Pink (January 2018)

iSSUe159∫ JAnUAry2018

New year, new you A wAy A dAy to be hAppier

MIND GAMES & MANIPULATION Gaslighting: knowing it is beating it

Barefaced, bold & beautiful BRING ON A SEA OF BLACK AND BE IN YOUR ELEMENT

WANT TO WIN AT LIFE? Tips from elite athletes

Exclusively distributed by Ta’ Xbiex Perfumery Limited Tel: 21331553

INSIDE

January 2018

14

40

FEATURES 14 OnForm how to win at life Inspired by top athletes 20 InFocus are you being gaslighted?

A form of manipulation

FASHION 26 ShowStopper into the deep Be in your element

HEALTH & BEAUTY 34 BeautyParlour cream of the crop Natural as can be 37 PinkShrink for a happy new year 30 things to do

46

REGULARS 9 EditorsNote 10 MailShot 23 WomanKind the crown Princess Charlotte 42 GirlTalk the magic of the ordinary Just another day 43 ThinkPink beauty 46 SnapShot redefining a classic Sharon Bezzina 49 WomenOnWheels bigger and better Renault Captur

COVER Photography Gary Bugeja ∫ Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] ∫ Hair Melvin Monreal, using Screen Professional Hair Care ∫ Make-up Jean Zammit, using Inglot ∫ Model Amy @ Supernova MM, wearing dress, Miss Selfridge.

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EDITORSNOTE

When exchanging New Year’s greetings, many have told me they hoped 2018 would be better than the last – Malta’s annus horribilis par excellence. But my reaction to that is that it can’t, it won’t and, more than anything, it shouldn’t!

Because the catastrophic events of 2017, namely the blowing up to smithereens of journalist Daphne Caruana Galizia, are here to stay; their impact should continue to be felt forever – or at least until the climate of organised crime, corruption and impunity in Malta changes and we can start to give some sort of reason for her murder, horrible as that may sound.

Hoping that 2018 is better than last year is almost insulting; it’s like sweeping all our problems under the carpet. Moving on, in this case, would be a grave mistake, which would result in even more disasters as time goes by. We should never get over what has happened; things must never get better on this front; we can never let down our guard; we must never forget.

I, for one, in 2017, hardened my belief that there is no more time for complacency, and action in accordance with my principles and values is required whatever fall-outs it may bring along. It is no time to close an eye; to smile and turn the other cheek; it is no time to be civil and suck it up.

I never actually sat down to set out any breakable New Year’s resolutions, but all I know is that it is time to turn away from what is not acceptable and that there is no time to waste on anything that isn’t in line with that.

I may fail. But I thank that handful of people out there, who are succeeding; who continue to remind us; the few who are not suffering from the nation’s malady, apathy, as long as they can drive a flashy car and wear flashy clothes.

I thank these people – also known as ‘traitors’ in that parallel universe – who are keeping the torch alight in the fight to right the wrong; who continue to remind others that it’s not business as usual and that what happened in Malta, as the rest of the outside world immediately acknowledged, is catastrophic to say the least.

This women’s magazine too will do its utmost, insignificant as it may be, to keep Daphne’s memory alive, lest we are driven to normalise barbarous acts and the motives behind them.

Pink starts the year, in fact, with an article about gaslighting – a particular form of manipulation that Daphne suffered from as she worked to unveil the desperate situation we are living in. It was something she often referred to in order to raise awareness – and some women out there will be able to relate to this sort of behaviour and put a name to it once they read InFocus on page 20.

So, while we appreciate our eye-opening PinkShrink’s tips on page 37 – one for every day of the month – on how to be happy, based primarily on adopting positive attitudes, we urge everyone to acknowledge that all is not well beyond our personal lives… Even if, meanwhile, in a parallel universe, leaders may benefit from pushing their positive mantra and blinker us to buy into their feel-good New Year’s spiel.

Their words serve to highlight that this is a divided nation. Any calls to unite it are just a sly means to sweep things under the carpet.

Make 2018 the year you give those rugs a good beating. It’s time to get this house in order.

January 21, 2018 ∫ Pink is a monthly magazine ∫ Issue 159 ∫ Executive editor Fiona Galea Debono ∫ Publisher Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Printing Progress Press Ltd ∫ Production Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Contributors Tezara Camilleri, Kristina Chetcuti, Edward Curmi, Mary Galea Debono, Marisa Grima, Melvin Monreal, Lara Sierra, Virginia, Jean Zammit ∫ Design Manuel Schembri ∫ Photography Gary Bugeja, Mark Zammit Cordina ∫ Advertising sales Veronica Grech Sant [2276 4333; veronica.grechsant@timesofmalta.com].

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Pink January 2018 ∫ 9

MAILsho

THE LETTER THAT TICKLED Pı CLAWING MY MUM AWAY FROM US Dear editor, I read From Social Butterfly to Silent [PrivateEye, November 2017] with big fat tears rolling down my cheeks. What deep sadness it provoked. What memories it stirred up… memories that I had buried deep in my heart as they hurt too much to be recalled. My own mum, a teacher in her prime and still with a very active mind at 84, still studying and very willingly helping my sons in their lessons and research, started repeating questions, started being afraid to be left alone, even for a few minutes, started sitting still in her chair, looking out vacantly at the world. Dementia had started to assert itself, and it clawed my mum away from us. By the time she was a 90-year-old, she was living in a world of her own. Oh, how my heart broke, seeing this once so clever, so interesting, so affectionate and lively woman, now a mere shadow of her former self. For six years, my sister who lived with her, tended to her and most lovingly saw to all her needs. The carer suffers so much. lt is like caring for a baby, but with a baby, you get a coo or a chuckle and twinkling smiling looks as a reward. From a dementia sufferer, you just get melancholic and vacant stares and extreme tiredness that twist and squeeze your heart, more so if they are near relatives and you love and feel for them. Medicine and knowledge are helping us to live longer lives, so, of course, we have more dementia sufferers.

May God bless and fill their carers with fortitude and tenderness for they are victims to this identity burglar too!

NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD

The writer of the letter of the month wins a YSL Y eau de toilette for men from Chemimart; PLUS a selection of Deborah Milano make-up products from A.M.Mangion Ltd.

THE FEAST OF CHRISTMAS When I bought my regular copy of The Sunday Times of Malta, I immediately took out Pink magazine, browsed through it and what caught my eye was the story, Christmas Studies [PinkShrink, December 2017], by Dr Edward Curmi. It is a thorough write-up on how we perceive Christmas and what it is all about: how the waiting for the coming of Jesus and even the music affects us. The studies that have been carried out and mentioned in the article made me reflect on how important Christmas is to all of us. I also got to know that when we decorate our houses, we are creating an atmosphere where the whole street feels it belongs to one community. That’s why Christmas brings happiness to the whole world. But above all, Christmas Studies reminded me how families and friends are not only affected by material things, but also by its spiritual meaning – the birth of Jesus Christ. Thank you, Dr Curmi, for such a brilliant presentation in a popular magazine such as Pink. You taught us to appreciate the feast of Christmas from a psychological perspective as studied by others.

JOSEPH MUSCAT, FROM GZIRA

DRESSING FOR WORK While male colleagues are taken seriously no matter what they wear – and I highly doubt they put in as much time and effort as women – women remain frustrated in this field.

Should it really be this hard? But putting gender issues aside, after reading the article Work What You Wear [LifeStyle, January 2017], I realised a work wardrobe doesn’t have to be drab and I needed to come up with a solution to simplify my morning struggle. Every woman must give her office attire an overhaul by taking inspiration from the pick of the most stylish and successful working women. Whether adopting Victoria Beckham’s chic separates, Angelina Jolie’s immaculate tailoring, or Angela Ahrendts’ classic outerwear, every woman should dress to impress in a classy way. The most successful work uniforms resolve, at least on the surface, a woman’s own inner conflicts about sex and power.

Because that’s really the question, isn’t it? Dressing for the office is harder for women than it is for men. It is harder because workplaces are still overwhelmingly run by men, and women, who compete for recognition under that male gaze, must decide how willing they are to be sexy at work. Doing simple things, like paying attention to colour, length of dress, height of heels and learning how to use the shape of the body with three-quarter-length sleeves and slim-cut trousers would really transform our look and wardrobe. In the end, female fashion for the business world is not only about the right clothes, hairstyle and make-up. Like men, women must be aware of things like accent, word choice, presentation skills and even posture to project themselves professionally. Pink is a good local magazine because people love facts, especially if they can be proven. People come across a lot of articles every day, and most of the advice dished out is completely worthless, or impractical. As a result, they are always happy to read an article that reflects the local scenario. Well done! Keep it up!

PAULINE DALLI, FROM ATTARD

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10 ∫ Pink January 2018

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ONFORM

HOW TO WIN AT LIFE How is your January going? Have you stuck to your resolutions so far? Gone to the gym every day, lost two kilos, stopped drinking, or eaten vegan once a week? Are you more chilled out and generally less stressed in life? Well neither is LARA SIERRA. But she learns a thing or two about achieving these goals when she meets four of Malta’s finest sportswomen and understands what drives them to keep excelling – and never stop. Here’s some inspiration and tips from the top.

M

alta’s elite female athletes, Yazmin Zammit Stevens, 24, Marilyn Micallef, 24, masters [mistresses, unfortunately, sounds wrong] of traditionally maledominated sports – weightlifting and mixed martial arts respectively – gymnast Sana Grillo, 17, and triathlete Hannah Pace, 24, know what it takes to be a winner, and how to keep on going… when that going gets tough. They are inspirational to our everyday life.

At a time when everybody is supposed to be sticking to their New Year’s resolutions, but have mostly failed already, these athletes win, and keep on winning, even when it looks like they may lose. And if we can learn how they do that, then maybe, at this slow and dreary time of year, we can learn how to do it too – how to win at life.

All four have chosen vastly different disciplines, and on the surface, they also have diverse personalities and interests. Yet they also share common traits, which make them all highly successful.

14 ∫ Pink January 2018

Hannah is the first Maltese female triathlete to qualify for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships, where she won a bronze medal, and has earned the title of National Triathlon Champion. She is now aiming to qualify for the full-distance Ironman World Championships, which no woman in Malta has ever done.

Sana returned home from the prestigious annual Jeux des Isles with a gold and two bronze medals in 2016 and is in the process of qualifying for the Commonwealth Games.

One maximises her chilled-out mental attitude to conserve all her energy for her races, while the other ensures that she is winning at everything she does. Yet, they are both such high achievers. So what makes them so passionate about their particular sport?

“My enthusiasm comes from within,” explains Sana. “I started gymnastics aged seven. The national coach gave me a few trials and sent me to my first international competition in Germany in 2013. It was then, at that competition, that I watched all those other gymnasts

and they were amazing. I ranked close to the bottom in that competition, but something clicked and I realised I wanted to be as good as them. And now I am at that level.”

For Hannah, her dedication stemmed less from her competitive edge and more from a desire for selfimprovement. “I started with a fun run and swim during my Sixth Form holidays, and next, I tried a mini triathalon. To start off with, I just wanted to be able to finish, but I found myself improving, and that

ONFORM

“THAT SENSE OF ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL IS LIKE A DRUG” Tips from the top by Hannah Pace, Marilyn Micallef, Yazmin Zammit Stevens and Sana Grillo.

sense of really getting better was enough to motivate me to do more.

“That sense of achieving your goal is like a drug,” Hannah continues. “But I’m not naturally that competitive; I’m very laidback. Every time I achieve my goal, I think, what’s next? When I’m tired, I think about my next goal and it drives me forward. I’m laidback in everything else,” she repeats. “I’m just determined in this sport.”

Sana disagrees, laughing. “I’ve always been highly competitive in everything I do, even when just

playing games with friends. I always want to give my best and see where it takes me.”

Marilyn enters the ring. She recently pounded her competitor to the floor, winning her first ever professional fight with alarming energy, while in the red corner is Yazmin, the first Maltese to have ever won an international gold medal in weightlifting, with two gold medals no less. She has broken 53 senior national records in her two-year career. This is how it all started for them.

“I’ve been weightlifting for two years,” Yazmin begins. “I had done several other sports, from gymnastics to athletics and CrossFit, and I enjoyed them all, but the fact that weightlifting is not a usual sport for girls just gave it that something extra.”

Marilyn, on the other hand, was just looking for a hobby, she says, laughing. “When my coach suggested a competition, I thought: ‘Why would I do that?’ But I did, and I liked it, and after a year, I won my first semi-pro competition.”

Pink January 2018 ∫ 15

ONFORM

Marilyn Micallef

Hannah Pace

Yazmin Zammit Stevens

So where does their dedication stem from, and do male-orientated sports require what is considered a more masculine approach to success?

“I always think about the goal I want to achieve,” says Marilyn. “I’ll be thinking about the competition I want to win.

Would I stop in that competition? No. So I won’t stop in training either.”

Hannah too needs to focus on the goal because if you allow yourself to slip up mentally, then your power goes straight down, she maintains.

“I can’t stop,” Yazmin says about her relentless perseverance. “If I’m training, I have to finish. I’m in the routine of doing this all the time, so it helps. I just never stop…”

So much so that she wrote her thesis in between squats at the gym.

16 ∫ Pink January 2018

“I didn’t even go to my ‘buscade’.

I finished my last exam and went straight to the gym.

“And yes, sometimes, I have those mental blocks; I say I’m over it, I’m out, I’m never doing this again!

And then, in the car driving home, I think: ‘I should really finish my session!’ So, I turn back. There are good days and bad days. And the bad days are the really bad days, like panic attack days. The hardest part isn’t the physical pain; it’s the carrying on every day.”

Neither does Sana ever stop. “You have to keep working to avoid the mental blocks. Some gymnasts stop when they let fear drive them. You have to think about why you started and just keep going.”

Hannah has changed her mentality.

“At one stage, I was getting really worked up. I would have a bad session, get worked up again and have another bad session. So, I made sure I got more balance in my life. I go out, I have a drink every now and then. I no longer have an all-or-nothing approach to my sport. If I’m having a bad session, I remind myself how hard I’ve worked and how far I’ve come and that relaxes me.”

For Yazmin it’s about “just pushing myself more. This year, I went to train with teams overseas just to see what they were doing. I went to the gym an hour before them and then stayed an hour after them to make sure I was working harder than any of them.

“Two months ago, I went to a big competition and I beat the girls from

ONFORM

Sana Grillo

those countries. I won gold there, where I came sixth last year. I worked harder than those girls, and I didn’t let the problem of being Maltese and having less funding than them stop me, because that mentality would hold me back.

“I’m in the top 100 in the world for weightlifting now. You’ve just got to push yourself more.”

A sincere love of what they are doing is crucial to winning.

Motivational speaker, Gobinder Gill, in fact, explains that Olympic champion sprinter Usain Bolt had such a relaxed mental attitude because he simply loves the competition. He would not be putting on a show; he was genuinely enjoying himself.

Positivity also plays a role and links these champions in their respective

FITNESS TIPS FROM THE PROS

fields. All four have a resounding positive attitude, but don’t mistake it for simply squealing excitedly about how great everything is. They are realists; they know their training is tough and that they have to make big sacrifices. But at the same time, they don’t blame others for their shortcomings, and if they make a mistake, they learn from it.

And it’s not just their positive attitude that is key to winning. Yazmin, for example, does not think she has anything on any other weightlifter in Malta, but she just does more. It’s not just about going to the gym either, she says. It’s about getting enough sleep, stretching properly and thinking about diet.

“It’s also the people I train with and who support me that make the difference,” adds Marilyn. The support network is absolutely vital for all and they take turns to tell heart-warming stories of younger siblings doing their chores when they are too tired, parents being a listening ear when they’re on the brink of giving up, boyfriends who are by their side for every race and competition they undertake. They are all so proud of and grateful for their support network.

So, there you have it. How to win?

Be positive. Be grateful for your friends and family. And make sure you work really, really hard.

If you’re really serious about winning at life, you have to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Here’s some advice from the professionals about how to get fit and eat right: HANNAH: It’s good to understand that going for a brisk walk and a light swim are important forms of exercise too. Find something that motivates you. I would suggest cardio… but that’s obviously because that’s what I love.

SANA: Start with cardio and then build up muscle. Using your own body weight is very effective. But don’t go to the gym; it’s too boring and you won’t be motivated. Find something that excites you.

MARILYN: If you want to stay fast and light, be careful not to do weights that are too heavy.

YAZMIN: It’s super important in any sport to have your core muscles tight. Not just your abs, but your lower back to avoid injuries. If you’re trying to get fit, you need a mixture of everything. Lift weights, even two kilos are fine if that’s all you can do, and I always make sure I do the little exercises that are often overlooked like tricep curls. Don’t ever go to the gym and stay on the treadmill for half an hour. You won’t lose weight because your body just becomes used to it. high-intensity interval training [HIIT] is great if you allow your body to build up to it. Then, it is a very quick and effective way of getting fit and burning fat.

WHAT THEY EAT HANNAH

SANA

YAZMIN

MARILYN

Toast with eggs and cheese

Toast with ham

Protein pancakes

Toast with avocado and boiled eggs

Lunch

Pasta, rice, or potato salad

Pasta/bread

Chicken and vegetables

Salad with tuna/ chicken and quinoa

Dinner

This varies a lot, it’s usually massive

Poultry/fish/ meat

Some other kind of protein and vegetables

Fish/meat with vegetables and rice/pasta/quinoa

Snack

Bars and bananas, sometimes something sweet

Nuts

Peanut butter on toast

Yoghurt with fruit and nuts

General approach to nutrition

I try to keep meals balanced and eat enough to make sure I recover. I do enjoy eating out at the weekends.

It’s important to have variety in food and well-balanced meals

If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat.

I try to eat what is best for me, with a few cheat meals out of competition period

Breakfast

Pink January 2018 ∫ 17

INFOCUS

ARE YOU BEING GASLIGHTED? KRISTINA CHETCUTI continues to raise awareness on gaslighting, a particular type of manipulation that makes the victim start to question her own sanity, memory and perception – which assassinated journalist Daphne Caruana Galizia often alluded to in her Running Commentary blog, and was herself a victim of.

If you know it, you can beat it.

S

ometime last February, I was reading Daphne Caruana Galizia’s post on her Running Commentary blog about an over-the-top reaction of a particular minister, reeling to her accusations of unethical behaviour.

Somewhere in the middle of her post, she referred to, and hyperlinked, the word ‘gaslighting’.

Further on, she gave a typical example of gaslighting behaviour: “The wife confronts her husband with cast-iron evidence that he shared a hotel room with a co-worker, or that she has read his highly compromising e-mail exchanges with another woman, and he will deny everything outright and then accuse her of being unbalanced, moving from that to constant, repetitive denial and deliberate attempts at

20 ∫ Pink January 2018

causing her to doubt her sanity, judgement, or ability to assess information and situations.”

The scenario was familiar – friends of mine, who have been through an acrimonious separation because their partner was unfaithful, went through exactly the same thing, almost as if following a script. However, till then, I had no idea that the behaviour had its own terminology.

It was the first but definitely not the last time the concept was referred to in Daphne’s posts. She kept highlighting it when key people in authority tried to deny her corruption accusations by brushing her off as insane; but the way she wrote about it was as if she urgently wanted to create awareness about this sort of behaviour.

“In fact, there is not enough awareness about gaslighting,” psychiatrist Anton Grech says. “Unfortunately, it is not something that is picked up easily, even by professionals.”

Firstly, victims of gaslighting often don’t seek help because they have been groomed to believe that they, not the relationship, are the problem. And secondly, there is not enough research on the topic. “Maybe it is time that we [psychiatrists and psychologists] up the radar,” Dr Grech says.

The word was coined from the 1944 film Gaslight. In the movie, actor Charles Boyer tries to convince actress Ingrid Bergman that she has gone mad. One of his many tactics is

INFOCUS to secretly dim the gaslights in their home and tell Bergman she is insane when she notices that the lights are flickering.

From then on, ‘gaslighting’ became a colloquial term to describe this particular type of manipulation, which makes the victim start to question her own sanity, memory and perception.

The term was then made official in a book in 1980. But it was not commonly used, until 2106 that is, when The New York Times and then The Guardian unearthed it again and started using it to describe some of the actions of Donald Trump in the 2016 US presidential elections.

Can gaslighting happen to anyone then? “It occurs in romantic relationships, but also in friendships, families and at work. It can happen in any two-way relationship: doctor-patient; employer-employee; but mostly it happens in couples,” Dr Grech says. In the US, for example, many journalists are insinuating it is happening between the President and his citizens.

Gaslighters often have personality problems; they tend to have narcissist or sociopath traits – people who desperately crave attention. “They would be people – usually quite charming – who partner with someone very attractive and intelligent and then want a hold over them,” Dr Grech explains.

The abuse tends to be gradual, and can often appear harmless, or ridiculous. It could start with the perpetrator accusing the victim of overreacting and of being hyper, and then moving on to more complex messages such as: “You’re too disturbed”; “you’ve become irrational”; “you need to go to a mental hospital…”

Attempts to question the perpetrator are blatantly mocked or dispelled, and often the victim ends up talking to no one about it. “Because of self-doubt, but also because, by then, the perpetrator would have ensured that the victim cuts off all ties with friends,” Dr Grech points out.

“It is not easy to get out of it by yourself because you need to be taught the skills to regain your confidence, but once you identify what’s going on, then you’re on the way to putting a stop to it,” he says.

“What is important is that people realise this is not an illness, or a condition – once you get out of the toxic relationship, it ends there,” he adds.

The more we are aware of gaslighting, the less likely we are to be vulnerable to it, Dr Grech continues, noting that perhaps that is what Daphne was trying to do when she mentioned the behaviour so often in her blogs.

“At the end of the day, people can try to gaslight you, but it can only happen if you allow it.”

HOW TO REALISE YOU ARE BEING GASLIGHTED • You feel confused: you’re told black is white when you know it’s not • You find yourself always apologising • You wonder all the time if you are good enough at what you do • You know that something is wrong in the relationship, but can’t put your finger on it • Your perception of facts is blurred • You feel you cannot really talk to anyone about it because you don’t know how to explain it, and you believe the problems are your fault

HOW TO BEAT GASLIGHTING

“DAY IN, DAY OUT, THE DENIAL OF REALITY STARTS SEEPING INTO THE CONSCIOUS AND THE VICTIMS START BELIEVING THAT IF ONLY THEY SAW THINGS PROPERLY, IF ONLY THEY CHANGED, IF ONLY THEY WERE LESS NEGATIVE AND MORE COOPERATIVE, THEN ALL WOULD BE WELL” Why doesn’t the victim up and leave? It’s easy to say so, according to Dr Grech, but when you’re in it, you start doubting yourself and your self-esteem is eroded so much that you feel there is no future without that person and that whatever is wrong is your fault.

Day in, day out, the denial of reality starts seeping into the conscious and the victims start believing that if only they saw things properly, if only they changed, if only they were less negative and more cooperative, then all would be well.

“This is why gaslighting is dangerous – because it skewers the person’s ability to realise what is wrong,” Dr Grech explains. He recommends one course of action to anyone who feels they are being gaslighted: open up to friends and family and then seek psychological help.

Remain defiant

Trust your version of reality. Do not allow it to be altered because someone demands you to alter it. Resist and be resilient.

Listen to your inner voice

Author Ariel Leve, herself a victim of gaslighting, advocates listening to your inner voice. “If you meet someone and a voice inside you says ‘that one looks dodgy’, listen to it, rather than saying ‘I don’t want to read too much into that’.

We should trust that the little signs are revealing of something bigger.”

Stick to reality

“Let people have their alternative facts. You stick to reality,” says Leve.

Recognise there will never be a ‘sorry’

Come to terms with the fact that the person who is gaslighting you will never take responsibility for their actions.

Let go of the wish for things to be different

You want things to make sense. But they won’t. You want to feel that the other person will change. They won’t. You are the one who has to take action.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 21

WOMANKIND Charlotte to return home. It is to no avail. At 2am, the Duke of York, Charlotte’s uncle, arrives with orders from her father to take her back home, using force if necessary.

“AT CARLTON HOUSE, CHARLOTTE WAS LEFT FOR HALF AN HOUR WAITING IN THE COURTYARD. WHEN HER FATHER LET HER IN, THE DOORS CLOSED BEHIND HER, AND FROM THAT MOMENT, SHE BECAME A VIRTUAL PRISONER; EVEN THE EXIT THROUGH WHICH SHE HAD ESCAPED WAS BLOCKED OFF”

THE CROWN MARY GALEA DEBONO chronicles the life and times of Princess Charlotte: from a dull existence to escaping her father’s home to avoid an arranged marriage to the birth of her stillborn son…

W

arwick House, Tuesday, May 12, 1814. Princess Charlotte puts on her bonnet, rushes out of her bedroom and is spotted by a surprised footman darting down the back stairs.

When she emerges from the back door onto the narrow lane that connects the house to Pall Mall, it is already getting dark. A man standing at the window of an art dealer’s gallery catches sight of the distraught woman in the street and offers

to help her. The princess asks him to call a hackney cab and tells the driver first to go in the direction of Oxford Street and then orders him to drive her fast to Connaught Place, her mother’s residence.

When she arrives, she discovers that Princess Caroline, her mother, is not at home, but she is sent for as are several other dignitaries, among them Henry Brougham, her mother’s legal advisor, and the Bishop of Salisbury. All of them try to use their influence to persuade

By 5am, when everyone is thoroughly exhausted, Charlotte consents to return to Carlton House, her father’s residence, but not before declaring that she would never consent to marry the Prince of Orange to whom she had been betrothed – a declaration that everyone present is made to sign.

And before she realises, her 12 hours of freedom come to an end.

The story of Princess Charlotte’s flight from Warwick House is well documented and Alison Plowden vividly narrates it in her book Caroline and Charlotte.

At Carlton House, Charlotte was left for half an hour waiting in the courtyard.

When her father let her in, the doors closed behind her, and from that moment, she became a virtual prisoner; even the exit through which she had escaped was blocked off.

Charlotte was the only daughter of the Prince and Princess of Wales. After her father, who became Regent when King George III became too mentally ill to rule the country, she was the next in line to the throne of England. Running away from home was hardly the proper behaviour of a princess, who would, it was presumed, one day wear the crown.

The whole incident soon became public and, not surprisingly, it was politicised – the governing party was quick to point out that Charlotte’s rebellious behaviour required a strong hand to make her see the error of her ways; the Opposition took the side of the hapless princess, stressing the sad predicament that had forced her to flee to her mother’s house.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 23

WOMANKIND But there was yet another dimension to this story. The Prince of Wales had treated his German wife, Princess Caroline, with nothing but hostility from the moment he set eyes on her when she arrived in England. He never missed a chance to show his intense dislike and had further humiliated her by appointing his mistress, Lady Jersey, a member of her household – an intolerable situation for the young foreign wife, constrained to live in close proximity of her rival, who never lost one opportunity to prove where the Regent’s preferences lay.

The royal family was aware of the deep animosity that existed between the Prince and Princess of Wales, but when it was announced that Caroline was pregnant, they hoped that the birth of an heir would somehow mitigate the sad situation. This was not to be. As often happens in such circumstances, instead of a means of reconciliation, Charlotte became a weapon of war.

“HER UNORTHODOX BEHAVIOUR RAISED MANY AN EYEBROW; A DUTCH DIPLOMAT DESCRIBED HER AS ‘A SULKY BOY IN PETTICOATS’” Charlotte was born in January 1796, in the presence of various dignitaries, who acted as official witnesses. A few days later, the Prince of Wales made his will. He bequeathed his possessions to Maria Fitzpatrick, the only woman he had ever loved, but whom he could not marry because she was Catholic; he designated his own parents, King George III and Queen Charlotte, and thereafter his brothers and sisters, as the only custodians of his newborn daughter, thus depriving her natural mother of any rights over her, stating categorically that the “mother of the child should in no way be concern’d in the education or care of the child or have possession of her person”; and, to make his point clear, he bequeathed to his daughter all the jewellery belonging to his wife, which, he stated, he had bought with his own money. As a final act of spite, he ended his will by stipulating that “to her who is called the Princess of Wales I leave one shilling”.

When the parents separated and Princess Caroline left Carlton House, she was allowed access to her daughter, but the absolute authority over her remained 24 ∫ Pink January 2018

Princess Charlotte and Prince Leopold betrothed.

with the father and the mother was never consulted in anything thereafter. That Charlotte, in a moment of crisis, chose to find refuge in her mother’s house was more than just an act of defiance; it was a galling gesture for the Regent.

Charlotte had always been a spirited and lively child; strong-willed, argumentative and rebellious. Her interests included reading and playing the piano, while horses and dogs were her main companions. Her governesses and nurses did their utmost to instill grace and elegance in her, but with scant success.

Her unorthodox behaviour raised many an eyebrow; a Dutch diplomat described her as “a sulky boy in petticoats”.

For Charlotte, life was dull and boring.

Her mother she rarely saw; her father showered her with gifts, but little affection; from her grandmother, a domineering woman, who seemed to take pleasure in harassing her unmarried daughters, she could not expect much sympathy; her grandfather, King George III, was a raving madman whom she hardly ever saw as she grew older.

Charlotte was also an intelligent and observant child. Although she did not approve of her mother’s behaviour and had little respect for her, she remained loyal to her. “My mother was bad, but she would not have been as bad as she was if my father had not been infinitely worse,” was her judgement.

It did not take her long to realise that there was only one way to gain her independence and to escape the monotony of her life. She had to get married. Her father too was keen on finding a suitable husband for her before her 18th birthday when she would come of age and be more difficult to control.

The choice fell on Prince William of Orange, the hereditary prince of the newly established Dutch kingdom.

This was a political arrangement and the Regent was set on seeing it through.

Charlotte, having learnt from personal experience that marriages based solely on political considerations were innately difficult, was at first reluctant to accept this plan. She had no wish to end up like her mother.

The Regent first sent members of his court to convince her that Prince William of Orange was the best choice and then, in late 1813, he invited the Prince himself to come to London. The first time Charlotte met him was at a dinner party given by her father at Carlton House. Before the evening was over, with the guests still there, the Regent took his daughter to another room and asked her what she thought of the Prince. Relieved to find out that she was not averse to the idea of an engagement, he called in the Prince and, joining their hands together, he sealed the union.

The next day, both the Prince and the Regent visited the Princess at Warwick

House. Charlotte and William were left on their own in one room, while in the adjoining one, the Regent chatted with Cornelia Knight, the Princess’s friend.

Not much time passed before loud sobs were heard coming from the room. It transpired that William had informed her that, once married, she was expected to spend half the year in Holland. This distressing clause had been stipulated in the marriage contract that had been drawn up and about which she had not been consulted. This she could not accept, and no amount of persuasion and pressure could make her change her mind.

The summer of 1814 saw the arrival of many Heads of State in London for the peace celebrations following the defeat of Napoleon, but neither Caroline, the Princess of Wales, nor Charlotte were invited to the festivities. During the celebrations, the Prince of Orange not only neglected seeing his bride-to-be, but was often found drunk. This was the last straw.

Determined in her refusal to marry the Prince, she wrote to him telling him that she considered the engagement broken off. Angry at her insubordination, her father gave orders for the members of her household, including her friend and confidante Cornelia, to be dismissed and to be replaced by others, who were instructed to keep a close eye on her. It was this that had made the Princess run away from home. Soon afterwards, William announced his engagement to another princess and Charlotte was free.

One of those attending the 1814 celebrations, Prince Leopold of Saxe-Coburg, a good-looking, soft-spoken but penniless German prince, had shown interest in Charlotte, and aided by a friend, the two kept a secret correspondence.

For Charlotte, he was “the best of all those [she] had seen”.

Encouraged and supported in her choice by her grandmother and aunts, her father realised there was no point in persisting in his opposition. In 1816, Leopold returned to London and proposed to her. She accepted without hesitation. A marriage contract was drawn up and the wedding took place at Carlton House on May 2.

Leopold had a very positive effect on Charlotte and both seemed very happy in each other’s company. In her first year of marriage, the Princess had two miscarriages. In her third pregnancy, she seemed to be doing well and there was great expectancy and optimism surrounding the birth, which would have been the first legitimate one for the House of Hanover since the birth of the Princess herself in 1796. But on the evening of November 5, Charlotte gave birth to a stillborn, perfectly formed son after 50 hours of labour.

When Charlotte was given the tragic news, she accepted it calmly. However, just after midnight she began to complain of nausea and was in great pain; a few hours later, she was dead. She probably suffered from porphyria, the royal disease. Her mother, living in a villa on Lake Como, only learnt of her daughter’s death from the newspapers.

Charlotte’s tragic death was not just a personal tragedy for Leopold; the whole nation was in shock. “It really was as if every household throughout Great Britain had lost a favourite child,” wrote Henry Brougham in his memoirs.

Charlotte and her son were given a state funeral and buried in the family vault at Windsor.

SHOWSTOPPER Playsuit, River Island.

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SHOWSTOPPER Kimono, Marks & Spencer ∫ leggings, Only @ Debenhams.

Into the deep A force of nature.

Intense. Passionate.

Strong. Standing up to the elements.

Braving the winter.

It may be cold and dark, but stay divine…

Photography Gary Bugeja Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] Hair Melvin Monreal, using Screen Professional Hair Care Make-up Jean Zammit, using Inglot Model Amy @ Supernova MM *Most items are on sale

Pink January 2018 ∫ 27

SHOWSTOPPER Dress, Miss Selfridge ∫ top, Tiffosi @ Noos ∫ boots, River Island.

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SHOWSTOPPER Crop top; choker, both River Island.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 29

SHOWSTOPPER Top; trousers, Miss Selfridge ∫ cap, Marks & Spencer.

30 ∫ Pink January 2018

SHOWSTOPPER Shirt; jacket, both Marks & Spencer ∫ bag; boots, both River Island.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 31

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32 ∫ Pink January 2018

SHOWSTOPPER Top; skirt; leggings, all Only @ Debenhams ∫ bag, Miss Selfridge.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 33

BEAUTYPARLOUR

CREAM OF THE CROP All-American skincare brand Kiehl’s has come to a city near you. Consultations and samples are guaranteed to get you stocked up and hooked on the products your body, face and hair are calling out for.

H

ow so many skincare brands can survive side by side has always been bewildering.

And the opening of yet another in Valletta raises that question again. Except that we’re talking about the established American brand Kiehl’s, with a history dating back to 1851, meaning 167 years of experience, founded in pharmacology, starting off as a pharmacy, and priding itself on being the closest thing to 100-per-cent natural.

And there you have your answer. To the doubting Thomas in all of us, the answer is that each brand has its own unique selling point and Kiehl’s is no exception. It’s a niche face, hair and body care brand, based on high quality and a low price point. But most especially, in a world where all things natural are most sought after to combat the ‘evil’ elements in our environment, the pure ingredients Kiehl’s uses are sure to go down well.

What was started by an apothecary and based on herbal formulas eventually branched out, thanks to a leading panel of dermatologists, and today, Kiehl’s has a strong presence in the acne and blemishes department – it’s no wonder Kylie Jenner is a fan. All products, in fact, apart from the ones targeting these specific issues, are conceived with sensitive skin in mind, says Kiehl’s trainer Joanna Hunter.

But the bottom line – or rather, on the frontline for Kiehl’s – is quite simply UV defence. “This is what we consider to be the most important product in any skincare regime. And it’s the first thing we recommend anyone should go for, irrespective of the skin type and issues they may have. UV defence stops premature ageing and is the cornerstone of healthy skincare. Moreover, the Kiehl’s version is also ultra-lightweight,” Joanna adds.

Speaking about best-sellers, the Midnight Recovery Concentrate face serum is also a top global customer favourite, with 80 per cent of users noticing a difference

34 ∫ Pink January 2018

after the first try, waking up replenished and refreshed, she confirms. It’s important to slather something good on your face before you go to bed, no matter how tired you feel. This is the time when the most benefits are absorbed, Joanna insists.

The facial oil is a “wow” product, with its blend of essential and botanical lipids, including lavender and evening primrose oil, as well as squalane, the signature ingredient found in most Kiehl’s products.

The Ultra Facial Cream is another top-selling product in all of the L’Oréal Group, which took over the brand in 2000. It offers quality at an affordable price, has been tested in extreme climates and is lightweight too.

BEAUTYPARLOUR

Kiehl’s trainer Joanna Hunter.

Yes, the list of products is endless – and now, they can be found lining the shelves under one single roof in a monobrand store – the way forward for cosmetics – in Valletta’s Melita Street. If you know what you want, or if you are in the process of discovering a brand, the best way to shop is to have all its products at your fingertips and pick and choose what works for you.

And at Kiehl’s, this is a unique experience. First up, the Valletta store, one in 2,020 – a figure that is growing as we speak – point of sales, which have exploded across the world since L’Oréal took over, enjoys the typical and eclectic décor, curious, interesting and inviting.

There’s that old-school pharmacy feel to it, which is, after all, where it all started in Manhattan’s East Village.

It’s a look that reassures customers these are no gimmicks, but the fruit of medical research, tried and tested – and the fact that customers are served by salespeople in clinical white coats adds to that sense of security.

The store is not your typical full-on feminine ambience, but that all-American touch infiltrates the design, complete with the Statue of Liberty, red brick backgrounds, juxtaposed with a subtle, almost hidden floral feel, and some boys’ toys too – because Kiehl’s has a growing men’s range, which already makes up 13 per cent of the business.

The guys just love their Facial Fuel!

But while much thought has gone into the shop floor to bring in the elements that Kiehl’s stands for, the products themselves have no frills. In contrast to its market competitors, Kiehl’s is distinguished for its unorthodox marketing approach, and its simple and straightforward packaging. Most products are not boxed for a what-yousee-is-what-you-get approach – and so you don’t end up paying for the fancy outside, rather than the actual effectiveness within. All product information is, therefore, printed on the item itself, giving that pharmaceutical feel, which is, after all, the origin of Kiehl’s, and is also a breath of fresh air from all that bling.

But probably one of the most alluring features of the Kiehl’s experience, beyond the effects of the products themselves, is the try-before-you-buy concept it is renowned for. “We’d rather make a friend than a sale,” says Joanna. “It’s not only a matter of generosity, but also a genuine belief in our formulas.”

Indeed, trying first helps. It’s a word-of-mouth approach and they know they will see a return. Once you try, you’re bound to turn back for more.

So, pop on down to Kiehl’s in Valletta for a consultation on what works for you and your skin. The company does not believe in advertising, but invests heavily in sampling, which means no one walks out of the shop without products to try and test, whether they buy their own, or not.

“We like to treat our customers,” says Joanna. “And we welcome them as though they are visiting our home. We like to connect and it’s also about practising active generosity” – a concept that is evident in the charities Kiehl’s supports, aimed at children, the environment and HIV research; at giving back to the community.

With the team behind Kiehl’s.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 35

PINKPROMO

LIVE BOLDLY Revlon announces its new Global Brand Ambassador, Gal Gadot.

The actress, wife, mother, former soldier, former Miss Israel and advocate for women is feeling a cultural shift happening, “where feminine power is recognised”. It’s being celebrated by Revlon and she’s so proud to get to witness and live this amazing change.

Revlon has announced Gal Gadot as new Global Brand Ambassador, and the embodiment of what it means to Live Boldly – Revlon’s new multi-media campaign, designed to inspire women to express themselves with passion, optimism, strength and style.

The new campaign, due to be launched later in the month, will be brought to life through a series of experiential activations and cultural immersions, designed to bring women together around powerful conversations, shared experiences and a celebration of diverse beauty.

“Revlon is such an iconic and groundbreaking brand, a champion of women, and I am so happy to be part of this family now,” says Gadot.

“There’s a cultural shift happening, which Revlon celebrates, where feminine power is recognised, and I’m so proud to get to witness and live this amazing change.”

President & CEO of Revlon, Fabian Garcia, says the brand has always 36 ∫ Pink January 2018

“celebrated and championed strong, independent women in its iconic campaigns and in its philanthropic initiatives. Gal captures the beauty, strength, modernity and boldness that Revlon represents. Together with all the new Revlon brand ambassadors, Gal is emblematic of the beauty, determination and attitude that reflect what it is for women to live boldly in today’s world,” Garcia continues.

Gadot – actress, wife, mother, former soldier, former Miss Israel and advocate for women – is being joined by four additional brand ambassadors, to be announced later in the month, who powerfully represent the ethos of living boldly and will be featured as part of the Revlon’s Live Boldly campaign.

For more information on Revlon and to view behind-the-scenes content and additional announcements surrounding the Live Boldly campaign, visit www.Revlon.com, #liveboldly and follow @Revlon on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, You Tube and RevlonSnaps on Snapchat.

ABOUT REVLON An iconic American beauty brand, Revlon was founded in 1932 with revolutionary opaque nail enamel.

Today, the brand is regarded as a global beauty leader, innovator and colour expert, offering consumers in more than 150 countries a range of high-quality colour cosmetics under leading franchises, including ColorStay, Super Lustrous, Revlon Ultra HD and PhotoReady. The brand has a rich heritage in hair colour and care, including ColorSilk, the number-one consumer hair colour brand in the US. Revlon also offers a wide range of tools for beauty and nail. It serves professional hairstylists and colourists with the Revlon Professional line, offering hair colour, hair care and styling products under the Revlonissimo, Nutri Color Crème, Young Color Excel, Be Fabulous, UniqOne and Equave franchises.

Revlon Professional also provides cutting-edge education to help salon professionals around the world transform their clients to look their very best. With a long-standing commitment to women’s progress, health and well-being, the brand has a history of raising funds and awareness for women’s issues through signature programmes like the Revlon Run Walk and the Revlon Million Dollar Challenge.

PINKSHRINK

For a HAPPY new year Dott. EDWARD CURMI lists one positive attitude for every day of the month. They range from simply complimenting someone to talking to a new person and being kind – both to yourself and to others.

If we adopt these behaviours, we are likely to be happier persons.

appiness is about living a good life with a sense of meaning and deep satisfaction. It’s a state of well-being that researchers say stems from a personal attitude towards daily life situations. In the words of the Dalai Lama, happiness is not something readymade; you have to work hard for it to happen. So, here’s a list of 30 positive attitudes, one for every day of the month, which research studies in positive psychology indicate are most likely to make us happier persons.

H

than criticise them. as human beings, we are too quick to point out what we do not like about others and this only allows us to enter a vicious cycle of negativity. according to Prof. norihiro Sadato from the national Institute for Physiological Sciences in Japan, “to the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money. we’ve been able to find scientific proof that a person performs better when they receive a social reward after completing an exercise”. So, go on and praise others.

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5

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Monitor your negative ways of thinking when you are feeling sad and challenge your negative thoughts with more realistic perceptions. Psychologist Dr David Burns, author of the best-selling self-help book Feeling Good, reminds us that our moods very much depend on how we choose to perceive the world.

Think negative and you will feel negative; SwITch To a More PoSITIveLy reaLISTIc fraMe of MInD and you will notice yourself feeling more serene.

2

on a daily basis, make it a point to coMPLIMenT oTher PeoPLe’S acTIonS anD BehavIourS rather

SToP uSIng your TaBLeT or SMarTPhone aT LeaST Two To Three hourS Before you SLeeP. This might sound pretty harsh, but most research in the field is showing us that using tablets and smartphones before sleeping reduces 55 per cent of melatonin, which is the chemical that allows us to have a deep sleep at night.

find time to Thank Three PeoPLe who have SoMehow haD a PoSITIve IMPacT on your LIfe. Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of the book The How of Happiness, states that gratitude does more than make us feel good. what’s more,

it’s good for other people too. So, thanking the people we’re grateful to increases happiness all round. never stop telling people how much they mean to you and especially why. Dr Barbara fredrickson, author of the book Positivity, states that being grateful to others is one of the most important characteristics that can lead to happiness. She experimented with people by inviting them to write a letter of gratitude to just one person and share it with them. The results were that they not only felt immediately happier, but also less depressed for up to one month after.

Learn to STarT fILTerIng your worry by making a clear distinction between what are real and unrealistic concerns. usually, real worry is based on the truth, makes perfect sense and is not repetitive. unrealistic worry is like spam or junk mail; it is unhealthy, toxic, repetitive, and if you give it too much attention, it can spread like a virus in your mind.

Try and allocate 10 minutes of your day to sitting down to aPPrecIaTe The SIMPLe ThIngS In LIfe. find somewhere quiet, run a hot bath, listen to some classical or chill-out music. whatever you choose to Pink January 2018 ∫ 37

PINKSHRINK do, just get in touch with how you are breathing. This is the art of mindfulness, what the Cambridge dictionary describes as “the practice of being aware of your body, mind and feelings in the present moment, thought to create a feeling of calm”.

7

On a weekly basis, make it a point to Try sOmeThing new, whatever it may be.

A study conducted by neurobiologist Dr nico Bunzeck, from the University College of London, proved that as human beings, our brains are made to be attracted to novelty, the reason being that this releases dopamine to the brain, which is that feel-good factor that makes us so happy.

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Challenge yourself by trying to sTrike Up A COnversATiOn wiTh sOmeOne yOU DO nOT knOw. it could be your neighbour, or someone you happen to bump into for the first time. we often underestimate the fact that when we connect with others, we are stimulating our brains. Also, doing something that we don’t usually do can be invigorating.

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expLOre The pOwer Of A smiLe. most people think they smile because they feel happy, but it can go the other way as well – we feel happy because we smile.

An incredible experiment piloted by Ulf Dimberg at the Uppsala University of sweden proved that human beings have ‘mirror neurons’ and react almost instantly to the facial expressions in others. we naturally mirror the facial expressions of the people we see. so, when you smile at someone, they really can’t help but smile back at you. Try it out!

people seem more comfortable telling us what we did wrong, rather than what we did right. To bring about change, positive psychology studies are clearly showing us that we need to focus more on what we like about others, not what we despise; and naturally, people will keep on doing what they are good at.

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geT in TOUCh wiTh One Of yOUr pOsiTive ChArACTerisTiCs and use it to develop something completely new in your life. knowing your strengths is already positive in itself, but using them to explore new avenues may be even more rewarding.

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At least three times a week, DO sOme fOrm Of physiCAL exerCise for not less than 30 minutes.

There is ample research in the field of mental health showing that cardiovascular training has the power to release chemicals such as endorphins, which lift our moods.

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Once a week, make a specific effort to geT in TOUCh wiTh AnD meeT A gOOD OLD frienD who knows you well. studies conducted across different cultures around the world all confirmed that friendships are good for the soul. prof. moran Cerf, a neuroscientist from northwestern University, has been studying the importance of friendships. she concludes that the best way to boost happiness is to be very picky about who you spend time with as the best way to achieve long-term satisfaction is to surround yourself with the right people.

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Be kinD TO yOUrseLf when yOU mAke A misTAke. no one is perfect; we are all human and every one of us deserves a second chance, as long as we are willing to learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them.

we are constantly on the go in today’s fast-paced world. we spend our days trying to meet our deadlines and telling people that our life is so hectic we hardly have time for ourselves. This busy lifestyle does not give us a chance to breathe. Therefore, it is essential that you penCiL in A weekLy ACTiviTy ThAT DisengAges yOU fOr An hOUr Or TwO frOm The resT Of The wOrLD. This will give you a chance to feel more at peace and rediscover who you are while recharging your batteries.

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step outside and ADmire five BeAUTifUL Things that you never noticed before. Discover how truly amazing your life is when you begin to appreciate the simple things. we are truly blessed.

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Always try and fOCUs On The gOOD in OThers, rather than their faults. This is an exercise that works wonders with both children and adults.

The truth is that we live in a world where 38 ∫ Pink January 2018

sTAy hUmBLe. Allow yourself to remain curious about life without becoming to presumptuous that you think you know and have seen it all. Our lives would actually be pretty boring if we

did! nourishing our mind is what allows us to feel stimulated.

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On a daily basis, find the time to Be generOUs with someone. remember that in giving, we are receiving.

Adam grant in his book Give and Take proved that those people who practised 100 hours of generosity a year were happier than those who chose not to be generous.

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Before you go to sleep, wriTe Three Things ThAT yOU Are grATefUL ABOUT. Liggy webb, author of the book Thank You, talks about an experiment that was conducted with two groups: one was grateful on a daily basis; and the other chose to remind themselves about what they didn’t manage to do every day. The results were pretty astonishing, with the people who practised gratitude on a daily basis being 25 per cent happier than the other group.

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remind yourself that yOU Are whAT yOU eAT. Treat your body with respect and try to nourish yourself with food that is not only delicious, but also a reflection of a healthy lifestyle.

Become more aware about how you eat your food. we need to learn how to slow down and appreciate what we are eating without gobbling it all up. when we eat in a hurry, apart from shocking our digestive system, we are missing out on all those great tastes. food, just like wine, tastes better when we are more mindful about it.

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reACh OUT TO ThOse in neeD. Choose a good cause and take it in your stride to be kind and give back to your own community. Being altruistic not only allows us to make the world a better place, but two recent studies are also suggesting that by being kind, we become happier beings and promote a virtuous cycle that promotes lasting happiness and altruism.

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TACkLe An issUe ThAT yOU hAve Been sTrUggLing TO fACe fOr A whiLe. facing our struggles can help us reduce our anxiety and give us the necessary confidence to see the world as less dangerous. in fact, most effective psychological techniques to reduce anxiety all seem to stem from the notion of facing one’s demons through what is called ‘exposure therapy’. in simple terms, it’s about doing what we do not want to do.

PINKSHRINK Ironically, such an approach is more likely to make us feel happier in the long run.

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STop BeInG So SelFcrITIcAl. never underestimate the power of rewarding yourself for something you deserve. Self-compassion and self-love are two of the most underrated characteristics that we do not make enough use of.

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learn to TAke A GenuIne InTereST In THe lIveS oF oTHerS. Get curious and learn more about what makes people happier in life through compassion. listen carefully, without the need to judge or gossip about others. research suggests that the secret to long-term happiness does not lie in fame and fortune, but rather in what we can give: gifts of time, gifts of love and even gifts of ourselves.

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Do noT wASTe your TIMe TryInG To Be In conTrol oF THe worlD. perfection is impossible and can only lead to unnecessary disappointment. pursue excellence without being too hard on yourself and the world around you. learn to stop living in the past or future as the past is gone and the future only leads to uncertainty. The best way is to stay focused in the present moment.

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cHooSe To puT your SMArTpHone or TABleT AwAy wHen you Are ArounD your loveD oneS. There is no denying that social media has a huge impact on the way we interact with others and ourselves. As much as it has improved certain aspects of life, it has also ruined the basics of what we all know to be good communication. Stop chatting or taking a selfie and look around you to appreciate what you’ve got. learn to give your full undivided attention to those who mean so much to you.

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never unDereSTIMATe THe IMporTAnce oF Sleep as it is the basis of mental

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health. The university of pennsylvania found that people who did not sleep more than five hours a night for one week reported feeling more depressed, irritable and mentally exhausted. when they resumed normal sleeping patterns of seven to eight hours, they reported a dramatic improvement in their mood. Make it a resolution to start sleeping a minimum of six to eight hours and, where possible, go to bed one hour earlier than usual.

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cArInG AnD SHArInG are two important human virtues, especially if happiness to us means living a longer life. Steve cole and Barbara Fredrickson, in their latest study on happiness, found out that if we live a life rich in compassion and altruism, we are bound to create chemistry in our body that can protect us from certain diseases. Also, positive psychologists Martin Seligman and ed Diner confirmed that connecting in a positive way with others may speed up recovery from disease.

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never STop DreAMInG about what you want to achieve in life. It is the first step towards obtaining your ultimate goal. Allocate a certain amount of time a week to pursuing a dream and plan ways to achieve it.

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All the research on happiness is telling us that what matters in life is having MeAnInGFul relATIonSHIpS. An ongoing longitudinal study, conducted by Harvard university, confirms that being around family or good friends is what makes us happy. we need to realise that connecting with meaningful people is what matters the most.

Dott. Edward Curmi is a registered clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and author of the book Common Sense: a Better Understanding of Emotional Well-being, and its sequel More Common Sense: a Better Understanding of Emotional Wellbeing, available from Agenda Bookshops.

TIME TO BLOOM Gucci’s first fragrance by Alessandro Michele celebrates the authenticity, vitality and diversity of the women he designs for.

The first Gucci fragrance developed wholly under Alessandro Michele’s creative vision encapsulates a modern philosophy that is the guiding vision for the House.

Flowering from the authentic spirit of the women Michele champions is an attitude of freedom to be who you want to be. Mixed with the colour, decoration and pattern of the creative director’s design canon, the women he dresses are flourishing in a natural, expressive and individual way: they are in bloom.

“I wanted a rich white floral fragrance, a courageous scent that transports you to a vast garden filled with many flowers and plants, a bouquet of abundance. The garden is as beautiful as women are; colourful, wild, diverse, where there is everything. Gucci Bloom smells of this garden in order to travel to a place that is not there,” Michele says.

Gucci Bloom celebrates the authenticity, vitality and diversity of the women he designs for, and those that identify themselves in his vision. True to who they are, these young women experience life and its fruits, blooming into their real selves. They convey their personal point of view without conventional limitations. They live for memorable experiences, to create stories and connect and be inspired by the objects, culture and art they choose to be surrounded by.

Architect of every element of the scent, Michele has infused Gucci Bloom’s idea of lushness, life and vigour in each fragrant note, the dreamy campaign and its unconventional design.

THE SCENT Blended by master perfumer Alberto Morillas, with direction from Michele, the fragrance is created to unfold like its name. The creative director envisioned the scent as a thriving

PINKPROMO

Petra Collins, Hari Nef and Dakota Johnson, below with Alessandro Michele.

garden, full of diverse types of flowers and the rich perfume it emits.

Authenticity is woven through qualitative, highly-concentrated natural ingredients.

Notes blossom out like a concentration of flowers. Natural Tuberose Absolute, harvested from India, is interlaced with natural Jasmine Absolute. Jasmine bud extract is obtained through an exclusive method of co-extraction that blends a natural quality of jasmine and captive molecules to impart a fresh green and petal scent on the skin.

Gucci Bloom also features notes of another plant used in perfumes for the first time, the Rangoon Creeper. Discovered in South India, the Rangoon Creeper embodies the new scent’s concept and name, as it changes colour from white, gradually darkens to pink, then finally to red when it blooms. The vine’s flowers are redolent with a slightly powdery feminine floral perfume.

THE DESIGN An arbiter and seeker of beauty, Michele ideated a flacon and packaging that encapsulates the fragrance’s spirit dedicated to the diversity of women.

“The bottle is not feminine to seduce men, but to keep the women who wear the perfume company. Retro and tender because of its colour, with clean, slender lines, and not crafted in transparent glass, it is instead lacquered, reminiscent of porcelain, a material that I love very much,” he says.

A vintage powder pink shades the lacquered square-shaped bottle, appliquéd with the Gucci label, ribbed and framed in black. The outer carton is covered inside and outside in a herbarium – a red and white toile de Jouy House print of leaves, cherry branches and flowers framed in black.

THE CAMPAIGN Encapsulating the very meaning of Gucci Bloom, the campaign’s idea is revealed through the contemporary women of Gucci: actress Dakota Johnson, actress and model Hari Nef and artist Petra Collins. Friends of Michele, they have a special connection with the House, their talent resonating with Gucci’s new vision.

Their diverse individual beauty is shot by Glen Luchford, allowing them to radiate in the campaign’s transformative setting. They wear Gucci Bloom during their day in the city, and it changes the surrounding urbanity into an imaginary stroll in a fantastical English garden: tea on a sidewalk flourishing with blooms; walking in an apartment overgrown with verdant plants; and swimming at dusk in a lake, entangled in shimmering flowers and reeds.

Dancing, strolling, rejoicing in being free and full of life, this trio embodies Gucci’s new vitality and the captivating, transporting nature of Gucci Bloom.

Pink January 2018 ∫ 41

GIRLTALK THE VIRGINIA MONOLOGUES

THE MAGIC OF THE ORDINARY

I

realise that Christmas is over, and yet, since I am writing this on the last day of the year, I’m technically still in the ‘zone’.

Besides, I have spent the last few weeks reflecting on this, that and the other, not least on when Christmas stopped being magical and became ‘just another day’.

Not only am I resigned to the idea; I even like it and have come to appreciate the ordinariness of the day itself. I still enjoy the run-up to Christmas, painstakingly choosing and buying presents [wrapping them is less enjoyable and something I’d gladly leave to other people to do], but today, I am oddly comforted by the fact that I can still enjoy my daily rituals without too much fuss and bother.

This year, I woke up, had a cup of tea and watched some TV, and after we got through my son’s Christmas stocking, it was business as usual. I took the dog out for a walk, did a load of washing, tidied up, had a bath and got ready for lunch – just as I would on any other Monday if I had taken the day off.

There was a time when I’d have been horrified at the very prospect – at the ordinariness of it all. For the larger part of my life, Christmas used to be a day that felt [and had to feel] unlike any other: a day when you woke up early and then lost all sense of time; when breakfast merged into lunch and teatime became supper; when coffee or tea didn’t taste the way they normally would and when you took a bath with the special bath salts or bubble bath that you had just received 42 ∫ Pink January 2018

as a gift, or were saving for the occasion, and then finished it off with a generous layer of body lotion; a day when ironing or washing clothes was off-limits and a sacrilege and where you never actually left your home, unless it was to go from car to wherever it is you were having lunch [if you weren’t having it at home].

But like chewing gum that has lost its flavour, I have resigned myself to the fact that nothing stays the same: things and feelings change, which is not always a bad thing. It’s desperately trying to hold onto something that is no longer there that is unhealthy and unrealistic.

Besides, today, I find that there is something equally magical and special

GIRLTALK about the mundane and ordinary; about being ‘in the moment’ and living Christmas Day as you would any other.

As a child and even later, I don’t ever recall leaving my house before lunchtime on Christmas Day, and that was only to drive to my aunt’s house on the occasions when we weren’t celebrating it at home. But other than that, I lived in my own Christmas Day bubble and had no recollection of ever seeing the light of day. I wouldn’t even have known what the outside world looked like on that day and whether people actually emerged from their homes.

maintain a certain positivity and merriment every single second of the season. Apart from the great financial hardship that Christmas can and does create, with everyone asking you how you are going to spend Christmas and where you’re having lunch, it gets to a point where you sometimes have to pretend you have plans, even when you don’t.

Facebook has also piled on the pressure. If comparisons are odious, nothing can be more odious than being subjected to everyone’s Christmas tree and Christmas lunch. And while I understand that, to some, Christmas

“WITH A 30-DAY-PLUS BUILD-UP [AND INCREASING EVERY YEAR], A LEVEL OF ANTI-CLIMAX IS INEVITABLE; IT’S ALSO HARD TO MAINTAIN A CERTAIN POSITIVITY AND MERRIMENT EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE SEASON” It was only in later years that I discovered people going about their lives as they normally would – jogging, walking, soaking up the sun on a bench, or having a coffee. And of course, I came to understand, that yes, some people even have to work on that day if they weren’t lucky enough to take leave.

In conversations I have, I hear a lot of ‘I enjoy the Christmas season, but I don’t like the actual day’… which kind of makes you wonder whether anyone really wishes ‘it could be Christmas every day’. It is interesting if a little sad, but of course, perfectly understandable.

With a 30-day-plus build-up [and increasing every year], a level of anticlimax is inevitable; it’s also hard to

trees are a little bit like penises are for men – an extension of themselves – it can and does get a little OTTT, i.e. over the [tree]top.

I threw a party over Christmas, and the following day, it occurred to me that I didn’t take a single picture of all my efforts… which is actually quite normal for me. I have never been one to photograph food or table arrangements no matter how spectacular. So, there was absolutely nothing to show for it: no photographic evidence of all the hard work and preparation that had gone into the big day, or of the plentiful and delicious bounty. None of it would be splashed all over Facebook, just as there had been no pictures of my beautiful Christmas tree, or of me, my

son and dog posing in the manner of an American Christmas card.

Christmas tree and lunch ‘statuses’ have literally become the latest social media status symbols, with everyone trying to outdo – or ‘out-tree’ – everybody else. Yes, there’s definitely something about Christmas trees: everyone thinks theirs is better and nicer than everyone else’s. And I too am guilty of feeling this way. To be fair, trees are a little bit like cakes – sometimes, they turn out better than others. And yes, while I understand that after all that work, you might want to commit the ordeal to memory and take a picture for posterity, there’s something a teeny-weeny bit clichéd, contrived and competitive about posting it on Facebook.

The funny thing is that we all find the intimate details of other people’s lives interesting. But there’s a fine line, and to cross it can come across as needing to brag and boast, which is the opposite of what Christmas should be about.

Growing up, the magic of Christmas was mostly about the privacy of it all – wondering whether your friends’ Christmas stocking and presents were as fabulous as yours and what they did for lunch without actually ever finding out. Now, that is the sort of magic I am happy to hang onto!

And as we think of New Year’s resolutions, perhaps we should remember that, sometimes, oversharing is not really caring. At a time when many are lonely and wanting, it can smack of something else. A Happy New Year to all! ginantonic@live.com

THINKPINK OUR MAN AURA Mont Blanc Legend Night is made up of the aromatic notes of clary sage and peppermint, enhanced with cool spices [cardamom] and sparkling bergamot, which set the fragrance’s fresh and lively tone. The opening is bright, like the natural radiance of our man aura. The middle notes immediately counterbalance this first impression of refreshing coolness with their warm elegance. The precious scents of cedar wood blend well with the floral lavender tones, a classic in men’s fragrances, and slightly powdered violet. The bottle of the original design takes an amber colour and black details. The box is in the same cognac tones, with deep metallic reflections.

Legend Night was created by Antoine Maisondieu and Olivier Pescheux.

Mont Blanc fragrances are distributed by Chemimart [2149 2212].

LES MONSTERS

BEAUTY

We all have a monster slumbering in us, you, me, and the Belles de Nina. What if we liberated it? Nina Ricci is setting about revising its legendary fragrances. Nina is transforming into a sparkling pear, enrobed with candyfloss, and Luna into a juicy pineapple, infused with lime, while Luna Blossom is becoming an impertinent mochi with orange blossom. #FREETHEMONSTER

Pink January 2018 ∫ 43

SNAPSHOT

REDEFINING

A CLASSIC Strong-willed, defiant and principled, the role of Antigone has been an icon of powerful femininity in theatre for over 2,400 years. Here, actress Sharon Bezzina tells PINK what it’s like to take on the challenging role of the Greek legend, as well as more about her own beginnings. ntigone is a Greek tragedy that first made it to the stage in 441BC, although some historians argue that it had actually been staged before. Over the millennia, the play

by Sophocles was readapted by various playwrights, including Jean Anouilh in the 1940s, when he staged it at the Théâtre de l’Atelier in Nazi-occupied Paris – a bold and daring move that could have cost him dearly.

Now, director Tyrone Grima and Teatru Manoel have teamed up with actress and producer Sharon Bezzina to bring Anouilh’s legendary script to life in Malta, with Sharon taking on the lead role… As the first theatrical play to be staged since the reopening of our baroque national theatre, Malta’s Antigone will go a step further: it will be performed in the context of a Victorian circus.

A

46 ∫ Pink January 2018

When did you first take up acting?

I started acting at the age of 20. Although it was something I had always secretly wanted to do, I was too shy to actually take the plunge… Then, one fine day and pretty much out of the blue, my father asked me whether I wanted to attend a drama course at the Drama Centre in Blata l-Bajda. It was an intensive three-year course, but I loved it and, as the saying goes, I caught the acting bug…

That is how my journey commenced.

“ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES A SLIGHT RISK, THAT GETS MY HEART RACING, I AM UP FOR” What’s your advice to girls and boys out there looking to take up a career in acting?

Three words: passion, hard work and dedication.

SNAPSHOT You’re also co-producing Antigone. What can you tell us about this other role in the production?

Producing and acting at the same time is no joke, and I have to admit that I like the acting side much better. Even so, I have been producing for quite a while now, so I know what the job entails and how demanding it can be. I do not have a specific role as a producer in this play, however. Tyrone and I call each other on a daily basis – sometimes multiple times a day, if I am to be precise – and we go through what needs to be done and we get cracking… As one can imagine, the list is never-ending but, luckily, Tyrone and I work well together, so that makes it all slightly less stressful.

Photography Steven Levi Vella

We’ve also heard you have an adventurous side… Tell us more!

Yes, I am quite adventurous, and I will try anything at least once. I have tried zip lining and abseiling, which I really like, for example. Anything that involves a slight risk, that gets my heart racing, I am up for. Bungee jumping is on my bucket list and I am looking forward to trying that out. I am also quite a sportive person – or I used to be before theatre took over my life: I used to play football, tennis, badminton, basketball, netball – master of none, mind you.

I also absolutely love travelling and I hope I’ll soon get to go on a trip outside of Europe.

You’ll soon be taking up the iconic role of Antigone in the production by the same name. How are you preparing for it?

When a play is well-known, it’s always a risk… Two years ago, I interpreted the role of Sarah – who is deaf and dumb – in the play Children of a Lesser God and many were those who told me to avoid such a role because the film had been such a success. Nevertheless, that makes it all the more exciting for me, and the same can be said for Antigone, which is a classic, renowned and beautifully written.

We have decided to set this play in a Victorian circus, so the cast is made up of circus performers; which is why most of us had to undergo training in specific circus skills.

In fact, two members of an international circus school in Italy came over to give us an intensive short course.

The challenge with Antigone as a character, however, is that she is headstrong and stands by her ideals; ideals she will stick to even when her life is on the line. I feel there is a power struggle between her and Creon, the King. At times, Antigone is leading while, at others, Creon is. There is a balance of strength and vulnerability that needs to come out in Antigone’s character and it’s there that the challenge lies.

What are your pet peeves, and why?

I can’t take it when people judge others; or when there’s too much gossip and nastiness going around. My motto is live and let live. However, my absolute biggest pet peeve has got to be lack of punctuality. I cannot – absolutely and categorically cannot – take it when a person is late. Punctuality is a must with me and anyone who knows me knows that. I have had, and I know I will continue to have, many arguments with people over this issue… During one of these many arguments, a person dared justify why she is always late and stated that the other person should be patient and understanding. My facial expression at the time said it all! I feel that when a person turns up late, he or she is being disrespectful… I mean, why agree on a time if you know you are going to turn up late?

What’s next for you once Antigone is over?

This year has been quite a roller-coaster ride as, apart from this hectic production, which I am enjoying and working hard at, I am also working on the Trinity FTCL Drama and Speech examination. So, after Antigone, I will dedicate time to the exam and then, hopefully, go on that long, relaxing holiday I have been longing for. I am also looking forward to not hearing Tyrone’s voice every morning at 7.30am!

Antigone will be on at Teatru Manoel between February 2 and 4. www.teatrumanoel.com

Pink January 2018 ∫ 47

WOMENONWHEELS

Bigger and better While TV personality TEZARA CAMILLERI admits to loving her small city car, after test driving the Renault Captur, she says it was the first time she actively considered moving to a different – and bigger – vehicle.

T

he cars I’ve been given to test drive seem to be getting bigger and bigger each time I go to collect them from their respective showrooms, although I wouldn’t say the latest – the Renault Captur from Kind’s Auto Sales Ltd – is a huge car. In fact, I would describe it as a fine crossover between an SUV and a hatchback.

I test drove the Captur in Special Red Metallic, but they also offer it in a range of colours, including Oyster Grey and Diamond Black, which are my favourite.

The panoramic sunroof is an incredibly practical feature; perfect for sunny days in winter, where you can enjoy the sunshine, but, thankfully, not the wind.

I took it for a spin on the first day back from the Christmas holidays, so I would say the roads were fairly busy, but the armrest made the wait in traffic a whole lot more pleasing.

“I TOOK IT FOR A SPIN ON THE FIRST DAY BACK FROM THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS, SO I WOULD SAY THE ROADS WERE FAIRLY BUSY, BUT THE ARMREST MADE THE WAIT IN TRAFFIC A WHOLE LOT MORE PLEASING” A very practical element of the car, especially to counter accidents that could happen with children and pets in tow, is that the upholstery is removable Pink January 2018 ∫ 49

WOMENONWHEELS

and washable and is available in various shades, including in leather to match the leather steering wheel.

Speaking of wheels, the Captur has 17” Explore Alloy Wheels, with black or grey inserts, as well as a space-saver spare wheel. And to add that personalised touch, you can also make your car really yours 50 ∫ Pink January 2018

by even opting for a variety of interior and exterior touch packs.

You can’t really go wrong with parking either: the Captur has front and rear parking sensors as well as a blind-spot warning signal and a rear camera to assist. It’s also got a tire pressure warning light, in case you’ve packed in some extra kilos over the Christmas period. If that’s the case, don’t worry about driving those extra few kilometres to the gym because the ECO mode feature not only makes your journey economical, but also reduces exhaust emissions.

I must say that while I love my small city car, this was the first time I actively considered a different vehicle. For a few minutes after I returned the Captur and got into my own car, my once familiar surroundings felt strange, because for the last two hours, it had been so easy and pleasant to be on the road. Who knows? I may be more inclined to go for a slightly larger car in the near future.