 things that went exceptionally well this year? 01...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 02. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 03. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 04. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 05. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 06. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 07. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 08. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 09. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 10. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 11. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 12. .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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WHEN I FIRST LOOKED BACK AT THE EARTH, STANDING ON THE MOON, I CRIED. Alan Shepard talking about his time on the lunar surface during the Apollo 14 mission in February 1971.

WHICH GOALS DID YOU ACCOMPLISH? Think about the goals that you have set at the beginning of the year and the goals that you developed through out the year. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. ..............................................................................................

ALOW YOURSELF TO LOOK BACK THROUGH THE LENSE OF JOY & EXCITEMENT.

Make sure that you have accompanying visual content that immediately catches the eye. Include photos, illustrations, and other graphics to match.

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LIVE IN THE MOMENT. – @Dr.KingaMnich

What is the happiest memory that you have from this year? And yes, of course you can write about more than one? ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... What did you learn throughout the year? What worked well and what didn’t? ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

THE ZIVA WAY MAGAZINE | 69

What should you do differently next time? Is there something that you shouldn’t repeat? ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Which areas could use an improvement? Are there any areas that give you a stomach ache when you think about them? Or do your chics get hot? Or do you just want to go to bed and sleep when you think about certain topics? 1..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 2. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 3. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 4. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 5. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .

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THE ZIVA WAY MAGAZINE | 64

Which projects are not finalized? Think about everything that you worked on. Are there any projects or topics that you need to continue working on throughout 2021? 1..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 2. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 3. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 4. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 5. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... . What are the big dreams that you want to carry with you into 2022? Think about the next 5, 10, 20 years. Where do you see yourself when you close your eyes and think about the next years? What are you dreaming of when you close your eyes and allow yourself to just listen to yourself?

1..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 2. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 3. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 4. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 5. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... . Why do this dreams matter to you so much? ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

THE ZIVA WAY MAGAZINE | 71

List 12 goals for 2022! Think of your big and small goals. Any thing from travel plans, changing things in your home, changing your work, goals for your business, your family and anything that is important for your life. One goals represents one month. PS: Remember you don't have to write down your goals if it doesn't align with your 2022 vision. Your goals should be holistic. in order to ensure that you are living a fulfilled life.

1..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 2. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 3. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 4. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 5. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................... .7..................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 8. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 9. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................... 10. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 11. .................................................................................................................................................................................................................. 12. ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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Self-Sabotage

WANT SOMETHING & THEN GO ABOUT IS WHEN WE SAY WE

MAKING SURE IT DOESN'T

HAPPEN. -Alyce Cornyn-Selby

SEPTEMBER 2021

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

KINGAMNICH.COM

10 TRICKS YOU CAN USE TO STAY ON TRACK. One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy, says philosopher Alain de Botton by Dr. Kinga Mnich

START SAYING NO It might seem obvious that the only way that you can start creating more time for yourself and your big project is to say no. But it doesn’t mean that saying no is easy. It takes a lot of courage for a person like you to stand your ground. Write down a couple of friendly ways on how to say no and keep that note with you at all times. Remind yourself that saying no is the new way of saying yes to opportunities to make you feel fulfilled.

Suggestion in this ebook are based on the 2017 Research Masculinity & Emotions, as well as over 10 years experience in the field of personal development.

Not just yourself, but also others. This is a waste of your time. And I know how precious time is for you. The moment you stop judging, you will not just have more energy, creativity, and time, but you will finally be able to let go of the last blockages in your mind. This is what will ultimately set you free. Mainly because if you judge others, you judge yourself inherently. Judging also creates a scarcity mindset.

VISUALIZE AND WRITE OUT YOUR BIG CRAZY DREAM It is OK. You might have forgotten parts of your dreams. That’s why you are here ready to work on this. Because you have accepted the fact that the inner voice will not stop until you start working on achieving your goals. Take a weekend off and make a collage with anything that inspires you: start writing letters to your future self, allow yourself to be that child that was sitting under the tree. Give yourself permission to be creative and playful. Let it all out.

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STOP JUDGING.

IT’S TIME FOR SETTING NEW HABITS If you are honest with yourself, you may recognize that the “oh-so” dreaded routine sneaked into your life through habits that keep you from reaching your goals. Identify these habits by making a list of your daily routine. Go through each habit and mark it as helpful or unhelpful. Once you know which habits are counterproductive, start overwriting them with patterns that will bring you closer to reaching your dream.

KINGAMNICH.COM

FIND YOUR WHY This might sound familiar, and if it doesn’t, you can pat yourself on the back for having started looking for solutions. Your WHY is your purpose. The reason why you are getting up every morning, the inner voice that tells you to move forward and keep on looking. The wisdom that this is not it; there is more. Why are you looking for more? Why are you trying to create something more significant? Why do you want to be impactful in this world? Once you can answer these questions, you are halfway towards making your big crazy dream come true.

Revisit your why, and your values regularly keep you on track. At times your direction might change. You might find yourself at a point where one of your values doesn’t resonate with you anymore. That is ok as long as you can connect your new values to your why. Try to develop a value ladder.

STRATEGIZE

Take time to define what you are willing to do or willing to give up doing. Your strategy is essential for two reasons: 1. To know what you need to do and 2. To keep track of the progress so you can celebrate it. The celebration is vital to keep you motivated and engaged. Because making your dream come true can sometimes be a lonely journey. Keeping a fostering a positive mindset is what will keep you going through some of the difficult times. A strategy also creates confidence, which is an essential part of making your business a reality and success.

BUILD A STRONG NETWORK A strong network will support you along your way, and quite often, you will be able to find answers to some questions in your community. Cherish the people around you, but also evaluate your relationships. Every person in your life should have a role. And sometimes we have to let go of people when we realize that they are draining our energy. Never stop applying trick No. 1: Say no when it doesn’t fit the bigger purpose.

Now that you know what is driving you and why you can’t sit still no matter how much you try, it is time for you to create a strategy that will map out a step-by-step plan towards reaching your goal. Do you need additional skills? Is there anything that you need to learn? Such as other languages, coding, photography, or anything else to make your dream come true. Layout each step that you need to take.

CELEBRATE EVERY ACCOMPLISHMENT

REVISIT YOUR WHY AND YOUR VALUES

MAKE SURE TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS Yes, every small step forward is an accomplishment. The moment you start moving is the moment you are ensuring that your dream will become a reality. It is no longer a question of “if,” but rather when.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKANZINE | 75

Find the freedom to do what you want to do.

EXERCISE STOP JUDGING

STEP #1: You are responsible for your own story, and you have the right to re-write it. Start by writing down five personal strengths and five achievements that you are proud of.

STEP #2. Identify the areas that you would like to see a mind shift or habit change.

A belief that you hold on to even though it is stopping you from moving forward?

A habit that you would like to let go of.

One characteristic that you admire in others and wish you could cultivate it

A person that is making doubt yourself and you need to set boundaries around.

Boundaries would you like to set.

THE ZIVA WAY BOOKANZINE | 77

Goals

LETS WRITE YOUR GOALS

In accordance with the above-written statements, what would you like to change and goals can you set yourself to do that: Write here

Write here

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Action Priority Matrix Creating a strategy starts by creating time and space to focus on what is essential on your patch in reaching your goals.

NOT URGENT

DO IT RIGHT AWAY

PLAN TO DO ASAP

DELEGATE

DUMP OR POSTPONE

TNATROPMI

URGENT

TNATROPMI TON THE ZIVA WAY BOOKANZINE | 79

BEHIND THE SCENES!

Thank you so much for working your way through this workbook. I hope that you enjoyed it and gained some clarity. Before you move on, I would like to give you a look behind the scene at how I work with my clients. Becoming your best version is a continuous process. The more we learn, the more we know what we don't know. But this is what keeps you and me going. At times the journey can get complex. However, building a base that allows you to stay focused and confident ensures your long-term success. The Ziva Way Philosophy encompasses that process and creates the structure for navigating through the obstacles that come your way. The following pages give you an insight into what you could expect when working with me. Transparency is a key element of my work.

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T H E

Z I V A

W A Y

POWER SMART SUCCESSFUL SUPPORTED

01/22

JANUARY - MARCH 2022

04 05

01 06

Dr. Kinga Mnich www.kingamnich.com

Merel van der Wouden LL.M www.merelvanderwouden.com

Connie Milligan

Tessa Leenders

www.ConnieMilligan.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tessaleenders/

Wren Blae Zimmerman https://www.wrenblae.com/ Deborah A. Coviello https://dropinceo.com/ Adina Tatum https://www.juliettamarket.com/

Chengetai Chikadaya

Renée Warren

Kendra Williams

Kim Normand Dobrin

https://conceptafrika.com/

https://www.wewildwomen.com/

www.blacknbrownitm.com Lilly Han

www.freethemindco.com

https://hyphenova.com/our-team

Antonia Semanskee

Ali Dunn

https://www.crushyourengagement.com/

www.alidunn.com

Almeta Dellagnolo https://babaloojewelry.com/

06 hello@thezivaway.com

Heather Parady https://www.heatherparady.com/

Our Staff. Editor in Chief Dr. Kinga Mnich Deputy Editor Hannah Sword Senior Editors Ivana Madzarevic Executive Art Director Amanda Harper Contributors Kendra Williams, Merel van der Wouden, Chengetai Chikadaya, Renée Warren, Wren Blae Zimmerman, Deborah A. Coviello, Adina Tatum, Heather Parady, Connie Milligan MSW, LCSW, Tessa Leenders, Kim Normand Dobrin, Antonia Semanskee, Almeta Dellagnolo, Lilly Han, Ali Dunn Chief Photography Editor Dr. Kinga Mnich Photographer Janneke Nooij, Cristy Elaine, Dr. Kinga Mnich, Ayna Lorenzo Associate Art Director Amanda Harper Photography Editor Amanda Harper Associate Photography Editor Janaya Combs Intern Janaya Combs

Permanent contributors Chengetai Chikadaya Connie Milligan MSW Kim Normand Dobrin EDITORIAL OFFICES 624 Andover Village PL , Lexington, KY 40509 +1-8648148810 / hello@thezivaway.com

SUBSCRIPTIONS hello@thezivaway.com

The bookazine is published by The Ziva Way, LLC. Kingamnich.com and www.thezivaway.com

The Ziva Way. Mind I Leadership I Community I Entrepreneurship Digest

THANK YOU Feel free to reach out with suggestions, comments, questions and inquiries: hello@thezivaway.com Instagram: @Dr.KingaMnich @thezivawaymagazine LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kingamonikamnich/

DR. KINGA MNICH

The Ziva Way bookazine.

STEP INTO YOUR POWER TO BE THE LEADER THAT INSPIRES COMMUNITIES.

Mind I Leadership I Community I Entrepreneurship Digest

More women are building successful communities and businesses everyday. They are shifting their mindset, using their leadership skills, mobilizing communities and turning a small business into an empire. In the Ziva Way, we bring forth stories of experience and inspiration to highlight ways in which you can learn how to shift your mindset, change your habits, learn new skills, build your confidence, and learn to speak up. When we hear the stories of other women - overcoming the pain, social obstacles and self-doubt - it can become easier to understand that you have all it takes to make the next move, be the person that creates change, and feel connected and empowered.