The Classic newspaper Volume 13 Issue no. 3

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VaoSprSgic Townsend Harris High School at Queens College

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149-11 Melbourne Avenue. Flushing, NY 11367

Construction flaws force move to old site by Natalka Palczynski ·· Attention all Harrisites and staff members: start Editors: Natalka h packing because moving day comes Palczynski, Beth around once again Citron, Hope this September for Villella, Lauren Townsend Harris Sharett, Beth High. That's rightMattucci, Jennifer a private contractPare, Amy ing agency hired by Kommatas, Erika the Board of EducaZwetkow, George tion has declared Motakis and that the building Romina Perrone. must undergo exI tensive reconstruction to remedy problems left by the :1 School ConstrucWriters: Sean tion Authority McGinley, Kate (SCA), particularly Rube, Karen uninsulated pipes.

Parado, Dominika The agency, Bednarska and Conartist and Sons, Zara Ziff . were contacted by Allcalm Lossman, Assistant Principal of Organization, after an uninsulated pipe burst in FebruI ary, · flooding the gym. (See February issue of The Clash sic.) The :aoard of Education gave Townsend Harris Artwork by the authority to Melissa Tineo choose the agency it deemed most caPhotography pable to investigate

by Erika Zwetkow the condition of the building.

The Board of Education gave the 1 1 school this privilege "because those bureaucrats [at the Board of Education] messed up I-. royally and didn't Advisor: want us to troublelisa Cowen shoot," said Felipe Jonos, physics Principal: teacher.

Mr. Malcolm Lossman chose Largmann Conartists and Sons based on the company's motto, :·we redo what they did wrong!"

"The yellow

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pages has everything," Mr. Lossman said.

Conartist and Sons estimates the construction will take anywhere from one to 10 years. Although the gym floor will be replaced by the middle of May, the real reconstruction lies in insulating the outside pipes that are in danger of burst-

Mathematics. "You won't see painted staircases [in these old buildings], that's for sure."

Many options were explored as to where Harrisites should dwell during the reconstruction. "We couldn't go back to Parsons because that's occupied by Robert F. Kennedy High School and frankly,

the move, the majority of students will be looking forward to the three-story building with most classes on the first floor. "It'll be nice not trekking up the six flights any more," he said. As far as seniors are concerned, their college classes will still be at Queens College, but it will be arranged so that they have . at least two hours between their college classes and high school classes to provide for travel time. "That should be more than enough time for students to get where they have to be. We realize it's inconvenient, but certain sacrifices need to be made for a _good education," MS . Wof'iYer

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"Oh my God! I guess it's too late to transfer [to another high school], right?" said Whym Ihere who will be a senior next year, just in time for the move.

There are only · two bathrooms for Horne to Harrisites earlier this century, the 23rd Street building will once again house Townsend Harris. each sex in the entire Lexington Ave building, but stu:ra dents are already ing which would cause ·more flooding there weren't any vacancies at any of the prepared to deal with this, due to bath- · 'inns' in Queens," said Sheeza Worner, room limitations presently enforced. and internal plumbing damages.

In fact~ the relocation will be hard"We have dismantle the existing Assistant Principal of Pupil Personnel pipes and more or less build a five inch Services. "[Moving to Manhattan] was est for the administration, it seems. "I'll thick blanket around all the ones out- our only alternative and we thought that miss the PA system," Mr. Lossman said side," said Jeffrey Conartist, principal the nostalgia of a Townsend Harris that mournfully. "I had my own office," said contractor. "We can't be sure when the once was and is again would be inspira- college advisor Manequin Buyer with tears in her eyes. Also, Dr. Largeman work will be finished, and we definitely tional for the students."

Principal Makeme Largeman was too was last seen by his secretary clutching can't start until we receive our $30 milupset to comment on any of the events. his desk screaming, "Please don't take lion deposit from the Board of Ed." So where will Townsend Harris go His secretary, Betcha Seena, stated that it away from me! It's oak!"

Most teachers feel the commute will until the Melbourne Avenue building is he refuses to talk to anyone and just fixed? Ironically enough, back to a lo- sulks in his office. "I can hear him sob- be the same and since they've worked under crowded conditions before, they cation Townsend Harris occupied dur- bing sometimes," she said.

"I brought him a glass of lemonade can do it again. "It doesn't matter that ing its golden years in the early 1900s.

Located on 23 Street and Lexington- and asked him to remember the encour- this building doesn't have a gym . You Avenue in Manhattan, this ancient aging words he told us only a short don't need a wood floor to be physically brownstone still stands in marvelous while ago ["When you're given lemons, fit, and as far as team sports are conmake lemonade"], but he threw the glass cerned, we're working something out condition. ·"When they built these bad boys in across .the room and screamed unintel- with NYU downtown to use their facilities," said Dean and Physical Education the early part of this century, they didn't ligible words," Mr. Lassman said.

The 23 Street building will be a tight teacher Wanda Fish. "Get ready for the have the technology we have now, but they came out a heck of a lot better," fit, but according to Alvin Dweebster, stairs, kids, and a couple of runs around said Fairly Ratty, Assistant Principal of one of the first students to find out about Manhattan."

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2 Exchange changes View of world - and clothes The Classic

April1997

by Dominika Bednarska day lives. "I like, never realized that stuIn an unusual attempt to enrich the dents got like, this much work," Amber cultural understanding among high commented. "And like, they don't even school students, this term marked the beginning of an exchange program be\\APPlNI:SS twtten Townsend Harris and Clear Lake ... .2 Cle~rla\:e ~dem- ' High School in Beverly Hills, California. Sponsored by SSS (Students for C,\.~,e.~i.~CI~ ~ Sharing Slang), the program officially ~~ started this February when Jane Good, '9~''-~e ~ Harris junior, and Amber Sand, a junior at Clear Lake, exchanged places for two weeks. Amber and Jane were chosen from among ten applicants, based on their compelling essays on teenage prob- · !ems across the country and because they were the only ones who could get to the airport on time.

Despite its rocky start, SSS spokesman Frank Cotter believes deeply in the program. "I think it will work," he said.

The program plans to send students from big cities, like New York, to small towns in the Midwest, where events like rock concerts aren't so frequent, and vice get valet parking!"

Meanwhile, Jane was learning versa. ·"The goal of this organization is to help students explore lifestyles other things in Beverly Hills that extended beyond the standard academic subjects. than their own," Mr. Cotter explained.

Both girls feel they gained valuable "I can now accessorize, and have found insights by participating in the exchange that there are therapeutic benefits to program, although they both noticed shopping that I didn't think were posconsiderable differences in their eve~:y- sible. The people I met were very nice,

friendly, and extremely color coordinated," Jane said. Amber found the students at Townsend Harris, as well as the "10···

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residents of Manhattan, equally welcoming. "Like, I don't know where the New York stereotype comes from. Like, some people were a little cold at first, but like, once they found outl was like, from Beverly Hills, they were very helpful. Now ifl can only figure out where I .Jike, misplaced my wallet," Amber re-

fleeted .

Dr. Makeme Largeman, principal of Townsend Harris, felt the exchange program was not only an excellent opportunity to visit the Big Apple and Beverly Hills, but also a chance to uphold the Ephebic 'Oath. "Students can use this .time to observe ways they can leave their city greater than they found it, and yes, Amber's locker referral will be counted," he said.

Clear Lake High School principal Linda Brown agreed that Amber's participation in the program was beneficial. "Students need to learn that the world reaches past their own backyard, and that not everyone in America can go out for lunch during school," she said.

Although they live miles apart, Amber and Jane found themselves to be somewhat alike. "We both go to school and enjoy cheerleading, despite the fact we don't have a football team," Jane commented. "Rodeo Drive is sort of like Main Street; well, not really. Like I said before, we both go to school."

Amber was enlightened after comparing the two coasts. "Youths throughout America· are searching for the answers to life's difficult questions, only some are better dressed than others," she said.

Hollywood stars.harness Harris bra.io power .

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by Karen Parado Ever since it opened its new facilities in 1994, Townsend Harris has been ranked number one among all New York City high schools for its new generation of academically inclined students. In a March 10 Wall Street Journal poll, it was revealed that roughly 80% of the student body offers their services in the newly formed consulting firm of Harris & Harris. The participating students sell their advice and business ideas to Hol.lywood stars and other millionaires who are thirsty for brain power. Many celebrities prefer using Harris & Harris · over other professional firms because they feel that they can target the teenage market better.

Harris & Harris was started last year by ambitious senior Maureen Money.

"My dad works from home as a money manager and his office has the works: the fax, the Xerox machine, two phone lines, and a Power Mac with all the cool software and Internet access," she said.

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"He meets his clients about the time I get home from school so we share the office. He's really glad I'm starting early to pay for my college tuition!" Maureen got other students with expertise in different fields involved as well. "They get paid, but it's still my company," she said.

In exc~ange for all of this counseling and financial advising, the Harris & Harris firm dem.ands natio11al recognition and 10% of what their clients make . .

According to most students, these are very modest terms. "After I discover stars and help them make it big, I don't think that 10% and a 'thank you' is too much to ask for," explained junior Agenta Talertta.

Donald Chump, one of the world'.s richest men and now a Harris & Harris client, makes weekly appointments with Bill Buck, a sophomore skilled in math and economics, who lends his advice on the stock market. Mr. Chump owes all of his recent success to Bill. "He's well above his years, I tell you! Thanks to him, I made an exr-;====================::::::;1 tra $10 million last LOOKIN' FOR LOVE IN ALL THE year from jellybean stocks. Now I can WRONG PLACES? finally build that exTRY: Jfarrisite Concession Site tra vacation house on the French .

Riviera," he said.

Stellar's An inside source revealed that Harris teachers are getting into the act by borwill set you up with a dream date right here rowing their stufrom Townsend Harris. Just for $6.00 you dents' tactics. "It's so unfair," excan use this service.

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claimed freshman Advice Weiss. "It was our idea first to become associated with Hollywood. Now the teachers are getting into it. Soon, our rival high schools might adopt our idea ... it'll become a chain reaction!" . One such copycat teacher is music instructor Peter and the Wolf Bachstig, who is giving lessons to celebrity saxophone player Kenny-G-I-Need-A-Haircut. Rumors circulate that Bachstig demands one Stradivarius violin per session for his instruction . Although Bachst'ig will make no official statement confirming this allegation, he did say, "My music lessons are well worth the money, Besides, if the high school students can make money off of the rich and famous, why can't I?" Dean and physical education teacher Wanda Fish used her students' gameplan to gain respect from the televisionwatching world. Now she is reported to star in her own "How-To- Get-Toned -Thighs -By -Running -Up -A -Million -Steps" video, which will be avaiJable at the Harrisite Concession Site by next year's Founder's Day. Fish urges the public to buy her second video release, "Feel the Burn," available sometime next spring. "Look out Cindy and Claudia- have I got a video for you!" she warned.

Despite their teachers' claims to fame, it was the students in Harris & Harris who managed to nab one of Hollywood's most sought after clients: Aren't-l-Old Shortsandagger. Every month, .he seeks the help of sophomore Happimail Austria to help restore his

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trademark accent through extensive conversations in a nameless, 'top-s_ecret, accent-enhancing language. In addition to world fame and I 0% of her client's earnings, Happimail also receives free passes to all Planet Hollyfood eateries. When asked about her passes, Austria replied, "Well, I'm worth every single one of those passes. Do you actually think that Arnie would've been able to say 'I'll be back' in Terminator with a Smith American accent if it weren't for me?"

Another Harris brainiac, senior Erica Einstein, has been consulted by one of the richest women in the world, talk show host Opprey Frimpy, ever since the beginning of her tenth season.

"Opprey's a little shy, so with the beginning of her new season coming in, she just begged me for my advice. Using my skills in student leadership, I coached and prepared her for her show with John-John Kennedy, Jr. She was hesitant at the beginning of the coaching season, but by the time I got through with her, she was as tough as a drill sergeant," revealed Erica.

With their advice considered as valuable as gold by Siskel & Ebert, members of Harris & Harris are in demand in Hollywood and on Wall Street. For those who are seeking help, principal Makeme Largeman announced, "You'll just have to wait your turn - my students are in such high demand that there aren't enough of them."

For an appointment with a Ha~:risite next year, call 1-800-111-THHS . Operators are standing by to accept your calls. You must be 18 or older.

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The Classic April1997

Shoele~s

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feet policy to protect new gym floor

by Kate Rube Shoeless school days may leave students strapped for. footwear as soon as next month if the Townsend Harris administration has its way with the New York City Board of Education. Meetings will take place next week at I I 0 Livingston Street in Brooklyn, Board of Education headquarters, to deliberate over a policy which wo1:1ld ban Harris students from wearing shoes during school hours. Principal Makeme Largeman introduced the idea in hopes of protecting the new gym floor, which he expects to be completed by May. The original gym floor was completely destroyed in February by flooding from a burst pipe. The proposed policy, however, stems from an incident involving sophomore Mary Jane Cloggs at the Winter Remix dance on Decem beL 13.

Forgetting the sneakers-only policy of the first ever Harris-hosted daNce, Cloggs twirled and whirled all over the $50,000 gym floor in her silver stiletto heels, oblivious to the harsh consequences her frolicking fun would have.

Due to her rare absence, Dean Wanda Fis.h's shoe inspection duties were handed over to substitute and former Townsend teacher Stark Loafer. Somehow, Clogg's stilettos managed to evade Loafer's usually watchful eyes. Loafer refuses to take any responsibility for the mishap, placing full biame on "the bureaucrats in the Board of Ed" who he feels are the real culprits in what he called a "slippery shoe slope."

Gym teacher Lief Ransome was the first to spot the peculiar~looking black mark in the n6rtheast corner of the gym tloor, as he began sprinting around the room for his regular 9:35 P.M. workout.

The dance had ended only a few minutes earlier, with students clearing the gym in a mad rush to find the one open · bathroom. Chaperones marveled at the dance's success: more than half the people there had actually danced, no one had missed the usual snack-sized chip

bags, and thanks to months of clean-up practice in the lunchroom, the gym was spotless. Or was it? Ransome quickly dashed off to notify Largeman and Assistant Principal All calm Lossman of his discovery.

permitted on the feet of Harris students while in school."

Large man's speech prompted Clogg's confession. ''I'm sorry," she said when she turned herself in later that day.

"I didn't mean to cause any harm. Tech-

in Townsend Harris. "Dr. Largeman really put his foot down this time," said junior Cindy Satire. "One thing's for sure, you shouldn't mess with a floor."

The incident has sparked heated debate among the student body. Many see Cloggs as a rule-breaker who has jeopardized their fashion freedom's future.

However, there are also those proclaiming Cloggs a hero, a representative of fancy footwear. "Shoes are a right, not a privilege," stated senior Anna Banana, "We should be able to shoes - I mean choose - whatever types we want."

Still, Largeman maintains that the infamous mark would have caused approximately $7,000 in damages if the pipe hadn't burst and only that section where the scuff lay needed to be replaced. He explained that whiJe the school's insurance will pay for flood damage, it does not cover scuff marks.

This money that the school would have been forced to spend had been earmarked for more necessary supplies, including an automatic bathroom-locking Senior Mary Jane Cloggs flashes her silver stiletto heels at the Winter Remix Dance and scuffs device. The .new shoeless policy, he the gym floor. The scuffs are the reason for the 'No shoes" policy that will be enacted in May. said, would save the school an enormous While -Loss·man ·gleefully r~alized nology could mix anyone up today - all sum of money in "would be" repairs. that this crisis would give him a shot in those shoe companies with their 'looks In addition, Largeman feels that a the spotlight as the voice from above, like a shoe, feels like a sneaker' mot- sock-only policy would help boost the Dr. Largeman knew that they were c.leal- toes. It's easy to get confused ... surely boys' self-confidence as they realize that their female counterparts are not really ing with a much more serious matter. .you can relate, Dr. Largeman."

Leaving Lossman lingering over loudDespite her emotional display, , that much taller. He also pointed out that speaker lines, Largeman set out to as- Cloggs will be cb_arg~d PY.. the school socks make for a smoother slide over ,.,;. ~ .~ ·..... sess the damag-es. Bending down few .with enda~g~rt~g" the"Iife ofthe- gYm floors, enabling students to get to class inches, he was face to face with the Dark floor, assault and battery, and an unlaw- faster. "Makeme made it from room 405 Spot. This black mark of a sole could ful violation of her responsibilities as a to 442, yellow pad in tow, in two seccause him no more pain than if his own student. Hearings will be held next week · onds flat yesterday," observed Lossman. soul had been tainted.

"The students in this school are simply out of control," he angrily stated at a faculty meeting the following morning. "First the bathrooms, then the lockers, now this. Where will it stop? When blowing undetectable bubbles, even durwill it end? Obviously I cannot trust stu- by Sean McGinley and Hope Villella ·dents to make conscientious choices as A ground-breaking discovery has re- ing class.

"This has to be stopped," Dr. to what type of footwear should be worn cently emerged from the science labs. in what situation. Therefore, the solu- After spending long hours on a secret Largeman shouted in despair: "First it's tion is simple: shoes will no longer be project, several enterprising juniors have the gum; next they'll be exiting gym found a. way to help other students vio- from the wrong doors, or using the third late one of the school's most sacred floor bathrooms." Fish is also frustrated Big test tomorrow? ' rules. These students, who wish to re- by the gum. "When I catch the perpeThree Collaterals due and you main anonymous, have developed a de- trators," she said, ''I'm going to make licious, but more importantly, totally them come to morning gym every day hauen't euen started? invisible gum that allows students to at 5 A.M. until they graduate."

NOT TO FEAR!!!

One of the gum's developers has inchew it without detection.

Simply get the Unconfirmed rumors persist that dicated that the gum seeins to have a these students came upon the basic for- special side-effect. Apparently students mula for the gum when it fell out of an who chew itundergo a state of genius original manuscript of Ralph Ellison's in which they can answer any questi~ms.

The Invisible Man, which they found on This side-effect results from special a shelf of rare books in the Queens Col- chemical combinations of compounds lege library. It has not been determined that exist in the gum. When given a Formulated by a team of world-renowned if these reports are accurate, or whether sample, Adel Kindafunny, explosi\'e physicians, the kit includes a potent miH of' the formula was developed by Ellison detonation instructor, said, "Wow man; germs created in some of the best laboratohimself or placed in the book by some- this gum is amazing!" ries in the world.

Use of the gum has become highly one later. As principal Makeme Largeman and Dean Wanda Fish persis- popular with certain segments of the tently search for the juniors who devel- school's population. They find that they GUARANTEED TO GET YOU SICK oped the concoction, students enjoy their don't have to study or even think for WITHIN 24 HOURS! their tests and they ace them all. A new new self-conferred privilege.

Call 1-800-GET-SICK now to order and get a Numerous students, when halted by class of students has developed. In adteachers in the hallway and asked to dition to the nerds and the jocks, the boH of tissues at no eHtra charge! Kit includes show what's in their mouths, gleefully bubble heads now existAnti-gum stu2 oz. bottle of Germamine. Only $24.95!! open wide and display only teeth and dents, who feel that it is unfair for stu *Long-term illnesses cannot be guaranteed. · tonsils. Others revel in the covert joy of Continued on page 4

GET

SICK- QUICK KIT*

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Invisible gum angers faculty; Genius comes to those who chew

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The Classic April1997

Strategy for success:

Buses for education, Cheerleaders boost spirit Not just transportation With vocabulary words

by Lauren Sharett The senior trip has a new destination this year- Montreal, Canada- and some added highlights too, such as tutoring on the bus. Mathematics teacher John Frown proposed the idea of tutoring on buses after noting the trip's proximity to the date of the Advanced Placement (AP) calculus exam. Being that most of his calculus students are seniors, Mr. Frown feared that after touring Canada for four days and three nights? students couldn 't possibly be in the proper condition to study for and achieve positive results on the test. In response to this anticipated problem, Mr. Frown has decided to maximize his students' time by offering an in-depth calculus review on I the bus ride to Canada. Instead of talking to friends and listening to music, students will be able to prepare for their upcoming exam. "\Yho could have fun anyway, with the thought of my neglected calculus book sitting home?'' said Nofuno Games, senior.

Mr. Frown will be assisted by colleague Joel Corn . "Of course if [the tutoring] is to be effective, the students must be strictly disciplined," said Mr. Corn . "Careful-e-vu folks or Mr. Frown will bang on your seat with his ruler!"

Mr. Corn has also decided to provide his track team with math review. "Picture it: trigonometric functions recited during a 5 mile run . It'll be terrific!"

When this idea was presented to the classes, students were said to have been silent at first; however, one by one each individual realized the time management skills they would be implementing. A minority ofthe students were still doubtful and voiced concerns over whether they would be able to speak on the bus. Fairly Ratty, the Assistant Prin-

cipal of the math department, answered this question when he said, "The beauty of this plan is that students can have fun and learn at the same time. As they enrich their minds with mathematical exercises, they can integrate relations and relate functionally. They can sing chorallaries and dance to the latest logarhythms. There is no limit to their ability, which increases exponentially with Mr. Frown's infinite knowledge.

Please differentiate among yourselves so that work is done with respect to all variables."

Mr. Frown has received such remarkable feedback from his proposal that he is considering making bus lessons a continuous option for students. If all goes well on the· senior trip, math students or all levels may have the opportunity to catch up on their studies on their bus rides home from school. Townsend Harris administrators are now looking into the possibility of biweekly instruction on the Q25/34 and Q44 lines.

"We don't know how big this could get. Before we know it, students may be declining Latin on the subway, ·and viewing filmed chemistry demonstrations on selected airlines," said principal Makeme Largeman.

The only foreseeable problem involves the installation ·of chalkboards on the buses. Suggestions include the use of white-boards located behind the driver's seat. This would eliminate chalk dust and provide an accessible view for all of the passengers. yor now the math department can only wait and see how the AP calculus bus will work out; however, teachers are hopeful that this experiment will lead Townsend Harris down the pioneering path of mobilized education.

Principal Makeme Largeman drinks milk because he knows that one glass of milk can provide the daily dose of Vitamin A Harrisites need to make it through the day.

/ by Zara Ziff "Barrass them, harrass them, make them relinquish the ball." This cheer and others like it will replace the "Rah, rah, rah" cheers of the cheerleading squad next term. Principal Makeme Largeman suggested the new cheer, after saying, "Although the cheers that are presently used show spirit, they-have no educational value."

Perky "was 'WE WILL, WE WILL, SQUELCH YOU. Everybody's cognic zant that we are supreme; we're gonna kick you in the posterior. WE WILL, WE WILL, SQUELCH YOU!"' Other cheers the girls developed include: 'Equipped to do the job, ... Okay!

Defenestrate 'em, oscillate 'em, undulate 'em! Go! Retaliate! Prevail!

Since this new innovation in cheer-

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Pros promote prolix. Cheerleaders incorporate vocabulary words into ·new routines .

Last week at a meeting with cheerleading advisor, Rachel Ruleeasy, Dr. Largeman insisted that the cheerleaders create new cheers which use English vocabulary words so they will not only cheer the team on, but also prepare the cheerleaders and high school audience for the SAT's ... At fir~t Ms. Ruleeasy and the cheerleaders weren't sure if this was a good idea. Sophomore cheerleader Rebecca Silkworm argued that "it would be hard to make the new cheers fit the old moves." However, the girls later decided that with all the cheerleading practices and games, they would ~ave no time to study for the SATs and went along with the idea.

Some vocabulary words have al~eady been contributed by exuberant teachers who have met after school for the last three days in the teachers' cafeteria to come up with words. Junior Stacey Nosy said, "I peaked into the teacher's room and they were all there . They each had about seven unabridged dictionaries in front of them. It seemed as if they were having a race to see who could find the most words. All of them were screaming out words at the same time." English teacher, Michael Provolone came up with twenty words, impressing his colleagues with his contribution of "boondoggled ."

English department head. Lotsa Greenmeadows is also enthusiastic about this idea and said, "I will have all the students read their dictionaries page by page to come up with suitable words." ~

Because March was vocabulary Month, the cheerleaders decided to incorporate the words into their cheers.

"My favorite cheer," said freshman-Ima

ing has come to pass, Dr. Largeman has also suggested making cheers in Latin and Ancient Greek and doing Ancient Egyptian dances to go with the new words. His suggestion was offered with much enthusiasm:"Veni, Vidi, Vici! Go Harris!"

Invisib-le gum Angers faculty; Genius com~es to those who c.hew ContimieC:flrom page 3 d:ents tQ eoccel only beeause t!ltey can cltew, say. ".TIIISt say no," whfle the bubbie heads re.pty, ••Just say blow:• After using tlteir new intelligence t-o aevelop a liqu-id metal which could be placed in the keyhole of the lock on the elevator to fonn. an exact copy of the k<Cy, the creators sn.uck. inte tlte Harris penthouse, and set u~ shop to produce t!lte 9um. They seta it am()ng menus in the sam:e manner as (\\eaters sect~ illegal drugs, very secrebly.

The gum irnventors have been 0ffered m11tions of dollars by several professional gum manufacturers for tlte f0Fmula. While chewing the gum, the inventors realize tlte true value of t!lte fomn-ula anti refuse to sell it.

When they stop chewing. however, t!ltey coo't remember what tile fortn-ula is. It ~pears that the gum will remam excliiiSive to T-ownsend Harris.