Threads Volume 23 Issue 1

threads

uc berkeley’s muslim student publication volume XXIII issue I

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bismillah volume XXIII issue I

2020

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editor’s note Readers, This 2020 issue of threads is one that we are particularly proud of sharing with you. It is a window into our lives, our hearts and our souls in a year filled with uncertainty.

Despite all the challenges that this year has brought us, the Muslim community continues to display resilience, strength, and grit. In the midst of all the changes in our lives, I hope that we turn to our faith and have the reliance that He will guide us. I am hopeful for our future, and wish our readers patience and tawakkul. May we support each other and pray that our community continues to stand together (6 feet apart).

With love, Rania

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board editor in chief | rania mirza managing editor | aamna haq print editor | marwa doost finance director | rida anjum social media & marketing director | sadia hasan creative director | wanees hannan photo editor | rida jan design and layout editor | manaal joyo web editor | hafsah abbasi

contents editor’s note

pg. 5

half existing

pg. 8

(be) longing

pg. 16

auntie dotes

pg. 20

modern makkah & madinah

pg. 24

yemen: beyond the proxy lens

pg. 30 pg. 42

the prophet’s masjid

pg. 51

existential love letter

pg. 56

trip to pakistan

pg. 66

rabia al-adawiyya: confessions of love

pg. 72

journey through jordan

pg. 76

notable mentions

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words | wajiha zahid photos | wanees hannan

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A

t some point in our lives, we must all undertake a journey to understand ourselves, who we are, and our place in this world. As someone of Pakistani descent and a Muslim, this journey has largely been defined by my relationship with my ethnicity and religion.

It was during middle school that I became aware that people’s creed and ethnic background were the two main factors that made them different. I began to realize that I had a choice of how “Pakistani” and Muslim I wanted to be. This choice would affect the friends I would make, the things I would do, and the person I would ultimately become. I was the only Pakistani and one of four Muslims at my school — I chose the choice that seemed easiest to me at the time and also the path of least resistance: assimilation, deviation from my Pakistani roots, and allowing my Islamic faith to fade into the background.

This plan, for the most part, worked wonders. I blended in with all the kids at school and was able to successfully bury the Pakistani Muslim side of my identity.

At home, however, my lack of pride in my ancestral roots was seen as disrespectful. I didn’t know how to explain to my family that it was a side effect of being raised in a place where everyone was different from me. My relationship with my religion also changed. The desire to fit in and do things that I thought I wanted to do outweighed my desire to be a perfect Muslim.

I would brush off the guilt that I felt, consoling myself by believing that I had my whole adult life ahead of me to be pious. I mean even if I broke a rule here and there, I was still Muslim, right? And let’s be real, everyone screws up occasionally.

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This plan worked for a long time. It was great. Then the summer after my freshman year of high school, my dad decided that we should all go to Pakistan to visit his family and attend my eldest cousin’s wedding, a five-day affair. We were going for the entirety of three months. F*ck. I’m definitely not brown enough for this. But here’s the real kicker, I had the best time. Once I came back home, I thought back fondly on the memories, and couldn’t help the sheer happiness that would well up inside me.

It dawned on me that the time spent ignoring my heritage and my religion had left a gaping hole within me, and I wasn’t fully living my truth despite the false reassurances I made myself believe were true. Until then, I was only half existing. When sophomore year started, I found myself trying to keep intact the love and newfound appreciation for my culture and religion.

I felt a surge of anxiety as I started to see that the life I had built for myself would make that quite difficult; I felt like I had finally found myself, but the life that I could have was slipping through my fingers. I was terrified that my years of running away from my religion and my ethnicity couldn’t be reversed and that the incessant battle within me to be more Muslim and proud of where I was from would never cease. With a heavy heart, I slowly reverted back to my old self, adamant that my post high school life would be one where I could begin to embrace my culture and religion.

I’m at a different place in my life now. I’m still on my journey, but miles ahead from where I used to be. Inspired by the work of Brandon Stanton, creator of Humans of New York, I wanted to document the stories of people who had similar experiences and ask them how growing up in the U.S. has affected their ethnic and/or religious identity.

Here are their stories:

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“ Throughout my childhood, my parents constantly compared me to my siblings. If I was proper, I took after my conservative elder sister and when I misbehaved, I was rebellious like my free spirited sister. My attributes, actions, and identity were not my own: they were merely aspects borrowed from my sisters. As an adolescent, the only thing I ever wanted was to find “me”, but with this dynamic I didn’t even know who I was. While I admired the independent thinking of one, I couldn’t help but feel myself being distanced from my own conservative, Desi culture. I felt like I couldn’t follow my heart without also leaving my past behind me. It wasn’t until I left for Cal that I was fully able to find my own unique identity through these conflicting cultures.

Despite my need for isolation from these pressuring influences, a small part of me still yearned to maintain a strong sense of Brown culture within my life. I can now confidently say that I can be myself unequivocally as well as retain some of my Muslim culture. My one piece of advice to young girls growing up in a Muslim household is that identity comes with time, experience, and confidence. Identity does not have to be black or white. It’s different colors of experience, ideas, culture, and influence that blend together creating a harmony that makes up you. The struggle itself is absolutely necessary. It allowed me to paint my own identity, blending the two and finding solace in girls who grew up the same. I can now say that I am not one sister over the other. Not liberal or traditional. Despite my brown skin, I am a canvas of different colors making up my identity. I am Alina.”

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“

As I was transitioning from childhood into my early teenage years, I found myself growing resentful towards my identity as both Afghan-American and Muslim. Starting middle school was an exciting time for me — I made lots of new friends and joined a few extracurriculars, but it was the first time I felt my ethnic background interfere with “fitting in” amongst my friends. I was raised fairly traditional and grew up dressing modestly, eating halal, and attending the mosque every Sunday. Although these practices constituted most of my life at the time, the fact that it made me different than most of my peers created feelings of resentment. I recall being thirteen years old and dreading Ramadan because it meant staying at home while I knew my friends were hanging out without me and making memories together. The desire to fit in outweighed the beliefs that I grew up with and as a result, I spent a lot of my teenage years trying to resist the practices that made me Muslim, but never being completely successful. It felt that l had two identities: one that was too “Westernized” to be considered a good Muslim, and another that was too “Muslim” to fit in completely with the friends I had at the time. As I grow older and begin to reflect on my young adulthood, I realize that these two identities have shaped me uniquely as I have gained perspectives from both cultures. I have found a balance between my roots as an Afghan-Muslim woman and my experiences growing up in the United States and have become at peace with it.”

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“ I think I was always trying to escape. It wasn’t even so much about fitting in as it was about feeling like I could take ownership of my own decisions. I really hated the idea that there were things in this world that I could not do because of my religion or cultural expectations. I was desperate to feel free. I wanted to feel like I could do whatever I wanted with my life. So I started drinking at parties and smoking with people because it made me feel more in control of my life, like I had finally grabbed the steering wheel. But honestly drinking and smoking aren’t always that fun. There have been many times where I say or do something I regret. Not being fully in control of my body at times is also frightening. And as I’m growing up I’ve come to realize that as far as religion banning stuff, it’s really because God wants to protect you from all that. So it’s weird. I had to break rules in order to understand why God created those rules in the first place. Don’t get me wrong though, I still do sh*t occasionally. But I have a lot more respect for my religion than I did a few years ago, and hopefully one day I can stop doing this stuff altogether. Until then, best believe I’ll say Bismillah every time before I enter a party.”

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Religion isn’t a linear path. Accepting your ethnic identity isn’t either. These things were never meant to be linear paths, they were meant to be journeys.

However, due to societal expectations and our own unwillingness to confront what makes us uncomfortable and scared, we push everyone into a box and make them think there’s something wrong with them for questioning or wanting to understand themsewlves. We can’t possibly expect people to be content and unequivocally love God when we don’t give them a chance to understand their own relationship with God. People will mess up, it’s the human thing to do. However, this culture of shaming that many of us have adopted is extremely toxic and does nothing but reaffirm those who are distancing themselves from religion that they made the right choice.

What I got exceedingly wrong when I was younger was that I had to make a decision at that time about who I was going to be. Many of us fail to realize that identity isn’t something you can commit to in a day, it is a series of events in your life and constant introspection that allow you to figure out who you are and be confident in owning up to yourself.

Essentially, the journey in all of this requires that you make mistakes. Be fearless.

It’s far better to be uncomfortable and growing than to be comfortable with a stagnant mindset. So go, make mistakes, and learn.

As I’ve grown up, I’m thankful for the years I spent trying to change myself in order to fit in. I thought that by being “normal”, I would be happier. I wasn’t.

F*ck blending in. Own the unique parts of yourself. My culture is beautiful. My religion is empowering. These are the parts of me I never want to hide again. I’m not the most patriotic Pakistani or the most religious Muslim, but I am still as Pakistani and Muslim as I am comfortable being, and that’s enough for me.

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(BE) LO NG

words | aliza siddiqui

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he verb “souffrir” means “to suffer” while the very similar-sounding verb “sourire” means “to smile.” Smiling and suffering seem to share little distance from one another. I’ve mastered the art of suffering during a phase of souffrir en silence: smiling when I’m suffering in silence. Like all arts, it hasn’t been easy. Unlike all arts, it’s beginning to feel less and less worthwhile.

It means that I’m feeling negativity in its entirety, experiencing the sensation of having literal verbal freedom, and thus mental clarity, ripped from the very soul of my being. I’ve stayed quiet while feeling like breaking windows into millions of shards. I’ve stayed quiet when I felt like shouting about how I was shackled with the actions others have committed to taint my world with. I’ve felt abuse, and comfort, and everything in between.

It means that I live in a house that no longer feels like home, constantly reminded of how much my life’s net worth is in dollars, berated for draining the wallet of my caretaker. It means I breathe air tainted with rejection, an atmosphere permeated with the pestilence of negativity, and a room resounding with wretched regret.

It means that I am often grabbed by the tendrils of my thinning braid and pulled with as much force as my abuser’s flailing arms will allow.

I try my best to stay still and subdue the volcano of self-defense, self-esteem, and pure self-respect boiling up in my chest. Instead, the tears come spilling out, and there’s no holding back the dam of waterworks. I can barely silence myself when unwelcome insults rip through me. There is physical pain and then there is intimate violence. The combination disturbs souls.

I’m a conscientious, naive, petite, mildly cheeky, overly ambitious, quiet, and somewhat observant post-Millennial but I am anything but the words used by my tormenter.

“No one has the right to make you feel inferior without your consent”- Eleanor Roosevelt I’ve heard that countless times, Mrs. Roosevelt.

Yet I feel as if I’ve forgotten what it feels like to have different opinions of the world, where I’m not constantly belittled for thinking differently. I’ve forgotten how to wear a smile (except on cue), respond to the sunshine, or recognize my own emotions. I’ve adopted the black-and-white thinking of my tormentor to survive and cope, because it feels so dangerous to be unapologetically myself - even when that’s a very large embodiment of what I learned at the University of California, Berkeley.

Does anyone have the power to educe constant regret out of you, without fail? Does anyone have the strength to make you shed your heaviest tears, instantly and profusely? Does anyone have the courage to induce a Brobdingnagian amount of angst, wistfulness, sorrow, and anger within the very essence of your breaths?

Some do.

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But what if the very individual who’s humiliating you acerbically is the only person you’ve ever opened up to, the one you always trusted, the one who knows every single secret you so naively disclosed — the only one you’ve ever shared friendship, intimacy, and a sense of connection with?

When I’m being denigrated by my caretaker, I can finally fully understand Albert Einstein’s time dilation theory: every second ticks by slower, and only I can feel it. My perception of time feels significantly sluggish. Every person I meet says life is whizzing by too fast; I, on the other hand, cannot wait for the seconds to turn into years fast enough.

Today’s generation wants to keep on moving forward, racing to raise the bars others have championed before. I’m only interested in going backwards, returning to the state of bliss I enjoyed once upon a time. Inside, I’m hallucinating the best days of middle school, seeing myself happy in front of me, as if for the first time. I want to shout inside of my own mind, to call the clone girl I see in front of me back to my side, to urge her to grab my hand and pull me into her dimension completely. But I cannot shout. She is no longer real - my screams of longing are. I see students around me scurrying towards class in rushed motions, bolting to secure a better future for themselves, while I walk behind sluggishly, swallowing harsh pangs of existentialism down my mouth, living in the wishful past I can never experience again.

In those stagnant moments, I delve into penning some poetry with great meraki, stepping into a cathartic void of my own making:

“

Where has the happiness all gone,

Where is the laughter in the background?

Where are the giggles I used to hear, Where is the beauty in the details I used to be able to see?

Where is the light skip in my footsteps,

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Where is the thriving phase?

Where is the survival phase?

Where is the living of it all, Why does happiness feel like an alien visitor and sadness a constant default?

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It is in these wistful, stressful times that I escape to my happy place and remember that a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. I resort to the best 24/7 free-of-charge source of happiness: the salah mat. When I touch my acne-ridden forehead to that magical mat, there is nothing more I need in the world. Oxygen becomes secondary and Allah SWT breathes for me. Down there, I cry and pant and weep and scream and shout out, as much as I can, until my lungs become exhausted. Down there, I find my solitude, sometimes within minutes, sometimes within hours, sometimes within seconds -- sometimes, never. I find that my struggles are tailored especially for me, which means I am still capable of handling them. I exist without judgment, as happy as can be. I belong. To quote the late Canadian poet Leonard Cohen, “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”

Perhaps that’s why, on the kitchen countertop to the left of the stove, I keep a small granite plaque that I bought from the thrift store. It reads a quote by H.G. Wells: “The Crisis of Today is the Joke of Tomorrow.” Those effervescent words remind me to rely on Allah to collect all the optimism that may exist and apply UC Berkeley’s motto of fiat lux wherever I go: indeed, let there be light. It refreshes me on the fact that no lease on happiness is long enough, but that crises are also leased to us.

I don’t always glance at that token, but when I do, it’s always during a phase of souffrir en silence.

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AUNTIE DOTES your neighborhood auntie’s advice column, satirized words | anonymous illustrations | aamna haq

Dear Auntie-G, You WON’T believe it! The worst possible thing happened last night! I went into the kitchen to make myself chai (because God knows I need it to cope with the course load I have right now), and I overheard my mom talking to her friends on the phone. She was going on and on about how proud of me she is (which is odd because she’s never said that to me) and was bragging about how I’m so intelligent and I have all A’s, basically how I’m going to be so successful. She just kept talking! Honestly, I’m just a regular college student, sleep deprived, stressed out, trying to get through each day and finally become the doctor my parents expect me to be. But I’m ruining everything. Absolutely everything!! I just had my first round of midterms given back to me and found out that I got a B+ on one of them. An actual B+ auntie!!! I mean seriously, could there be anything worse? I won’t be top of the class anymore after this. That’s like…my entire identity. Who even am I anymore? I mean at this point, I might as well just drop out. Okay, maybe that’s too far. But seriously, I’m so lost, I’m losing hope, and I need your guidance! Please help me!

Bohat Pyaar, Anonymous

Array bhai, are you crazy?

Log kya kahenge? Forget about your own stress for one minute and think about how this affects your family. What if they find out….!? And then what happens? Kohn tum say shaadi kareh gah? I mean, come on yaar. Do you know how hard aunties work to get you pagals married? We put our blood, sweat, and (other people’s) tears into these things. And you have the nerve to ask how you can cope? This generation of kids are so weak. When I was your age, I used to walk miles barefoot to the library and do my homework. I got all A’s, and then I came home and cooked and cleaned for my family. It must be those pesky phones you all use. So distracting. Anyways, the first step to recovery is acceptance. You got yourself into this mess and now you need to dig yourself out of it. You need to start working harder and get better grades. I suggest you tell your mammi and she can slap some sense into you. After that, you will probably be more motivated and you can relieve your stress through cleaning and cooking. Just do better and be more like me. Whatsapp message me @AuntieG with your details once you’ve fixed yourself and I can get you married, theek hein? Everything will be fine, inshAllah. Thank you for writing to me beti/beta. I’ll make dua for you.

Bhaat sunho, theek hein?

Auntie-G

Note from the writer: Okay. Real talk. Cut the bakwas. Every desi knows this struggle. Forget desi, pretty much every brown person knows this struggle. And yet we never talk about it? About how much it REALLY affects us? Just know this, you are more than any rishta, you are more than any grade, you are more, so much more. Aunties got it all ulta pulta. Come on yaar, see your worth. Enjoy life, spill the chai, and eat as many samosas as you want. Life is short. Live it well. XOXO.

MODERN MAKKAH & MADINAH photos | sana imran words | sana imran

I remember holding my grandfather’s hand and walking towards the Kaaba at 7 years old. I remember seeing the open space surrounding the Haram. I remember the vivid image of historic mountains, caves, and open land as I stepped towards the Great Mosque.

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About 12 years have passed and as I walk along the same route, only shopping malls and skyscrapers are in sight. The spiritual heart of the city has transformed into an ultramodern and monolithic enclave subject to paramount consumerism.

Large corporations capitalizing off a “Kaaba” or “Haram” view break my heart.

Throughout the history of Islam, certainly nothing was built to dwarf the masjid, but it seems that the ancient hills and old stone homes have been obliterated to make way for towering shopping malls and hotels. Makkah is a microcosm of the Muslim world; the peace and simplicity of the city must be preserved.

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YEMEN BEYOND THE PROXY LENS words | yehya abuzaid illustration | maryam ahmed

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ran and Saudi Arabia are some of the most influential regional players in the Middle East. Their competition throughout the region has led many observers to characterize their competition as a regional “cold war.” This “cold war” framework has mistakenly been used to characterize the worst humanitarian crisis in the world: the conflict in Yemen that has been raging since 2015. However, such a superficial understanding of the crisis in Yemen not only grossly oversimplifies this complex conflict, it illustrates the conflict as a Sunni-Shia divide rather than a domestic issue exacerbated by regional players. This falsely allows Saudi Arabia justification in its intervention on the grounds of fighting against Iranian encroachment, and this mischaracterization takes us further away from finding potential solutions to the conflict. Therefore, there is an urgent need to understand the war for the complex crisis that it is, instead of writing it off as a proxy war. The goal of this article is to illuminate the complex situation in Yemen by deconstructing the prevailing narrative, understanding the role of Iran, Saudi Arabia, and local actors, and revealing how this conflict has impacted the 30 million Yemenis in the country.

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A Brief Overview of the Conflict In 2014, the Houthi rebels in Yemen allied with former president Ali Saleh (who had been deposed by a revolution a few years prior) and took the capital, Sanaa. Many were stunned that an alliance between the Houthi and Saleh was even possible as he had previously launched six wars against the group while in office.

Nonetheless, it appeared as though there were enough mutual interests to overlook their differences. With Saleh’s connections to the military and the Houthis’ fighting experience, the capital fell with ease and the government soon followed. They placed the then-president of Yemen, Abdrabbuh Mansur Hadi, under house arrest and forced him to resign, effectively leaving the Houthis and Saleh in control of the government. By 2015, Hadi fled to the Southern port city of Aden and the Houthis followed, taking provinces as they marched towards the city. By March, Saudi Arabia led a coalition — dubbed the “Saudi-led coalition” — at the invitation of Hadi’s government and declared war, initiating airstrikes and eventually sending ground troops.

Since then, the conflict has metamorphosed into one of the most complex and horrific conflicts of this century. Saudi Arabia continues to back Hadi against the Houthis despite the stalemate. The Houthis themselves have consolidated their control over the north and killed off Ali Saleh for trying to turn on them in return for Saudi support. They have also developed their drone and missile program beyond what many had anticipated. The United Arab Emirates (UAE), a crucial player in the Saudi-led coalition, has armed and trained the Southern Separatists who fought against both Hadi’s troops and the Houthis. All of this is to say that the conflict is complex, and it will soon become apparent why a simple Saudi Arabia versus Iran explanation doesn’t do the conflict justice and only furthers the suffering of the Yemeni people.

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The Problem with the Prevailing Narrative The issue in seeing the conflict through a Saudi-Iranian lens is that it not only mischaracterizes the conflict, but it enables the war and actively prevents the international community from addressing the root causes. For example, when CNN states “Shiite-majority Iran and Sunni-dominated Saudi Arabia are locked in a strategic contest for influence across the Middle East. Now, the epic chess match has spread into Yemen, Saudi Arabia’s southern neighbor” it gives the impression that the conflict is primarily based upon a sectarian divide. If that was indeed the case, it would appear logical that Sunni-majority Saudi Arabia would back the Sunnis and Shia-majority Iran would back the Houthis. While sectarianism does play a part, it is overshadowed by other more tangible concerns like resource management and political representation.

Sectarianism didn’t stop Yemenis from protesting together during the Yemeni revolution in 2011 (which saw massive demonstrations against the government and successful overthrowing of the president). This dichotomy also fails to capture the fact that the Houthis are Zaidi, a sect within Shia Islam almost exclusive to Yemen and different from the one in Iran. Furthermore, few Sunnis are fighting on the basis of protecting Sunni Islam; many fight as part of complex tribal alliance systems, historical grievances, or political influence they would lose if the Houthis win.

The other issue with this perception is that Iran is hardly involved in the conflict when being compared to Saudi Arabia or the UAE. Their involvement has been limited to small arms shipments and sending military advisors to Yemen (likely in an effort to help the Houthis develop sophisticated drone technology). This is minimal support when compared to the massive weapons deliveries, training, and diplomatic support Iran has given other groups like Hezbollah in Lebanon or militias in Iraq. In these cases, Iran took an active initiative in creating or propping up these forces.

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By contrast, the Houthis fought the aforementioned six wars against the Saleh government in the 2000’s largely by themselves.

Even then, US officials, in a leaked diplomatic cable from 2009, noted how the Yemeni government sought to mischaracterize them as Iranian proxies to gain more support from the US. When the Houthis took Sanaa in 2014, as mentioned earlier, US intelligence concluded Iran warned the group not to do so, and they proceeded to ignore the warning. More recently Brian Hook, the US State Department’s Iran envoy, stated that Iran “clearly does not speak for the Houthis” and highlighted the limited influence Iran has in the conflict. This only adds to reports made by the UN Panel of experts whose assessment reported that Iranian support is either relatively small or knowledge on the matter is inconclusive. All of this displays how the Houthi rebellion, as mentioned earlier, is an indigenous movement, and Iran’s role in the conflict is notable but not significant enough to warrant the lens of a proxy war or a regional cold war. However, this does not mean that Iran isn’t gaining anything from the war. In fact, the war has been very financially costly for Saudi Arabia with little investment from Iran.

Furthermore, as Iran previously maintained friendly relations with the Houthis, the conflict has solidified an alliance that was very weak prior to the war. However, they did not seek to create this war in order to gain a foothold near Saudi Arabia. Instead, the war is largely the result of local tensions that became inflamed and regional players that militarily involved themselves in the conflict to secure their own interests at the expense of Yemen.

This perception of proxy war is more than just wrong, it is harmful. When people see the Houthis as agents of Iran, Saudi actions become easier to justify. This has been done to justify American arms deals and logistical support for Saudi Arabia to counter Iran.

The truth is that the United States stands to gain billions off of weapons deals and wants to keep allies like Saudi Arabia close to maintain its position in the Middle East. An Iran cover story is convenient to enact policies that are difficult to justify and otherwise morally irreprehensible. That is why a deeper analysis is needed to understand the roots of the conflict and see the realpolitik of foreign policy.

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An In-Depth Look To understand what caused the war we must first understand the backdrop of the national context in Yemen prior to the war. The immediate roots took place in the aforementioned 2011 protests that overthrew Saleh’s corrupt and inefficient regime. The revolution’s success led to the National Dialogue, a forum to facilitate Yemen’s transition towards a new government and constitution within two years. The Dialogue eventually concluded, and it was agreed that Yemen was to be federalized into six regions to give autonomy to the many different communities in Yemen while also maintaining the integrity of the state.

However, the exact demarcation of the new federations left many dissatisfied with the proposal (including the Houthis). To understand why they were not thrilled with the proposal, we must understand who the Houthis actually are.

The Houthi, who also call themselves Ansar Allah (but are referred to here as Houthis or Houthi for consistency with sources), are considered a movement of tribes primarily from the north of Yemen fighting against the central government. They are referred to as Houthis because of the prominence of the Houthi tribe within the movement, not because all of them are from the same tribe. As mentioned earlier, this movement strongly identifies with the Zaidi sect of Islam which has been present in Yemen for hundreds of years. It is important to note that Houthis do not follow religious leaders in Iran, and, politically speaking, they have remained autonomous in their decisions. Hence, it explains why the Houthis disregarded Iranian advice to not take the capital.

With this information in mind, it is clear why the Houthis objected to the new federalized system. Their federal unit left them with the Salafi community that they had been in conflict with for years. The Salafi community also had support from Saudi Arabia in the past because spreading Saudi ideology in Yemen was a method of gaining influence in the country. Thus, even though the wider conflict is not based on sectarian division, the existing tension between the Houthi and Salafi communities in certain areas contributed to the initial stages of the conflict. This new system also restricted their access to the sea, preventing important economic resources and shipping. This was vital as the Houthis had very little trust in the central government who feared their expansion. When taking into account that Yemen imports most of its food, it becomes evident how important access to shipping and ports are to any party in Yemen, especially one wary of the central government. Considering the group that had beaten the Yemeni army six times and was stronger than ever, it was difficult to see them settling for less power in any new arrangement.

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While there were issues with the National Dialogue, it still remains unclear exactly why the Houthis chose to march into Sanaa rather than take another course of action. Perhaps the plan was to extend Hadi’s transitional government beyond the two year timeframe. Or, it could be that local dynamics we are not aware of motivated the coup. It is important, however, to note that the Houthis did not call for the domination of Yemen as it was unlikely they could realistically govern such a divided political landscape. Instead, it is likely that they wanted to strengthen their hand in any future government to secure their interests by asserting their power, likely at the expense of other parties in the country.

Even though the Houthis had reasonable grievances, it does not justify taking over the entire government and unfairly excluding other groups from governance. The fact of the matter is that nearly every group in Yemen had a reason to be dissatisfied and believed their needs were not being adequately addressed.

Though this is true, it does not mean any group had the right to take over the government. The Houthi decision to form an alliance of convenience with former president Saleh was particularly hypocritical considering their cause is centered around combating corruption — something Saleh was infamous for.

Their decision to take the capital alienated many groups and initiated a new phase in the conflict that allowed foreign players to directly intervene with military power.

It is clear that Iran’s influence is limited and the origins of the conflict are largely domestic. Yet, there remains a key question to answer: if the war has been costly for Saudi Arabia and the war is not about Iran, then why is Saudi Arabia in Yemen? Former United Nations Special Coordinator for the Middle East Peace Process and current UC Berkeley Professor Peter Bartu viewed the timing of the war as a diversion away from the internal takeover. Dr. Bartu explained in an interview for this piece that “to understand external decisions you look internally to the domestic affairs of a nation and that is the case with Saudi Arabia in Yemen.” This refers to the fact that, at the same time as events in Yemen began unfolding, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia died and King Salman and his son Crown Prince Mohamed bin Salman (MbS) succeeded him.

As the new King began consolidating power, he continued to give important positions to MbS, thus leaving other family branches out of power. The war in Yemen served as a diversion away from this internal power struggle.

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There is another, more simple, factor at play: inexperience. In 2015 MbS was the youngest Minister of Defence in the world and was already facing a major foreign policy crisis. The Saudis traditionally enjoyed some influence in Yemen but now the Houthis, who resented the Saudis for their involvement in Saleh’s wars in the 2000’s, were the strongest power in Yemen. MbS’ lack of experience is evident as reports indicate he believed the war would end in six weeks — an obvious miscalculation considering the aforementioned six wars against Saleh and the Saudi air force. From his perspective, a six week campaign against the Houthis would not only divert attention away from his consolidation, but also instate a loyal government in Yemen that could secure Saudi interests in the region. For instance, a loyal Yemeni government could ensure strategic locations such as the Bab el-Mandeb Strait by allowing Saudi Arabia to militarize it and protect the flow of Saudi oil through the waterway. Instead, MbS is left with missile attacks over his country, attacks on oil shipments, and a costly war that has been dubbed “Saudi Arabia’s Vietnam.”

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The Humanitarian Costs Talk about Yemen is scant in American media. If it is covered it is likely to remind the public that Yemen is, and has been for years, the worst humanitarian crisis in the world. Millions are on the brink of starvation, diseases like Cholera wreak havoc, airstrikes have led to massive civilian casualties, and there are millions of internally displaced people. This is the making of all sides acting with impunity and falsely believing that the ends justify the means.

Though the Houthis are an indeginous movement they, like the Saudi-led coalition, are willing to violate the rights of Yemenis both militarily and politically.

The Houthis have used mines in civilian zones, indiscriminately shelled cities, abducted civilians, and have widespread corruption. The Houthi takeover in 2014 represented a shift from dialogue to armed intimidation in moving forward with Yemen’s transition. It is true that the transitional government had many issues such as corruption and ineffectiveness, but the Houthi decision solved nothing and exacerbated everything. Their willingness to accept Ali Saleh as a partner displays how their fight against corruption was, and still is, disingenuous. The Houthi saw an opportunity, and, though their motivations remain unclear, they allowed political opportunism to blind them to the needs of Yemen.

The Saudi-led coalition, for it’s part, has systematically destroyed Yemen with horrendous long term consequences. The airstrikes have not only led to absurdly unjustifiable civilian casualties occuring away from any military targets, but they have also destroyed much of Yemen’s vital infrastructure. Coupled with the use of double tap strikes — attacking the same area twice to target rescue crews when they begin saving survivors — it becomes clear that airstrikes fail to take precautions to mitigate civilian casualties. A nationwide blockade has led to the increased costs of goods, leading to reports of many starving to death as well as stunting the growth of thousands of malnourished children. Currently, if the war were to stop in 2019, Yemen’s development would be set back by over twenty years. Additionally, the deaths caused directly and indirectly by the war would stand at 230,000, largely due to the blockade and airstrikes. Under present circumstances, if the war continues for another decade, nearly two million would be dead, and Yemen’s development would be pushed back by another forty years. It is no wonder why a recent United Nations Development Program report determined that Yemen is on track to becoming the poorest country in the world.

However it does not end there. The destruction of cultural sites, environmental damage, and the psychological cost of war will continue to scar Yemen for decades to come. If the international community had the willingness and ability to effectively prosecute war criminals, no side of the Yemen conflict would leave untouched.

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Conclusion This war has been raging for years and the uselessness of military intervention has become apparent. What has also become evident is that this conflict is incredibly complex and does not boil down to a simple proxy war. While Iran certainly supports the Houthis in whatever capacity they can, it’s frequently overstated. This misconception about the nature of the war gives the Saudi-led Coalition a cover for their actions — casting the Houthis as puppets of Iran and portraying the intervention as necessary to counter their regional rival. The reality is that the current situation is the product of policies in place by Ali Saleh, Hadi, MbS, and Houthi leader Abdul-Malik al-Houthi. The proxy war misconception results in the belief that the solution to the crisis lies in pressuring Iran or Saudi Arabia to end their support for the warring sides as though local actors have no say or responsibility.

While the situation remains bleak, there is hope that the warring sides have realized the futility of war. There have been reports of direct and indirect talks between the Saudis and Houthis and signs that the United States may finally be serious in promoting an end to the conflict. As the Special Envoy of the Secretary-General for Yemen stated, “We’re beginning to see in the hearts and minds of those who make decisions about the war, the desire to make peace and the recognition at a fundamental level that there is no prospect for military advantage; that there is nothing to be won on the battlefield, and that there is a huge victory, of course, to be made in the terrain of negotiation.” If the warring sides face the reality that a military solution is too costly both for themselves and the population the war may actually end. But, if the systemic policies that led to the war are perpetuated, it will be impossible to prevent another war and achieve long lasting stability in a country that desperately needs it.*

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*DISCLAIMER: This piece was written and completed before the COVID-19 pandemic. As a result, future developments in the subject matter have not been included.

References “A Year on from Yemen Talks Breakthrough, Top UN Envoy Hails ‘Shift’ towards Peace, despite Setbacks | UN News.” United Nations News.

United Nations, December 13, 2019.

Anderson, Scott R. “Where Trump’s Veto Leaves the Yemen Resolution.” Brookings. Brookings, April 18, 2019.

Al-haj, Ahmed. “Saudi Arabia, Yemen’s Houthi Rebels in Indirect Peace Talks.” AP NEWS. Associated Press, November 13, 2019.

Al-Muslimi, Farea. “Tensions Rise between Yemen’s Saleh and Hadi.” Al-Monitor, April 11, 2018.

Barden, Justine. “U.S. Energy Information Administration - EIA - Independent Statistics and Analysis.” The Bab el-Mandeb Strait is a strategic route for oil and natural gas shipments - Today in Energy - U.S. Energy Information Administration (EIA). U.S Energy Energy, Information Administration, August 27, 2019.

Glazebrook, Dan. “The War in Yemen: A Modern-Day Vietnam for the Saudi-Led Coalition.” Middle East Eye, March 28, 2018.

Moyer, Jonathan D, Taylor Hanna, David K Bohl, and Brendan R Mapes. “PDF.” New York, 2019.

Nichols, Michelle. “Saudi Coalition Violated Law with Yemen Funeral Strike: U.N. Monitors.” Reuters. Thomson Reuters, October 20, 2016.

Rozen, Laura. “In Shift, State’s Hook Says Yemen’s Houthis Independent from Iran.” Al-Monitor, December 6, 2019.

Seche, Stephen. “Submit Documents to WikiLeaks.” Cable: 09SANAA2186_a. Wiki Leaks, December 9, 2009.

Slavin, Barbara. “US Maintains Intelligence Relationship with Houthis.” Al-Monitor, September 13, 2018.

Watkins, Ali, Ryan Grim, and Akbar Shahid Ahmed. “Iran Warned Houthis Against Yemen Takeover.” HuffPost. HuffPost, April 20, 2015.

“Yemen: Coalition Blockade Imperils Civilians.” Human Rights Watch, July 24, 2019.

THE PROPHET’S MASJID photos | wanees hannan

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existential love letter illustration | zanib naeem words | zanib naeem

oh my. what is all this i am staring

so intensely at all this creation what do i make of all this creation oh my oh my oily black doubts glitter betwixt and between my synapses

rapidly displacing feverishly multiplying yet, halting. for half a second when i see the sky laugh with new blue hues a china blue a parrot green a fading of mediterranean and the cosmic foaming of the sea i see oh i see, the need to explore and analyze every nuance is now a part of me it comes inherently i am not performing this for you these are my unseen galaxies

of thought and anxiety what does it mean to believe in the unseen

oh my i thought i

could study it i think i

can study it this this intrinsic spirituality this dimensionality this pattern of being a

transiency

brains giggling with faith neural networks buzzing divine can i touch this can i study the soul with MRI what else can i glean for my synapses to believe for you it comes so,,, beautifully i hear purple gems and rose rubies slip out of your mouth as you sing about knowing knowing of origin and return while happily ignorant of the mechanisms that might allow the eternal to be your gleeful music playing:

this is what faith is! it is a knowing a knowing without need for reproducibility or testability it is just knowing but i contest if we can grasp the corners of the unseen it would mean there is at least some tangibility and i contest that maybe there’s a reason why flowers feel like fragile forevers materialized why grassy gardens ripe with lilac and lilies and vastness register as soft pink awe and warm love to your neurotransmission i swear there is a conscious qualitative element to our processing of information that allows feeling to manifest and maybe maybe this consciousness is a loose thread of an infinite blanket maybe, we have always been here. oh my for you, sir, i am wasting time i am wasted time chasing ink smudges on bookends and missing the paragraphs in between kissing ideas and not people i know it must be strange to turn down physical pleasure so effortlessly but you are living for quick peachy ripeness that rots after you change your mind about her and i am living for

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a forever fruit of truth one that doesn’t decay or fall out of love with you but still with sickly sweet flurry you tell me i could be living in crystal dreams carefree and happy chiseling my own reality

alas, alas i contest these surface-level hollow smiles an absentminded affinity to superficiality distractions from what it means to be seems limiting irresponsible to the human psyche and just so silly i mean you are infused with so much capacity and how willingly you let it flee i promise i promise this is everything and you, oh you you are my favorite you are cubed jelly swaying lazily with no care of uncertainty gelatinous and slippery unconcerned about ambiguity it is okay to not know all the hows of genesis simply forget the intricacies of present fleeting moments right now we are here and right now we know we are here now. but this is so unfair so flitting so unwitting i am screaming soliloquies from my pottery wheel spinning spinning spinning wondering about where in white matter is a thought born into existence i mean how can you be okay when the divine theoretically concerns every spin state instance and superposition let me go the distance i will go the distance palms cupped wide open this knowledge is essential for the human condition i mean imagine if we knew that this whole time the tiny atom was just in a state of worship these buttery doubts melt until solid lipid is liquid they splash then pour and gush and rush and and and slow, then run

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of course i doubt it is easy for me to find islamic controversy and tension between

almost everything sects and hadith authentic or not, fatwa which foot to enter the bathroom with how to divorce your husband what do you owe your husband don’t look at men these clerics are doing a sinful disservice i promise you women can drive and speak their mind and men please don’t forget our souls are the same and purity is for the both of us you must give

no less

but what i can’t find

is if our spirits are trapezoid or boundless

pixelated streams or solid pockets and my oh my what color are they? meshes of silver and scatters of marigold honey nebulous net beading of ivory and daisies or maybe more cotton candy pink with sparks of rosewater and berries, lavender plums with glints of red cherry diamonds marooned in moonshine a gentle touch of mauve orchids and iris violets lime green emeralds brimming light maybe yours is sky contained with azure and arctic pearls glistening minty with cobalt fog all our souls budding then bursting just because interacting and diffusing collecting gathering then moving, gem flecks of gold misting between so though there is doubt i say how can i not believe when pools of magenta and crimson and turquoise exist in glassy complexion, knowing, knowing with a frightening gripping kind of certainty, that i was not responsible for their existence or my perception how can i not believe green waxy plant stems with capillaries bringing up driplets of old rivers i did not paint the reflection of the milky way on the silk eyes of two lovers oh my how can i not believe

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the quran unabatingly recites its song breastfeed your young here are harp strings of embryology and astronomy and geology history humanity the universe is stamped with eternal fingerprints branching out incessantly light parallels with repeated indents curling in like babies in mother’s tummies i want to hike this fingertip infinity my footsteps sinking into opal filled chasms teeming against blushed angel wings until i feel bathed in sun and scorched with celestial flush in you i find some peace you are so beautiful and yourself pores twinkling with stardust and eyelashes dancing with dark umber symphonies sprouting from your lips cracking with every octave i find god in the way you say bismillah bismillah bismillah i want to shrink myself so small and then even smaller into an unremarkable dot such an insignificant speck and sit inside the arabic of the quran right on top of the giddy

as i slide down and jump to the swirling inside the ink of the calligraphy please this is intimacy the intimacy i wish i had an intimacy i wish came naturally a want for intimacy that i know springs from these doubtful black greasy droplets i am soaked

in oil and

bleeding water

but oil and water don’t mix yet i will still rinse

photos | mahum kudia

TRIP TO PAKISTAN

The Shangri La Resort, in the northern Gilgit-Baltistan region of Pakistan, close to the Chinese Border

Sunset at Shangri La: Along the shores of Lower Kachura lake

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Deosai Plains, on the Deosai Plateau — the second highest plateau in the world, with an average elevation of 13,497 feet.

The Waterfall

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Satpara Lake

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One of many villages with elegant, quilt-like patchwork fields

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rabia al-adawiyya confessions of love words | chezliah osman photos | chezliah osman

R

abia Al-Adawiyya (714~718 CE - 801 CE) was one of the most prolific Sufi mystics, philosophers, and poets. Her work exudes a level of rare eloquence and love for Allah.

Her name “Rabia” originates from the number “four” in Arabic, signaling that she was the fourth child in her family. It was customary during her time that Arab families would name their children in terms of the chronological order of birth. Furthermore, she is known as Rabia Al-Basra because she was born in the town of Basra, Iraq, or Rabia Al-Qaysia because she was of the Qays tribe.

Renowned for her extreme piety and devotion to Allah, Rabia Al-Adawiyya gained global recognition for works dedicated to her faith and spirituality.

Most of her life was recorded by Farid al-Din Attar (a later Sufi saint, and poet) because there were no written works by Rabia Al-Adawiyya herself. She was raised in a poor family and became an enslaved woman after her father’s passing. Her master would witness her hours of prayer and dua to Allah during the night.

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“Lord! You know well that my keen desire is to carry out Your commandments and to serve Thee with all my heart, O light of my eyes. If I were free I would pass the whole day and night in prayers. But what should I do when you have made me a slave of a human being?”1.

According to Attar, once her master had heard her state these words, he set her free out of guilt and shame. She lived her life simply and dedicated her respect and love to Allah.

Rabia Al-Adawiyya established the doctrine of Divine Love which became extremely important in early Sufi literature. A complication of her life’s work was created as a small treatise over 50 years ago by Margaret Smith, a scholar on early Christian and Muslim mysticism.

She remained as a celibate woman despite being proposed with multiple marriage offers.

Rabia Al-Adawiyya passed away due to old age, an ascetic, and was the first in a long line of female Sufi mystics. In many ways, she serves as an inspiration on what it means to be spiritual and devout to a higher purpose and Being.

Her poems are centered within the main themes of love and faith in an Islamic context. Her words serve as an inspiration to many Muslims — a reminder to refocus our priorities in solidifying our own personal connection to Allah. In many ways, her work impresses upon this idea to place the dunya (life) as secondary to our spiritual needs.

Her impact has been so great within the Islamic world not only in an intellectual and literary context, but also within cinema. Rabea El Adawaya came out in 1963 in Egypt. It follows her life from enslavement to freedom to live as an incredible scholar and poet. It is important to recognize that her work aids in creating a space for the intersections of academics, art, and culture.

There have been many legends and myths told about her, but what is known to be fact is her devotion to living as a spiritual and religious human being. The next pages display her two most popular pieces, “Oh my Lord” and “Love”.

1

Baroud, Ramzy. “Who Is Egypt’s Rabaa Al-Adawiya?” Al Arabiya English, Al Arabiya English, 20 May 2020, english.alarabiya.net/en/views/news/middle-east/2013/08/24/Who-is-Egypt-s-Rabaa-al-Adawiya-.html.

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OH MY LORD poetry | rabia al-adawiyya

O my Lord, If I worship you from fear of hell, burn me in hell.

If I worship you from hope of Paradise, bar me from its gates.

But if I worship you for yourself alone, grant me then the beauty of your

Grand Mosque: Hijabi

Face.

“Oh my Lord” explains eloquently that her worship is not based on the desire for Jannah and pleasure, but solely for the grace and majesty of Allah. Usually, Jannah is known to be a motivating factor for why a Muslim would practice their religion. The assumption is that after the trials and tribulations that life brings, one should maintain a steadfastness to their faith with the hopes of being rewarded in an after-life — Jannah. Rabia Al-Adawiyya is unique in that her love is not based on this reward, as she would feel this to be inadequate for Allah’s glory. She expressed a rare devotion and love that centers itself in Allah and purely for His sake.

Grand Mosque: Archways

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LOVE poetry | rabia al-adawiyya

I have loved Thee with two loves:

But in the love which is worthy of

a selfish love and a love that is

Thee,

worthy of Thee.

Thou dost raise the veil that I may see Thee.

As for the love which is selfish,

Yet is the praise not mine in this

Therein I occupy myself with

or that,

Thee,

But the praise is to Thee in both

to the exclusion of all others.

that and this.

Grand Mosque: Pillar 69

Grand Mosque: Prayer Room

“Love� is an extension of devout rhetoric by noting that this adoration for Allah manifests itself in two ways: a love that she desires to encompass herself in, and a love that is awakened because He is completely and utterly deserving. Allah is deserving because He created everything that we know to exist and beyond. He has provided us with life, and the opportunity to gain forgiveness and mercy from Him despite any wrongdoings. He transcends all that is created, and for that magnitude of power, any love that we have should also be rooted in this basis.

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Muscat, Oman: Mountains

The poems “Oh my Lord” and “Love” are some of Rabia Al -Adawiyya’s more well-received pieces because of her deep profession of faith and love. She was critical during her time because a rise in desire for the material world was elevating and the focus on spirituality was dwindling. As a result of her immense knowledge and dedication to fulfilling a devout lifestyle, her works reinstalled a connection with one’s faith and higher consciousness in the world.

Rabia Al -Adawiyya is a story of resilience, freedom, and ingenuity in continuing on a path of seeking knowledge and creating literary masterpieces in the face of both slavery and poverty. Her journey serves as our reminder to maintain the deen regardless of how the dunya manifests itself in distracting us from this enlightenment.

Muscat, Oman: City

JOURNEY THROUGH JORDAN photos | sana imran words | sana imran

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Jordan — a city filled with vibrant culture, natural beauty, and delectable cuisine.

It boasts beautiful diversity, is home to a coalition of refugees from the Middle East, and attracts tourists from all around to visit one of the Wonders of the World.

What fascinated me most about the city is how much there is to see in such a small space.

The heart of the city, Amman, is a microcosm of the vibrant and homely feeling that the country embodies.

The historic charm of the ancient city of Petra, the soaring sandstone mountains and majestic rock formations of Wadi Rum, and the unique wonders of the Dead Sea are only a few of Jordan’s many exquisite features.

Despite the rigid security measures the city must take to preserve it’s safety, Jordan harbors an unequivocal culture of hospitality and an overwhelming acceptance of other cultures. As they would like to put it, ” “ – beauty is hidden in everything, just learn how to observe.

notable mentions photo credits Thanks to Sana Imran and Wanees Hannan for the cover photo and inside cover photo, respectively.

2019 - 2020 board We are especially thankful to the members of the 2019-2020 board; we could not have published this 2020 issue without their help, effort and dedication to threads. editor in chief | nawal seedat social media director | javairia abbasi marketing director | ameena qureshi web editor | saneeha shamshad finance director | rania mirza print editor | marwa doost print editor | aamna haq

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