Our cars: Land Rover Defender

Touring Defender took crossContinental adventure in its stride, puncture and all

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SECOND REPORT Editor Fowler lends his Defender to famous friend Adrian Chiles for trip of a lifetime

Adrian Chiles

UNTIL recently I’d never owned a dog or driven a 4x4 – or even had any notion of getting married. But there I was, on honeymoon, driving around Europe in a Defender with my bride next to me and our dog Tito snoozing on the back seat.

The odyssey began, as is traditional, with a six-hour wait at the Folkestone Eurotunnel terminal. Then from Calais we headed through Belgium into Germany, then down past Munich, continuing through Austria and Slovenia into northern Croatia, and on to the Adriatic coast.

Two people and a dog in a Land Rover hardly sounds like the last word in romance, and the three of us did have the odd squabble along the way. But as far as our feelings for the Defender were concerned, love reigned supreme. Being touchy-feely urban dwellers, we were the kind of people who ’d generally grumble about Chelsea tractors whenever one got in our way. Yet we found ourselves cruising along autobahns and twisting and turning our way up mountains and through forests, loving it a bit more every day.

I am no petrolhead – or hybrid-head in this case – so I have little technical language or knowledge to apply to my review. I do know what I like and need, though, and the Defender met my relatively simple requirements. It felt as well suited to motorways as it did to challenging country roads and city streets.

I made a bit of a song and dance about parking it, until I realised it was barely longer than my BMW 5 Series Touring, and any parking problems were all in my head – plus it was almost absurdly comfortable. Six or more hours at the wheel were a doddle. The adaptive cruise control proved to be particularly useful. The sound system was great and the infotainment smart, even if I’d need a longer journey than to Croatia and back to master it.

The cabin has nooks and crannies in all the most convenient places to stow all the paraphernalia touring brings with it. And I never again want to drive anything without a small fridge in the armrest between the front seats. Also, importantly for peace of mind on a trip like this, I enjoyed security that comes with being in the care of an apparently indestructible vehicle.

Unfortunately, this indestructibility was something I put to the test. On the return journey through Italy, I was minding my own business doing around 75mph on the autostrada when I spotted something in my lane 100 metres or so ahead. During the short time I spent wondering whether it was just a mark on the road or a physical object, it turned out to be the latter.

Somewhere further up the road there must have been an old Fiat minus its back bumper which, it turns out, had enough about it to shred a Defender ’ s tyre. I suspect a lesser vehicle would have had more damage, but the Defender held its line, I slowed into the hard shoulder, and all was well.

At the garage they shook their heads sadly and said they didn ’t have an appropriate tyre. I pointed to the spare bolted to the back door and took their happy exclamations

“I never again want to drive anything without a small fridge between the front seats”

Running costs

34.2mpg (on test) £162 fill-up £510 or 12% tax

Practicality

Boot (seats up/down) 696/1,759 litres

Performance

0-62mph/top speed 5.6 seconds/119mph

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