Pink (February 2018)

iSSue160∫ feBruary2018

Starting afresh in Africa But leavin a dauhter Behind

WILD WEDDINGS Anything but white

From pharmacy to full-time dancer Meet a MeMBer of the national dance coMpany

INSIDE

February 2018

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FEATURES

REGULARS

14 PrivateEye out of Malta Uprooting to Africa 20 LoveLife here come the brides?

Black gowns and cowboy boots 24 LifeStyle websites, weddings and women Making the planning less of a nightmare

9 EditorsNote 10 MailShot 29 WomanKind forgotten diva Pauline Viardot 31 ThinkPink beauty & fashion 53 HomeMaker throwing away too much 10 ways to be less wasteful 55 GirlTalk delayed emotional reactions – are they for real?

Laws of attraction 60 TableTalk melting moments Chocolate mint tart 63 WomenOnWheels sleek and sporty Jaguar E-Pace 65 SnapShot carmen, the stranger in every one of us Florinda Camilleri

FASHION 34 ShowStopper jewel in the city Letting the colour back in 44 FashionStory message in a blog Grazielle Camilleri finds the right balance

HEALTH & BEAUTY 51 ParentingTips crushed by a crush Helping children cope with love let-downs

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COVER Photography Stephen B. Spiteri ∫ Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] ∫ Hair Penelope @ Toni&Guy ∫ Make-up Amanda Greaves, using Flormar ∫ Location Casa Brimula Boutique Hotel, Bormla ∫ Model Biljana @ Supernova MM, wearing dress, Oasis.

6 ∫ Pink February 2018

NAXXAR ROAD, SAN GWANN, 2138 7495 @mimi.okfashion

EDITORSNOTE Nowadays, I’m never short of something new to whinge and write about in this page. But in the end, is it really that new, or is it just more of the same in different packaging, and how negative can you be?

So, I thought, I’d park for another issue the story about my recent spat with a policeman and what it stands for in the bigger picture. Instead of labouring my point, I’d simply focus on the contents of this issue – the Valentine’s edition, if you will.

But round as I go about the subject, I can’t help but think how much it just isn’t me…

Romance is not my thing. When someone mentions the word ‘romantic’, I tend to cringe.

I recently experienced some genuine loveydoveyness being lived to the full. And because it was so sincere, and is in itself such a good thing, I could deal with it. But whenever the subject turned to me, and I was faced with that burning question about ‘how we met’, I had to make a serious effort to recount the story, not only because it’s been asked countless times, but also because it is beyond me to inject the romance that is expected to ooze out of my narration – without cringing.

Coincidentally, in GirlTalk on page 55, the subject – that particular burning question – is also broached. While a man answered it with complete indifference, and this seems to have been considered strange/demeaning, it was assumed that his former wife, the woman, would have been upset by that and would have answered in a different, probably more ‘uncool’ and attached, way.

Yes, I may be reading too much into it, but let’s just say it was food for thought. How is it that we continue to draw these stereotypical divides between men and women; divides that tend to put females [especially the ‘poor wives’] in the weaker position, craving the attention of men?

While there are clearly differences between us, they could well be the opposite of how they are traditionally perceived. The hopeless romantics and the starry-eyed are not always and only the women, while the men remain cool, calm, calculated and quite aloof.

The story about wedding ceremonies with a difference in LoveLife on page 20 shows both bride and groom immersing themselves into the romance and organisation of an original – to put it mildly – event to make their marriage day memorable in more ways than one for themselves, for their guests – and now for our readers too.

The common denominator lies in the significance to these couples of how they first met, and how both man and woman chose to rekindle and relive that moment on their wedding night.

Other than that, however, the big days of the metalhead couple and the country music fans couldn’t have been more different from each other – and from the traditional white wedding, for that matter – not just in their taste for music.

With brides in solid black and blood-red touches for a Victorian/Gothic look, or cowboy boots and plaid shirts, with the word ‘Wifey’ printed on the back, they took the idea of a theme to a whole new level, and ran with it…

Which brings me to Carnival, happening as we speak, but really, a year-round event. We Maltese seem to have a closet love for costumes [as opposed to ordinary clothes], and every occasion is jumped on to justify their use. Only recently, we were regaled with the full Monty at the Eurovision Song Contest, where, in 2018, contestants still chose to wear hideous, unflattering, fancy dress, instead of simple, cool clothes, with horrendously heavy make-up that is best suited for a man in drag.

Yes, it is also this appalling dress sense that makes us who we are. It’s the grotesque, which spills over from the Carnival floats even into a song contest, and epitomises the Malta we live in.

And there you have it – the usual whinge, to end my editorial with more of the same, just in different packaging.

February 11, 2018 ∫ Pink is a monthly magazine ∫ Issue 160 ∫ Executive editor Fiona Galea Debono ∫ Publisher Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Printing Progress Press Ltd ∫ Production Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Contributors Maria Cachia, Mary Galea Debono, Amanda Greaves, Marisa Grima, Penelope, Stephanie Satariano, Lara Sierra, Antoinette Sinnas, Pippa Toledo, Virginia ∫ Design Manuel Schembri ∫ Photography Jonathan Borg, Matthew Mirabelli, Stephen B. Spiteri, Mark Zammit Cordina ∫ Advertising sales Veronica Grech Sant [2276 4333; veronica.grechsant@timesofmalta.com].

THIS PUBLICATION IS BEING DISTRIBUTED AS PART OF:

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Pink February 2018 ∫ 9

MAILsho

THE LETTER THAT TICKLED Pı NO MIDDLE ROAD Dear editor, I was born with a chemical imbalance and diagnosed at a much later stage in life with bipolar disorder. It’s called that because it has two sides to it: one that is extremely high and one that is extremely low. In a nutshell, the road in between does not exist. Thank God that, today, with medication, one can gain that inner balance, which is much needed to make tough decisions, take a stand and continue with life. Meditation too has helped me a great deal, especially when my thoughts are racing at I don’t know how many miles an hour. It isn’t easy to accept this, or any other type of condition, be it mental, or physical. By accepting that I needed help because my life had become unmanageable, I started my way to recovery. I also found very helpful the bipolar self-help group, which has given me that extra oomph to come out of my comfort zone. There is nothing shameful in asking for help. Thank you, Pink.

GRACE ATTARD HEDLEY, FROM QORMI

The writer of the letter of the month wins a YSL Y eau de toilette for men; a manicure; PLUS a selection of Diego Dalla Palma make-up products, all from Chemimart.

AT THEIR MERCY Month after month, I await Pink magazine, which inspires me a lot. In the June issue, the EditorsNote really struck a chord. Why do customers have to be at the mercy of service providers? They make you change all your work schedule and appointments because they are coming to do the job, and then, no one appears, or they do show up, but don’t finish it, leaving you waiting day after day and worse off than you were before. And what about parking?

How many times do we come across people who don’t think of what could happen to residents if they parked outside our homes, or so close to their cars that they can’t drive out. I hope this letter will at least make us learn from our own mistakes. Thank you to the editor.

CARMEN APAP, FROM PIETÀ

TOUGH HEROINES Dear Pink, your adverts and bright red shots about Valentine’s Day [2017] made me feel all gooey and sentimental inside. But when I have an issue of Pink in my hands, I always first look out for the article about that particular figure, who has left an indelible mark in history [WomanKind]. One such article was I Shot the Duce [February 2017 ]. And it captivated me as soon as I started reading it. You see, the Duce, or Benito Mussolini, is a distant, bleary figure for most of us. I knew some small facts about him in the context of World War II, but I didn’t know he met such a dramatic end. Thanks to you, Pink, my curiosity was stirred enough for me to look up more information about him. But never had I heard of Violet Gibson and her attempt on the Duce’s life. Looking at her photo, I made her out to be a frail, meek, old lady. But she must have had great guts to beat all the hardship and abandonment in her life… I really enjoy reading about these tough heroines, who made history when conditions were not so favourable towards the female sex.

Nonetheless, they did leave a great name behind.

ROBERTA J. GRECH, FROM SWIEQI

LOVE CONQUERS ALL Dear editor, while complementing you for giving us so much information in Pink, one story has touched me right in my heart. The courage Gertrude showed for her daughter Maya fills me with pride. As a mother, I can imagine the pain she went through, seeing her, at such a tender age, battling to control [her food intake]; explaining what was good for her and what Maya couldn’t have. It must have taken a lot of love and patience.

But in the end, all her efforts paid off, seeing Maya as a teenager, full of life and happy to be like the rest of her family. Thank you, Gertrude, for the lesson in love you gave to all us mothers. Love truly conquers all. God bless you both.

MARLENE CASSAR, FROM TA’ XBIEX

wrıte ı AND WIN

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PRIVATEEYE Christine Xuereb Seidu and her family in Malta.

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PRIVATEEYE

Out of Y Malta LARA SIERRA talks to Christine Xuereb Seidu about her decision to up and leave for a new life in Ghana… without one of her daughters.

ou cannot explain Africa.

To visit is to have all senses overwhelmed in one breath.

Cattle bells ring on street corners and sunset-red dust scatters from taxis hurtling past. Women swathed in rainbow-coloured cloth sway with baskets of fish atop their heads, while others in their stilettos and trouser suits prance down the street. But if for a moment, you stop and look up, in the sun-drenched sky you’ll see the swoop of a lonesome African Eagle and hear its desolate cry.

This description does not do Africa justice. No magazine, book, or Hollywood blockbuster can truly describe it. Africa is simply the essence of life, unlike anywhere else on Earth. The only way to really understand it is to live it. The next best thing would be to somehow absorb someone else’s experience.

And someone has just put hers down in words. Art gallerist Christine Xuereb Seidu realised that a woman’s most honest sanctuary is her diary, and she has been publishing her own in her blog Documenting Ghana since moving to its northern region just a few months ago.

She lives there now, with her husband and five-year-old child, after leaving what she describes as a complicated web of racism and corruption in Malta – as well as another 13-year-old daughter.

“I met my Ghanaian husband in Malta in 2010,” Christine begins. “He owned a shop in Msida. We got married in 2011, but due to family issues, we had to marry in secret.”

Members of her family didn’t really acknowledge their relationship, she explains cautiously. To begin with, they had a good relationship with her husband, but then everything changed. “That’s ultimately why we moved,” she says.

People listen to people too much, unfortunately, Christine points out. “It happens a lot in Malta; people are very influenced by what others are saying.

Maltese families are so close that parents often try to convince their children to live how they want them to live. It’s overpowering.

“After all this,” she says, sounding slightly exasperated, “I had a bit of a wake-up call. It wasn’t just members of Pink February 2018 ∫ 15

PRIVATEEYE my family; I started noticing it everywhere. Eventually, we found we just couldn’t take the racism in Malta anymore. We decided that we would rather live happily somewhere else than go on suffering like this.

“There was racism both against him and against us as a couple. I felt it more, because when I was with him, I could see that people were treating us differently,” she adds.

Christine pauses, her gentle tone visibly shifting as she continues. “I raised my eldest daughter [from her first husband, who is Nigerian] by myself. I have been a single mother since 2004, with no support. People judge you a lot as a single mother, but it was the racism that really bothered me. A lot of Maltese mixed-race families often break up.”

Once they decided to leave, Christine says she went through the legal channels to ask how to go about

Sade and Azara.

“WHAT I DON’T LIKE IS THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS DECIDED MY DAUGHTER’S FUTURE WHEN I HAVE BEEN HER SOLE CARER ALL THESE YEARS. WITH ALL THIS CORRUPTION, IT WAS JUST ANOTHER REASON FOR WANTING TO LEAVE”

taking her eldest daughter with her, but, she claims, obstacles were created “to make it seem as though we were planning to leave without my exhusband knowing…

“We went to court in August and I assumed we would win…,” Christine says, claiming that the spokes in the wheels were set in motion to “stop my daughter from leaving with me in the hope that I wouldn’t leave Malta myself.

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“But obviously, I wasn’t going to let that happen. So now, my daughter is with my mother and I support her with the little I have. It’s not easy, but thanks to Skype, we manage to communicate very often.”

It makes for difficult reading, doesn’t it? The lies, the deceit, the warring family… leaving a child behind.

The difficulty of that decision can be seen in Christine’s eyes. But is this only

a short-term solution? “I’m waiting until 2019, as my daughter’s passport is held with the police for a whole year. Then I hope to try again with the courts… Nothing made sense,” she claims, referring to the first time around.

Christine is hoping things may change, but she also knows her daughter is getting a good education in Malta. “So,” she pauses, “I suppose I don’t mind.

What I don’t like is that someone else has decided my daughter’s future when I have been her sole carer all these years. With all this corruption, it was just another reason for wanting to leave.”

As for actually getting away: “We didn’t tell anyone; we put our things in a container and got ready to go. We couldn’t even tell my mother… so the family only found out when my husband sold his business. He left a few months earlier, so that when I arrived with our younger daughter, we could settle in straight away.”

Christine suddenly smiles. “My youngest is really enjoying it over here,” she says. “She’s at school and has the freedom to play and get dirty; not just hang around the house and get bored.

She and her friends play in our small street, with all the neighbours around.”

The conversation turns to her blog, which details a mix of the mundane that all families across the world can relate to, such as cooking, picking kids up from school and frustrations with transport. Yet interspersed within that normality are descriptions and photos of a culture completely foreign to ours, and her trial-and-error approach to embracing it; what should be worn at local celebrations and feasts; and translations of cooking rituals from her mother-in-law, for example, who, incidentally, and unusually for Ghana, speaks no English.

Ironically, despite the fact that the official language is English, with so many cultural differences, Christine often finds that being fully understood is still a problem. “I am learning my mother-in-law’s tribal language,” she says. “It’s also good to be able to greet people in their language; it shows that

PRIVATEEYE

A visit from some women at the family compound.

Sunday lunch with expats in Ghana.

I am making an effort to fit into the community.

“We live in my husband’s family compound, and around us is a lot of farmland, mainly cattle and crops.

My husband has seven acres of land on which he farms, as well as other businesses. As for myself, I teach at an academy where they encourage entrepreneurship. Ghana is an entrepreneurial country; jobs are hard to come by so people tend to create their own.”

Christine talks also about the similarities between Ghana and Malta.

“I’m actually seeing too many similarities, including partisan politics and corruption,” she says, adding that “if someone witnesses a crime such as theft, they will take it upon themselves to give the thief a good beating, because the police here are mostly corrupt and accept bribes.”

As for her day-to-day routine: Christine gets around by catching a nahi – a three-wheeled taxi, more commonly known as a tuk-tuk. “On my way home from work, I stop at the market and buy what I need. It’s hard to find most things I’d use back in Malta, but I am slowly discovering places. Otherwise, I’m cooking and eating mostly Ghanaian dishes.

There isn’t much to do around here, but with all the activities, weddings, festivals, naming ceremonies, you’re never bored.”

A woman’s voice interrupts our FaceTime conversation. She can faintly

“THERE ISN’T MUCH TO DO AROUND HERE, BUT WITH ALL THE ACTIVITIES, WEDDINGS, FESTIVALS, NAMING CEREMONIES, YOU’RE NEVER BORED” be heard asking to be friends with Christine and numbers are swapped. I brace myself. My experience of living in Africa taught me that Christine should grab her things and run. But no, this woman takes down her number and lends Christine a phone charger before cheerily carrying on her way.

“Making friends here is way too easy,” she says. “This happens a lot, and children often call out: ‘White lady, how are you?’ I have met some inspiring people at my work too and I’m grateful to the expat community; we meet once a week. I’ve always been interested in different cultures, so even just walking around the markets every day is exciting. The way people dress, the way they sell their stuff…” She drifts off, smiling at the thought.

So, is she happy in what could be an alien world for many? Christine nods.

“I’m happy. I’ve never had any problems here, although there are still some cultural differences to overcome. But I have planned long term, so I’m investing in it. What happens next, I don’t know…

I’m hoping that at least my daughter will come and stay with us in summer and then perhaps go back for school.

I don’t see why not,” she says hopefully.

“If she can spend three months with us here, I’m just hoping for that…”

Christine looks warmly at her surroundings, but despite her

happiness, you can sense what keeps pulling her back. “I always wanted to move to Africa,” she says. “I just thought it would have been after the kids would have gone to school; once they had graduated, they could have moved here if they wanted to. It just didn’t work out.

I mean, I’m happy as well; it’s just… it’s my eldest daughter. So long as I can have those three months a year with her, at least. For her education, it’s better that she’s over there anyway. And maybe when she’s 18, she can decide, as universities are good here too.”

The torment of a mother separated from her child is hard to ignore. Yet here she is, making the best of her new life and laying it all bare in her blog. Scrolling through her posts, you can see her strength, not least to brave the dreaded judgement of internet trolls.

As the conversation ends, Christine quickly spins the camera around to show the street in front of her. There it is, enigmatic and indescribable. The red dust roads and fresh, barely dried concrete buildings; a strange mix of poverty and money, nature and city, all in one focus of a camera lens.

It’s pointless trying to explain its mystifying allure. Just go. Or if not, read Christine’s blog. www.documentingghana.wordpress.com

Pink February 2018 ∫ 17

LOVELIFE Ritian and Carmel Fenech Lauria

HERE COME THE BRIDES? From solid black gowns to cowboy boots, Gothic to burlap bunting, erotic skeleton cake toppers to sunflower wands, heavy metal to country music classics, these unconventional brides did it their way.

ANTOINETTE SINNAS witnesses some of the most original – and contrasting – ways to wed.

W

hen we think of a typical wedding, we generally imagine white gowns, stilettos and glittering tiaras. Well, here come the brides who have veered from tradition, each putting a sizeable dent in conventional stereotypes and embracing their distinct styles and personalities.

While their focus was marrying the men of their dreams, these adventurous brides also had their eye on a particular theme. They wanted to celebrate their wedding day in their own unique way – and make it memorable for more reasons than one.

RITIAN AND CARMEL FENECH LAURIA HEADBANG IN HARMONY This was no pure white wedding for metalheads and rockers at heart, Ritian and Carmel. To say they didn’t want to follow trends is an understatement; and they could 20 ∫ Pink February 2018

possibly be the first Maltese couple to have chosen a Victorian-slash-Gothic theme for their big day, characterised by solid black colours, crimson and touches of gold.

Their story is like the script of a rom com. After knowing each other for almost two decades as friends and swearing neither of them would ever marry, Cupid’s arrow struck Ritian and Carmel and the two were smitten. A year on, they decided to get hitched.

They chose a venue that synchronised perfectly with the theme: Castello dei Baroni in the picturesque Wardija countryside, dating back to 1783 and featuring stone walls, high ceilings, wrought-iron chandeliers and a spiral staircase, was the ideal canvas for their memories.

And so, it all began when Ritian walked down the aisle, escorted by her dad’s best friend to I Believe by Manowar. Her bridesmaids wore flowing, floor-length, black chiffon dresses and killer boots, each holding a single red rose. And the bride flaunted her feminine curves with a voluminous Victorian/Gothic gown. With

cascading ruffles, long sleeves and a modest corset, the damsel completed her look with a black studded headband and crystal chandelier earrings. She crafted her own bouquet from scraps of curtain trimmings and lace, and at the centre of it was something she held close to her heart – her mum’s gold buttons.

“TO TOP OFF THE CELEBRATION, THE PAIR CUT THROUGH THE CAKE WITH A SWORD” “The only wish I had was that my parents were still alive to experience the wedding with us. My mum never thought I’d ever get married,” says Ritian.

The dramatic colour palette made its way around the venue. Black and gold fabric petals were scattered over the crimson aisle runner. Dye-dipped tablecloths had a touch of glitz, with red diamanté and gold petals strewn over them. Faux silk floral displays filled the venue and bleeding red pillar candles flickered in the night, creating, coupled with the cold winter’s night, a spooktacular scene.

The cake was a surprise for the bride and Neriku Caterering created a three-tier fondant fantasy on a black laced plateau, topped with a bunch of black roses and skeletons entwined in an erotic embrace. The flavours chosen were a decadent red velvet and a devilishly good Baci chocolate. To top off the celebration, the pair cut through the cake with a sword.

The couple’s original – to put it mildly – ideas continued to make their way round the venue. Black goblets, overflowing with deep red sparkling wine, were used for the toast, looking like something straight out of a Harry Potter movie. And the colour code even crept into the menu, with black and red caviar canapés and German black mini buns, filled with pulled pork.

Ritian and Carmel blew their guests away with their ‘gothilcious’ affair. And of course, their taste in music played a big part, with the newlyweds selecting the best heavy metal and rock anthems for the DJ to spin.

Sealing their dream for eternity and in keeping with the blood-red theme, they have even inked their love on their bodies with wedding ring tattoos.

Photography Robert De Carlo

Pink February 2018 ∫ 21

LOVELIFE

Xer and Neil Law

XER AND NEIL LAW REKINDLE THEIR COUNTRY CLASSICS COURTSHIP Like many epic love stories, Xer and Neil’s happened at first sight. Having met at a karaoke bar, the two ‘harmonised’ to one of their favourite country numbers. His smouldering eyes met her intense gaze and that palpable chemistry led them to this joyous day.

A farmhouse in the middle of nowhere was just the right setting for Xer and Neil’s country wedding. With fields as far as the eye could see, rolling into the sunset, the tranquillity of Mgarr was pure magic for the couple and their guests, creating the perfect backdrop for the lovebirds.

Illuminated with candlelit Mason jars, and featuring wine barrel centrepieces and burlap bunting, the rustic décor was in perfect harmony with the natural setting.

The couple even forwent traditional seating and had cosy blanket-covered hay bales.

Xer and Neil exchanged vows in a symbolic ceremony among family and close friends. The tissue-grabbing moment occurred when Xer walked down the aisle, escorted by her mum to This is the Moment from her favourite TV show Nashville.

As for her look, a wreath of flowers crowned her tousled mane and she clasped a wand of sunflowers, bearing her grandfather’s locket. Wearing a lace high-low 22 ∫ Pink February 2018

gown, it was Xer’s lucky cowboy boots, given to her by Neil, that were the icing on the unconventional ensemble. As the night grew fresher, Xer added a rustic flavour to her look, sporting a red plaid shirt, labelled ‘Wifey’.

Her bridesmaids wore breezy knee-length chiffon dresses in emerald green as a true nod to nature. Sporting white lacy pumps and cropped denim jackets, they certainly didn’t fall for the cookie-cutter style of bridesmaid looks.

“WEARING A LACE HIGH-LOW GOWN, IT WAS XER’S LUCKY COWBOY BOOTS, GIVEN TO HER BY NEIL, THAT WERE THE ICING ON THE UNCONVENTIONAL ENSEMBLE. AS THE NIGHT GREW FRESHER, XER ADDED A RUSTIC FLAVOUR TO HER LOOK, SPORTING A RED PLAID SHIRT, LABELLED ‘WIFEY’” Meanwhile, the men were glad they got to do without a suit for once, thanks to the laidback dress code. As for the women, they didn’t have to haul a pair of flats, or flipflops, to change into from those killer heels and, instead, they wore comfortable footwear from the get-go.

The newlyweds added more warmth to the evening when they had their guests cosy up to a toasty bonfire, the crackling of the flames filtering through the sound

of laughter and merriment under a canopy of stars. The guests even got to indulge in roasting marshmallows, which added more fun to the unique celebration.

With the flames in full gear, Neriku Catering served a barbecue buffet, while a cascading, three-tier, red-velvet cake, perched on a tree stump, had an adorable cake topper silhouetting a bride, a groom and their dog.

Xer and Neil were prepared with standby tents and a marquee just in case the weather gods played spoilsport.

Xer confessed it was her only worry, which made her anxious in the run-up to the big day. But luck was on their side, the skies were clear and the only clouds in sight weren’t there to usher in a storm, but to add a tint of colour to the perfect sunset.

Music was an important element at the ceremony and the timeless medleys helped them express their feelings.

Catchy country classics played later in the evening really set the grove as the guests took to the dancefloor. The duo created the ultimate country playlist from all-time favourites by Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash to more recent numbers by Blake Shelton, Thomas Rhett and Chris Stapleton.

Neil strummed his guitar and Xer added to the acoustics with a tambourine, both singing their hearts away. It was as though they were reliving the moment they first met.

Photography Claire Farrugia

Pink February 2018 ∫ 23

LIFESTYLE

W

ith everything from fresh food and fine wine to university and even adoptive children available online, it’s no surprise that weddings are going hi-tech too. The most successful online businesses recognise that women are the driving force when it comes to choosing suppliers for the big day. Here’s which websites are doing what, why and how.

Creationsbyhs.com Fran Sultana Hillyer was inspired to start her company when she got married to Glenn, who is also her business partner. The couple could not find any decent props for the wedding.

“That is when we designed and customised our first ‘LOVE’ marquee sign,” she says, adding that it has been one of the most requested so far. The company aims to give clients more than the “usual imported items”.

“AS MUCH AS I BELIEVE THAT IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO, WOMEN SEEM TO HAVE A STRONGER VISION AS TO WHAT THEY ARE AFTER FOR THEIR BIG DAY” One of their latest props is a marquee sign with the Maltese word ‘imhabba’.

“Being able to create and handle special requests for particular themes and decoration is always a wonderful experience for us,” she says.

Fran takes care of research, marketing and replying to clients’ requests, while Glenn does most of the manufacturing, with a helping hand from friends and family members on occasion.

The business started three years ago, with items such as customised make-up mirrors for salons, but has been focusing more on weddings in the last 18 months.

Fran agrees that women are key purchase decision-makers. “As much as I believe that it takes two to tango, women seem to have a stronger 24 ∫ Pink February 2018

WEBSITES, WEDDINGS AND WOMEN HELEN RAINE speaks to three companies that are providing services to make the wedding dream a little less nightmarish to plan.

LIFESTYLE Fran Sultana Hillyer, Alberta Lia and Charlene Debattista.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 25

LIFESTYLE

vision as to what they are after for their big day.”

She says that running a small business is a challenge, but the reward is positive feedback. “Looking at stunning photos from couples displaying our props is definitely the best part.”

Exclusivecreations.eu Charlene Debattista got the idea for her wedding stationary and gifts website from her hobby, making home-made cards for family and friends.

“THAT IS WHEN I FELT I WAS GOING TO BE WORKING ON SOMETHING THAT I LOVE WITH SO MUCH PASSION” “One idea led to another. I had just opened my own graphic design company and this concept … gave me the extra push to take the business a step further,” she says.

Charlene started off small, but when she got the opportunity to participate in a wedding fair, that was the turning point. “We began getting very positive 26 ∫ Pink February 2018

feedback. That is when I felt I was going to be working on something that I love with so much passion!”

Exclusive Creations now handles everything from small commissions for parties to weddings needing 1,500 invitations. “We have created invitations for both the local and overseas markets, including large weddings being held abroad in Dubai, the US and other countries.

“Starting off from scratch in this industry and working my way up to doing prestigious events is what I consider to be successful growth,” Charlene says.

Gethitched.com.mt Getting your wedding ducks in a row can feel impossible. It always seems like the caterer is booked when the venue is free, and you can’t pin down the mixologist for any of your possible dates.

These challenges are what inspired Jonathan Azzopardi and partner Ben Vincenti to create Get Hitched. The website is an innovative new concept that allows couples to find the right vendor, for the right price, on the date that they need them.

“This online tool removes the hassles from wedding planning, and having to

hop from place to place to check availability, or to get quotes for different wedding products,” says Ben. Users are presented with a list of wedding services, including venues, transport, catering, drinks, photography, dress hire, music, florists and hairstylists. Then they answer a series of short questions to get quotes and dates.

The duo works with two women, Alberta Lia and Maureen Camilleri, and spent a lot of time validating their ideas with female family and friends to make sure they were on the right track.

Alberta is the sales executive and account manager, and Ben says this was the hardest position to fill. “Our greatest success has been the formation and growth of our team, which has really developed into a strong, productive and effective workforce,” he adds.

The team has big plans: “The system is web-based, so basically, the whole world is our oyster. This concept could be replicated anywhere in the world with ease. In the future, we may also be in a position to sell the concept as a franchise. Get Hitched has been built to scale globally from the word go.”

WOMANKIND

FORGOTTEN

diva

In spite of all her musical success, Pauline Viardot’s fame faded considerably after her death in 1910, and today, she is a forgotten diva. Although in recent years, attempts have been made to revive her musical compositions, today, MARY GALEA DEBONO finds it is only the music connoisseur who associates her name with 19th-century opera.

A

pril 16, 1849, was the opening night, in Paris, of Meyerbeer’s Le Prophète. That this opera was an immediate success was mainly due to the brilliant interpretation that Pauline Viardot gave in her role as Fidès, which had been expressly written for her.

Among those who packed the theatre for the premiere was the French composer Hector Berlioz, who, impressed by her performance, wrote in his review that Pauline “displayed a dramatic talent which no one… believed her to possess”. Another outstanding personality from among the musical circle, who attended the performance, was Chopin.

He had such a high opinion of the singer that, notwithstanding the fact that he was very sick, he dragged himself to the theatre to hear her. Six months later, he was dead.

The success Pauline achieved in this performance had a great impact both on the development of her career as well as on her life on a personal level. She had always strongly believed that for an artist, art should come first. Success confirmed that belief; life became a struggle between her career on one side and her passions and emotions on the other. Faced with a choice between her music and her family, she often chose the first. April Fitzlyon, her biographer, understood the underlying tension in Pauline’s life; she called her book The Price of Genius.

Pauline was born in 1821. She was the youngest daughter of Manuel and Joaquina Garcia, who had left Spain and settled in Paris in 1807. Both parents were talented singers; Manuel, much admired by Rossini, was himself also a composer of minor operas. Her elder brother, also called Manuel, became a renowned teacher of singing, while her sister, the legendary soprano Maria Malibar, was considered a genius and had, in her short life – she died at the age of 27 after falling from her horse – so captivated every audience wherever she performed that she had come to symbolise the spirit of the Romantic Age. Unlike her sister, Pauline had a very close relationship with her father, who doted on her. This was perhaps because there was a gap of several years between her and

Pauline Viardot in the title role of Gluck’s opera Orphée in 1860.

“MUSIC WAS NOT PAULINE’S ONLY TALENT. SHE WAS EXTRAORDINARILY INTELLIGENT; SHE WAS GOOD AT DRAWING AND SHE SPOKE SEVERAL LANGUAGES FLUENTLY. HER PERSONALITY – A STRANGE COMBINATION OF SERIOUSNESS AND VIVACITY – CHARMED EVERYONE WHO KNEW HER. ABOVE ALL, SHE HAD A GREAT DRAMATIC PRESENCE, WHICH MESMERISED HER AUDIENCE”

her siblings. For the father, Pauline remained his little girl.

When he died at the age of 57, the mother took charge of her musical education.

Pauline displayed a musical talent from a very early age.

Music was in her genes; it was not just an emotional or intellectual affinity. As a pianist, she showed great promise, and several outstanding composers of the moment such as Liszt, who for a time was also her piano teacher, were impressed by her skill. In 1836, after her singing debut in Brussels, the poet Alfred de Musset, after praising her Pink February 2018 ∫ 29

WOMANKIND technique and artistry, wrote: “She possesses… the great secret of artists: before expressing something, she feels it.

She does not listen to her voice but to her heart…” Pauline only reluctantly gave up the piano when her mother decided that she would be more successful as a singer. It was a momentous decision.

Music was not Pauline’s only talent. She was extraordinarily intelligent; she was good at drawing and she spoke several languages fluently. Her personality – a strange combination of seriousness and vivacity – charmed everyone who knew her. Above all, she had a great dramatic presence, which mesmerised her audience.

Pauline had only one disadvantage; unlike her sister, she was very plain. Ugliness is always a drawback for a stage career. Yet hers was an attractive ugliness described by some as “exotic” and by others as “original”.

Pauline’s singing career took her to all the major European theatres. In London, she sang for Queen Victoria.

Famous composers like Gounod and Rossini, great painters like Delacroix and Ingres and writers like Dickens and Henry James all fell under her spell.

Present at her Paris debut was the writer George Sand, whose open relationship with Chopin had caused a stir in Parisian society. They were introduced to each other and a friendship was born, blossomed and endured. Pauline often visited and spent time with the famous couple in their country retreat at Nohant, where she had the opportunity to play with the famous composer who thought very highly of her qualities as a pianist.

Sand’s influence on Pauline went beyond friendship; she assumed a protective role over her young friend. It was she who advised Pauline to marry Louis Viardot, a writer and the director of the Théâtre Italien in Paris. Pauline and Louis, who had known her sister, had met briefly in London and he had engaged her for the following operatic season. Sand’s motives for suggesting she marry Louis are not entirely clear.

Alfred de Musset, who had once been her own lover, was showing too much interest in Pauline. One reason could have been that she considered the poet unsuitable as a husband for her protégée because he offered no stability. She may have wanted to disrupt the budding relationship before it developed into something stronger.

Viardot was twice Pauline’s age, but for Sand, he was the perfect husband; he could act as her impresario, and at the same time, protect and support her in her career. Pauline’s mother agreed with this choice, and in 1840, they got married. The marriage brought the desired security, and although Pauline admitted that she had never been in love with this rather pedantic ‘old man’, they respected and were supportive of each other.

The birth of their first daughter, Louise, in 1841, was no obstacle to Pauline’s career, which always came first. Motherhood was not one of her strong points. While Pauline travelled from one European city to another, Louise was left behind to be cared for by aunts and nurses. The relationship between mother and daughter was never very good.

From 1843 to 1846, Pauline was one of the principal singers during the Italian opera season in St Petersburg, where she was applauded enthusiastically for her interpretation of major 30 ∫ Pink February 2018

roles. It was she who later promoted Russian music in Western Europe.

In spite of all this musical success, however, Pauline’s fame faded considerably after her death in 1910, and today, she is a ‘forgotten diva’. Although in recent years, attempts have been made to revive her musical compositions, today, one can say that it is only the music connoisseur who associates her name with 19th-century opera. For most people, Pauline remains the woman the great Russian writer, Ivan Turgenev, worshipped and adored all his life.

She lived at a time before her singing could be preserved; neither were there films to record her dramatic performances on stage. What people know about her career is based solely on reviews, on references to her in memoirs written by those who knew her – and there were many – and various lithographs. A more lasting monument to Pauline exists in Turgenev’s literary works, such as his novel Smoke, which can be read as an autobiographical account of his relationship with her, and in his many letters in which he ‘conversed’ with her.

In these works, she comes to life. Without them, she would probably have remained just another name in a long list of singers that form part of the history of operatic music.

Pauline was introduced to the 25-year-old writer by her husband on their first visit to St Petersburg in 1843 when he volunteered to teach her Russian. For her, it was no cataclysmic meeting, but for Turgenev, it was the turning point

Pauline Viardot in old age.

THINKPi BEAu & FASHiON

of his life. She overwhelmed him as soon as he saw her, and she remained the woman he loved and adored till the end of his life.

Turgenev was a tall, strikingly handsome man, with blue eyes and a mass of chestnut hair. Women fell in love with him. Pauline was far from beautiful, but after meeting her, he never looked at another woman and never got married. He even sent the one daughter he had by a Russian peasant to Paris to be brought up with Pauline’s own children.

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Ivan Turgenev

“FOR HER, IT WAS NO CATACLYSMIC MEETING, BUT FOR TURGENEV, IT WAS THE TURNING POINT OF HIS LIFE. SHE OVERWHELMED HIM AS SOON AS HE SAW HER, AND SHE REMAINED THE WOMAN HE LOVED AND ADORED TILL THE END OF HIS LIFE” When he met her, the writer was living with his mother on their estate in Spasskoye, where she ruled with despotic discipline, but in 1845, he left his estate, his serfs and Russia and followed the Viardots wherever they went. When they bought the Château de Courtavenel, he often visited them there and stayed with them for long periods. Besides their common interest in literature, both Louis and Turgenev had a passion for hunting and spent much time together.

Whenever Turgenev could not be with Pauline, he scanned every newspaper for every morsel of information that he could get about her stage appearances. He wrote to her daily – long letters full of love and adoration.

Sometimes, their relationship flagged, but when it did, it was always because Pauline tried to break it, and when there were prolonged separations, it was always because she made him promise that he would only go to her when she called him. “How many bad things I should have done but for that willpower – the almost inseparable sister of my conscience,” she once said.

Turgenev always managed to re-establish the contact, but their relationship cannot be described as one of the great love stories; it was too onesided. When he once wrote to a friend: “What is the point of standing and looking at a closed grave?” he was referring to his own predicament.

It is not clear whether their relationship ever became physical or, if it did, at what stage. Louis and Pauline had three other children besides Louise and the speculation that one of them could be Turgenev’s is probably based on the fact that he was especially close to one of the girls.

Pauline retired from the stage at the age of 42 and dedicated herself to composition and teaching. In 1863, the Viardots left France because, with Emperor Napoleon III on the throne, it became impossible for the antiroyalist Louis to remain in Paris, so they settled in Baden-Baden. Turgenev built a villa next door. When they retired to Paris, he occupied the flat at the top of their house.

They no longer had any reason to hide or pretend that theirs was not a ménage-à-trios. Louis had come to terms with the situation and accepted it with dignity; for Turgenev it was “sitting on the edge of someone else’s nest”. But for all of them, it was a period of “calm happiness”.

When both Louis and Turgenev fell ill, Pauline had a difficult task; she first nursed Louis, who died in 1883, and then Turgenev, who died a few months later. After their death, she continued to live in Paris near her children and grandchildren in a house overlooking the Seine and Place de La Concorde.

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Pink February 2018 ∫ 31

SHOWSTOPPER

JEWEL IN THE CITY

Start popping some precious-stone colour inspiration into your wardrobe.

Photography Stephen B. Spiteri Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] Hair Penelope @ Toni&Guy Make-up Amanda Greaves, using Flormar Model Biljana @ Supernova MM Location Casa Brimula Boutique Hotel, Bormla *Some items are on sale

Dress; shoes, both Karen Millen.

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SHOWSTOPPER

Blouse; trousers, both Oltre.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 35

SHOWSTOPPER

Dress, Miss Selfridge ∫ shoes, Karen Millen.

36 ∫ Pink February 2018

SHOWSTOPPER Jumpsuit, Miss Selfridge ∫ shoes, Stivaletti.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 37

SHOWSTOPPER

Pedro del Hierro dress; shoes, both Cortefiel.

38 ∫ Pink February 2018

SHOWSTOPPER

Dress, Karen Millen.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 39

SHOWSTOPPER

Dress, Cortefiel ∫ clutch bag, Karen Millen.

40 ∫ Pink February 2018

SHOWSTOPPER Top; trousers, both Oltre ∫ bag, Furla ∫ shoes, Stivaletti.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 41

FASHIONSTORY

MESSAGE IN A BLOG Blogger, influencer, founder and editor of Graziellecamilleri.com…, she’s everywhere, a busy social butterfly, with plenty of photo shoots to show for it. But when you do what you love, all this doesn’t feel like work, she says. With 25,000 Facebook followers and 43,000 on Instagram, Grazielle Camilleri seems to know what they want. Expect the “loving, emotional me”; more spiritual tips from the heart, mixed with fashion and style, in her upcoming posts – 2018 is, after all, the year of positive vibes and balance.

How would you describe life without social media? Could you even imagine it, seeing as your work – and your life, to a certain extent – revolves around it? Life

without social media would force us to be sociable! We would automatically have more ideas and less troubling bad news from the media, or distracting celebrity gossip. We would start talking more to our neighbours again to find out what is going on with them – good and bad.

Given that these are your tools, can you get yourself to see anything negative about Facebook, Instagram, You Tube, 44 ∫ Pink February 2018

Snapchat…? And which is your favourite?

I think all these social media platforms have done wonders in giving everyone an online voice and creating a fantastic marketing and PR platform for all companies. The negative side to social media is that it has opened up the opportunity for cyberbullying, ruined relationships, is a constant distraction, creates insecurities in some and is a place for stalkers. My favourite is currently Facebook because of its range of visual options i.e. uploading multiple images, videos, advertising, statistics and metrics. Instagram is limited when it comes to linking to other websites.

How did it all start two years ago, and when it did, did you think you’d reach any/many followers – to be precise, 25,000 on Fb and 43,000 on Instagram?

Two years ago, I was on a relaxing Christmas family vacation in Tenerife, and it is there that I started to think about where my brand and my life were going.

After my experience in media and marketing, where was I going in the next five years? What opportunities were there in blogging for women my age? How could I create content that would be of interest to both men and women? What lifestyle did I want with a one-year-old girl in our

FASHIONSTORY The Red Dragon Lady in Guess Spain on the Teide Mountains in Tenerife.

Photography Christoffer Staar

with authority and confidence about a broad number of subjects and interests.

I am also a 40-plus mum and a career mum with a very hectic lifestyle, and I think parents also like to check in to see if I have any parental tips for them, or just to see what I’ve been up to really!

What was your most popular blog post last year? According to Google Analytics,

in terms of clicks, it was Let Yourself Shine, with a photo shoot of elegant, classic jewellery by 202 Jewellery. In second place was Michael Kors Swimwear in Dubai – a bikini shoot at the magnificent Jumeirah Zabeel al Saray beach. With regards to Facebook Analytics, there was a post on New Year’s Eve that seems to have set a new tremendous flow of likes [7.1K]. It was a very heartfelt spiritual message attached to a pretty photo for all my followers.

I couldn’t have ended the year better. It seems it is what my followers want to see more of – the loving, emotional me; more spiritual tips from the heart, mixed with fashion and style.

How does it feel to be called a digital influencer and what is the message you want to stress on in 2018?

I feel honoured and greatly responsible.

I cannot stress enough that for the world to become a better place, we need more serenity within ourselves, and we need to join forces; to unite more as humans to achieve what we all wish for in our lives – peace and joy. To this end, I have launched the project Together is Better, with a video that hit over a million views.

Who is your audience and who would you most like to reach out to and influence? My audience is pretty

life? I thought I would look into blogging on things that interest me, and I have given this project my full energy and passion.

Two years later, I’m still excited and eager to do my best to give my followers something interesting to read and see.

What do you think attracts viewers to what you have to say on Blog by Grazielle? What’s the secret to creating interest and online success – and maintaining it? What’s your forte that distinguishes your posts from other

bloggers? I think they check out

graziellecamilleri.com, Facebook and Instagram not only because they like to read my posts, accompanied by lovely photos and videos, about the outfits and different styles I wear, the places I travel to and the events I attend in Malta and overseas, but also because they know that, more often than not, there is a message between the lines. These messages come from the genuine and personal experiences of a woman who has been through a lot over the years to be able to communicate

interesting: 40 per cent is currently Maltese, with 48 per cent being women, aged between 25 and 45, and a very large following of men, who also check in to read my articles and see the photos on Facebook and Instagram. Sixty per cent is international. So, it is important for me to keep that in mind when I post tips because they are aimed at a wide audience, not only Malta.

Are there really people out there who hang onto your every word when it comes to deciding about hair, make-up, clothes etc…? Can you relate at all to that – the fact that some people don’t Pink February 2018 ∫ 45

FASHIONSTORY Forest Superhero shoot, wearing Nike from Hudson Group.

have a clue about fashion? I certainly do influence people’s choices when it comes to fashion items, make-up and hair, and definitely my restaurant and lifestyle tips.

I know it for a fact because the shops and venues inform me.

How does it feel to have brands knocking at your door to endorse their products? It feels awesome!

Do you ever draw the line as to what you would promote and endorse?

What’s a no-no? Absolutely. I do not

endorse things or places I do not like, not even if I’m offered payment to do it. I am also very busy these days with so much work that I am in a position to choose who and what to collaborate with. To me, a no-no is a brand or a person that does not conform to my life principles or style.

I want to see the world become a better place and I would not work with brands or companies that send negative messages or harmful products out into it.

Why do they choose you? Would you have had the same feedback if you had 46 ∫ Pink February 2018

the charisma, but not the looks? The looks help with viewings, but having said that, if the content is totally unique, I can say through experience in marketing and sales online that there is a market for everything these days. Charisma and who you really are is what is attracting followers to bloggers, I think, alongside the looks.

Are too many people doing pretty much the same thing as you, tackling the same ‘frivolous’ subjects? Is there competition with other influencers, or do you work in harmony? I like to think there is

enough sun and subjects for everybody, so the competition is in bloggers’ minds if they choose it. I see all bloggers as unique in their own ways and having their own agendas. Otherwise, what would be the point of following them if they all covered the same subjects?

You’re constantly doing photo shoots.

Do you ever have a day when you don’t feel up to it, or self-conscious, given the perfect image models project out there? There have been very few days

FASHIONSTORY when I was physically exhausted, down, tired, or ill, but I am always so grateful for my job that I prepare myself to give it my 100 per cent and think about the result I wish to achieve with the team. I have insecurities like all men and women out there, but I know that people follow me because I’m a normal person, an adult woman with some imperfections; I make mistakes and I learn from them, but that is what makes Grazielle today.

that I kept getting emotional and crying with happiness. If I did not work for three weeks at Christmas, I would go a little crazy, I think. When you do what you love, it doesn’t feel like work.

One of your latest shoots was while on a family holiday in Tenerife in Christmas.

Tell us about it? And why did you choose to work even over the holidays? Oh, this

other career-oriented person, it is with a support system from the family that I manage to do what I do. My husband is totally supportive, which helps a lot, especially when I have events in the evenings. It was never planned for Luna to be in the blog, but it happened naturally that brands such as Mothercare and Benetton approached me to include her and I decided to make whole outings out of them. She loves it so far as she feels she is helping me – and she loves a camera!

shoot was a dream! I drove up with the fashion photographer and his assistant to the tip of the Teide volcano, followed by various stops in its surrounding forests.

We spent an entire day driving to spot locations and shooting fashion photos for the blog and for your wonderful magazine, and I felt so happy to be doing what I love

With such a full-on work/social life, how do you cope with motherhood and juggle things? What sort of help do you have and do you involve your daughter in your shoots in order to be able to spend more time together? Like any

“I TRAIN EVERY DAY AND IT’S THE BEST THING I GIFT MYSELF TO KEEP HEALTHY AND STRONG, BOTH IN BODY AND MIND” There’s a strong element of fitness in your vlogs. How important is exercise in your life and what’s your regime?

It is crucial for my well-being and my appearance, and it is also one of our family’s daily rituals. If you follow my Instagram stories, you will see that we jog every morning as a family with baby Luna in her pram. We wish to inspire families to exercise together and to instil this in their everyday lives. When I don’t run, it’s because I am at the gym, or because I have a dance class planned in the evening. I train every day and it’s the best thing I gift myself to keep healthy and strong, both in body and mind.

Your life revolves around attending social events, launches, etc… which means getting your hair and make-up done professionally almost each time in your case? Do you ever find this tiring and too time-consuming? It is totally

time-consuming and costly to get styled from head to toe for each event, but I set myself certain standards two years ago, and I believe that if I am to be treated and respected as a professional in my field and also to conform with international blogging and celebrity standards, there is

no compromising. You never know who is watching! I am a perfectionist.

Does what you do put you under pressure to always look groomed – even if you run down to the grocer?

Would you feel liberated if you could relax about your appearance, or do you detest the natural look? Haha! You know

I do go out without make-up and I love it; and I love wearing jeans, T-shirts and sneakers. I love the natural look and I know I look much younger without makeup and in casual clothes. I always have matching clothes, but I’m really OK with no make-up. If in doubt, I will wear cool shades. Problem solved gracefully!

How long does it actually take you to get dressed and how far in advance – honestly – do you plan outfits?

It takes me about an hour to get ready and I am honestly very fast at styling with what I have on hand. I dress up every day according to how I feel and who I am meeting.

If you had to choose between great makeup, a great outfit, or great hair, which would you go for? Great outfit, I think.

A favourite outfit in 2017? And what you’re looking forward to wearing in 2018? Oh gosh! That is so difficult. One

favourite was when I wore a long white dress with gold trimmings by the local designer Gaetano Couture during Malta Fashion Week. Everyone loved the whole look, make-up, hair and all. In 2018, I’m looking forward to sporting the latest collections. I love everything related to fashion from casual to elegant wear, so I’m excited about everything!

Goals for and reflections on the year ahead… For me, this is the year of more

international growth and of giving back to the community through my posts and actions. I wish to be the best version of myself as a blogger and as a mother and wife, and I wish to send out positive vibes to the world. Success and happiness depend on a balance in life – the balance between achieving goals and just enjoying the moment because life is beautiful when you choose to see it as such.

Follow Grazielle on facebook.com/BlogbyGrazielle and @graziellecamilleri

Pink February 2018 ∫ 47

PARENTINGTIPS

CRUSHED

BY A CRUSH Educational and child psychologist Dr STEPHANIE SATARIANO helps you help your child cope with a romantic let-down around Valentine’s Day.

M

aybe it’s your teenager, who has had her first big crush, or your fiveyear-old, who has a collection of 11 girlfriends… From a young age, it is typical for children to begin to develop romantic feelings towards others. To us, it is often apparent that this is just a crush that will soon fade into a distant memory, but to them, it’s the centre of their world, and probably the most intense emotion they have ever felt.

When things are going well, they’ll be on cloud 9 – probably the happiest version of your teen you’ve ever seen.

But what about when things begin to go sour? When the feelings are unrequited?

Love hurts; we all know that; most of us have been there. In fact, romantic rejections rank among the most painful experiences to go through. As for today’s youth, it is even more difficult, as each of their life

events is publicised widely through social media like Facebook and Twitter.

SO HOW DO YOU HELP THEM COPE? Resist the urge to put down a teenage romance; we have all been there and know how intense and important it feels.

Yes, we know that they will soon move on, but they don’t know that, and their emotions are real!

the resilience and strength to be happy with/without a partner.

Help them understand the concept of ‘universal rejection’; some people in this world will like us and some won’t, and sometimes, we can’t do anything to change that. So, we’re best off focusing our energy on people who value and appreciate us.

You can also help use this as a learning experience. Remind them that there will be a time when they are doing the dumping, and to remember what this feels like, so they can do it with kindness and compassion.

Sadly, this rejection is not only limited to the teenage years; little ones

“SOME PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WILL LIKE US AND SOME WON’T, AND SOMETIMES, WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT. SO, WE’RE BEST OFF FOCUSING OUR ENERGY ON PEOPLE WHO VALUE AND APPRECIATE US” Highlight their strengths and the positive qualities that make them. Rather than focusing on the idea that they will find someone else, help them understand that they are a whole person, who has

too feel crushes and the feelings of rejection associated with this. In essence, the above coping strategies resonate with any age group – yes, even us as adults!

Pink February 2018 ∫ 51

HOMEMAKER

THROWING AWAY TOO MUCH Discarded among other New Year’s resolutions could be the determination to live in a less wasteful and more mindful way. PINK has rounded up 10 ways to achieve this and help us out of our bingeing when it comes to clothes, beauty products – and shopping bouts.

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efore you start to try and live in a more mindful way, conduct a waste audit to see what you’re currently throwing away and what you can reduce on. Spend a week being aware of what you discard and then replace at least one of the disposable items with a reusable option, such as shopping bags and shaving razors. The next steps are the following: Give your wardrobe an instant uplift with a clothes swap – a brilliant way to reuse your clothes rather than getting rid of them. you don’t find a home for those unwanted 2 Ifclothes, drop them off at a charity shop and help a good cause in the process. for those clothes that are beyond repair, cut 3 And them neatly and add them to your cleaning things.

Wash them regularly and reduce the amount of paper napkins used in an instant. reusable bottles for beauty products and refill 4 Buy them – this immediately reduces the amount of plastic you use. microfibre cloths for your face and reduce the 5 Buy amount of cotton wool and tissue paper you use.

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Think twice before you buy another beauty product – ask yourself whether you really need it, or whether it is just another impulse buy? Those extra few minutes can make all the difference, even saving you money in the process. you think your body moisturiser is finished, 7 Ifthink again. Cut across your beauty products and see what a lot gets left behind and thrown away simply because it doesn’t come out immediately. spring cleaning regularly, you’ll be reminded of 8 By just how much stuff you already have, which is likely to curb the next shopping urge you get, thereby reducing the amount of unnecessary items you buy.

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“IF YOU THINK YOUR BODY MOISTURISER IS FINISHED, THINK AGAIN. CUT ACROSS YOUR BEAUTY PRODUCTS AND SEE WHAT A LOT GETS LEFT BEHIND AND THROWN AWAY SIMPLY BECAUSE IT DOESN’T COME OUT IMMEDIATELY” Repair before you throw away items. Find an excellent cobbler, who will repair handbags, shoes and even belts and give them a new lease of life. responsibility for your shopping sprees and 10 Take refuse excessive shopping bags, shoe boxes and plastic packaging and ask sales people not to wrap your purchases. This will save on extensive use of plastic and might even help to spread the word.

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For more tips on how to reduce and manage your waste properly, visit http://www.dontwastewaste.gov.mt

Pink February 2018 ∫ 53

GIRLTALK

THE VIRGINIA MONOLOGUES

DELAYED EMOTIONAL REACTIONS – ARE THEY FOR REAL?

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think the two seminal moments in any relationship are the beginning and the end.

“How did you meet?” is a frequent question on everybody’s lips and makes for good conversation over dinner. Your relationship story, particularly how it began, is something you will probably find yourself relating over and over throughout the course of your relationship, especially if it’s a good story.

And of course, in the unfortunate event that your relationship ends and kicks the metaphorical bucket, you will find that, here again, people want to know all the gory details – the why

and the how – and more importantly, who did the leaving.

Does it really matter? I wonder.

I once asked a guy how he and his wife had met and I remember being very disappointed with his very uninteresting reply. There was clearly nothing memorable or special about it as far as he was concerned, and I was ever so glad I was not his wife at that moment. For I would definitely want my husband – even if he were my ex – to remember me in a far more significant way.

He shrugged it off and gave a very non-committal and

dismissive reply like “probably we met outside somewhere” but didn’t even remember the where and how.

True, they had since separated and were leading separate lives, so perhaps, he had his own reasons for ‘blocking’ the memory. But I still wondered how his wife would have answered the same question and whether she had her own version of how they had met – something a little more serendipitous and special. And I am pretty sure that were I to ask her, she would, indeed, have her story to tell, which, in all likelihood, would differ to the non-starter in his head.

Because yes, men and women do

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GIRLTALK

look at things differently – even one and the same thing.

Still, if there is one thing that we can probably all agree on, it is that although we meet many people in the course of our lives, we have relationships with very few. What is it that makes us want to bare our soul [and body] to one person, but not to another, who may be a far more admirable, worthy and dedicated suitor? I had written about this years ago, in the early days of Pink, when I talked about chemistry.

In fact, it’s all rather curious because some people will tell you that sex can elongate and breathe life into a relationship that is defunct or expired; while there’s another school of thought, which would seem to suggest that being stingy and very economical with sex [and this applies more to women, of course] keeps a man interested.

I don’t really believe in rules.

The only rule here is that there are no rules, bar one: that when a relationship is over, no amount of sex will reignite the flame; and when a relationship has just begun and is in its embryonic or

asked out by a man who was sitting directly across from me, on my trusty sofa. It had never happened before – at least not in such a direct way – which is perhaps the reason why I didn’t even consider it for a second. One minute we were on the sofa making cordial conversation; the next he was making some sort of romantic declaration I suppose I was not ready for.

I remember sending him on his way politely and telling him that I was not interested in a relationship. It wasn’t altogether true. I was probably semiinterested in a relationship; just

“TO ME, THE MOST FASCINATING THING HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE ATTRACTION THAT FORMS OUT OF NOWHERE WITH SOMEONE YOU MAY HAVE KNOWN YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND NOT HAVE BEEN REMOTELY ATTRACTED TO… UNTIL ONE DAY, HE OR SHE SUDDENLY BECOMES THE OBJECT OF YOUR FOCUS, FANTASY AND AFFECTION” But leaving chemistry aside, what I find even stranger is that we may go through life thinking we do not want a relationship with someone, only to change our minds one day apropos of absolutely nothing. It’s like a switch that somehow gets turned on. Conversely, someone we may be having a relationship with could just as easily put us off and send us packing in the opposite direction. If it sounds very touchand-go and complicated, it’s because it is.

There are no rules, you see. Sex, for instance, is not an automatic indicator of anything. It doesn’t guarantee relationship success, or even a relationship at all. You might be having [great] sex with someone, hoping that it will somehow lead to a more lasting commitment, and still know in your heart that you are not in his [or hers]. And you may never have had sex with a person, and still know that you have a hold on them and a special place in their heart.

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crystallisation phase [those first six months or so when you are literally mad about each other], there is no such thing as ‘wrong’. Whatever you do is right, even if it may be wrong.

Thinking back to me and my relationships, I do notice a common denominator. Apart from a couple that began as a result of a chance encounter, i.e. a face-to-face, viva voce meeting, the others took off differently. There was, in fact, a significant emotional delay in all the rest… almost as if falling in love was an after-thought.

To me, the most fascinating thing has always been the attraction that forms out of nowhere with someone you may have known your whole life and not have been remotely attracted to… until one day, he or she suddenly becomes the object of your focus, fantasy and affection.

It happened to me once; maybe even twice. I remember one time, quite a number of years ago, being

not with him. Or so I thought and imagined. He got up and left, but didn’t give up on me and took to calling and sending e-mails instead – always the best way into my heart, I have learned. Within a week, I was hooked.

Why? Why hadn’t I jumped at his initial proposal that day he came round to my house? Is it because I am less interested in the physical and more interested in a person’s words and voice? Is it because having a person in front of me is distracting and gets in the way of my ‘idea’ of him – the one in my head, which is infinitely better? Is it because hearing a person’s voice and reading his words are way ‘sexier’ to me than seeing that person in the flesh and, on top of that, having to put up with his bad breath or something equally off-putting and irritating? Is it because I hate it when real life gets in the way? I wonder. ginantonic@live.com

PINKPROMO

THE PERFECT COCKTAIL

Zoe Saldana Photography Matteo Bottin [PRNewsfoto/Campari]

Following the international success of the 2017 edition, the iconic Italian aperitif launches Campari Red Diaries 2018 with an all-star short movie, The Legend of Red Hand, steeped in intrigue, leading viewers in the journey of pursuit of the perfect cocktail.

E

volving Campari’s ethos that every cocktail tells a story, this year’s film is a celebration of bartenders’ talent around the world, and most importantly, the Red Hands, masters of the world’s best cocktails.

The short movie acts as the centrepiece of this year’s campaign, starring globally renowned actress Zoe Saldana, star of blockbuster film franchises Avatar and Guardians of the Galaxy, and Italian actor Adriano Giannini, under the direction of Stefano Sollima, known for his work on Gomorrah and upcoming movie Soldado.

Entitled The Legend of Red Hand, the story is a thrilling mystery that tells the journey of Mia Parc, played by an intrigued Saldana, in the pursuit of the perfect cocktail starting in Milan, the birthplace of Campari.

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Sollima brings his storytelling expertise in the thriller genre to create a tense and captivating story, taking viewers on an intriguing journey around the world in the pursuit of perfection.

Saldana exudes glamour and finesse in her role as Mia alongside Giannini, as the male lead and Mia’s love interest, Davide, the epitome of Italian style.

“The Campari Red Diaries campaign has a great legacy, so I was delighted to play the role of Mia Parc in The Legend of Red Hand. Mia’s character was a fascinating one to play; to portray her sheer determination to reach perfection and bringing this to life in Milan as the birthplace of Campari, the iconic Italian aperitif, was very special,” Saldana comments.

On the creation of the short movie, Sollima comments: “Directing The

Legend of Red Hand short movie and working alongside such talent was a pleasure. Being Italian, Campari is an iconic brand that has been present throughout my life, making it an easy choice to collaborate with. The campaign and the story allow such creativity to create a world of mystery that captivates the viewer and leaves them wanting more.”

On his role as Davide, Giannini says: “Working with Zoe and Stefano has been an absolute pleasure, especially on a short movie for a brand with such rich Italian heritage. Playing

PINKPROMO

Adriano Giannini

Stefano Sollima

Photography Francesco Pizzo [PRNewsfoto/Campari]

Davide, a character named after the founder of Campari, was a great responsibility…”

Bob Kunze-Concewitz, Chief Executive Officer of Gruppo Campari said: “This year, The Campari Red Diaries campaign takes a new and

interesting turn; we are demonstrating Campari’s ambition for creating the perfect cocktail while continuing the celebration of talent in the art of bartending around the world. We are thrilled to have Saldana, Sollima and Giannini at the heart of the movie …

and taking our fans on the journey to discover what lies beyond The Legend of Red Hand.”

Campari is marketed and distributed by Farsons Beverage Imports Co. Ltd. For trade enquiries, call on 2381 4400 #Campari #RedDiaries

Pink February 2018 ∫ 59

TABLETALK

INGREDIENTS Serves 6 For the pastry 150g flour 130g chilled, unsalted butter, cut into small cubes 2 tbsp ice-cold water 8-inch tart tin, or 4 individual tartlet moulds For the filling 150ml single cream 10g mint leaves, and a few extra for garnish 150g good-quality dark chocolate, with at least 70 per cent cocoa solids, chopped into small pieces a pinch of salt

METHOD For the tart case Preheat the oven to 180°C. Sift the flour in a large bowl. Rub the butter into the flour using your fingertips until there are no large lumps.

If the butter gets too warm, refrigerate for 10-15 minutes and continue. Add 60 ∫ Pink February 2018

Melting moments MARIA CACHIA’s chocolate mint tart is all the decadence you want for a Valentine’s dessert. the ice-cold water and blend with a knife. Form the dough into a ball shape.

It will be very crumbly. Place it into a sheet of cling film and refrigerate for at least half an hour. Roll the dough out onto the tart case and freeze it for 10 minutes. Prick the base with a fork.

Place a sheet of baking paper onto the case and fill it with ceramic beans to act as a weight on the pastry. [Alternatively, use any dried beans, or lentils, to be discarded after use.] Place the tart case in the middle shelf and bake for 10 minutes. Remove the baking paper and ceramic beans. Cover it loosely with foil and bake for another 10-15 minutes, until the base is cooked through. Allow to come to room temperature before pouring in the filling.

For the filling In a saucepan, bring the cream and mint leaves to a very gentle simmer.

The cream should not reach boiling point, but it should be warm enough for the chocolate to melt. Remove the mint leaves by passing the mixture through a sieve. Put the cream back into the saucepan, remove from the heat and add the chocolate pieces.

Blend the mixture until the chocolate has melted. Once the mixture comes to room temperature, pour it first into a jug and then slowly into the tart case.

Refrigerate for at least four hours before serving. Garnish with mint leaves. [The zest of half a grapefruit can also be used instead of the mint leaves.]

WOMENONWHEELS

SLEEK AND SPORTY It’s not surprising that one of the features interior and fashion designer PIPPA TOLEDO appreciates about the all-new Jaguar E-Pace is its minimalist feel and the leather seat detailing. But despite being driven by an eye for design, she doesn’t stop at the looks and says its performance is tops too. The artist and entrepreneur finds this car seriously tempting.

T

he new Jaguar E-Pace from Muscats Motors Ltd not only met my expectations, but is also seriously tempting.

This newly launched SUV is most ideal for young families, the working woman and, well, it’s actually fit for anyone’s lifestyle… including me. For my line of work, it’s a practical car – good for baggage, or bulky bags, having a luggage compartment that offers lots of space.

In traffic, the Jag E-Pace is also easy to handle, and on a wide-open road, it performs just right, making the ride feel smooth.

Coming in a very affordable price range, the new Jag has a compact interior, giving it a new and modern look. It is sleek and sporty both from the outside and within.

The car is designed in a way that is very spacious, with sufficient head, leg and shoulder room, and it also stands out in its practicality, while showing off the latest technology.

The E-Pace doesn’t just look good, but it also performs well.

Plus black is my colour! But what I loved the most is the minimalist feel and leather seat detailing.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 63

SNAPSHOT

Carmen

THE STRANGER IN EVERY ONE OF US

Leaving a stable career and a good wage to dance full-time with ZfinMalta may have been considered foolish by many. But for Florinda Camilleri, this was a chance to follow her dreams. She speaks to PINK about her exciting journey and the national dance company’s upcoming world premiere of Carmen.

H

ow did you get into dance? I

can’t remember ever not being into dance! It’s always been an intrinsic part of my life – I was lucky to grow up in an environment that encouraged artistic expression. I was taken to my first ballet lesson when I wasn’t quite three years old and I haven’t stopped since.

At what stage did you decide to make it your career? ZfinMalta, the national dance com-

pany, was born in 2014, and suddenly, a fulltime career in dance in Malta became possible.

I hadn’t been able to consider dance as a career before then. Its creation spurred me to follow my heart and take dance beyond an activity I enjoyed during the last few hours of the day and with only a small percentage of my energy.

Dance suddenly become something I could live and breathe; a way of life I can finally offer my full attention to.

Given you have Master’s in pharmacy, how difficult was this decision? How did your family react? I had questions at first, but never

apprehensions. Many questioned why I would leave behind the stability of a career to pursue a much less stable one in the arts, but I knew it was the right choice.

I had to take the chance because I felt I had nothing to lose. I knew that pharmacy would remain a fantastic alternative to fall back on, should the need arise.

And besides, how would I know if a career as a fulltime dancer could work for me if I didn’t try? My family was fully supportive, and has always encouraged me to do things that make me happy and to take a path less travelled, even if it turned out to be the harder one. I could never thank them enough for their unwavering support throughout my life and to this very day.

Pink February 2018 ∫ 65

SNAPSHOT “I KNOW THAT DANCE WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF MY LIFE, BUT IT HAS BECOME MORE AND MORE CLEAR TO ME THAT IT WILL FORM PART OF MANY OTHER PURSUITS I NEED TO FOLLOW, BASED ON MY LOVE FOR ART AND MY INTEREST IN THE POWER OF HUMAN CONNECTIONS”

How disciplined does a dancer need to be? A dancer’s life is built completely around discipline. You need to sleep the right amount, eat the right amount of the correct food, and look after yourself [body and mind] outside of working hours too. During the working day, you also need to maintain your own internal discipline to push yourself to keep working consciously towards improving your art.

It can be very tiring and frustrating at times, but equally, it can also be extremely satisfying and exhilarating.

Florinda [right] with Yasmin Priyatmoko Bohn who plays Carmen.

Do you see dance as an interlude in your life, or something you wish to pursue for many years? I see my experience as a full-time dancer

porary dance company, though very often, we start the day with a classical ballet class to align ourselves for the rehearsals ahead. We work six days a week, from 10am to 6pm. There are weeks where we are rehearsing material that has already been created, and other weeks where we engage in the creation of new work. The styles we explore vary depending on the choreographer we are working with, so we have to be ready to switch in and out of different styles efficiently and seamlessly. As a member of ZfinMalta, I feel my role goes beyond that of a dancer. I am actually one of the first Maltese dancers to be working full-time in Malta, so I feel a great responsibility towards all of those who came before me and those who will come Florinda’s first steps into dance. after me. Also, when we tour, I am aware that I am representing my country; another responsibility I try to carry off with respect.

as a giant stepping stone into the world of the arts. In the past few years, I’ve learnt a tremendous amount about myself, about the significance of art in our lives, and I have opened up my mind to so many new ideas. I know that dance will always be a part of my life, but it has become more and more clear to me that it will form part of many other pursuits I need to follow, based on my love for art and my interest in the power of human connections.

Would you say that dance has really taken off in Malta? Dance has been around in Malta for quite

some time. As a young woman in the late-1930s, my maternal grandmother trained in classical ballet and regularly performed in the old Opera House in Valletta! I feel that dance has definitely become much more diverse and is growing very quickly from strength to strength. In fact, with structures being put in place to build towards higher standards, we are gradually unveiling the great potential that exists in our islands.

Do you think the average person understands dance? In prin-

ciple, everyone can understand dance. The rhythm of our heartbeat is enough to drive us to follow a beat and let our bodies move, but not everyone is ready to let this happen. Contemporary dance has the reputation of being too abstract, and it often is, which is why with ZfinMalta we are doing our utmost to create work that is accessible to our audiences, while simultaneously pushing the boundaries of our art. It’s not an easy task, but we are trying our best and learning as we go along.

66 ∫ Pink February 2018

You are a member of Malta’s national dance company, ZfinMalta. What does this entail? ZfinMalta is a contem-

What has ZfinMalta done to date? Over the past four years, performing locally and overseas, ZfinMalta has produced a wide repertoire. We have taken our work to Palestine, Jerusalem, Malaysia, India, Thailand, Germany, Slovenia, Serbia, Crete, and the UK. Besides this, ZfinMalta has opened the door for Maltese dancers to make their dreams a reality.

You are soon to take part in an original dance production of Carmen. Can you tell us a little about it? This will be a full-length

production, choreographed by the awardwinning, London-based José Agudo, who also created Selah for the company in 2015. José was drawn to this story because of the innate Mediterranean passion and fire that underlie the narrative; elements he is exploring by implementing both contemporary and flamenco techniques in the choreography. Carmen is the complex story about individuality and sexual freedom, love and pleasure, and, ultimately, about death and the destiny of a gypsy woman. We are not aiming to deliver the classic story of Carmen; instead, this new dance reexamines the rich tapestry of human motives and emotions. It will be very physical and raw, with a lot of emotions that we really hope the audience will be able to relate to. Carmen is the stranger, and each one of us is that stranger.

ZfinMalta, under its new artistic director Paolo Mangiola, is presenting its latest production Carmen at the Catholic Institute Theatre, Floriana, on February 16 and 17 [with a preview on February 15]. It will then tour different localities in Malta and Gozo. For tickets visit: http://zfinmalta.org/landing/carmen-dance-performancemalta-catholic-institute-theatre