Zac Reynolds, Director of National Advertising zac@timeslocalmedia.com
A SONG FROM THE WOOD
In all manner of humanity. The motherly gaits and ‘Nam vets, the floral sun hats and deviant tats, the thick, the slight, the white, brown and black. And try, apply or taste: Organic soaps, desert-specific allergy stoppers and local-farm asparagus, and so on. Under a decorative race-horseand-jockey silhouette perched high on a pavilion, this Tucson farmers market is stoked in the springtime heat.
Somewhere amidst the proliferate rows of booth vendors and sun-venerating shoppers, and with no fanfare, not even a sign or business card, Romny Guillen stands behind a portable folding table, lithesome, an extensive grin and benign eyes under a straw guardian hat, a wrist wrapped in Mala prayer beads. He talks to anyone.
There is a quiet authority about him, suggests otherworldliness, buffers the noisy flow. English is his second language after Spanish and when he speaks his voice lifts to a certain volume and never exceeds it. His table brims with trimmings of Arizona trees — mesquite, ash, chokecherry, etc. — hand-carved into spoons, forks and knives.
Folks stop and shell $15 for a wooden cooking utensil, a steal considering
it took him years scraping, chiseling, layering and sanding, of diligence and craft, to perfect this precise skill.
The table centerpiece is a chuck of mesquite, the size of something a child could sit on. River-like swirls of tiny turquoise stones set in epoxy resin make it an alchemical dream of a thing, hand sanded and oiled, like some beautiful, aerial photorealist take of a rainforest.
Sprinkled about the table are little eyes out to the world, old bottle caps fitted with antique marbles and disparate finds like seashells and turquoise.
There is a calming beauty to this artist’s work, and folks who approach his table today sense a real deal. He enthuses of wood in a studious torrent of types, colors, strengths and aesthetics and they inspect his hand-carved one-of-a-kindness work in awe. A footshaped fork of mesquite, a spoon tiny as a fingernail.
He explains using his hands over electric tools, no different from his drawings and other art. “How I like to do things. I could make a hundred of these spoons a day with electric tools, power tools. But it takes me out of the zone.”
His eyes squint in the sun, he laughs, adds, “Anyway, they’re just so noisy and
WASH PACKAGES
I don’t like to carry around heavy tools.”
Someone will request a custom object, a wooden hairclip, for example, and Romny shakes his head. “It throws me off. So, I don’t really do that.” He doesn’t promote his work, either, zero social media. “I used to have Etsy and Facebook,” he said, shrugged, “I just don’t do that anymore.”
It stands to reason. He could sell a lot of his work. Today he’ll earn $300. Instead, he earns a living helping others through his art, and the art itself is his way to find calm in the world.
Romny was born into an impoverished childhood, grew up in the developing Dominican Republic. He likes to talk about its people, the animals, the trees, the way the sun felt, how it relates to a spirituality he tuned into as a kid.
He told of his mother hauling laundry to the river, dirt floors under feet, bumming 20-minute rides to dial a phone number. Surviving on food they could grow or pull out for roots, milk from animals, out on the grandparent’s rural farm. “For me, being a kid, it was like paradise, and there was food everywhere, fruit on the trees,” Romny said. “For my mom, not so much.”
“He was a catcher, at the time one of the best players in the DR,” Romny said. Memories of his father are vague, a man floating in and out of the picture. “He lost all of his jobs because of his drinking,” Romny said. “But he was a very kind person.”
In the 1980s, souring economic conditions in the Dominican Republic saw immigration to the United States surge, Romny’s family part of it.
He learned to build a fire, carve a hunted bird and cook it at age five. He learned to read young too, and was absorbed by the wilds of the outdoors, which turned creative, and soon he was drawing, building, and creating his own colorful kites.
Later, the family moved to the city, Santo Domingo. Still, he said, “we could count on the electricity going out every day.”
The alcoholic dad, who among other things (a teacher, a cop) became a star baseball player in a country mad for the sport. Sometimes he’d play drunk. He got out and traveled with a triple A team in America.
At 12, Romny arrived in the South Bronx, a Puerto Rican neighborhood, then a woebegone land of abject poverty, a ripe crack epidemic, all built on institutional racism. Romny remembers this 37 years later. His uncle and cousin collecting them at the airport and driving in. “I was looking at a skyscraper, thinking it would be nice to live in a building like that.” Oh, the excitement, the energy of a land of milk and honey, of opportunity, of sustenance and abundance. They kept driving, a cityscape growing progressively uninviting, until arriving on a street featuring gutted buildings, a burned down factory. The uncle stopped the car and said, “We’re here!”
“Oh, man,” Romny said. “And my school was at the end of the block.”
The family, mom, dad, sister, two brothers, couldn’t speak a lick of English, got by on Spanish. The family
Story & photos by Brian Smith
PEACE OF MIND LIVING AT ALBUM MARANA
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At Album Marana, you’ll find sophisticated residences with modern features in
addition to stimulating onsite offerings and beautiful social spaces to enjoy. They’ll be conveniently just outside your door; no need to drive anywhere! Your day might begin with coffee with new friends and then to the activities calendar to decide how your day will take shape. There is so much to do here. Each day will be full of variety and fun.
Album is the perfect place to share your passions, find new ones, and make friends easily along the way. What truly sets Album apart is the opportunity to have a real say in the active lifestyle clubs and events. Residents will create, contribute their talents, and run the clubs/events
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The Album Marana leasing center is now open and located at 7620 N Hartman Lane, Suite 172 Tucson, AZ 85743. Our team will be happy to provide you with more information on available apartment homes that will be move-in ready Summer 2023. Whether you are considering downsizing yourself or have a loved one far away that you want close, Album is an exciting option right here in Tucson!
Date: Tuesday, May 16th Time:
AlbumMaranaPoolCourtyard
moved around a lot, lived in the projects once, parents found work in a textile factory.
Romny would go to sleep at night, hoping it was all a bad dream and he’d wake up in the morning back home. “I was coming from the farm, picking mangos and then landing in the Bronx.”
He’s almost shocked at his own recall. He got into fights, made friends, learned English, avoided gangs, steered clear of trouble. He said in his heart he really couldn’t hurt anyone or anything, and anyway, “once you live in the neighborhood they don’t mess with you.”
He bagged groceries, assisted a butcher and afforded a used car. He was considered an “at-risk” kid for a spell. After graduating from South Bronx High School, he was gone, looking to untangle things, his own oppression, the world around him, and his family, in all its love and drama. He pulled an openroad-as-inner-discovery Kerouac when pre-cellphone travel into the West was still exotic, risky. Sometimes he’d travel with a friend or friends, mostly alone. Blew his mind; he still thought the entire United States looked like the South Bronx. Sleep in his car, under a tarp in the wilds. “I went as far as Alaska.”
Eventually he found his way into North Carolina, near Asheville. An educational organization called Outward Bound, where, as a high school student, he’d earned a scholarship and spent a few summers. The outfit taps into the
wilderness, rock climbing to canoeing, for personal growth. The very idea sidled up to his Caribbean Island boyhood, fueled his empathy for nature and living things. He discovered carving and wood sculpture. He was hired on as counselor, would save up and travel the offseason months. He stayed at Outward Bound for a decade.
He moved to Northern Arizona, which reminded him of the Dominican Republic in ways. He worked odd jobs including Barnes & Noble and Office Max (“that was the only job I ever
walked out of”) to save enough to climb into his car and fire up “some creativity.”
In Flagstaff, he worked in a state juvenile detention center and the experience left him sad, jaded. He developed bonds with some of the kids, saw hard punishments and kid restraints that didn’t fit crimes. “The system is so out-of-whack, the money wasted. I needed a break to take care of myself.”
Self-care involved the Buddhist texts he’d long been into, Taoism, Zen, which he found far less judgmental and wrathful than the fear-motivating Catholicism of his youth. Because of the detention center experience, he figured he’d have to travel to Nepal or India to find a Buddhist temple. Instead, he found the Garchen Buddhist Institute an hour and a half from his Flagstaff home. He wound up staying there two years, inspired by the teachers and their central Tibetan Buddhism aspects, the visualizations, mantras, meditation for enlightenment. “Besides having faith, I was still struggling. Tibetan Buddhism was like coming home. And they weren’t asking me for money, I helped out, landscaping, whatever. I felt very welcome.”
I ask Romny to define what kind of
artist he is and he returns a blank stare. Like, what?
His landscape photography, line art, carving, seems to be about capturing tender or oblique moments floating in the world around him, or pulling for his childhood. “I don’t know what to call it.” Romny is an autodidact, “just figured everything out.” He took a few art and photography classes in high school. He once took a pottery art class at NAU in Flagstaff. “Got an A in that one,” he laughs.
Much of his work embraces a certain kind of abstraction, muddles any application of a narrative. Like the man himself, it is lighthearted with a moral earnestness.
Later he shows me a piece into which he’s got 40 hours invested. It is one of his many hand-drawn geometric works, shapes and tiny lines in marker pens that take on 3D effects. The 2- by 3-foot piece flies in the face of computer-generated AI, and tiny abstract imperfections allow emotion to slip through, works like a killer Charlie Parker live recording. It is deceptively elaborate. A finished piece is hypnotic, reveals something from nature, or a form of prayer and meditation. Get him talking, and he agrees, and tells of such prayers in wholly unironic ways; sometimes a shy laugh brackets the wholly personal assertion, as a kind of embarrassment sensor, as if what comes from his lips might sound incredulous or
A SAMPLE OF ROMNY GUILLEN’S WOOD CARVINGS.
CURRENTS
SUMMERS ARE A PEAK TIME FOR BUSINESS AT LIFE UNDER THE OAKS LAVENDER FARM, ESPECIALLY FOR FAMILIES WITH YOUNG KIDS. (KATIE GILBERT/SUBMITTED)
BLOOM SEASON AT LIFE UNDER THE OAKS FARM
By Veronica Kuffel Tucson Local Media Staff
May is a special and busy time for Life Under the Oaks Lavender Farm, tucked in the foothills in Oracle. The start of summer marks the beginning of bloom season, saturating their fields with the flower’s signature hue.
“Bloom season is what everyone waits for,” owner Carolyn Blair noted. “The field is all purple, and there are thousands of bees and butterflies. It’s magical, you can see pictures of it and talk about it, but it’s one of those things you just have to experience.”
Life Under the Oaks prepares for its upcoming season with new products, workshops and events that come with this year’s harvest. Along with their famous afternoon teas, one of which is Sunday, May 14, Blair and her team will bring “a little bit of farm to the city” at their Downtown Tucson store, Lavender Manor.
Blair started using lavender for medicinal reasons, and after a visit to Washington, “the lavender state,” she decided to start her own farm in 2018.
It was a passion project combining her love for art and nature, but it also provided a key educational resource to those interested in lavender and its uses.
“It’s known as the mother herb,” Blair said. “You can cook with it, craft with it, use it for health benefits and nothing goes to waste. We use every bit of the plant for one item or another.”
Lavender is not usually seen as a desert flower, but it doesn’t need much water to grow. According to Blair, the older the plants are the less water they need. This makes them ideal for hot and dry climates, especially in mountainous regions that emulate their Mediterranean homeland.
Life Under the Oaks sells its lavender in a variety of forms, including dried flowers, oils, culinary ingredients and beauty and health products. A key point of business for the farm has been the medicinal and healing qualities of lavender.
“The public in general, especially
simple, as if praying for people to stop fighting or to be kind to one another is simple, or the lowly work of the meek. He is sincere and this is who he is. He meditates daily.
***
Romny began using his artistic skills to help those with developmental, intellectual, and physical disabilities. Worked on and off for seven years at the nonprofit Hozhoni Foundation, in Northern Arizona, caring for the elderly and the young with emotional problems, through art therapy.
He and his wife, Hilary Myla, moved to Tucson and he found similar work at another non-profit, Intermountain Centers for Human Development.
His art and work history helping others gets him hired in lieu of college degrees; he’s hired based on his abilities. To hear him say it, he’s almost shocked for the employment, alongside those with art degrees. Just doesn’t see what others see.
He is just now working at Resilient
Health as an “artistic behavioral health specialist” under the center’s “Art Awakenings” purview. It favors his strengths, he said, a healing power of self-expression. He talks of one day returning to school to become an actual therapist. “It would be nice to get a little more scholarly.”
He talks of the suffering he’s worked with over the years, the schizophrenics, the suicidal, the bipolar, the disabled, the self-harming. Sometimes feeding and cleaning them.
“I present art as a coping skill, for the anger, isolation, loneliness. We can create something wherever we are. Sometimes a kid, who couldn’t be trusted with a plastic spoon, is soon carving safely with a small machete. It’s baby steps.”
He shakes his head, withholds specific horror stories of the severely troubled he’s seen and worked with, and said, “It taught me patience.” He pauses, con-
Go to
siders that a moment, adds, “it’s pretty incredible to be able to share things I do to help them.”
***
Several days later, late-morning, Romny slackens into a chair on the small back porch of the midtown duplex he shares with his wife, who he met years ago at Outward Bound.
“When I first saw her I knew she was it,” he said. “For her I think it took a little bit,” he laughs. Hilary is out today, doing office work at a local Montessori school. They’ve been married 15 years.
She’s not into Buddhism, and Romny said it doesn’t matter. “The amount of compassion that Hilary has comes naturally. Sometimes I wish I had that.”
Their place sits behind a new weed dispensary, which forced the landlord to erect a corrugated large metal wall around the property. The outdoor brick toolshed doubles as a meditation space,
a sizable toolbox shares space with a Buddha and an Asian rug. A hummingbird hovers around blooms of tended cactus, colorful Tibetan prayer flags catch a light breeze over the pleasing yard, rich in springtime scents.
Romney talks family; the closeness with his sibs, who live in the northeast, and his mother, who still doesn’t speak English. His dad died a decade or so ago, Romny made it back to the Bronx in time to say goodbye.
The yard shows a shaded worktable to the side, with its forever patina of desert dust, organized with file tools, a small machete and raw pieces of wood. He sits anywhere with a sketchpad. He plays disc golf as a hobby, but not video games, and “I don’t watch TV much. I’d rather be outside creating something.”
Gentleness is a quality and value that gets squashed and beaten down daily in anyone worth a damn. As it is said, a good piece of wood has one major quality that defines it.
“I think I just want to be at peace,” Romny said. “Be here in the world, be OK.” He laughs, “then my mind goes all over the place.”
Would you like to honor someone special? You too can be a Guardian Angel for your loved one or another selfless hero who has been important in your life. We broke ground in March 2023. Every donation makes a di erence. The Arizona Heroes Memorial is seeking the support of everyone willing to act as a Guardian Angel and help us complete this project. Thank you for considering our request for support and for giving us some of your precious time.
By Linda Ray Tucson Weekly Columnist
GIVE MOM A GIRAFFE
A zoo animal is a perfect gift for any occasion. Imagine, for instance, taking your mom to the zoo on her day and introducing her to your new family member. The zoo can’t promise her official adoption package by then, but why wait? Your adoption fee goes to work right away supporting the zoo’s animals and education programs. For $30 she’ll get a certificate and info about her animal. Extra goodies are included in other packages up to $300.
9 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily or 24 hours online, Reid Park Zoo, 3400 Zoo Court, reidparkzoo.org/get-involved/ adopt-an-animal, adoptions start at $30.
READY, SET, SCHOOL!
Here’s a series of low-pressure playtimes for kids entering kindergarten in the fall. It will help them build confidence for that scary first day of school. With their parent or caregiver, 4- and 5-year-olds discover letters, sounds and numbers; practice focus and self-control and try critical thinking and communication skills in English. Along the way, they’ll hear and tell stories, sing songs and enjoy activities. 10:30 a.m. to noon every Friday for eight weeks, May 12 to June 29, Wheeler Taft Abbett Sr. Library, 7800 N. Schisler Drive, register via pima. bibliocommons.com/v2/events. A second series begins 10:30 a.m. to noon Friday, May 26
“STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI” IN CONCERT
In this climactic episode, the Tucson Symphony accompanies Darth Vader as he readies a new death star, and Luke Skywalker as he joins Princess Leia and two loveable droids to free Han Solo from Jabba the Hut. The music swells and soars throughout the ensuing battle with the entire Imperial Fleet. After hearing this epic galactic fable as never before, you can enjoy a meet and greet in the lobby with members of the 501st
“NERDLESQUE: THE FULL FRONTIER”
Longtime local burlesque leading light Natasha Noir presents another in her series of burlesque shows for nerds like us. Expect sultry reveals of pop-culture heroes, from the highest-regarded to the most obscure. Noir describes the event as a “full-length striptease revue” of favorite characters from “across the geeky galaxy.” It’s for fans of comics, movies, anime, pop culture, horror and, of course, classic burlesque.
10 p.m. Friday, May 12, Surly Wench Pub, 424 N. Fourth Avenue, surlywenchpub. com, $10 at the door
REVEILLE MEN’S CHORUS SALUTES DIVERSITY IN HEROISM.
(REVEILLE MEN’S CHORUS/SUBMITTED)
“NERDLESQUE” REVEALS ELVIRA AND OTHER ICONS OF POPULAR CULTURE. (NERDLESQUE/SUBMITTED)
REVEILLE MEN’S CHORUS: “HEROES/SHEROES/THEYROES”
Reveille’s spring concert celebrates “Queeros,” folks who, by being true to themselves became superheroes to others. In addition to a selection of show tunes and popular favorites, the chorus will premiere a new work dedicated to Bayard Rustin, a close adviser to Martin Luther King. Rustin was nicknamed Mr. March on Washington for his role in organizing protests for racial justice. The new work was composed by Nehemiah Luckett.
7:30 p.m. Saturday, May 13, and 2 p.m. Sunday, May 14, Temple of Music and Art, 330 S. Scott Avenue, reveillemenschorus.org, $25 advance, $30 door, free for kids under 12
REISEN WINERY TOUR (SONOITA-BENSON)
Owned and operated by a third-generation Tucsonan, Reisen tours are laced with inside knowledge and informed by decades of family memories. Sonoita is rolling and wheat-colored this time of year. Its terrain eases the way of the desert into the surrounding high country. The land and climate are ideal for boutique wineries. Taste wines at four of them on Reisen’s six-hour winery tour itinerary.
THE GRAPES ARE IN THE BOTTLES NOW, READY FOR TASTING. (VISIT TUCSON/SUBMITTED)
Start times vary, every Saturday through June 3, reisenarizona.com/#day-tours, $175, pickup is in Tucson, lunch is included
Legion. Audience costumes are encouraged.
7 p.m. Friday, May 12, and 2 p.m. Saturday, May 13, Linda Ronstadt Music Hall, 260 S. Church Avenue, tucsonsymphony.org, tickets start at $17
GUNS TO GARDENS
What to do with that gun you have lying around? Have no plans for hunting or target shooting? Concerned that
8 to 11 a.m., Saturday, May 13, Southside Presbyterian Church, 317 W. 23rd Street, gunstogardens@ southsidepres.org, free
TRAIN DAY
This is a great day for model train collectors, both current and aspirational. Admission is free, and the focus is on Tucson’s model trains and garden train communities. Yes, there are trains running through local backyards. For the kids there will be rides on the Fun Farm Choo Choo, and everyone can watch for an up close and personal look at a passing Union Pacific freight train. You can also visit the full-size Locomotive No. 1673
10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, May 13, Southern Arizona Transportation Museum, 414 N. Toole Avenue, tucsonhistoricdeepot.org, free
READINGS AT ANTIGONE BOOKS
Mari Herreras, a former Tucson Weekly editor and fifth-generation Tucsonan, debuts her first published chap ter book of poetry, inspired by her years living around the corner, “At Grande and Congress.” The readings, presented by local R&R Press, also include Brian Smith, author of the Tucson Weekly column “Tucson Salvage,” reading from his book of the same name. Dan Stuart, a prolific author best-known for his band, Green on Red, will read from “Marlowe’s Revenge,” the final book in his Marlow Billings Trilogy. Maggie Smith will read from her forthcoming young-adult novel, “Catamopus.”
4 p.m. Saturday, May 13, Antigone Books, 411 N. Fourth Avenue, antigonebooks.com, free
MAMMA MIA SINGALONG AT THE LOFT
kids might get to it? Can’t sell it, or don’t want to? Put it in the trunk or the rear of your vehicle and drive it over to Southside Presbyterian Church on Saturday morning. Safe, experienced arms handlers will take it out and dispose of it for you according to guidelines of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. All drop offs are anonymous. The metal will be forged into gardening tools.
Sing, dance and hug a mom (or similar) to the timeless, bubbly charm of this movie’s all-ABBA score. Indulge your overbusy, overwrought mind in a story line as pastel as a spring afternoon on a sunny Greek Island. Understand, fully, the emotional range of Meryl Streep’s remarkable career. Surely someone you know deserves this ice cream sundae of an afternoon with you.
2 p.m. Sunday, May 14, The Loft Cinema, 3233 E. Speedway Boulevard, loftcinema.org, $15, $12 for children under 12, passes not accepted)
LAUGHING STOCK
GREGG TURKINGTON: CUTTING-EDGE COMEDY
By Linda Ray Tucson Weekly Columnist
Gregg Turkington is a Swiss army knife of comedy. Neil Hamburger is the blade. Your humble scribe is not the equal of those who routinely pen lacerating smartassery in acid quips about the fulsome awfulness of Hamburger’s comedy.
We also resist the pity that would normally accompany our beholding such epic sloth and awkwardness. We long to offer a lozenge for that phlegm-filled throat, a tissue for those clogged sinuses, Milk of Magnesia for what appear to be painful stomach ulcers, and a comb, or maybe hedge clippers, for those forsaken locks.
We brace ourselves, firmly, for his onslaught of terrible puns, groan-inspir-
LAUGHINGSTOC K
ing one-liners, misanthropic bon mots, and, heaven help us, “knock-knock” jokes, even while hammering our big, imaginary gong because, of course, we wouldn’t miss it.
A Hamburger show is as transfixing as a train wreck. It’s an outsized, multi-faceted pile of contorted genius. His jokes have pilloried easy targets like Ted Nugent, the Beach Boys’ Mike Love, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aerosmith and Iron Maiden. “What’s the only thing worse than police brutality? The Police discography.”
Yet they frequently hold barbed social commentary or a cause for self-reflection. Prepare to keep the mental lights on while groaning.
Hamburger is a contrivance of Turkington. The Hamburger character first emerged on a self-produced 1992 recording, “Great Phone Calls,” featuring a dozen tracks of crank phone calls of his own creation. As we would say in the podcast age, “It blew up.”
Two compilations of country “hits” became his best-known Hamburger recordings. His 2008 release, “Neil Hamburger Sings Country Winners” includes original compositions along with covers of popular genre-spanners like “Midnight Cowboy,” “Crazy on You,” “Standing on the Corner” and “Homeward Bound.” The recording is still available on cassette as well as LP and download.
Turkington’s label at the time, and for a few releases since, was Drag City, an edgy, Chicago outfit best known for its post-punk and indie music stable including Stereolab, Bonnie Prince Billy, Pavement and the Silver Jews. But the label also waxed Fred Armisen and Andy Kaufman, so they had an ear
for smart, quirky comedy, and Turkington/Hamburger’s country-seasoned tracks fit neatly into thentrendy “Alt.Country” ears.
Drag City’s connections in the industry resulted in a far better, tighter backing band than we might expect for Hamburger’s funny business, but the contrast between the inspired musicianship and the offbeat singing made “Neil Hamburger Sings Country Winners” an underground-insider hit.
In all, Turkington/Hamburger features on 46 recordings, including some with several bands he belonged to. His agile wit has sustained a sizeable audience for his social satire. While Drag City has continued to move his product, more recently he’s recorded with Third Man label, headed by Jack White of the White Stripes. Third Man is also home to Dave Chappelle, Rory Scovel, Stephen Colbert and Conan O’Brien.
Turkington was born to American parents in Australia and grew up in Arizona and San Francisco. The Arizona experience surfaced in his first claim to notoriety, a ‘zine called “Breakfast Without Meat.” The Meat Puppets’ Derrick Bostrom was a frequent contributor.
By 2006 he was a popular guest on underground internet talk shows, including Tom Green’s House Tonight, and he started his own talk show, “Poolside Chats,” on Tomgreen.com. Among guests were Buzz Osborne of the Melvins and Kyle Gass of Tenacious D.
The following year he toured with Tenacious D, and, while that led to a performance at Madison Square Garden, he left the tour when audiences in the UK began booing and heckling him. They have since embraced his peculiarity.
Turkington found his largest, most devoted audience in the 13- season run of “On Cinema at the Cinema,” a satiric web series with Tim Heidecker. The show was among the first picked up by Adult Swim, where it found a much
broader audience for its passive- snark send-up of know-it-all movie critics. Imagine an edgier, more culturally relevant “Between Two Ferns.” Turkington, as a character named “Gregg Turkington,” undermined every expectation of a movie critic, while exaggerating all of the affectations.
The most recent exciting development in Turkington’s acting career was a movie role as Hamburger in the film, “Fremont,” which debuted this year at the Sundance Film Festival. A dramatic tale about an Afghan refugee finding her way in America as a fortune cookie fortune writer, the story is rich with unique characters. So far, it’s earned a 95% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Neil Hamburger, 8 p.m. Friday, May 19, 191 Toole, 191 E. Toole Avenue, 191toole.com, $25
MORE COMEDY THIS WEEK
Coyote Trail Stage, 8000 N. Silverbell Road, maranalaughs.com/shop, 7:30 p.m. Friday, May 12, tickets start at $10, Marana Laughs Clean Comedy, Brian Kohatsu, family-friendly with a playful knowledge of pop culture.
Laff’s Comedy Caffe, 2900 E. Broadway Boulevard, laffstucson.com, $15, $20 preferred seating, 8 p.m. and 10:30
NEIL HAMBURGER IS AN UNMISSABLE, TERRIBLE COMEDIAN. (SIMONE TURKINGTON/CONTRIBUTOR)
MUSIC
CROCODILES’ NEW SHOW IS ‘HEAVEN’ SENT
By Thomas Crone Tucson Weekly Contributor
The two core members of Crocodiles have made inter-city writing, recording and touring work. Despite living in very different parts of the world, the pair of Brandon Welchez (vocals, guitar and based in Los Angeles), Charles Rowell (guitar with a home in Paris) have kept the band alive and prospering. And they’re now well into their second decade of work in this form.
When asked if he ever looked back on the group’s career, to say 2011 or so, when the band’s name was new and ascendent on the indie rock circuit, Welchez said that he doesn’t give that period a lot of looks. But when he does peek at YouTube videos of the band in that moment, he gets a variety of good feels.
“That was a really fun time,” he said in an early April phone interview. “It was really fun with our first, longtime lineup. Saw a lot of the world and put out nothing but good records. Our drummer quit to start a family and our keyboardist quit to become an extremely successful graphic artist. How I’ve always seen our band is our trying to play with nice, talented, cool people. They stay with us a few years and move on.”
In doing so, they leave openings for new players to come in and add their stamp to the band’s songs, which now date back to the group’s 2008 arrival in San Diego.
The band’s live sets for this year (be it in the United States or Europe, where two different backing groups support the pair) will feature a catalog-spanning batch of tracks, including a chunk of cuts from 2023’s “Upside Down in Heaven.”
“We have quite a bit to choose from
now, about 80 songs,” Welchez said. “Being that we’re promoting a new album, about half of the set will be songs from the new record and the other half a mix-and-match from over the years. Some of these we’ve been playing for 15 years. We’re playing our first single and some of our very first songs.”
Though a service like Spotify shows that the group has no small amount of avid listeners, Welchez said, “We’ve never had a real hit, so there’s maybe a little less pressure. There’re definitely fan favorites that we’re playing. Since we’re promoting a new record, which has its own style, we’ll choose older songs that make it cohesive and fun and energetic. There’s a lot of variety in our catalog and we can kind of put together different sets. This one will definitely have more high energy songs.”
True of other albums, there’s a mix in place.
“We’ve been called shoegaze/punk,” Welchez said. “All sorts of things get mentioned. We’re ’80s throwback, ’60s throwbacks. We’re all of that and none of it.”
As with artists the world-round, the COVID era put a stamp on the lyrical
approach to ‘Upside Down’ as “the lyrics are somewhat of a bummer though the songs can be poppy. A lot of these songs were written during the pandemic, with a lot of negative stuff going on in general,” Welchez said.
That noted, if some negative vibes might be hinted at in the lyrics, the band’s feedback-drenched rock ‘n’ roll might wash away some of the angst. Or maybe not.
As Welchez told Brooklyn Vegan, “‘Degeneration’ was written in the boiling, diseased summer of 2020 where I found myself overworked, underpaid and choking on wildfire smoke. The free time I had was spent doom-scrolling the latest COVID death toll or inundating myself with news of literal fascists marching the streets. I found myself floating on a cloud of anger, fear and frustration. Rather than allow myself to fall into bad old habits or succumb to my negative emotion.”
The first two singles — “Degeneration” and “Love Beyond the Grave” — paced the album’s early April arrival and there’s a full slate of cross-country touring readied for spring and summer, and Europe on deck for the fall.
CROCODILES PERFORM SATURDAY, MAY 13, AT CLUB CONGRESS. (ALLAN WAN/CONTRIBUTOR)
At this point, Welchez is happy to be back in the business of touring.
“We’re both from San Diego,” he said, “and we’ve moved around a lot over the past 10 to 15 years. It’s not really any more difficult than it ever was. The only real issue is that we can’t do oneoff shows, just tours. If we tour in Europe, Charles has European friends that are ready to play and if we play here (in the states), it’s just Charles who has to fly over, which saves us a lot of money and affords us the ability to play with various musicians around the world. We have a pool of around 10 or so people that we ask to play. There’ve been different lineups and different eras and drummers, especially, (who) add a lot to the personality and vibe. The style of the drummers really determines what type of show we can pull off.”
Crocodiles w/Lenguas Largas and Class
WHEN: 7 p.m. Saturday, May 13
WHERE: Club Congress, 311 E. Congress Street, Tucson
COST: Tickets start at $12
INFO: hotelcongress.com
CHOW
CAPRIOTTI’S BRINGS ‘FANATICALLY DELICIOUS’ SANDWICHES TO TUCSON
By Christina Fuoco-Karasinski
Inside Tucson Business Staff
After 20 years in the U.S. Air Force, Jose Alvarez moved to Tucson, ready to start his next business venture.
He noticed a lack of food diversity in the area and that inspired him and his friend, Ed Mingus, to open Tucson’s first Capriotti’s Sandwich Shop, 1830 E. Broadway Boulevard. Two more locations are slated to open in the city.
Capriotti’s is known for its wide array of sandwiches, including The Bobbie, made with oven-roasted turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing and mayo.
“I say it’s Thanksgiving in your mouth,” Alvarez said with a laugh.
“It’s turkey, cranberry and stuffing. You can have Thanksgiving yearround.”
Other menu offerings include the Capastrami, with hot pastrami, Swiss cheese, Russian dressing and homemade coleslaw; and the cheesesteak with premium steak, chicken or Impossible plant-based meat and melted cheese plus hot or sweet peppers.
“Our classic cheesesteak has Ameri-
can cheese, grilled onions, mushrooms and steak,” he said. “We also add hot and sweet peppers, which makes it a total game changer of a sandwich. This sandwich is totally amazing.”
Alvarez also enjoys the chicken chipotle crunch, made with grilled chicken, American cheese and topped with lettuce, tomato, crispy cheddar onions and chipotle ranch dressing; and the American Wagyu Slaw Be Joe, with American Wagyu beef, coleslaw, provolone cheese, Russian dressing and mayo.
Prices are reasonable — the Slaw Be Joe starts at $7.99 — and Alvarez chalked that up to a direct purchase from Snake River Farms, eschewing third-party pricing.
“We get to sell Wagyu beef at a cheaper price to the customers,” he said. “The Wagyu is delicious.”
Tucson Capriotti’s fans can download the CAPAddicts Rewards app on iOS and Android to earn and redeem
rewards and score free food. Capriotti’s in Tucson offers catering for any event, from corporate events to birthday parties, with items such as party trays with cold subs, box lunches, or a hot homemade meatball bar.
Since he retired, he worked as an airline mechanic, truck driver and utility company inspector.
Open since mid-April, the Tucson Capriotti’s offers an order-ahead option, in addition to third-party delivery services. The new shop brought 20 new jobs to Tucson.
Alvarez was born and raised in Southern California and joined the Air Force in 1997. One of his last tours before his 2017 retirement was a year and a half in Turkey.
“I requested to come back to Arizona to retire,” he said. “Luckily, I got Luke Air Force Base, near where my brother and parents live. I got to retire close to family.”
“I was tired of working for other people,” he said. “I thought, ‘Let me see what I can do for myself.’ I had a good idea. I sold my rental home in Idaho and used that money as a down payment to open the business. I sold my house and used the equity to open Capriotti’s. I just couldn’t help myself. When we were hungry in Vegas, Capriotti’s was our go-to. I hope people in Tucson think the same way about it.”
p.m. Friday, May 12, and 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, May 13, Justin Berkman, a smart comic with original ideas and a busy passport
The Screening Room, 127 E. Congress Street, screeningroomdowntown. com, 7 p.m. Tuesday, May 9, $10; Daniel Eachus, a finalist in Comedy Central’s “Up Next” with a Dry Bar special, “A Mild and Skinny Guy”
The Screening Room, 127 E. Congress Street, screeningroomdowntown. com, 10 p.m. Friday, May 12, tickets start at $25 advance; as seen on Comedy Central, Graham Elwood talks politics; Shishonia Livingston opens.
Spark Project Collective Event Center, 4433 E. Broadway Boulevard, 6:30 signup, 7 p.m. start, free, Ernie Celaya hosts. This will be the last monthly mic at Spark.
Surly Wench Pub, 424 N. Fourth Avenue, surlywenchpub.com, 6 p.m. Sunday, May 14, $8 advance, $10 door, Wench Comedy’s seventh anniversary showcase for Mother’s Day: Phoenix comic Leslie Barton headlines, Steven Black guests, Maggie O’ Shea, Cindell Hanson, Amber Frame and Nicolette DiMaggio round out the bill, Roxy Merrari hosts.
Tucson Improv Movement/TIM Comedy Theatre, 414 E. Ninth Street, tucsonimprov.com, $7 each show, $10 for both shows, same night, free jam and open mic.7:30 p.m. Thursday, May 11, “Cage Match;” 8:30 p.m. Open Mic.; 6:30 p.m. Friday, May 12, Improv Jam; 7:30 p.m. “The Soapbox;” 9 p.m. “Improv v. Standup;” 7:30 p.m. Saturday, May 13, “Your Favorite Movie Improvised” and “The Meeting;” 9 p.m. “Fourth Avenue Confessions”
Unscrewed Theater, 4500 E. Speedway Boulevard, unscrewedtheatre.org, $8, live or remote, $5 kids. 7:30 p.m. Friday, May 12, Family-Friendly Improv; 9 p.m. Unscrewed Fridays After Dark (pay what you will); 7:30 p.m. Saturday, May 13, Family Friendly Improv; 9 p.m. Uncensored Improv Comedy with house teams Not Burnt Out Just Unscrewed and The Big Daddies
Vail Theatre of the Arts, 10701 E. Mary Ann Cleveland Way, vaillaughs.com, 7 p.m. Saturday, May 13, Vail Laughs Clean Comedy, Brian Kohatsu, tickets start at $10, Brian Kohatsu
MUSIC
LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR
By Connor Dziawura Tucson Local Media Staff
MAY 11
First Day on Earth
Club Congress, 7:30 p.m., $10
Freezing Hands, Spank and Lemon Drop Gang
Groundworks, 7 p.m., $10
Steve Hofstetter
191 Toole, 7 p.m., $28
MAY 12
Greg Morton & Jim Stanley LaCo Tucson, 5:30 p.m., free Malachite!, Bäsmini, Chess club Dropout, Tyler Beck (Stumpy), Disband, SudotheNomad and Bug Byte Groundworks, 6:30 p.m., $8-$10
Sophia Rankin & the Sound Hotel Congress Plaza, 7 p.m., $12.50-$15 Ste and the Articles
191 Toole, 8 p.m., $12
MAY 13
Bob Bauer
LaCo Tucson, 11 a.m., free Crocodiles
Club Congress, 7:30 p.m., $12-$15
Eugene Boronow
LaCo Tucson, 6 p.m., free G Perico
191 Toole, 8:30 p.m., $25
Terra Tigerman, Chloe Defector, Gnoolie, HP, Like the Bug and Lunar Excursion Module
Groundworks, 7 p.m., $10
MAY 14
Mik and the Funky Brunch LaCo Tucson, 11 a.m., free
MAY 15
Century Room Jazz Orchestra
The Century Room, 7 p.m., $15-$20
MAY 16
The Lucky Devils Band Showcase Club Congress, 7 p.m., free Miss Lana Rebel & Kevin Michael Mayfield LaCo Tucson, 5:30 p.m., free
MAY 17
Mysterious Babies Traditional Jazz Band
The Century Room, 7 p.m., $10
Oscar Fuentes
LaCo Tucson, 5:30 p.m., free Tamikrest
Hotel Congress Plaza, 8 p.m., $17-$20
MARVINA THOMAS BALANCES SUCCESS, GIVING BACK
By Christina Fuoco-Karasinski Tucson Weekly Sta
Black entrepreneurs account for less than 2% of the nation’s cannabis businesses — a narrative being changed by Marvina Thomas and her company Fourtwenty Collections, a 100% Black, female-owned business.
With headquarters in Arizona and New Mexico, Thomas is a community-forward entrepreneur who uses her success to give back and provide opportunities to underrepresented communities.
In the cannabis industry, women
only maintain 22% of executive roles, and minorities, 13%, cites a recent study. Thomas doesn’t allow these odds to deter her.
“My company, Fourtwenty Collections, consists of CBD skin care, THC-infused medibles, and a fashion line for men and women,” she explains.
Fourtwenty Collections has been serving the cannabis industry in Arizona since 2016 and expanded into the emerging New Mexico market in late 2022. Both locations place an emphasis on providing job opportunities to un-
MARVINA
THOMAS IS THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN TO OWN AND OPERATE A DISPENSARY IN ARIZONA. (FOURTWENTY COLLECTIONS/SUBMITTED)
derrepresented members of the BIPOC community and women, according to Thomas.
“We (Fourtwenty Collections) handcraft luxury skin care and indulgent edibles to enhance our clients’ self-care regime and the lives of those in need,” she said. “A former registered nurse, I am interested in the benefits of CBD and THC to help promote a healthy body and mind. This includes utilizing these products to help those impacted by drug addiction.”
Thomas’ transition from nurse to entrepreneur was inspired by her former patients who battled with addiction.
“One patient still stands out in my memory and heart,” she recalls. “A drug user, her face was badly burned from a pipe that blew up in her face. I had just started making soaps, and I brought her one, and in about two weeks her skin started to heal. That was a pivotal mo-
ment for me to move from nursing to full-time cannabis enthusiast and entrepreneur.”
From the beginning, Thomas said that Fourtwenty Collections was community oriented.
“I wanted to provide relief to my clients while building an operation that had the ability to give back to those in need. This is what fueled Fourtwenty
BUDTENDER DIARIES
Terpenes, trichomes and THC percentages…oh my!
By Eva Halvax Tucson Weekly Contributor
The misconception surrounding THC percentages dominates the cannabis market, limiting the true benefits of the plant.
Everyone who consumes cannabis has a different relationship with the plant; as it is something deeply personal. I’ve spent the last two years working at a dispensary, where I was quickly introduced to the hodgepodge of preferences that exist when it comes to consuming cannabis. But really, it all boils down to the same thing. Needing some type of relief.
Everyone’s in pain, nobody can sleep and we’re all brimming with anxiety. Naturally, people tend to think that the higher the potency the better the high will be. This can seem like the safest way to shop, ask for whatever flower is testing the highest and no regrets will be had. And in an environment where you’re surrounded by an absolute smorgasbord of products, it can be hard to decide.
But evaluating a flower strain from its percentage alone is akin to judging a book by the cover. As the legalization of cannabis has opened the doors for research regarding the science between us and the plant, multiple studies have revealed that higher testing flower does not necessarily dictate the quality of a high. In fact, a 2020 study from the University of Colorado found that THC levels do not necessarily correlate with intoxication levels. So, while numbers might determine the THC levels in a particular strain, they do not necessarily equate with how effective the strain is.
Yet, there’s little love for the strains that don’t test higher than 20%. When I’m at work, I’ll feel a weird twinge of guilt, sorry that instead of a magical strain that tests at 30%, all I have to offer is a spiel about terpenes and cannabinoids. But it’s a pretty great spiel.
There are hundreds of known can-
nabinoids, such as THC, CBD and CBN. THC is really only one component that makes up the scope of what gets you “high.” While THC is a major cannabinoid responsible in producing some psychoactive effects, the heart of a good high is found in a perfect concoction of terpenes and cannabinoids that begin to form in the trichomes of the bud. Ever notice that frosted layer of crystals on a bud? That’s where it all begins.
The systemic ways in which our bodies react to cannabis is a symphony of science. First, there’s the endocannabinoid system, a network of receptors housed throughout the brain and body that react to THC and other cannabinoids in a variety of ways. They can relieve pain, make you sleepy, or improve your overall mood.
This, simply put, is getting stoned.
Then there are the aromatic compounds known as terpenes, which help define the characteristics of a particular strain. Do you prefer something earthy and pungent? That’s myrcene. Or maybe something citrusy and tart? That would be limonene. Together, terpenes and cannabinoids work together to create the entourage effect; a biological harmony of cannabinoids and terpenes that produce the desired effects of cannabis-euphoria, relaxation, pain relief, and so on.
Building an understanding with what terpenes you enjoy the most holds the key to finding the perfect strain. In another moment of fascinating synergy, different terpenes have been associated with different kinds of relief. Strains
Representative: Kristin Chester
Date: 3/14/19
high in terpenes such as myrcene and caryophyllene can be helpful in treating insomnia and chronic pain. Strains that contain limonene may be beneficial in treating stress and anxiety.
So, it’s not all about numbers. If you tell your budtender that you’re looking for a strain dominant in specific terpenes or cannabinoids, they can do their best to find what might be right for you. And that’s what we’re here for. To
Proof Number: 1
Designer: OM
answer any questions. It’s a cliche, but there are truly no stupid questions. And OK, I won’t lie. Recommending strains to people is always a little nerve-wracking. I don’t want to sell you something that will ruin your day. So, I’ll leave you with the little disclaimer I like to give at work: No effect is truly guaranteed when it comes to medicating with cannabis. Everybody is different, and there is a lot of trial and error. Albeit fun trial and error.
Happy strain hunting!
SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREATMENT & COUNSELING
• On staff physician certified in addiction treatment
• Individual and Group Counseling provided by licensed drug & alcohol counselor.
• Group Topics: Relapse prevention, Peer Support, Crisis interventions, and Family dynamics
• Liquid methadone, tablets, diskettes, and suboxone
• Walk-ins welcome no appointment needed
• Mon-Fri 5AM-6PM Sat 7AM- Noon NOW ACCEPTING AHCCCS
DEALER’S CHOICE
THIS WEEK’S INDICA: Tangerine kush is a bouquet rich in myrcene and limonene. Tangerine kush is a bold and citrusy delight, perfect for enjoying those Tucson sunsets. Soak up those lazy afternoons with the happy and relaxed high that this strain has to o er. Tangerine kush can be bene cial in helping insomnia, chronic pain and appetite.
THIS WEEK’S HYBRID: Gelato is a heavenly balance of energy and euphoria. Peaceful but giggly, Gelato gifts you with a high that blends the best of both worlds.
THIS WEEK’S SATIVA: Lemon meringue is a zesty and energetic choice, perfect for stimulating a creative ow. Lean into the things you need to get done with the focused high of this strain. Lemon meringue can also help treat headaches, fatigue and depression.
Collections’ Buy & Give program. The program provides resources, such as personal necessities and health care assistance, for men and women. Each time someone makes a purchase, a donation is made to help others. By using our products, our customers are helping improve the quality of life for those in need.”
In addition to setting an example in the cannabis sector, Thomas self-funds the nonprofit, Start Living Inc. Profits from 420 Skin Care and 420 Medibles benefit Start Living with services and resources to reintroduce patients to healthier living. “Educating people on the benefits of medical cannabis and helping them to transition away from opioids has been one of my greatest joys and a key to my success,” Thomas said.
With multiple recovery home facilities in Arizona, the addiction recovery organization will now have locations in New Mexico, helping people in both states impacted from alcohol and substance use successfully reenter society. Fourtwenty Collections offers in-house job opportunities to Start Living Inc. program graduates after successful course completion.
“As a nurse, I saw first-hand the effects of drug addiction on my pa-
tients and wanted to provide them with longer term care and a hand up to get their lives back on track,” Thomas said. “Through the proceeds from Fourtwenty Collections, I’m able to help patients go through these programs and often can employ them after they graduate from the program.
“It’s all about community and helping others. We are thrilled to find success in Arizona and, most recently, New Mexico. Fourtwenty Collections prides itself in giving back to its local communities while delivering original and trusted products to consumers.”
Fourtwenty Collections
fourtwenty-collections.com
Social media: @fourtwenty_collections
Available in Tucson
Desert Bloom Re-leaf
8060 E. 22nd Street, Suite 108, Tucson
Earth’s Healing
2075 E. Benson Highway, Tucson
78 W. River Road, Tucson
Hana Meds
1732 W. Duval Commerce Point Place, Green Valley
TUCSON AREA DISPENSARIES
BLOOM TUCSON
4695 N. Oracle Road, Suite 117
520-293-3315; bloomdispensary.com
Open: 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily
BOTANICA
6205 N. Travel Center Drive
520-395-0230; botanica.us
Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily
DESERT BLOOM RE-LEAF CENTER
8060 E. 22nd Street, Suite 108 520-886-1760; dbloomtucson.com
Open: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily
Offering delivery
DOWNTOWN DISPENSARY
221 E. Sixth Street, Suite 105 520-838-0492; thedowntowndispensary.com
Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Saturday; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday
D2 DISPENSARY
7139 E. 22nd Street
520-214-3232; d2dispensary.com
Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Saturday; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday
EARTH’S HEALING
Two locations:
North: 78 W. River Road 520-253-7198
South: 2075 E. Benson Highway 520-373-5779
earthshealing.org
Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday through Saturday; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sundays; Offering delivery
GREEN MED WELLNESS CENTER
6464 E. Tanque Verde Road 520-886-2484, greenmedwellness.com
Open: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Friday; 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday
HALO CANNABIS
7710 S. Wilmot Road
520-664-2251; thegreenhalo.org
Open: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily
HANA GREEN VALLEY
1732 W. Duval Commerce Point Place
520-289-8030
Open: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday; 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday
HARVEST OF TUCSON
2734 E. Grant Road 520-314-9420; askme@harvestinc.com; harvestofaz.com
Open: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily
NATURE MED
5390 W. Ina Road
520-620-9123; naturemedaz.com
Open: 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily
THE PRIME LEAF
Two locations:
• 4220 E. Speedway Boulevard
• 1525 N. Park Avenue
520-44-PRIME; theprimeleaf.com
Open: 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sundays
TUCSON SAINTS
112 S. Kolb Road 520-886-1003; medicalmarijuanaoftucson.com
Open: 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily
COMICS
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL
19)
All of us are always telling ourselves stories—in essence, making movies in our minds. We are the producer, the director, the special effects team, the voice-over narrator, and all the actors in these inner dramas. Are their themes repetitious and negative or creative and life-affirming? The coming weeks will be a favorable time to work on emphasizing the latter. If the tales unfolding in your imagination are veering off in a direction that provokes anxiety, reassert your directorial authority. Firmly and playfully reroute them so they uplift and enchant you.
TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)
A famous football coach once said his main method was to manipulate, coax, and even bully his players into doing things they didn’t like to do. Why? So they could build their toughness and willpower, making it more likely they would accomplish formidable feats. While this may be an approach that works for some tasks, it’s not right for many others. Here’s a further nuance: The grind-it-out-doing-unpleasantthings may be apt for certain phases of a journey to success, but not for other phases. Here’s the good news, Taurus: For now, you have mostly completed doing what you don’t love to do. In the coming weeks, your freedom to focus on doing fun things will expand dramatically.
GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)
Most of us have an area of our lives where futility is a primary emotion. This may be a once-exciting dream that never got much traction. It could be a skill we possess that we’ve never found a satisfying way to express. The epicenter of our futility could be a relationship that has never lived up to its promise or a potential we haven’t been able to ripen. Wherever this sense of fruitlessness resides in your own life, Gemini, I have an interesting prediction: During the next 12 months, you will either finally garner some meaningful fulfillment through it or else find a way to outgrow it.
CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)
Many of us Cancerians have high levels of perseverance. Our resoluteness and doggedness may be uncanny. But we often practice these subtle superpowers with such sensitive grace that they’re virtually invisible to casual observers. We appear modest and gentle, not fierce and driven. For instance, this is the first time I have bragged about the fact that I have composed over 2,000 consecutive horoscope columns without ever missing a deadline. Anyway, my fellow Crabs, I have a really good feeling about how much grit and determination you will be able to marshal in the coming months. You may break your own personal records for tenacity.
LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)
Why do migrating geese fly in a V formation? For one thing, it conserves their energy. Every bird except the leader enjoys a reduction in wind resistance. As the flight progresses, the geese take turns being the guide in front. Soaring along in this shape also seems to aid the birds’ communication and coordination. I suggest you consider making this scenario your inspiration, dear Leo. You are entering a phase when synergetic cooperation with others is even more important than usual. If you feel called to lead, be ready and willing to exert yourself—and be open to letting your associates serve as leaders. For extra credit: Do a web search for an image of migrating geese and keep it in a prominent place for the next four weeks.
VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)
I boldly predict that you will soon locate a missing magic key. Hooray! It hasn’t been easy. There has been luck involved, but your Virgo-style diligence and ingenuity has been crucial. I also predict that you will locate the door that the magic key will unlock. Now here’s my challenge: Please fulfill my two predictions no later than the solstice. To aid your search, meditate on this question: “What is the most important break-
By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.
By Brian Box Brown
through for me to accomplish in the next six weeks?”
LIBRA
(SEPT. 23-OCT. 22)
Losing something we value may make us sad. It can cause us to doubt ourselves and wonder if we have fallen out of favor with the Fates or are somehow being punished by God. I’ve experienced deflations and demoralizations like that on far more occasions than I want to remember. And yet, I have noticed that when these apparent misfortunes have happened, they have often opened up space for new possibilities that would not otherwise have come my way. They have emptied out a corner of my imagination that becomes receptive to a fresh dispensation. I predict such a development for you, Libra.
SCORPIO
(OCT. 23-NOV. 21)
Kissing is always a worthy way to spend your leisure time, but I foresee an even finer opportunity in the coming weeks: magnificent kissing sprees that spur you to explore previously unplumbed depths of wild tenderness. On a related theme, it’s always a wise self-blessing to experiment with rich new shades and tones of intimacy. But you are now eligible for an unusually profound excursion into these mysteries. Are you bold and free enough to glide further into the frontiers of fascinating togetherness?
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21)
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek (1632–1723) worked at a variety of jobs. He sold cloth. He was a land surveyor and bookkeeper. He managed the household affairs of his city’s sheriffs, and he supervised the city’s wine imports and taxation. Oh, by the way, he also had a hobby on the side: lensmaking. This ultimately led to a spectacular outcome. Leeuwenhoek created the world’s first high-powered microscope and was instrumental in transforming microbiology into a scientific discipline. In accordance with astrological omens, I propose we make him your inspirational role model in the coming months, Sagittarius. What hobby or pastime or amusement could you turn into a central passion?
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19)
I wonder if you weren’t listened to attentively when you were a kid. And is
it possible you weren’t hugged enough or consistently treated with the tender kindness you deserved and needed? I’m worried there weren’t enough adults who recognized your potential strengths and helped nurture them. But if you did indeed endure any of this mistreatment, dear Capricorn, I have good news. During the next 12 months, you will have unprecedented opportunities to overcome at least some of the neglect you experienced while young. Here’s the motto you can aspire to: “It’s never too late to have a fruitful childhood and creative adolescence.”
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)
As I’ve explored the mysteries of healing my traumas and disturbances over the past 20 years, I’ve concluded that the single most effective healer I can work with is my own body. Expert health practitioners are crucial, too, but their work requires my body’s full, purposeful, collaborative engagement. The soft warm animal home I inhabit has great wisdom about what it needs and how to get what it needs and how to work with the help it receives from other healers. The key is to refine the art of listening to its counsel. It has taken me a while to learn its language, but I’m making good progress. Dear Aquarius, in the coming weeks, you can make great strides in developing such a robust relationship with your body.
PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20)
Can we surmise what your life might be like as the expansive planet Jupiter rumbles through your astrological House of Connections and Communications during the coming months? I expect you will be even more articulate and persuasive than usual. Your ability to create new alliances and nurture old ones will be at a peak. By the way, the House of Communications and Connections is also the House of Education and Acumen. So, I suspect you will learn a LOT during this time. It’s likely you will be brainier and more perceptive than ever before. Important advice: Call on your waxing intelligence to make you wiser as well as smarter.
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of an English Opening in
who portrayed Frida Kahlo
“___ got a feeling …”
who wrote “Romola”
“See ya!”
might have bumps on a log?
work assignment … or a hint to understanding four rows of answers in this puzzle
