Classic newspaper Volume 22 Issue no. 3

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Vol. 22, No.3, April1, 2006

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Townsend HarrisHigh School at Queens College

149-11 Melbourne Avenue, Flushing, NY 11367 ·

Metal bracelets to replace ID cards Editors:

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Christopher Amanna Diana Bell Jocelyn Wright Rookminie Behari Laura Schubert Marissa Green Alexandra Stergiou Muriel Leung

Writers: Christopher Amanna

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Diana Bell Jessica Graf M<;~ris~i!.P.r~e!!

Alexandra llieva

Lonny Zaretsky

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Christopher Amanna Mitchell Bader Rookminie Behari Muriel Leung_ ·

Advisor: Richard Cappuccio

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I Principal: Thomas Cunningham

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Decible Counter. The detector will change colors from purple to red de'fa pending on i1 the noise CQ ., level. Any·a ] thing reading 8 over 15 ~­ >-. .&:> · decibles will 0 be deemed excessively noisy and the Sophomore Mala Pulsera dons a prototype of the entire student ID bracelets students will soon be required to wear. body of that particular lunch to be heard Without a microperiod will receive four refer- phone. rals and half-portion meals for The administration has dethe nexttwo weeks. This mea- cided that ifa student receives sure was taken after cafeteria · more than four referrals he or lunch aides Mary Pumpkin and she will not only be prohibited · Anita Workinpapuh com- from attending any school plained that they were unable event, but the grade on his or to get the attention of the stu- her report card will be lowered dent body and wish to be able by t~o points.

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Student awarded for most referrals ever

Tiffany Tran Roy Ramkhallawan

Artwork:

by Alexandra Ilieva announced Agent Orange in a Prepare your wrists for memo that will be distributed something new, shiny, and Monday. She has been recruited heavy. Starting Monday April in an attempt to keep out intrud3, fittings will begin for. a new ers, of which there have been ID bracelet that will be perma- five in the past three months. nently attached to students' "That's unacceptable," continwrists for the duration of the ued Agent Orange. "We must school year. Custodian Ty D. be vigilant in our fight against Clean will hold the only key to intruders." the ID bracelets. Any student ID bracelets won't be the who manages to remove his or . only change this month. Beginher ID bracelet will . be sub- ning April 3, students will rejected to four referrals and a ceive referrals for forgetting two-day in-school suspension. their lunch tickets, walking too "Our number one concern is slowly or too quickly in the your safety. We, the security hallways, and using the bathagents, are the first line of de- room too frequently. There will fense against ~ntruders. That's be three security agents placed why we got you 'these security on each floor, two on each end bracelets. Our studies have of the hallway, and one in the shown that they're 99% more center, to ensure students are effective than ID cards. The adhering to these rules. administration has been kind Lunch attendants will superenough to fund this important · vise the noise level of the enmeasure to ensure your safety," tire cafeteria with the 311

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by Roy Ramkhallawan The student who set the school record for the fastest mile is immortalized in Harris' sports history. The students who won national science contests will also be remembered fondly. Now, in that company, junior Troy Bamkalalala will also be remembered, but for something completely different.

On December 23 Troy Bamkalalala officially became the record holder of the most demerits during one term in Harris history. He received an outstanding 752 demerits, shattering the old recordof 102. His record was set in the 2005 faJI term, but the news was delayed because the demerits were under review until yesterday.

Although this is a dubious addition to his permanent record, Troy is not at all disappointed. "I'm somehow okay with 752 demerits. I know it's going to bite me in the rear

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regains weight at school sandwich bar -p.5

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TOWNSEND HARRIS H..IGH SCHOOL : : ~ AT QUEENS COLLEGE

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Thomas a-rtacon, Principal •

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in recognition of outstanding delinquency at the high schoollevel

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•• ,._..l'rindplll ~. """"ta Kn. • o n• :'!: ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 5 Junior Troy Bamkalalala recieved this laminated referral.

end sooner or later, but it's ac- . ridiculous. I don't know, but I t~allysort of funny," said Troy. probably even got one for my "I don't think my parents are pants being too long. Maybe I wasn't showing enough leg." going to laugh, though."

Troy, however, does not beThis came as a surprise to lieve that he deserved all of his some people, even those who demerits. "Somewhere in my gave him demerits. "He seems 752 demerits, I think I might like a good kid. I did not think have gotten one for sneezing he had 752 demerits," comand I think one for scowling at mented US History teacher a teacher," explained Troy, "It's Jaime Fern.

Senate approves drilling for oil underQCQuad -p.7

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found in schoolrecycling bin -p.47

"I sent the letters home. It is normal to get a couple. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but I never thought he could get 752," said Dean Wanta Kix. "The amount of demerits is a very large number. Theoretically, if he were to divide his demerits equally among his classmates, that would come out to 3 demerits for every student. He averaged about nine demerits per school day," revealed Dr. M. C. Stat, looking up from his calculations .

Oddly enough, Troy now has some fans that admire his unusual accomplish~ent. ." That is so cool," said freshman Dee Merit. "I would rather have this record than some track record," said sophomore I von Areferral.

At the end of the day, Troy was rewarded for his achievement. He received a laminated referral to commemorate his record that will go down in history-- the history of the school, at least..

Students subject to._ daily locker search with renewal of Patriot Act -p. 4n 2

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The Classic April 1. 2oo6

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College a.c c.e ptance rates plummet Poor grades

by Marissa Lupo write her college applications ." AccordCollege acc.e ptance rates have ing to a recent poll taken by the science reached their lowest point since the re- research class, the majority ofTownsend opening of the school in 1984. This re- Harris parents agree with Ms. Nozall 's cent discovery has caused an uproar claim. among parents and students, and it has This uproar has also created anxiety also seriously lowered the number of ap- for underclassmen who worry that simiplicants for next year' s freshman class. Jar mishaps will ruin their chances of Not one student in the 2006 graduat- acceptance to the college of their choice. ing class has been accepted to an Ivy Hy Hopes, a concerned freshman, worLeague university, and many barely ries that his 99.9% average just won't made it into less prestigious schools be enough for Harvard. Hy later asked, such as Lumberjack College and Kum- "What will happen to us if we don't get quat University_ into good colleges? Surely the world Lumberjack College, which will wei- · will stop spinning, and an apocalypse come 50% of Townsend Harris's class will be inevitable." Many.ofHy's classof2006 in the fall, is located in the town mates expressed similar worries. of Red Flannel, Illinois. It focuses on Principal Thomas Cleverbacon was _the art of tree cutting and log cabin con- just as upset as the parents and students struction. Kumquat University, located but blamed the students, not the faculty. . in FortuneHa, Ohio, expects 30% of the He feels that the class of 2006 has let 2006 graduating class next fall. Kum- down its alma mater with their poor acquat University promises that all its stu- ceptance rates. During the Wednesday dents will be able to spell the word kum- announcements, Mr. Cleverbacon said, quat upon graduation.

"I am very disappointed in the class of Many parents cannot figure out why 2006. We are no longer a beacon of their children, with 90+ averages, were excellence, a I ighthouse to other not · admitted to better schools. These schools, an award winning educational parentsare blaming the faculty for poor institution, a hot spot of intelligence, a guidance and for inadequately prepar- congregation of the clever, an ensemble ing their children for the college accep- of the enlightened ... " and continued in tance process. One such parent, Katie this fashion for some time, taking up half Nozall, mother of Carla Nozall, claimed, the period and incensing many teachers "My daughter spent so much time learn- who were angered that their teaching ing to write MLA bibliographies and fin- time be cut short. ishing her collaterals that she never Teachers also blame the students feel learned how to take the SATs or how to that if students studied more of their in-

dividual subjects, they would have gotten into better colleges. The English Departm~nt will seek to solve the prob!em by adding a fourth collateral each term, starting in t~e fall of2006, because two more than everyone else just doesn't seem to be enough. Similarly, the Mathematics Department decided to distribute a collater.al actually related to math.

Needless tb say, these changes are being met with increased dissatisfaction from students and parents. "Collaterals are part of the problem,'' exclaimed Noah Worka, an incensed freshman.

Odio Ciencia, an equally outraged sophomore, said, "I don't have time for . . all that chemistry and all those collaterals. This isn't a solution. It's part of the problem!"

Meanwhile, the future Townsend Harris community is in danger even outside of the school's walls. With such a drop in college acceptance rates, more and more incoming freshmen are thinking of attending Bronx Science and Stuyvesant. Current eighth graders are now flocking towards these rival schools as an alternative to the once popular choice of Townsend Harris . Jen Naysaypah, a junior with a sister in eighth grade, said, "My sister is probably going to go to Stuy instead of coming here. My mom wants to make sure that at least one of us gets into a good college." Mariy other Harrisites with middle school siblings expressed simiJar sentiments. i

Tunnel Year fosters ·THHS-QC bond

cancel prom

by Madeline Wright The senior prom, which was scheduled to take place June 1 at Floral Terrace in Long Island, has been canceled due to a recent decision by Principal Thomas Cleverbacon and fellow faculty members. The administration has canceled this senior prom because it allegedly distracts students from studying.

"I recently called a meeting with our faculty to confront a chronic problem that our school has always had . Every year, around April and May, the grades of ~he senior class plummet inexplicabl'y, '·' ex,plainecl Principal Cleverbacon. ''After careful analysis., we tracecl the problem to the anticipation and excite~ ment of senior prom, which consitently makes students neglect their grades and the com,. petitiveness of tbe college world they should be prepari11g for."

Math teacher Dr. M. C. Stat cited statistics proving that stuclents without senior proms have had dramatically higher grades than those who do. ''Senior prom distracts students from their real purpose in life: 's'luuymg and not socializing," he said. He added that it is "a frivolous event that serious students wouldn't even consider going to."

Although most students are devastated by the decision, and senior Iluv Prom was checked into the hospital for severe shock. not all seniors are upset by the decision. "This canceling-theprom affair wasn't actually a bad idea," said senior Ima Nerd. "Just the other day, I got a 98 on my AP Government test instead of my usual hundred. The S'enior prom has already started. getting to my head. I think this decision was good for all of us and especially for the seniors. It's a wakeup call for them to know that high school is still not over and that they should stop freakin, arouno and get back to hitting those books."

Before taking it, I never knew that was of the trial Tunnel Year students. Hedy

by Christopher Amanna The Tunnel Year, a new program how you properly write an essay. On the Hertz, a dual computer science and sponsored by ·Townsend Harris and downside, I do find some security mea- dance major, voiced a complaint comQueens College, will allow 50 Queens sures a bit extreme. The last time I wore mon among the Tunnel Year scholars.

College seniors to enroll in Townsend an ID tag was on my second grade trip "I had no idea what was going on in that · class. It was like they were speaking in Harris classes. A trial of the program has to the zoo," he said.

All students cited gym as their hard- some ancient language that no one been in place since February and will est class, except Max Celeritas, a physi- speaks anymore," she said. be fully implemented this Fall.

The Tunnel Year is based on the suc- cal education major. He expressed great .. Mini Faldita, a women's studies macess of the Bridge Year which allows admiration for his gym cfass taught by jor, found the school's dress code problematic . '~People would alTownsend Harris seniors to take ways tell me that I dressed classes at Queens College. The 'provocatively,' and I Tunnel Year is essentially this never knew what that . program in reverse. meant," she said. "But Tunnel Year students will when I. came here, the take "uniquely Townsend" security guards taught classes, including Writing me that it meant 'in Process, freshman gym, need of a referral,"' Latin, and Chemistry Mini explained. taught by· Adish Fourteen of Kalimari. They will \L. the QC students be considered regu-..,. \; -, j . said that Chem- truly wonderful to see Queens College's lar students and t; ..; \\ istry with Mr. brightest scholars become mediocre will be subject to ~ Kalamari was Townsend Harris students. It reaffirms the .school code a memorable. · my faith in public education," he said. "' of behavior. rr. experience.

Queens College president James So far, the 1.; Celia Lloyd, Muyspace is equally content with the 15 QC students a film ma- Tunnel Year. "We're opening up even involved in the jor, said, "I more avenues of communication and pilot program never thought I would find a course collaboration," he said. Mr. Muyspace say that they are enjoying their time at Dean Wanta Kix. "It's incredible. Some Townsend Harris, despite some malad- of the exercises I'm doing at Townsend more intense than that introduction to has aspirations to further expand the are done in 30Q-Ievel QC courses," he piano class I took back in sophomore THHS-QC relationship, saying, "First, justment. .

I. Kent Wright, an English major, re- said. "I wouldn't be surprised if I could year. Boy, did Mr. Kalamari prove me there was the Bridge Year and now the Tunnel Year. The next logical step is lated some of his experiences. "My time ' count Ms. Kix's class toward my gnidu- wrong!"

Principal Thomas Cleverbacon some sort of Ferry Year. I just hope at Townsend has been great, for the most ate work," Max added .

Latin was another sore spot for most touted the success of the program. "It is there's money in the budget for boats." part. I'm very grateful for my WP class.

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The Classic

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April 1, 2006

If You Stroll, You Must Pay the Bathroom Toll

by Tiffany Tran · You sit in math class trying to work out the quadratic equation your teacher just put on the board when suddenly you realize you have to use the bathroom.

Although you've asked to leave the room three times this week already, the emergency can't possibly wait. So you raise your hand, ask for a pass, and set off to t he bathroom. · Starting one week from now, going to the bathroom won' t be that simple.

On Ap'ril I 0, a new rule, originally thought up by Latin teacher Andrew Hic-Haec-Hocerty's third band Senatus Populusque Townsendi Harritis, states that a fee of 25 cents will be expected

from each student who leaves a classroom for restroom purposes.

Teachers are frustrated that students are constantly missing class work time for excessive use of bathrooms. They claim that most students may only be going .to the bathrooms as a means of communicating with friends. They say sign-out books have not been preventing students from using the restrooms frequently and suggest that the toll may be more effective.

Students have different reactions to this upcoming rule. Sophomore Anita D. Pass argues that "this ruie is stupid. It won't discourage me from using the bathroom anyway."

Freshman Missy Perfect differs in adding a quarter slot machine to each opinion, and says, "Well, I_ never use the stall. The fee must be paid or the toilet bathroom, and I feel this rule will make . will not flush and the toilet paper will classes less disruptive." not dispense . He also plans on building . Junior Flavia Calens, who suggested a scanner to scan each Student's ID bethe rule to her third band Senatus, de- fore entering the bathoom. Additionally, fends it, saying "The Romans also had since students tend to overuse the paper to pay to use public bathrooms . We towels at the sink area, a fee of five cents wanted to make our experience in the will be mandatory for each additional Senatus more authentic. We're also vot- towel after the first. All collected money ing on building acqueducts to replace at the end of each month will be spent the ruptured pipes in the school." on fixing the many out of order toilets, Although the Senatus wanted to ap- most immediately on the fifth floor, point students to stand guard outside the where two olit of the four toilets are not bathrooms to collect tolls, Dean Wanna working.

Kix deemed the plan impractical. InThe bathrooms will be closed until stead, Custodian Ty D. Clean plans on the coin slots are installed.

-Admt'nistration Officials Reveal Secret Pasts

by Lonny Zaretsky Sumersaults and swinging on trapezes may not seem like paths to educational careers, but this is not true in the cases of Principal Thomas Cleverbacon, who spent many years of his youth on a circus trapeze, and Assistant Principal of Humanities Susan B. Fretting, a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.

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Cleverbacon's closet are hundreds of · polka dot leotards he donned during the J'~·---.&~VI 15 years he spent working with Barnum • &J~HH9.t'~ .s:;~~<:H~· .. : . ' "Every kid always has that dream of running away to the circus. I guess I took mine a little further," said Mr. the summers until he graduated from high school after Which he began Cleverbacon.

Agatha Cleverbacon recollects her working full time. It .':"as at this point son "behaving like a monkey!" After that he permanently went by his show multiple trips to the circus and constant name, The Fabulous Flying Hambino. begging, she and her husband sent their "I loved the experience and the son to a summer circus camp. After five adrenaline rush as you fly through the years at the summer' camp, 15-year-old air. There's nothing like it," said Mr. Cleverbacon joined Barnum and Cleverbacon . \ Bailey's Circus . Despite his parents' As Mr. Cleverbacdp ~eared the age wishes, he performed with them during of 30, he decided to call it qults. As he

exited the ac- - But who would have known that robatic world, cheerleading can be so fun? After Bobby he took a decided to take Jamie-Lynn to the dance, chance in I thought I'd stick with cheer leading education. anyway," said Ms. Fretting. "It was a When asked _wonderful experience; I wrote so m,any if he had any . cheers and made many new friends. One regrets about of my fellow cheerlead'ers from college, quitting his Betsey Lee Johnson, 'is still one of my childhood best friends. I even asked her to be a dream, he re- bridesmaid at my cheerleader themed plied, "Of wedding," said Ms. Fretting.

After graduating from college, Ms. course not.

The circus Fretting applied for the Dallas Cowboys spirit will al- Cheerlead'ing squad. "It was quite an ways be a part honor when I made it," said Ms . Fretting. As soon as she hit 25, however, Ms. of me."

While Mr. Cleverbacon was flying Fretting was replaced with a younger through the air, Ms. Fretting was form~ performer. During her story, Ms. Freting human prymaids and cheering, "Ra- · ting broke out into cheer mid-sentence, Ra Shish-Boom Bah! I love Twain, I saying, "Give me a C-0-L-L-A-T-E-Rlove books! Read Huckleberry Finn and A-L! What does that spell? FUN!" you'll be hooked." Ms. Fretting's interMs. Fretting, who is trying to start a est in cheer-leading wasn't only because Townsend Harris Hawks Cheerleading she found the dances fun. "Well, when squad, says it will'be a great experience I was 13 there was this boy named for anyone who joined. Anyone interBobby James, I thought if I became a ested jn applying for the squad can concheerleadt:r that it would impress him! tact Ms. Fretting in room 9I7.

Global Geek Competition Declares Harris Winner

by Jessica Graf It's official:-- Harrisites are the nerdiest teenagers in the world.

Townend Harris took home the gold medal in this year's Global Geek com. petition and now holds bragging rights as the school with the most plentiful supply of nerds. Schools in every participating country were graded on criteria such as student test averages, hours spent doing homework, and lack of soc cia! activity among students. ·· / Townsend Harris beat over I 00 competitors, including the silver medal-winning Genius Academy in Schoolshire, England. The schools were tied in the test average category, with the student . average hovering around 95%, butHarris came ou_t on top in the homework and lack of social activity sections. Detailed surveys proved that, during the school year, the average Townsend Harris student spends I ,574.8 hours doing homework and keeps social activity at a bare minimum: 68.3 hours.

Principal Thomas Cleverbacon was ecstatic to have such an honor bestowed on his school. ''We at Townsend Harris have long known that our students are geeks," he explained. "This title is proof to the world. I'm glad that we have finally earned the recognition we deserve." _The student body has had mixed reactions. Most freshmen were thrilled by the win : freshman class President Stu D. Us said, "I will be eternally grateful for the privilege of being able to associate myself with an institution as fine as Townsend Harris. It is truly a comerstone of education, and I am overjoyed when I think about the next three years of my life!" Senior class president Tess Tsarfun agreed with Stu and said that colleges will be impressed that she attended the world's smartest high school.

Sophomores and juniors, however, were less excited. "This is baloney!" said junior Ima Nonerd, "Our teachers are going to give us even more work since

we're the world's biggest nerds . They'll just expt;ct us to be able to do more."

Sophomore Ben Cuttingclass said, "This is definitely not cool. I have to get out of this freak show before my friends find out!"

Smarty Pants International, the sponsor of the Glo- · bal Geek competition, is cr~ating prize packages for all of the Townsend Harris students.

The packages have not been finalized but are likely to include Smarty Pants, the company's trademark product.

The trousers come equipped with a penc il sharpener and calculator,

cleverly hidden in the cuff of the pant leg. They also have 76 pockets, each one capable of holding a ten-pound textbook and a standard package of loose-leaf.

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April1, 2006

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DearDitzi...

Back by popular demand, Deliriousli Ditzi is here to help you with aU of life's little problems!

Dear Ditzi, Dear Mary, Then you adjust the Connectivity meter I am a recent MySpa~e convert; I What were you thinking? His name to level .56893 . This is the tricky part, fell in love with that devilish look in is Bob and he lives in Iowa? Why would because in · order to do tnis you must Tom's eyes the second my friend Carty you think that he would be able to cater move your mouse over it and to the left Chatta showed me her newest profile to your needs? You're a tech savvy city slowly, left quickly, right quickly, up, layout. I knew MySpace was right for . girl! Take it from me: Call it off immedown, diagonally left, and right quickly me when I saw how many friends she diately, and make friends with more ce- two more times while touching the had- 896! One day I hope to be as close lebrities. They don't have the time to mouse to your nose. After that, you to as many celebrities as she is. Kevin visit you, and you get to say you know must accept a confidentially agreement, Federline and Blink 1821eave her comthem! click okay, and then accept another conments daily!

-Ditz fidentially agreement stating that you Anyway, I used the nicest codes for Dear Ditzi, . will never tell anyone that you clicked my profile anci took pictures from all I have a huge problem.

HUGE •. .Iike, okay.

Then stand under that silver box the right angles Uust like my friend collateral failure huge!

Actually, I will wall and hop twice. And now, on the taught me). The result? I thiuk I have don't think of a fail my collateral if you my dear, the connection should be imfound a potential smart idea quickly. I was in an empty peccable. Now, I'm off to lunch. It's boyfriend! His classroom this morning working on my almost 11:30. uame is Bob, English collateral. I sent it over our and he lives in -Ditzi . brand new wireless network to the Iowa, but he says Dear Ditzi, printer ... and nothing happened! The he wants to come I was iri the library during my hmch printer didn't get the assignment, and to New York and band today and I got a referral for so of course it did not print! I have class visit me. What · reading a book. What should I do? at 10:50 and it is now 10:42! I need your should I do?

-Shelia Librolover help within the next eight minutes or -Mary Dear Shelia, my research paper won't be handed in.

Myspace Did you know that this is the 65'h let" I'll fail! So I sent you this letter over ter I received with the exact same comour wireless .i nternet to ask you what I plaint? Not to mention the other 49 conshould do! HELP! -Wally Wiredesire fused students who complained of referrals for checking out books, and the Dear Wally, Okay, don't panic! I just got your 38 hurt students who got referrals for email. It's actu- browsing through the shelves. Tl)is ally quite easy problem is far too difficult and silly to to fix this prob- be further addressed, so I will simply lem; believe me. solve it myself. ·I am opening up my I know comput- own library, which will be in the reers. I know wireless net- cently shutdown teacher's cafeteria: works. I trained with Mr. Not only will I allow you take out and Spy. So first, go to the menu look through books in peace, but reand hit the Connectivity link. freshments will be served at a reduced

price. This plan of mine will go into effect July 1. No need to thank me!

-Ditzi Dear Ditzi, I would be forever indebted to you if you could help me with my problem. I am currently dating a succe_ssful man who is twenty years older than I am.

Many people have been gossiping about our relationship, so he went on a famous talk show to dispel rumors about us. Unfortunately, he got so excited that he began jumping on the furniture and ruined it. Now we are stuck with the bill, and what's worse-it didn't solve anything! People are still talking about us.

How can, I get my dignity back? ~Notkatie Holmes Dear Notkatie, I'm so happy you wrote to me with this one. I'm sure it is a problem that millions of women out there have already faced, and I have the perfect solution for you. i know exactly how to stop others from discussing your private lives. Here goes: . Constantly be seen and photographed outside together, and constantly have sappy, Jove-sick smiles on your faces.

Respond to all questions withone word answers like "no" and "sure," and always, always overact! Your relationship will surely last forever if you adhere to my four cardinal rules.

One last thing. If you would like' to repay me in any way for this advice, name your first-born after me : J'Jo(e al»:a):"S wanted to be in a newspaper.

-Ditzi

Summer Reading List 3. The Complete Guide to the History

by Marissa Green . .

In addition. to their duties as teach· ofthe World . ers, some faculty members have found by Maroon Cardigan the time to write books on a wide variA comprehensive overview of everyety of topics. Motivated by the desire thing that was every said or done from to promote awareness and increase the the beginning of civilization to April4, circulation of these books, the admin- 2005. Ms. Cardigan wrote this book istration is urging students to pick up a without needing to consult any outside copy of at least one of the books on the sources. A special pull-out calendar of following list: what George Washington was doing ev1. Me and My Muscles: A Memoir ery day of the year is also included. Ms. Cardigan is currently writing asequel,

by Keepme Handsome A recount of Mr. Handsome's ath- "The Complete Guide to EVERYletic and teaching career. This book is THING"which is slated for publication also full of work out and health tips that in March 2008. allow even an amateur to Jearn how to 4. The Transcendentalist Code get into shape, build muscles; and lead by Pitah Breadbaker A mystery novel in which a young a healthy lifestyle. Each book comes with a 70 pound ciumb bell and a re- Ralph Waldo Emerson seeks to find who quirement to do at least ten reps of ham- he is through the observation of nature mer curls. An inspiring poster of Mr. and the use of intuition. The book is so Handsome's favorite body builder is · descriptive and powerful that you can also included. almost see the author rounding his stu2. Mythology: So Noticed dents in a horseshoe and playing with his beard· as he intensely discusses the

by Andrew Hic-Haec-Hocerty Searching for a book explaining my- question, "Who are we?'' thology in an interesting and fun man- 5. Challenging--Really. Really Chalner? You need look no further. Fun per- lenging--Math Problems to do at Home sonal stories relating to ancient Roman by Seashell Basket mythology and a built-in magic eight At the request of her students, Ms. . . ball that helps decide on what myth the Basket has compiled her favorite word reader should tackle next make this problems into one compact workbook . . book truly remarkable. When asking, Although these problems may take a few "Should I read this book?" expect the days to solve, they will leave you breathoracle ball to respond "YES." less with a feeling of accomplishment. ~

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