Tidbits of Northern Johnson County Iowa

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There are certain records that you may be familiar with. The fastest 100-meter dash, the top speed for a land vehicle and the first breaking of the sound barrier are just three common examples.

We may not all know who holds these records, but at least we know these records are out there.

Then, of course, there are other records that sit happily outside of the norm. Not only will almost no one know the names of these “famous” record holders, very few people will even be aware that these records exist. Here are a few examples of unusual bests from around the globe.

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• Did you know that Chris Elliott and Tyson Turk of Bedford, Texas, hold the world record for the most body piercings in one session?

Three thousand, one hundred piercings were performed in just over six hours, topping the previous best of 1,015 by a couple in the United Kingdom. (It seems some people aren’t happy with a nice pair of earrings anymore.)

• The record for “Most People Inside of a Bubble” is held by Fan and Deni Yang. The two wowed an audience with their outlandish talent for creating bubbles. As part of this year’s BubbleFest in Santa Ana, California, at the city’s Discovery Science Center, they created a soap bubble so large that they were able to fit 118 people inside it, setting the current world record. The BubbleFest, now in its 16th year, celebrates the science and math principles of bubbles.

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March 14th 2012

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OFF THE RECORD (continued) • For Takuo Toda, chairman of the Japan Origami Airplane Association, breaking the “Longest Paper Airplane Flight” record with his time of 27.9 seconds was the culmination of an 11-year scientific effort. In April of 2009, Toda finally reached his goal when he turned a sheet of light sugarcane into a 10-cm craft that stayed aloft for almost 30 seconds. Toda’s model bore a striking resemblance to a NASA space shuttle that he recalled watching three decades before, yet Toda claims that his design actually preceded NASA’s by three or four years. In 1980, he began lobbying for a proposal to launch paper darts from the International Space Station, and in 2008, the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency announced a three-year, 90 million yen (over 1.1 million U.S. dollars) study of that very thing.

Though it may sound frivolous on its surface, the research could yield valuable information on how future spacecraft may be lighter and more aerodynamic. The next time your co-worker teases you for making paper airplanes, tell him you’re doing it for science!

• American Ashrita Furman presently holds 113 places of distinction within the “Guinness Book of World Records.” Nicknamed “Mr. Versatility,” Furman has set more than 340 records since 1979 in 35 countries on each of the world’s continents. In 2010, he sprinted his way into history with the aid of something generally reserved for the water — a pair of black and blue swim fins. He ran a mile (in fins) in 7 minutes, 56 seconds. In addition to breaking the “eight minute land swim fin mile” (a phrase that we are hoping to popularize), Furman’s accomplishment made him the current record holder for holding current records (the aforementioned 113).

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• Breaking the “World’s Fastest Furniture” record, a lounge chair created by a design group from the United Kingdom was clocked at 87 miles per hour, well over the speed limit on nearly every highway in the world. Couch potatoes with a need for speed need look no further than the “Casual Lofa” (as its creators Cummfy Banana have deemed it), which has an actual vehicle license with the British Ministry of Transportation. In addition to its plush, leopardpatterned upholstery, the “Lofa” features the same unleaded A-series engine found in the Cooper Mini, along with a steering wheel that doubles as a pizza pan, a hand-operated brake and a throttle that can be operated with the feet up or down. In addition to its performancedriving chair, the company has also built a bed on wheels called the “Street Sleeper” that can go 69 miles per hour and a zooming tub (the “Bog Standard”) that can go 71. They even offer a motorized office suite for the more businessminded racing aficionado.

• For even the least fit or scientifically inclined among us, there is one record potentially within our reach, “Most T-Shirts Worn At Once.” On May 22, 2010, Croatia’s Krunoslav Budiseli bested a former Swedish record holder by wearing 245 T-shirts at the same time. The feat took a little less than two hours to complete and ended with the Croatian wearing about 150 pounds (68 kg) worth of T-shirts. Budiseli said things started to become difficult around the 120th shirt, yet he somehow summoned the strength and force of will to don 125 more. Will May 22 live on forever in the annals of Croatian T-shirt achievement? Only time will tell.

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See our calendar of events along with our daily food specials online. www.WildWoodSaloon.com A Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Johnson County Sheriffs Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense...........

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign ."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop.

License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."

Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the Deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the Lawyer and says: "DO YOU WANT ME TO 'STOP' OR JUST 'SLOW DOWN'?""

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OFF THE RECORD (continued) • In the annals of “records least likely to exist,” the “Most Nights Spent In A Room Full of Scorpions” record would’ve been pretty close to the top, yet Kanchana Ketkaew of Thailand actually managed it. Ketkaew spent 33 days in the company of 5,320 live scorpions. The room, which was made of glass, was not much larger than a normal office room — about 10 feet wide by 12 feet long. Despite sharing cramped quarters with a swarm of unfriendly crawling roommates, Ketkaew emerged relatively unscathed, getting stung only about 13 times.

• After a day of exciting-yet-exhausting chair racing, you are bound to want a snack. How about a bite of the current record holder for “World’s Biggest Cookie,” which weighed in at 40,000 pounds? In 2003, the owners and employees of the Immaculate Baking Company converged to bake a cookie designed to satisfy even the largest of appetites. About a 100 feet in diameter, the cookie was so big that it had to be photographed from 100 feet above just to get it all on camera!

FAMOUS LANDMARKS OF THE WORLD:

UNIVERSAL THEME PARK

Nestled in the San Fernando Valley, just over the hill from Hollywood, is one of Los Angeles’ great attractions, The Universal Theme Park. Though Disneyland has the more heralded history and gets a majority of the press, Universal has quietly carved out a place of magic and wonder for locals and visiting tourists since 1964. In fact, it is estimated that over 100 million men, women and children have since walked the Universal Grounds, making it one of the top tourist attractions in U.S. history.

• The Universal back lot tour officially opened to the public in 1964, although informal tours were available to the public before then. The first tours were walking tours, allowing visitors to get a look at productions filming on the studio lot. In addition to getting a glimpse of active sets, guests were given a look behind the scenes in the dressing rooms of their favorite Universal stars. These early tours lasted about 90 minutes.

• In the next decade, walking tours were replaced with more state-of-the-art transportation. A pinkand-white tram nicknamed the “GlamTram” became the preferred mode of transport.

Onboard, a knowledgeable guide tells the studio’s rich history, shares bits of trivia and answers questions for curious visitors. Some lucky guests have even enjoyed face-to-face visits with the performers themselves, as on occasion stars have made themselves personally available to meet, sign autographs and answer questions. At the tour’s end, guests are given the opportunity to eat in the studio commissary, where star watching is just as important as whetting hardy appetites.

• In 1977, Universal began adding new attractions as both part of and separate from the back lot tour. These attractions included the Screen Test Comedy Theater, the Animal Actors stage, the Prop Plaza and the Western Stunt Show. Video screens were added to the tram, allowing visitors to watch productions on the lot being filmed live.

• The influence of Disneyland’s theme-ridecentric design emerged in the 1970s as the park added attractions inspired by some of the most successful movies filmed there, like “The Ten Commandments,” “Jaws” and “King Kong.”

In the intervening three decades, a host of new attractions have been added. These include the Revenge of the Mummy thrill coaster, the Special Effects Stage, Jurassic Park – The Ride, Shrek 4-D, The Simpsons Animated Virtual Coaster and King Kong 360 3-D, a ride designed by film director Peter Jackson (“King Kong,” “The Lord of The Rings” trilogy) that the Los Angeles Times described as “the kind of aweinspiring theme park attraction you can’t find anywhere else.”

• Today, guests can roam 415 acres of Universal Property including the lot, theme park and Universal City, a teaming outdoor plaza that includes restaurants, shops and one of California’s largest and most modern movie theaters. Though the studio lot tour now takes less than hour, visitors are advised to arrive early. Almost 100 years of cinematic history have been celebrated there, more than enough to captivate even the most casual movie buff for hours on end.

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Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."

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STRANGE BUT TRUE

by Samantha Weaver

● It was English philosopher Francis Bacon who made the following sage observation: “The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.” ● I’m sure you’ve seen photos of those picturesque covered bridges. It seems that they would have provided a welcome haven for people driving buggies caught out in the rain. You may be surprised to learn, though, that the bridges weren’t designed with a roof for the comfort of travelers. Being made of wood in an era before protective sealants, the bridges themselves needed to be protected from the elements. ● Most frogs lay their eggs in the water; that way, when the tadpoles hatch they are already in their element. The red-eyed tree frog, however, protects its eggs from aquatic predators by attaching its eggs to the underside of leaves that hang out over a body of water.

Once the eggs hatch, the tadpoles fall into the water. ● The next time you travel to the United Kingdom, if you visit the university towns of Cambridge or Oxford, you should keep off the grass. Professors are the only ones allowed to walk on most of the green swards in those towns. ● In ancient Rome, it was widely believed that holding in gas could cause a person to catch a disease or become poisoned. This was such a concern to public health that Emperor Claudius went so far as to pass a law making it legal to fart at banquets. ● Have you ever known someone who keeps making the same error over and over again despite being corrected?

The next time you run into this person, you’ll know what to call him or her: a mumpsimus. *** Thought for Today: “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”

-- Albert Einstein (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

March 14th 2012

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Call Kevin, 270-2961 “NATIONAL” WORDS (continued):

• French: Chefs know what it means to “french” a food item. It’s a verb that means to cut into thin strips, like, well, french fries.

(And yes, that’s how the finger-friendly potato dish took its name.) Green beans are another item commonly prepared in this manner.

• Maltese: These tiny spaniels are easy to identify thanks to their long, silky coats. The American Kennel Club groups them with other “Toy Dogs” like Pugs and Yorkshire Terriers.

Feline aficionados also use the term Maltese to describe cats that have a similarly silky, grayblue coat.

• Colombian: This term means different things to different people, depending on how you get your “jones.” Narcotics dealers may refer to their products as Colombian, although the actual source is often unknown. Luckily, the majority of us prefer a bit of legal Colombian, as in the coffee grown in the South American nation. The prevalence of coffee shops throughout America is proof enough of usthis just week’s can’t get along Arethat youmany enjoying issue of in the morning without a hot cup of Colombian.

Tidbits? If so, please give a big

• Chinese: The generic term “chinese” now represents types of food that are very different from the meals that are (or ever were) served in China. That said, the same argument could be made about what we consider “American” food. Hamburgers? Ice cream? the the location you received Hot people dogs? at Pizza?

Our national favoritesit for allowing us to deliver seem to have originated everywhere exceptit. in the United States!

Information in the Tidbits® Paper is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed.

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TRILOGY III

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Although the New Year has passed, many of us are perhaps still a little behind on taking up those New Year’s resolutions we made a few short months ago. Whether it is to lose weight, cut out an unhealthy vice or commit to more time with the family, our resolutions are a reminder that our growth as human beings necessitates increased levels of self-discipline. Yet what if the issue isn’t a lack of discipline? Perhaps you’re a model of steely determination but have run out of creative ways to push yourself to newer and greater heights in 2012. The self-help section of your local bookstore is usually a fair start, but it rarely offers any ideas you haven’t already thought of.

To resolve this problem, here are three “different” (but real) advice books to use as possible starting points in the quest for a better you: • Have you ever thought of yourself as someone with unearthly powers of clairvoyance? Have you ever been described as someone who lifts the spirits of everyone around you? If so, maybe you should grab a copy of “The Lightworker’s Way: Awakening Your Spiritual Power to Know and Heal” by Dr. Doreen Virtue. This tome could be just what you need to enhance your inner telekinetic superpowers. As the book’s Amazon description helpfully outlines, you are a “lightworker” if you “feel called to heal others” and “want to resolve the world’s social and environmental problems” through “spiritual methods.”

• Or perhaps “Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself”

by Dale Power is a better fit. This book’s online description hints at the morbidity of the new skill you’ll be learning. “Here’s the help you need for one of life’s most critical undertakings — making your own coffin,” it proudly declares, leaving one to muse whether the author understood his own darkly comic wordplay. Within the book’s chapters, you’ll find a wealth of detailed instructions and color photos to aid you in completing “your life’s finest accomplishment.”

“Finest accomplishment” is debatable, but it is possible that it could be your final one.

• You may be saying to yourself, “Yes, these previous books sound fascinating, but how do I read them?” Well, then you might need “How to Read a Book” by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren. If the issue is one of actual literacy, this book won’t help you. No, instead this 1940 volume teaches you “different reading techniques for reading practical books, imaginative literature, plays, poetry, history, science and mathematics, philosophy and social science.” What the Amazon description fails to mention is that one of its authors is an authority on another subject, too: namely, cheating at televised game shows. It’s the same Charles Van Doren who was an admitted accomplice in the rigging of outcomes on the 1959 NBC show “Twenty One.”

Contact: Mary Jo Meggers 319-848-7643

Hawkeye Publishing LLC considers it’s advertisers reliable and verifies as much data as possible.

Consequently, readers using this information do so at their own risk. It is suggested that the investors contact the appropriate consumer agency before sending payment. Although persons and companies mentioned herein are ® believed to be reputable, neither Tidbits of Linn county publication, Hawkeye Publishing L.L.C., The Nations Online Listings nor any of it’s employees accept any responsibility whatsoever for their actions. For more information about credit scams and advanced fee loans write: FTS Washington, DC 20580

WORK BETTER

WITH COLOR

March 14th 2012

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C.

Page 8

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