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Plain Sense of Summer "Mosquito is out, it's the end of the day; she's humming and hunting her evening away. Who knows why such hunger arrives on such wings at sundown? I guess it's the nature of things." - N. M. Boedecker, Midsummer Night Itch
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
" Many public-school children seem to know only two dates: 1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion."
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
"Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat, we say we have had our day."
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Grass is the cheapest plant to install and the most expensive to maintain. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- Mark Twain
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Atheist and the Bear An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home others I don't exist and even credit creation to a and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a his car onto a freeway. believer?" Experience is the thing you have left when The atheist looked directly into the light and said, everything else is gone. "Could you make the BEAR a Christian? I mean it One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you other people. make the BEAR a Christian?" The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. "Very well," said the voice. The light went out, and Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, the sounds of the forest resumed. and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about Life is sexually transmitted. to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."
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â–˛ On July 7, 1797, for the first time in U.S. history, the House of
months later after he defied the president and threatened to escalate hostilities with China. â–˛ On July 5, 1975, although seemingly past his prime, Arthur Ashe defeats a heavily favored Jimmy Connors to become the first black man ever to win Wimbledon, the most coveted Representatives votes to impeach a championship in tennis. federal officer. Sen. William Blount of Tennessee was charged with “a â–˛ On July 11, 1916, President Woodrow high misdemeanorâ€? for entering into a Wilson signs the Federal Aid Road Act. conspiracy with British officers to enlist Since the mid-19th century, the building frontiersmen and Cherokee Indians to aid and maintenance of roads had been seen as a state and local responsibility. the British. â–˛ On July 3, 1863, on the third day of the Battle of Gettysburg, Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee’s last attempt at breaking the Union line ends in disastrous failure, bringing the most decisive battle of the American Civil War to an end. The tally: 23,000 killed, wounded or missing Union soldiers. The Confederates suffered some 25,000 casualties. â–˛ On July 4, 1919, challenger Jack Dempsey defeats heavyweight champion Jess Willard in searing 110-degree heat in Toledo, Ohio, to win the heavyweight championship of the world. “The Manassa Maulerâ€? bested Willard in 10 minutes. â–˛ On July 6, 1933, Major League Baseball’s first All-Star Game takes place at Chicago’s Comiskey Park. The event was designed to bolster the sport and improve its reputation during the darkest days of the Great Depression. â–˛ On July 8, 1950, Gen. Douglas MacArthur, the hero of the war against Japan, is appointed head of the United Nations Command by President Harry Truman. Truman fired MacArthur nine
McDONALD'S (Continued) • In a survey of 7,000 people from six foreign countries, 88% could identify a McDonald’s golden arches logo while only 54% could identify the Christian cross. • A survey of American schoolchildren found that 96% could identify Ronald McDonald. The only fictional character with a higher degree of recognition was Santa Claus. • Ronald McDonald is #2 on the list of top ten advertising icons of the twentieth century. The Marlboro Man is number one. • There are only two places in the contiguous U.S. where you can be over 100 miles away from the nearest McDonald’s: a spot in the desert of northwestern Nevada, and a place in the middle of the plains of South Dakota. • McDonald’s is the world’s second largest private employer with 1.5 million employees. Only Wal-Mart employs more people, with 1.9 million. One out of eight American workers has worked for McDonald’s at some point. The median age of its workers is 28. • McDonald’s spends more on advertising and marketing than any other company, replacing Coke as the world’s most famous brand. • McDonald’s is the world’s largest purchaser of beef, pork, and potatoes, and the second largest purchaser of chicken (after Kentucky Fried Chicken). They buy 2 billion eggs each year. • McDonald’s sells about 550 million Big Macs each year in the U.S. Americans eat over 1 billion lbs. of beef at McDonald’s in a year, which is 5½ million cows. 400 quarter pounders can be made out of one cow. • McDonald’s sells an average of 75 hamburgers per second. One hamburger contains meat from up to 100 different cows. • McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets come in four shapes and they all have
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▲ On July 13, 1930, France defeats Mexico 4-1 and the United States defeats Belgium 3-0 in the first-ever World Cup soccer matches, played simultaneously in host city Montevideo, Uruguay. The World Cup has since become the world’s most watched sporting event. ▲ On July 9, 1947, in a ceremony at the Pentagon, Gen. Dwight Eisenhower appoints Florence Blanchfield a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Army, making her the first woman in U.S. history to hold permanent military rank. ▲ On July 12, 1984, Walter Mondale, Democratic presidential candidate, announces his choice of Rep. Geraldine Ferraro of New York as his running mate, the first woman nominated by a major party for the vice presidency.
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â–˛ On July 10, 1992, the Alaska court of appeals overturns the conviction of Joseph Hazelwood, the former captain of the oil tanker Exxon Valdez. Hazelwood, Sound in 1989, argued that he was ship ran aground. who was found guilty of negligence for entitled to immunity because he had (c) 2018 Hearst Communications, Inc. the massive oil spill in Prince William reported the oil spill 20 minutes after the names: the boot, the ball, the bone, and the bell. • There are 40 ingredients in Chicken McNuggets. The McRib has 70. A strawberry milkshake contains about 50 chemicals used to imitate the flavor of strawberries. • The McRib, which debuted in 1981, was invented in part because chicken farmers couldn’t keep up with the demand for McNuggets. There’s no actual rib meat in the McRib. Instead, pork shoulder is pressed into the rib-like shape using a mold. • The Filet-o-Fish was originally developed for Catholic customers, since they generally abstain from eating meat on Fridays. Today, 23% of Filet-o-Fish sales occur during Lent. • McDonalds sells over 1 billion cups of coffee each day around the world. It sells 500 million cups a day in the U.S. alone. • McDonald’s doesn’t sell hot dogs because, according to Ray Kroc, “there’s no telling what’s inside a hot dog’s skin.â€? • In 1982, two men were arrested after stealing a statue of Ronald McDonald in Pennsylvania and holding it hostage. They demanded a ransom of 150 burgers, 150 shakes, and one diet soda to go. They threatened to melt Ronald down and make him into ashtrays for a competing fast food restaurant if their demands were not met. • The largest McDonald’s in the U.S., with 25,000 square feet of space, is located in Orlando, Florida. The store includes a bowling alley, 100 arcade games, a 500gallon aquarium, a waterfall, and slides for children. The location frequently hosts concerts and gator shows. • In Japan, Ronald McDonald is called “Donald McDonaldâ€? due to a lack of a clear “Râ€? sound in Japanese. • It takes the average McDonald’s employee 7 months to earn what a McDonald’s CEO earns in a single hour. • McDonald's was supposed to revamp the Golden Arches in 1960 but a psychologist argued to keep them in the form of the “Mâ€? because it resembled breasts. • There’s a McDonald's with turquoise
arches in Sedona, Arizona. Paris is the only place in the world where the McDonald’s arches are white instead of golden. • Iceland is currently one of only a handful of countries around the world with no McDonald’s due to the high expense of importing everything. Other countries with no McDonald’s include Algeria, Albania, Ghana, Bolivia, Zimbabwe, and North Korea. • McDonald’s first drive-thru opened in 1975 in Sierra Vista,Arizona. The restaurant was located near a military base, and
soldiers were not allowed to leave their cars while wearing fatigues. • The average McDonald’s drive-thru transaction takes roughly three minutes. • Since 1996, skiers have been able to schuss into the world’s only ski-thru McDonald’s in the Lindvallen resort area in Sweden. The only floating McDonald’s, called the McBarge, was located in Vancouver, Canada. It was built for the 1986 World’s Fair, but it is now abandoned.
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Service Prices include: Trip, labor & parts in the metro area during standard business hours their “chipsâ€? with salt and malt vinegar, mayonnaise is a popular accompaniment in Belgium, and in Vietnam they serve their fries with soft butter and a sprinkling of sugar. Poutine, consisting of fries, cheese curds, and gravy, is considered one of Canada’s unofficial national dishes. • In a 2014 study, Greek researchers tested how gravity affects deep frying. Using a centrifuge, they found that as gravity gets stronger, fries get crispier. The perfect fry would be made at three times Earth’s gravity. Fries in microgravity would be soggy. • The slang term for potato, “spud,â€? comes from the spade-like tool that is used to harvest the potatoes. • Tater Tots were created to use potato shreds left over from production of French fries.
• Steak fries tend to have lower fat content than normal French fries, due to the lower surface-to-volume ratio when submerged in oil. • To burn off the calories in a medium order of McDonald’s French fries, you would need to do 58 minutes of cycling, 90 minutes of bowling, or 47 minutes of high impact aerobics. • The largest helping of fries was served in Eagle, Idaho on Sep. 20, 2014. It weighed 1,003 lbs. (454 kg) and used 1,256 lbs. (570 kg) of raw potatoes along with 110 gallons (416 l) of oil to fry them up. The longest fry in the world was made by Arby’s and was 38 inches (96 cm) long. It was a curly fry.
• French fries are the most popular type of fast food in America. In 1970, the sale of French fries surpassed the sale of regular potato for the first time in the United States. • French fries actually originated in Belgium, and a manuscript dated to the year 1680 is the first known mention of fries. During World War 1 when American soldiers arrived in Belgium, they found the locals enjoying fried potatoes and called them “French fried potatoesâ€? because French was the official language of the Belgian army at the time. • People in Belgium consume more fried /NE OF THE 4WIN #ITIES ,ARGEST potatoes per capita than any other country—some /UTDOOR #RAFT &AIRS 165 pounds (75 kg) a person annually. By contrast, the average American eats 48 pounds (22 kg) of all varieties of potato over the course of a year, and 30 pounds (14 kg) of that will be in the form of French fries. • The Fries Museum, or Frietmuseum, in Bruges, Belgium is the first and only museum in the world dedicated to fries. • In France, French fries are called either “fritesâ€? (meaning “friedâ€?) or “patates fritesâ€? or “pommes frites.â€? In many parts of the world, French fries are known as American fries. In England they’re called chips, so “fish and chipsâ€? is really fish and fries. • The first occurrence of French fries in America may have been at a diplomatic dinner hosted by Thomas Jefferson. • McDonald’s uses 9 million pounds of potatoes every single day and is the largest purchaser of potatoes in the world. • About 7% of all the potatoes grown in the U.S. are turned into McDonald’s fries. They sell more than 1/3 of all the French fries sold in restaurants in the U.S. each year. • McDonald’s fries contain 19 ingredients. • Americans dunk fries in ketchup, Brits eat
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Reducing Suicide Risk The number is almost as bad as it used to be: 20 veterans commit suicide each day, down from a previous 22. That number still is much too high. True to his word, however, President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order directing more supportive mental health care for service members who are now transitioning to veteran status. Three agencies will work together on this: the Department of Veterans Affairs, the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security. The target time for support and intervention is in that first year, with the stress of separating from the service and moving into civilian life. Some of those stresses include finances, relationships, legal concerns and substance abuse. One big problem has been that signs and symptoms haven’t appeared until after the transition to civilian life.
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Sixteen steps are planned, such as expanding community outreach from 18 facilities to all of them, and extending Be There Peer Support Call and Outreach Center services for a whole year after separation. Military One Source resources to active-duty members will be expanded and include services for one year after separation. In addition, all separating service members will receive a mental-health screening; those who need care and support will be enrolled in services. Peer Support will include phone calls at specified intervals during the first year, with an initial goal to reach 60 percent of veterans. If you’re about to separate or recently did, and you get a phone call, heads up. Pay attention not only for yourself but to gather information for other veterans you might know. Listen to what they say about the Easy Button (a fast track for mental health appointments and care), the improved monitoring and resources, and the seamless access to treatment for mental health and suicide prevention. To learn more, read the attachment to Executive Order 13822. (c) 2018 King Features Synd, Inc.
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New Studies Target Fruits, Eggs and Finances Here is selection of studies about seniors from around the globe: Norway: It seems that what we’ve been told about how many servings of fruits and vegetables to eat each day to stay healthy might not be accurate. All these years we’ve been told five. The correct number is eight. Finding: For every 200 gram (.84 cup) increase in fruits or vegetables we eat, we decrease our risk of stroke and premature death by 10.8 percent. Finding: Eating canned fruit, however, increases the risk. Australia: For years we’ve been told to be wary of the cholesterol in eggs. A new study now claims that eggs aren’t linked to heart disease, even eating up to a dozen eggs per
United States: Seniors who have had serious financial shocks experience increased mortality from all causes. A study followed 8,700 seniors (some wealthy and some not) for 20 years after being assessed in 1994. “Negative wealth shock” was considered as losing more than 75 percent of net worth over a two-year period. Finding: Participants were 50 percent more likely to die if they suffered negative wealth shock during a two-year period. Finding: Those who only experienced low income during their lives were at an even greater risk of death. Before you make changes to your diet based on studies, ask your doctor. After all, fruit contains sugar and eggs have cholesterol. While you’re there, if you’ve had a serious financial setback, let your doctor know. (c) 2018 King Features Synd., Inc.
By JoAnn Derson ■ Moving tip: Put books into suitcases, which often have wheels and good handles, in order to transport them. Books placed in boxes can get unbalanced when they don’t fill the box efficiently. It makes them hard to carry and hard to stack, since you risk the corners crushing. But suitcases are easy to carry right to the shelf before unloading. ■ Finding a bandage to cover a skinned knee or elbow is almost impossible. These can be a large or irregular area that doesn’t fit under even the most generous of bandages, and adhesive bandages just don’t stick well
Page 6
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over a joint. Here’s a tip for that: Apply antibacterial ointment generously, then cover the knee or elbow with a regular gauze pad. Then add a “sleeve” cut from a pair of tights. It moves with the joint without bunching up the way an ACE bandage does, and it stays in place. ■ “After the kids decorated cupcakes one day, I found that the counter and floor were covered with little spilled sprinkles. They were the ball kind, and they were hard to pick up. Rather than sweeping them up (which made them go flying), I used a lint roller, which worked perfectly.” -- S.I. in New York ■ Some facts about cantaloupe, now in prime season: Choose fruit that is smooth and round, with a depressed, soft scar on the stem end. Look for netting on the skin that is even and yellow, not green. One cantaloupe will get you about 50 melon balls or 4 cups of fruit when diced.
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ANTOINE AND POTATOES • Potatoes originated in the Peruvian Andes. The Incas called them “batatas.” They were eating potatoes 2,000 years before Columbus set sail. When the Spanish Conquistadors ar-rived, they had never seen anything like it. They were forced to eat potatoes when their food supplies ran low. The potatoes they in-troduced to Europe were more valuable than the gold they sought. However, it was hard to convince the European populace to try them. • Because the potato is a member of the deadly nightshade family, Europeans were suspicious of it, and rumors spread that eating them would cause death. Laws were passed forbidding their cultivation for fear they would spread leprosy. That changed due to French pharmacist Antoine Parmentier. • Parmentier was serving the French army during the Seven Years War in the mid-1700s when he was captured by the Prussians and thrown into jail. At the time, potatoes were considered to be livestock feed only, not fit for human consumption. Jailers fed Parmentier only potatoes, expecting him to die. In-stead, he thrived. By the time he was released from prison, he was convinced that potatoes were the food of the future. Now he needed to convince the rest of France. • He entered a contest that offered a prize to the person who could come up with the best recipe that offered the most nourishment for patients suffering from dysentery. He won with a recipe for potato soup. • Next there was a contest to come up with the best substitute for wheat flour when making bread – and potato flour won. No one paid much attention at the time, but when the wheat crop later failed, it was potatoes that kept the populace of northern France from starving. • Parmentier began his fight for the potato in earnest. He invited all the royalty, the famous, and the wealthy to a well-publicized banquet in which every single dish, from soup to dessert, was made from potatoes. The queen even wore a garland of potato flowers in her hair. He knew that the common folk tended to copy whatever the elite were doing. • Next he planted potatoes in a plot and posted armed guards around it, while spreading the rumor that
he was growing something valuable and rare. The guards were instructed to accept any and all bribes they were offered in order to let the local peasants steal potatoes. At night, the guards were removed, encourag-ing even more thievery. • Then he published a pamphlet that gave in-structions on how to grow potatoes along with many recipes on how to cook them, and he made sure that the treatise carried the words “Published by order of the King” on the front page. Copies were distributed to every administrator in France with the instructions that the cultivation and consumption of potatoes was to be encouraged among the population. • During the siege of the first Paris Commune in 1795, it was potatoes that kept the people from dying of starvation, and finally potatoes became accepted as a nourishing food. • Antoine Parmentier went on to make a great many other advances as he studied things such as how to bake a better bread, make cheese, store grain, grow mushrooms, and make wine, as well as how to use corn flour, how to make sugar from beets, and how to make sea biscuits that would not spoil on long ocean voyages. • When Parmentier died in 1813, he was buried in Paris, in a plot ringed by potato plants.
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� Researchers have discovered that humans aren’t the only ones to imbibe alcohol on a egular basis. It seems that the tiny pen-tailed tree shrew makes a habit of consuming naturally fermented palm flower nectar, which has an alcohol content of 3.8 percent -comparable to that of most beers.
� I’d be very surprised if you’d ever heard of Bokassa I, former emperor of the Central African Republic. It’s interesting to note, though, that while he was on trial for infanticide, cannibalism and torture, he commented, “Being head of state is an extremely thankless job.�
â—? At 6 feet, 4 inches tall, Abraham Lincoln is the tallest president in the history of the United States.
� Filmmaker George Lucas is arguably best known for his “Star Wars� franchise, but he also directed “American Graffiti.� During the making of that earlier film he designated each reel of film with an R before the reel’s number, and each instance of dialog was prefixed with a D. At one point during the sound mixing, the sound designer needed to use Reel 2, Dialog 2, and so asked for “R2D2.� Lucas liked the sound of it so much that he used it for the name of a robot character in his later work.
� You may be among those people who think good deeds and selfless acts are on the decline. If so, consider this story: In 2010, an employee at a recycling company came across 23 U.S. savings bonds while sorting through a bin of discarded papers. Instead of trying to cash the $22,000 worth of bonds himself, Mike Rodgers decided to track down the owner. It turned out that the woman who had bought the bonds, Martha Dobbins, had been dead for almost two decades. Rodgers didn’t give up, though; he began a search for Robert Roberts, who was also named on the bonds. Though the name is common and Rodgers hit many dead ends, he eventually located the correct Robert Roberts, the son of Martha Dobbins. Roberts hadn’t even been aware of the bonds’ existence. Rodgers, his good deed finally being done, refused a reward.
â—? The next time you see a shampoo commercial and note how creamy and frothy the lather seems to be, keep this in mind: The model in the advertisement probably has either laundry detergent or frothed egg whites on her hair.
by: Samantha Weaver
� You might be surprised to learn that the largest irrigated crop in the United States isn’t soybeans, wheat or even corn; it’s grass -- mostly in lawns, parks and golf courses.
� It was noted 20th-century American novelist, short story writer and journalist Ernest Hemingway who made the following sage observation: “When you stop doing things for fun you might as well be dead.�
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In 1940, Richard and Maurice McDonald opened the first McDonald’s restaurant in San Bernardino, California. In 1955, a salesman for industrial milkshake-making machines named Ray Kroc started franchising McDonalds, resulting in the world’s most profitable fast food chain. Come along as we eat at McDonald’s! UNIVERSALLY RECOGNIZED • McDonald's is the most-visited fast food restaurant in the U.S. About 96% of Americans have visited McDonald’s at least once. They serve about 27 million Americans every day. McDonald’s is visited by 90% of American children on a monthly basis. • In 1968, McDonald’s operated about 1,000 restaurants. Today it has about 37,000 locations worldwide which is more locations than Burger King, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, and Arby’s combined. They open almost 2,000 new outlets each year. Of the 194 countries in the world, McDonald's restaurants are found in 120 of them. They serve 68 million customers worldwide each day. That's about 1% of the world’s population. • The most northerly McDonald’s restaurant is on the Arctic Circle in Rovaniemi, Finland. • The most southerly McDonald’s franchise is in Invercargill, New Zealand. • McDonald’s largest market outside the U.S is Japan, with over 3,000 restaurants. • The world’s largest McDonald’s restaurant is over 28,000 square feet and is in Beijing. • The smallest is 492 square feet in Tokyo. • The top 10 busiest McDonald’s are all in Hong Kong. • The McDonald’s in India are the only ones in the world where a person cannot buy beef. Instead, they sell lamb versions of the Big Mac, called the “Maharaja Mac.â€?
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