Winners and Losers

Y E A R I N R E V I E W

A few who won, a few who lost, and one who made “a very human mistake out of compassion” for an animal.

WINNER: Gettin’ ’er Done

NASCAR bad boy Jimmie Johnson proved there’s No One Badder when UR XVPXRQ \ß & Of V[VaVNaV[T N pileup that took out almost half the P\Z]RaVa\_` V[ N ]_R°1Nfa\[N " ReUVOVaV\[ _NPR 7\U[`\[ RZR_TRQ b[`PNaURQ N[Q dVaU \[Yf RVTUa \aUR_ cars still on the lead lap, came away dVaU aUR dV[ 0UN[[RYV[T aUNa PUbagpah to benevolent ends, a powerlifter V[ F]`VYN[aV :VPUVTN[ YVSaRQ N[ \cR_ab_[RQ 7RR] \ß N[ NPPVQR[a cVPaVZ

LOSER: Sycophancy

7RdRYR_a\aUR`aN_` /R[ FN[T NXN Ben Baller) earned himself a private audience with Elon Musk after craftV[T N  $ QVNZ\[QN[Q_bOf R[P_b`aRQ _V[T SRNab_V[T aUR AR`YN Y\T\ N` N a\XR[ \S N]]_RPVNaV\[ S\_ Musk’s impact on the American auto V[Qb`a_f AUR V[cVaNaV\[ dN` YNaR_ _Rc\XRQ NSaR_ FN[T ]\`aRQ N[ N[aV AR`YN _N[a \[ 6[`aNT_NZ dUVYR a_N]]RQ inside his powered-down Model X.

WINNER: Xzibit, Bard of Redundancy

AUR b[VcR_`R _RSb`R` a\ YRa aUR ²F\ QNdT³ _R]RaVaV\[ TNT QVR .SaR_ 3R_[N[Q\ .Y\[`\ P_N`URQ \ba \S 6[Qf " ]_NPaVPR aUR d_RPXR_ UNbYV[T UV` McLaren crashed en route to the TN_NTR .[Q 5\[QN UNQ a\ _R_RPNYY NO\ba  ZVYYV\[ cRUVPYR` ORPNb`R Va UNQ _R]YNPRQ QRSRPaVcR ANXNaN NV_ONT V[½NaR_` dVaU \aUR_ QRSRPaVcR OVa`

LOSER: Autonomy

6[ aUR B@ Z\_R ]RQR`a_VN[` N[Q PfPYV`a` QVRQ V[ % aUN[ V[ N[f fRN_ `V[PR &&±]R_UN]` [\a `b_]_V`V[T P\[`VQR_V[T N ... `abQf S\b[Q ZN[f pedestrian-detection systems don’t d\_X Na [VTUa N[Q aU_RR^bN_aR_` \S pedestrian deaths occur after dark. ;\d S\_ZR_ 1NVZYR_ 02< 1VRaR_ Zetsche proved he’s still the DRZ dUR[ UR b`RQ aUR T_\b[QV[T \S aUR /\RV[T $ $ :Ne ½RRa N` N ZVPQ_\] \]]\_ab[Vaf ]\V[aV[T \ba aUNa NYY Va aNXR` V` ²\[R `]RPaNPbYN_ V[PVQR[a³ a\ QR½NaR R[aUb`VN`Z S\_ P\Z]baR_ P\[a_\Y AUNa \_ `\ZR 3_\\a 9\\]`' .SaR_ _R`RN_PUR_` Na aUR B[VcR_`Vaf \S ?VPUZ\[Q aNbTUa _Na` a\ Q_VcR YVaaYR ]YN`aVP PN_` N` N ZRN[` \S \OaNV[V[T aUR `bTary cereal, the lead scientist reported, ²<b_ _R`RN_PU `bTTR`a` aUNa `a_R`` YRcRY` QRP_RN`R N` dR TNV[ N `R[`R \S P\[a_\Y \cR_ \b_ R[cV_\[ZR[a ³

LOSER: Compassion

When an injured deer wandered onto N[ RYRZR[aN_f `PU\\Y ]N_XV[T Y\a V[ 1ReaR_ :VPUVTN[ NSaR_ ORV[T `a_bPX Of N ]N``V[T PN_ \[R Ob` Q_VcR_ ZNQR what the district described in an email a\ ]N_R[a` N` ²N cR_f UbZN[ ZV`aNXR \ba \S P\Z]N``V\[ S\_ aUR N[VZNY ³ 5R Q_\cR \cR_ aUR QRR_ 6[ aUR Ob` Y\\] 1b_V[T Z\_[V[T Q_\]\ß DVaU XVQ` \[ UV` Ob` AUR[ `RRV[T aUR QRR_ `aVYY aU_N`UV[T V[ UV` ZV__\_ UR aU_Rd aUR Ob` V[ _RcR_`R N[Q UVa Va NTNV[

WINNER: Dad Jokes

B[TbYNaR` UNQ N[\aUR_ _\bTU QNf when a semi overturned and released [RN_Yf  ]VT` V[±NURZ±2¦[TUNZ 0\b[af 6YYV[\V` AUR ]_R`bZNOYf QRNQ]N[ \d[R_` \S 1_VcR . AN[X TN_[R_RQ Z\_R RfR _\YYV[T dUR[ aURf announced their initiative to ship tanks to customers’ preferred locaaV\[` PNYYRQ AN[X` a\ F\b

WINNER: Innovation

. !fRN_\YQ TV_Y V[ 3Y\_VQN NQN]aRQ aUR AN[X` a\ F\b Ob`V[R`` Z\QRY a\ T_N[Q aURSa Nba\ dUR[ `UR \_QR_RQ ]VggN a\ UR_ [RVTUO\_μ` U\b`R `\ `UR P\bYQ `aRNY aUR QRYVcR_f Tbfμ` PN_ 6[ 5\b`a\[ N[\aUR_ aUVRS `a\YR UV` [RVTUO\_μ` cN[ _R]RNaRQYf _Rab_[V[T Va RNPU aVZR NSaR_ b`V[T Va N` N TRaNdNf cRUVPYR dUR[ Ob_TYN_VgV[T [RN_Of U\ZR` .[Q N[ BOR_ Q_VcR_ V[ @N[ Mateo, California, stumbled onto an obvious way to ensure his marks weren’t home when he drove a couple to the airport and then returned to break into their house.

LOSER: The Surveillance State

3_R[PU ]R\]YR ]_\aR`aV[T aUR P\b[try’s lowered speed limits have QR`a_\fRQ `\ZR $" ]R_PR[a \S aUR P\b[a_fμ` a_N¦P PNZR_N` DN[a a\ W\V[ aUR ¼TUa S_\Z aUV` `VQR \S aUR .aYN[aVP, .QcR_`N_VNY 3N`UV\[ _\YYRQ \ba N YV[R \S PY\aUV[T QRP\_NaRQ dVaU VZNTR` \S YVPR[`R ]YNaR` QR`VT[RQ a\ O\T Q\d[ YVPR[`R]YNaR_RNQR_ QNaNbases with junk information.

WINNER: Doggos

DUR[ V` Va [\a T\\Q a\ OR N Q\T, . 3_R[PU ObYYQ\T SRYY `Ve `a\_VR` S_\Z N rooftop in Manhattan only to bull’sRfR aU_\bTU aUR `b[_\\S \S N 1\QTR 0UNYYR[TR_ `b_cVcV[T dVaU \[R ONQ Pba N[Q `\ZR O_bV`V[T .[Q S\_ _RN`\[` b[PYRN_ 3\_Q QRZ\[`a_NaRQ Va` [\V`RPN[PRYV[T ]_\dR`` Of ObVYQV[T N `\b[Q]_\\S Q\TU\b`R ;\a a\ OR \[Rb]]RQ AR`YN V[a_\QbPRQ N 1\T mode, which keeps the A/C or heat on and puppers comfy when owners [RRQ a\ _b[ \ß \[ N[ R__N[Q 6a NY`\ QV`]YNf` N ZR``NTR \[ aUR V[S\aNV[ZR[a `P_RR[ aRYYV[T ]N``R_`Of aUNa aUR Q\T V` `NSR [\aV[T O\aU aUR PNOV[ temperature and that its owner will OR _Rab_[V[T `\\[

LOSER: The Moral High Ground

9\\XV[T a\ QRZ\P_NaVgR aUR T\\Q YVSR N[Q ZN[bSNPab_R N YV[R \S 3R__N_V "4A< _R]YVPN`, . P\b_a V[ 6aNYf dealt a blow to your business plan by QRPYN_V[T aUR 4A< N d\_X \S N_a which makes the unlicensed reproQbPaV\[ aUR_R\S N P_VZR @]RNXV[T \S P_VZR aNe S_NbQ V` `aVYY \[R AUR B@ A_RN`b_f 6[`]RPa\_ 4R[R_NY S\_ ANe Administration revealed that the feds UNcR Q\YRQ \ba `\ZR $! ZVYYV\[ V[ 2C aNe P_RQVa` a\ V[RYVTVOYR ]N_aVR` `V[PR ! .[Q C\YX`dNTR[ NQZVaaRQ aUNa Vaμ` ORR[ VYYRTNYYf `RYYV[T ]_R]_\QbPaV\[ PN_` aU_\bTU [\_ZNY `NYR` PUN[[RY` S\_ fRN_` @RRZ` YVXR ZNfOR CD should invite Jimmie Johnson to a O\N_Q ZRRaV[T