One of the church women was cooking a pot of her famous So it says right on the bottle of A-1, est 1862 beans and cornbread for the church potluck. And it’s amazing that someone, smack dab in the middle of Her son, Little Joey, came running through the house, BB the civil war, declared, “Ya’ know what this Country needs is gun in one hand and a handful of BB’s in the other. a delicious steak sauce!” He tripped and the BB’s naturally went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he Humans arefor what scientists call deuterostomes GearHead returns passenger in a taxi heading Tampa Airport should risk punishment, so he said A nothing. (don’t try saying this drunk) and it means that when they his bike broke do when he leaned over to ask the driver a question The church potluck went very well and as usual, the beans of town, and then and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his develop in the momma’s womb the anus forms before any and cornbread were one of the first dishes to go. It’s after midnigh attention. The next day the church secretary, Mary, called Little Joey’s other opening. While his way The were driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly momma and asked, “Jane, your beans delicious as Which basically means at one point you, me, all of on us were would be a witne hitthis a bus, the curb and stopped just usual, but what did you put in them time?”drove up over nothing but an azzhole. having an affair, a Jane replied, “Nothing new Mary, inches why, do you ask?” from a large plate-glass window. Unfortunately, some people never develop beyond “Well”, said Mary, “this morning I For bent a over to feed the cat, everything was silent in the cab. act. few moments this stage. and shot the canary off his perch!” Then, the shaking driver said, “Are you o.k.? I’m so For $100 bucks, t
sorry, but you scared the living daylights out of me.”
Quietly arriving h
the past 25 years.”
‘Don’t do it! I lied
Later that early morning; around 1:00 a.m., LightThunderRoadsTennessee.com ning parked his pickup directly in front of Mildred’s house, walked home, and left it there all night long
“Handicap” yells o APRIL 2022 all want to finish Putter replies bac
Saw a guy walking his dog in the park and the dog had on Bubba was downstairs and his wife yelled down,shaken passenger toe into the bedro The badly apologized to the this neon green vest and on the vest it said “Bubba, do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, GearHead switche driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on really bold, black letters ..... like someone’s got a voodo doll ofthe you shoulder and is stabbing the startle back and there is would someone so badly.” chit outa’ it?” Notno, Friendly The driver replied, “No, I’m the one who should just as he suspec Bubba yelled back, “No, can’t sayapologize, I ever have”. it’s entirely Do TouchToday is my very GearHead puts hi myNot fault. Wife yelled back down, “How bout’ now?” I was like, driving dang, I need one of those me. wife shouts, first day driving a cab.and I’ve been a hearse for forThe
This ole biker named Gus dies and his wife gets him creWas getting a tat and looked over at the guymoney next chair over my A from mated, at his request. Mildred, the small town gossip and self-appointed HE paid for the A and his tat read: Roses are dead, Love is She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the kitchmonitor of church morals, was always one to stick HE paid for our n fake, Weddings are basically funerals with cake. en table and starts talking to them, so sweet and gentle. her nose into other people’s business. Most memHE paid for your Thought, Wow! that’s some deep, dark wisdom there “You know that new fur coat you promised me? bers of the congregation did not approve of her HE paid for our h I bought it with the insurance money.” intrusions, but she was feared due to her lethal paid “And you know the new care you promised me?” Ya’ ever have one of those days where youHE wish that for Jackyour forked maintained their siand your “I bought it with the insurance money too.”tongue, so everyone Daniels came out of your rain-forest showerbuddies head? lence. HE paid for the cu Then she got real close and with her best sexy, husky voice SheI took that fatal step too far one day, when she HE paid for our F whispered, “You know that b-job that promised you?” the bedroom to find his wife dead in the accused “Lightning”, aBubba biker,walked and in new member of “Well darlin’, here it comes.... And, HE even pay bedalcoholic the other day. Looking at herhis lifeless body there, he the Church, of being an after she saw Private schooling. decided to haveof one lastsmall go round. oldtoday. Chevy in front the town’s Shaking his head There was a safety meeting at work Theypickup asked parked Rightlate in theinto middle openedShe her eyes anders shouted “Boo!” He lo Bubba, “What steps would you take in the event a fire?” and only bar all of morning theshenight. his gun. Bubba shook his head in amazement to himself, Apparently “fooking big ones” wasemphatically the wrong answer. told Lightning in front of the entire and thought cabby and says, “Wow! I am really married to one sick fook”‘What the hell wo congregation that “Everyone seeing that pickup Spring has Sprung and it’s time tothere put your azz on know some what he was doing”. Fact was, would The cabby never leather and feel that wind in your Lightning face! had volunteered to help the bar Guys, back me upGus, on this one.... his ass with that This is our time, you Beautiful Bikers! owner, repair a leaky ceiling in the But30Gus Females will arguekitchen. with you for minutes,cold.’ then be like, “I was not a member of aint theeven congregation so nothing gonna’ argue with you, fool!” Bubba saw a flying saucer today. was brought to light. “Putter” and all h It appeared right after the flying cup that his wife threw at am I right or what? Lightning, a man of few words but plenty of action, the green while h Tell ya’ one thing for sure..... If you can understand women his head. stared at her for a solid minute, then just got up win the game tha then you can knit barbed wire! When your life is falling apart, always remember and left the church. He said nothing. straight in. that tacos fall apart and they are still amazing! 30
