the T zine//sparks will fly, july '17.

the T zine

sparks will fly, july '17

I N THI S I SSUE spill the T 03 listen to this 05 out+about 06 watch this 07 dope shit 08 dive in 10 think about it 11 tastemaker 13

spi l l th e t.. . let t er f r om t h e edit or I?ve du bbed t h is year ?t h e year of pu t t in g you r self ou t t h er e.? I?ve h in der ed m yself lon g en ou gh an d k n ow t h at I n eed t o get ou t of m y ow n w ay. I w as t h e n ew gir l at w or k (st ill k in da am ) sen din g em ail su ggest ion s t o t h in gs t h at don?t n ecessar ily ?f it m y job descr ipt ion?, r each in g ou t t o people I adm ir e f or t h eir advice, an d self -pu blish in g t h is lil?zin e. We?r e in Ju ly, m idw ay t h r ou gh , an d I?m f eelin g ext r em ely pr ou d an d h u m bled w h er e I am . Bu t m ost im por t an t ly w h er e I?m goin g. Th e past t w o year s?st r u ggles f eel lik e eon s ago, even six m on t h s ago f eels lik e a blu r . It ?s alm ost lik e I lear n ed m yself all over again . Peeled of f t h e layer of n egat ivit y, depr ession , self -loat h in g, w or t h lessn ess. All m ask ed w it h a pr et t y f acade of lau gh s, adu lt bevs an d a sm or gasbor d of den ial. Lu ck ily f or m e, r igh t ar ou n d Febr u ar yish -M ar ch a spar k w as lit w it h in m e.

I began ?con n ect in g t h e dot s?, as St eve Jobs w ou ld say.

Volu n t eer in g f or Dr ess f or Su ccess br ou gh t m e back m y sen se of pu r pose. I?m a qu iet f em in ist t r yin g t o f in d m y voice, so h elpin g w om en f elt r igh t f or m e. Af t er m eet in g t h e st af f , I k n ew I w ou ldn?t r egr et it . Th ey w er e an en cou r agin g, h elpf u l, diver se gr ou p of w om en . It blew m y m in d (in a good w ay) t h at I w as h elpin g ?gr ow n -ass? w om en w it h t h eir r esu m es w h ile t w eak in g an d pu m pin g m in e ou t lik e it w as m y job. Becau se, t ech n ically it w as.

M y st r u ggles f elt lik e blessin gs com par ed t o t h eir s.

All alon g I w as also r esear ch in g t h er apist s becau se, r em em ber all t h ose layer s I ou t lin ed above, I h ave m or e issu es t h an Vogu e! Best . Decision . Ever . Sh ou t ou t t o you Pat r icia M ar t in ez! Sh e h elped w it h clar it y, peace an d r est or ed m y con f iden ce. Alt h ou gh Ju ly is syn on ym ou s w it h celebr at in g t h is n at ion?s in depen den ce, I?m celebr at in g m y ow n f r ee-f eelin g m om en t . M y h appin ess.

M y self -w or t h . M y w om an h ood. Spar k s w ill f ly, ya?ll. @m st if f alexan dr a f ou n der / edit or in ch ief

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@h appilygr ey

@t h at sch ic

@t h at sch ic

@t h at sch ic

l i sten to th i s.. .

I?m hella new to the podcast scene [insert old age joke here].

So much, so that I had no idea that they were first known as ?audioblogging.? Apparently, they've been around since the ?80s. It?s on Wikipedia, so don?t shoot the messenger. There are thousands of podcasts out there now, ranging from sports to music. Literally, can?t keep up. I?m exhausted already.

About a year ago, one of my good friends Focus (no, that?s not his gov?t name), piqued my interest when he posted his podcast, Fully Loaded w/Focus JRJ. I was hooked when I tuned in and heard how chill and funny him and Malcom?s banter was. They touched on current events, pop culture, music, relationships, and race relations. It was on a level that I could relate, not only because I know him, but because it?s coming from a genuine place. I ended up listening to just about all their episodes.

From listening to Fully Loaded I was able to watch the powerful documentary 13. If you haven?t watched it already, what are you waiting for? During the killings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, one of the episodes (EP No.24 ? Public Enemies) featured the perspective of retired Detroit police officer Ralph Godbee Jr. and author and media journalist Toure. It was

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refreshing to see the different perspectives come to light.

I'm always giving Focus feedback about the episodes and posting when I'm listening.

So, getting the invite to join them was dope. Thinking back, I have no idea what I said, but I was able to get through it with a little liquid courage.

Stay tuned on: Monday, July 10th when my episode will air.

In the meantime check out Focus and Malcolm, The IV Wave and Desus and Mero. One focuses on female empowerment and the latter is strictly for laughs.

@f ocu s_jr j @_h eym alcolm

out+about.. .

I?m definitely one of those ?jersey girls?that prides herself in that I was never a huge ?club head.?You never saw me at Pacha?s (okay, maybe once/twice), with bottle service and a slew of tight spandex dresses.

For me, X-out the spandex, bottle service, for sure. More often than not, I was that chick chillin?at low key lounges. Usually, knew the DJ, because I might have the dopest, most talented friends. Oh, and never wanted or had to pay a cover charge, because heavy eye-roll and I?m a girl (duh).

The lower east side was the ONLY place I would go to. I turned my nose to anything north of Hell?s Kitchen and if you mentioned the Heights it was definitely a ?no?for me. The thought of living near the Lincoln Tunnel and then having to trek all the way to the GW was like someone telling me I was going to the end of the world. Back then I was a cab snob and I?m old enough to say that there wasn?t Uber back then. So, yes, the LES was fast, easy, and fun.

Just like some men and women prefer each other.

The only reason I changed my no-Heights-mentality was because my friends started spinning above downtown/midtown.

I?m a creature of habit so I began to frequent the same spots. Some are still afloat today and sadly some are not. One place that?s still thriving and never lets me down is Locksmith Wine & Burger Bar. I?ve never had wine or burgers there, but I have danced and drank my tail off on many occasions. My friends rave about the food, just take a look at their menu. Your living room is probably bigger than this entire place combined, but I absolutely love it. The unpretentious environment is what keeps me coming back. My friend, DJ @hasaninsane has a Friday residency there that never disappoints. His fliers are some of the best I've seen. He's a helluva talented dude. Stop by and say hello.

@locksmithbar

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w atch th i s.. .

There are very few shows that I binge watch. My attention span is that of a 2 year old. Please, don't mention Game of Thrones to me. No, thank you. House of Cards is one of those shows that I was counting down to. The way you feel about GOT is how I feel about House of Cards.

I gravitate towards intelligently-written, contemporary shows.

Mostly dramas, but never politically based. I want my mind to spin with questions much like a toddlers'. Thank you for popping my cherry, HOC. The story lines eerily mimic our government today. Coincidence, I think not.

Kevin Spacey plays U.S. Rep. Francis "Frank" Underwood of South Carolina, married to his equal Claire Underwood. They're both powerful and influential in the most malignant, manipulative ways. Everyone is intertwined and affected down to the core. I won't spill too many beans, because it's just too good that I need you to watch.

Claire, played by Robin Wright, is spot on. The female influence and counterpart as a wife that she brings to this role speaks volumes. Utterly, immaculate. She is as brilliant and as loyal as they come even when she strays. Her vulnerability is greatly tested but she'd rather eradicate the situation much like myself.

Sincerely, I just want to be like Claire when I grow up. Minus all the vile things that she does.

In this last season, she literally and figuratively steals the show.

Frank becomes second fiddle to his wife and my inner feminist secretly did a happy dance. I'm Team Hillary, all the way, spare me your opinions. It's refreshing to see women in the highest power. I just wish being a bitch didn't come with the job description. Either way, I'm here for women empowerment.

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dope sh i t.. .

All bs aside, June has shaped up to be one of the dopest months for me. I'm on that work hard, play harder wave.

Please tell me, who gon' stop me?!

I've been on the receiving end of @digitaldumbo's event invites, but have always put them off. I'm still that girl that puts off events outside of Manhattan. I'm annoying like that sometimes. But I couldn't resist when I received the invite for a chat about diversity in the workplace and how it leads to transformational products. I RSVP'd for my coworker @karlabueno hella quick. Thanks for coming with me, girl!

Arriving at the @weareprolific offices was enough to get us enticed.

They're in a rustic, indiscreet building on the 10th floor, off of High Street, overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge.

Views on views on views. A nice, little spread of food, beer and wine, and we literally had it all.

That was nothing compared to the insight that the panel and audience divulged to us. The panelists came from, @viacom , @buzzfeed, @hautehijab and @weareprolific.

They touched on how open communication and respect for others will be what helps with the retention and thriving of a diverse group. Two necessary things that are needed to survive day-to-day life.

Take the opportunity, if you ever find yourself in the receiving end of broadening up your mindset and mingling with a few drinks.

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.. .

You ever f in d you r self w it h t h e m ost am azin g in vit e an d ju st t h in k : " t h is is t oo good t o be t r u e?" Th at w as m e w h en m y gir l @er ik ast ar sen d m e t h e @ch an don u sa in vit e. It w as a day par t y w it h an u n disclosed locat ion , on ly t o be r evealed w h en you w er e " in" an d all t h e br u t an d r ose you can in gest .

How , Sw ay?

I im m ediat ely RSVP'd m y gu y an d h oped f or t h e best . If you live in t h e NYC ar ea, you k n ow t h e w eat h er h as been clou dy w it h a ch an ce of h u m id, sh it t y, h ot , r ain .

So you w e w er e all su per h appy w h en t h e day cam e an d t h e w eat h er w as dam n n ear per f ect .

Ever y Cau casian per son r igh t of t h e M ississippi w as im pat ien t ly w ait in g w it h m e on lin e. Zer o m elan in in sigh t , I w as an xiou sly w ait in g t o m eet m y pack of diver sit y in side. Th er e w as a " Tom " in h is pr essed J.Cr ew , w oven doin g pu ll-u ps f r om t h e scaf f oldin g w e w er e st an din g u n der . Alt h ou gh , a ver y con sciou s (sober ?) f r ien d m ade it aw ar e t o h im n ot t o soil h is Su n day-best . If you cou ld on ly see m y f ace. Th an k god f or dar k -t in t ed sh ades.

Th e lin e m oved f air ly qu ick an d w e w er e w elcom ed by r ed, f loppy-h at w ear in g gir ls eager t o place t h e Ch an don clot h cr eden t ials on ou r w r ist s. We w alk ed @ch an don u sa u n der a beau t if u l w alk w ay w it h an ar c st r ew n w it h f air y ligh t s an d vin e. Th e en d w as st u n n in g view s of t h e w at er an d an open gr assy-ar ea w it h so m u ch ch am pagn e you cou ld pr obably die.

Not su r e if it w as t h e ch am pagn e h igh or w h at , bu t I'm st ill r avin g abou t t h at even t . Th e DJ played f air ly good m u sic t h at k ept t h e vibes f low in g. M y cr ew of st u n n in g gir ls w er e t h e M elan in -lif e-of -t h e-par t y. On e w as even du bbed " Qu een of t h e M elan in Squ ad."

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di v e i n.. .

I nspo' f or th ose of us w h o prob ab l y don't w ant to b e i n sw i msui ts, b ut w ant to l ook b eauti f ul regardl ess.

M an dalay BIk in i

Tr opican a On e Piece Sh elly Bik in i

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Su n set On e Piece

tastemak er.. .

The "year of put yourself out there" comes with brutal honesty with myself. This issue's tastemaker is unlike all the others I?ve written about. She is someone most influential. Most loved. Most important.

Mom, this one's for you.

Very, very few people don't know that I lived in DR until I was about four years old. My mom was in the US, while I was under the watch of my dad and his amazing family. A group of people that I don't give enough credit to for shaping my small mind and providing a loving, fun childhood. I stayed there, while mom handled visa kinks and all the fun paperwork that comes along with it. Can you imagine leaving your first born? I can't. Well I almost did, but more on that in a later issue.

Fortunately, I don't remember much except for specific memories. Most documented through photographs. Good and bad. The product of being the first born. One memory sticks out from the bunch. It's depicted in a series of photos.

Probably, four-year-old me, sitting defeated, heartbroken on a chair because my mom was leaving me again.

I remember way more than that, though.

Didn't think I did until a therapy session.

Those early memories left a slight resentment toward her. Inevitably, a deeper connection with my dad. And loads to deal with in my future. All repressed because the annoying people-pleaser in me would appease your feelings rather than facing my own.

However, those repressed feelings came

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into ahead when I saw my mom lose her mom.

She was the only child of a single mom.

Never met my grandfather, only knowing him through bittersweet stories told from her. My grandma never remarried and lived with us our entire lives. I can see my mom?s opinionated ways come from my grandma. Mom being a lot fierier than grandma, packed a lot of punch throughout the years. Aside from the strong demeanor, my mom is quite possibly the most generous person there is. ?Just because?gifts are a regular gesture. Selfless doesn?t measure up.

Becoming a mom made me appreciate her that much more. So, clichĂŠ, but true. It made me let go of all the bad memories, forgiven but never forgotten. I knew that ?leaving me? took my mom much more strength than my toddler self could understand. My subconscious was speaking to me when it aided me in keeping Anthony. It took me years to understand that.

My fashion and beauty sense comes from my mom. Just check out her Instagram feed! My mom was that kid who sewed her own outfits. And did her own makeup and hair to the nines. She will never leave the house looking a hot mess and made sure that was ingrained in me as a young girl. Even as a youngster I was always looking my best. I will be forever grateful for those small lessons.

I can?t end this without giving her countless props for being an amazing wife.

My dad is a lucky, lucky man. I never wanted to get married until recent years and I?ve slowly realized that their marriage has a lot to do with it. They?ve gone through it all and managed to come out stronger. They?re an amazing team, most recently, mending a heartbreaking time with my younger brother. Now that is what I call an example of an amazing foundation.

So, mom, July is your

month. I mean, every month is your month, my Leo Queen. You are just like your favorite flower, the sunflower.

Symbolically loyal, full of adoration and longevity.

Might I add, incredibly beautiful. A million thank yous will never be enough.

Happiest of Birthdays!

Top: Young mom.

Middle: Little me w/mom.

Bottom: Stylish mom.

@msmattydiva

th i nk about i t.. .

The last time I checked we were in the year 2017, or are we? How is it that some of my closest friends still believe in solely depending on their significant other to financially support them? I don?t live with my guy (yet) and don't plan to adopt that way of thinking when the time comes. I'm grateful that he?s quick to pay for dinner and drinks. But the more it happens the more I feel like I have no choice but to reach for my wallet, too. Right? Dinner and drinks isn?t the same as day to day responsibilities, but it should be. Why not split everything down the middle?

Why does the guy have to pay, even when he ?doesn?t give you a choice??

You have a choice girl, start taking out that Michael Kors wallet. Obviously, I have deep-rooted dependency issues that I?m working through.

Growing up in a home where the matriarch took center stage has a lot of influence. My mom was never the damsel in distress. If anything, she taught me to get mine, no matter what.

Mind you, my parents have been married for as long as I?ve been alive, working it out with nothing but balance.

Or trying to at least.

I have a lot of questions when it comes to solely depending on someone. Is my name on the lease/deed, light/electric/cable bills? And how are you okay with just sitting back while someone else takes the brunt of the household bills? Did you know that the number one cause for divorce is money troubles? One more thing, where is this

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man and would he mind being in a polyamorous relationship with my guy and me?

Let me be clear in stating that ?life? does happen. You can find yourself jobless and depending on your partner or family to help ends meet.

I?m not talking about that.

It?s the people who, in their own minds, justify this nonchalant way of depending on others.

Whatever happened to equality? My inner feminist is shaking her head as we speak. I discussed this with one of my lesbian friends and was incredibly shocked when she said ?a lady should be treated a certain way.?

One of my guy?s friends has this theory that he gives money to women when they do something for him. Um, sir, are you dating or running a brothel?

Completely unacceptable behavior for anyone to display. He?s just one of the reasons why I feel strongly about this.

Apparently, there is an unsaid rule that women are damsel?s in distress. Am I being too harsh? Reading into it too much? No, no I?m not. And yes, I did answer

my own question.

But there?s hope! One of friend's has the seemingly fair marriage I aspire to have one day. She is an intelligent, independent, woman that is proud to have a balanced marriage. And isn't afraid to say so. I know that everyone is different, I just aspire more for myself and the strong women around me. Don't be a sheep.

@t h egir lm ob

th eTzi ne

getth eTzi ne

END.