Pink (March 2018)

issue161∫ MArch2018

Gigi Hadid And the lAunch of her cApsule hilfiger collection FRESH FROM MILAN FASHION WEEK

Be prepared!

Girl Guides are going strong Still so relevant today

TEENAGE GIRLS What’s troubling them?

INSIDE

March 2018

40

55 66

FEATURES 14 WomensWorld guiding the future of Maltese women Girl Guides are not a thing of the past 21 InFocus support after crime Let’s think about the victims

FASHION 29 AccessoryStory let the sunshine in Time for a new pair of shades 30 ShowStopper the urbanite City life just got a little bit lighter 40 FashionStory fashion in the fast lane Fourth Hilfiger capsule collection by Gigi Hadid

HEALTH & BEAUTY 46 InThePink I can see clearly now Eye laser surgery explored 50 PinkShrink how to pursue your dreams Get motivated 53 ParentingTips raising girls The trouble with teens

REGULARS 9 EditorsNote 10 MailShot 25 WomanKind unsung heroine Margot Turner 51 ThinkPink fashion 54 ReadingRoom get a new reading habit It’s a way to bust stress 56 GirlTalk security issues The ordeal of going through airports 57 ThinkPink food 61 TravelOgue me, myself and I How to go solo 65 WomenOnWheels feeling at home New Ford Fiesta 66 SnapShot a creative lifestyle Antonella Axisa

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COVER Photography Kurt Paris ∫ Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] ∫ Hair and Make-up Marlene Vassallo ∫ Location Fort Cambridge ∫ Model Merve @ Supernova MM, wearing trench coat, €325; bag, €150, both Karen Millen.

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EDITORSNOTE The other day, I had a go at a policeman. I won’t go into why, and you can imagine how, but I will admit I was even in the wrong – and that this particular cop was quite a gentleman, just doing his job. I also made it a point to find him and apologise afterwards.

Once I had said what I had to say and more, while those around me recoiled into the background in disbelief at the scene that was unfolding, and the policeman in question started losing his patience, I drove off and proceeded to reflect on what had instigated such a reaction towards a man in uniform.

Surely, it was more than just a matter of having woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

While there can be no justification for an overreaction, especially when, in this particular case, the policeman was being reasonable and actually trying to help out, I could actually see where I was coming from and traced the origins of this episode to the darker chambers of my mind.

When justice fails to be carried out, and the perpetrators of a murder are left at large; incriminating reports remain gathering dust on desks and criminals continue their business as usual; when those in command fumble and fudge their way through, leaving too many questions unanswered; when inaction is the

order of the day; and those who are meant to be catching the culprits are found with their hands deep in the cookie jar, it is no wonder that the uniform is no longer associated with respect, but quite the contrary.

If the head appears to be rotten, it is assumed the rest of the vegetable is too. And that is a pity for the righteous, hard-working members of the Force out there, who now also have to fight a reputation that is reeking, apart from catching the criminals. It must be so demotivating and quite an uphill struggle…

My ‘psychoanalysis’ exercise post the out-of-place spat reminded me of the last scrape I had with the police – when the motorcade of a foreign dignitary in Malta almost killed me by presumably doing the ‘job’ so zealously that it ended up trying to push me off a one-lane flyover to get me out of the way.

I was under shock as a policeman on a motorbike, siren blaring in my ear, drove right up to and practically into my rear, pushing me incessantly to either press the accelerator to a point I wasn’t comfortable with, or move over, which effectively meant driving myself off the bridge since there was nowhere else for me to go.

The situation was surreal and insane. It caused me to panic and I dread to think what would have happened had the driver been an elderly person, or someone with less experience behind the wheel.

The policeman knew I had nowhere to go and yet he put me in the most perilous position, and under great duress, at high speeds that were completely unnecessary.

Once the road opened up, I was forced to change lane onto oncoming traffic, only to have to practically stop on a main thoroughfare to be able to go back to the lane I was driving on and where I needed to be to turn off.

I was made to risk my life and those of others simply because a man in a police uniform, but without the brains required to go with it, totally missed the point of his role in escorting this vehicle and the so-called VIP inside. The Baby on Board badge on my rear windscreen didn’t seem to have any impact on his better judgment either.

My guardian angel was around that day, but I won’t ever forget that this threat came from someone whose duty it is to protect me on the roads and not instigate accidents.

Not even an ambulance in an emergency would have put me in such a dangerous situation; and I wonder how this particular Head of State felt that he was causing such disruption and danger on the roads all because he was running late for some ridiculous walk-about in Rabat.

On the part of the policeman, it was a sheer case of missing the wood for the trees at best. But more than just stupidity, it was an utter disgrace, typical of those who feel they are above the law, even while they should be upholding it, and who are shooting themselves, and particularly their decent colleagues, in the foot.

There are plenty of the bad apples around in our topsy-turvy world, ruining the image of the good. But soon they will be one and the same in the eyes of all. And everyone will suffer.

March 4, 2018 ∫ Pink is a monthly magazine ∫ Issue 161 ∫ Executive editor Fiona Galea Debono ∫ Publisher Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Printing Progress Press Ltd ∫ Production Allied Newspapers Ltd ∫ Contributors Adriana Bishop, Tezara Camilleri, Edward Curmi, Claire Diacono, Mary Galea Debono, Marisa Grima, Ariadne Massa, Helen Raine, Stephanie Satariano, Marlene Vassallo, Virginia ∫ Design Manuel Schembri ∫ Photography Jonathan Borg, Justin Ciappara, Matthew Mirabelli, Kurt Paris, Chris Sant Fournier, Matthew B. Spiteri ∫ Advertising sales Veronica Grech Sant [2276 4333; veronica.grechsant@timesofmalta.com].

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Pink March 2018 ∫ 9

MAILSho

THE LETTER THAT TICKLED PI

INDIVIDUALISM Dear editor, I enjoyed reading the well-written article by Antoinette Sinnas, Here Come the Brides? [LifeStyle, February 2018]. It is interesting to see how individualism is affecting the traditional wedding ceremony. We appear to be trending towards a situation in which weddings are less determined by social convention and are more reflective of the independent preferences of wedding couples.

BLOOMING AREAS Dear editor, I take the opportunity to thank you all for the latest issue of Pink.

It is one of the few locally produced magazines I make sure to find time to go through ‘head to tail’! Although I am a regular reader of Pink, I rarely send letters, or e-mails to you. This is my third participation in 160 issues. I hope that this time round, I hit the jackpot and win the gifts for my wife, who has repeatedly contributed her views to Pink, but again, is still to be the lucky pick out of the hat. I enjoy reading opinions and reviews on gems of the road like Sleek and Sporty [WomenOnWheels, February 2018] about the Jaguar E-Pace. Pippa Toledo is great in her comments and states her honest feelings about the vehicle. Black is her favourite colour, while mine is a combination of silver and black. Should it be of no inconvenience to you, may I ask you to prepare an article related to the plants put in roundabouts and that are known to be the cause of hay fever. It is prime time. Let us bring the awareness now to avoid the inconvenience caused by their scent to many like my wife, who happen to suffer most when in traffic close to a roundabout like that near Maypole in Iklin. Does it always have to be such plants to ruin a person’s drive for a day’s work? Once one familiarises oneself with such ‘blooming’ areas, one quickly pulls up the car windows to avoid the full dose… While looking forward for the next issue, I take the opportunity of wishing you all the best of health.

JOSETTE MICELI, FROM TA’ XBIEX

CHARLES ZERAFA, FROM MOSTA

The writer of the letter of the month wins a Boucheron Quatre Absolu de Nuit eau de parfum; a pedicure; PLUS a selection of Diego Dalla Palma make-up products, all from Chemimart.

WRITe I AND WIN We want to hear from you. Send us your feedback on Pink and any stories that may have touched you in some way, and you stand a chance of winning a Modern Princess Lanvin eau de parfum; a pedicure; PLUS a selection of Diego Dalla Palma make-up products, all from Chemimart.

Write to Pink, with your contact details, at Allied Newspapers Limited, Triq l-Intornjatur, Mrieћel, BKR 3000, or send an e-mail to pink@timesofmalta.com Correspondence may be edited for length and clarity. If prizes are not claimed within two months, they will no longer be available.

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WOMENSWORLD Guiding lights: Claire Duff and Karen Buttigieg.

uiDin

THE FUTURE OF MALTESE WOMEN So you think joining the Girl Guides is a thing of the past. Think again… because Malta’s largest association for girls and young women has never been more relevant than it is today. ADRIANA BISHOP catches up with Karen Buttigieg and Claire Duff to understand how and why this organisation of long-standing tradition has kept up with the times 90 years down the line.

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WOMENSWORLD

E

ven if, like me, you have never been a member of the Girl Guides, their iconic uniforms, the Promise and their “be prepared” motto are familiar to us all.

What is less understood, however, is that the association is far more than just marching parades, camping and badges.

It is also leading the way in the debate on women-related issues through its advocacy team, and these days, you are just as likely to find them on the front line of the gay Pride parade, advocating diversity with a capital D. Over the past 18 months, MGG elected a new president, Karen Buttigieg, and new chief commissioner, Claire Duff, to guide it through the next six years.

The local association forms part of a worldwide ‘sisterhood’ of 10 million Girl Guides, with currently 1,200 in Malta, aged from five upwards – a figure that has remained stable for a number of years despite the many other extra-curricular activities available to schoolchildren. But they are hoping this number will grow, especially when their ambitious training and camping site at Kordin is completed in the coming years.

ADVOCACY The MGG, which has been empowering generations of girls to “be prepared” to face whatever challenges life throws at them, has been recognised as an advocacy group since 2012 and has already become a force to be reckoned with.

It has contributed to public consultations launched by the government on human rights and the amendments to the legislation on gender-based violence and domestic violence.

“Guiding is a relevant voice in the community and we are being recognised more and more as an advocacy group,” points out Ms Buttigieg. “Our role is to be a voice promoting gender equality and justice.

“We are the biggest female organisation in the country with the most diverse cohort in terms of age and ability. Our advocacy team has brought about real changes that were much needed.” And these changes are contributing to an evolution in mindset that guiding is not merely about camping, marching and fundraising, but it also offers much more.

The team has called for data collection, police training, more assistance to victims of conflict-related sexual violence and minors and an improved reporting system for domestic violence cases.

Originally designed by the UN Women, together with the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts [WAGGGS], the Stop the Violence badge curriculum was taken a step further in Malta. The MGG has been granted public funding to carry out a survey among university students and sixth formers on the perception of violence in relationships and to raise awareness about signs of violent relationships.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 15

WOMENSWORLD The association has tabled two resolutions to the National Council of Women.

The first is to end violence against girls and young women, urging the government to amend the age of criminal responsibility, address violence against children in the national draft child policy, introduce harsher and more effective sanctions against perpetrators of rape, stalking and child abuse and offer better protection and support to victims.

The second resolution was to regularise gentlemen’s clubs by ensuring decent working conditions for all service providers.

Diversity and the well-being of girls and young women is at the heart of the guiding programme and MGG has been chosen by WAGGGS as a pilot member organisation for its strategy on diversity. Leaders are trained to cater for different cases and a mental health training programme is to be launched shortly.

“Our advocacy team has brought about real changes that were much needed, but there is so much more work to be done even in a country that has been trying for years to tackle the issues of equality and justice,” says Ms Buttigieg.

The under-representation of women in top managerial roles, be it in the private or public sector, is a matter close to her heart and that of the MGG. “Women are game changers. The MGG

The programme is based on a system of badges revolving around different themes, which the girls work towards attaining. In the past, the badges were somewhat more traditional, but these days, they reflect the needs of girls in the 21st century. Noticing, for example, that girls were shying away from the more mathsintensive sciences, such as physics, computer science and engineering, MGG decided to design badges to encourage girls to take an interest in this field.

“Something happens along the way that prompts girls to believe they cannot or do not want to continue in science, technology, engineering and math subjects, courses, or careers, yet there is no obvious reason.

Innate abilities do not differ between boys and girls. We saw an area where girls are clearly lagging behind, so we designed specific science badge curricula for different ages,” says Ms Buttigieg.

MGG also joined forces with the Malta Council for Science and Technology and other partners to organise a science camp where girls could take part in experiments, science games and meet female scientists.

The girls can choose to work on their own to attain their chosen badge, or as a team with their friends in what is known as patrol tasks. A leader is appointed from the team to oversee the work at hand, and even at this early age, patrol leaders are sent

“GIRLS HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AND THEY DON’T NEED A MAN TO HELP THEM DO ANYTHING. GIRLS NEED TO GET DIRTY IN THE MUD AS MUCH AS BOYS DO! THEY LEARN TO BECOME SELF-SUFFICIENT TEAM PLAYERS” strongly believes that women can break glass ceilings through gender equality in the labour market. We are one of the countries with the lowest percentage of women having decisionmaking roles in public administration, the judiciary system and companies. This means that decisions are taken by a group of people who do not reflect society as a whole, yet these decisions affect us all.

“Women work hard and still they are not recognised or given the opportunity to be decision makers. We have a big responsibility to change that.”

to training camps to learn the necessary leadership skills. “We try to be a platform for girl leaders,” points out Ms Buttigieg.

MGG is working at grass-roots level to empower girls “to be more than society allows them to be” and to give them the selfesteem and tools necessary to become decision makers in politics and the private sector. Interestingly, two members of the MGG’s advocacy team have now moved on to become active members of political parties.

CHALLENGES WONDER WOMEN A member since she first joined as a Brownie at the age of seven, Ms Buttigieg highlights how guiding complements school education. “The education system is very academic. At MGG, girls are given the skills to make them more self-sufficient. The first thing parents seek when their children join is for them to learn how to tidy up after themselves. In other words, they want their children to become more independent.

“We try not to replicate what goes on in school. Our programmes are entirely hands-on and, preferably, outdoors. The aim is to encourage progressive self-development. Each child has the power to decide what she would like from her guiding experience.”

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Women’s perception of themselves needs to change before society changes its perception of women. And this is one of the challenges facing girls today. Ms Buttigieg recalls how, as a child, she was the only one in her class whose mother worked. “I felt hurt that mum couldn’t take me to school. Now it’s normal. Most women work, but the mentality towards a woman’s role at home has not changed much. Women feel they need to be everything, to do everything, and that can be overwhelming. We feel we have to imitate our mothers while sustaining a career. The mentality needs to change, but women need to change that themselves. It will take another generation before we see a change in roles.

“We try to break stereotypes. Girls bring these perpetuated stereotypes with them from home. But here we try to give value to all the roles. Girls have to do everything and they don’t need

WOMENSWORLD a man to help them do anything. Girls need to get dirty in the mud as much as boys do! They learn to become self-sufficient team players.

“We try to encourage and help them find out who they want to be, who they really are away from these stereotypes. We expose them to different opportunities and we make sure that we do not stifle them. We encourage them to define themselves, accept who they are and develop their uniqueness. Guiding is so varied; they learn so many different skills. The value of this experience is unquantifiable.”

Apart from the challenge of gender stereotyping, the girls often come with other concerns and this is where the guiding family as a community comes into its own. Ms Buttigieg explains how girls bring their worries and fears with them and often open up to their leaders with issues they do not dare talk to their own parents about.

“Through our Stop the Violence programme, we discovered there were so many of our members who had experienced domestic violence, or who had difficult situations at home,” Ms Buttigieg points out.

School has become a major worry, she continues, citing exam pressure from a young age as a reason why, sometimes, girls end up missing guiding sessions.

Body image is another challenge highlighted by Ms Buttigieg, and the MGG addressed this by creating the Free Being Me programme in collaboration with world-leading experts in body confidence. The fun-filled interactive programme for girls aged from seven to 14 teaches them that body confidence and selfesteem come from valuing their bodies. It shows them how to stand up to social pressures and support others to be more body confident.

“By working together, leading others and speaking out, participants are also empowered to make a difference in their local and global communities.”

PROFESSIONAL VOLUNTEERS It is crucial to understand that this is an entirely voluntary organisation and all those who work to keep the MGG running do so out of the goodness of their own heart and a strong sense of civic duty.

A biology lecturer by day, Ms Buttigieg explains: “Guiding does permeate my life, but I try not to let it take over completely. However, once you are a volunteer, you get used to being one. The fire remains. When they volunteer, members are not just giving, but they get so much back.”

In fact, all adult members of the association are not mere volunteers, but “professional” volunteers, who are trained, both locally and abroad, to carry out their role, especially if that role involves working with children.

“All the work that the association does is possible only because we are women who believe in volunteering and made a conscious decision to carve time for it out of our busy schedules,” says Ms Buttigieg.

Guiding influences daily life and vice versa. One is intrinsically linked to the other. “Through my education, research and training within girl guiding, I have experience in education, science, research, training and advocacy, which I bring with me to my career as educator and role as President of MGG,” she says.

MGG is now lobbying the Education Ministry to give the training volunteers receive the necessary recognition and value it deserves. “We are seeking accreditation for our training programme for leaders. They are extensively trained and given skills in project management, public speaking, protection of children’s rights and responsibilities involved when working with children.”

Adult volunteers form the backbone of the organisation, and last year, for the first time, they were directly involved in electing the Chief Commissioner, Claire Duff.

“It is very important to listen to volunteers,” explains Ms Duff. “They are the people at grass-roots level working with our young members. I believe that when volunteers feel they are developing themselves through the time they give to others, and they are appreciated for all that they do, they are always ready to give more.”

Now in her 25th year of guiding, real estate agent Ms Duff is an advocate for the benefits of volunteering and even wrote her university thesis on the subject.

“Guiding has given me so much over the years, as it does to all the volunteers who have given their time to the association.”

Ms Duff echoes Ms Buttigieg’s call for a formal acknowledgement of the true value of volunteering. “I would like to see more employers recognising volunteering as a valuable aspect when recruiting, as well as promoting volunteering among their employees. Volunteering does not hinder their work and family time; rather, it helps make them better time managers, gives them skills they can use both at home and at work and builds the best multi-taskers one can ever find.”

Apart from wishing to reach out to more girls, MGG is also looking at increasing the number of adult volunteers. “We are always looking for adult volunteers who are willing to give their time to help shape the younger generation, while at the same time, providing an experience for the volunteers themselves to make them want to remain part of the guiding family.”

And once part of that family, members feel that the guiding experience and way of life never leaves them, even after they have stopped being formally part of the association.

“I still meet ex-members or ex-leaders who say they will never forget their guiding memories and that their guiding experiences made them the persons they are today.

“For me, it has given me a strong sense of belonging. I can easily say that I have a second family through guiding. It has made me more independent, has given me skills that no school or university degree has ever provided for and has made me an overall stronger person in general,” explains Ms Duff.

“A Girl Guide from Luxembourg once told me: ‘If people really knew what we do in guiding, then everyone would want to be a Girl Guide’. Unfortunately, people only see part of the work we do with our members and the benefits we provide for our society, both locally and globally.”

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WOMENSWORLD Sharon O’Neill Liberi with children at a school in India.

INTERNATIONAL PARTICIPATION MGG members are also making an active and direct contribution on the international scene. In 2013, former MGG deputy chief commissioner Sharon O’Neill Libreri was elected to serve a three-year term on the Europe Region Committee of the WAGGGS. During her tenure, she worked on a project to support the member organisations to grow and retain their membership. There are currently 1.2 million guides across 41 countries in Europe.

Through mentoring, guidance and support, Ms O’Neill Libreri helped several European Girl Guide associations recover from extremely difficult financial, strategic, or membership issues.

Her high-level international experience proved beneficial not only to herself, but also to the MGG in general.

“Although Malta has a lot to offer as a country, it is still small, and we are exposed only to our reality. Through the international work I did and still do within WAGGGS, I have broadened my experience, enriched my knowledge and was exposed to different cultural scenarios.

“But each time I come back from an international experience, I share this with the MGG, so the rest of the members also benefit from the exposure. This work has also put Malta and MGG at the top of the WAGGGS world map, as each time I go on an international assignment, I make it a point to speak about Malta and the MGG.” Ms O’Neill Libreri joined the MGG 37 years ago and has grown through the ranks of the movement. Today, she has a consultancy and strategic role on the MGG Council. For her, as for anyone involved in the MGG, guiding is a way of life.

“It provides girls and young women with a non-formal educational programme, where they can develop leadership, advocacy and life skills through self-development, challenge and adventure.

“I have spent almost 37 years in this organisation and it has significantly impacted my life. It has made me the person I am today, a strong woman who can understand and relate to diversity, a woman with a voice, a vision, a strategic mindset and leadership skills.”

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Once a guide, always a guide Broadcaster ANNA BONETT joined the Girl Guides in Hamrun at the age of 12, but when her family moved to B’Kara a few years later, her father would not let her go to Hamrun alone, so she had to give up guiding.

“A part of me died that day,” she recalls. “In spite of the short time, I had a unique experience, which has helped me grow and shape me into what I am today.

“Children are very lucky today.

Guiding may have stayed the same, but the opportunities have tripled. I encourage parents to consider guiding for their children starting at an early age.

“I salute all the guides, but especially those I was with in the 1970s, who are still there giving their precious time to help in the formation of tomorrow’s society. My admiration for you knows no bounds.”

GERTRUDE ABELA, honorary president of Europa Donna Malta, first joined the MGG B’Kara group at the age of 10. When her guider had to return to the UK, she left the Girl Guides. Years later, when her own daughter joined the Mosta unit, she got roped back in as a “helper”.

She has now been a fully active Brownie guider for over 20 years. “Being a guide has helped me to be more organised, planning ahead for important events, sharing my experience, feeling more confident in expressing myself.

“I encourage my Brownies to explore their potential. I urge girls to join as it will help them for the future; they will be more interactive and more confident. A guide is always a guide.”

Art conservator VALENTINA LUPO joined MGG at the age of 11 to make new friends when she first moved to Malta. She was an active member for 18 years.

“Guiding has been my second family to which I believe I have given something, but from which I certainly received a lot. Guiding is the best leadership experience for girls and the almost 100-year legacy shows just how successful it has been.

“It gives girls the unique chance to experience leadership and management positions from a young age and helps them develop their self-esteem. The simple lessons in leadership we were taught as guides helped me later become the person who isn’t afraid to take charge.

“Public speaking, team work, organising fundraising activities, problem solving were all skills I absorbed and translated into my career as the co-founder and director of a conservation and restoration company. I will never thank enough the leaders I had in my early years in the movement.”

For more information about the Malta Girl Guides, visit www.maltagirlguides.com

INFOCUS

Empowering and regenerating victims of any crime to a healthy and self-sufficient state of well-being is the objective of Victim Support Malta. The NGO’s executive chairperson Julianne Grima tells HELEN RAINE it’s about providing emotional and legal support to regular people who experience extraordinary events.

Support after crime

I

t’s what every woman dreads; Maria* woke up after a night out to find herself naked on a bed, with a man she had never seen before on top of her. As she gradually gained consciousness, she fought him desperately and was punched, hard. Somehow, she managed to escape and ran to a neighbouring house.

For many women, what happens next is part of the same nightmare, as they struggle to deal with the aftermath of an assault, as well as the legal and medical system. Maria’s experience was different however; the police took her straight to hospital, where a social worker was already waiting for her, despite it being the middle of the night.

After being treated, she was referred to Victim Support Malta.

The long-term support that Victim Support Malta has provided, including the services of a psychologist and a lawyer, has transformed her recovery.

Even months after the attack, she feels they are still there for her. “We are fighting together,” she says.

Indeed, the core principle of Victim Support Malta, part of Victim Support Europe, is to provide emotional and legal support to regular people who experience extraordinary events. The

Julianne Grima

objective is to empower and regenerate victims of any crime to a healthy and self-sufficient state of well-being, says its executive chairperson, Julianne Grima. A psychotherapist, as well as the chairperson of TBWA\ANG, her business background and counselling experience are proving the perfect fit for the NGO. The organisation works alongside the Ministry for the Family and Social Solidarity and has a particular focus on the victims of sex crimes [although any

crime victim can ask for help]. They are available 24/7 on an ‘on call’ basis at Mater Dei Hospital.

Victim Support Malta is also able to help with victims of domestic violence, such as May*. She met her partner young, and after several years together, they had a child. Her partner became increasingly aggressive over the years.

May says he started threatening to murder her and, eventually, she managed to leave him. Afterwards, she says, “I lived in a state of constant Pink March 2018 ∫ 21

INFOCUS anxiety and fear. He haunted me with his calls and messages.”

Still, she managed to get on with her life and leave her past behind. But, she says: “All of a sudden, when I should have been at my happiest, the horrible memories started gnawing back at me.

I turned bitter… depression kept coming and going in waves, crushing down on me. Life’s day-to-day problems, paired up with my baggage from the past, had become an insurmountable mountain.”

At her lowest ebb, she found Victim Support Malta online and it has turned her life around. The counsellor taught her “how to use tools to solve my problems… I almost always leave the premises feeling empowered, happy and with restored hope”.

Julianne took on the supervision of the team in 2016, and every day, they strive to give victims the same experience as May. The highly qualified staff and volunteers group are headed up by Krista Tabone, the director, Karl Grech, who manages the generic service, and Isotta Rossoni, who handles project management. They usually work with Dr Arthur Azzopardi as a legal advisor because, Julianne says, “our clients have felt supported and championed by his exhaustive attempts at seeing that justice is served”. The emotional support team is comprised of vetted and supervised counsellors and psychotherapists on a voluntary or freelance basis.

Julianne says the impact of crime varies and is often based on the individuals and the support system they have. “We find that the clients who cope the best are surrounded by people whom they can turn to. We have people who have been heavily debilitated following an attempted theft and clients who have coped remarkably well with sexual assault, or domestic violence.”

She notes that tourists are particularly vulnerable as they are usually away from their support network and aren’t sure where to get help. “About half of the clients who access our sexual assault services are foreign – this is quite a number.”

Demand for their services is high across the board though. “Clients are predominantly referred to us by professionals in the field, through Agenzija Appogg, the Malta Police Force Victim Support Unit, and also on their 22 ∫ Pink March 2018

On the team: Stephania Gafa, Krista Tabone, Michael Bonett, Julianne Grima, Amber Knights and Karl Grech.

“WE FIND THAT THE CLIENTS WHO COPE THE BEST ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHOM THEY CAN TURN TO. WE HAVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN HEAVILY DEBILITATED FOLLOWING AN ATTEMPTED THEFT AND CLIENTS WHO HAVE COPED REMARKABLY WELL WITH SEXUAL ASSAULT, OR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” own accord, having heard of us by word of mouth, or through an online search,” Julianne explains.

As an NGO, Victim Support Malta tries to cater for as many clients as it can, but it acknowledges that funding challenges can make this difficult. “We receive fixed funding only for our sexual assault services, through a public social partnership with the ministry,” says Julianne. Most other services rely heavily on fundraising and donations.

“It is not in our interest to start a waiting list, as we firmly believe in the prompt response to people in need.

Our current plan is to source funding … [and] help more people without compromising efficiency of service.”

Last month, in fact, fundraising included the Masquerade Ball organised

by TBWA\ANG and the Ladies Circle Malta, and supported by Radisson Blu Resort, St Julian’s.

Aside from sexual assault and domestic violence, the organisation supports clients who report cyberbullying, sextortion, theft, assault, hate crime, revenge porn, stalking and harassment, as well as family members and friends who are impacted indirectly.

It has also widened its services this year to provide support to surviving family members and loved ones, who have lost someone to death by suicide or accident.

The NGO is also involved in European projects such as T@lk, aimed to enhance online services for victims of crime, and Watch Out, a neighbourhood watch scheme, which has now launched in Madliena. In 2018, they’ll be focusing on two European projects, Hate No More, which focuses on training professionals who deal with victims of hate crime, and project Viocare, which examines the implementation of the European Victims of Crime Directive.

The work they do can make a huge difference to the quality of life of crime victims, who can be highly traumatised.

As Maria says: “I want girls to know there is life after rape and there’s help out there; Victim Support will help.

I want to say thank you to Victim Support Malta and the police because they treated me very nicely, politely and without any judgement.”

If you have been the victim of a crime and would like help, contact Victim Support Malta on info@victimsupport.org.mt; 2122 8333 [office hours]; or visit victimsupport.org.mt to access the online support system.

Donations to Victim Support Malta can be made through http://victimsupport.org.mt as well as via text messages on the following numbers: 50617313 for €2.33; 50617916 for €4.66; 50619246 for €11.65. *Names have been changed to protect identities.

WOMANKIND

UNSUNG HEROINE Margot Turner’s is a story of courage, determination and devotion.

For MARY GALEA DEBONO, tribute to this nursing sister is a tribute to all those equally selfless, whose stories, because they remain unrecorded, have been lost in the mists of time.

F

or nurses serving in military and civil hospitals close to the front during World War II, the situation was horrendous on several levels. To witness hundreds of soldiers, many of them in their prime, succumbing to horrific wounds was a daily ordeal; the work day was long and exhausting; the pressure overwhelming. The depressing truth – and one that was not easy to accept – was that, in many cases, the only thing they could offer their patients was emotional solace.

In spite of this despairing and everworsening situation, however, these nursing sisters continued to struggle to

cope, with dedication and a total disregard for their own safety. They remain the unsung heroines of WWII. Many of them did not return to tell their story; a few did, among them Sister Margot Turner. Hers is a story of courage, determination and devotion.

A tribute to her is a tribute to all those, equally selfless, whose stories, because they remain unrecorded, have been lost in the mists of time.

In 1991, Eric Taylor dedicated one chapter of his book Heroines of World War II to this indomitable nurse. The chapter is aptly titled Survivor Against All Odds. But interest in her war story had started years before when, on January 25, 1978, the weekly episode

in the series This is Your Life, a Thames Television production, featured Margot’s experience in a Japanese war camp. She had at first been contrary to the suggestion of appearing in such a programme, but was persuaded to take part by people who had been with her in the camp.

Prompted by the great success of this programme, in 1981, Lavinia Warner, who had conducted the research for that episode, produced another long-running series for the BBC called Tenko, about the plight of women interned in Japanese camps, which was watched by millions of viewers. It was Margot who was the inspiration of this series – as the producer stated, she was “the perfect example of what brought the survivors through”.

Margot’s survival story presents two contrasting pictures of what humanity is capable of. On the one hand is this resilient and resourceful woman, who, with exceptional courage and total selflessness, dedicated herself to her fellow human beings and sought to alleviate their suffering in any way she could; while on the other, are the Japanese soldiers, who, in the name of patriotism, inflicted the meanest atrocities on other human beings, prisoners of war.

Margot was born in 1910.

After training for four years at St Bartholomew’s Hospital in London, she joined the Queen Alexandra’s Imperial Nursing Service and her first overseas posting was in 1939 to the Indian hospital at Meerut. Margot was tall and attractive, athletic and good at swimming, golf and tennis. In this British garrison hospital, social life was agreeable and opportunities to practise her favourite sports were plenty.

Paradoxically, it was precisely this relaxed atmosphere that Margot found unsatisfactory in her work. After war broke out, only disastrous news seemed to be coming from the European front. Rather than thanking her good luck for the relative peace and comfort that surrounded her in Meerut, Margot was depressed that she could not contribute, as was her duty, to the war effort. Determined to do something about it, she applied Pink March 2018 ∫ 25

WOMANKIND for a posting in active service, expecting to be sent to a hospital in Europe, where she felt she could put her nursing skills to better use. But when the posting was granted, she discovered she had not been sent to a European hospital, but to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, where she was put in charge of the operating theatre.

This was not what Margot wanted; the atmosphere in the Kuala Lumpur hospital was a comfortable and relaxed version of her previous experience.

War had not yet reached this part of the world and caring for the well-to-do expatriates was not how she envisaged she could fulfill her mission as she understood it. Little did she suspect what destiny had in store for her because it was not long before events in Asia took a new turn.

This happened on the morning of December 7, 1941, after Japan’s simultaneous attack on Pearl Harbour from the air and on Malaya, Hong Kong and the Philippines by assault troops. The following day, the Allies declared war on Japan.

After the bombardment of Kuala Lumpur, Margot’s hospital was evacuated to Singapore. Undeterred by news of multiple rapes of nurses in other hospitals and beheadings of patients in their hospital beds, she worked fearlessly and untiringly, dedicating all her energy to bring some relief to the severely mutilated soldiers.

Her situation changed again when on February 13, 1942, Margot and the rest of the nurses were removed from their hospital and taken to the port, where they joined nurses from other hospitals and boarded the ship Kuala on which there were already 400 women and children and 300 servicemen.

Before even leaving the port, the ship was machine-gunned by Japanese planes and some lives were lost, but as soon as it got dark, it set sail, and at dawn, rather than risk sailing out into the open sea in broad daylight, the captain cast anchor close to one of the islands.

This was just a taste of what was in store for these hapless survivors; early in the morning, their ship was again bombed. Two lifeboats and a few life jackets were not enough for all the 26 ∫ Pink March 2018

Margot and another nurse got hold of two small rafts that some officers had had the presence of mind to throw overboard. They tied them together and picked a number of survivors, six of whom were children. Four of the women were put on the raft with children on their laps and the nurses guided the rest to hold on to the ropes on the side. In an effort to keep them awake, Margot swam round the rafts to remind them not to let go of the ropes because the currents were strong.

Margot Turner in Malaya.

“MARGOT WAS COMPLETELY ON HER OWN, PARCHED BY THE SCORCHING SUN AND DRIFTING WITHOUT DIRECTION IN THE SHARKINFESTED SEA. SUSTAINED

BY HER FAITH, SHE DID NOT GIVE IN TO DESPAIR” survivors and many had no option but to swim to the nearest island. Margot was one of those who had to battle against the currents, but she managed to make it to the shore. Others fared much worse when Japanese planes divebombed and machine-gunned them.

Margot did not have much time to enjoy her lucky escape. Soon after reaching the shore, another ship from the escape fleet, also carrying wounded soldiers, women, children and rescued survivors, entered port.

The captain asked for volunteers to help the wounded and Margot promptly and unhesitatingly answered this plea for help. After a hard day’s work, just when Margot and her team were about to enjoy a well-earned rest, a Japanese warship opened fire on their ship and hit the hull, which was packed with wounded. The ship canted over and sank. Margot again escaped with her life; she had managed to jump overboard just in time.

But parched by the sun and without food and water, the children became mad and died. “I examined each of them with great care before committing their little bodies to the sea,” said Margot. Out of exhaustion and despair, the women too started losing their will to live and Margot’s companion nurse, who, having been gravely wounded, had lost a lot of blood, was too weak and died.

Before long, only one other woman besides Margot was left. They both climbed on the raft and drifted with the currents, which, luckily, carried them within sight of land. Seeing that all was not lost, they got hold of some driftwood, which they used as oars, and tried to steer towards the island.

But after a while, her companion lost the paddle. Unheeding Margot’s advice, she tried to swim to catch it, but the current carried her away. Now, Margot was completely on her own, parched by the scorching sun and drifting without direction in the shark-infested sea. Sustained by her faith, she did not give in to despair.

Her prayers were heard when on the night of the third day it rained. She sucked the water from her clothes, ate some seaweed and, remembering that she had a compact mirror in the pocket of her dress, she used it to

collect the water. In the afternoon of the fourth day, looking out at the horizon, she spotted a ship and made feeble attempts to attract its attention.

It was only after a The popular biographical TV programme, This is Your Life, chose to honour the life of Brigadier sailor lifted her on to Dame Margot Turner. the ship that she realised she had been rescued by the enemy. Luckily, the ship’s doctor not only spoke English, but he was also very kind and did his best to save her. He continued to take care of her even when the ship docked in Banka, an island off the coast of Sumatra.

Margot now found herself in a camp with 700 other prisoners some of whom were Australian and British nurses. The conditions in the camp were terrible. The cells were small and overcrowded; the open drains used as lavatories not only stank, but were also infested with disease-carrying mosquitoes. Margot herself had septicemia and would have died had it not been for the timely intervention of a Scottish doctor and the care shown by Dutch nuns.

Most of the time, prisoners lived on a starvation diet of banana leaves and tapioca. The camp guards made sure that inmates never got a full night’s sleep. But their worst humiliation was the Tenko – when they all had to gather in an open space for a head count. This took place more than once a day and usually at the hottest hours. Many fainted and several died.

Margot and four other nurses volunteered to work in a hospital run by Dutch and Indonesian doctors. At first, all went well, but the atmosphere changed radically when the Dutch doctor was killed and replaced by a Japanese one.

Accused of spying, they were sent to a secret prison, sharing a tiny cell with common murderers, thieves and rapists. Their worst torment was the screaming of the tortured prisoners and the nagging fear that they could be the next victims.

It was from this prison camp that Margot and many women prisoners were taken back to her first internment camp. Many did not survive the inhuman conditions of the three-day-long journey by train. The camp was overcrowded and unhygienic; food and water scarce. Many died of malaria and dysentery and one of Margot’s tasks was digging graves to bury her dead companions. Japan surrendered in August 1945, and in September, Margot and her fellow prisoners were air-lifted to Singapore.

After the war, Margot was made a Dame, awarded the Royal Red Cross medal and made an Officer of the British Empire. She resumed her career and one of her foreign postings was Malta. She became director of the Army Nursing Service, and from 1969 to 1974, she served as Colonel Commandant of Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps.

Margot died in 1993 at St Dunstan’s Home for disabled ex-servicemen and women.

Oltre Pama Shopping Village, Valletta Road, Mosta.

Tel: 2143 2626

ACCESSORYSTORY

LET THE SUNSHINE THROUGH As spring starts seeping in, and sunglasses are even more necessary to block out the sun, here’s a selection to update your most important accessory of all.

Just Cavalli, €117, O’hea Opticians.

Etnia Barcelona, €199, O’hea Opticians.

Photography Matthew B. Spiteri Make-up Amanda Greaves Model Nicole @ Supernova MM

Etnia Barcelona, €199, O’hea Opticians.

Dior, €265, O’hea Opticians.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 29

SHOWSTOPPER

Coat, €99; blouse, €72; trousers, €79, all Oltre ∫ beret, stylist’s own.

30 ∫ Pink March 2018

SHOWSTOPPER

THE It’s not yet time to ditch that light layer of outerwear, essential for city living.

Photography Kurt Paris ∫ Styling Marisa Grima [marisagrima.com] ∫ Hair Marlene Vassallo ∫ Make-up Marlene Vassallo ∫ Model Merve @ Supernova MM ∫ Location Fort Cambridge Jacket, €41.99 [sale price]; top, €23.99 [sale price]; trousers, €23.99 [sale price]; bag, €14.99 [sale price]; shoes, €23.99 [sale price], all Noos.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 31

SHOWSTOPPER

Jacket, €55; T-shirt, €21; trousers, €29, all Miss Selfridge ∫ trainers, €25.99, Jennyfer.

32 ∫ Pink March 2018

SHOWSTOPPER

Jacket, €41.99 [sale price]; culottes, €47.99 [sale price]; shirt, €35.99, all Noos ∫ shoes, €29.95, Stivaletti.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 33

SHOWSTOPPER

Jacket, €95; trousers, €49.95; shirt, €39.95; T-shirt, €19.95; bag, €29.95; shoes, €39.95, all Marks & Spencer.

34 ∫ Pink March 2018

SHOWSTOPPER Jacket, €35.99; T-shirt, €9.99; trousers, €35.99; shoes, €25.99, all Jennyfer.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 35

SHOWSTOPPER

Top, €33; trousers, €42, both Miss Selfridge.

36 ∫ Pink March 2018

SHOWSTOPPER Jacket, €29.99; shirt, €12.99; zip-up, €19.99; trousers, €35.99, all Jennyfer.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 37

FASHIONSTORY

International supermodel and global brand ambassador for Tommy Hilfiger womenswear, Gigi Hadid has just revealed the Spring 2018 TommyXGigi capsule collection – her fourth collaboration with iconic American designer Tommy Hilfiger. It celebrates speed – from Tommy’s love of motor sports to Gigi’s fast-paced lifestyle. She tells fans they should wear what makes them happy. Fashion is the armour to face the world and everyone should embrace their personal style and rock it!

FASHION IN THE FAST LANE

40 ∫ Pink March 2018

FASHIONSTORY

What do you have in common with Tommy Hilfiger? We both believe in

our dreams. Tommy opened his first store when he was a teenager, and I first modelled when I was two years old. Hard work, dedication and an optimistic attitude helped us get to where we are in our careers and is also a huge reason we get along and respect one another.

How is this collection different from your first capsule? Our Spring 2018

capsule is completely different from anything else we’ve created and includes a strong focus on athletic wear. As someone who regularly works out, I love these bold, cool and very comfortable pieces.

I’m excited to see how our fans add their unique twist to the collection.

Through working with Tommy all these seasons, what are the most valuable lessons you have learned?

I appreciate Tommy’s way of never settling. He always wants to keep learning, keep growing his brand, and keep learning from younger generations on how to stay relevant, rather than let his success get in the way of any opportunity to improve.

What is the one word to describe your work with Tommy? Blessed!

want from each look and finding inspiration in everything around me.

What inspired you for the fourth TommyXGigi capsule collaboration?

What is your most memorable moment over the last four collections?

Spring 2018 celebrates speed and racing. We’ve combined Tommy’s love of motor sports with my personal twist on athleisure style. The strong, confident and modern Tommy Girl inspired us throughout the design process.

Showcasing our TommyXGigi capsules at the TommyNow runway events in different cities around the world has been amazing and extremely surreal.

The level of production really blew me away. I also got to present each collection with fans all over the world

“AS SOMEONE WHO REGULARLY WORKS OUT, I LOVE THESE BOLD, COOL AND VERY COMFORTABLE PIECES. I’M EXCITED TO SEE HOW OUR FANS ADD THEIR UNIQUE TWIST TO THE COLLECTION” What are your favourite pieces in the collection? I personally love the way

the windbreaker jackets turned out. I’m happy with the shapes and their ability to be worn as a fashion statement that is functional.

What is the co-design process when collaborating with Tommy Hilfiger?

Tommy has been an amazing design mentor and we’ve had a lot of fun creating all our capsules. I’ve learned so much about the importance of executing a design correctly for what I

during the #TogetherTour; and their incredible support really touched me. I am humbled by their love.

Do you prefer life as a model, or life as a designer? I love both. Of course,

modelling is my first love as I have a passion for photography and creating beautiful images. But collaborating on four collections with Tommy has been such an incredible experience that I learned a lot from. It’s amazing to see our vision come to life. It changed my life and I will never forget it.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 41

FASHIONSTORY

How do you find time to design a collection alongside your other projects?

I get so much energy from working with talented individuals on different projects, along with the adrenaline of the challenge!

Plus, creativity doesn’t feel like work to me, so really the design days are my favourite!

What is your best styling advice? Wear

what makes you happy. It’s your armour to face the world. Embrace your personal style and rock it!

“IN THIS INDUSTRY, ‘PRETTY’ IS THE NORM. KINDNESS STANDS OUT; HUMILITY STANDS OUT; INTEGRITY STANDS OUT”

my breathing so that I can be as present in the moment as possible. I try to set the intention before I step on the runway.

What is the most important lesson you learnt from all your experience as a model? In this industry, ‘pretty’ is the

norm. Kindness stands out; humility stands out; integrity stands out.

Who are your style icons and what did you learn from them? I love Rihanna and

the Olsen twins. They’re always genuine to what makes them feel their best, and they carry everything with confidence.

What does fashion mean for you?

Fashion is a way to express your personal style and feel confident.

Do you have any little rituals, or a good-luck charm you use before a show or important photo shoot? Whenever

I’m at a photo shoot, I think great music can really change the atmosphere of a room. It’s important to me to match the music to the shoot’s inspiration. Before a show, I just close my eyes and focus on 42 ∫ Pink March 2018

How does it feel to be such an icon for all the millions of fans following you? I feel a

responsibility to ensure they understand that just because someone has millions of followers, it doesn’t mean that’s the be-all and end-all and that everything is magically perfect. Whether we have zero or a million followers, we all wake up as human beings and need to empower ourselves each day. Live inspired.

Tommy Hilfiger loves motor sports and the theme of the collection is speed.

What are your favourite sports? When

What is a day in the life of Gigi Hadid like?

What fascinates you about racing and why? The technical aspect, the different

No two days are ever the same, which I love!

Which place on earth have you not seen but would like to visit one day?

The Grand Canyon.

I was younger, I was a really competitive horseback rider and volleyball player.

Now, I love to box, which requires a lot of speed, agility and power. I always feel energised after a boxing session.

ways they modify the cars to race differently, what the driver speaks to his team about while driving at 200mph.

Everything is intriguing.

FASHIONSTORY

Do you remember your first driving lesson? Yes, my driving teacher would pick

me up from school in a really embarrassing lime green student driver car.

If you were to become a racing driver, describe what your race day uniform would look like. It would be classic with

bold details, like oversized stripes, a cool zipper-pull and bright badges. Similar to my collection, I guess…

Have you ever been to a speed racing competition? I have been to a Grand Prix

race, and the energy is incredible. I love watching the crew during a pit stop. A flawless human machine, it’s very impressive.

What goal do you still want to reach? As long as there is the potential to push myself and create something really unique, I’m always open to new opportunities.

Name one thing people would be surprised to know about you. I studied

criminal psychology for two years.

You showed your fourth collection in Milan, considered to be one of the fashion capitals. Do you particularly appreciate this city? I have many

great memories in Milan, and I think Milan Fashion Week was the perfect place to present our Spring 2018 TommyXGigi collection because Italy was the first country to hold a Grand Prix race after France. Not only that, but the Milan stop on the TommyXGigi tour was one of the most attended by fans.

What are your favourite restaurants in Milan? Ceresio 7 is my favourite and I

always have a night there during Milan Fashion Week. The food is excellent and the views of the city are stunning. Being there takes my mind off the craziness of fashion month.

What’s your favourite Italian food?

I love anything Italian. Pasta, pizza, Caprese salad, bread. I could eat Italian food every day. Maybe even more than burgers!

The Spring 2018 TommyXGigi capsule collection premiered at the TommyNow experiential runway event, which recently closed Milan Fashion Week. The look is bold yet relaxed, with a playful fashion edge, inspired by Gigi’s own effortless twist on athleisure style. Timeless classics, including oversized outerwear, tailored jeans, sporty active wear and feminine dresses are reimagined in edgy leather, luxe silks and distressed denim. Athletic colour-blocking in red, white and blue is enhanced with a signature Gigi racing stripe print, graphic badges and embroidered speed logos, while gold zipper details and contrasting stitching and piping add a luxurious finishing touch and the silhouette is mix-and-match, with oversized pieces combining with super-skinny designs for a strong and confident new take on race-track style. Fans of the brand can view product styles as well as behind-thescenes images of the capsule’s creation at tommy.com.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 43

INTHEPINK Ariadne Massa finally bins her specs.

46 ∫ Pink March 2018

INTHEPINK

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW After a decade of poring over articles proclaiming the technological advances of eye laser surgery and after numerous aborted attempts, ARIADNE MASSA finally decides to stare her worst fears in the eye and has no regrets… Every day, she looks on in awe at a world without spectacles.

I

’m going to start off with a disclaimer to make it clear that this is not a sponsored article. I felt I had to write this because when I was contemplating the eye-laser procedure, I was desperate to read first-hand experiences and struggled to find any useful ones.

So, this is my story.

I never liked spectacles, nor ever wanted them, so when a routine eye test established I had a deficiency of -2.25 in my right eye at the age of 16, I knew I was going to rely on my perfect left eye for as long as I could.

Eventually, my eyesight deteriorated to such an extent – down to -5.50 in my left and -8 in my right – that had I lived in the Middle Ages, I would most certainly have been handed a white stick.

So, I finally found a pair of spectacles that suited me, but I still wouldn’t be seen dead wearing them out socially.

I never considered specs to be a fashion item; on the contrary, I always felt they cramped my style, so I had my spectacle-work look and a contact-lenses-socialising look.

Spectacles also left big red pressure points on my nose that remained there for days, plus they were a nuisance when it rained, or steamed up when I poured pasta in a colander. I also love playing squash and the sport is incompatible with wearing spectacles.

Contact lenses changed my life, but my eyes dried up easily and I could never tolerate them for long. Severe astigmatism didn’t help, so by the end, I was having to pre-order specific daily contact lenses that came at a hefty price tag of €100 a month.

The dawn of the eye-laser procedure seemed like the answer. But past stories of operations going horribly wrong still haunted me. The fear of damaging my eyesight surpassed the dread of wearing spectacles.

I was also too freaked out by the details of the Lasik procedure, where the cornea is cut and flapped open for

the laser to correct the eyesight. And although this method is still popular and extremely safe – several of my friends successfully underwent Lasik and their only regret is that they hadn’t done it sooner – just the thought of a corneal flap made me run miles.

Plus, as one of my closest friends kept reminding me, why did top ophthalmologists wear spectacles if the procedure was so great?

But over the years, technology made tremendous strides and when the new Saint James Hospital Eye Clinic in Birkirkara invested in machinery to exclusively perform Smile refractive surgery – the only technique available where laser surgery is performed without using any blade and without lifting any flap – I timidly ventured for an eye examination to see if I qualified.

You have to spend a week without wearing lenses before undergoing this examination, and since they use dilating eye drops, you cannot drive afterwards. It’s not painful, but it feels a bit weird and you cannot see clearly for about half a day, so keep these things in mind.

The examination is very intensive, and it gave me the opportunity to ask the doctor about my concerns – the poor guy dealt very well with my rapid-fire questions. I was especially won over by the fact that with Smile, there was less chance of suffering from dry eyes – a side effect of most other procedures – and it was minimally invasive.

“PLUS, AS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS KEPT REMINDING ME, WHY DID TOP OPHTHALMOLOGISTS WEAR SPECTACLES IF THE PROCEDURE WAS SO GREAT?” Smile – a clever acronym that stands for Small Incision Lenticular Extraction – is just a 15-minute procedure, where instead of cutting and flapping the cornea open, the laser operates through a tiny hole. This means the healing is much quicker and you don’t have to wear the uncomfortable eye patches.

I qualified for Smile and the appointment was set for a month later, on June 28. It was a scary commitment, but the reassurance that I could reschedule at any point calmed my nerves.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 47

INTHEPINK There’s never a good time to do eye laser, and as the date grew closer, my excuses became more pronounced: I had my nephew’s wedding three days later, I was running a marathon, I was going on holiday… I nearly chickened out, but my partner and friends encouraged me to bite the bullet once and for all.

I was just relieved it was over.

An hour later, I put on a pair of big sunglasses – your eyes are initially very sensitive to light – and was discharged.

That afternoon, I slept for most of the day and relished the darkness. I was never in any pain, I just felt a bit of discomfort and soreness.

D-Day

Days after the procedure

On the day of the procedure I woke up early, my nerves on edge and scared. I was scheduled to be at Saint James Hospital Eye Clinic at 11.15am.

I got ready. On the day, you cannot wear any eye make-up. No biggie; I was more worried about not being able to wear eye make-up for a week after the procedure. This may sound like a trivial thing for some, but I guess for me, make-up served as my armour to face the world.

Make sure somebody accompanies you on the day, to drive you there and back and to shower you with lots of TLC afterwards.

At the clinic, I was greeted by Andrei Camenzuli, the general manager, who immediately put me at ease. The poor guy had spent the past days working on reassuring me and patiently answering all my questions and text messages – I swear I’m going to recommend him for sainthood, for putting up with the likes of me and worse!

“I WAS JUST RELIEVED IT WAS OVER. AN HOUR LATER, I PUT ON A PAIR OF BIG SUNGLASSES – YOUR EYES ARE INITIALLY VERY SENSITIVE TO LIGHT – AND WAS DISCHARGED” At about noon, I walked into the room where ophthalmic surgeon Franco Mercieca was waiting. We joked about the fact I had been postponing this moment for so long, as I resisted the urge to run out. Instead, I laid down on the machine bed as Mr Mercieca dripped aesthetic drops to numb my eyes, and pinned them open with these ‘pegs’ to ensure you never blink.

I clasped my hands in a fisted prayer and waited. I was moved under the laser machine and told to look at a green light as a suction ring held my eye in place. The following sensation was really weird – I suddenly felt I was underwater looking up through grey murky seas, then blackness. My first eye was done, and they moved on to my left.

For those scared of pain, I assure you that you feel absolutely nothing while all this is going on.

The entire operation took just 15 minutes, and when it was over, Mr Mercieca told me to get up and read the time on the digital wall clock – it was 12.16pm and I could see without specs, albeit still a bit hazy.

48 ∫ Pink March 2018

The day after the procedure, I opened my eyes and automatically went to reach for my glasses, but they weren’t there, and I could read the time from a considerable distance – I did a little private jump for joy. I still struggled to read my text messages and e-mails, but it was early days.

That day, I had a post-op examination with Mr Mercieca. The operation was a success – I passed with flying colours.

Your eyes still feel sensitive and you have to follow a rigorous four-week schedule of eye drops to help the recovery process.

You also have to be careful not to wet or rub your eyes until a few days after the procedure.

I went about my life two days after the procedure, with some limitations and occasional blurriness until your eyes adjust. I was driving four days later – don’t worry, the halo effect from lights at night eventually disappears; and I was back to playing squash and running one month later.

But, I have to warn you: it does take time for the eyes to adjust, though it also depends on the individual. My biggest worry was that I couldn’t see very well when it came to reading e-mails, text messages, or books. I struggled and had to enlarge the text, which depressed me as I feared that after finally getting rid of my spectacles, I would now need reading glasses.

At times, your eyes may also feel kind of bruised, or you get an uncomfortable feeling as if you have contact lenses in your eyes that you’re dying to remove, but can’t. Rewetting eye drops and rest go a long way to provide a soothing effect.

My friend, who had done the procedure a month earlier, gave me some useful advice: “Get ready for weeks of paranoia, but you’ll be fine.”

He was right. It took me about four weeks until my eyes finally settled down and I could return to a normal font size.

Five months on Life after laser surgery is bliss. Today, I can see better than I ever did with spectacles and my eyesight is incredibly sharp, even when it comes to reading the fine print.

I still occasionally use rewetting eye drops, especially after a day of working on the computer; but other than that, I still marvel at the miraculous technology that helps me see unaided.

My life is now a burst of colour and clarity.

PINKPROMO

COMING TO GRIPS WITH VEINS Vein disorders in legs are shockingly common.

A large study in Europe suggests that more than 30 per cent of adults experience some sort of vein disorder in their legs. So what exactly is vein disease? And what’s new in vein treatment?

Dr FRANK FARRUGIA has the answers.

When veins are functioning normally, tiny valves open and close, keeping the blood flowing upward back to the heart.

But these valves can fail, causing the blood to flow backward and pool inside the vein. The failure of these tiny valves is venous insufficiency, or vein disease.

When the pooling of blood causes the vein to dilate or bulge, this is what we know as varicose veins.

Common Vein Disease Symptoms Chronic venous disorders, or CVD, is an umbrella term for any kind of long-term vein disorder. Vein conditions in the leg are especially common, so keep a close eye out for lower leg vein problems. Symptoms of vein problems include, but are not limited to, the following: swelling in the affected area [aka edema]; varicose veins; a heavy feeling in the legs; calf pain or repeated cramps in the calves; spider veins on the ankles; discoloured skin; skin condition known as dermatitis; eczema, which is a red, itchy, scaly rash; venous ulcers [open wounds]; veins that are excessively visible.

Risk Factors for Vein Disorders There is still some dispute about what exactly causes vein disease. There are some correlations that have been observed, however. Women are more likely than men to develop varicose veins and other venous insufficiencies. Genetic disposition may have an impact, as some families have a history of varicose veins.

Beyond gender and genetics, there are other factors that can put a person at risk for problems with their veins. Pregnancy increases a woman’s risk of developing varicose veins dramatically. Professions that require long periods of either sitting

or standing can cause an increased risk of vein insufficiency, as can obesity and age.

If these risk factors apply to you, make sure you are familiar with the symptoms of vein disorders. Vein problems are easier to treat if they are diagnosed early.

Treatment Options Where up to a few years ago ‘stripping’ was the gold standard to remove varicose veins, nowadays, endovenous laser therapy has taken over due to less complications, the same efficacy and a lower rate of vein recurrence and cost.

Today, the standard of care for vein treatment is minimally invasive, convenient, quick and much easier on the patient. With Endovenous laser ablation [EVLA], treatment is done in the office, without anaesthesia or discomfort, after which the patients get up and go about their life.

Also called endovenous laser therapy [EVLT] or radio frequency ablation [RFA], EVLA is a minimally invasive treatment used to address specific large varicose veins in the legs. It is considered the gold standard in treatment of venous symptoms and has largely replaced previous and more invasive standards of care, such as vein stripping.

EVLA has opened the door for many patients with venous disorders to eliminate symptoms and improve their appearance with minimal time investment and pain.

EVLA is an outpatient procedure performed with local anaesthetic. It begins with the placement of an IV access port directly into the leaking vein. Prior to the placement of the IV, the skin is numbed with a small amount of anaesthetic – the most painful sensation felt during the procedure. Once ‘access’ is established, a laser fibre is threaded into the vein up to

the highest place it is leaking. This can’t be felt because the inner walls of the veins do not have sensor receptors. Once in position, more numbing medicine is added to the outside of the vein; it should not be more uncomfortable than the first pinch when access was established.

Once the leg is numb, the laser is turned on or ‘fired’, sealing the vein shut from the inside out. The vein is eventually reabsorbed by the body and will no longer be visible on the surface of the leg. Blood is diverted to the many other healthy veins in the leg, and there is no ill effect from the loss of the troublesome vein.

Patients are able to return to work the next day with very limited restrictions.

Sclerotherapy is also used to treat veins just below the skin’s surface that are either invisible or difficult to see with the naked eye. In this procedure, small needles provide access to the vein, so a medicine called a sclerosing agent can be injected into its interior wall. This substance causes the vein to become sticky and seal shut, allowing the vein to disappear. Blood then finds a healthy path back to the heart. There is little risk of complication and patients often experience an immediate relief of symptoms.

Sclerotherapy can be performed either with ultrasound guidance or light assistance. Both are safe and effective procedures that eliminate the need for traditional surgical removal of veins.

Ambulatory phlebectomy is a minimally invasive out-patient procedure used to treat varicose veins that are too large to be effectively treated with sclerotherapy. It involves removing the vein through micro punctures in the skin. The defective vein is pulled to the surface of the skin and out of the leg through these small openings. Blood is diverted to the many other healthy veins in the leg; there is no ill effect from the loss of the vein.

This procedure lasts one to two hours and is performed under local anaesthesia.

No stitches are necessary in most instances and the micro punctures are nearly imperceptible. Following the procedure, a bandage or compression stocking is worn for a short period of time, and patients can resume activity immediately and return to their daily routine.

St Mary’s Clinic is at 9/11 Quarry Street, Mosta.

For more information, call on 21/27/7942 2888; ffarrugia@hotmail.com; www.smcmalta.com

Pink March 2018 ∫ 49

PINKSHRINK

HOW TO PURSUE OUR DREAMS

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Myth no. 1 TO BECOME MOTIVATED, YOU NEED SOMEONE TO MOTIVATE YOU

Myth no. 4

MYTHS ABOUT MOTIVATION There are a number of notions about motivation that are false, or not as effective as we may think. Here are a few examples:

Most people tend to believe that motivation can only be achieved through someone else. As much as people may often be an inspiration to us, there is no evidence showing that motivation can only be attained through others. If we surround ourselves with individuals who support us, we are bound to feel more motivated, but all studies seem to be indicating that it is the ‘inside’ that counts in each and every one of us. That’s right, we can only be motivated if we ourselves really believe and work hard on something. Motivational gurus may be a source of inspiration, but at the end of the day, we are as good as we want to believe we are and that depends entirely on no one else but ourselves.

Myth no. 2 IF WE WANT TO STAY MOTIVATED, WE NEED TO VISUALISE OUR SUCCESS

Experts in motivation often prophesise the importance of visualising our success.

At times, such a strategy can be a recipe for disaster for a number of reasons. First and foremost, success does not come thanks to spending hours on end visualising it. Secondly, visualising success may take up most of our energy and leave very little room for ways to achieve it.

This was confirmed by a study conducted

by Dr Heather Barry Kappes for the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in 2011. In her work, she proved that the art of staying motivated involves not only visualising the person we want to become, but also hypothesising and experimenting on ways we can achieve such motivation.

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TRYING HARD IS EVERYTHING!

How often have we heard that to achieve a goal, we need to work extremely hard and pay the price of suffering. Such a notion is rather fatalistic – so many people manage to stay motivated and achieve their goals without having to pay such a heavy price. In fact, according to two well-known organisational psychologists, Edwin Locke and Gary Latham, encouraging someone to do their best is actually pretty demeaning to them.

To stay motivated, we need to remain focused and invest the right amount of time and energy while keeping up a healthy lifestyle.

Dott. EDWARD CURMI motivates us to motivate ourselves. ife can be pretty monotonous, especially when we end up repeating the same patterns of behaviour on a daily basis. As much as such routines are often inevitable and allow us to enjoy our comfort zone, there should be more to life than repetition.

The ‘present’ can be pretty exciting if, apart from our daily routines, we develop motivation to strive to achieve new goals.

So, what are the dos and don’ts if we want to motivate ourselves to achieve new heights?

Myth no. 3

WRITING DOWN OUR GOALS ALLOWS US TO STAY MOTIVATED

A number of experts in the field of motivation often insist on the ‘Yale’ practice of writing down goals on a piece of paper, which should guarantee more than enough motivation. Obviously, there is no harm in doing this, but a study by Dr Lawrence Tabak debunked the idea. He asked students who were successful and motivated if they had ever written down their goals. The results showed that 97 per cent had never done so. Motivation happens to be slightly more complex than just writing our goals down.

PSYCHOLOGICAL TOOLS TO BECOME MOTIVATED Here are some of the right attitudes and tools to become more motivated and to rekindle more excitement for a new challenge: Cultivate realistic optimism Be honest with yourself and assess the real challenges that await you. As has been stated, visualising success is not enough. What we need to address are the possible challenges and pitfalls that we are bound to come across in life. Such situations might demotivate us and not allow us to fulfil our goals. Before we embark on a new journey, as human beings, we need to know ourselves and have foresight about potential stumbling blocks that we may encounter along the way. Only through an understanding of such behavioural patterns can we remain motivated and obtain our goals.

THINKPi Fashion

“IT MAY BE A PAINSTAKING EXERCISE, BUT ONLY WHEN WE REALLY KNOW WHAT OUR DREAM IS CAN WE CREATE THE RIGHT COMMITMENT AND MOTIVATION TO PURSUE OUR ULTIMATE GOAL” Be precise with your goal Evidence from several studies by Dr Locke and Dr Latham clearly shows that the more precise we are at identifying our needs, the more likely we are to be motivated to achieve our goals.

It may be a painstaking exercise, but only when we really know what our dream is can we create the right commitment and motivation to pursue our ultimate goal.

Channel your emotions Take charge of your feelings by trying to understand where most of your emotions stem from. Most of the time, our emotions are nothing but a result of our way of thinking. One little exercise that may be worth trying is to see what emotions are holding us back from being more motivated. Is it the feeling of frustration, or sadness, that is blocking us from being more motivated? Are we scared of failing, or actually succeeding and having to keep up our reputation? Try and trace back that emotion and link it with what negative thought you keep on repeating to yourself.

Once we become more aware of how we are talking to ourselves, we can explore new and more positive ways of thinking that may entice our motivation to achieve our goals.

Become aware of your strengths This is such a good idea, but very few people choose to go down this route. Most of the time, we are too busy exploring what we shouldn’t be doing, rather than focusing on what is actually working for us. Believe in yourself and make sure to remind yourself what your strengths are on a daily basis.

Stay positive Similarly, make it a point to use positive reinforcement.

After all, rewards are one of the most underrated forms of enhancing our motivation. We all need to feel recognised in some way or another. The world is made up of too many people who are always so ready to point out what we are doing wrong, leaving very little space for us to build our confidence. Such behaviour completely demotivates us. Therefore, to remain motivated, we must constantly reward ourselves as it only encourages us to pursue our dream.

Dott. Edward Curmi is a registered clinical psychologist, psychotherapist and author of the book Common Sense: a Better Understanding of Emotional Well-being, and its sequel More Common Sense: a Better Understanding of Emotional Wellbeing, available from Agenda Bookshops.

NEW ROLE FOR CAROLINA HERRERA Carolina herrera, founder and designer of her namesake brand, has taken the role of Global Brand ambassador.

With Carolina herrera assuming this position, she has appointed american designer Wes Gordon to the role of creative director, leading design and artistic direction for the new York-based fashion house. “i am thrilled with the evolution of the company over the past 37 years. our success has been tremendous and a true dream. There is still so much opportunity and i look forward to continuing to represent this house and our projects all around the world. i am so pleased Wes is now part of the herrera house – he’s the right one for this position to further build on our great momentum.”

Gordon’s first collection as creative director will be Resort 2019. he attended Central saint Martins College of arts and Design in London. Upon graduation in 2009, he launched his eponymous line of womenswear and presented his collection in new York from 2010 through 2016. he has been the brand’s creative consultant for the past year. Carolina herrera is a new York-based fashion house recognised for creating beautifully crafted collections synonymous with impeccable style and bold elegance. Founded in 1981 by Carolina herrera, the brand’s in-house atelier blends the traditions of haute couture craftsmanship with the wearability and pragmatism known to american fashion.

For the latest news from inside the house, visit Carolinaherrera.com and follow Carolina herrera on Facebook and instagram.

PICK OF THE MONTH Jennyfer women's blouse in black, with red, blue and white aztec-inspired embroidery, a high neck, back teardrop fastening and long, frilled sleeves.

Made of 100 per cent cotton and costing €29.99. Visit Jennyfer stores in Tower Road, sliema, Baystreet, st Julian’s, savoy, Valletta, or arkadia, Gozo.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 51

PARENTINGTIPS

RAISING GIRLS Educational and child psychologist Dr STEPHANIE SATARIANO tackles a hot potato – teenage girls. What’s troubling them today and how can they be handled?

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ne in 10 teenage girls is being referred to mental health services; and there has been a 68 per cent rise in self-harm among them.

Although this data is based on the population in the UK and is not available in Malta, it can be assumed that a similar trend is occurring here. What is of even more concern is that these are only the girls who are getting noticed.

Although boys too suffer from mental health difficulties, the figures appear to be lower; so the unique needs of teenage girls are being highlighted here.

Firstly, what is behind this rise in mental health difficulties among our female youth? Research is suggesting that today’s digital world is playing a big part. The pressures from social media and the 24/7 access to bullying is fuelling huge distress. Also, the media has ways to target young, vulnerable and impressionable teenage girls – from anything to do with fashion must-haves to the ideal weight.

And we cannot forget about the role models either; particularly thanks to the rise of reality TV shows that glorify bad behaviour, eating disorders and drug use.

So, is the answer forcing your teenage girl to ‘unplug’? In an ideal world, yes; no TV in their rooms, mobile phone

charging in the kitchen, parental controls on social media.

But most of us don’t live in an ideal world, and just the mere mention of that to your teenage girl would cause her to have a major meltdown and likely distance herself from you. And actually, her relationship with you, her parents, is one of the biggest resilience factors against mental health difficulties.

So, what can you try to do to mitigate external influences and help your daughter grow to be a strong, caring and resilient woman?

her to be kinder to herself, see her positive side and her value in the world, understand that she is not defined by her weight; then you need to believe these things about yourself and show them.

Even when they are around 14, when they are desperately trying not to be like you at all, everything you say is lodging in there somewhere.

Embrace the fact that you will have differences: she may not be concerned about weight, while you are; she may not want to do ballet anymore, while you want her to; you may not agree on her

“EVEN WHEN THEY ARE AROUND 14, WHEN THEY ARE DESPERATELY TRYING NOT TO BE LIKE YOU AT ALL, EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS LODGING IN THERE SOMEWHERE” Most importantly, foster your relationship with her in the best way you can. Try to listen without judgement, focus on her positives, acknowledge things she’s done well. Sometimes, just try to be with her and be there for her, rather than fuelling the raging hormones that seem to be always looking for an argument.

Mums, you also need to be a role model for the girl you want your daughter to be. Instil the values you want in your daughter by modelling them in yourself. If you want her to have selfrespect, you need to have it. If you want

choice of O level and A level subjects and her university course. Just remember to try and pick your battles and celebrate her strong sense of self; be proud that you have raised a daughter who knows what she wants and try to continue to foster this, rather than stifle it.

And don’t forget the dads; girls need strong relationships with their dads.

Fathers have the ability and the responsibility to teach their daughters how they should expect to be treated by men, as well as develop self-respect and a positive sense of self.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 53

READINGROOM

GET A NEW READING HABIT If you claim you've got 'no time' to read, HELEN RAINE puts these compelling tales at the top of your list to kick-start the habit. Not only will they keep you turning the pages, but they’ll make you think hard about the world and your place in it.

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here's plenty of evidence to suggest that one of the best ways to recover from burnout is through reading. A study by the University of Sussex found that reading is a stress buster, reducing anxiety by almost 70 per cent. And reading before bed is proven to be more relaxing than using an iPad, or watching TV. So here’s a list of tales to get you started…

SLADE HOUSE DAVID MITCHELL

THE POWER NAOMI ALDERMAN

Alderman’s prize-winning novel pulls us into a world in which teenage girls develop a new power. It originates from a cord of muscle called a ‘skein’ and gives them the ability to deliver a powerful electrical current, essentially making them more physically powerful than men. Within weeks, parents are warning their sons not to go out alone, abusers begin to fear their victims and the girls start to teach older women how to harness their own potential. If you’re not instantly hooked by the idea, then the sublime writing and exquisite structure will drag you in regardless. The narrative follows several women as they explore their new powers, interspersed with 54 ∫ Pink March 2018

glimpses into the highly dystopian future that results when the established social order is overturned. It begins with a letter, written in the far future by a female professor to a male student, and filled with the kind of subtle put-downs that women experience every day. This is a book that will make you think hard about equality between the sexes and the role of physical power in relationships. It forces us to address the question of what would happen if feminism became about domination.

Would we be complicit, and hell-bent on revenge; or would we retain our humanity and resist? Alderman’s book is an ultra-innovative must-read for the post #MeToo world – and it’s also a ripping good story.

Slade House is a run-down mansion in London, accessible via a small iron gate in one of those long, brick alleyways. At least it is sometimes. On other days, it is simply… not there. Those who find it and enter don’t tend to come back to tell the tale. They find themselves caught in a battle between ‘soul suckers’, who lure very specific victims into their home, and a rather better class of spirits, who want to save them. The victims are ambiguous, and the author delights in evoking our sympathy for them even as they reveal the worst side of

themselves. There’s enough comedy here to keep the book from being truly scary, but it does have some inky-black goosebump moments. If you need a fantastical escape to a horribly believable world, Mitchell is your man. I can pretty much guarantee you’ll be ordering his other books before you’ve even finished the final chapter. He also conjures characters from one book into the next; have fun finding out who…

THE LITTLE RED CHAIRS EDNA O’BRIEN

A parochial Irish village and a genocide in Bosnia might seem to have little connection; it’s a testament to O’Brien’s skill that when the two worlds collide, the reader remains utterly convinced. Her novel starts off gently, circling around the frustration and loneliness of Fidelma, the younger wife of a local shopkeeper, trapped in an unhappy marriage in rural Ireland. Her delicate psychological state means she is susceptible to Vlad, a charming stranger who purports to be a natural healer and sex therapist. Vlad brings a touch of the exotic to her humdrum existence and

THINKPINK FASHION

“SOMEONE WHO CAN BE A GOOD FATHER, A CHARMING LOVER AND A LOYAL FRIEND CAN ALSO BE CAPABLE OF THE RUTHLESS ANNIHILATION OF A GROUP OF HUMANS IN PURSUIT OF A GOAL THEY SEE AS NOBLE”

VERSACE WOMEN FALL WINTER 2018 SHOW AT MILAN FASHION WEEK Photography Justin Ciappara

BEHOLD THE DREAMERS IMBOLO MBUE

Jende Jonga is a Cameroonian refugee living in New York and trying to play the immigration system to make a better life for himself, his wife Neni and their young son. When Jende lucks out with a job as a driver for Clark Edwards, an executive at Lehman Brothers, the future starts to look rosy. But Lehman’s is on the verge of collapse and a hefty portion of

provides a possible solution to her desperate desire for a child.

O’Brien lets the reader know early on that Vlad is not all he seems; much of the book is based on the story of Radovan Karadži´c, The Butcher of Bosnia, who hid in Vienna, disguised in little more than a beard and ponytail. The book explores the dichotomy that is sometimes observed in mass murderers; someone who can be a good father, a charming lover and a loyal friend can also be capable of the ruthless annihilation of a group of humans in pursuit of a goal they see as noble. O’Brien uses that confusion to play with readers’ emotions. Vlad has become everything to Fidelma and his capture will be her undoing – so do we still want him arrested and brought to justice? Vlad falls, but he takes Fidelma with him, and she is exiled to a foreign land, just like many of the other immigrants who appear in the story. O’Brien’s book will carry you from the petty spite of a small village to bottomless evil on a global scale.

the US economy will fall with it.

The Jongas face some hard decisions as they struggle to make ends meet in a country where the streets were meant to be paved with gold. The book humanises not only the refugee family, but also the bankers that we love to hate; Mbue is too good a writer to leave Edwards as a cardboard cut-out. As the Jonga family hurtles towards an ultimatum, the Edwards family has to navigate some acute suffering of its own. The book shines new light on the refugee story; the lessons hidden in the compelling writing apply as much to Malta as they do to New York.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 55

GIRLTALK THE VIRGINIA MONOLOGUES

SECURITY ISSUES…

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oing through airport security is pretty high on my things-I-hate-to-do list. I don’t think I am unique in this respect. I really don’t think there is anyone who actually enjoys removing half their attire [belt, boot, bangle, hat, jacket, cape, coat, muffler] to still risk the prospect of bleeping and then having to go through hoops and other attendant obstacles, including removing the contents of hand luggage [laptop, iPad, liquids, toothpaste] to be able to go on holiday.

I do everything possible to minimise the inconvenience and I have become quite the expert. I haven’t travelled with a belt in years; I’m careful not to wear heavy jewellery and restrict myself to the bare minimum; I tend to wear boots that double up as booties and I usually get away with not having to take them off.

Having to go through security once in a day is bad enough. Having to do it twice – at the same airport – is sheer torture; it’s enough to make anyone weep. Which is what I did. More than once.

Now you must know that I have been travelling solo for years. The first time I did it, I was probably nine years old as

56 ∫ Pink March 2018

an unaccompanied minor, but that didn’t really count. Still, for the last 25 years – and perhaps longer – I have always navigated airports and airport security alone, without any difficulty.

And while I am not the sort of person who feels compelled to be at the airport five hours before take-off, I like to give myself a full two hours from check-in until boarding. That usually gives me enough time to get my boarding pass, go through security, do some lastminute airport shopping and have a bite to eat before heading to the departure gate.

16, boarding at 14.10pm, I have no reason to doubt its veracity.

So, I turned up at the gate at 13.30pm, a good half-an-hour before boarding time and waited for the gate to fill up. I guess I could have marched up to the attendant and just double checked to make sure this was the flight to Rome, or asked the Asian-looking girl next to me, but I didn’t. I actually had a little quarrel with myself about it, which is uncanny.

So when I finally presented myself and my boarding pass to the desk attendant at 14.45pm and was casually

“THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS THEY WRITE STAND-UP COMEDIES ABOUT: I SAW THE WHOLE THING FLASH BEFORE ME. ‘DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CROSS OVER THE YELLOW LINE MADAM, THE GATE IS CLOSED. I’M SORRY MADAM, YOU CAN’T BOARD THE PLANE. I AM GOING TO HAVE TO CALL SECURITY!’” I admit, I’m not big on checking my gate on the airport screens, which are either too high, or too small, or too damn far. I rely on the information written on my boarding pass and this has always worked adequately for me.

When my boarding pass indicates Gate

told that ‘the gate to Rome had changed and was now boarding at Gate 26’, I suddenly knew that I was not going to be leaving that airport anytime soon.

I tried running as fast as my legs would carry me, which wasn’t very far, or fast, with hand luggage, a hand bag

THINKPINK FOOD

and airport goodies. When I did finally make it to Gate 26, which was empty, apart for the people behind the desk, I knew it was no use. The aeroplane was still there, taunting me, but clearly, I was not going to get on it. This was one of those moments they write stand-up comedies about: I saw the whole thing flash before me.

‘Do not attempt to cross over the yellow line madam, the gate is closed. I’m sorry madam, you can’t board the plane. I am going to have to call security!’ Not again.

I didn’t even have the energy to argue, or cry. But I tried both. Why hadn’t my name been called? Why were there no announcements alerting me to the fact that the gate had changed? Why had nobody told me to be sure to check the gate on the screens because boarding passes were obviously not worth the paper they were written on?

Apparently, there is such a thing as a ‘silent airport’ – where you are responsible for whatever goes wrong and for any changes that occur.

The onus is on you and only you.

It took me about two hours to get a grip and find the strength to leave Departures and go back to square one.

Now I had to find another flight out of the country and that was only Part 1 of the problem. I would miss my connecting Rome-Malta flight and would have to overnight in Rome and then find another flight out of Rome and back to Malta. Had I gone to the wrong gate, fallen asleep, or left it too late, I would have accepted liability completely. But this was not my fault.

Of course, when I finally got myself a new ticket and new boarding pass and made my way back through security, I

could not contain myself.

That is when I broke down completely. Would they make me leave behind all the goodies I had just bought from Departures because they were over the 50ml mark? Did I still have the receipts and proof of purchase? How would I explain that I had already been screened and that I was not meant to be here? The look of horror on my face must have been visible to all because I was somehow whisked away and allowed to jump the queue. I think tears must have been streaming down my face.

This was way too much horror for one day. And this little bit of kindness went a long way towards making me happy. It did not go unnoticed.

The plane did finally leave and I got on that plane, but not before encountering a few more setbacks. However, I did meet a couple of really nice people whom I definitely would not have met had I been on the first flight back to Rome.

I think what impressed me the most was the complete lack of empathy from airport staff throughout my ordeal.

People at airports need to be courteous and supportive.

They’re the last impression of the country you take home with you and they determine whether you will ever want to return.

I wasn’t even offered a glass of water, let alone any assistance. When you’re in a non-English-speaking country, you really do rely on the help and goodness of people, especially when you feel you have been wronged. Which is why I will never forget the woman who allowed me to skip the security queue, second time round. She is obviously one of the good ones.

ARTICHOKE-BASED BITTERSWEET LIQUEUR Cynar is an artichoke-based bittersweet liqueur known for its versatility and distinctive flavour; its taste is enriched by an infusion of 13 herbs and plants. The name of the drink derives from Cynar scolymus, the botanical name for artichoke. Created by Angelo Dalle Molle, a Venetian entrepreneur and philanthropist, Cynar was launched in Italy in 1952. Since then, the brand has grown and is now distributed internationally. Cynar became popular in Italy thanks to the first ads [during the Italian Carosello] performed by the famous actor, Ernesto Calindri, and the claim “Cynar, against the attrition of modern life”. Thanks to its refreshing and herbal bittersweet features and its moderate ABV [16.5 per cent], Cynar is an ideal pre- or post-dinner drink, and a bartender favourite to create pungent and original cocktails. It can be enjoyed neat on ice and a slice of orange, or as a long drink, mixed with Kinnie or tonic water. Cynar is marketed and distributed by Farsons Beverage Imports Company Ltd. For trade enquiries, call on 2381 4400.

LIMITED-EDITION BOTTLE For the 2018 Jameson Limited Edition Bottle, Irish artist Claudine O’Sullivan reached into the tales of the Fianna for inspiration.

The Fianna were young warrior packs, guided by a set of mottos and known for their unity and brotherhood in the face of adversity. Nowadays, those themes still ring true, even if epic battles have made way for craic-filled nights out.

ginantonic@live.com

Pink March 2018 ∫ 57

TRAVELOGUE

ME, MYSELF AND I Thinking of going solo? But not before you read about HELEN RAINE’s adventures. She tells PINK, from frightening first-hand experience, why travelling alone as a woman can be empowering… as long as you follow your intuition and know how to spot the pitfalls.

I

was standing in the lobby of a very insalubrious hotel in Hong Kong when a man approached me. He was white, maybe Dutch or Danish, and not bad looking.

But there was something about him that put me on alert.

I was 23, a single woman on a roundthe-world backpacking trip, and by this point in the journey, my radar had become very finely honed. Travelling alone was freeing, exciting and challenging – but it also had its risks.

Something about that man told me that he was one of those risks.

I was already sleep deprived and a little rattled. The ‘hotel’ was little more than a series of tiny bunk rooms opening off long, poorly lit corridors. It was called the Chung King Mansions and it was all I could afford.

When the manager led me to my cramped accommodation the previous night, we went past rooms crammed to bursting with single men, sitting four to a bunk in stained underwear. The lock on the door was flimsy. I slept with my penknife open under my pillow. It was the first time I felt so exposed on my travels.

“Do you want to go to dinner,” asked the man.

When I got back, he was still there.

“No friends then?” he asked. His smile was unnerving. I ignored him, but that night, I wedged the rickety chair under the door handle, and the next morning, I headed straight to Macau, desperate to get out of that alien city.

And there, I had just the opposite experience. On the bus, I was befriended by a perky Australian girl, travelling

“THE LOCK ON THE DOOR WAS FLIMSY. I SLEPT WITH MY PENKNIFE OPEN UNDER MY PILLOW. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I FELT SO EXPOSED ON MY TRAVELS” I didn’t smile. “No thanks,” I said. “I’m meeting friends.” And then I went out alone and ate alone because Hong Kong was not a city where you fall into easy conversation with people.

with her boyfriend and his friend.

Accommodation was still expensive, so we agreed to share. She disappeared into her room with the boyfriend. The friend and I were ushered into another room.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 61

TRAVELOGUE There was only one bed and it screamed ‘sex’. It was covered in red velvet and was in the shape of a heart. When we sat on it, it vibrated. Even so, I felt 99 per cent sure that the boy from the bus wouldn’t lay a finger on me. And despite the brothel décor, I was right.

Dr Kelly Turner of Psychology Today has studied how intuition works. She says that we have two “operating systems”. The first is “our quick, instinctual, and often subconscious way of operating”, controlled by the “reptilian” parts of our right brain that have been around since prehistoric times. The second is a conscious, slower and more analytical system, controlled by our left brain.

Travelling alone puts you on the fast track to getting to know your reptilian side – a throwback from when you could be eaten in a heartbeat. It’s a pretty useful life lesson.

Perhaps the man from the lobby was a perfectly nice chap, but single female travellers can’t take the risk of finding out.

I accepted plenty of offers – hiking to waterfalls with an American I’d just met, sharing a taxi in Bangkok with the guy I sat next to on the plane – but I also turned down invites like from the Aussie soldier who wanted me to go to a party [I sat alone and bored in my room that night, half regretting it].

The system worked though. In the three months that I travelled alone around

“I EXPERIENCED A PUSH AND PULL BETWEEN THE DESIRE FOR NEW EXPERIENCES AND THE NEED TO STAY OUT OF DANGER; I TRIED TO ERR ON THE SIDE OF SAFETY, WITHOUT GETTING PARALYSED BY FEAR”

She says we can often trust that “gut instinct” reaction because “researchers have found that System 1 often knows the right answer long before System 2 does”.

Turner adds: “Studies have found that when it comes to making major life decisions, such as which person to marry, trusting your intuition leads to better outcomes than trusting your logical, thinking brain”… which is why I am writing this article instead of being dead in a ditch at the hands of a Dutchman.

The problem is that because we live in a relatively safe world [i.e. most of us are not about to be attacked by a tiger], the prehistoric part of our brain is not triggered very often and when it is, Turner says, “we are not familiar with it, so we tend to ignore its messages”.

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New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, China and Macau, I had a few shaky moments [like when the guide in Fiji lay down on the floor of the taxi so that his “rival wouldn’t see him”, stealing all of my money and plane ticket out of my bag in the process], but nothing that I couldn’t get out of.

Travelling alone wasn’t always easy.

It could be exhausting to constantly introduce myself, and there were some things, like long hikes over exposed terrain, which I just didn’t dare to do on my own.

But it also meant that I was always in charge; I could change my plans on a whim. [“Hey, we just met, but you’re going to Magnetic Island in a camper van – can I come too?”] I could have crazy conversations with the dreadlocked

Israeli I might have ignored if I was in a comfortable twosome.

I experienced a push and pull between the desire for new experiences and the need to stay out of danger; I tried to err on the side of safety, without getting paralysed by fear.

Something else I discovered is that tourist centres are where the scammers linger, trying to catch you out or draw you in. So, sometimes, the safest places were off the backpacker thoroughfare, hanging out with the locals, who were happy to engage – they were certainly the most interesting.

Yes, I was stared at [one man almost fell off his bike in China, he was craning round for so long to gawp at me] and people occasionally fingered my blond hair because it was nothing like theirs, but I could always just get back on the bus if the fingering dropped below the shoulders [and it did, on occasion].

And of course, there were some additional things I did to stay safe. My rules included trying to choose reputable hostels with plenty of other travellers, where I could appear to be part of a group if necessary [the Chung King Mansions was not the norm].

I let people know where I was. I tried to check maps and get directions before I set off so that I didn’t look like a lost, easy target on the street. I buddied up with other travellers whenever I could. I wore a money belt. I wore a wedding ring. I’d like to say I packed light so that I could make an easy getaway, but that would be a lie – my backpack was so huge that when I lost my balance once, I was marooned on my back with my legs kicking, like a blueshelled turtle.

But no matter what precautions I took, I was not always safe. Not 100 per cent.

Not then, not travelling in a group, not ever. And that’s the point.

American journalist Mary Schmich said: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” With solo travelling, that’s easy. But after you’ve survived joining groups of strangers, become comfortable with your own company and experienced the world with no one for back-up, you’re stronger.

I returned believing I could do anything.

And I also knew when a smile would work wonders… and when a hard scowl would freeze the ardour of the wannabeHong-Kong-sex-pest. And that’s empowering.

WOMENONWHEELS

Feeling at home TV personality TEZARA CAMILLERI finds the New Ford Fiesta so easy to settle into that she forgets she’s actually test-driving it!

M

y appointment at Gasan Zammit Motors Ltd seemed to have been perfectly scheduled because the weather the day before, and the day after my test drive, made the streets in Malta look like a scene from the movie The Perfect Storm [minus the ship and George Clooney – although the latter would have been greatly welcome].

I may not have been given a hunky middle-aged actor to drive alongside, but I was handed the keys to the New Ford Fiesta to take out for a spin.

As I got into the car and adjusted the steering wheel and the height of my seat, I noticed the steering and gear shifter were both covered in leather.

I also realised that apart from having airbags for the driver and the passenger in the usual places, it’s also got a knee airbag on the driver side.

The car’s stereo comes with a USB and auxiliary port and also six inbuilt speakers – for you to listen to XFM 100.2 at full volume! Speaking of

volume, it can be adjusted through the audio control buttons found on the steering wheel.

One of the Ford Fiesta’s most interesting features is the Ford Sync system, which syncs your phone to the car and allows you to make or take calls via a Bluetooth hands-free system. With this upgrade, this feature is extended to syncing your whole phone through a phone-mirroring function, which means you can access all your apps from the eight-inch touch screen of the car.

changing from one lane to another and assists the driver to keep within a lane.

The rear-view camera is always a bonus feature if, like me, you are reluctant to admit you have trouble parking.

Seeing as I took the car out on the one sunny day we were blessed with that week, I didn’t experience any rain while on the road, so I didn’t get to use the automatic wipers and headlights; nor did I need to use the manual airconditioning, which has the option of upgrading to climate control.

Upgrading to a panoramic roof is also an option if you want to add that extra touch and enjoy gazing at the stars from the comfort of your car from time to time.

On the drive back to the showroom, I got caught up chatting to the

“NOT THAT I WAS SPEEDING, OR GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BECAUSE OF TRAFFIC, BUT THE FIESTA HAS AN ADJUSTABLE SPEED-LIMITING DEVICE, WHICH RESTRICTS THE CAR FROM GOING OVER A PRE-DETERMINED SPEED LIMIT” Not that I was speeding, or given the chance to because of traffic, but the Fiesta has an adjustable speed-limiting device, which restricts the car from going over a pre-determined speed limit. It also gives a warning signal when

photographer, and for a few moments, completely forgot I was test-driving a car. The New Ford Fiesta is very easy to settle into and has so many features to assist you while driving that it’s no wonder I felt this way.

Pink March 2018 ∫ 65

SNAPSHOT

Photography Jacob Sammut

F

Mikhail Basmadijan, Victor Debono and Anthony Ellul for the first time in my previous play Moving Mountains, which we performed at the end of January, and we were all joking about how we couldn’t get rid of each other for a whole four months of rehearsals!

rom Hbieb u Ghedewwa to Pagna minn Ktieb, you’re likely to have seen Antonella on TV at some point, or another. If not, then on stage in one of the many productions she’s performed in, or at the latest National Book Festival, dressed up as Mary Poppins…

Her busy schedule is constantly peppered with different artistic ventures, with the next one being Brad Birch’s adaptation of Henrik Ibsen’s En Folkefiende – An Enemy of the People, which follows the story of Dr Stockmann, a scientist and employee of a new spa, who leaks a major scandal to the local papers in his Norwegian hometown. Its timeless themes of power, deception, family, and greater good have made this 100-yearold story a classic in the genre.

You do so much career-wise…

How do you manage? Indeed! I

do do a lot of different things and sometimes – when the stress reaches boiling point – I wonder if I do too many… But all the things I do are linked together by creativity and the arts. As a creative freelancer, one has to be flexible and versatile, especially in a small country like Malta. My favourite thing is acting, though.

I just love getting lost in my roles and I find it quite easy to ‘become’ the characters I interpret once I’ve ‘found’ them.

What inspired you to take-up acting? I don’t know where I got

the acting bug from as no one in my family is a performer of any sort, or even artistic. They all have their heads very well screwed on, unlike myself ! Even so, I think I have always been a performer, so it was never a conscious decision, really. In Year 1, I was already on stage reciting a poem called Is-Sapuna. Every year in Primary and Secondary after that, I played roles in the schools’ Christmas and Prize Day productions, especially at 66 ∫ Pink March 2018

You recently co-wrote, produced and acted in a film.

Tell us about it. The short film is

A CREATIVE LIFESTYLE For Antonella Axisa, life is one big creative adventure. Here, she tells us all about her work in TV, film and, her first love, theatre – with particular focus on her upcoming role in Unifaun Theatre Production’s An Enemy of the People, directed

by Toni Attard and incredibly apt for the times we are living in.

the then-Carlo Diacono Secondary School in Zejtun, where teachers like Trevor Zahra instilled in us a true love for theatre. When I finally reached the minimum age to join the Drama Centre [at the time, there were no other drama schools and you had to be 14 before you were able to join], I started attending religiously and did so for more than six years. I loved my time there!

You’ll soon be taking on the part of Mrs Katherine Stockmann in An Enemy of the People. Why did you say yes to this role? The director

of the piece, Toni Attard, sent me the script saying: ‘If you like the role, it’s yours.’ I’ve known Toni since those early drama-school days and we worked together for many years in the theatre group aleateia, so I trust him blindly as an artist. Also, the fact that he thought that I would fit the role was already a good indication that I’d be in for a good one. Then, after I read

the script, I confirmed that the play was a fantastic piece of writing – very tight, tense and truly compelling. So, in other words, it was a no-brainer!

The play looks at the relationship between the media and politicians in the wake of a scandal. What do you think is its relevance in contemporary Malta?

Indeed, the story is incredibly apt for the times we’re living in and I think it’s important for audiences to watch works of art that make them reflect on the world we inhabit. This play will make people think about the intricate interplay between politics and the media and about how human beings, with their loyalties, friendships, ties and personal interests, make everything very complicated.

called Marbut. It was produced with the support of the Malta Film Fund, directed by Winston Azzopardi and based on an original story by Simon Bartolo.

It’s a great story of a woman who abducts her ex-fiancée on his wedding day and… Well, I don’t want to reveal too much, but what I will say is that there’s an incredible twist towards the end that makes the film very compelling. I am now in the phase of applying for film festivals both locally and abroad, so fingers crossed.

What’s something people would never assume about you? Well, I spent my youth as

a passionate volleyball player…

I also love my sleep and can sleep anywhere – as my mum would say, even in water. If I have five minutes to spare on a very busy day, I’ll just sleep in the car, on a bench, on a random sofa, in a café…

Anywhere! Oh, and I hate garlic!

What’s next for you once An Enemy of the People is over?

What about the rest of the cast? From the first rehearsals,

Lots! I will be coordinating a youth theatre festival called Trikki Trakki with Teatru Malta.

It’s quite exciting to be working with the youths attending the new Malta Visual and Performing Arts School in Hamrun and seeing the same excitement in their eyes that I had when I was their age.

we all found ourselves very comfortable in our respective roles and working with the other actors. I worked with

An Enemy of the People will run between March 9 and 11 and March 16 and 18 at M Space in Msida. www.bluebox.com.mt