Tidbits of Linn County, Iowa by Russ Swart

OVER MILLION

SEE OUR Home Section Page 10-11

aders Weekly Nationwide! Over 35,000

of Linn County

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March 13th 2012

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C.

www.tidbitpapers.com

Vol. 7 Issue #11

For Distribution E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936

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American FamilyLooking rates are for a waythan to save? more competitive You need to insure both you might think. your auto and your home,

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OFF THE RECORD

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by Blue Sullivan

There are certain records that you may be familiar with. The fastest 100-meter dash, the top speed for a land vehicle and the first breaking of the sound barrier are just three common examples. We may not all know who holds these records, but at least we know these records are out there. Then, of course, there are other records that sit happily outside of the norm. Not only will almost no one know the names of these “famous” record holders, very few people will even be aware that these records exist. Here are a few examples of unusual bests from around the globe. • Did you know that Chris Elliott and Tyson Turk of Bedford, Texas, hold the world record for the most body piercings in one session? Three thousand, one hundred piercings were performed in just over six hours, topping the previous best of 1,015 by a couple in the United Kingdom. (It seems some people aren’t happy with a nice pair of earrings anymore.) • The record for “Most People Inside of a Bubble” is held by Fan and Deni Yang. The two wowed an audience with their outlandish talent for creating bubbles. As part of this year’s BubbleFest in Santa Ana, California, at the city’s Discovery Science Center, they created a soap bubble so large that they were able to fit 118 people inside it, setting the current world record. The BubbleFest, now in its 16th year, celebrates the science and math principles of bubbles. Turn the page for more! WANT TO RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS?

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Hyperlink in Master page Read this entire paper online when you do not have access to it during the week: www.tidbitpapers.com

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C.

March 13th 2012

www.tidbitpapers.com For Distribution E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936

Veterans of Foreign Wars

OFF THE RECORD (continued)

If your non-profit organization has a fundraising event you would like to have published in the Tidbits® paper, please contact us. Space is limited but we will make every effort to list special events such as fund-raisers for your organization. Use our online form at www.tidbitpapers.com

Gem, Mineral, and Fossil Show March 17-8:30am-6:00pm, March 18-9:30am-5:00pm Hawkey Downs Expo Center, 4400 6th St. SW, Cedar Rapids, IA Cedar Rapids,IA Theme-”Geodes-Nature’s Grab Bags” featuring geodes and cave bear and stegodon skeletons. Vendors, demonstrations, displays, silent auction, bone dig, gem flume, educational programs. Profits suppport geology scholarships at Cornell and University of Iowa,VAST center. Our Saviors Lutheran Church Spring Fling Vendor Fair March 25th 12:00PM - 3:00PM 3634 First Avenue NE Cedar Rapids, IA 52402 (across from Town and Country) Yummy homebaked treats! All proceeds go to support Our Saviors Youth Program/ Community Outreach. Buffalo UMC Free Pancake Breakfast March 31, 2012 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. 4009 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids Come and enjoy pancakes, eggs, sausage, and choice of beverage - Saturday, March 31st, 7:00-11:00 a.m. Donations will be used for local mission projects!

Of Linn County

CANCER

FRIDAY*MARCH 16th

FUNDRAISER

* KARAOKE - 8pm - ? *

ALL YOU CAN EAT

FISH FRY

5:30 - 8 pm CEDAR RAPIDS

HOT BEEF

$8.00

SANDWICH

EAGLES CLUB

1735 - 11th Street, NW

Why did the chicken cross the playground? -To get to the other slide!

At-Home Colon Cancer Screening NO Prep Required!!

Free Pet’s Playhouse 151 Jacolyn Dr. NW Cedar Rapids 396-0635

There’s something fishy going on around here...

• Largest Selection of Fresh & Marine Fish Autism  Brain Injury  Cerebral Palsy  Down Syndrome

If you are: - Between age 50 to 64 years old. - Yearly household income of up to: $27,925 for 1 person $37,825 for 2 persons $47,725 for 3 persons $9,900 for each additional person No proof of income required! - Not currently having problems such as - Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Crohn’s Diseases. You may be eligible to enroll in this program. Call Today! (319) 892-6081

Post 788 3240 Southgate Place SW Cedar Rapids, IA 52404

w w w. v f w p o s t 7 8 8 . o r g th

March 16

All you can eat Fish Fry 5-7 $8.00 Every Friday through Lent Baked & Fried Alaskan Pollock Baked Potato, Hash browns, Coleslaw, Rolls

th March 17 Ballroom Dancing

7:30-10:30 Polyester Blend

March 21st

5-7 Tenderloin Dinner $7.00 Bingo following the dinner rd

March 23

All you can eat Fish Fry 5-7 $8.00 Every Friday through Lent Baked & Fried Alaskan Pollock Baked Potato, Hash browns, Coleslaw, Rolls

These events are open to the public.

Cedar Valley Rocks and Minerals Society

• For Takuo Toda, chairman of the Japan Origami Airplane Association, breaking the “Longest Paper Airplane Flight” record with his time of 27.9 seconds was the culmination of an 11-year scientific effort. In April of 2009, Toda finally reached his goal when he turned a sheet of light sugarcane into a 10-cm craft that stayed aloft for almost 30 seconds. Toda’s model bore a striking resemblance to a NASA space shuttle that he recalled watching three decades before, yet Toda claims that his design actually preceded NASA’s by three or four years. In 1980, he began lobbying for a proposal to launch paper darts from the International Space Station, and in 2008, the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency announced a three-year, 90 million yen (over 1.1 million U.S. dollars) study of that very thing. Though it may sound frivolous on its surface, the research could yield valuable information on how future spacecraft may be lighter and more aerodynamic. The next time your co-worker teases you for making paper airplanes, tell him you’re doing it for science!

These events are open to the public.

Page 2

th March 25 Commander’s Pancake Breakfast 9am - 12pm $5.00 per person Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

Event Hall Available

Special events, corporate events, weddings, anniversary

Call for Details: 319-364-7752

Rent our Clubhouse by Shueyville for parties, Receptions & Events Kitchen & Bar (beer/wine) service available. Handicapped accessible. Seats 120 guests. Facility Rental (4 hour minimum) Members: $75 4 hour rental Non-Members: $150 4 hour rental Contact: Mary Jo Meggers 319-848-7643

Good News Baptist Church

1203 3rd Ave. SW Cedar Rapids, IA 52404 Bringing the Good News of The Gospel to the City of Five Seasons

AWANA CLUB FOR KIDS

Each Wed. Evening at 6:30. Ages 3 to 6 grade Coed Volley Ball, ages 20-40, call for details March 25th is Friend Day, please bring a friend. Evangelist Glen Jaspers will be speaking March 20th, Caleb Club for 50 and older.

SERVICE TIMES:

Sunday School 9:45 AM Sunday Morning 11:00 AM Sunday Evening 6:00 PM Wednesday Evening 7:00 PM goodnewsofcr.com

A FULL FAMILY ORIENTED MINISTRY

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NO CASH FUNDS WERE USED FOR THIS ADVERTISEMENT

A pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.

15th Annual

Arc March

March 31, 2012 Lindale Mall Food Court

Start a team now and invite friends, family and coworkers to join. Prize packages for the top three teams. For additional information and to register, visit www.arceci.org/ArcMarch

8:30 am T-shirt Pick-up Breakfast Entertainment 9:30 am Walk Begins

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Walk with me . . . . support people with disabilities

$ $

BUYING

All types of scrap Metal

Auto, Aluminum, Aluminum Cans, Copper and Brass

400 41st Ave. Dr. S.W., Cedar Rapids, IA

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Come to us 1st and last for the best price!

Tidbits® - It is OK to take this paper home with you to share with others when there are plenty available-

March 13th 2012

Page 3

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Advertising E-mail: Kevin@tidbitpapers.com or call 319-270-2961

Volunteers please call.

We are in need of a volunteers to help us with: ● Kitchen Help to feed the homeless breakfast ● Morning drivers to drive our van. ● A driver for three hours every Tuesday ● Help organize upcoming events ● Fundraising programs

Check us out online at: www.hdyouthcenter.com Please call Henry Davison at: 319-329-8841

H.D. Youth Center

NO CASH FUNDS WERE USED FOR THIS AD PLACEMENT

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chicken And A Pit Bull? -Just The Pit Bull Stop in for your St. Patrick’s Day Fun Stuff!

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(319) 298-9999 www.crballoonsetc.com Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband : Nothing. Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

OFF THE RECORD (continued) • American Ashrita Furman presently holds 113 places of distinction within the “Guinness Book of World Records.” Nicknamed “Mr. Versatility,” Furman has set more than 340 records since 1979 in 35 countries on each of the world’s continents. In 2010, he sprinted his way into history with the aid of something generally reserved for the water — a pair of black and blue swim fins. He ran a mile (in fins) in 7 minutes, 56 seconds. In addition to breaking the “eight minute land swim fin mile” (a phrase that we are hoping to popularize), Furman’s accomplishment made him the current record holder for holding current records (the aforementioned 113). • Breaking the “World’s Fastest Furniture” record, a lounge chair created by a design group from the United Kingdom was clocked at 87 miles per hour, well over the speed limit on nearly every highway in the world. Couch potatoes with a need for speed need look no further than the “Casual Lofa” (as its creators Cummfy Banana have deemed it), which has an actual vehicle license with the British Ministry of Transportation. In addition to its plush, leopardpatterned upholstery, the “Lofa” features the same unleaded A-series engine found in the Cooper Mini, along with a steering wheel that doubles as a pizza pan, a hand-operated brake and a throttle that can be operated with the feet up or down. In addition to its performancedriving chair, the company has also built a bed on wheels called the “Street Sleeper” that can go 69 miles per hour and a zooming tub (the “Bog Standard”) that can go 71. They even offer a motorized office suite for the more businessminded racing aficionado.

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A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

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Attention Cosmetologist & Nail Techs Chair Rental available

Wildlife Habitat

166 Collins Rd NE Cedar Rapids 319-393-4927 STORE HOURS: M - F 9am - 5:30pm Sat 9am - 5:00pm Sun Closed

Look for puzzle answers on page 16.

Monday - Saturday 7-8 Lunch specials Sunday 7-6 Specialty coffee 319.438.6617 9 South Ave., Central City, IA Drinks & More

- Please give thanks to the businesses in which you have found this paper available for your enjoyment.-

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C.

March 13th 2012

www.tidbitpapers.com For Distribution E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936 OFF THE RECORD (continued)

COMMUNITY FEATURES

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Monthly Resident Giveaways Monthly Resident Events Newly Remodeled Clubhouse On-Site Laundry Facility Pet Friendly FREE Tanning New Game Room 24 Hour Maintenance Staff Uniformed Courtesy Officer FREE Financial Aid Deferment

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Monthly Resident Events FREE wi-fi in Lounge Pet Friendly Student Living At Its Best! FREE Tanning Spacious Floor Plans Laundry On-Site Management On-Site 319.364.5379 6610 College Park Court SW #1 FREE Internet and Cable Cedar Rapids, IA 52404

Evening Uniformed Courtesy Officer 24-Hour Emergency Maintenanace Staff

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A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

• For even the least fit or scientifically inclined among us, there is one record potentially within our reach, “Most T-Shirts Worn At Once.” On May 22, 2010, Croatia’s Krunoslav Budiseli bested a former Swedish record holder by wearing 245 T-shirts at the same time. The feat took a little less than two hours to complete and ended with the Croatian wearing about 150 pounds (68 kg) worth of T-shirts. Budiseli said things started to become difficult around the 120th shirt, yet he somehow summoned the strength and force of will to don 125 more. Will May 22 live on forever in the annals of Croatian T-shirt achievement? Only time will tell. • In the annals of “records least likely to exist,” the “Most Nights Spent In A Room Full of Scorpions” record would’ve been pretty close to the top, yet Kanchana Ketkaew of Thailand actually managed it. Ketkaew spent 33 days in the company of 5,320 live scorpions. The room, which was made of glass, was not much larger than a normal office room — about 10 feet wide by 12 feet long. Despite sharing cramped quarters with a swarm of unfriendly crawling roommates, Ketkaew emerged relatively unscathed, getting stung only about 13 times. • After a day of exciting-yet-exhausting chair racing, you are bound to want a snack. How about a bite of the current record holder for “World’s Biggest Cookie,” which weighed in at 40,000 pounds? In 2003, the owners and employees of the Immaculate Baking Company converged to bake a cookie designed to satisfy even the largest of appetites. About a 100 feet in diameter, the cookie was so big that it had to be photographed from 100 feet above just to get it all on camera!

Let us help get

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Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"

Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

♦ Accounting ♦ Computer Consulting ♦ Auditing ♦ Tax services ♦ Payroll & bookkeeping ♦ Employee Benefits Services ♦ Management Advisory Service ♦ Small Business Services

Kevin L, Ballard, CPA

366-8267 Ext. 12

www.hoganhansen.com 2750 First Ave. NE, Suite 150 Cedar Rapids, IA 52402

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem. The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem." The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself." The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"

CastlebrookStudio

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ife

Page 4

eW o e C h e ri s h Y

L ur

CastlebrookStudio Proudly presents

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CRUISE ALASKA $999 per person

For frequently asked questions visit 319-294-3527 www.comfortcareia.com Comfort Care Inc. Proudly Presents

7 Night Alaska Hubbard Glacier Cruise From: $999.00 per person - Includes all taxes and fees (luxury interior stateroom.) KEVIN ALEXANDER Amana Office (319) 225-8060 North Liberty Office (319) 665-3321 Price is per person based on 2 to stateroom – Subject to change upon availability

PLEASE CALL 360-3936 FOR THE BEST LOW COST ADVERTISING IN LINN COUNTY

March 13th 2012

Page 5

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Advertising E-mail: Kevin@tidbitpapers.com or call 319-270-2961

JEFF’S RV INC. We service all makes and models of Motorhomes and trailers.

Don’t Drive in the Dark!

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after

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Answers on page 16

Kings & Queens

Coaches.

Buses Run Daily to Meskwaki Casino

D A

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8:30 AM 10:45 AM 5:30 PM

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.

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Garnett Place

RETIREMENT COMMUNITY 202 35th. St. Dr. S.E. Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52403 Assisted Living Town Homes Independent Living

319-362-3630 Virtual Tour: www.garnettplace.net Everything you need to make it home. ● Private, Studio, 1-2 Bedroom Apartments ● 3 Chef Prepared Meals per Day ● Weekly Housekeeping & Laundry ● Emergency Call System ● Engaging Activities Calendar ● Secured Building

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

ROB’S RHYMES®

Electric Glue Life can become fragmented as friends move through time Each piece fluttering in the wind, separate not able to rhyme Lost are those connections that made our soul, those we knew Enter Facebook, the medium that now acts like electronic glue

Page 6

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C.

A-1

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March 13th 2012

www.tidbitpapers.com For Distribution E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936

HOME HEALTHCARE Equipment & Supplies Wide Variety of Lift Chairs Best Prices in Town

Free Delivery in Cedar Rapids Area We Submit Medicare Paperwork

3223 1st Ave. SE Cedar Rapids, IA 52402

319-362-1084

Stop by and talk to Rick

A-1 Home Healthcare Proudly Presents

Senior News Line by Matilda Charles

Online Gaming Our local senior center shares a building with an after-school program for teens. One recent afternoon I spied one of my friends heading up the stairs to the teen area. Thinking she had volunteered to run a shift, I was surprised to learn that she was on her way to a computer game convention -- with the teens. Sure enough, when I looked later, there she was in a huddle with a group of kids all hooked into a “role-playing” game on the center’s laptops. A study done about senior gamers revealed that older women are the fastest-growing segment of those who play online, and they spend more time at it than any other group. We like roleplaying, adventure and mystery online games. We want mental stimulation rather than those games that require fast reflexes. We like exploration games that actually have a storyline with puzzles to be solved. While most of us like single-player games, many players, like my friend, prefer being in a multiplayer game. Here’s what I learned at the senior center: --Online gaming is generally not free, if you play as a subscriber. Beware that when you buy more in-game currency or other items, it gets added to your credit card. --It can be addicting. Yes, it’s fun using a cartoon persona, but don’t let it take over your life. Sitting for so long at a computer isn’t good for your health. --Depending on the game, it can be serious brain food as you have increasing events and components to coordinate and take care of. Want to learn more about our peers who are gaming online? Go online and search for a study called “The Truth About Baby Boomer Gamers.” Matilda Charles regrets that she cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into her column whenever possible. Write to her in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

STRANGE BUT TRUE by Samantha Weaver

Why sit home alone when there is so much at Keystone Place waiting for you.

● It was 20th-century American director, screenwriter, playwright and novelist Ben Hecht who made the following sage observation: “Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.” ● If you visualize an image of John Lennon, more likely than not you’ll see him in your mind’s eye wearing a pair of round spectacles. In July of 2007, one pair of those iconic glasses was sold at auction for a whopping $2 million. ● There’s nothing terribly surprising about the fact that an animated version of George Orwell’s famed novel “Animal Farm” was produced in the United States in 1954. What made this production unusual is that the movie rights were bought by, and the film was covertly funded by, the CIA. It was thought that it would be excellent anti-Communist propaganda during the Cold War. ● You might be surprised to learn that early automobile magnate Henry Ford was a fan of soy. In the 1940s, the fabric used for the upholstery in some of his cars was made from 25 percent soy. He even owned a soy-based suit of clothing that he would sometimes wear for media events. ● The Transportation Security Administration banned cigarette lighters on carry-on luggage between 2005 and 2007. During that time, TSA screeners confiscated 22,978 lighters every day. Safe disposal of those lighters cost the taxpayers approximately $4 million every year. *** Thought for the Day: “Obstinacy is the result of the will forcing itself into the place of the intellect.” -- Arthur Schopenhauer (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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● On March 18, 1852, in New York City, Henry Wells and William G. Fargo join with several other investors to launch their namesake business. In July 1852, their company shipped its first loads of freight from the East Coast to mining camps scattered around northern California. ● On March 17, 1901, paintings by the late Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh are shown in Paris. Van Gogh had committed suicide 11 years earlier without any notion that his work was destined to win acclaim beyond his wildest dreams. In his lifetime, he had sold only one painting. ● On March 14, 1914, stock-car racer Lee Arnold Petty (father of Richard Petty) is born near Randleman, N.C. In 1959, he won the Daytona 500. It’s said that Lee Petty never lost a race on account of being too kind to his competitors, even if his competitors were family.

● On March 13, 1942, the Quartermaster Corps of the United States Army begins training dogs for the newly established War Dog Program, or “K-9 Corps.” Perhaps the most famous war dog was Rin Tin Tin, an abandoned puppy of German war dogs found in France in 1918 and taken to the United States, where he made his film debut in the 1922 silent film “The Man From Hell’s River.” ● On March 15, 1954, the Chords record “Shboom.” The song’s lighthearted melody and nonsensical lyrics kicked off a new era of “doowop” music. Doo-wop hits included “Earth Angel” by the Penguins and “In the Still of the Night” by the Five Satins. ● On March 12, 1969, the London drug squad appears at house of George Harrison and Pattie Boyd with a warrant and drug-sniffing canines. Sergeant Pilcher, the man behind the raid, was later convicted of planting drugs in other cases and went to jail in 1972. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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UNIVERSAL THEME PARK Nestled in the San Fernando Valley, just over the hill from Hollywood, is one of Los Angeles’ great attractions, The Universal Theme Park. Though Disneyland has the more heralded history and gets a majority of the press, Universal has quietly carved out a place of magic and wonder for locals and visiting tourists since 1964. In fact, it is estimated that over 100 million men, women and children have since walked the Universal Grounds, making it one of the top tourist attractions in U.S. history. • The Universal back lot tour officially opened to the public in 1964, although informal tours were available to the public before then. The first tours were walking tours, allowing visitors to get a look at productions filming on the studio lot. In addition to getting a glimpse of active sets, guests were given a look behind the scenes in the dressing rooms of their favorite Universal stars. These early tours lasted about 90 minutes. • In the next decade, walking tours were replaced with more state-of-the-art transportation. A pink-and-white tram nicknamed the “GlamTram” became the preferred mode of transport. Onboard, a knowledgeable guide tells the studio’s rich history, shares bits of trivia and answers questions for curious visitors. Some lucky guests have even enjoyed face-to-face visits with the performers themselves, as on occasion stars have made themselves personally available to meet, sign autographs and answer questions. At the tour’s end, guests are given the opportunity to eat in the studio commissary, where star watching is just as important as whetting hardy appetites. • In 1977, Universal began adding new attractions as both part of and separate from the back lot tour. These attractions included the Screen Test Comedy Theater, the Animal Actors stage, the Prop Plaza and the Western Stunt Show. Video screens were added to the tram, allowing visitors to watch productions on the lot being filmed live.

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• The influence of Disneyland’s theme-ridecentric design emerged in the 1970s as the park added attractions inspired by some of the most successful movies filmed there, like “The Ten Commandments,” “Jaws” and “King Kong.” In the intervening three decades, a host of new attractions have been added. These include the Revenge of the Mummy thrill coaster, the Special Effects Stage, Jurassic Park – The Ride, Shrek 4-D, The Simpsons Animated Virtual Coaster and King Kong 360 3-D, a ride designed by film director Peter Jackson (“King Kong,” “The Lord of The Rings” trilogy) that the Los Angeles Times described as “the kind of aweinspiring theme park attraction you can’t find anywhere else.” • Today, guests can roam 415 acres of Universal Property including the lot, theme park and Universal City, a teaming outdoor plaza that includes restaurants, shops and one of California’s largest and most modern movie theaters. Though the studio lot tour now takes less than hour, visitors are advised to arrive early. Almost 100 years of cinematic history have been celebrated there, more than enough to captivate even the most casual movie buff for hours on end.

March 13th, 2012

December 22– January 19

June 22– July 22 Blink, and you’ll miss it for sure, Cancer. That’s how small the gesture will be, but at least an effort was made. Be grateful, and watch as it is paid forward.

January 20– February 18 Organization is key to pulling off a project. Get all of your Ps and Qs in order and work through the process in stages. A friend makes a keen observation. Be receptive, Aquarius.

July 23– August 22

Stand back, Capricorn. Opportunities are headed your way. Take advantage of every last one. Your home begins to resemble a closet.

February 19– March 20 All is fair in love and war, Pisces. You took a chance and you lost. Better luck next time. A favor is returned when you least expect it.

March 21– April 19 Two wrongs do not make a right. Admit what you did, Aries, and prepare to pay the price. Weekend adventures put everyone in high spirits.

Don’t jump to conclusions, Leo. What you see is not what you’ll get. You’re only in the initial stages of planning. Give the idea time to flesh out before you critique it.

August 23– September 22 It is what it is, Virgo. No amount of fussing is going to make the situation better, so leave it be. You have much bigger fish to fry.

September 23– October 22 You need to break the ice, Libra, but be careful you don’t go overboard and say something that could turn into a deal breaker..

April 20– May 20 Force your way in, Taurus, and you will regret it. Be patient, wait your turn and it will come in time. The web of deception builds at work.

October 23– November 21 Craft ideas abound. Make a day of it with your family, Scorpio, and get the scoop on what you’ve been missing. A brave face makes an earnest plea.

May 21– June 21 Creative endeavors take off with a special purchase. Grab some friends and make a party of it, Gemini. The fix for an auto dilemma is clear.

November 22– December 21 Stop it, Sagittarius! You’ve devoted way too many hours to a project that clearly wasn’t meant to be. Can it and move on to something more fruitful.

Page 9

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Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Advertising E-mail: Kevin@tidbitpapers.com or call 319-270-2961

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HELPING YOUR SELF-HELP

Although the New Year has passed, many of us are perhaps still a little behind on taking up those New Year’s resolutions we made a few short months ago. Whether it is to lose weight, cut out an unhealthy vice or commit to more time with the family, our resolutions are a reminder that our growth as human beings necessitates increased levels of self-discipline. Yet what if the issue isn’t a lack of discipline? Perhaps you’re a model of steely determination but have run out of creative ways to push yourself to newer and greater heights in 2012. The self-help section of your local bookstore is usually a fair start, but it rarely offers any ideas you haven’t already thought of. To resolve this problem, here are three “different” (but real) advice books to use as possible starting points in the quest for a better you: • Have you ever thought of yourself as someone with unearthly powers of clairvoyance? Have you ever been described as someone who lifts the spirits of everyone around you? If so, maybe you should grab a copy of “The Lightworker’s Way: Awakening Your Spiritual Power to Know and Heal” by Dr. Doreen Virtue. This tome could be just what you need to enhance your inner telekinetic superpowers. As the book’s Amazon description helpfully outlines, you are a “lightworker” if you “feel called to heal others” and “want to resolve the world’s social and environmental problems” through “spiritual methods.” • Or perhaps “Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself” by Dale Power is a better fit. This book’s online description hints at the morbidity of the new skill you’ll be learning. “Here’s the help you need for one of life’s most critical undertakings — making your own coffin,” it proudly declares, leaving one to muse whether the author understood his own darkly comic wordplay. Within the book’s chapters, you’ll find a wealth of detailed instructions and color photos to aid you in completing “your life’s finest accomplishment.” “Finest accomplishment” is debatable, but it is possible that it could be your final one. • You may be saying to yourself, “Yes, these previous books sound fascinating, but how do I read them?” Well, then you might need “How to Read a Book” by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren. If the issue is one of actual literacy, this book won’t help you. No, instead this 1940 volume teaches you “different reading techniques for reading practical books, imaginative literature, plays, poetry, history, science and mathematics, philosophy and social science.” What the Amazon description fails to mention is that one of its authors is an authority on another subject, too: namely, cheating at televised game shows. It’s the same Charles Van Doren who was an admitted accomplice in the rigging of outcomes on the 1959 NBC show “Twenty One.”

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Page 10

March 13th 2012

T a k e t h i s i s s u e o f Tidbits® h o m e w i t h y o u t o s h a r e w i t h y o u r f a m i l y !

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C.

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“NATIONAL” WORDS (continued): • French: Chefs know what it means to “french” a food item. It’s a verb that means to cut into thin strips, like, well, french fries. (And yes, that’s how the finger-friendly potato dish took its name.) Green beans are another item commonly prepared in this manner.

• Maltese: These tiny spaniels are easy to identify thanks to their long, silky coats. The American Kennel Club groups them withBroker/Owner, other Listing “Toy Specialist, HUD Specialist Dogs” like Pugs and 319-981-DAVE (3283) CAN SELL Yorkshire Terriers. YOUR HOME www.990man.com Feline aficionados Hard to find 4.43 Acres, also use the in term town3 BD/2BA, acreage. Maltese to describe 3 garages, 3BR cats that have2.5BA, a si-2 Spectacular views, milarly silky, garages, graysharp! $189k $189,500 blue coat.

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Information in the Tidbits® Paper is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed.

Can’t Get Enough

TRILOGY III

Send $24.95 (plus $5 S&H) by Check or Money Order to: Tidbits Media, Inc. 1430 I-85 Parkway, Suite 301 Montgomery AL 36106

(Alabama residents LIMITED EDITION BOOK SET please add $1 sales tax.) Reprints of Books I, II & III WHILE THEY LAST!

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Fruit Fly Swarm Infests Kitchen Q: How can I get rid of pesky fruit flies? They’re all over my kitchen. -- Stephen F., Warwick, R.I. A: Fruit flies, as their name indicates, love hanging out around fruit, or any sort of sweetish, sugary item. They’re much more common in the summer months, but it’s not unusual to see them in early spring, particularly in the kitchen, if the conditions are right. A warm environment combined with a bowl of overripe bananas often is all it takes for a few fruit flies to set up housekeeping, and in a few days, it will seem like they’re everywhere. The fastest way to get rid of fruit flies is to hunt down and get rid of items in which they live and breed: namely, overripe, fermented or spoiled fruits, vegetables or other food. They also can thrive in drains, empty containers, mops, piles of damp rags or clothing -- anywhere that liquid or food has been allowed to sit and get stagnant. They can even get into your refrigerator. Throw out old food and clean the kitchen or other infested areas. Look behind appliances, including the stove and refrigerator, for dropped food or spilled juices. Check and clean all cabinets, especially those in which food is stored (canned or fresh), in case any food has fallen out of sight and spoiled. Treat drains, including unused or infrequently used drains, by pouring a cup of white vinegar down each and letting it sit for several minutes before rinsing with hot water. If a thorough cleaning doesn’t end the problem, talk with a pest control professional about locating other sources of the infestation and treating with a pesticide. To prevent future infestations or minimize the impact of one (since fruit flies can be brought into the house with fruit and veggies from the store), clean the kitchen and other areas where food is eaten or stored once a week, and reduce the amount of clutter in those areas so the bugs have fewer places to settle in. Treat drains with vinegar once a month, or more frequently if needed. Store garbage in tightly sealed containers and away from entry points like windows or doors. Make sure window screens don’t have holes or small tears that would allow pests through. HOME TIP: Make a simple fruit fly trap by pouring an ounce or two of apple cider or putting a slice of banana into a glass jar, then rolling a piece of paper into a funnel shape and sticking the narrow end of the funnel into the jar. Fruit flies will be attracted down the funnel to the cider, but can’t get out. Send your questions or tips to ask@ thisisahammer.com, or write This Is a Hammer, c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc.

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Page 11

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Advertising E-mail: Kevin@tidbitpapers.com or call 319-270-2961 NOW HERE’S A TIP By JoAnn Derson

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Fact or Fiction? Marching Band Challenge Most parades have at least one marching band, if not more. Here are some questions about marching bands. How many can you answer correctly? 1) Banner carriers usually walk near the end of marching bands. Fact or Fiction? 2) Drum captains often lead marching bands. Fact or Fiction? 3) Most marching bands have a large, low-sounding drum called the trombone. Fact or Fiction? 4) One of the smallest instruments in a marching band is the tuba. Fact or Fiction? 5) One of the biggest instruments in a marching band is the flute. Fact or Fiction? 6) Some people in a marching band might play the cornet, which looks like a trumpet. Fact or Fiction? 7) In order to be heard, some French horn players might switch to a mellophone when marching. Fact or Fiction? 8) Violins are often found in marching bands. Fact or Fiction? 9) Some marching bands are accompanied by a guard. Fact or Fiction? 10) A marching band song might end with the clash of the saxophones. Fact or Fiction?

9/28/2010 10:41:02 PM

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Answers: 1) Fiction, banner carriers walk in front of marching bands, 2) Fiction, drum majors usually lead marching bands, 3) Fiction, the big drum is called a bass drum, 4) Fiction, tubas are one of the biggest, 5) Fiction, flutes are one of the smallest, 6) Fact, 7) Fact, 8) Fiction, violins are usually found in an orchestra not a marching band, 9) Fact, 10) Fiction, cymbals, not saxophones, are clashed together

Page 12

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March 13th 2012

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teacher of all. Itbaking teaches you loyalty, forbearance, inch dish with butter-flavored cooking meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness…and spray. Evenly arrange broccoli in prepared manybaking other qualitiesdish. you wouldn’t have needed Broccoli-Corn Scallop if you’d stayed single.” 2. In a large bowl, combine dry milk powder 1. What is the top speed that human beings If you’re like me and love broccoli, I can almost promise and water. Add eggs, onion flakes and half of can run in miles-per-hour? that this tasty side dish will become a favorite. If you the cracker crumbs. Mix well to combine. Stir hate broccoli, then I guess you’ll just have to skip over in cream-style corn and whole kernel corn. 2. How fast can a cheetah run in miles-perthis recipe. But, oh, what good food you’re missing! Spread corn mixture evenly over broccoli. hour? Sprinkle remaining cracker crumbs evenly ty and ﬁfty3 cups frozen chopped broccoli, thawed and drained on top. Lightly spray top with butter-flavored er pollution2/3 cup nonfat dry milk powder cooking spray. 1st Quarter 2011 prices are3/4 cup water 3. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes. Place baking dish in egg “Being a decathlete is like having ten Week 4substitute US history.2 eggs or equivalent on a wire rack and let set for 5 minutes. Divide flakes You have to love them all, and rth and your1 teaspoon dried onion girlfriends. into 6 servings.

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made into you can’tcrackers, afford losing one.” owly. Every10 reduced-fat butter-flavored crumbs Each equals: 142 calories, 2g fat, 8g protein, Former World Record-holding decathlete, rive reduces This●word means:serving Majestic or godlike 23g carb., 242mg sodium, 3g fiber; Daley Thompson Try to stay1 (8-ounce) can cream-style corn in manner or bearing. Diabetic Exchanges: 1 1/2 Starch, 1 Vegetable. ighway and1 (8-ounce) can whole-kernel corn, rinsed and drained (c) 2012 King Features Synd., Inc. r maximum

ANSWERS

Most records that occupy the Guinness Book of World Records are Eva Longoria 3/15/75 solo affairs, but a British charity event Jerry Lewis 3/16/26 on March 5th, 2011, found people Dane Cook 3/18/1972 1. About 25. Bruce Willis 3/19/1955 united in a common cause that yielded Rosie O’Donnell 3/21/1962 both needed funds for the Comic 2. Over 70. Reese Witherspoon 3/22/1976 Relief Foundation and a historic group Sarah Jessica Parker 3/25/1965 performance. Participants gathered Steven Tyler 3/26/1948 Quentin Tarantino 3/27/1963 to collectively tell as many jokes as quickly as they could, performing cal228 concept. three digits, Pi comes out to 3.14. By in under anRounded hour (one oftothem Albert Einstein. is contained in this Tidbits) and setting a new record.

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