Pink (February 2019)

ISSUE172∫FEBRUARY2019

He gave her his heart

WHEN A LIFE ENDS AND LIVES ON IN ANOTHER ENCOURAGING ORGAN DONATION

THE STORY OF WHEN MUM AND DAD SPLIT UP HOW A MOTHER ROSE FROM THE ASHES OF A TRAUMATIC DIVORCE

BY GUIDING HER CHILDREN TOWARDS A NEW LIFE

TEEN LOVE WHEN IT’S TIME TO GET USED TO THE KIDS FALLING IN LOVE

On a date night… alone THE FREEDOM AND FUN OF ME TIME

INSIDE

February 2019

12 21

FEATURES 12 LoveLife born to shine Giving a woman his heart… and a new life 21 InFocus the language of the soul Divorcee creates book series to help broken families cope 27 ArtyFacts a picture is worth a thousand words A passion for photography and a prestigious competition

FASHION 36 ShowStopper wanting and waiting for spring Flaunt your florals from now

HEALTH & BEAUTY 44 RelationTips ticket for one The joy of a solo date night 47 PinkShrink teen dating Dealing with your kids’ first romance

36

REGULARS

55

7 EditorsNote 8 MailShot 30 WomanKind heroine of war Pearl Witherington 55 WomenOnWheels into the blue Mazda 2 IPM 3 57 SnapShot celebrating women John Anthony Fsadni

COVER Photography Andre Gialanze ∫ Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] ∫ Hair Robert Agius ∫ Make-up Marlene Vassallo ∫ Model Hanna @ Supernova MM, wearing dress, Debenhams [on sale] ∫ boots, €89, Charles & Keith.

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EDITORSNOTE

For once, I’m going to stick to the contents of this month’s issue. There is much to say…

We could call it the Valentine’s edition of Pink, coming out just in time for February 14, but of course, we have our own take on love stories, couply adventures and antics, and the happily ever after…

We talk about ‘giving our heart’ to someone, or someone ‘stealing our heart’, but the LoveLife story on page 12 takes this act to an altogether higher level as we meet the recipient of a 20-year-old’s actual beating organ after he passed away two years ago… passing his life on to her.

Born to Shine brought tears to the author’s eyes and mine too – something that may have happened at most three times in Pink’s 15-year history.

We speak to the family of Drew Abela, whose strength, sincerity and altruism shine through, as did their superhero son, and who have soldiered on with a nationwide campaign, Life After Drew, to push for organ donation. Out of tragedy and sorrow came this noble gesture – and Drew lives on in seven other people.

I couldn’t agree more with an opt-out system for the organ donation registration process. Sometimes, it’s hard to broach the taboo subject, as the family explains, and this, in my view, could bypass having that awkward conversation no one really wants to bring up and help overcome the hurdles to what should be the obvious choice.

Drew’s mother, Sharon, shares one of the many moving letters she has been writing to her son every Thursday since the day he died; and we share in her grief, while we are uplifted by her positive spirit. And Christine Grixti, the woman who is ‘caring’ for his heart, which has replaced her own sick one, talks about the miracle gift of a new life thanks to this young man and his family.

When she found out who her donor was and how young he was when he died, it literally broke the heart she was carrying – his heart. Her meeting with the family of the beautiful boy who saved her life was so emotional… but she now had a healthy heart to deal with it.

It’s a story of immense heartbreak, but also of true love as the family teaches us how to ‘move with’ tragedy and find a positive cause to work towards.

The idea of coping and moving ahead is also strong in the story about life after divorce for a family whose world could have fallen apart when the parents went their separate ways.

In InFocus on page 21, a change management consultant and mum of three talks about how she wrote a story to help her children deal with the trauma that was about to befall them.

She designed an “emotional navigation system” to guide her children towards a new life with a positive attitude.

After listening to the story, the children were encouraged to express their emotions through art and so began the family’s healing journey – a journey that later evolved into a three-book project co-created with her children.

This is the story of how the end of one love was translated into an even deeper one between parent and child to protect them, and in so doing, move out of the downward spiral that the end of a marriage can cause.

On the subject of children, in PinkShrink on page 47, teen love takes centre stage, with clinical psychologist Edward Curmi telling us that the prospect of their kids dating, which could make most parents cringe, is actually a very natural process that has to take its course. And, yes, that’s where it all starts…

Until you end up, like author Adriana Bishop, also enjoying a ‘ticket for one’ and dressing up for a date night alone at the theatre – not because she has in any way been abandoned, but simply because independence, alone time and escapades are also important for a married mum. In RelationTips on page 44, she talks about the freedom of solo travel and how liberating it can be to dine alone.

So, yes, it’s not just about chocolates, soft toys, flowers, candlelit dinners and other one-off gifts in Pink, but about the less romantic and commercial side of this feast; and more crucially, about love – and life – after the love has gone…

February 10, 2019 ∫ Pink is a monthly magazine ∫ Issue 172 ∫ Executive editor Fiona Galea Debono ∫ Publisher Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Printing Progress Press Ltd ∫ Production Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Contributors Robert Agius Adriana Bishop, Tezara Camilleri, Edward Curmi, Iggy Fenech, Mary Galea Debono, Marisa Grima, Marlene Vassallo, Rachel Zammit Cutajar ∫ Design Manuel Schembri ∫ Photography Jonathan Borg, Andre Gialanze, Kris Micallef, Matthew Mirabelli ∫ Advertising sales Veronica Grech Sant [2276 4333; veronica.grechsant@timesofmalta.com].

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© 2019. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole, or in part, without written permission of the publishers, is prohibited.

Pink February 2019 ∫ 7

MAILSHOT

THE LETTER THAT TICKLED PINK FROM RECYCLE BIN TO GREAT READ I was just about to put a pile of magazines and flyers in the recycle bin, one of which was the December 2018 issue of Pink. I don’t know if it was the cover with the model wearing a dress made out of the pages of the magazine [maybe a future idea for recycling], or some of the titles, but I ended up reading most of the articles inside. By no order of merit, I will start by naming the feature No Shame, Just Sharing [InFocus, December 2018] about queuing up for food. Before reading this article, I would never have imagined that we had a food bank in Malta. Notwithstanding all the surveys boasting about Malta’s excellent economy, there are still individuals and families who, for whatever reason, can’t make ends meet, which leads them to not even having enough money to eat. Incredible! In the feature Light After the Tunnel [PrivateEye, December 2018] about a woman’s first courageous Christmas alone, my heart ached for this exceptional woman, who suffered so many horrors from such a young age. She is definitely an inspiration for all those who are silently going through shame and misery to pluck up courage and seek help. Thumbs up also to Melissa Pace, who, through the feature Putting Your Best Foot Forward [LifeStyle, December 2018], literally spills out great intelligence and determination to be able to overcome her handicap and has become a much followed fashion blogger, even being chosen to put together outfits for the likes of TV presenter and actress Claire Agius, and this apart from being an audit assistant, soon to qualify as an auditor. I would have gone on and on about some other very good features, but that will be for another time I am sure. So, thank you so much Pink for your excellent research.

CONCETTA CUTAJAR, FROM SAN GWANN

The writer of the letter of the month wins an Éclat de Nuit Lanvin eau de parfum from Chemimart; PLUS a bottle of Campari from Farsons Beverage Imports Co. Ltd.

IMPROVING OUR DRIVING It was such a relief reading that there are 12 points drivers can accumulate behind the wheel. The article Getting off Autopilot [RelationTips, January 2018], pinpoints 12 quick and easy tips that truly improve your way of driving. Unlike the penalty point system, I believe that this can be another positive way for drivers to improve their behaviour and address the unacceptable levels of injury and death on our roads. At least, drivers will be eager to accomplish these 12 points, rather than fear losing them.

DANIEL TANTI FARRUGIA, FROM ST PAUL’S BAY

DON’T GIVE HUNGRY PEOPLE FISH Dear editor, No Shame, Just Sharing [InFocus, December 2018] made me stop and wonder, and to tell you the truth, I don’t know what to think. In this day and age, when education and medical expenses are government backed, when families get children’s allowances, the elderly and persons with disability receive pensions and benefits, life should be more bearable. Of course, getting by on the dole is like walking a tight rope, but it is definitely a great help and stops anyone from falling into the chasm of sheer poverty. However, I found some discrepancies in Mary’s story. She said she cannot afford to buy pills. But medication for high blood pressure and pain relief is given for free. She needs someone to point this out to her. And there are so many people living under her roof, including a young mum with two kids… Can’t she find at least a part-time job to help out the family’s finances? There’s a proverb that repetition has made boring, but which is very wise: “Don’t give hungry people fish to eat but teach them to fish.” I don’t want to sound uncaring, but I notice that some people living on very limited means still want to keep up with the Joneses in small luxuries. These people should be taught how to balance their expenses with their income. Regarding people looking for jobs, be they Maltese or foreigners, Facebook is full of job offers. If I were on the brink of poverty, I would not turn my nose up at any kind of work, as long as it is decent. Everybody has a right to live in humane conditions and it is our duty to help our neighbours in need – especially those who don’t sit on their haunches and just expect handouts. Moreover, helping others will fill our hearts with joy and serenity.

JOSETTE CHETCUTI, FROM ST PAUL'S BAY

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8 ∫ Pink February 2019

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LOVELIFE

“BORN TO SHINE”

They say your life changes when you have children. Yes, it does. But nothing can prepare you for how much life changes when your child dies. Kenneth and Sharon Abela tell ADRIANA BISHOP how they are “moving with” the loss of their son Drew after donating his organs to save seven other people.

T

his is a story about life after death, of hope after despair, of courage and bravery beyond compare. It is a story that only its protagonists can relate, and we must listen and reflect with an open mind and a willingness to take their lead and follow in their heroic footsteps. For they are heroes, but so could we be.

When Drew Abela’s mother dressed her then two-yearold toddler in a Batman costume, little could she imagine what a superhero her son would become after his death.

Drew died on Thursday, June 9, 2016, at the age of 20 from a brain aneurysm, but thanks to his parents’ altruism and quick thinking, he saved the lives of seven other people when his organs were donated.

emblazoned with the word “#legend” refers to a running joke between Drew and his cousin, youthful banter that now reflects Drew’s ultimate act of heroism and legacy.

His bedroom remained untouched for almost two years, but now doubles up as Sharon’s study, a place where she feels closest to him; where “sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry, going through a roller coaster of emotions even within the same minute.”

Sharon recalls: “Our son was the gentlest person, almost six foot tall, full of life, very lovable, very loving, soft-spoken with a great sense of humour, which I really miss.”

She and Kenneth were away on holiday in Sicily the day Drew was taken ill. After a frantic wait for the catamaran, they returned to Malta at around midnight. By 8am the

“IF A PERSON IS REGISTERED AS A DONOR, IT MEANS THE INDIVIDUAL WANTS TO DO THIS, AND IT IS NOT UP TO THE NEXT OF KIN TO HAVE TO FACE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA AFTERWARDS AND THE DILEMMA OF DOING THE RIGHT THING” Now, his parents, Kenneth and Sharon, are leading a nationwide campaign to encourage more heroes like Drew to register as organ donors.

Even though Drew passed away three-and-a-half years ago, his infectious smile and warm personality still shine in the Abela household. There is never a moment in the family’s life when Drew is not included. On birthdays, his sister Bobbie makes sure she writes a card from Drew; at special occasions, a place is set at the table for him; and even Bobbie’s graduation cake featured the Batman symbol, which has now become associated with the reallife hero that is Drew.

A portrait of Drew painted by Anna Galea takes pride of place in the hallway surrounded by countless photos, trinkets and little gifts in memory of happier days.

More photos adorn the walls showing Drew together with his many friends and beloved family. A small plaque 12 ∫ Pink February 2019

following morning, the family were given solid indications that he was probably brain-dead.

“They ran two tests and that is when they actually confirmed that there was no more hope,” recounts Sharon.

“At that point, the question is raised as to whether we would like to donate his organs. I believe I actually preempted it. At that moment, you become so frantic, it is like an out-of-body experience. My soul was crying out ‘save anything’. It was a mixture of wanting him to remain here and at the same time helping others.”

Sharon and Kenneth had been registered as organ donors since the early 1990s and their children had also discussed the option of registering. While it was an “automatic” decision for the family to donate Drew’s organs, signing off the consent form was not at all easy. Sharon confessed she found “the actual signature too heavy” so she asked her husband to do it.

LOVELIFE Adoring Drew… Sharon, Bobbie and Kenneth Abela have a special shrine for their hero at home.

“It was the most difficult signature of my life,” admits Kenneth, “but the most rewarding one.”

And that is one of the reasons why the Life After Drew campaign was conceived. The topic of organ donations remains a sensitive one and pretty much taboo.

“The reality is that there is not enough awareness on the subject of organ donation in Malta. If a person is registered as a donor, it means the individual wants to do this, and it is not up to the next of kin to have to face the psychological trauma afterwards and the dilemma of doing the right thing. Of course, if you know the person well enough, your instinct would reflect their wishes. However, the more education there is about the subject, the more people would accept the need for organ donation,” says Sharon.

Last year, a petition was raised by Michel Camilleri to change the local organ donation registration process from the current opt-in system to an opt-out. Countries that have introduced such a system see higher donor rates than those with an opt-in system. Several European countries, including Austria, Italy, Belgium, France, Norway, Spain, the Czech Republic, Finland, Greece, Hungary, Luxembourg, Poland, Slovenia, Sweden and Turkey, have long

used opt-out laws, also known as “presumed consent”, to increase the pool of potential donors. The UK government is planning to change to an opt-out system by April 2020.

In Malta, there are currently 14,216 registered donors, which amounts to just three per cent of the population.

According to a Council of Europe report drawn up on the occasion of the European Day for Organ Donation and Transplantation [this year to be marked on October 12], there are thousands of patients who “suffer in silence”. In 2017, more than 144,000 patients in Council of Europe member states were on a waiting list for an organ transplant, an increase of 10 per cent from 2013.

While 43,000 patients received a transplant, some 50,400 were added to waiting lists, which is the equivalent of “nearly six new patients added every hour across Europe”. Shockingly, “an average of 18 people on waiting lists die every day” due to the “chronic” lack of organs, tissues and cells available.

Kenneth and Sharon themselves have differing points of view on this issue. “I would still go for the more altruistic opt-in because that would mean it is not just about organ donation,” says Sharon. “If we nurture the younger generation to be altruistic, it would be better, so it is not imposed on you. On the other hand, an opt-out system Pink February 2019 ∫ 13

LOVELIFE

would mean that people will be saved from that difficult signature that Kenneth had to do.”

Kenneth has changed his mind about the system: “I used to say it should be opt-in as there would be more altruistic thought behind the decision. But now, I believe that it is such a big problem that it is insane to let people die and let people suffer just for this. I think the fact that you are saving lives should prevail and I am all for an opt-out system,” says Kenneth.

The campaign, which has taken local media by storm, was intended to encourage people to talk about organ donation, to become more aware of the issues and be educated about the many misconceptions that still exist.

It also served to honour Drew and people like him, who have selflessly and courageously given the ultimate gift to others.

“When our family shrank after the loss of Drew, it actually expanded as we now have a kind of extended family,” says Sharon, referring to the recipients of Drew’s organs.

While the law safeguards the privacy and anonymity of donors and recipients, it did not take much on tiny Malta for two of the recipients to make themselves known to Drew’s family. Following a newspaper interview published soon after Drew’s death, the family were contacted by the recipient of his heart.

“I received a message from the husband of the recipient, and he told me he wanted to meet us,” says Kenneth.

“The timing was not right for Christine, the recipient, to meet us at that point as she was still recovering, but we met her some time later.

14 ∫ Pink February 2019

“The relationship has been an amazing one. Christine is always saying how much she loves Drew and how close he is to her. When we first met her, our emotions were all over the place, both hers and ours. Sharon had mixed feelings because it was still new, but the more we got to know her, the more we realised how special she is.”

An emotional Sharon talks about hearing his heart beating inside her and even seeing it. “Initially, it was difficult because the reality of what had happened hit me again. There was an overwhelming feeling of dilemma, and at the same time, a new kind of love.”

The family have also met the recipient of one of Drew’s kidneys, who, thanks to the transplant, is now back to leading a normal life. It is understood that Drew’s cornea was also transplanted in Malta while the rest of his organs were sent to the UK and Italy.

Drew’s legacy also lives on at the Intensive Therapy Unit at Mater Dei Hospital in the form of The Drew Room, which provides overnight accommodation facilities for patients’ relatives and was sponsored by Rotary Club La Valette.

But it is at home and in the heart of his family that Drew continues to live forever. As the campaign gathers momentum and honours the heroism of organ donors like Drew, his family continues to work tirelessly to raise awareness about organ donation, channelling their energy and grief into something positive.

However, they point out one final taboo that needs to be addressed related to this issue: grief itself.

“There is a taboo on grief,” explains Kenneth, who openly confesses to me that only a few hours before the

LOVELIFE “These posts help me to purge my grief and they also honour my son. I cannot bear it that he has been erased from the face of the earth. I believe in using creativity to cope with personal tragedy. It doesn’t cure you, but it certainly has helped me a lot. Trying to see this tragedy from a positive perspective reminds me that there is positivity even when I am really down. I have gradually trained myself to search for some positive meaning. My posts always start with a heartbreak, but end with a positive outcome. I always try to find one.

“In the beginning, the posts were like poems written directly to Drew. There were a number of videos I made and other generic posts, which I used for my own catharsis.

They helped me to understand, to vent my anger, my pain, but they always have a positive message. I received a lot of feedback from people telling me how the posts helped them appreciate what they have and helped them to cope.

These posts help me understand myself better; they help me to move without Drew in a dignified manner.

“If I were to look at all the posts in chronological order, I would say there was a development. In the first ones, there is a lot of pain. The pain is so deep. It is a good exercise because somehow you need to release it; you need to let it out and some form of creativity is beneficial.”

Here Sharon shares post number 120, which she published on September 27, 2018, 120 weeks after Drew’s death:

“I HAVE GRADUALLY TRAINED MYSELF TO SEARCH FOR SOME POSITIVE MEANING. MY POSTS ALWAYS START WITH A HEARTBREAK, BUT END WITH A POSITIVE OUTCOME. I ALWAYS TRY TO FIND ONE” interview, he was sitting in his car crying. “We hide a lot of our emotions and try to show everything is not OK, but that life has to go on. I don’t like using the words ‘move on’ but I prefer ‘move with’ the loss.”

Sharon continues: “People think that bringing up the subject of Drew will stir up emotions, and that possibly we might break down. But the reality is that when people speak to us about Drew, we love it. We keep him alive in that way. Our worst fear is that he would be forgotten.

People speaking to us about Drew and raising awareness about organ donation is healthy. We enjoy speaking about him. We cannot forget and move on. It’s not like that.

Especially when your son or daughter passes away, it is even more pronounced. You are expecting your parents to pass away, and you are geared for that, but nobody will really prepare you for something like this, your son or daughter being snatched away.”

Every Thursday for the past 37 months [and counting], Sharon has posted a message to Drew on her Facebook page, a cathartic exercise that has helped her address her grief, but has also helped several people deal with similar traumas.

“

If it were not for the existence of the mental ability which provides me with the capacity to revisit past experiences, I would otherwise be pain free.

If it were not for the fact that revisiting the past is equally as painful as it is rewarding, I would otherwise be perfectly happy.

If it were not for the fact that each and every one of those memories are progressively becoming more distorted in direct proportion to the passing of time, life would otherwise be always beautiful.

If it were not for the missing piece of the puzzle, that had so gracefully and perfectly fit to complete the picture that took us 26 years to paint, life would otherwise be absolutely perfect.

If it were not for the impossibility for that puzzle piece to be replaced, my life would otherwise be complete.

If it were not for the pain that I bear upon remembering, I would not be reminded of your love which I had the privilege and abundance of for over 20 years.

If it were not for this same love which like today’s setting sun penetrated through the dark Bidnija clouds, my heart would glow with everlasting joy and serenity.

If it were not for the precious memories of you my darling Drew, my life would not be half of what it is today.

If it were not for my memories, I would be a different person. #loveyoutoinfinityandbeyond #legend #alwaysthinkingofyou

”

Pink February 2019 ∫ 15

LOVELIFE

“I TAKE CARE OF DREW’S SPECIAL HEART” In the words of the recipient of an organ donor’s altruism…

“

My name is Christine Grixti. My own heart was inside me until I was 42 years old. On June 10, 2016, I was given a second chance to live with Drew’s heart. Ten days after the transplant, I celebrated my 43rd birthday thanks to a very strong heart, which is still beating inside me today.

I consider myself very lucky and blessed to have had a second chance to live and care for Drew’s heart. I lived half of my life with a sick heart.

I still managed to live ‘normally’ albeit with a lot of limitations.

In my 20s, I was diagnosed with Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia, a rare form of cardiomyopathy in which the heart muscle of the right ventricle is replaced by fat and/or fibrous tissue. The right ventricle is dilated and contracts poorly thus weakening the ability of the heart to pump blood.

“FOUR YEARS LATER, MY BELOVED MUM DIED IN A MOST TRAGIC WAY AND THAT WAS THE LAST BLAST TO MY HEART. I HAD A HEART FAILURE. I NEEDED A HEART TRANSPLANT” It was a shock as I had to change my whole lifestyle. I had to undergo several tests and treatments to find the best way to stabilise the rhythm of the heart, which was worsening at a slow pace.

Thank God I found the love and support of my close family and then my husband Charles. He was Christine Grixti… “in memory determined to walk with me throughout this jourof my loving donor, Drew”. ney and eventually married me in 1999.

In 2007, I lost my father and his death had an impact on my heart. I had to be implanted with an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator [ICD] to prevent a Back in Malta, cleared from the infection and implanted sudden death as the heart was getting weaker. with a new ICD, consultant cardio-thoracic surgeon Alex Four years later, my beloved mum died in a most tragic Manché agreed to put me on the waiting list for a heart way and that was the last blast to my heart. I had a heart transplant. failure. I needed a heart transplant.

The long journey brought me to the big day – the day However, a severe infection from the ICD leads leading to the that gave me a hope to live, but yet filled me with anxiety muscle of my heart was preventing me from being placed on knowing that the waiting time might be days, months and the transplant waiting list. I had to be treated for the infection even years and that, in the meantime, I was dying. My heart immediately. It was risky to operate. Oral and implanted antibiwas three times its normal size and needed to be changed. otics were not enough. In 2013, I was flown to Pisa for an operThe limitations to live ‘normally’ increased drastically. It ation to remove the infected leads from the muscle of the heart. was difficult for me to climb the stairs, enjoy a nice walk It was a very difficult time for me. I was still mourning with my husband, do basic housework, such as making the my parents; I was living in another country with my husbed or picking something up off the floor. I also had a light band and undergoing two operations in one month. stroke and I was not allowed to drive.

16 ∫ Pink February 2019

LOVELIFE The medical staff made it possible for me to keep calm during that night as, emotionally, I was not doing well. I had mixed feelings. Part of me was happy to be waiting for a new heart, however, I was feeling sorry for the person who passed away and his or her family.

My husband Charles and my brothers Jesmond and Norman stayed with me throughout the night, and the following morning, other members of my family joined to wish me good luck. Everyone wanted me to be happy and to live a better life, but everyone knew that the operation was a major one and I had a very high risk of not making it.

Just before I was led into the operating theatre, we all prayed together with the priest. I kissed everyone and promised them that I would be seeing them, but next time, with a stronger heart.

“DURING MY RECOVERY, I HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT MY NEW LIFE; TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON INSIDE ME AND MY THOUGHTS FELL ON MY DONOR AND HIS OR HER FAMILY, WHO ACTUALLY SAVED MY LIFE” I was living day by day, worsening day after day; seeing myself drifting away from my loved ones, but still feeling hopeful that my prayers would be heard.

And my prayers were heard. After three years of waiting for a healthy heart, the longest and toughest years of my life, on June 9, 2016, at 2pm, I received that long-awaited phone call. Although I always thought I was ready for the call, I never imagined how I would react until it came. That short telephone conversation was the longest and most heartbreaking one. My heart could not take it. The emotions I felt were intense, the heart rhythm was going nuts and the ICD kicked in and gave me shocks. I was being saved by the shocks. That was terrifying and so frightening.

I had experienced those shocks a month earlier during a graduation ceremony. My heart was too weak to take any sort of emotion and I was passing out on the floor in front of my husband, classmates and tutors. This time, I knew what I would be going through in the next few minutes. I was alone at home and I had to find the strength to call my husband, who was at work, to come for me and take me to hospital immediately.

So many thoughts were going through my mind at that moment. I was very anxious that my heart was reaching its end. No, not now! There might be a matching heart. I need to go to hospital. I was becoming tenser when, for a second, the thought occurred to me that someone else must have died and he or she would be saving me. I prayed for my parents to be with me and calm my heart down until I called my husband. I was helpless. I was giving up just a few hours before I actually had the chance. The shocks stopped and I called my husband.

A few minutes later, I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance. Tests were carried out to ensure that all other vital organs were stable enough to function without a heart for a few minutes during the operation. The results were good, and I was to have the heart transplant the following morning.

Waking up from the induced coma on Monday evening, I found myself hooked to wires and machines. The operation was a success thanks to Mr Manché and his great team. I was alive. I was feeling a heartbeat after so many years. I was feeling weak, but strong enough to keep going.

The staff at the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit were amazing, full of enthusiasm and dedication. I was monitored round the clock for seven weeks.

During my recovery, I had plenty of time to think about my new life; to understand what was going on inside me and my thoughts fell on my donor and his or her family, who actually saved my life. Part of me wanted to know more about the donor, but another part of me was keeping me away. I was still too weak to go into the grief of the loss of a person.

At the time, I was feeling confused about whether I was going to accept the heart of someone I did not know and whose body is no longer on earth.

The person has a family. I was thinking about this family.

I had lots of questions. Should I thank them? What would their reaction be? Am I strong enough to be faced with such a situation? Are they strong? All these questions were not helping me recover from the transplant, so I was encouraged to forget about them until I was fully recovered.

Unfortunately, a few weeks after being discharged, I had some complications and I was back in hospital for another seven weeks. During that second stay, I had time to read more and I came across a newspaper article about the parents of a young man who had died in June and had donated his organs. I immediately understood that this was my donor. That was so emotional.

I asked my husband to get in touch with the family and thank them for their enormous gesture. I was not yet ready to meet them at that point, but at least we would have thanked them and put their mind at rest that their beloved son’s heart was still beating.

Pink February 2019 ∫ 17

LOVELIFE Christine with her husband Charles, her “backbone”.

Charles communicated with Drew’s parents through social media while I was still in hospital and met Kenneth one Sunday morning. After the meeting, he came to see me and, with tears rolling down his face, he told me more about my guardian angel and superhero Drew and his loving family Kenneth, Sharon, Bobbie and her fiancé Wayne.

I cried my eyes out hearing about it all, and to learn that Drew was only 20 years old literally broke the heart I was carrying – his heart. I was alive at 43 thanks to his altruistic gesture to give his organs.

Why me? Why Drew? So many questions… So many sleepless nights… I had envisioned Drew in his teenage years.

He was the most handsome guy I had ever seen. I felt so beautiful with his heart beating inside me. Everyone commented that my face looks different, with more colour – of course, Drew was gorgeous and that was reflected on my face.

In October, four months after the transplant, I was ready to meet the family. No words can truly explain the feeling when I saw them for the first time, especially when I hugged them. My heart was beating so fast, but now it was a healthy heart, so it could take emotions. That was the first test on the heart after the transplant – the emotional stress of meeting his family.

I cried. We all cried, especially when hugging Drew’s mother, Sharon. The bond is there; I can feel it. We both feel it. We have something in common – the love for Drew. I gave them my word that I would take care of Drew’s heart until the end and to love and praise him forever. What a noble gesture.

Out of tragedy and sorrow, they found the strength to save others. Drew, Kenneth, Sharon and Bobbie are true heroes.

Everyone is afraid of dying. We never talked about death.

We all try to avoid the subject because it is very sad. There is no space for someone to sit down with his family and express the wish on his afterlife. But the discussion has to start at home.

Parents write a will to put their close relatives’ minds at rest that when they pass away their loved ones are given what 18 ∫ Pink February 2019

they deserve. They write a will with a notary and stop there. So, on that same basis, why not write a will to give your organs to unknown people? You just have to fill in the form once and that’s it. We need to change the mentality.

The Life After Drew campaign is trying to do this.

Organs are part of our body. Our body is needed during our life. When the time comes for our soul to leave our body, our organs are no longer needed in that body. But if healthy, they can be transplanted in other bodies thus giving a better quality of life to other people.

God wants our soul not our organs. Our body is buried. Please let us not waste our organs too; let them live in someone else’s body. Be a hero; be a legend.

Today, I have a decent heartbeat. I am living a better quality of life. I still have to take anti-rejection medicine for the rest of my life, however, I am being monitored and I do regular biopsies. I try to live a healthy life and take care of Drew’s special heart.

I consider myself a living miracle. I have been through a lot. I was close to death twice, but thanks to God, Drew, his family, my family, Dr Oscar Aquilina, my cardiologist, Mr Manché, the medical teams and my friends, I am still here.

I wish to dedicate this article to them all and especially to my husband Charles, who has stood by me for these 20 years. We cried together. I know that it has been hard on him, especially when I was dying in his hands and told him my last words: “I love you Charles.

”

DID YOU KNOW? • You have to be 16 years old to register as an organ donor. There is no upper age limit.

• You can still be a donor if you have a medical condition.

• Once you register as an organ donor, your decision cannot be overturned by anyone.

• However, if you change your mind, you can fill in another form and your wish will be updated immediately.

• Organ and tissues donation are not even considered until all possible efforts to save a person’s life have been exhausted and brain death is declared.

• You can choose which organs you wish to donate.

• The Church encourages organ donations as an act of love and a gift of life.

For further information about how you can register as an organ donor visit www.organdonation.gov.mt or www.transplantsupport.org.mt.

Organ donation forms can be collected from any health centre. Call the helpline on 2595 3324 or email organdonation.health@gov.mt to request a form which will be sent to you by post. Follow the non-profit organisation Transplant Support Group on Facebook @maltatransplantsupportgroup and Instagram @tsgmalta.

Sharon Cusens and her daughter Elisa, author and illustrator respectively.

INFOCUS

THE LANGUAGE OF THE SOUL “So, Mum and Dad split up. And now? What’s going to happen?” Rising from the ashes of the trauma of divorce, Sharon Cusens tells ADRIANA BISHOP how she designed an “emotional navigation system” to guide her children towards a new life with a positive attitude. She is now crowdfunding to publish this story in a series of three books.

W

hen Sharon Cusens broke the news to her children that she and their father were getting divorced, she came prepared with a suitcase. But she wasn’t heading for an airport. She wasn’t going anywhere at all, at least not in a literal sense. The suitcase symbolised the start of a new journey for the family, a new life, a new destination; they were going on a “soul holiday”.

A psychology graduate and change management consultant, Sharon drew on her expertise to provide her children with some kind of a “soft landing” as she prepared to break the devastating news to them.

“We had been married for 16 years. We were a traditional, conservative family, with strong family values. I did

everything to save my marriage. However, when it was inevitable that divorce was the next step, I spent a lot of time thinking how I was going to tell the children,” explains Sharon. “Instead of it being a crash landing, I tried to find a soft landing. I wrote a story for my children to empower them to go on a new ‘voyage’.”

Sharon and her now ex-husband took their three children, then aged nine, 12 and 13 years old, to dinner in a private room of a restaurant, a neutral location, to break the news.

“They knew it was coming. I had prepared them in advance that we had something important to tell them. They cried. After they had stopped crying, I asked them what was important for them. We listened to what they each had to say and empathised with them and promised to focus on Pink February 2019 ∫ 21

INFOCUS

giving them what they needed. Then I took out a small suitcase that I had brought with me. I shifted immediately into ‘entertainment’ mode and I read out my story to them.

“I wanted to empower them with the idea of a journey where their soul could be on holiday. The destination of ‘family’ was no longer there, and it was not their fault. What happened between mum and dad was not the children’s fault, but we are now going on a ‘soul holiday’.

“What gave me that power was helping my children. I got to know them more through this trauma and they got to know more about themselves and about me. It became a beautiful dynamic. We inspired each other.”

The original story that Sharon first wrote for her children is now featured in book one of the series entitled A Universal Language, and is illustrated by Sharon’s youngest daughter Elisa, together with two other child-artists Angie and Luke Bonett.

Written in a format that is easily accessible to children, the story deals with the whirlwind of emotions experienced in such a situation with hard-hitting honesty. Instead of focusing on feelings of darkness, sadness, emptiness and confusion, the focus is shifted onto that metaphoric suitcase, which is filled with hope, strength, support, understanding, clarity, courage, peace, harmony, love, warmth, stability and security to see the children, and their parents, through this new journey of healing.

Elisa interpreted her mother’s story by creating the character of Rosie, a bird with rainbow-coloured wings, a free spirit, who wants to break out of the bad weather, a symbolic reference to the sadness, hate, bitterness, revenge, emptiness, anger and turbulence that the children were experiencing.

Rosie decides to go on a holiday and packs two suitcases, one labelled anger and the other freedom. She takes off and eventually realises that in order to leave the bad situations behind, she has to let go of the anger suitcase.

“When our parents told us they were getting divorced, it was a painful day for me. My world fell apart,” says Elisa, now

“MY IDEA WAS TO EMPOWER THE CHILDREN SO THAT THEY ARE NOT VICTIMS BUT INSPIRATIONAL LEADERS. WE NEED TO STOP BEING VICTIMS. DIVORCE IS AN ISSUE THAT WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT. IF IT HITS YOU, YOU MUST REALISE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE. LET IT REDEFINE YOU AND GET UP” “I asked them to think of what we would need to bring with us on holiday in our soul. Instead of looking at the situation negatively, I took them on this soul holiday, to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, even if we go through darkness.”

Sharon’s story provided her children with an “emotional navigation system” to work through all the negative emotions of the trauma, shifting from anxiety and instability to hope and courage, and it managed to bring a smile to their face.

After listening to the story, the children were encouraged to express their emotions through art and so began the family’s healing journey – a journey that later evolved into a threebook project co-created with her children for children and parents, which Sharon is now planning to publish.

“My idea was to empower the children so that they are not victims but inspirational leaders. We need to stop being victims. Divorce is an issue that we need to talk about. If it hits you, you must realise you only have one life. Let it redefine you and get up.

“I found my strength from forgetting about myself and focusing on the children’s needs. I was in a traumatic state of mind. But what surprised me was that the more I stopped focusing on my issues of pride, sorrow, loss and change in my circumstances, the more I helped my children and, as a consequence, the more powerful I became.

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14. “On the day, the story didn’t really have an effect because I was sad that my parents were going to divorce, but then my mum read me the story again and again on other days and, together with my brother and sister, I could start contemplating it. What really did it was when I started drawing about it.

“I am not sure what inspired me to come up with Rosie,” admits Elisa. “After mum read us the story, I just had this picture in my head and put it down on paper. It helped me and I think we can help people through this book. A friend of mine, who lost her father, knows about the book. I gave it to her, and it helped her.”

Sharon explains that the book can be perceived as a “teacher’s book”, while the way the children reacted and expressed themselves through their art showed the “students applying the story”.

While it was her divorce that inspired her to write this story, Sharon points out that the teachings from this book series can be applied to any situation of trauma or loss.

“This story is not meant just for people dealing with divorce. It empowers you to get up with fresh thoughts on how to move forward in whatever trauma you happen to be going through. It offers a winner’s mindset; the idea that you don’t need anything from the external world; rather you find

INFOCUS the strength within you and in nature by tuning in to your core. This is the language of the soul.”

The book provides a “tool box” for people to deal with the trauma by focusing primarily on securing their children’s happiness first, but it also works both ways.

“While they are busy helping their children, parents forget themselves and they will come out of their ashes without even knowing it. This is a tool for children to also help their parents and when they see a happy mum [or dad], then they heal as well.”

At the same time, the book aims to raise awareness about children’s rights and needs during a divorce. “Parents going through a divorce tend to get lost in the legal worlds, butchering each other, and do not focus on the emotional needs of the children in such a traumatic situation. They need to separate the personal differences between man and woman and focus on the responsibilities they have as mummy and daddy,” continues Sharon.

The three-book series features a total of 10 short stories.

The first book contains only the original one Sharon wrote for her children on that fateful day. Story number 8 was written by Elisa. The second book of the series, The Government in My Head, features 11 cartoon characters humorously illustrating our psyche, acting as a mirror or self-reflecting tool for us to deal with our inner conflicts and understand our environment better.

The book will be co-produced with homeless people residing at the YMCA shelter and will include drawings made by them, illustrating how they intend to turn their lives around.

Sharon explains how the aim of the second book is to turn the homeless into inspirational leaders rather than remain victims. As co-creators, they will also become freelance entrepreneurs.

Book three is expected to be co-published with persons with special needs. The books are complemented by a coaching documentary, filmed and directed by Sharon herself called Love Will Find a Way. The film is intended to help people overcome the initial stages of divorce and all the firsts that come in the new life: the first Christmas, the first holiday, separation, moving out, the pain and how to pick yourself up from the ashes.

“I call it ‘film therapy’. I started making the film with no budget at all. As I told people about the idea, I started filming them. It was therapeutic for me. After three years of collecting small clips, I had 35 people helping me and contributing to it. Then I found a way to put it together into a professional film and turned it into an 80-minute coaching documentary,” explains Sharon.

Through her company, Spring Productions International, Sharon also runs coaching programmes offering empowerment, mental resilience and better self-management skills.

The entire project has already received a grant from the EU for “new and improved approaches to mental and emotional health and wellbeing”. But now, Sharon is seeking additional funds to publish the books. A crowdfunding campaign kicked off earlier this month on the Zaar platform to raise €3,000 and will run until just before Easter.

Join the project; visit www.zaar.com.mt where you can get the book at a discounted price if you pre-order during the campaign. www.zaar.com.mt/projects/a-universal-language/

A CLINICAL PERSPECTIVE There have been on average over 300 divorces every year in Malta since the law was introduced in 2011. Clinical psychologist and family therapist Prof. Angela Abela points out that parental separation doubles the chance of serious problems in children.

“

In the normal population, 10 per cent have serious problems; this goes up to 20-25 per cent with children from divorced families. Of course, one must keep in mind that 75 to 80 per cent have no serious difficulty. For many of the children affected, problems dissipate in between one and two years.

“Children of divorced parents are also more likely to engage in negative exchanges with their spouses when they grow up. Those who marry someone who is supportive can eliminate such a risk,” explains Prof. Abela.

She adds that parents need to present a united front when breaking the news.

“Children get very stressed when they are made to side with one parent against another.

Furthermore, they need to explain to them that although they as parents are separating, they still love the children very much and will always be there for them.

“Parents need to help children express their feelings after the news is broken. They need to empathise with their children’s feelings,” Prof. Abela continues.

“On the other hand, it is important for parents to have their own support system. Children should not become their parents’ confidantes.

Parents should seek professional support for them and their children if needed.

”

Pink February 2019 ∫ 23

Photography Kris Micallef

ARTYFACTS

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS The Malta International Photo Award [MIPA] culminates in an exhibition at the Malta Postal Museum for a whole month from February 16, where the 15 winning photographers in each of the five categories will display their work. Anja Goder, founder of the MIPA, talks to RACHEL ZAMMIT CUTAJAR about her passion for photography and what led her to set up this prestigious competition.

I

n a world where everyone has a camera in their pocket and life has become an endless stream of memories in pictures, everyone has the potential to be a photographer.

As a global population, we upload millions of photos every day to various social media platforms. InfoTrends estimated over 1.2 trillion photos were taken in 2017 and this figure only increases every day.

But what separates a professional photographer from a happy snapper and what really singles out one image in the stream of photos you are exposed to every single day?

It is believed that the popular phrase “a picture is worth a thousand words” stems from an older version – “one look is worth a thousand words” written by Fred R. Barnard in 1921 in the advertising trade journal Printers’ Ink, promoting the use of images in advertisements. Though the phrase was initially used for adverts, it works well in every other field and has since entered into popular speech.

Photojournalism is a way of telling a story of something that actually happened in an image, rather than in the more traditional words, and is becoming even more popular in a world where social media platforms are being used as news sources.

Anja Goder, a German-born professional photographer, is behind the Malta International Photo Award [MIPA], a premier photo award that strives to promote the art of photography from all corners of the globe.

The award ceremony, which took place on December 20, 2018, culminates in the exhibition to be launched on February 15, where 15 of the top photos in each of the five categories [Abstract, City, Nature, People and Storytelling] will be displayed.

“I am really excited about this exhibition. Many of the photographers have said they will be attending the launch and I am really looking forward to meeting each and every one of these artists in person,” Anja says.

Asked why Malta was chosen as the location for the exhibition, Anja goes on to say that she has called Malta her home for the last two years, having spent the last decade in Italy.

“Malta has an incredibly artistic heritage and atmosphere. It is a very peaceful and beautiful island in the middle of the Mediterranean, which makes it an ideal location for an international photography competition.

The international element of the award is a positive step for the island and stands for the open, forward-thinking and cosmopolitan spirit of Malta.”

With total cash prizes of €45,000 for the top three photos in each category, the quality of images submitted far exceeded the organisers’ expectations, especially seeing this was the first year of the awards. The jury, made up of seven curators, photo editors and photographers from all over the world, rank the photos to come up with a first, second and third place [with cash prizes of €5,000, €3,000 and €1,000 respectively] in each category.

Another attraction to the MIPA is a two-part lecture hosted by National Geographic photo editor Prof. Arne Hodalič. Photographers will have the opportunity to present their work during the second part of the lecture and have it reviewed by this expert in the field.

Anja calls Prof. Hodalič a colleague in the photographic industry and says: “Arne’s expertise, experience, honest character, clear mind and opinion are Pink February 2019 ∫ 27

ARTYFACTS invaluable. There have been many times where we have disagreed on certain things, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without his support and advice.

It is a unique opportunity for each photographer to reflect on their own work, to push forward and to reach the next level.”

Each and every entry was analysed by this expert team and applicants can request written feedback on their work. This is the only photographic competition that offers such personalised feedback on every entry, Anja points out.

She talks about the winner of the People category, Nation Resistance

by Mustafa Hassona, that captures Palestinians throwing stones in response to Israeli forces’ intervention as they gather to support the maritime demonstration to break the Gaza blockade.

“The captured moment and the position of the young man are uniquely powerful. It elicits empathy for a situation of a thousand-year-old conflict for which the people in power should strive to find a peaceful solution.

“It is an incredible achievement for this photographer. In zones of war, photojournalists are facing big challenges and risk their lives each and every single time they go out to do their jobs. Their work is a strong voice for the people suffering under any kind of military conflict. It draws attention to a horrible situation and hopefully leads to quick political solutions that will result in peace,” she says. This is a true example of an image that tells a story.

Today, Anja is a professional photographer with over 10 years of experience in capturing the individuality of people’s lives in enthralling images. Her inquisitive nature and innate dedication for connecting with her subjects has taken her to several places around the globe.

“What I enjoy mostly about photography is finding beauty within people and their surroundings. I try to capture the dignity and uniqueness of the people and their story. I feel like it’s an honour to do so. It is often difficult to create trust and have my subjects bare their souls for the camera. Many people are uncomfortable and often unsure in the beginning, but having a positive outlook while still being respectful leads

National Resistance by Mustafa Hassona, a winning photo in one of the categories.

“THE CAPTURED MOMENT AND THE POSITION OF THE YOUNG MAN ARE UNIQUELY POWERFUL. IT ELICITS EMPATHY FOR A SITUATION OF A THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD CONFLICT FOR WHICH THE PEOPLE IN POWER SHOULD STRIVE TO FIND A PEACEFUL SOLUTION” Anja was always interested in photography and started her career taking annual student portraits in a number of schools. “I got such a thrill from the joy that the parents and families of my subjects experienced from my work that I just knew this was where my true calling lay and went about extending both the themes and radius of my work.”

28 ∫ Pink February 2019

same dedication and passion as I have for people thousands of miles away.

I always enjoy meeting people and getting to know their unique culture and history, no matter how near or far they come from. Every person has their own story, and this is what I find exciting about this art,” she says.

Anja talks of the male-dominated world of photography, but she is positive.

“Once I get behind the lens, I genuinely don’t feel my gender. I have enormous willpower to get the best possible pictures, so that is what occupies space in my mind.

There is no room for other things.”

If you are thinking of taking up photography professionally, Anja says the most important thing is that you

to a more trusting atmosphere, where fears are abandoned and I can get the results I am after.”

Anja has travelled to many different places in search of the perfect image, however, she insists that travel has never been the goal of her work. This, she says, is a natural development.

“I have taken pictures of kids who live just two miles away from me with the

enjoy what you are doing and appreciate everything. “It is important to find your own vision and build up the confidence in your own individual talent as a photographer. Don’t feel like you should be following the trends. Trust more and more in your own fingerprint and authenticity. And most importantly, never give up.”

MIPA is to be held on a bi-annual basis, with a spring and an autumn edition. The coming spring edition is to include three new categories that will be announced shortly. With April as the date set for the entry call, photographers will have six weeks to submit entries.

WOMANKIND

HEROINE OF WAR Fear is a debilitating force that can paralyse people and weaken their resolve.

But it is not the case with everyone, and MARY GALEA DEBONO shows how terrorising tactics could also have the contrary effect as in the case of Pearl Witherington. She decided to join the resistance movement during World War II because the German occupation had roused her to a fury, and she wanted to hit back hard.

F

ear is a debilitating force; it can paralyse a person and weaken his resolve to take a stand and speak out; it can turn an upright man into a traitor, a just man into a collaborator and a brave man into a coward.

During World War II, the Nazis in the occupied countries, understanding the devastating effect of such a state of mind on conquered

30 ∫ Pink February 2019

populations, used it to good effect.

The knock on the door in the middle of the night; the fierce reprisals; the sudden disappearance of civilians; the torture chambers were all meant to instill fear and cower the terrorised, conquered into submission.

Such tactics were not, however, always successful with everyone; sometimes, they even produced the

contrary effect. In a conversation with Eric Taylor, author of the book Heroines of World War II, Pearl Witherington confessed that the reason why she decided to join the resistance movement was because the German occupation had roused her to a fury, and she wanted to hit back hard. Like her, there were many others.

Pearl was born in Paris, but both her parents were British. She was the eldest of four daughters. “I had no childhood,” she admitted years later, but even if her early years were not exactly idyllic, they were nonetheless formative ones. Her father, whose family had been quite wealthy, had squandered all the money on drink, and in 1932, one year after the parents separated, he died.

Pearl, then just 17, found herself the head of the family. She had not only taken it upon herself to negotiate with his creditors, but also to save her mother and her three sisters from destitution, she started working as a secretary in the British embassy with the limited education she had received.

When the Germans occupied Paris in 1940, the Witheringtons decided at first to keep a low profile, but it soon became obvious that their position was untenable, and in December of that year, they decided to make the journey south to Marseilles from where they hoped to be able to reach England. To cross from the occupied to the unoccupied zone without the necessary papers was no mean feat, but Pearl managed to smuggle her family across successfully.

They arrived at Marseilles hungry and penniless, but for Pearl, the resourceful go-getter, asking for help at the British embassy was the obvious solution to their problems.

While waiting at Marseilles for a Red Cross boat for which they had already paid, she again started working at the embassy. The promised boat never arrived, and Pearl sought the help of the American consul, who procured the necessary visas for all the family to go to Spain across the Pyrenees

WOMANKIND and from there to make their way to Lisbon. They then travelled south to Gibraltar, and boarding a troop ship, they arrived in England in July 1941.

In London, Pearl found employment with the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force [WAAF] at the Air Ministry, but a pen-pushing job was not the challenge she was after.

Too angry with what she had seen in France, she was determined to play a more active role in the fight against the oppressors. With the help of a friend at the Foreign Office, an interview was arranged for her with the French section of Special Operations Executive [SOE].

In a narrow alley at the back of Michael House, the Marks and Spencer building in Baker Street, a tiny doorway bearing a plaque with the words InterServices Research Bureau was where she had been directed to go. There, waiting for her, was Colonel Maurice Buckmaster, head of SOE and an experienced talent spotter, who quickly concluded that Pearl was perfect material for what he had in mind.

Not only could she speak French fluently, but it was also evident that she had the necessary qualities – she was self-reliant, resourceful and motivated, quick to take difficult decisions yet cautious. Above all, she had the necessary sangfroid, an indispensable ingredient for survival as a secret agent.

Buckmaster told her to return to the Air Ministry and wait for a phone call. When it came, she was ordered to go to Wanborough Manor for probation and training where for several weeks she was observed day and night in order to assess her behaviour. She found it difficult to master Morse code, but in handling weapons, she was described as “the best shot” and had no problems with parachute training.

Her family was baffled seeing her returning home one day in a WAAF and the next in a FANY [First Aid Nursing Yeomanry] uniform, and they could not make out what was happening.

Then, one moonlit night in September 1943, she disappeared.

She had gone to RAF Tempsford from where she boarded a plane to take her to France, where she was dropped by

Pearl with her fiancé, Henri Cornioley.

“THE HARASSMENT AND DAMAGE INFLICTED ON THE ENEMY WAS SO EFFECTIVE AND DEVASTATING THAT THE GERMANS OFFERED A PRIZE OF A MILLION FRANCS FOR ANY INFORMATION LEADING TO HER CAPTURE AND ARREST, AND PICTURES TO IDENTIFY HER WERE PASTED ALL OVER THE AREA” parachute at the agreed spot. In spite of a high wind, she landed safely with the micro photographed orders sewn into the hem of her skirt. They were for her chief, Maurice Southgate, commanding officer of the Stationer Network, whom she had already known in London, but minus her suitcase which was later retrieved from a nearby lake.

The following day, Southgate drove Pearl to a nearby farm where the next day, to her surprise, she found a second man, whom she had already known, expecting her. It was Henri Cornioley, the young man to whom she had been secretly engaged four years previously when she was living in Paris. Henri had been captured and imprisoned by the Germans, but he had escaped and joined the resistance movement.

Southgate was responsible for coordinating the work of armed resistance groups operating across a vast area in central and south-west France. Code-named “Marie” and posing as a cosmetics saleswoman, Pearl’s task was to act as a courier to coordinate the various activities between the maquisards [members of the French resistance] spread all over the area.

This was no easy task and the risks were great. Apart from the physical discomforts – she often had nowhere to sleep at night, which took its toll on her health – she was subjected to checks by both the French militia and the Gestapo. “I’d far sooner be here than sitting in an office,” she wrote back to London headquarters nevertheless.

When Southgate was recalled to London by SOE for instructions Pink February 2019 ∫ 31

WOMANKIND regarding the imminent D-Day landings, she remained in France, providing weapon training to new recruits and organising reception parties for the retrieving of drops of arms and ammunition – a complicated and hazardous undertaking that required careful planning.

In May 1944, Southgate was arrested by the Gestapo and his circuit was divided into two. Women were not trained to take command of units, but Pearl had already proved that she possessed all the qualities of leadership and was the obvious choice to replace him. Code-named “Pauline”, she was put in charge of one group, the Wrestler network, made up of between 1,000 and 3,000 men.

movement of German forces by sabotaging the main railway line between Bordeaux and Paris, destroying telephone communications and effectively putting the German signals out of action as well as derailing trains carrying troops heading for the war front in the days before D-Day. British military historian M.R.D. Foot, who wrote the history of SOE France, writes: “Rail cuts were a speciality of hers.” The harassment and damage inflicted on the enemy was so effective and devastating that the Germans offered a prize of a million francs for any information leading to her capture and arrest, and pictures to identify her were pasted all over the area.

“SHE HAD COME CLOSE TO BEING CAPTURED BY THE GERMANS, BUT MANAGED TO ESCAPE HIDING IN A CORNFIELD, MOVING ONLY WHEN THE GRASS MOVED IN THE WIND UNTIL THEY LEFT THE AREA”

Pearl in 2002.

It has often been argued that battles are fought and won only by military battalions and resistance groups are apt to be ineffective amateurs, who often put the civilian population at risk. However, in the run-up to the D-Day landings, which was a crucial moment for the Allies, they definitely contributed to shorten the war by harassing the enemy, inflicting damage on communication and delaying the arrival of enemy soldiers where they were needed.

The target of Pearl’s Wrestler unit was precisely this – to disrupt the 32 ∫ Pink February 2019

Pearl’s guerrilla tactics did not come to an end with the D-Day landings, which took place on June 6, 1944. Two days later, a heavily armed German division set out from the south of France, heading north to join and reinforce their comrades fighting in Normandy.

Pearl’s unit was instructed to hold it up as long as possible, and on June 11, a fierce battle lasting 14 hours was fought between the 2,000-strong German division and 140 French maquisards, armed only with light weapons and improvised bombs,

but well trained in guerrilla tactics.

The Germans lost 86 men and the French 24, which included also some civilians.

In later years, Pearl refrained from talking about her war exploits, but in 1997, she agreed to give a series of interviews to journalist Hervé Larroque, which were published and later translated into English, becoming the basis for Kathryn Atwood’s biography. In it, Pearl narrates how, on that occasion, she had come close to being captured by the Germans, but managed to escape hiding in a cornfield, moving only when the grass moved in the wind until they left the area.

After this exploit, the unit regrouped and launched several guerrilla assaults, wreaking havoc among the German columns on their way north. It is estimated that 1,000 German soldiers were killed by this unit. When the American army arrived, Pearl also assisted in the surrender of 18,000 German troops.

Mission accomplished, in 1944, Pearl returned to London with Henri whom she married in September of that year. Their daughter, Claire, was born a year later. After the war, she had a long career with the World Bank in Paris.

Pearl received various decorations.

The French made her a Knight of the Légion d’Honneur and awarded her the Croix de Guerre and the Médaille de la Résistance. She was recommended for the award of the Military Cross, but as a woman, she was ineligible and was offered instead the MBE [civil], which she returned back with a dignified note stating that “there was nothing remotely ‘civil’ in what I did. I did not sit behind a desk all day”.

She was later awarded a military MBE, which was upgraded in 2006 to a CBE. “We should have done this a long time ago,” the Queen declared.

But what she appreciated most was the Royal Air Force Parachute Wings, which had been denied to her for decades because of a technicality.

Pearl died, aged 93, in a retirement home in the Loire valley in France in 2008.

SHOWSTOPPER Dress, €54, Marks & Spencer.

WANTING AND WAITING FOR SPRING

YOU CAN STILL BLOSSOM WHILE BRAVING THE BITING COLD…

Photography Andre Gialanze Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] Hair Robert Agius Make-up Marlene Vassallo Model Hanna @ Supernova MM

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SHOWSTOPPER Dress, Oltre [on sale] ∫ shoes, model’s own.

Pink February 2019 ∫ 37

SHOWSTOPPER Dress, €49, Debenhams ∫ booties, €75, Charles & Keith.

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SHOWSTOPPER Dress, Lilly Mae [on sale].

Pink February 2019 ∫ 39

SHOWSTOPPER

Dress [worn back to front], €47.50, Marks & Spencer ∫ Dsquared2 reading glasses, €155, O’hea Opticians.

Dress, €79.99, Cortefiel.

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SHOWSTOPPER

Dress, €274.99, Pedro del Hierro ∫ Roberto Cavalli spectacles, €214, O’hea Opticians.

Pink February 2019 ∫ 41

SHOWSTOPPER Shirt dress, €235, Karen Millen.

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RELATIONTIPS

TICKET FOR ONE ADRIANA BISHOP goes on the occasional date night with “me, myself and I” and maintains that this, together with solo travel, is nothing short of therapeutic.

T

he month I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, I donned a chic little black dress, a pair of vertiginous heels and took my plush velvet seat in the dress circle at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden. I was on a date, but not with my husband – with myself.

Now, before you start offering me the contact details of marriage counsellors, let me quickly tell you that this was actually my husband’s gift to me. More than a ticket to the opera [which he is not so keen on], it was a ticket to 24 hours of solitude, possibly the ultimate luxury for any busy mum.

The first time I travelled alone without my husband and then toddler son for one night, I left them reams of written instructions and spent my 24 hours of ‘freedom’ wracked with guilt for having abandoned my duties. I have always had a strong independent streak and would think nothing of booking a theatre ticket just for myself if no one else wanted to join me. Having a family somewhat changed my perspective on solo outings and certainly on solo travel unless it was business related.

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Once I got over the guilt and realised that my children could still survive without me, I started seeing these little escapades as not selfish but necessary for myriad reasons.

When was the last time you pulled the plug on your whirlwind schedule and declared a time out? When did you last enjoy some good quality me-time on your own? When my children were babies, a toilet break without an audience was the most I could aspire to. These days, an occasional date night with me, myself and I is nothing short of therapeutic.

However, it seems that many women still find it awkward to even consider going out for dinner alone, let alone travelling solo. It may have something to do with the fact that we Maltese are innately sociable and actually love having company. But spending time alone need not be perceived as something ‘sad’.

Going to a café in broad daylight is one thing; lunch on your own is totally normal; dinner for one is pushing the boundaries of social conventions especially on tiny Malta; and a woman having a drink on her own in a bar is just sending the ‘wrong’ message, apparently. And that’s not just in Malta.

RELATIONTIPS A female executive travelling on business recently revealed how staff at her usual favourite New York eatery mistook her for a high-end escort when she tried to eat dinner at the bar on her own. Staff asked her to move to a table while allowing a man to be served dinner at the bar.

“They had classified me, marginalised me, relegated me to the corner by the loos simply because I was an unaccompanied woman,” remarked Clementine Crawford in an essay she wrote about the incident.

I cannot say I have ever had such an experience, but whenever I do travel alone, I find I am particularly selective about where I eat dinner.

Part of me revels in the freedom of solo dining without having to take into account anybody else’s dietary requirements or wishes. The other part of me still clings to conventions and I invariably end up choosing a restaurant based on its perceived ‘safety’ for a solo female diner.

Cities, Four Seasons and the Pleasures of Solitude, she travels to Paris, Istanbul, Florence and New York on her own, documenting how to spend time alone productively.

In her introduction, she points out how “alone time is an invitation, a chance to do the things you’ve longed to do”.

Part travel guide, part psychological treatise, she highlights how “it’s good to be alone every now and then”.

It was all I needed to hear. Pushing aside any lingering feelings of guilt about abandoning my family once more, I booked myself another weekend break to Florence. I brought Rosenbloom’s book with me and read her experience of the city on my way there.

Florence is forever thronged with tourists, but as I stood contemplating the ridiculously long queue for the Duomo, I felt invisible. I stepped away from the crowds, found a quiet seat at a nearby café on the edge of the piazza and spent a happy hour just people watching while sipping a Negroni, that quintessential Florentine cocktail.

Later, as I joined more crowds crawling through the Uffizi Gallery, I was free to slip in and out of groups huddled

“ONE THING I LOVE TO DO WHILE TRAVELLING SOLO IS ORDERING A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE AT A BAR. IT INSTANTLY MAKES YOU THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM! EVERYONE WILL BE WONDERING WHAT YOUR STORY IS” Freedom is the single biggest benefit of a solo holiday. Whether it is an overnight in Gozo, a weekend break in London, or a full-blown trek halfway across the globe, travelling on your own is pure joy.

Yes, I assure you, I have plenty of friends and I am not averse to enjoying their company. Ditto my family and we have great family holidays.

But the highlights of my year are always those short trips alone – not for business, not to visit my parents, not for any reason other than freedom. Unencumbered by anyone else’s itinerary, I am free to roam at my own pace; I am free to stop whenever I want. This freedom intensifies the experience and gives me the time to really take in the details. It gives me a heightened sense of wonder and observation.

I am lucky enough to live a three-hour train ride away from Milan, so every couple of months, I book myself into a cheap but central [read: safe, those conventions still hold] hotel for a night and immerse myself into its elegant streets. On one of my more recent visits, I ignored the swarming crowds jostling for the best selfie in front of the Duomo’s exquisite marble façade and zoomed in on a particular detail of its central bronze door.

Over the decades, visitors had consistently touched particular spots on some of its lower panels, eroding the bronze on baby Jesus’ face, his hands and his knee in a third panel showing the flagellation of Christ. I had walked past the Duomo countless times before, but this was the first time I had the freedom to stop and take in these details. No one was pulling my hand in the direction of the nearest ice cream stall; no one was urging me to rush on to the shops.

The time was all mine to manage and enjoy as I pleased.

Stephanie Rosenbloom, a staff columnist for The New York Times travel section, wrote a book about her solo travels and how to relish being alone. In Alone Time – Four

round their tour guides, catching pieces of information from one guide, then from another. I was totally ignored [being just over five-foot-nothing has its advantages sometimes] as I politely pushed my way to the front and found myself standing right opposite Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus.

I stood there silently for some 15 minutes, contemplating the magnificence of a masterpiece I had seen so many times before in books and on any form of merchandise you can imagine. This was the real thing. I had one chance to view it and I was going to make the most of it. No one disturbed me.

No one asked me to “move along”. I shut out the hubbub around me. Just like Rosenbloom, I was alone with Venus.

Kate McCulley, aka Adventurous Kate, turned her love for travel into a full-time job and is now recognised as one of the world’s most influential solo female travel bloggers [www.adventurouskate.com]. Originally from Boston, she has travelled to 77 countries, including Malta. She too sees solo travel as the “ultimate freedom”.

“I can go after my own dreams, not someone else’s,” points out Kate. “Travelling alone can be scary the first time, but you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll grow to love it.

One thing I love to do while travelling solo is ordering a glass of champagne at a bar. It instantly makes you the most interesting person in the room! Everyone will be wondering what your story is.

“I think women feel guilty for not only travelling solo but doing literally anything for themselves because we are raised to be nurturers and to put everyone else’s needs ahead of our own. It’s OK to travel. You’re not a horrible person because you want to treat yourself to something special. You’re broadening your own horizons and hopefully leaving the world a better place as a result.”

Off you go then. Your time alone awaits only you.

Pink February 2019 ∫ 45

If so, please apply at: paddypowerbetfair.jobs

PINKSHRINK

TEEN LOVE

The way teens date and fall in love today may have changed due to technology and social media, but it is still as popular as ever. Dott. EDWARD CURMI consoles worried parents that the positives far outweigh the negatives in these uncomfortable scenarios.

M

ost parents cringe at the thought of their teen dating or falling head over heels in love with another teen. However, teen love is a natural process and that moment when adolescents seek new romantic relationships with someone other than the unconditional love and bond of their parents.

This is a healthy transition in their identity, especially if done in a moderate and responsible way, as it may enhance their development and maturity.

HAS TEEN LOVE CHANGED WITH THE NEW GENERATION? The adult population are often questioning whether today’s teenagers are falling in love in the same way as they did. We are aware that adolescents today are making more use of social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram to boast their romantic teen love successes or failures. Also, it is still too early to understand the real longterm effects on teen love of more availability of pornography, sexting and using specific apps to have casual sex encounters.

What we are certain about is that teen love is just as popular – if not more – as it used to be for past teenagers. Today’s adolescents still have a strong need to fall in love and share tender moments in their teenage years.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO START DATING? Most parents often ask what the right age for their children to start dating is. Research studies are indicating that in most developing countries, teen dating commences for a small percentage around the Pink February 2019 ∫ 47

PINKSHRINK age of 13; by the age of 16, most adolescents have had at least one short-term romantic relationship, while by the time they reach 18, they are likely to be in a strong relationship that can easily last up to six months.

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT TEEN DATING? Most parents are curious to understand exactly what teen love means to their adolescent children.

Well, many feel they should try it out or else feel emarginated or like outcasts when they compare themselves to their peers. But of course, there is nothing wrong if adolescents choose not to be interested in romantic relationships in their early teens.

“12 AREAS IN THE BRAIN ARE WORKING AT THE SAME TIME WHEN AN ADOLESCENT FALLS IN LOVE, AND THIS CAN OFTEN LEAD TO A BURST OF CHEMICALS SUCH AS SEROTONIN, DOPAMINE AND ADRENALINE” Teen love is usually perceived by experts in the field as a series of events that progress steadily from an innocent love to an intimate relationship. Usually, it all starts with an intense sharing of ideas and getting to know one another. Many hours are often spent chatting away and getting to know one another.

More often than not, this love progresses to rituals such as kissing and holding hands as two persons become an item.

As teens grow up, their need to try new relationships increases and so does their sexual appetite.

Progressively, the exchange of messages and content of their conversations deepens and becomes more sexual. By the time they reach 18, most teens have experienced some form of sexual contact or sexual intercourse and relationships start to become more of a commitment. The type of love seems more lasting than a fling, and as it progresses, most youths start seriously considering living forever with their partner.

What we definitely know is that teen love is an emotional rollercoaster ride made of ups and downs.

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It has the power to build emotional intelligence and is the perfect time for an adolescent to learn a thing or two about life. On the one hand, euphoric moments are experienced as the teenager feels a strong boost of self-confidence when managing to conquer the person they are attracted to, while on the other, a strong sense of loss and inferiority may occur as heartache kicks in.

From a biological perspective, throughout the years of teen love, so much change is going on as the body and mind are developing at an incredible rate. This is a time when growth spurts, sexual organs and hormones are changing constantly.

Most adolescents feel physically and socially awkward as all these changes are not necessarily happening in a congruent way.

Studying the brain scans of a youth, it is evident that the prefrontal cortex, the area related to judgement, decision making and temptation, is not fully developed.

Such a phenomenon can result in more impulsive behaviour and loss of inhibitions, which can spell disaster when it comes to relationships.

Hormones in adolescents is another ball game, where testosterone in males and oestrogen in females increase drastically in the blood stream. These increases may often result in a strong desire for aggression and impulsiveness, which can often create a number of confusing thoughts about wanting to be ‘in’ or ‘out’ of love.

One very interesting study by Ortigue [2010] shows that 12 areas in the brain are working at the same time when an adolescent falls in love, and this can often lead to a burst of chemicals such as serotonin, dopamine and adrenaline.

All these biological changes may often complicate the life of adolescents as they progress through their teen relationships.

They may also lead to terrible mood swings and low moods, with possible changes in behaviour that may make romantic teen love more complex to understand.

However, it is not all bad. Most adults will describe their teen love days as the best days of their life. In fact, research clearly indicates that when teens fall in love, they seem to get less but better-quality sleep. They feel they can concentrate more and feel more alive and energetic.

Romantic teen dating helps them to grow psychologically as they learn more about themselves and others.

It gives them experience about mate selection and the chance to take risks and new challenges in their life.

The positives definitely outweigh the negatives, and as development psychologist Erik Erikson [1968] once stated: teen love is an essential ingredient to identity formation and development.

So, if you are one of those parents panicking about your son or daughter’s teen dating, buckle up as it is going to be a bumpy ride, but try to focus on all the positive changes that are about to happen. After all, love makes the world go around.

Dott. Edward Curmi is a registered clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and author of the book Common Sense: a Better Understanding of Emotional Well-being, and its sequel More Common Sense: a Better Understanding of Emotional Wellbeing, available from Agenda Bookshops.

PINKPROMO

FROM A DREAM TO REAL ESTATE

Mother of three, Margaret Muscat, a sales team leader at Engel & Völkers Sara Grech – Malta, tells Pink how she got to where she is, and how a job in real estate, with its flexible work arrangements, can help women with an entrepreneurial spirit get out of the house to hunt down and realise their dreams.

This is her success story.

“I

was born and lived all my life – I’m 45 – in Mgarr, a rural village with a closeknit community, where my family and I lived off the fields and entrepreneurship ran through our veins.

After going through primary and secondary education, I satisfied my urge to run my own business, and at the age of 17, I owned a village grocery store, which proved to be a relative success. But then I got married to my teenage sweetheart, and had my

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firstborn at 23, a beautiful baby girl.

Five years later, I had my darling twins, a boy and another girl.

Nevertheless, my adventurous spirit was not defused by all the work three children and a husband brought with them. As the years went by, the babies turned into lovely lasses and a lad, and although housework and childcare occupied most of the day, my interest in business lingered within me.

My days were packed with daily chores, and between doing the washing,

preparing meals, getting my three children to school and back, together with hundreds of other things a mother must do, I still, at the back of my mind, dreamt of going back to work and possibly owning and managing my own business.

I knew it would not be easy; although I had support from both my parents and in-laws, I always wanted to be there for my family as much as possible.

One fine day, my life grew unexpectedly richer. Going through a daily newspaper, I came across an

PINKPROMO advert which not only caught my eye but also made my heart race. Sara Grech was seeking real estate agents, who were required to be all enthusiasm for an on-the-road job, meeting people, showing them around and firing them with excitement, which I felt burning within me.

I applied for the job, having almost no knowledge of what the real estate market was, and not knowing what to expect. I was interviewed by Sara Grech herself, and she immediately read through my enthusiasm and my eagerness to join a dynamic team.

I had never been in real estate before, but being a working mum herself and managing her own company for more than 20 years, Sara sensed my willingness to learn. That’s how I got into this business – and I never regretted my decision.

It wasn’t easy. I still had to manage a family of five, when the children were still in their primary and secondary schools and when all the driving to and from school had to be done by me.

But this business I got into gave me the opportunity to work flexitime, which was shared between family and work.

I have a flair for time management, harbouring an innate hatred for wasting time. My family was never neglected as I was able to spend quality time with my two daughters and my son. This did have an impact on my leisure time, which, although not diminished, had to be somewhat different.

Enjoying a family programme on TV with the kids, or having a serious discussion with my teenagers about life, began to feature in my timetable.

Enjoying short holidays throughout the year started to be more possible and affordable, and these began to be an important and much awaited form of my new quality time with the family.

My newly acquired tasks and duties with my real estate job – listings, viewings, negotiating with sellers and buyers, mastering and updating the system and building my own inventory – proved to be challenging, but enjoyable, and I always found enough time to dedicate to these too.

EV Sara Grech is the real estate agency that satisfied all my expectations, being unique, well organised, professional in attitude

and enjoying a good reputation. From my first days at EVSG, I realised this was the kind of work I wanted to be in.

The environment is clean, bright, happy, family friendly and healthy. You can even say it is pet friendly too!

I have been with EVSG for the last seven years now. I began as a real estate agent, with all the different circumstances it brings with it. I managed to learn everything from scratch and to perfection, so much so that the central management recognised my potential and I was

characteristics of each and every member.

This helps in having a good attitude towards the team players. The team has to be led with fairness and firmness – in a way that one does not contradict or [worse still] exclude the other.

This is the secret of running a team: being humane should not be something exceptional, and firmness must be sensed from the very beginning.

A fraternal atmosphere should hold the team together, making it possible for all to tug the same rope, with the company at the helm.

“I HAD NEVER BEEN IN REAL ESTATE BEFORE, BUT BEING A WORKING MUM HERSELF AND MANAGING HER OWN COMPANY FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS, SARA SENSED MY WILLINGNESS TO LEARN” promoted to team leader of the north office, having the north of Malta as my farming area.

This is not only a prestigious role in the company, but it also demands reciprocal loyalty.

My loyalty to the company that employs me never falters, and the support the company gives me is equally strong. Being a team leader means that I take important decisions; it’s almost like I am my own boss, but within set parameters.

One thing all the members of my team are aware of is that they know where they stand with me and that they can count on me for advice and direction. Having been an agent myself makes it much easier for me to understand my team, value their opinions and appreciate their work.

Success does not come easy. Hard work, deep analysis of different situations, problem solving, reading a client’s mind with regards to fantasies and wishes, having a caring attitude, being honest with yourself and with others, and the kind of loyalty where the interest of the company is always at the back [or rather in the front] of your mind are all necessary ingredients, which are set to bring about success.

And at EVSG all these attributes are promoted with fervour.

Running a team necessitates a thorough and deep knowledge of their likes and dislikes; of the attitudes and

I have seen the market changing throughout my career, starting with Sara Grech, which later became Engel & Völkers Sara Grech. This means the market is dynamic; it never stagnates and is always renovating itself. It is a continuous trend, which I envisage will go on through the coming months and years. And our company, being the leader in the real estate market, is ready to change with the new trends, with the clear intention of not simply surviving in a very competitive market, but also keeping our pole position on the island.

”

Should you be interested in following Margaret’s footsteps with a successful career with EVSG, call on 2347 0000 or send your CV to malta.hr@engelvoelkers.com for an interview for a position within our dynamic sales or rental teams. [Highest commission rates offered on the island, along with full ongoing training and many other exclusive benefits.]

Pink February 2019 ∫ 51

WOMENONWHEELS

INTO THE BLUE TV personality TEZARA CAMILLERI finally makes it out of stressful traffic to enter the silent, smooth and relaxing world of the Mazda 2 IPM 3.

N

ew Year, new set of wheels! [Ok, I know it’s February… but the Mazda 2 is my first test drive for 2019]. Wouldn’t that be something? Changing your car every time a New Year draws near? Anyway, I certainly wouldn’t be able to afford that, but I suppose I can pretend I’m changing cars every month every time I pick up a new car to be tested.

I didn’t have time to get a brief about the car, as I normally do, before I drove it as I ran super late due to traffic [surprise, surprise] from work in Mgarr to the Gazan Zammit Motors Ltd showroom in Mriehel,

found myself surprisingly calm and relaxed as we drove through the windy roads of Attard.

There is a particular ease to it, as though you’re driving it out of habit, it’s been yours for years and you don’t have to think anymore. The gears changed from one to the next so smoothly that I almost didn’t realise they changed at all; not to mention the close-to-silent transition. I also didn’t feel most of the bumps, which is saying something, especially on Maltese roads.

The Multimedia Commander and the MZD Connect system give the car a very high-tech, modern feel. Naturally, one would compare the previous model of the Mazda 2 to this newer version, so here are a couple of key upgrades: there is significantly more shoulder and leg room for the driver and also for the passenger, making it more comfortable to sit in especially during long drives.

“SADLY, IT SEEMED MY JOURNEY TO PICK UP THE CAR WAS LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL TIME I GOT TO DRIVE AROUND IN IT, BUT FOR THE SHORT TIME I DID, IT WAS A THOROUGHLY PLEASANT EXPERIENCE” and I didn’t want to keep anyone waiting longer than they had to for Her Royal Highness to arrive. So, the photographer and I set off to find a location for some cool pictures the second I pressed the engine start/stop button.

I know that automatic cars are known to be super easy to drive. But consider that I was quite flustered after being late and I didn’t have a clue about the specs of the vehicle I was driving. Nevertheless, I

I have a slight soft spot for blue, so I was quite content with the model I drove in Dynamic Blue. It is, of course, available in other colours, namely Jet Black, Soul Red and Snowflake White. You can also opt to add a navigation system and Apple CarPlay.

Sadly, it seemed my journey to pick up the car was longer than the actual time I got to drive around in it, but for the short time I did, it was a thoroughly pleasant experience.

Pink February 2019 ∫ 55

SNAPSHOT

CELEBRATING WOMEN This International Women’s Day, the all-female choir Vox Dulcis Chorale will be performing at Palazzo de la Salle. Ahead of the concert, Iggy Fenech chats with conductor JOHN ANTHONY FSADNI – the only male member – about the choir’s beginnings and what audiences can expect.

F

ormed in 2017, the Vox Dulcis Chorale is the result of a long recruitment process that sought to bring together some of Malta’s best female choristers, aged between 18 and 30.

Their first performance during Birgu

by Candlelight entranced audiences, and they have since performed modern interpretations of medieval songs at St Paul’s Cathedral during Medieval Mdina, and a combination of jazz, ethnic and light classical music at DePorres Hall in Sliema in aid of the Alive Charity Foundation.

Each of their performances brought with it a fresh repertoire that fit their

style and the occasion, and their upcoming concert at Palazzo de la Salle, organised to mark International Women’s Day 2019 on March 8, will follow in the same footsteps.

You are the only man in an all-women’s choir. How did you get involved? I am actually the founder!

When listening to foreign choirs, I discovered a wealth of music written

“WHEN LISTENING TO FOREIGN CHOIRS, I DISCOVERED A WEALTH OF MUSIC WRITTEN FOR FEMALE VOICES, USUALLY WITH PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT. THE CLEAR TEXTURE THAT THIS COMBINATION PRODUCES IS DIFFICULT TO CAPTURE WITH MIXED VOICES” Here, their conductor – and the only man that forms part of the choir – explains the ideas behind the concert and what has led Vox Dulcis Chorale to be created in the first place.

for female voices, usually with piano accompaniment. The clear texture that this combination produces is difficult to capture with mixed voices.

I felt that such music was still largely Pink February 2019 ∫ 57

SNAPSHOT unexplored locally and the ladies in the choir seem to love this set-up.

In the beginning, it was mostly up to me to carry out most of the tasks needed to run the choir, including recruitment and choice of repertoire, as well as scheduling the rehearsals, and so on. Nowadays, some of the singers help in the organisation and come up with very valuable ideas.

My role is now mostly focused on conducting the choir. You mentioned that I am the only male member. But there is also a bit of an age gap as well.

There are different mentalities, of course, while opinions and tastes sometimes vary, but the music bridges the differences.

these various elements into a modern choral sound.

The singers come from different localities; some even from abroad. We hire premises in Floriana because it is very central, but we are not affiliated with any parish. Some parishes do, however, seek our services for special occasions, especially since some of them do not have a proper choir.

What was the idea behind the upcoming Women’s Day Concert at Palazzo de La Salle? Women’s Day was

given very little attention in Malta until very recently, and it still hasn’t reached the importance it has abroad… In some countries it is even observed as a public

“WOMEN’S DAY WAS GIVEN VERY LITTLE ATTENTION IN MALTA UNTIL VERY RECENTLY, AND IT STILL HASN’T REACHED THE IMPORTANCE IT HAS ABROAD… IN SOME COUNTRIES IT IS EVEN OBSERVED AS A PUBLIC HOLIDAY! OUR IDEA IS THAT SUCH AN OCCASION DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED WITH MUSIC” As a choir, you perform sacred music on occasion, but you are not a parish choir. How does this work?

Sacred music is a staple of any choir, except maybe for show choirs or glee clubs. Even then, however, gospel music still remains an option. I actually believe that the beautiful sacred works of the great composers should be studied and performed, while other styles of music should be explored as well. Having various genres at your disposal means that singers from different backgrounds feel welcome. Some are classically trained, whereas others have a predilection for musical theatre or pop.

Vox Dulcis Chorale seeks to blend all

THINKPINK EVENTS

holiday! Our idea is that such an occasion deserves to be celebrated with music. Even if one decides to do without the overtones of political protest that Women’s Day had in the past in some countries, it is still important for a nation to acknowledge the role of women in society and even celebrate it. For an all-female choir, it also means to celebrate its own identity.

Palazzo de La Salle in Valletta is the perfect setting for such a concert. Its concert hall is an intimate venue with a magnificent grand piano. The acoustics are brilliant too, so the sound of the choir does not need to be filtered through microphones.

What can audiences expect to see and, more importantly, listen to?

The choir will sing a variety of light classical, ethnic and jazz music, as well as some musical theatre and adult contemporary songs. Petra Magri Gatt will accompany on the piano, while Thea Saliba will host the show. I think what strikes audiences the most in our concerts is the clarity of the voices and the variety of the music. And we only perform very beautiful songs!

You have invited female activists, bloggers and influencers to be part of the audience. What is the message you hope they’ll help you share? First

and foremost, we want them to enjoy the music; they are our special guests, so it is a present to them and to the rest of the audience. But their presence also emphasises our message that women are indeed a driving force behind culture, as well as other fields such as sports and the media.

What else is the Vox Dulcis Chorale up to in 2019? Right after

the Women’s Day concert, we will start preparing more sacred music for the Easter festivities. From June onwards, we will be preparing a programme of music by Maltese composers, including pieces written specifically for our choir.

In this way, Vox Dulcis Chorale will be promoting the talents of others as well.

Women’s Day Concert by Vox Dulcis Chorale will take place on March 8 at 7.30pm in the concert hall of Palazzo de la Salle in Valletta. Tickets at €8 are available from ticket hotline 9922 1013, by e-mail to voxdulcischorale@gmail.com, or at the door.

MY FUNNY VALENTINE Award-winning British soprano and vocal coach, Kateriana Fenech, will be singing an array of musical genres in My Funny Valentine, an intimate vocal showcase at the Malta Society of Arts, Palazzo de la Salle, Valletta, on February 14. With over two decades of experience, Kateriana has chosen some famous favourites by Bellini, Puccini, Mozart, Strauss, Gershwin and Porter to name a few. In a performance of pure voice and piano, she will be delivering stripped-back songs of desire, seduction, heartbreak and unadulterated devotion. Maltese pianist Ramona Zammit Formosa will accompany Kateriana on a beautiful Steinway grand piano.

Tickets including a drinks reception cost €15. For more information, send an e-mail to info@artsmalta.org; or fenechevents@gmail.com

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