Classic newspaper Volume 22 Issue no. 3

Page 1

Vol. 22, No.3, April1, 2006

FOOL

Townsend HarrisHigh School at Queens College

149-11 Melbourne Avenue, Flushing, NY 11367 ·

Metal bracelets to replace ID cards Editors:

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Christopher Amanna Diana Bell Jocelyn Wright Rookminie Behari Laura Schubert Marissa Green Alexandra Stergiou Muriel Leung

Writers: Christopher Amanna

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Diana Bell Jessica Graf M<;~ris~i!.P.r~e!!

Alexandra llieva

Lonny Zaretsky

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Christopher Amanna Mitchell Bader Rookminie Behari Muriel Leung_ ·

Advisor: Richard Cappuccio

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I Principal: Thomas Cunningham

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Decible Counter. The detector will change colors from purple to red de'fa pending on i1 the noise CQ ., level. Any·a ] thing reading 8 over 15 ~­ >-. .&:> · decibles will 0 be deemed excessively noisy and the Sophomore Mala Pulsera dons a prototype of the entire student ID bracelets students will soon be required to wear. body of that particular lunch to be heard Without a microperiod will receive four refer- phone. rals and half-portion meals for The administration has dethe nexttwo weeks. This mea- cided that ifa student receives sure was taken after cafeteria · more than four referrals he or lunch aides Mary Pumpkin and she will not only be prohibited · Anita Workinpapuh com- from attending any school plained that they were unable event, but the grade on his or to get the attention of the stu- her report card will be lowered dent body and wish to be able by t~o points.

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Student awarded for most referrals ever

Tiffany Tran Roy Ramkhallawan

Artwork:

by Alexandra Ilieva announced Agent Orange in a Prepare your wrists for memo that will be distributed something new, shiny, and Monday. She has been recruited heavy. Starting Monday April in an attempt to keep out intrud3, fittings will begin for. a new ers, of which there have been ID bracelet that will be perma- five in the past three months. nently attached to students' "That's unacceptable," continwrists for the duration of the ued Agent Orange. "We must school year. Custodian Ty D. be vigilant in our fight against Clean will hold the only key to intruders." the ID bracelets. Any student ID bracelets won't be the who manages to remove his or . only change this month. Beginher ID bracelet will . be sub- ning April 3, students will rejected to four referrals and a ceive referrals for forgetting two-day in-school suspension. their lunch tickets, walking too "Our number one concern is slowly or too quickly in the your safety. We, the security hallways, and using the bathagents, are the first line of de- room too frequently. There will fense against ~ntruders. That's be three security agents placed why we got you 'these security on each floor, two on each end bracelets. Our studies have of the hallway, and one in the shown that they're 99% more center, to ensure students are effective than ID cards. The adhering to these rules. administration has been kind Lunch attendants will superenough to fund this important · vise the noise level of the enmeasure to ensure your safety," tire cafeteria with the 311

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by Roy Ramkhallawan The student who set the school record for the fastest mile is immortalized in Harris' sports history. The students who won national science contests will also be remembered fondly. Now, in that company, junior Troy Bamkalalala will also be remembered, but for something completely different. On December 23 Troy Bamkalalala officially became the record holder of the most demerits during one term in Harris history. He received an outstanding 752 demerits, shattering the old recordof 102. His record was set in the 2005 faJI term, but the news was delayed because the demerits were under review until yesterday. Although this is a dubious addition to his permanent record, Troy is not at all disappointed. "I'm somehow okay with 752 demerits. I know it's going to bite me in the rear

Subway~ Jared 1-

regains weight at school sandwich bar -p.5

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: ~ -. TOWNSEND HARRIS H..IGH SCHOOL : : ~ AT QUEENS COLLEGE

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' commemoratwe ,. re.,erra .£. l to pre.vents t·hJs

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Thomas a-rtacon, Principal •

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in recognition of outstanding delinquency at the high schoollevel

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•• ,._..l'rindplll ~. """"ta Kn. • o n• :'!: ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 5 Junior Troy Bamkalalala recieved this laminated referral.

end sooner or later, but it's ac- . ridiculous. I don't know, but I t~allysort of funny," said Troy. probably even got one for my "I don't think my parents are pants being too long. Maybe I wasn't showing enough leg." going to laugh, though." Troy, however, does not beThis came as a surprise to lieve that he deserved all of his some people, even those who demerits. "Somewhere in my gave him demerits. "He seems 752 demerits, I think I might like a good kid. I did not think have gotten one for sneezing he had 752 demerits," comand I think one for scowling at mented US History teacher a teacher," explained Troy, "It's Jaime Fern.

Senate approves drilling for oil underQCQuad -p.7

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Harold~ love childl-

found in schoolrecycling bin -p.47

"I sent the letters home. It is normal to get a couple. Sometimes it is unavoidable, but I never thought he could get 752," said Dean Wanta Kix. "The amount of demerits is a very large number. Theoretically, if he were to divide his demerits equally among his classmates, that would come out to 3 demerits for every student. He averaged about nine demerits per school day," revealed Dr. M. C. Stat, looking up from his calculations . Oddly enough, Troy now has some fans that admire his unusual accomplish~ent. ." That is so cool," said freshman Dee Merit. "I would rather have this record than some track record," said sophomore I von Areferral. At the end of the day, Troy was rewarded for his achievement. He received a laminated referral to commemorate his record that will go down in history-- the history of the school, at least..

Students subject to._ daily locker search with renewal of Patriot Act -p. 4n 2

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