A BIKER’S CREED I ride because it is pure fun. I ride because I enjoy the freedom I feel from being exposed to the elements, and the vulnerability to the danger that is intrinsic to riding. I do not ride because it is fashionable to do so. I ride because it is natural and is what I have done all my life. I ride my machine, not wear it. My machine is not a symbol of status. It exists simply for me, and me alone. My machine is not a toy. It is an extension of my being, and I will treat it accordingly, with the same respect as I have for myself. I strive to understand the inner-workings of my machine, from the most basic to the most complex. I will learn everything I can about my machine, so that I am reliant upon no one but myself for its health and well being. I strive to constantly better my skill of control over my machine. I will learn its limits, and use my skill to become one with my machine so that we may keep each other alive. I am the master, it is the servant. Working together in harmony, we will become an invincible team. I do not fear death. I will, however, do all possible to avoid death prematurely. Fear is the enemy, not death. Fear on the highway leads to death, therefore I will not let fear be my master. I will master it. My machines will outlive me. Therefore, they are my legacy. I will care for them for future bikers to cherish as I have cherished them, whoever they may be. I do not ride to gain attention, respect, or fear from those that do NOT ride, nor do I wish to intimidate or annoy them. For those that do not know me, all I wish from them is to ignore me. For those that desire to know me, I will share with them the truth of myself, so that they might understand me and not fear others like me. I will never be the aggressor on the highway. However, should others mess with me, their aggression will be dealt with in as severe a manner as I can cast upon them. I will show respect to other bikers more experienced or knowledgeable than I am. I will learn from them all I can. However, if my respect is not acknowledged or appreciated, it will end. I will not show disrespect to other bikers less experienced or knowledgeable than I am. I will teach them what I can. However, if they show me disrespect, they will be slapped. It will be my task to mentor new riders, that so desire, into the lifestyle of the biker, so that the breed shall continue. I shall instruct them, as I have been instructed by those before me. I shall preserve and honor traditions of bikers before me, and I will pass them on unaltered. I will not judge other bikers on their choice of machine, their appearance, or their profession. I will judge them only on their conduct as bikers. I am proud of my accomplishments as a biker, though I will not flaunt them to others. If they ask, I will share them. I will stand ready to help any other biker that truly needs my help. I will never ask another biker to do for me what I can do for myself. I am not a part-time biker. I am a biker when, and wherever I go. I am proud to be a biker, and hide my chosen lifestyle from no one. I ride because I love freedom, independence, and the movement of the ground beneath me. But most of all, I ride to better understand myself, my machine, the lands in which I ride, and to seek out and know other bikers like myself. –Anonymous-
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We are GRATEFUL and THANKFUL for all the ANGELS that lend us a wing, on a daily basis.
National Photojournalist Cooper Chilton
Merry Hancock
Ronny Mangrum aka “Rebel Ron”
Layout & Design Graphic Design Artist
Nina “Biskit” Shearon itsbiskit@yahoo.com
Mechele MacDaniel Regional Director Middle Tennessee 615-496-1493
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Bob “Bulldog” Ousley Do YOU have what it takes to be the next Regional Director of the KNOXVILLE, CHATTANOOGA or Memphis area? Give us a call 615-792-0040
Da’Olde & Mitzi Alaska Correspondents
ON THE COVER
Toni McCoy Shearon & Brian Shearon
1528 Matlock Drive Chapmansboro, TN 37035 Corporate Office: 615-792-0040 Fax: 615-792-7580 e-mail: thunderroads@charter.net
Chaplain’s Corner
FROM THE CORNER OF VETERAN’S DRIVE AND PATRIOT’S WAY
NATIONAL FOUNDERS
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Ron Baptiste aka Pastor Ron
Toni & Brian, Founders, Thunder Roads Magazine Network
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CALENDAR OF EVENTS LISTINGS Contact: Mechele “Me-Mac” MacDaniel, Events Calendar Administrator for TRM 615-496-1493 or, e-mail them to: events@thunderroadstennessee.com What’s on the site goes in the mag!
DISTRIBUTED IN TENNESSEE ONLY!
(We Have State Owners/Publishers, Not Regional Sales Areas)
Just How Many Mags From The Wannabe’s Actually Stay In Tennessee When They Sell To So Many Regional Areas?
Hello Bikers……we just got back from vaca late last night and here we are slamming on this mag to make sure we get it out to YOU, our loyal readers, so PLEASE do not forget the loyal Advertisers that allow us to print your fave biker mag and shop those Advertisers that support your Thunder Roads. Thank you for that by thanking them for that. Loyalty begets loyalty. And let me tell you, we left this great United States of America to a very poor country; Bonaire in the DutchNetherlands, to do a scuba-diving excursion and one thing this country girl knows is it is good to go away and relax and recharge the batteries, but there is no place like home, ever, and there is no Country as phenomenal as the United States of America. I say a prayer daily for the privilege of being an American. I am humbled and proud. Check out our big Easyrider Show spread. It was a major success this year and keeps getting bigger and better every year. Love it! And hope they love us enough to stay put right here in Music City Nashville. Just look at all the beautiful bikes and drool baby, drool, your heart away. We damn sure did! Season will be here before you know it and we look forward to just getting out and seeing friends we haven’t seen all winter. We saw many at Easyrider, but we have many more to visit. I’m writing this on the 20th of February and going to print tomorrow. Our temp. today is getting up to 72 degrees so it won’t be long till that’s an every single day occurrence. I hope all my dang gorgeous flower bulbs I planted last season took hold and produces 100’s of beautiful spring flowers…..a total array of magnificent colors! I love color.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF ITS CONTENT MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION. PUBLISHER ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY AND IS NOT TO BE HELD LIABLE FOR ERRORS BEYOND THE COST OF THE SPACE OCCUPIED BY THE ERROR, SLANDER OF ANY GROUP OR INDIVIDUAL, FAILURE TO PRODUCE ANY ISSUE AS SCHEDULED DUE TO REASONS BEYOND OUR CONTROL, ANY AND ALL SUITS FOR LIABLE, PLAGIARISM, COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND UNAUTHORIZED USE OF A PERSON’S NAME OR PHOTOGRAPH. OPINIONS AND CLAIMS MADE BY ADVERTISERS AND AUTHORS ARE THEIR OWN, AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE POLICY OF THUNDER ROADS MAGAZINE OR THUNDER PUBLISHING. PUBLISHER DOES NOT PROMOTE THE ABUSE OF ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS.
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FIFTEEN YEARS of bringing you Thunder Roads. How incredible is that? A dang hillbilly and a Florida beach bunny…..who the hell woulda’ thunk? It’s been our honor to serve you and celebrate this major ANNIVERSARY. We’re trying to hook up a major par-tay to take place in Tunica so all our loyal readers can meet us there and party with us and have more fun than monkey porn. Details to come. But the odds of a start-up magazine making it to 15 Years are over a million to one; I Googled it. But for the Grace of God and our loyal Advertisers and Readers we would never have accomplished this goal so THANK YOU ADVERTISERS & BIKERS, one and all. Sincerely. We tell you every month, but let me tell you for the 180th time……We Love Ya’ Bikers! Live, Laugh, Ride, but most of all……LOVE. toni girl & brian bear
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Chaplain’s Corner Pastor Ron Baptiste Founder of Covenant Confirmers Ministries Inc. www.covenantconfirmers.org Founder of Tennessee Biker Medical Clinic Inc. www.tennesseebikermedicalclinic.org TN.COC State Chaplain www.tenncoc. homestead.com Member of NCOM Christian Unity Council www.facebook.com/NCOM.Christian.Unity Pastor Ron’s messages can now be downloaded off the website Leadership Skills can now be downloaded off the website
“SEASONS”
Every denomination was started by a “move of God,” but when God starts a new move somewhere else, the If any of us expect to be successful in this modern current church will reject it because it didn’t start with age that we live in, we must be able to recognize the them. When you think of all the moves of God that were “Seasons & Phases” that we go through, whether started and rejected by the church; healing, deliverance, it is personal, professional, in ministry, or the M/C the youth movement (late 60’s), charismatic movement, culture. We can not live from moment to moment in prosperity movement, were all rejected by the church, today society and expect to be around much longer. where do you think “tent revivals” started? Man Everything is evolving; socially, economically, prostituted all these movements and they ended leaving spiritually, legally, technically and at a very fast rate. behind a small remnant of their hay day. Matt.17:1-4 Our biggest enemy is not all the new laws that are Peter, James & John were on the Mt. Transfiguration aimed at our culture, but it’s “Time & Technology,” and saw their “First Revelation” and said: “Lord it is we are running out of time and we are behind in good for us to be here, (Greek: to remain here) if thy technology. Our problem like every other culture in will, let us make here three tabernacles.” They all this society, none of us like “CHANGE.” People that wanted to stay on that mountain top, if they had; they get established in a certain lifestyle, it’s traumatic for would have missed out on everything else that God them to change. People in mainstream denominations did after that! That’s where most of us are, we want to will change their biblical doctrine before they change stay with our first revelation and not move, but God is their ways. Everybody feels the need to protect their forever moving “First Revelation” (an event that changed their lives), Isaiah 43:18-19 “Remember ye not the former things, but we must be very careful that our first revelation does not turn into “A Tradition.” Mark 7:13 “Making neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know the Word of God of no effect through the Traditions it? Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. of men.” Every culture whether it is the biker culture See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you or the church culture never moves pass their first revelation. Example: we don’t live in the same culture not perceive it?” If you choose to stay with your first that we did in the 90’s, what worked back then will not revelation and not change, you’ll get left behind, you work now. That’s why we see a big drop of membership can still keep your “Old School” values, but you must adapt to this current society. Remember: “WHAT GOT in denominations. In the biker culture there are more YOU HERE, WILL NOT KEEP YOU HERE!” people riding motorcycles now than ever, and most of Until next time, keep your face in the wind and your them want to wear an “M/C Patch” on their back, thus creating one of the biggest problems that our culture has kickstand up. ever faced. While church memberships are declining, To be found faithful, patch holders are going through the roof. The church Pastor Ron needs to stop and take notice of what is going on.
rebel ron flashback
patiently waiting for riding weather By: Rebel Ron
Sitting in my office watching it snow outside while waiting for clear roads & warmer temps as I struggle to come up with a topic for this month’s article. A year ago I did an article of all sorts of photos that a couple of beer drinking pals & I found online with consuming some Blue Ribbons during inclement weather. I got a lot of good feedback from that article so here is another one. Hope y’all enjoy it. Also hope you all have a great & safe 2014. Now all we need is warmer weather so we can get back in the wind & the ladies stop wearing so many clothes. :) Ride safe & often!
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K.I.S.S. page composed & edited by: Toni McCoy Shearon aka “MaMa Thunder” of Thunder Roads Tennessee i have chosen this name for our monthly recipe page, as that was what my mother, rest her soul, always used to say when I would assist her in the kitchen. mom was an avid supporter of the kiss (keep it simple sweetie) method of cooking. i now, more than ever, truely appreciate her philosophy of always taking shortcuts where you can, as long as your ultimate outcome is that of down home, labor of love cooking.
K.I.S.S. page composed & edited by: Toni McCoy Shearon aka “MaMa Thunder” of Thunder Roads Tennessee
LEPRECHAUN’S STEAK & EGGS BENEDICT 1 Piece a Person of Thick Bread; sour dough or I like raisin bread, a baquette, whatevs. Toast it up. 1 Minimum of a 16 oz. Strip Steak (if you marinade it a half-hour out in mustard & Worcestershire sauce, it makes it a whole lot more tender and flavorful. 8 Large Eggs Quality Margarine (I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter) or actual real Butter. Salt & Pepper to Taste BLENDER CHEESE SAUCE: 8 Egg Yolks 4 Tbls. Lemon Juice Couple Dashes of Louisiana Hot Sauce Salt & Pepper to Taste 1 Cup of Unsalted Butter or Margarine; melted If you have a grill skillet use it to get the grill marks on the steak. Cook in a tab of margarine, on medium-high until good & caramelized (at least on front side). Once your steak is done the way you like it, put it on a plate and let it rest (resting allows all the juices to go back into the steak), while you make the rest of the recipe. In a separate large, non-stick skillet, put in a couple pats of margarine, let it melt down and skillet get hot and crack your eggs into it. Let cook till outer edges crisp up and flip. Remove not long after flipping. You want the yolks nice and creamy & runny. In blender, add all ingredients for 20 seconds, pour into the lid hole part, very slowly now, the melted butter just a little at a time or you’ll end up with scrambled eggs. Add your salt & pepper last. Cut your steak on the bias (opposite of the way the grain runs) and cut at a slant. Put your buttered toast down, then layer 4 or 5 pieces of steak on the toast then drizzle the cheese sauce all over top. Garnish with some Parsley flakes. OMG! Break your eggs and let it all mix in together and dip your steak in it.....hot damn, this’ll make you pat your own back It’s that damn good. POT O’ GOLD LIL’ APPLE PIE CRESCENTS 1 Can of Sliced Apples w/ Sauce & Cinnamon 1/2 Cup of Butter or Quality Margarine; melted 1 Pkg. of Your Favoite Brand of Crescent Dinner Rolls 1 tsp. of Nutmeg 1 Tbls. of Light Brown Sugar March 2014
In a small sauce pan, mix up and heat up, on low, all the ingredients apart from the Crescent Rolls. Heat up oven to 375 degrees. Crack open your can of rolls and smooth out on counter. Add a big Tablespoon of the warm (not hot) mixture to widest part of roll. Spread it all the way across. Slowly and carefully start wrapping. Fold one fold over mixture and gently push in each side to form like a little burrito. Continue to gently fold all the way till the pointed end. Lay out on a cookie sheet or round pan lined with alum. foil (but remember, the reflection makes them cook faster), but cook until golden brown and not a minute longer. Remove from oven and cover with alum. foil and tuck it in around bottom to keep hot while you make glaze. GLAZE: Mix together....... 1 Cup of Confectioner’s Sugar 2 tsps. of Lime Juice 1 Tbls. of Cinnamon Mix until runny-thick consistency. Add a drop of water or two if need be. But dunk each crescent roll into the glaze mixture and let set up on a paper plate. These are exceptionally delicious with your hot coffee in the morning or with hot tea later in the day. Make up a BIG batch. They’re magically deliciious! A WEE HAIR O’ THE DOG THAT BIT YOU.... *This is BOLD & SPICEY & KICK-ASS! 2 & 1/2 ozs. Quality Vodka 3 Ounces of GREEN Tomato Bloody Mary Mix (get at any liquor store) 1 & 1/2 ozs. Green Tomato Juice & Red Tomato Juice, both. 3/4 ozs. Lime Juice 3/4 ozs. Lemon Juice 1 Tbls. Horseradish sauce (in condiment aisle) *I like the creamy style already blended with mayo & sour cream 1/4 oz. Worcestershire sauce 1/4 oz. Green Hot Sauce Large Pinch of Salt Blend it up, baby. Don’t add ice to blender as will just dilute. Pour over cracked ice, or let sit in freezer for 5 mins. in to get icey, icey cold. Have fun but drink smart w/ a designated driver HAPPY ST. PATTY’S DAY, BIKERS!
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t was a beautiful Saturday, in the mid 40’s but sunshine! Yes. Sunshine changes everything! We were set up across from Mike Ballard & Angie (AngieLand Dancers) of Full Throttle and Brian got a chance to go say Hi! but the booth was totally slammed all day long. I only got to pee once and that’s coming from a chick with a bladder the size of a mouse bladder. The BIKES…..my favorite was once that my daughter and I named “Mocha Dream”, if you were there you know exactly the one I was talking about. Drop-dead Gorgeous! (check out all the pics for just some of the Best of the Best). * Thank you Cooper for all the pics. The Vendors were also the best we’ve seen at any Show in a long time. When you do a 1-Day Show of
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this magnitude you just attract the unique and top shelf ones’ not often seen at many smaller shows. The beer may be a bit pricier but hey….try ordering a beer at any downtown Nashville bar, baby, you be hitting bottom in your wallet in no time. It is what it is and if you want to go to the Show, you gotta’ pay the price. But the gate price of $20. is definitely fair and you can’t beef about that. We had so much fun seeing peeps we hadn’t seen in a very long time; advertisers and other friends in kind. And we love cutting up with everyone that comes by the booth. The interaction is what makes it so much fun. We had (2) giant skulls on each end of two 8 foot tables. I had named them Fred & Earl a long time ago and everyone wanted their pics taken with Fred & Earl. Earl napped most of the day, but Fred was ready for the Show and eyes glowing bright red and laughing that ghoulishy creepy way all day long. Fred loves a party! The Stage, as always, at the Easyrider Show is constantly moving……girls dancing, girls fashion show, girls, girls, girls! The Purrfect Angelz show was excellent, Sons of Anarchy Star; Mark “Bobby” Boone was signing autographs and the vibe was just one of FUN!
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We totally enjoyed being at the Easyrider Show and it wasn’t work at all….it was just hanging out with our fellow bikers and joking with friends. We are so revved that they’ve moved it to Nashville (for good we hope) and the Music City Convention Center is awesome and so much room to roam. Don’t miss it next year because you truly do get your money’s worth. See you there next year! THANK YOU COOPER CHILTON FOR ALL THE FAB PICS!
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CLUBS
Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs of the The Great State of Tennessee www.tenncoc.com Board Members State Chairman: Byrdman 1%er, AOA State VP Chairman: Tommy 1%er, AOA State Treasurer: Doc, 4 Way In No Way Out MC COC Chaplain: Pastor Ron Baptiste, Covenant Confirmers MC AIM/NCOM Attorney: James J. Ramsey (Pops) Keltics MC Tennessee Member Listing 2012-2013 4-Way In No Way Out MC American Steel MC A.R.M. Bikers For Christ M/M Black Pistons MC Boozefighters MC Bond Slaves MC Brothers of the Wheel MC Confederates MC Confederate Drifters MC Copperheads MC Covenant Confirmers MC Currahee MC Double Knuckle MC E.B.G.B. MC Fire and Iron MC Grim Reapers MC Highlanders MC His Laboring Few M/M In Country MC Iron Horsemen MC Iron Riders MC Keltics MC Leathernecks MC Leathernecks Confederation MC Mountain Rebels MC New Attitudes MC Nightriders MC Outlaws MC Peacemakers MC Soldiers for Jesus MC Sons of God MC Southern Sons MC Southern Souls MC Sons of Pennyrile MC Southern Journeymen MC Tri-Cities Motorcyclist MC True Sons MC Unforgotten MC US Military Vets MC Velvet Hammer MC Vendetta’s MC Vietnam Vets Legacy Vets MC Widowmakers MC Wind and Fire MC Zombies MC
ORGANIZATIONS BACA www.bacausa.com Volunteer State Chapter-Lebanon, TN (865-951-4224) E Volunteer State Chapter-Vonore, TN (615-715-5039) BIKERS WHO CARE www.bikerewhocane.org Bikers Who Care is a organization of motorcycle enthusiasts dedicated to supporting The Dream Factory of Clarksville, TN by sponsoring Camp Rainbow, a summer camp for seriously ill children BLUE KNIGHTS The BLUE KNIGHTS® is a non-profit fraternal organization consisting of active and retired law enforcement men & women who enjoy riding motorcycles. www.blueknightstnv. bizland.com CMT/ABATE CMT/ABATE, Inc. is not a •Biker Club”, but a nonprofit, political organization that was formed to preserve feedom and safety for all Tennesseans who enjoy motorcycling. Our major goals are to modify existing laws that are detrimental to motorcycle safety and enjoyment, and to enact new legislation in support of motorcyclists who ride in Tennessee. If you are concerned about preserving personal freedom and motorcycle safety, we urge you to join. Local charters play a major rote in making CMT/ABATE, Inc. an effective organization by contacting their area legislators to inform them of how the local membership feels about issues affecting motorcyclists. PO BOX 1991 MADISON, TN 37116 615-860-1991 Email: lnfo@cmtabate.com
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MOTORCYCLE AWARENESS FOUNDATION OF TENNESSEE WWW.MAFT.US MAFT is a non-profit 501-C-3 tax-exempt organization. We believe that educating the public to have the proper respect for motorcyclists as well other highway users will reduce accidents and deaths on our highways. We hope to reduce motorcycle accidents caused by inattentive drivers resulting in avoidable right of way collisions. Our Campaign Save A Life program is teaching new drivers in our High Schools awareness and defensive techniques to avoid
these accidents. MAFT honors the survivors, the lost and the families of these accident victims at a Vigil each autumn. = Awareness, Respect and Education MAFTINFO@AOL.COM 615-799-8600 Motor Maids, Inc. A diverse group of women motorcyclists united through a passion for riding while fostering a positive image and promoting safe riding skills. www.motormaids.org PATRIOT GUARD RIDERS www.PatriotGuard.org If you have any questions, please feel free to contact PGR State Captain Annette (Dreamcatcher) 615-974-3046 ROLLING THUNDER TENNESSEE www.rollingthundertn1.com Rolling Thunder®, Inc.’s major function is to publicize the POW-MlA issue. To educate the public of the fact that many American prisoners of war were left behind after all past wars. To help correct the past and to protect the future veterans from being left behind should they become prisoners of war-missing in action. We are committed to helping American veterans from all wars! ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 1 TN Pres. Jay Barnes, Murfreesboro 615-364-1029, www.rollingthundertn1.com ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 2 TN Pres. Gerri Tramel , Soddy-Daisy 423-843-1061 www.rollingthundertn2.org ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 3 TN Pres. Clay Tumlin, Knoxville 865-457-4507 rttn3@comcast.net ROLLING THUNDER®, INC., CHAPTER 4 TN Pres. Alan Sipe, Johnson City 423-329-3152, www.rollingthundertn4.com ROLLING THUNDER®, INC. Rolling Thunder Chapter 6 Pres. Mike Morel, Martin City 731-431-2411 www.rollingthundertn6.com SONS OF LIBERTY RIDERS Action Not Words - NOW! Riders organizing to support and defend this country. A political movement of riders. All riders welcome! In addition to welcoming members of any other organization or affiliation. Welcoming non-riders and supporters as well. sonsoflibertyriders.com T.H.R.C.A. The Tennessee Honda Riders Club www.mthrc.org Kerbela Motor Corps Donnie Anderson 865-806-2097 www.shrinershq.org TN VALLEY RIDERS Fayettevilte,TN Web page: tennesseevalleyriders.org Doesn’t matter what you ride or who you are everyone welcome. No dues, Fun Riding Group helping those in need. For more info triplef@cafes.net GWRRA We are the world’s largest single-marque social organization for owners and riders of Honda Gold Wing & Valkyrie motorcycles and, some would say, the world’s largest family. Dedicated to our motto, Friends for Fun, Safety and Knowledge, GWRRA members enjoy the freedom of belonging to a not-for-profit, non-reigious and non-political organization. http://www.gwrra.org MID SOUTH RIDERS Meetings held the 2nd Sunday of the month @ Shady Rest Biker Bar,Timbte,TN www.midsouthriders.com ASSOCIATIONS VFW Post 5266 Morristown, TN Riders Association Open to all active duty, reservists, guards, and retired military members who are eligible to join the VFW. We meet at 7PM the 3rd Thurs. of each month at the Morristown VFW Post 5266. We are a Veteran driven Association, that supports the surrounding areas Veterans. We also support locally “The Daily Bread and Food On Foot.” Contact Michael Jacobs, President VFW Riders Association @ 423-312-6220 or on FaceBook @ VFW Riders Morristown, TN Christian Motorcyclists Association Organized in 1975 for the purpose of reaching the motorcycle world with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The only requirement for becoming a member of CMA is that you be a Christian. For more info contact the TN State Coordinator, JW Allgood, 615-830-3183 or jwa400@comcast.net. TENNESSEE CHAPTERS Athens/Trinity Warriors #994 Kingsport/Rays of the Son #199 Chattanooga/Choo-Choo Wheels Knoxville/Inspiration Riders #64 of Worship #204 McMinnville/Holy Spirit Clarksville/Prayerborne Reigns #887 Eagles #467 Memphis/Wheels of Grace #710 Cleveland/Gatekeeper #615 Morristown/Lakeway Warriors #999 Columbia/Knights for Christ #448 Murfreesboro/Cornerstone Cookeville/Blood Bought Riders #940 Bikers #614 Mt. Juliet/Steel Witness #1205 Covington/Ransomed Riders #898 Nashville/Lions of Judah #405 Crossville/Cumberland Cruisers Paris/West TN Cruisers for Christ #802 for Christ #1002 Cumberland Gap/Clinton Pulaski/Redemption Riders #1100 Forming Chapter #2508 Springfield/ Bikers of Grace Dover/Iron Horse Revelators #1210 Forming Chapter #2738 Dyersburg/Dyersburg Tullahoma/Outriders for Christ #616 Disciples #978 Union City/Reelfoot Light Jackson/Steelhorse Prophets #709 Riders #897 Jonesborough/Fellowship of the Unashamed #1208
Revelators Motorcycle Ministries Bristol TN Meeting and ride 1st Sat each month @ Burger king on west state st @ 830 am more info frank@ 423-963-5850 chaplin john @423-323-8812 www.revelatorsmm.com Road Riders for Jesus Ministries Road Riders For Jesus is an independent, Christian faith based, motorcycle ministry that began in 1999 near St. Louis, MO. We now have over 4,000 members worldwide. To find a local chapter, call Mike at 615-828-6446 or go to the national website at www.roadridersforjesus.org. Also check us out on Facebook! Confederate Sons Association Cookeville, Tennessee see our web site for more info www.ConfederateSonsAssociation.com or e-mail larrybarnes@ConfederateSonsAssociation.com Mercy Hands Street Ministries P.O. Box 1515 Dickson, TN 37056 931-670-2351 Hog Heaven Ministries Harley Riders for Jesus Vic Richardson 931-729-1091 hogheavennmislries@yahoo.com GOLD WING TOURING ASSN. CHAPTER HARPETH VALLEY RIDERS Contact Damy & Joyce Emter, Chapter Directors Phone: 615-244-1456 e: DannyEmter@msn.com American Legion Riders (Post 95, Eastridge,TN) Open to American Legion Members and Associates. We participate in parades, ceremonies, and promote motorcycle safety. We also provide a social atmosphere for Legion members who share the same interests. Join us for Fun, friendship and interesting motorcycle rides. ezriderintn@aol.com Black Sheep Black Sheep Harley-Davidsons for Christ is more than just a motorcycle club. It’s a motorcycle ministry of men and women that ride for Jesus: helping and serving H.O.G. members and chapters across the country. For more information contact Jeff Pierce 615.653.5065 or visit our web site: wwwblacksheephdfc.org Road Riders for Jesus Motorcycle Ministries Chattanooga, TN. Meeting and ride 3rd Sat each month @ City Cafe on corner Lee Hwy and Bonny Oaks @ 11:00 AM more info Johnny @ 423 605 5026 ,www.roadridersforjesus.org The Biker Church Covenant Confirmers Ministries Inc. www.covenantconfirmers.org Three Degrees Masonic Motorcycle Club Contact: Grang Chapter Secretary @ e-mail: ironmason@hotmail.com or Past President: Free Bird @ freebird3d@yahoo.com
#435 Beech River #273 Bristol #034 Chatanooga #058 Clarksville #410 Copperhill #323 Covington #285 Crossroads #320 Cumberland Gap #423 Eagle Bluff
Southern Cruisers www.southerncruisers.net #211 Golden Circle #250 Greenville #282 Highland Rim #000 Memphis #006 Middle #059 Montgomery Bell #077 Northeast #483 Northwest #153 Shiloh
Wheels Of Faith Ministry A nondenominational organization with the purpose and goal of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ through word & work, and to provide a Christian atmosphere where we gather and ride our motorcycles. www.wheelsoffaith. com W.O.W. Women on Wheels Cool Lady Cruisers Chattanooga, TN joandcharlie@bellsouth.net HOG CHAPTERS The Dragon Chapter, Maryville 865-977-1669 Eastern TNChapter 865-457-7893 Ghost River Chapter Collierville, TN ghostriverhog.com
Mule Town Chapter 931--540-0099 www.muletownrider.com Nashville Music City Chapter 615-242-6067 Northwestern 731-885-1792
Golden Circle Jackson Chapter 731-627-2288 www.qchoq.com
Thunder Creek Chattanooga Chapter 423-892-4888
Middle Tennessee 615-771-7775
Tri City Chapter 423-283-0422
Murfreesboro Chapter 615-849-8025 615-242-6067
Tuckessee Clarksville Chapter (931)648-1607
The Dragon Chapter, Maryville 865-977-1669
Twin Lakes Morristown Chapter 423-586-5343
Memphis Chapter
Upper Cumberland Chapter 931-526-3139
webguru@memphishog.com THUNDER 28 THUNDERROADS ROADSMAGAZ MAGAZ THUNDER ROADS MAGAZ 2829
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#246 South Central #001 Tennessee Valley #130 Upper Cumberland #193 West Tennessee
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Bullet Points nrA neWs Detroit Police chief Agrees: More guns, less criMe Except among dyed-in-the-wool anti-gun fanatics, it is a commonly accepted fact that Right-to-Carry laws not only do not cause crime to increase, they may deter violent crimes. It is also firmly established that people who have carry permits are statistically more law-abiding then people who do not. And the number of RTC states and carry permit holders reached all-time highs as the nation’s murder rate fell to nearly an all-time low.
And the numbers bear that out. The article notes that Detroit police have reported 73 “justifiable homicides” in the city since 2011, 15 of them occurring in 2013. Most of these cases involved citizens like 77-year-old Willie White, who in 2012, fatally shot a man who’d broken into his home. White’s home had been broken into several times before, but after he defended himself, the break-ins stopped. “I think these criminals would definitely think twice if they knew more citizens were armed,” White said. “I know it stopped them from breaking into my place.”
chicAgo’s fireArM trAnsfer BAn fAlls to seconD AMenDMent ruling Things are looking up for gun owners in Illinois. On Monday (1/13/14), as some 4,500 concealed carry applications flooded the state’s online portal on its first full day of operation, Obama-appointed U.S. District Judge Edmond E. Chang of the Northern District of Illinois issued a significant opinion that invalidated Chicago’s ban on firearm sales and transfers within the city. The suit was brought by the Illinois Association of Firearms Retailers and three individuals, with the backing of NRA.
That brings us to Detroit, which has seen its share of crime over the years and which in 2012 had the highest murder rate of any major U.S. city. The Detroit News reports that the city’s police chief, James Craig, offered a solution to reduce crime: allowing law-abiding citizens to obtain concealed carry permits. That’s not a position typically espoused by big-city police chiefs. And Chief Craig didn’t always think that way either. According to the article, Craig had worked for nearly 30 years in the Los Angeles Police Department, before moving east to become the police chief in Portland, Maine. It was there, in Maine, that he started believing that lawabiding gun owners could deter crime. “Coming from California where it takes an act of Congress to get a concealed weapon permit, I got to Maine, where they give out lots of CCWs (carrying concealed weapon permits), and I had a stack of CCW permits I was denying; that was my orientation. “I changed my orientation real quick. Maine is one of the safest places in America. Clearly, suspects knew that good Americans were armed.” Chief Craig’s statements echo those he made last month, when he said that good citizens with concealed pistol licenses, “translates into crime reduction.” 16
The Chicago transfer ban was part of a series of ordinances the city hastily enacted after its total ban on handgun possession was invalidated by the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals’ 2010 opinion in McDonald v. Chicago. Chicago’s crusade to be the nation’s most oppressive jurisdiction for gun owners has yielded other important victories for the Second Amendment. These included the Seventh Circuit’s holding in 2011’s Ezell v. Chicago that Chicago’s ban on discharge (notwithstanding its requirement that residents obtain livefire training as a condition of owning a gun in the city) was unconstitutional. Other aspects of the city’s wide-ranging gun control regime have been whittled down in response to litigation and the broad preemption provisions of Illinois’ recently-enacted Firearm Concealed Carry Act (the result of yet another successful Second Amendment case in the Seventh Circuit, 2011’s Shepard v. Madigan). The transfer ban remained, however, a symbol of the same political denial and impudence that have ironically helped move the Second Amendment needle in the right direction through litigation time and again. The ordinance at issue flatly stated: “no firearm may be sold, acquired or otherwise transferred within the city, except through inheritance of the firearm.” Chicago attempted to justify the ordinance by, among other things, pointing out that residents could obtain firearms outside the city’s borders. The city also insisted that the ordinance increased the “transaction costs” of the firearms trade, making the acquisition of firearms by criminals more expensive, time-consuming, and dangerous (because they would have to travel through
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high-crime areas infested by rival gangs to buy guns). Chicago additionally claimed gun stores “are dangerous in and of themselves and cannot be safely regulated.”
The court called Chicago’s argument that it could ban firearm sales, as long as guns were available elsewhere, “profoundly mistaken.” “Second Amendment rights,” Judge Chang wrote, “must be guaranteed within a specified geographic unit--be it city or state.” The court also determined that the restriction had to pass a high level of scrutiny (although not quite “strict scrutiny”), because the type of regulation at issue was unknown to the framers of the Second Amendment and because it broadly prohibited even law-abiding Chicagoans from exercising an essential component of the rights protected by the Second Amendment--the acquisition of firearms. Regarding Chicago’s purported justification of increasing transaction costs, the court noted that the evidence showed few criminals actually purchase firearms directly from legitimate dealers. Thus, “residents who seek to legally buy a gun bear more of the share of the added transaction costs in time, effort, and danger than gang members or would-be criminals ….” The city, the court wrote, “cannot justify its ban on legitimate gun sales and transfers with overinclusive means that impact more law-abiding citizens than criminals.” Examining another Chicago claim that the ban helped maintain the city’s “low household gun-ownership rate,” the court opined: “It is … doubtful that minimizing household gun ownership is, after Heller and McDonald, even a valid basis for gun regulation: possession of a gun for self-defense in the home is the core right protected by the Second Amendment, so trying to minimize the exercise of that right cannot be a valid basis for the sales-and-transfer ban.” Demonstrating the importance of proper scrutiny, the case was distinguishable from other recent opinions applying only “intermediate scrutiny” (for example, the recent opinion largely upholding New York’s SAFE Act) by its insistence that the city do more than just produce “expert” opinions claiming the restrictions could inhibit crime. Rather, the court refused to ignore the effects the restrictions also had on law-abiding residents and legitimate activity. According to Judge Chang: “If the City is concerned about reducing criminal access to firearms, either through legitimate retail transactions or via thefts from gun stores, it may enact more appropriately tailored measures.” Because Chicago does not otherwise regulate firearm sales, the court, on its own initiative, stayed the effect of its judgment so the city could decide whether to appeal the case or pursue legislative remedies through more narrowly-tailored regulation. The city was given until January 13 to request an additional stay. Besides paving the way for lawful firearms commerce in Chicago, Judge Chang’s decision also shows the possibilities of a court taking the Second Amendment seriously. We will closely follow this case and continue to keep you informed of significant developments.
RIDE PRIDE:
Hard Rockin’ Dyna Fat Bob
O
n a cool fall evening, we were hanging out around a fire pit at a birthday party for Billie - one of our contributing photographers. When Steve Boyd and
his buddy Devin had pulled out a couple of guitars; which my first thought was “it’s gonna be little kumbayah” around the fire, right? Uh - Wrong! Later we learned that these two guys were accomplished musicians as they were lighting their guitar strings on fire with some hard rock acoustic licks. It felt like we were witnessing something pretty special. Come to find out the guitar playing duo are in a local progressive hard rock-metal band called Eyes Cast Down. They are a new band that I am sure that we will all be hearing more from in the near future. Our birthday girl, Billie recently did a photo shoot with Steve and his bike. Nice ride Steve and we can’t wait to catch Eyes Cast Down in concert soon!
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Cast your eyes on this ride:
2008 Dyna Fat Bob, with all the aftermarket work being done by Folsom HarleyDavidson. 103” motor with 259 E Cams; 15 mm throttle body, 1690 forged pop-up pistons, K&N air cleaner and D&D Bobcat 2 into 1 pipes 14” Westcoast “Sling shot” T-Bars with PM grips mounted to Street Bob triple trees with Fat Bob lowers Front wheel is a 19” 13 spoke off of a 1999 Dyna Glide with Metzler tire Kuryakyn Smoked LED Taillight Rear fender is a 2007 Streetbob Sage 4 upgrades all performed by Folsom Harley-Davidson The whole bike has been powdercoated black by AIC Amerikote except the fairing that is painted. Article by Stan Hill. Thunder Roads Northern California Photos by Billie The Kid Photography
March 2014
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Ride Destinaton north bay
W
ell folks, here we are - it’s almost January already as another year fades from sight in our rear view mirrors. With cheerful hearts we’ll ring in the New Year, but with the recent loss of good friends, singing “Auld Lang Syne” will be a decidedly melancholy affair. So with a salute to the past, a vow to those who went before us, we go forth to our own destinies. Our travels begin at the Russian River Brewing Company in downtown Santa Rosa. We put the sun to our backs and head west to Sebastopol (8mi) where we stopped for breakfast at the Coffee Catz Café. It’s a nice place with a kind of alternative flavor, but they also have blues or bluegrass jams on the weekend - oh, good food too! From there we continued on Hwy 12 (which turns into Bodega Highway) towards the coast. You’ll travel through some forest area before the terrain opens up to rolling hills and large ranches. This leisurely cruise will take you through Bodega and on up to Highway 1. Take a left at the “T” and you’ll soon find yourself in Tomales (26mi). If it’s the weekend, you can stop for brunch at the newly renovated William Tell House - Marin County’s oldest saloon. Don’t have one too many mimosas though, for outside of Tomales is where the fun starts. You’ll find plenty of curves and twists as Highway 1 rolls alongside Tomales Bay almost all the way to Point Reyes Station (43mi).....Nice! The bay has gone away but there are still plenty of turns to come as you work your way to Stinson Beach (59mi). I love going through the eucalyptus forest along the way. As you leave Stinson Beach, it’s time for another terrain change as you cruise alongside the ocean and begin the ascent up to the rocky coastal cliffs. The views are amazing so take advantage of a pull out - or three. Still lots of challenging twists and turns as Highway 1 starts its inland descent. All good things must end and eventually Highway 1 merges with Highway 101, so we turn south on 101 and head to Sausalito. 22
We’re not on 101 for long, but it’s a nice stretch going through the tunnel and popping out to see the bay and the Golden Gate. Not too shabby. Since we were right there, just for kicks and giggles, we crossed over the bridge and at our first convenience, we turned around and re-crossed. We then got off on Alexander Dr and followed the signs to Fort Baker. We were ready for lunch and had a hearty one at Murray Circle inside the Cavallo Point Lodge (75mi).
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Good food with a view of SF and the Golden Gate to boot. Since this was to be an over-nighter, our trip back would take us to Jenner. Back on Highway 101 north we exited at Sir Francis Drake and after some refreshments and Pancho Villa’s in Fairfax (90mi), rolled on in to the Point Reyes again. We got a rookie bartender at Pancho’s who had to look up how to make our drinks on his cell phone. Still didn’t get it right - oh well, we tipped him anyway. From the Station we experienced Highway 1 from the other direction back through Tomales after first making an appearance at Tony’s Seafood (117mi) - we love those BBQ oysters! Our journey for the day ended in Jenner (151mi) at the River’s End Inn. We think it’s a great place to stay. It overlooks the rocky coastline where the Russian River ends its journey to the sea. This entire March 2014
area is filled with the beauty of nature. When dinner calls there is an excellent restaurant right next to the cabins. We were in Cabin 2 and the way that it is laid out, when you open your eyes in the morning, you see the rocky coastline, the river rolling into the ocean and are greeted by the sounds of gulls and (if you’re lucky) seals playing on the rocks. FYI, there are no phones, televisions or internet connections there –so bring some good reading material or be prepared for a nice nap…or ?? Really hated to leave the next day, we headed for Guerneville (164mi) after breakfast at the Café Aquatica (another place right on the river) Highway 116 follows the Russian River all the way into town. We gassed up and decided to check out the Armstrong Redwoods National Park (170mi) just north of the city - it reminded us of the Avenue of the Giants, but much more closed in and intimate. The River Road route back to Highway 101 continues to follow the river for awhile but breaks off as it enters wine country. We call this section “Winery Row.” Must be thousands of acres of grapes through there. Once on 101 we made to Santa Rosa (190mi) and back to the Brewery. Aaahhhh, a cold one sure tastes good!
ThunderRoadsTennessee.com
Article and photos contributed by Chuck & Cindy Loseth
Thunder Roads Northern California 23
L
ots of bikers follow the adage “Eat to Ride and Ride to Eat”, so what do we expect to happen in cold weather? Dealerships and clubs find ways to eat, even if you don’t care to ride. Appleton’s chose to hold their Annual Chili Cook Off on January 25th, warming folks up at the same time. There were some brave souls who rode, but car parking was at a premium. If the chili wasn’t hot enough, four brave souls participated in the Jalapeno eating contest. Jennifer White, again, easily ate her way to the $100 prize, continuing to pop the peppers, even after the end of the contest. Guess she’s truly ”one hot lady”! Randy Calk had the “Most Unusual Taste” with his Gator’s Smokey Chili; “Most Unusual Name” went to Eddie Davidson’s Love-N-Pot By Three; “Best Wild Game” was Bo Kitchen’s Not Mom’s Chili; while the choice for “Overall Best Chili” was Andy Alberd’s duck chili, Was Flying South. Congratulations to all of the winners on their gift cards. We missed seeing Tia, who was at Fall Creek Falls State Park, attending the Tennessee Motorcycle Training Update. But Mary Rose and her crew did a great job. Appleton combined the cook off with a Valentine’s sale and even moved so bikes out the door. Judy even found us some vented helmets, to replace our old ones, which were falling apart. Now I have to find replacements for my helmet stickers. Thanks to Applelton Harley and all the other dealers for finding ways to entertain us all year around! Ride Safe and Have Fun!! Cooper
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DEALERS & SHOPS Appleton’s Harley-Davidson/Buell 2501 Hwy 41A Bypass Clarksville, TN 37043 931-648-1607 Bost Harley Davidson 4600 Delaware Ave Nashville, TN 37209 615-297-7500 or 866-374-2759 Boswell’s of Cookeville 1421 Interstate Dr Cookeville, TN 38501 931-526-3139 Boswell’s of Downtown Nashville 180 2nd Ave. N. Nashville, TN 37201 615-242-7078 Boswell’s of Nashville 401 Fesslers Ln Nashville, TN 37210 615-242-6067 Boswell’s of Rivergate 2200 Gallatin Pike N Madison, TN 37115 615-855-1001 Bumpus H-D / Buell of Murfreesboro 2250 NW Broad St Murfreesboro, TN 37129 615-849-8025 Bumpus H-D / Buell of Memphis 2160 Whitten Rd Memphis, TN 38133 901-372-1121 Bumpus H-D / Buell of Jackson 326 Carriage House Dr Jackson, TN 38305 731-422-5508 Bumpus Harley Davidson 325 S Byhalia Rd Collierville, TN 38017 901-376-1121 H.D. of Columbia 1616 Harley Davidson Blvd Columbia, TN 38401 931-540-0099 H-D of Cool Springs 7128 S. Springs Drive Franklin, TN 37067 866-667-8836 hdcoolsprings.com Highway 12 Motorsports 5110 Ashland City Highway Nashville, TN 37218 (615) 891-7850 www.Hwy12Motorsports.com Across From Lewis Country Store
March 2014
Knoxville Harley-Davidson 605 Lovell Rd Knoxville, TN 37932 865-671-2454 Knoxville Harley-Davidson 5800 Clinton Highway Knoxville, TN 37912 865-689-2454 S&G Custom Cycles 1114 Galloway St Columbia, TN 38401 931-381-7282 www.sgcustomcyles.com Smoky Mountain Harley -Davidson 1820 Lamar Alexander Pkwy Maryville, TN 37801 865-977-1669
BARS & RESTAURANTS Almighty Smokin’ BBQ 3371 U.S. Hwy41-A South Clarksville, TN 37043 Bsteinsultz@Gmail.Com 931-358-3633 Bent Wrench Roadhouse 4724 Ashland City Road Fredonia, TN 37146 931-362-4774 www. thebentwrenchroadhouse.com Double E Bar/Grill 4957 Lebanon Pike Old Hickory, TN 37138 615-885-3400 Hooter’s Clarksville 750 N. Riverside Dr. Clarksville, TN 37040 931-920-8400 Hooters of Harding Place 217 Largo Drive Nashville 615--331-0842 Hooters of Rivergate 654 Wade Circle S. Goodlettsville 615-851-6499 JUJU’s 1078 N Broadway Portland, TN 37148 615-323-5871 The Shed 1820 Lamar Alexander Pkwy Maryville, TN 37801 865-977-1669 Silverado’s Rivergate & Lebanon 709A Rivergate Pkwy. Goodlettsville, TN 37072 615-851-4490 Bike Nite Wednesdays
CAMPGROUNDS Cacklebery Campground “Home of the Big Cock” Owners: Ronnie & Jenny Williams 560 County Road (TR415) New Smyyrma Beach, FL 32168 386-428-5459
GROCERIES Lewis Country Store 5106 Old Hickory Blvd. Nashville, TN (615) 255-7755 Gas-Up, Unique Shop, Fresh Food
MOTORCYCLE INS. C. Bo Brumit Ins. Agcy., 5608 Hwy 11 E. - Suite C3 Piney Flats, TN 37686 Toll Free: (866) 700-4218 Specializing in Biker Ins. Rates
MINISTRIES Covenant Confirmers Ministries, Inc. Pastor Ron Baptiste A “Biker Church” for All Bikers & Their Families. (615) 384-9010 www.covenantconfirmers.org
PAINT & PINSTRIPING 3D Head Custom Paint™ Knoxville, Tn 865-621-9836 Ask for: Kenny or Tony Our Graphics Will Blow Your Mind! Visual Edge Pinstriping by George 1050 Spain Hill Rd Lascassas, TN 37085 www.v-edge.com 615-273-2877
SERVICES Affordable Lights & Audio LED lights & stereo’s for all bikes. By appointment only. We come to you. Call Mechele @ 615-4961493 for pricing. Charlie’s Shoe & Boot Repair 108 W Main St Lebanon, TN 37087 615-449-6065 Collin’s Interiors 3704 Nolensville Pike Nashville, TN 37211 615-977-2188
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BIKERLY D N E I FR TORY DIREC Pig and Pie Catering www.pigandpie.net 615-356-5652 We Specialize In Smokin’ Nashville’s Best Butts! Tennessee Biker Medical Clinic 300 10th Ave E Springfield, TN 37172 www.covenantconfirmers.org
TRAILERS L&S Motorcycle Trailer Rentals Ask for Larry Cell: 615-308-1288 All size trailers for your needs!
LEGAL AIM/NCOM Richard M. Lester 800-531-2424/ 1-800-on-a-bike www.onabike.com The Boyd Firm Motorcycle Attorneys 865.246.1800 www.theboydfirm.org “We’ll Sue The Bastards.”
TRAVEL Mechele MacDaniel AAA Travel 1701 Mallory Ln, Ste 200, Brentwood Tn 37027 mmacdaniel@aaasouth.com 615-376-1601 ext 265 Call for all your travel needs. 27
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by Bob “Bulldog” Ousley Dear Fellow Veterans and Patriots of Tennessee: HAPPY 15th ANNIVERSARY TO THUNDER ROADS MAGAZINE. Brian, Toni, Biskit and the staff around the country, who sell the advertising, write the articles, print the magazine and get it into the hands of thousands of motorcycle enthusiasts. You continue to put out one of the country’s most innovative, interesting and growing magazines on the market. Any magazine that lasts this long is rare but to last this long and continue to grow by leaps and bounds is an American success story. Thank you for allowing me to be part of the Thunder Roads family and thanks to all of you who take the time to read my humble writings right after you look at the calendar girl of the month. I have to admit the motorcycles and hot girls are a hard act for an old man to follow. Last month there were two articles that really got my attention. They were on the subject of firearms carry on motorcycles and how personal firearms ownership is the country’s best deterrent to terrorism. We have all been out there at some point when someone has decided to pick on our motorcycle and swerve at us or try to run us off the road. Maybe you’ve run into that guy who wants to make points by showing how tough he is because he doesn’t like our pipes or looks. You don’t know when it’s coming and sure don’t want to get caught short. I am rebuilding my Harley and have been struggling for somebody to redo the paint the way I want it for a cost I can afford. Have you ever pulled your hair out with something like this? I was about to jump off a bridge until I came across Dave Trachet and his company, BAM (Bad Ass Munitions) Customs in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Dave’s main business is putting custom finishes on firearms. He has a full capability to do Cerakote, which is a ceramic coating
March 2014
and also powder coat. He uses a medium called Hydrographics to apply camouflage and graphics to stocks, ATV’s, deer heads and as luck would have it – motorcycle parts. BAM can add custom designed graphics and images to your personal firearm. If you need a firearm they can order one for you. The possibilities are infinite for making special gifts and commemorative pieces. Dave recently added the image of the world’s continents to a firearm with stars to mark places where a soldier served. He does company logos, remembrance ribbons, American flags and more. The finishes are extremely tough, hard and durable and the look is professional and remarkable. His operation is first class all the way. My bike is getting a coat of Asian Tiger Stripe camouflage with some special graphics over the top. Once the graphics are on, a coat of clear with UV protectant will be sprayed to give it a long lasting and distinctive finish. My bike parts are being sand blasted and painted with a special base coat. The hydrographics are printed films that are placed on the water surface in a big tank and sprayed with an activator. The base coated part gets dipped through the film and into the water. The film wraps and bonds to the part and when it comes out you have a custom paint job. There are a number of preprinted films available and some have skulls, zombies, flames and other really cool stuff that bikers really like. He even has films, finishes and graphics for the ladies. A custom coated firearm makes it really easy to identify and easier to recover if it is stolen. Food for thought! You can get ahold of Dave at www.bamcustoms. com or you can call him at (615) 635-8257. He can even put a special coating on your helmet and sunglasses. Just remember to obey the law and ignore the idiots on the road as long as possible. Avoidance is always the first course of action. Keep the faith. Thank a vet for the freedoms we still enjoy and support politicians who will bring back the ones we’ve lost. Fly the flag of the people and be proud you’re an American. Hug the families of those still missing because their quest for closure has not ended. Live the good life and ride for those can’t. Bulldog
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NEWS BYTES
NCOM BIKER NEWSBYTES Compiled & Edited by Bill Bish, National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM)
FARM BILL DETERS E15 Opponents of E15, such as motorcyclists whose vehicles are not approved to use fuel containing higher levels of ethanol, won a major victory on February 7, 2014 when President Barack Obama signed the Agricultural Act of 2014, with a provision removing subsidies for biofuel blending pumps. The provision, tucked into page 735 of the 949-page farm bill, could make it more difficult for gasoline blended with higher concentrations of ethanol to find its way to rural areas, where demand for the fuel is greatest. Blender pumps mix gasoline and ethanol for sale at gas stations, so restricting the grant money to purchase the pumps necessary to dispense E15 would greatly deter its distribution. That, in turn, could make it more difficult for the United States to implement a program known as the Renewable Fuel Standard, or RFS, which mandates increasing amounts of biofuels like corn-based ethanol be blended into the nation’s fuel supply. The Obama administration previously set a goal of installing 10,000 blender pumps to promote consumption of higher-ethanol gasoline, but currently only 59 stations across 12 states sell E15, compared with 125,000 U.S. gasoline stations. The win for motorcycle and ATV owners, who risk damaging their machines and invalidating warranties by even inadvertently putting E15 in their tanks, follows a November move by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency to reduce for the first time the amount of ethanol required to be blended into U.S. gasoline supplies. Ironically, the EPA proposed the cuts in part due to concerns over the lack of infrastructure, such as blender pumps needed to sell gasoline with greater concentrations of ethanol. MOTORCYCLE SALES INCREASE The Motorcycle Industry Council (MIC) has reported that annual motorcycle sales grew 1.4% in 2013. The 465,783 unit total represents a 6,485 increase from 2012. The dual-purpose and off-road segments enjoyed the greatest percentage annual growth, with scooter sales declining in 2013. On-Highway motorcycles sales tallied 324,691 for the year, a 2% increase from 2012. The On-Highway segment is by far the largest tracked by the MIC, and it includes all street-legal bikes excepting dual-sports and scooters. It recorded a 6,485 unit year-over-year (YOY) increase. The smallest volume segment, Dual, reported the largest YOY percentage increase at 7.8%. The Dual category includes small streetlegal dual-sports as well as popular Adventure bikes. The yearly total for this market was 32,979 for a 2,387 unit increase in 2013. Off-Highway motorcycle sales grew 5.7% for the year. The annual total of 73,371 represents a 3,976 unit boost from last year. The near 4000-unit gain comes despite a slow finish in 2013, recording a YOY decrease of 1,025 units in December. Scooter sales, which are traditionally more volatile than bike sales, struggled to match 2012 totals. The annual tally of 34,742 was 6,363 units short of the 2012 total – a 15.5% decline. 30
ATV sales for 2013 posted a nearly identical tally of 228,305 – a mere 0.5% increase over 2012. The quad market benefited from a strong December to push the annual tally into the black, with a 1,799 unit increase YOY for the month. Notably, the MIC does not track sales for UTV and side-by-side units, which have reportedly eclipsed ATV sales in recent years. STATES RANKED BY MOTORCYCLE OWNERSHIP With 8,410,255 motorcycles registered to 311,800,000 U.S. citizens, according to the most recent DOT and Census data that means that out of every 37 Americans you meet, one of them probably owns a motorcycle. But in some states your odds are better than others, and when you compare statewide motorcycle registrations with population figures, you might be surprised where some states stand in the rankings. For example, Iowa comes in third with 18 people for every motorcycle, more than double the national average. In 2011 the state had 173,929 motorcycles registered, and a population of just over three million. The second highest ratio of bike ownership is in New Hampshire, whose 1.3 million population shares 79,266 motorcycles, equaling 17 people per motorcycle. First on the list is South Dakota with 12 people for each motorcycle, over three times the national average. In 2011 the state had 69,284 motorcycles registered, representing just 0.82% of all motorcycles in America, but its sparse population of 816,598 gives it the highest concentration of motorcycling in the country. Rounding out the Top Ten are; Wisconsin (4th with 18 people per bike); Wyoming (5th/19); North Dakota (6th/21); Vermont (7th/21); Montana (8th/21); Minnesota (9th/22) and Alaska (10th/23). The Ten Lowest ranked states are; South Carolina (40th/43 people per bike); Kentucky (41st/44); Hawaii (42nd/45); California (43rd/47); Utah (44th/47); Maryland (45th/48); Georgia (46th/49); New York (47th/56); Texas (48th/58); Louisiana (49th/67, almost half the U.S. average); and lastly Mississippi (50th/106, nearly a third the norm). It’s interesting to note that due to large populations, some of the states with the largest numbers of motorcycles finished low on the rider density list; California is number one in motorcycles owned with 801,803, representing 9.5% of all motorcycles in the U.S., but with a population of over 37 million it comes in a lackluster 43rd place! Likewise, New York with 345,816 motorcycles, and Texas with 438,551, came in near the bottom of the rankings. It is also worth noting that only one of the Top Ten motorcycling states has a helmet law, while 6 of the 10 least bike-friendly states requires riders to wear them. MISSOURI PUSHES TO CHANGE BAN ON SUNDAY MOTORCYCLE SALES Like many states, it is against the law in Missouri for dealers to sell cars, trucks or motorcycles on Sunday. Due to archaic “Blue Laws” influenced by religion during the Colonial Period, sales are prohibited on the Sabbath, but there is a trend brewing and some states are removing this outdated ban. The latest state to allow Sunday motorcycle sales was Indiana last July, when Hoosiers joined Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York and Maryland in removing their Sunday sales ban. Now Missouri’s Blue Law is being challenged, and lawmakers are
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proposing three bills that would allow for motorcycles to be sold in Platte and Jackson Counties on Sundays. The reason is because some Kansas City metro dealers feel it is not fair that they can’t sell on Sundays when just across the border in the neighboring state of Kansas, dealers can. Other states that currently prohibit the Sunday sales of motorcycles and automobiles are Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Oklahoma, North Dakota and Wisconsin. In Missouri, dealers are not even allowed to discuss a sale on Sunday, or face a $300 fine and possible jail time. NY LAWMAKER SAYS BIKES SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED IN HIS DISTRICT Legislator Thomas F. Barraga (R-11th District) says people should not ride bikes at all in his district because “Suffolk County is a suburban automobile community -- drivers expect to see other drivers on the road, not bicyclists and motorcyclists.” The anti-motorcycle/bicycle lawmaker from West Islip, New York made those remarks in response to a high school senior who wrote to him as a part of a government class assignment. On January 29, the 17-year old, Matthew Cutrone, wrote to Barraga requesting “some sort of bike lane or maybe even warning signs in certain areas of the county” after his mother was hit by the driver of a van that illegally turned left in front of her. Stating that he believes that “no one who lives in our hamlet or for that matter Suffolk County should ever ride a bicycle or motorcycle,” Barraga’s callous response lit up social media and prompted a ton of angry responses, though the legislator said he’s standing by his remarks. WASHINGTON STATE RIDERS LOBBY TO TURN LEFT ON RED Motorcyclists in Washington could turn left at an intersection if the traffic light doesn’t give them the green arrow after a complete cycle under a bill that received strong support from the Senate in Olympia. SB 5141 would change state traffic laws to account for a problem some motorcyclists have at intersections controlled by sensors that March 2014
fail to recognize them. They don’t register on the sensor, and the leftturn arrow never turns green, said Senator Jim Hargrove, a Hoquiam Democrat who rides a motorcycle and said he’s experienced the problem first-hand. Under the proposed legislation, a motorcyclist would have to wait through a complete cycle of lights changing for all directions before making a left-turn when clear. The bill passed on a 46-2 vote. The same bill passed the Senate last session but didn’t receive a final vote in the House. ABATE OF INDIANA SEEKS TO ALLOW OFF-ROAD VEHICLES ON COUNTY ROADWAYS Indiana state law bans driving off-road vehicles on public streets, but ABATE of Indiana, a motorcycle advocacy group, is asking Tippecanoe County commissioners to exercise a clause that allows county officials to allow all-terrain vehicles, gators and various other off-road machines, including snowmobiles, to use county roads in unincorporated areas. “We’re just requesting that they at least evaluate this, look at what other communities have done with this -- what other counties have done with this” said Jay Jackson, executive director of American Bikers Aimed Toward Education. “We’re not aware of any significant ramifications as a result, so we don’t see a downside to it.” Jackson told commissioners that 45 Indiana counties allow offroad vehicles on public roads. The vehicles still must comply with state laws governing off-road vehicles. State law requires the rider or driver be 16 years old and licensed, and also requires that the vehicle be registered, much like a boat. WEIRD NEWS: APB FOR MR. HARLEY DAVIDSON Police in Guapa, Brazil, investigating a string of carjackings believed they found a key piece of evidence that could blow the case wide open: a Harley-Davidson cap belonging to a suspect: “He left a grey T-shirt which he had used to cover his face, and also a baseball cap with a skull embroidered on it, along with the name Harley, and the citizen’s surname, Davidson, who is probably the miscreant we’re looking for,” a police officer told a local news station.
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Guinness World Record Mini Bike Attempt Date: 03/01/2014 - 03/04/2014 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Clarksville, Tennessee Contact email: wdanerodgers@yahoo.com Contact phone: (931) 257-3951 The Guinness World Record Mini Bike Attempt will start in Clarksville, Tennessee from March 1st, 2014 to March 4th, 2014. Guinness World Record Attempt to break the record of the longest trip ever taken on a mini-bike. From Clarksville, TN to Natchez, MS. Starting on March 1st. Ride along with me as I raise money for CMA s Run for the Son. Guinness World Record Mini Bike Attempt 38TH ANNUAL HUNTERS CUSTOM AUTO SHOW Date: 03/08/2014 - 03/09/2014 Time: 9:00 AM - 7:00 PM Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Nashville TN Nashvilles only REAL custom car show! Sponsored by Rough Country. 2014 BLUE & GRAY BROTHERHOOD MEET & GREET & SWAP MEET Date: 03/22/2014 - 03/22/2014 Time: 11:00 AM Location: 27 Berryhill Ln Fayetteville TN 37334 Contact email: blueandgrayclub@hotmail.com Contact phone: 931-433-8733 Vendors set up at 930am. Everyone welcome! CHAIN OF HOPE RIDE Date: 03/29/2014 - 03/29/2014 Time: 9:00 AM Location: KMart Parking Lot Long Hollow PK Goodlettsville TN 37070 Contact phone: 615-767-9229 Biker’s Linking the Chain! Ride for missing Jennifer & Adrianna Wix, missing since March 2004. Registration starts at 10am. KSU 12 noon. Rain date April 5, 2014. After the ride, there will be auctions, raffles, food, and lots of fun. Performances by Gentry, Genevea, & Harley with his sidkick Crystal Birdwell. MULE DAY 2014 Date: 04/05/2014 - 04/05/2014 Time: 11:00 AM Location: 1824 South Main St Columbia TN 38401 Contact email: Zero_Obliquity@bellsouth.net Contact phone: 931 334-3331 11:00 am till last man standing. Come celebrate Mule Day 2014 with the EBGB M/C. We will have breakfast in the morning followed by a poker run. After the run we will have food, live music, and lots of adult activities. There is limited camping, so get setup early.
SPRING THAW BIKE SHOW Date: 04/05/2014 - 04/05/2014 Time: 10:00 AM - 5:00 PM Location: Mid-TN Expo Center 1209 Park Ave Murfreesboro TN 37129 Contact email: scooter@bothbarrelspromotions.com Contact phone: 615-364-1828 Hosted by Both Barrels Promotions. Bike Show & Huge Swap Meet. New & Used Bike Parts, Accessories, Bikes for Sale, Biker Clothing, & Much More! $25 Show Entry. $10 Admission. $1000 Best of Show. $200 Best Home Built Bike. $200 Best Ratrod Car or Truck. 4TH ANNUAL CANEY/FORK CMT/ABATE BIKE, CAR SHOW & SWAP MEET Date: 04/12/2014 - 04/12/2014 Time: 9:00 PM - 6:30 PM Location: Tenn National Guard Armory 100 Transport Drive Gordonsville TN 38563 Contact email: rosedaiquari@yahoo.com Contact phone: 615-281-7279 Vendors, Music, Food, & much more! Bike show starts at 1pm and judging starts at 2pm. $10 per class and ride in only. Trophies for Best in Show and Best in Class. Admission is $5. Kids under 12 free. This is a great family fun day and the bike show is awesome. Vendors please contact Carol @ 615-281-7279. We will have a great band and special guest! TWIST A GRIP MOTORCYCLE SWAP MEET & CRUISE IN Date: 04/12/2014 - 04/12/2014 Time: 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM Location: Bikers Service Center 972 North Broad St. Lexington TN 38351 Contact email: Southern.motors@hotmail.com Contact phone: 731-249-9200 The Spring 2014 Twist A Grip Motorcycle Swap Meet and Cruise In !! The Mid Souths Largest Motorcycle Only Swap Meet. Over 1500 bikes at our 2013 Spring & Fall Events. Over 5 Acres of Vendor Space. Easy in & out Access for Bikes & Vendors. Buy, Sell, Swap or Trade like the good ole days. All Bike/Biker related Vendors welcome. Tons of Food, Drinks, Live Bands, Event T Shirts & giveaways, Huge Bike Corral for bikes for sale by owners, Blessing of The Bikes and more. All proceeds go to local charities. GWRRA TENNESSEE DISTRICT CONVENTION SPRING FLING Date: 04/24/2014 - 04/26/2014 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Camp Jordan Arena 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy East Ridge TN 37412 Contact email: tngwrra2014sf@gmail.com Wing Trek “Going where no Wing has gone before”. Best Western Plus Arbour Inn & Suites (Host Hotel)
Be sure to check all the ads in the magazine for any additional events.
*Some listings intel may not be derived from: CycleFish.com
YOUR THUNDER ROADS AD COULD GO HERE FOR ONLY $50 A MONTH! 32
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BOOGIE HOLLAR (formerly known as Hawg Holler Bike Fest) Date: 05/01/2014 - 05/04/2013 Time: 9:00 AM Location: 164 Clay Farm Lane Atwood TN 38220 Contact email: hclark1@twlakes.net Contact phone: (931) 498-2250 Come join the fun at this 126 acre biker park with paved roads, hot showers, and vast camping areas. Enjoy a weekend full of live music, great food, vendors, field events, stage contests, and more. Don’t miss out on the Saturday morning poker run! 21 AND UP ONLY - NO EXCEPTIONS. This event is now under new management by the same folks who bring you the June Bug Boogie Look more more details soon!!!
event to make a real difference to the kids. Online registration is open until noon Eastern on the Friday before the ride. Onsite registration opens at 8 a.m. and closes at 9:30 a.m. The escorted ride starts at 10 a.m. sharp, rain or shine! The ride will loop back to the start point. The more money you raise, the more incentive choices you have. Get a collectible T-shirt for as little as $100 per person, plus a Ride for Kids hat at the $300 level. Depending on how much more you collect, you’ll qualify for prizes at different levels. At the event, we draw for a new Honda motorcycle and other great prizes (must be present to win). All participants receive free beverages, a light breakfast and lunch. You’ll also get to meet your local Stars!
TENN BIKER MEDICAL CLINIC POKER RUN Date: 05/03/2014 - 05/03/2014 Time: 11:00 AM - 6:00 PM Location: SideTrack Bar & Grill 1310 Sparta Pike Lebanon TN 37090 Contact email: rosedaiquari@yahoo.com Contact phone: 615-281-7279 Poker run to benefit Tennessee Biker Medical Clinic. There are also 3 other clinics in the U.S.A. Arizona, Ohio, and Kentucky. $10 per hand and there will be prizes for best and worst hand. Worst hand prizes value at more than $50. Best hands at $100 or more. Definitely a great cause. CRUZIN 4 THE MUSIC-CAR, TRUCK & BIKE SHOW Date: 05/03/2014 - 05/03/2014 Time: 8:00 AM - 4:00 PM Location: Spring Hill High School 1 Raider Lane Columbia TN 38401 Contact email: tstaggs@bellsouth.net Contact phone: 931-446-7879 Cruzin for the Music is Presented by the Spring Hill Marching Band. All proceeds will go to the band. Car & Bike Show and Swap Meet. Over $3000 in Awards and Prizes. There will also be Music, Food, Vendors, Crafts and More. Pre-registration is very helpful as this will let us know how many driver and rider packets are needed.
TELLICO BIKER RALLY SPRING 2014 Date: 05/22/2014 - 05/25/2014 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Tellico Plains Contact email: fun@tellicobikerrally.com Contact phone: 423-337-8390 Bike Show & Burnout Competitions! Biker Games - Free Prizes - Showers Live Bands Friday & Saturday Nights. Free Camping & Firwood at Bike Camping Area ONLY! RV & Trailer Camping Area Free With Tickets. No ATV’s - No One Under 21 Allowed!
3RD ANNUAL HILLBILLY 66 KAR & BIKE CRUISE IN Date: 05/10/2014 - 05/10/2014 Time: 2:00 PM - 8:00 PM Location: Knoxville H-D 5800 Clinton Hwy Knoxville TN 37912 Contact phone: 865-223-9679 2-8pm. Registration 2-6pm. Music starts at 5pm. Early registration $10. $20 day of show. Open to all 1989 and earlier cars and trucks. Open to all bikes and trikes. Pinup girl contest $300 1st $200 2nd $100 3rd. SMITH/WILSON CMT/ABATE SWAP MEET & BIKE SHOW Date: 05/17/2014 - 05/17/2014 Time: 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM Location: Cumberland Ave/HWY 231 Lebanon TN 37087 Contact phone: 615-310-3436 Kim Lebanon public square in the parking lot of the old courthouse. Just a short ride from Nashville. Parts, new & used, take-offs, scratch and dent, leather, jewelry, t-shirts and much more. Gate entrance is $5, and 12 & under free. Bike Show $5 entry fee. Bike show tropies for the following classes: Antique, Sportster, Shovel Head, Foreign, EVO, Twin Cam, Dresser, Custom and Best of Show. Vendor charge is $20 with 2 free admissions. For event or vendor info please contact Kim Marlin. MIDDLE TENN RIDE FOR KIDS Date: 05/18/2014 - 05/18/2014 Time: 8:00 AM Location: Jim Warren Park 705 Boyd Mill Ave. Franklin TN 37064 Contact email: rideforkids@rideforkids.org Contact phone: 800-253-6530 Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation Ride for Kids. These kids are our Stars, and you can help them by participating in a Ride for Kids event as a motorcyclist, fundraiser or volunteer. Donations benefit the Pediatric Brian Tumor Foundation’s medical research and family support programs. Riders on all makes and models are welcome to attend. The suggested minimum donation to ride is $40 per motorcycle. We encourage you to fundraise before the March 2014
HOGFEST BIKE RALLY Date: 05/22/2014 - 05/26/2014 Time: 12:00 PM Location: I-24 Exit 127 516 Taylor Lane Pelham TN 37366 Contact email: chefweatherly@hotmail.com Contact phone: 931-224-2041 Memorial Day Weekend Rally! $30 for a wristband for all weekend! Seventy Acres of flat clean pasture land! No mud or dust! Free bike games, Stage contests, Music and bands starting on Thursday May 22nd, 2014! Portapotties on site! Free showers, shaded tent camping areas, Rv’s welcome but no hookups available. Vendors of all types on site. Gates will open at noon on Thursday May 22nd, 2014. Golf carts are allowed but no fourwheelers at all! Games include our famous Sow Sucking contest, Pork whistler and so much more! Coolers are allowed at the stage! Stores are located 2 miles from the rally! For more information call Billy Sam 931-224-2041. Vendor info contact Weatherly at chefweatherly@hotmail.com. on facebook: hogfest bike rally Smoky Mountain Thunder Memorial Ride XIV Date: May 25th, 2014 Location: Sevier County Courthouse, Sevierville, TN. Time: Opening Ceremony 10:00 A.M. Kick Stands Up: 11:00 A.M. Closing: Ceremony 12:30 P.M. The mission of this event is to reach as many people as we can to instill and renew the true meaning of Memorial Day. The purpose of this event is to pay tribute to the men and women who lost their lives while in service to our country. There will be a special visit from the American Eagle Foundation. The ride is 65 miles and police escorted. There will be patriotic music, guest speaker, wreath placements, Taps with a 21 Gun Salute at the closing ceremony. This is a group ride. There is no registration or a fee to participate in this event. For more information: Ron Giddis: Coordinator 865-453-6532 865-654-1851 www.smokymountainthunder.net TENNESSEE STATE HOG RALLY 2014 Date: 05/27/2014 - 05/31/2014 Time: 9:00 AM Location: Cookeville TN Contact phone: 615-255-3442 The 2014 Tennessee State H.O.G. Rally is in Cookeville, TN There will be Music, Vendors, Activities, Multiple choices in Lodging, Restaurants and so much more! For more details on a list of Scheduled Activities, Registration details, Directions, Lodging Information, Common FAQ’s and more, Please visit the website.
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3-D HEAD CUSTOM PAINT® KNOXVILLE, TN 865-621-9836 Ask for KENNY or TONY
A fart is a pleasant thing... t gives the belly ease... It warms the bed in winter...And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet... A fart can be loud... Some leave a powerful... Poisonous cloud A fart can be short... Or a fart can be long... Some farts have been known... To sound like a song..... A fart can create...A most curious medley... A fart can be harmless...Or silent...and deadly. A fart might not smell... While others are vile... A fart may pass quickly... Or linger a while... A fart can occur...In a number of places... And leave everyone there... With strange looks on their faces.From wide-open prairie...To a small elevator...A fart will find all of us Sooner or later.But farts are all bad... Is simply not true...We must never forget... Sweet old farts like you! When a friend’s son took the entrance exam for medical school, he was perplexed by this question:”Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out the part of the human body that is most useful when erect.” Those who spelled SPINE became doctors.... The rest are in government. I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?” “No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied. “Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked. “No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked. “Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!” “Well, I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.” The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?” He asked. I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.” 34
One day a man decided to retire, go on a great cruise, and decide what entrepreneurship he would venture into after all the corporate bullshit of 30 years. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he was lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rowed up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?” She replies, “I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank.” “Amazing,” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.” “Oh, this thing?” explains the woman. “ I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.” “But, where did you get the tools?” “Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. “ On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware.”The guy is stunned. “Let’s row over to my place,” she says “and I’ll give you a tour.” So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and a tree house. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Please sit down.” “Would you like a drink?” “No! No thank you,” the man blurts out, still dazed. “I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.” “Oh, it’s not coconut juice,” winks the woman. “I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?” Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There’s a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.”No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. “This woman is amazing,” he muses. “What’s next?” When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.“Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a really good ride? She stares into his eyes.He can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You mean...” he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, Oh, dear sweet woman, you found a way to build a Harley? “.
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